Security Camera Operators Reveal The Weirdest Things They've Caught Someone Doing[rebelmouse-image 18359619 is_animated_gif=
In 9th grade, I decided to try to be cute and wear heels to school for the first time. At the very center of the school was a large, wide ramp between the first and second floors. This wasn't a side ramp, at this school it was pretty much the main thoroughfare. When classes switched, the ramp would be flooded with hundreds of students. It also happened to empty out into the cafeteria, which meant there were security cameras all over the place.
Remember that, it's about to be important.
Getting UP the ramp was fine. Heels, awkwardness, and a heavy backpack were too much when it was time to go back down that ramp, though. I collapsed and tumbled with all the grace of a newborn water buffalo. The ramp was packed, so the chain reaction I caused was... um ... not small.
To make things worse, I couldn't even get up gracefully. My long skirt wrapped itself around my legs like a fabric death-burrito and my strappy heels had staged a rebellion. They were stuck there on the sides of my feet. Guys, I don't even know how to explain this. My bare feet were flat on the floor and my heels were tied - TIED- to the sides of my feet like shame rockets!
I looked like I got struck by lightning. Everyone was either glaring or laughing. All the security cameras were pointed at the ramp because of course they were.
It took me a literal decade to live it down and I guarantee the security footage is saved somewhere, in hi-def, from multiple angles. So when one reddit user asked:
You'd better believe I clicked it. Just in case, you know? There was no sign of my greatest High School moment of glory, but I did find a ton of other stuff that made me laugh and feel better about myself.
Nonchalant Pizza Theif[rebelmouse-image 18349654 is_animated_gif=
I didn't catch him in the act, but I watched a guy steal my pizza.
I was working the night shift on a Friday night and ordered pizza for my lunch. I had leftovers which I put in the staff-room fridge so I could have it for lunch the next day.
Saturday evening I come in to work, I work until lunch time, then go to grab my pizza only to discover that it is gone. WTF!? So I check the camera feed.
During the day some random guy came into our office, went to the staff-room, and stole my pizza. He just walked out of the building carrying the pizza box and the day shift guy didn't even notice.
The Barrier[rebelmouse-image 18359620 is_animated_gif=
The company had refurbished the car park, which used to have an all-access footpath running through it. There was no legal right of way there, so they got rid of the footpath, and put up signs saying it was private property etc.
This didn't stop a middle-aged lady who cycled through every day, and regularly damaged parked cars with her bike when she squeezed through narrow gaps. The alternative route was literally 50 yards out of her way to go around the car park rather than through it.
So, bigger signs go up. This is PRIVATE LAND, NO ACCESS etc. As part of that, they install an automatic barrier. To get into or out of the car park, you have to beep your company ID badge on a sensor, the barrier raises, and you can drive through.
Cyclist lady just ignores everything. Cycles up to the new barrier, and WHAM, her bike goes under it, and she doesn't. She gets up, walks up to her bike and cycles off again, up the road.
The next day, they're investigating damage to the barrier, and have a look at the CCTV. They can't believe she hasn't seen the bright red and white barrier. While they're reviewing the CCTV, she comes in again from the other direction, and WHAM. Exactly the same thing happens again.
They run out to check she's OK. She refuses all help, and runs away with her bike. She knows she's not supposed to be going through here, and has now made the same mistake twice. She now goes around the car park instead of through it.
Date With Her Parole Officer[rebelmouse-image 18359621 is_animated_gif=
Worked as an assistant manager for a grocery retailer. Store is closing and few employees left. I'm finishing paperwork and happen to look up at the monitor displaying 16 different cameras.
The one in the deli caught my eye because I happened to notice the deli employee filling a sink. Didn't think anything of it an kept on going with my work. Looked at the time and was thinking, okay everyone should be out. Look through the cameras and see the girl in the deli... Bathing in the sink.
Dread comes over me. F^ck... What do I do....
I wait until she's done, burn the video, sterilize the sink, bleach the sink, pour boiling water over the sink, and scrub it until my hands hurt, then leave the store in night crews hands.
Next morning, speak with the store manager and show him the video. Pull the girl upstairs and let her go for violating all sorts of health and safety violations.
Turns out, her water was turned off and she needed to bathe for her date... With her parole officer the next morning.
Things people do when they think others aren't watching.
Dry Humping[rebelmouse-image 18359622 is_animated_gif=
I used to monitor cameras for a very high-end car dealership. One day while checking the connection (test 3x daily, only really look when an alarm goes off after hours) I managed to catch a man dry-humping a Bugatti Veyron and subsequently being dragged away by their security guard.
BMX[rebelmouse-image 18359623 is_animated_gif=
Not me , but my girlfriend. She works as a security guard at an old mall that sadly only has about four business still inside. Well one day she texts me while at work and tells me there is a group of teenagers riding their bikes throughout the mall. A few minutes later I get a video of the security cameras and sure enough there is a group of kids riding bmx bikes inside the mall.
Random Candle[rebelmouse-image 18352960 is_animated_gif=
My old job was on a busy boulevard with an alley in the back. We had an open garage with access to said alley.
But what took the cake is one morning around maybe 7-8AM a man was walking by through the alley, stops suddenly, goes into our garage, lights a candle, and sets it there by the wall and walks away. It was so odd getting there and seeing a randomly lit candle. Checking the footage only left us with more questions.
Abandoning His Post[rebelmouse-image 18359624 is_animated_gif=
I'm the security supervisor overnight at a food dye processing plant. I sit in a guard shack and watch upwards of 20 camera feeds at a time. One night, one of my officers, who is posted up at the other side of the facility, walks away from his shack and goes to an area behind one of the buildings, out of the way. He apparently thought there weren't any cameras watching that particular area, because he wasn't there for a minute before some lady arrived and they started having sex, right there.
When they were done, she left and he went right back to his post. He had no idea I saw the whole thing. I didn't talk to him about it, but I called my operations manager over in the office the next morning and told him about it. The officer wasn't fired. He was transferred, however. When an officer can be fired for being late, they should be fired for abandoning their post to meet with a lady of the night.
Sock Puppet[rebelmouse-image 18359625 is_animated_gif=
I was managing a fast food restaurant at a rest stop on the highway. I had access to all of the cameras, inside and out, including one pointed right at the exit to enter back onto the highway. This guy was trying to merge back onto the highway in the middle of rush hour. He had been sitting there so long, waiting for someone to let him in that he just pulled out a little hand puppet and started yelling at traffic with it.
Personal Dance Floor[rebelmouse-image 18359626 is_animated_gif=
I used to work security at a stadium got rotated into the gift shop team pretty chill basically loss prevention. Boss put's me on camera's one day, I'm watching the store and notice the upper left camera is basically shooting down on like an 8 foot by 8 foot box seemingly. I just cant place it in my head where the camera is. Then one of the cashiers pops out a door you can't see on camera for smoke break. Lanky dude. Suddenly he busts into thriller. Perfectly following the routine, since there was no sound I don't know if he was singing, next smoke break he took, flash dance. Dude just wanted to dance and found a personal dance floor. Only one other employee went out there and she just stood there smoking and staring at the wall.
Fat Beach Cat[rebelmouse-image 18359627 is_animated_gif=
It was 4am and I was watching one of the cameras located at the beach. I watched a frazzled middle aged lady in her night gown hobble around with a fat cat in her arms for an hour. I thought she was sleep walking or something, so I was gonna to call a guard down to check on her but she went home clutching that cat.
Haunted Storage[rebelmouse-image 18359628 is_animated_gif=
Worked security at a large hotel chain. Part of my job was to keep track of storage room visits, by kitchen staff and other employees. There was a camera watching the big metal door of the storage room. One day as I returned to my office I noticed the storage room door was open, which was odd because only I had keys for it and I hadn't opened it that day. I checked the camera and on film I caught the door slowing opening by itself! No one was there and no way the wind could unlock a heavy metal door. Showed my boss and he told me not to mention it. Although word got out and some of the more superstitious employees avoided the storage room.
There had been 2 suicides that previous year, some said it was related to them.
Seemingly Normal Poop Lady[rebelmouse-image 18359629 is_animated_gif=
I worked in a supermarket, not as security but well one day stocking shelves my manager and I noticed a strange smell, we couldn't find the source so kept working.
A couple of hours later and it was still hanging around, eventually we emptied the last trolley of stock which had been sitting in an aisle for a while (small supermarket) and we found a blob of human poop on a box of cat food, and then two or three more on the shelves next to the trolley.
We checked the cameras and there was this seemingly normal 50 something year old lady, walked in, put a few things in her basket, then started walking / waddling oddly down the pet food aisle and then all of a sudden just casually reached into the back of her pants, pulled som poop out, chucked it on the stock trolley, walked another few paces and did the same then from memory she even proceeded through the checkout and out of the store.
The manager asked me to clean it up to which I offered my immediate resignation (as a joke, he was my mate but there was no way I was dealing with that) so he had to clean it up and we ended up throwing out a lot of stock and most of the fruit and veg stock.
I've told so many people this story, I still find it so bizarre to this day.
Rocket Chair[rebelmouse-image 18359630 is_animated_gif=
Worked IT for a company. One day, a lot of the head managers of this certain department come barging into my office demanding I pull some footage, serious as hell. I think somebody is about to get fired so I start scrubbing through footage. Finally I get to what they want me to see. One of their team leads is rocketing through the office on an office chair when it gets stuck on something in the carpet and she gets EJECTED out of her seat. She must have landed like 10 feet from her chair. As soon as the scene happens, the group of managers bust out laughing their asses off. I nearly pissed my pants laughing, I had never been asked to pull camera footage of something so funny.
The best part is the girl just laid on the carpet for a while everybody around her in the room collapse with laughter.
The Casino[rebelmouse-image 18349661 is_animated_gif=
Worked casino surveillance for several years - so I have a lot of stories.
Saw a couple get it on in a crowded bar. I saw a guy get stabbed, and saw two people get hit by speeding cars. I saw a lot of people vomit, saw a lot of people pee - especially in the elevators. Saw a drunk guy trip on an escalator, catch himself on the side, then slide down a 50 foot moving rail, spinning the whole time, then land on his feet without spilling his drink. I watched people cheat at blackjack and various carnival games.
I saw a casino cashier stuff two hundred dollar bills in his sock. He was arrested. I saw a waitress twerking upside down in the well, she slipped and landed face first on the tile and was unconscious for about 20 seconds. I saw a kitchen worker slice her hand while cutting lemons - blood everywhere. She wrapped it in a towel and continued cutting the lemons with the same knife. She put the finished lemons in the fridge then went for medical attention.
That was a fun job.
Ice Rink Mid-Act[rebelmouse-image 18359631 is_animated_gif=
I worked in IT for a resort that had an ice rink. Two guests decided to bone in the middle of said rink at like 1 in the morning. Thing is, those cameras are motion detecting because it's dangerous. Security office immediately gets an alarm if they detect anything. So security had to go up there while they were mid act and ask them to not....
Pool Noodle Violence[rebelmouse-image 18359632 is_animated_gif=
Saw a guy once get out of our pool, he dries off and is carrying his pool noodle. He does the look around, sees he's alone, then starts smacking it against the floor. He folded it in half and then starts punching it. He then twists it and tries to punt it. It untwists and flops to the ground so he missed. He goes to pick it up, doesn't get a good grip, stands up and it's not in his hand. Picks it up, tries to punt it again, flops to the floor as he missed again. Then he picks it up and just hurls it into the pool. He stands there for a second, has a look of defeat, goes back into the pool, fishes it out, dries off and proceeds towards the locker room.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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