The Break room. 

Not weird, but funny. We had a spate of purses having items stolen, usually when they were in the break room. So, we set a camera in the break room and waited. We caught an employee red handed waiting until one of the ladies weren't watching, reach into their purse and grab their wallet.

Then we got security to confront her. What followed was an epic shouting match as the suspect tried to deny that it was her on the camera and that we'd planted evidence. Yes, the IT guys have time in their busy schedule to make fake videos apparently. She was still screaming innocence when the cops carted her off.

Anyway, the crime spree did mysteriously end when she was fired. So, my guess is she was guilty. The camera also was useful in determining who on the night crew was watching porn on the break room kiosk machine, so that was fun also. They weren't fired, we just added a content filter and said maybe do that kind of stuff on your personal device when you get home. zerbey

Dirty Birds.

Not on camera but I've seen two birds doing it in the middle of the street.

On camera I saw a skunk go sailing past one of my cameras one night. No explanation for how it was propelled. flamedarkfire

Register on Fire....

I used to provide support for (insert big corporation)'s camera system. I've seen many things through my job.

• Register on fire
• Car being run through the front of the store
• Thief coming into the cash office and stealing many thousands of dollars at gun point while someone was counting the money (this one was hard to watch)
• Car crash that ended up with one of the cars flipping
• A group of people backing a truck through the front doors to steal the ATM cbosch12

The Display Window. 

Not a security guard but handle the security systems at our animal control kennel. These events happened all in the same week: 1 lady came up to the kennel doors ~20:00 banging on the door laughing

Next night guy pulls gun out and stares down it before putting it back in his pants and walks into the bar next door

Same guy pistol whips gf the next night.

About 2:00 (same night as pistol whip) 3 random guys stand on our porch drunkenly playing with the kittens in our display window. One proceeds to tongue kiss the window.

Plus more but not in the same week as all that stuff. behannrp

No Thanks....

My mom is a dispatcher and they have TVs for the cameras in the jail cells. One girl was touching herself and threatened to poop all over the place. This is why I would never work in a jail. BinkBonkers

Going Up. 

Everybody lets their guard down in the elevator, especially if there's a mirror. I've seen people dancing, doing their hair/makeup, picking their nose, couples getting handsy, couples fighting, etc. Every now and then someone will remember the camera is there and just stare at me intensely until they get off. dr_ralph_daggers

They got fired.

Not a security guard, but once at a call center when I was working there, a guy and girl went one at a time into the handicap restroom. Security caught it on the cctv and when the guy came out after 30 minutes (they clocked out for lunch) a guard was waiting for them, together with one of the operations managers, their team lead, and a rep from hr.

They got fired.

Superlemonada

"scary security stories" 

I have been in security for over a year, and finally, someone asks a question about it on AskReddit. (I actually signed up after reading the old "scary security stories" Ask threads. And yes, I know about r/talesfromsecurity. Meh.)

The disappearing people are the weirdest. My facility has 100% exterior camera coverage, and i've got several I can move around as needed.

I will see someone I don't recognize walking in one zone, and then completely disappear when they should have entered the next zone over. I'll rewatch the footage several times at different angles and rule out the possibility they went inside or got in a car.

It's really an oddity. AFAIK, nobody has died here, though there have been deaths at some of the other plants we cover. (P1 is haunted at hell.) spiderlanewales

Riding High....

I watched my schools security footage and saw our 60 something year old janitor try and fail to ride the back of his mop bucket down the hall. CookieOfTheNorth

swiping in drunk....

Not a security guard, but I got in trouble when I lived in the dorms in college for swiping in drunk. I didn't remember it and was super confused about how I had gotten inside, and still got caught at the same time. When I had to meet with the dorm advisors for my meeting to discuss getting punished, they showed me the video.

I guess I swiped in well enough, before throwing up on the DA's desk, then walking into the elevator like nothing had happened, while the chick at the desk just sat their, jaw dropped, horrified at my cavalier attitude. Apparently she was too stunned to stop me and at that point they had to wait until the next day since I was already in my room. It was pretty awkward seeing her the next time I swiped in while she was working. I'd imagine security who saw the tape thought it was hilarious. firstheir

Dance....

Honestly at this point I am unfazed by the spontaneous dancing and singing. Especially when you've been through stuff like Gangnam Style where every dad tries the moves when he thinks he's alone.

The thing that stays with me is some guy picking up a dead hedgehog from the parking lot, stuffing it in his coat and having a dead bird fall out. Crazy stuff. Reddit

 I see the problem. 

Was working in a manufacturing facility that did injection molded plastic. One night about 2am one of the machines came on and started running all by itself. I could see it running on two of the cameras. Went to investigate and shut it off. Back to my desk.

Two hours later i see it come on again. Shut it off again. Turned the controllable camera towards it and zoomed in to watch.

About an hour later, just before staff usually starts coming in, i see the problem. There was a rat that was furiously clawing and gnawing at the panel. He managed to bump his butt into the start switch and kick it on.

They weren't allowed to leave the machines "ready to go in the morning" anymore. Shadowhenge

"looks like blue won this time."  

I was filling out some forms in the security office with the two guards on duty. It was long after hours and very dark out. Heard a "What the F**k?" from a guard and looked up.

A whole bunch of college students, dressed in next to nothing, were whaling on each other with pool noodles.

The fight passed in front of the main doors, into the parking lot, and, finally, one group routed the others out of the area. Guards just sighed and went back to filling out forms. One commented offhand "looks like blue won this time." CynicalAltruist

About an hour later.....

My wife and her co-workers scheduled some fun "olympics" events for their team. One of them was "synchronized office chair swimming," where they choreographed routines of riding around in spinning office chairs.

About an hour later, her friend is chatting it up with security and they are laughing their asses off. They call her over where they are watching the security camera video of synchronized office chair swimming hilariously trying to figure out what these people could possibly be doing. Billionairez

Snog away....

Once had a teenage couple snogging (making out) against the back door where I work, unaware I could see them. Managed to get their attention and they "moved" away but only by a couple of feet. I switched to the back door camera and in my innocence I originally thought the girl was bending down to do up her shoelace...... nope!

Managed to call for the manager over the PA system who came running because I sounded like I was crying (I was crying but with laughter). The look of horror on this poor lads face as the door opened and they were caught will stay with me forever!! The manager and I nearly had heart attacks we laughed that hard. Genuinely the funniest thing we had ever seen! MavisMuriel

The Breach....

I've shared this story before, but my first job out of college I used to work as a electrical engineer for a major security firm (worldwide global, with a lousy reputation), the job was designing cameras, junction boxes, security systems power calculations, etc.

One of my first assignments there was to help write a report about a security breach at a nuclear storage/research facility that was using a security system our company had implemented for them.

To summarize the breach, a group of octogenarian nuns broke into a secure nuclear facility and started painting the storage buildings in their own blood, and we had to review the footage to find out how they breached our security system. The footage was as gnarly as it sounds.

How did they break in? It turns out the site had spent millions on hiring us to design, test, integrate, and train them on a state-of-the-art security system of cameras, motion sensors, microwave detection systems, and fiber optic fence lining, only for them to turn most of it off to save on power/nuisance alarm costs. GlastonBerry48

She scurried away quickly after that.....

Obligatory not a security guard, but one time I was interviewing for a position at a restaurant. They brought me back into the office to get some paperwork done and you could see a feed of the camera at the back entrance of the store. We were just sitting there chatting while I'm filling out forms when suddenly a girl appears on camera.

She then looks around, drops her pants, and pees next to the dumpster. After she was done she looked around again, and then up, and then spotted the camera. She scurried away quickly after that. DwightCharlieQuint

WITH HIS TEETH!!!!!

Back when I was a security guard during my second semester of college I was checking the cctv cameras and this guy was juggling beer bottles the center was close so no one was supposed to be there. I grabbed my walkie and went to check him out when I got to him.

This man was drunk like hell and he was just juggling the bottles I asked him what he was doing and he said "hang one sec" threw all three bottles up and caught two in each hand then proceeded to catch the third one WITH HIS TEETH this guy was hammered and I was shocked and impressed I let him pass out in the break room because he didn't have a phone or wallet on him. And by morning he said thanks and left I wish I had the video to link. MisterMonarch

I hate him! 

Not a security guard, but I kept finding my workstation tampered with when I came in for work (cables unplugged, etc.). I suspected my sociopath supervisor. He didn't realize I knew how to work the security system. What followed was a very amusing video clip of him waiting until everyone else was out of the room, furtively looking around, then reaching back and unplugging the cable on my system.

I set a still from that as the background on our videoconferencing machine on the day I quit. That fool was the reason I had my workstation fully Bitlocker encrypted and equipped with redundant hard drives. WardenWolf

Love.

Not a guard, but have cameras at my house, saw a opossum and a mole getting it on. MrMokele