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Security Guards Reveal The Most Bizarre Thing They Ever Found While Doing A Bag Check.

"I'm just going to close my eyes and pretend like this never happened."

Giphy


1. While working at the airport, I checked a bag that contained an entire dead goat, including the head. Apparently they were off to a burial that night.

Notlandshar

2. I opened up the bag and it was empty.

"Why is this bag empty?" I asked.

The woman who had it couldn't have been older than 30, very beautiful, put together. She looked at me as though she couldn't think for a moment, and said "I just bought the bag, it's new. I'm bringing it back with me."

I looked at the bag. It was scuffed along the side, a few threads had come loose, and looked like it had had some general wear and tear.

"This bag isn't new," I said.

Her face became pale. "It's new from my mother. Passed down. I'm just taking it home."

Her story checked out but for some reason I was still suspicious. I called one of the fellow guards who had a wee drug sniffing pup. The dog took one breath around the bag and immediately started barking.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to inspect your bag."

Yup. The whole inner lining was full with paper thin packets of drugs. I felt pretty chuffed that day.

- Anonymous

3. I work as a baggage handler for a couple airlines in Canada. By far the weirdest came from a guy moving from Victoria to Montreal. His bags included: a regular checked bag, a very large (1.5 meter) taxidermy tuna and a USED toilet.

Oddest mix-up was a guy who was pulled aside in security, taken to a private room by police and CATSA agents to be searched and interrogated about a bomb in his bag. Turns out he wrapped his cell charger around his phone and placed it on top of a Mars bar. Apparently it fits the physical criteria for an organic bomb.

CrudJimWasTaken

4. Approximately $25,000 worth of Magic The Gathering cards.

NoHandsEjac

5. Went through airport with my fiance.

Brought a bunch of toys for fun times because.

My luggage gets pulled aside and a TSA agent walks up to it.

Cue my cheeky grin unrestrained on my face. She opens it, picks out a bad dragon dildo thicker than her forearm and about as long and (Continued)


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She stares at it, not recognizing what it is. Curious, she flips it to the side and rotates it trying to figure out what she has in her hands.

She looks up at me. She sees my grin, looks down at what's in her gloved hands and promptly drops it. She closes the bag and, blushing, says that's all.

Slinkyfest2005

6. Oatmeal. Not like dry oatmeal either, it was an entire suitcase filled with cooked oatmeal. They lined the inside with plastic so that it wouldn't leak.

highschoolblows

7. Three thousand dollars in small, unmarked bills.

Indy_Pendant

8. I have to search clients bags as part of my job. Last spring I was searching a girls bag and all of a sudden I started to hear a buzzing noise. I start searching and searching, dreading what I might find. Dig, dig, dig, buzz, buzz, buzz. What do I find? A tooth brush. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

SuperCuteInJapanese

9. A friend got me a job doing security at a theme park even though I am in no way qualified to be security. I wound up being stuck at the entrance either checking people who couldn't go through the metal detector/beeped when going through the metal detector with the wand or checking bags.

One guy had two pistols on his person and got mad when we told him weapons weren't allowed on the premises. He had a concealed carry permit and thought he should be able to carry there.

[deleted]

10. Worked in a cinema and we had a problem with people filming movies one summer. We had to check people's bags to stop the piracy, one night this woman has a video camera in her bag and (Continued)


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I told her she couldn't take it in the screen. The manager came over and told her he would keep it in the locked office and she could get it after the film finished. End of the night and the woman hasn't collected the camera. So we decide to see what's on the camera.

Hardcore [amateur] sex videos of this women. She never picked it up and the battery died pretty quickly.

NotBane

11. Customs official here. Full animal spine, not professionally butchered, fresh with bits of flesh attached. Being brought in for a personal ceremony. It took four people to restrain the woman when we took it. She reacted like we were holding a knife to her child's throat or something.

Result: I have a curse on me, not the first actually.

CustomsCartman

12. I was checking bags at a concert and I open one up to find a bunch of fish. Yep, they had filled the bag with water and put a bunch of fish in it. Apparently they said they "missed them too much to leave them at home".

Anonymous

13. Found a dildo with what looked like fresh stains.

Evildead818

14. I was going to see the governor give a speech. All our bags had to be searched at the door.

Evidently I'd taken my husband's work bag by accident. His metal measuring tape set the detector off, and they emptied the contents of the bag. What comes out?

A hammer, duct tape, tarp, ammonia, and bleach. Oh. And a ski mask.

(His usual set up for doing maintenance work outside in the dead of winter.)

I had a hell of time explaining that to the police.

ligamentary

15. Used to be a baggage checker for concerts. One time a girl brought in a dildo, but it was (Continued)


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on and recently used...

baenus

16. My family traveled on the 5th of July and my brother used the same bag for carry on that he used the night before for fireworks.. He brought 11 bottle rockets on a 3hr flight in the U.S. (POST 9/11).

We didn't find this out until after we arrived at our destination.

sub_lyme

17. A woman had a suitcase with a clown suit, a jar of pickles, some architecture for dummies book, and about a hundred $50 gift cards to Chik-fil-A. Interesting combo.

spadinskiz

18. One blue crushed velvet suit, one frilly laced cravat, one silver medallion with "male" symbol, one vinyl record album "Burt Bacharach Plays His Hits", one Swedish made penis enlarger pump (he said it wasn't his), one credit card receipt for said penis enlarger, signed by him (he still insisted it wasn't his).

arfool

19. Military TSA (2T2) and was in the desert checking bags for a return trip of polish troops going home from Afghanistan. Commercial contract, so regular TSA guidelines apply. I see a grenade and lock down the whole building. Turns out to be a damn lighter. Idiot tried to bring a lighter shaped like a grenade through an x-ray machine.

ziggyjack

20. A machete. Like, a 5-foot long one. Confiscated (or rather voluntarily handed over after I (Continued)


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after I asked really nicely) from a car with diplomatic plates - it was sitting next to the driver on the passenger seat. No explanation.

Defenestresque

21. I worked at a venue that seats around 15,000 just outside Toronto and what I never saw coming was how much worse the bands/caterers/people-coming-in-through-the-back-entrance were compared to the guests.

A chainsaw hidden in a suspiciously-large guitar case. They said it was part of the act to get the crowd 'pumped'. "NOPE." "Pleaaaase?" "Nope." "Come onnn it would be epic, bro!" "I don't doubt it, but nope. Call our event co-ordinator and she might let you use it if you take the chain off but until then it's staying here"

Defenestresque

22. Former Customs Officer here. Several suitcases completely full of hentai.

Dharm88

23. When I worked for an airline, I had a man bring in a garbage bag full of deer skulls to check in. Another time, while working in the baggage office, I opened a bag to look for identification of some sort, and found a large swarm of flies. The bag was full of mangoes. Mangoes and maggots.

florebo_quo_ferar

24. I worked as airport security for 5 years and I think the weirdest things I've seen are dildos. So not really that exciting. The weirdest thing about that is what person has them in their bags most of the time. It seemed to be old men for the most part.

Also, my friend was on security when they sent a bunch of shipping crates across the border. Nobody detected anything in inspecting them, but turns out the actual crates were made of some harder version of cocaine.

lemaao

25. I work security for a local arena, and one night before a concert, I checked the little purse of a lady who looked to be about 45 years old while her husband stood with his arm around her waist. She opened her purse revealing (Continued)


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She opened her purse revealing 2 condoms and about 5 panty liners. The husband saw that, and immediately took a step to the side.

I've never tried so hard to stifle a laugh in my life.

flyingchinchilla

26. I once found a set of human eye balls in a nice wooden box. The eyes were covered in wax in an attempt to preserve them. Apparently she worked for a research doctor. The research doctor had sent her to Asia to collect them as it was cheaper and easier to that then to fill out the correct import permits.

I_am_a_Painkiller

27. Used to play for a semi-pro traveling soccer team. This was pre 9/11. Had a guy from France on the team who would always bring an extra bag empty except for a 13 inch dildo, balls and all. Never failed - stopped belt, opened bag, cue simultaneous laughter from 15 grown men.

BeckhamSr

28. When my grandparents died, they wanted to be cremated and then have their ashes scattered into the Pacific Ocean near where they had a house. But we lived in New York. so my mom wrapped them both up, in really cheap plastic cremation urns, and put them in her carry on. The airport scanned them, took us both aside into a separate room, swiped the boxes for explosives, and tried to take them. My mom had none of that, and after yelling "you can't confiscate my parents!", we got to keep them and continue on our flight.

scix

29. We found a Japanese guy with a bottle of pure maple syrup taped to his inner thigh in my airport. Apparently it's hard to get in Japan and he knew it was over the size limit to carry on a flight. Pretty damn funny.

BigPaulieEh


30. Not a airport worker but one time when my brothers and i were young we went to Lebanon with my dad, while in the airport for the return flight my brother forgot to mention that he bought a very real looking bb pistol that has naked girls drawn all over it. Anyways while they were x raying our bags the security officer opened my brothers bag and took out the gun and looked at us and said what is this. I will never forget the look on my dads face, he just looked at us and said ill meet you inside the plane and walked away. We spent 10 minutes trying to convince them to let us have it back but it didn't work and we didn't want to be late for the flight. Little bro was very sad that day.

z-fly

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.