You're putting a lot of faith into a person during a secret Santa. You have to hope they'll take the assignment seriously and then actually go through with buying the gift. And some people really fail somewhere along the way...
u/greenbagmaria asked:
Secret Santas of Reddit, whats the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever?
Here were some of the answers.
Re-Gifted Cookies
GiphyI did a secret Santa with a club at my school. The budget was around $35. For my person, I went all out and basically got them a bunch of items they wanted and listed down on their paper. The person who had me gave me a takeout box filled with broken cookies. Worst part, those cookies were leftovers that she took back home from our Thanksgiving party we had a few weeks ago...
Legalized Jerks
I went to a high school church gift exchange, and this kid who considered himself a poet scribbled a poem on the back of a Walgreens receipt. To add insult to injury, he "wrapped" it in another Walgreens receipt. Nobody realized it was a gift until the end, when one poor girl thought she got left out. Imho, she would have been better getting left out.
When she opened it, the guy kept telling the whole crowd how he had been working on the poem in his head for a while, and how lucky the girl who opened it was. He made her read it to the whole room, and the cringe was tangible. He had opened a Nerf gun earlier, and would shout when people tried to steal it from him (perfectly within the rules). His dad was the preacher, so nobody felt like they could do anything.
We never had another gift exchange.
Why Do I Try?
I found a lego christmas set, still in box, from the year the giftee was born. They collected lego, and mentioned that sometimes they just collect them in box and keep them MIB, so I thought it would be a fun gift. Miraculously managed to stay under budget, except for shipping.
They also managed to get me, and didn't get me anything. It would have been forgettable, except they kept bringing it up every week or so, until they finally 'bought me lunch' by bringing in an energy drink and a bag of chips.
Non-Reciprocal
At one of the schools I used to work at, it was basically tradition that you participated in Secret Santa, both staff and students. But the main thing was that this school apparently "transcended the boundaries" or some deep quote shit, because you could be matched with anyone. Teachers with students, students with students, students with the janitor, anything. So, for 3 years I got students I didn't even know, and got them stuff based on asking around.
One year, I got matched with a student in one of my 11th grade classes. Score, the kid was a known HUGE Pokémon fan. After a week of prodding around, listening in on conversations in class and walking by during breaks, I finally heard him telling a friend that he really wanted a ditto plushie. Boom, it was within our set budget (30$) so I got it.
The kid was ecstatic. I got a bottle of "Liquid *ss Fart Spray".
Should Be Banned
GiphyI have a friend who is terrible at gift giving. He is so absent minded and last minute about things like this, and also refuses to care about 'materialistic things'. Which good for him, but if you're participating in a SS you are supposed to be thoughtful to your giftee. It's not about you.
Anyway.
The first time we run SS, he gifts his giftee a full boiled egg. The worst part is he passed it to her prior to be gift exchange so she ate it (while waiting for dinner) and only found out later that was her "gift".
The second year he gave his giftee a book in a language she doesn't read. It was most certainly a book he plucked off his shelf.
The third year, he gave her a coffee tasting experience (his friend owns a cafe). She doesn't drink coffee.
This year.... we'll see. We've all warned him to put effort etc.
Serving Tray Disappears
Place where I used to work did one of those gift giving games where you either got to pick a new present or steal one from someone else. It was a hideous idea, but all the presents were just goofy little things.
I had the last number, so basically my pick of any gift. Right from the early stages, I joked that I'd be taking the "dogs playing poker" serving tray. People kept stealing it back and forth, it became a running joke throughout the whole game.
When it got to the end, I did exactly as I said and went and took the box that had the serving tray in it. That person got up and picked whatever the last remaining gift was, seemed satisfied.
Later, after they'd left the party, I went to open the box with the serving tray in it and found our they'd only given me the empty box, had hidden the tray in their coat, and taken two presents.
Even the next workday after the party, that person was all like, "hahaha! got you! you got an empty box, dumb*ss!"
The Late Gift
In high school we did secret santas. One year the quirky boy in the group had me. He didnt have the gifts on hand the day we exchanged, so I was literally sitting there at lunch giftless while everyone opened theirs. He brought mine in a week later and it was basically an assortment of Christmas home decor: a santa ornament, some weird crucifix, and I forget what else. It occurred to me years later that he probably couldn't afford an actual gift.
It Just Needed To Be Pens
It was a $20 CAD budget and my recipient asked for earrings. I spent the day in my downtown area looking at shops before settling on a pair I was cut a good deal on. It cost me $19.99 before tax.
I asked for a set of pens. Nothing fancy, just a set of pens I needed for school. I got a $2 Daiso turkey Christmas hat I wouldn't be caught dead in and a package of toilet paper my secret Santa probably just straight got from her bathroom cupboard.
No Coordination
Probably over ten years ago now, in middle school, I coordinated a secret Santa in my friend group. So of course I went hard af and got my secret santa a great gift (within the budget limit- around $15 iirc) The time comes to swap gifts, and one girl announces she got everyone a small something- I can't remember exactly what but I think it was like a small pencil and notepad (probably about $1 each.) I thought that was sweet.
Turns out she had me for secret Santa, and didn't get me anything bedsides what she also gave to everyone else, so essentially I got nothing. I don't actually care, I'm just floored at how clueless some people can be. Never coordinated a SS again though.
It's Only Been Half A Decade
GiphyWe had a gift exchange several years ago between my wife's cousins and all of their significant others. The guy I was gifting for is a lot like me and is into board games and beer (among other things). I was able to find a game that normally ran for $75+ dollars on sale for $50 ($50 limit for our exchange). In addition, I made him a double growler carrier using my woodworking tools and spare lumber in my garage, so practically free aside from my time investment of about 8 hours or so. It turned out pretty nice and professional looking and I was really proud of the overall gifts.
The person who was supposed to bring a gift for me ended up not showing up to the Xmas celebration and promised to send me a gift. After 5 years, I am beginning to think I won't be seeing that gift.
Redditor JasperMidnight wanted to hear all the things we've heard that left us in shock, so they asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard someone say that they were 100% serious about?"
Sometimes I want to faint when I hear people speak.
Leo Lives! Then Dies!
Leonardo Dicaprio Ok GIFGiphy"English teacher here. Once, while showing my class the Leonardo DiCaprio version of 'Romeo and Juliet,' I had a student staring at the screen in utter confusion for half the movie before she said, 'How can he be in this movie? He died on the Titanic.'"
BlakeMP
Turn Around
"At one of my first jobs as a graphic designer, a client called me into his office and pulled up a photo he took. He then asked me if I could turn it around. No, not rotate it, but turn the viewpoint around. He wanted to see what was behind the camera when he originally took the photo. God, I have so many stories from that job."
HerNameIsRain
Change Direction
"A guy I work with said that a football referee runs over the distance of a marathon during a game. I pointed out that a football game was only 90 minutes long and that the marathon record was just over two hours so that would be impossible. He said it was possible, because a football referee 'changes direction a lot during a game, and it all adds up.'”
tommyhashbrown
Time Zones
"Someone I know argued with me that I do not live anywhere near Canada. He got pretty nasty about it too."
"When I showed him proof he said 'Well I only know Texas.'"
"I live right outside of Detroit, Michigan. Closer to Canada than I am to any other state."
"I have also had a few people argue with me that I do not live in the Eastern time zone. I guess they know better than someone who actually lives here."
msspider66
BRO!
Nbc GIF by SunnysideGiphy"'Yeah bro, it says carbonated because they removed the carbs' while standing in line at a drugstore. Best eavesdrop of my life."
sigmaswan35
Carbs aren't the issue we make them out to be.
They are our friends.
Back then...
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"I was on a date at an art museum. The painting tag said who it was made by the title and made Circe 1600 and she said 'Do you think the earth was even around back then? You just never really know.'"
hi_im_watson
Every Thanksgiving
"I was stationed in Germany in the late 80’s-90’s. Every Thanksgiving multiple dudes would be perplexed as to why the Germans didn’t celebrate. A dude once told me he was excited to celebrate the 4th with the Germans and asked if they did fireworks. I love you my brothers, but some of you are dumb."
420stoner332
"When I was in Germany on a rotation they actually put on an incredible fireworks display for us. So did the Afghans (who used flares from their lil lookout thingies around the fob) when I was deployed. I was astonished and then extremely touched in both scenarios."
LavishnessFew7882
Really Real.
"When I was a kid (and on and off when I was older, until after it was decommissioned) my dad worked at a nuclear power plant. I was mentioning this to a college-aged coworker at one point (I think I was telling a story about taking your daughter to work day or something) and the coworker stops me. 'Wait, those are really real?'"
'I stopped talking, at a loss for words. I then had her repeat what she wanted to know. 'Nuclear power plants are actually real things? I thought they were made up for like The Simpsons.'"
bestem
Thanks, Mr. Murphy
"In college, my teaching assistant in my dinosaur class insisted that roadrunners weren’t real and laughed at me for suggesting it as an answer for a bird that runs fast. But the real dummy was me because I’ve seen one in real life and I still said oh ok."
natsugrayerza
"In grade 6 my class read a poem about ptarmigans where every word starting with 't' was changed to 'pt'. The teacher said that ptarmigans were made-up animals. I countered that they were a type of arctic bird, so he sent me to the school library to find evidence."
"I came back with an encyclopedia and turned to the entry for Ptarmigan and he read it out to the class and told everyone that teachers don't know everything and they should never be afraid to speak up. One of the best teachers I ever had - thanks, Mr. Murphy!"
TheMightyGoatMan
Multiplies...
paul muffins GIF by Big BrotherGiphy"'Blueberry muffins you buy premade don't have any blueberries in them. Blueberries cost too much. They dye bleeds blue because they have the same texture and use them.' He has 'explained' it to multiple people multiple times."
By0z
BAD
"Maybe too obscure but anyway I was the radiation safety office for our lab group many years ago and was telling one of our more truly brilliant (not being sarcastic) PhDs that his badge came up hot, meaning his technique was BAD and he was going to have to be retrained and he said, 'It doesn't affect me, I'm done having my children.' Like being careless with radioactive isotopes can only affect your gonads and not, IDK, give you f**king cancer."
feliciates
Some people really need to think harder before they speak.
This piece is proof.
Do you have any stories to add? let us know in the comment below.
"Reddit. What will you never order at a restaurant?"
Not What, But When...
"I'll never order 10 minutes before closing."- bearstrugglethunder
Speaking From Experience
"Ice in my drink."
"After decades in the industry, I've only ever seen one change the ice machine filters and clean the bin regularly."-Anna_Namoose
"I have almost twenty years of experience managing bars and restaurants."
"What do you think I won't get? "
"Stylish or not?"
"Ice."
"In everything."
"I can assure you that I have saw far more appalling ice machines in back of houses than immaculate ones."- Tricky_Routine138
ice waiting GIF by tarninabarnGiphyStay Consistent
"Anything outside of what their core business is."
"Not ordering fish at a steakhouse, a burger at a Mexican restaurant etc."- KinkyPTDoc
Why Pay For What You Can Make Yourself?
"Quesadilla."
"I'm not paying for tortillas and cheese."
"I always have that sh*t at home."- DGex
"Pasta."
"I can make it at home, I'm a decent cook and can make most pasta dishes at home."
'I eat out to have foods I can't make."
'I'm usually disappointed when I do order it."- bensmom2020
"Tuna fish sandwich."- Limp-Persimmon-5729
"A grilled cheese sandwich."
"There's just no way a restaurant can elevate it to make it worth the cost."- manderifffic
Hungry Grilled Cheese GIF by U by Kotex BrandGiphyCasear, Cobb, Waldorf...NOPE!
"Salad."
"It’s so cheap to buy the ingredients and most restaurant salad comes from a bag."
"It’s just dumb in 85% of the cases."- humancalculus
"$17+ salad."- Monowakari
Split It, Maybe?
"Oh, I've got a good one."
"Do not order the lasagna if you visit Brio Tucsan Grille."
"It's not awful, fantastic, or extraordinary; it's just normal."
"But why, you say, would you advise against eating a typical meal?"
"Considering that it contained 5200 calories. calories for two days."
"When I removed empty dishes from the table in front of guests, I would shudder."- KeyPersimmon445
If You Can't See The Sea, Maybe Avoid Seafood...
"In a location not known for its seafood, lobster."
"Where are they going to get lobster, anyway?"- WillingnessInner9666
"Rocky Mountain Oysters."- Rollin_Soul_O
Eight Is A Few Too Many Legs...
"Anything cephalopod."- FarewellMyQueen
Pbs Nature Sea GIF by Nature on PBSGiphyUnless They Pick The Leaves Themselves...
"Tea."
'Compared to how much it costs to make at home, it's stupidly overpriced at restaurants."- Pure_Block_5309
There's nothing wrong with being a picky eater.
That being said, it's always worth trying something new before deciding you don't like it.
Even if no one should blame you for refusing to order sushi at a pizza counter.
"People who slept with a coworker, what happened after?"
Well, That's A Success?
"We became friends and she donated a kidney to me lol."- Headbobby
As If Nothing Had Changed...
"Got married 2 years later."
"'Co-worker' can mean different things and different circumstances, for instance:"
"Our company had 130,000 employees world-wide."
"Our group was housed in a building with 1,000 employees."
"We were not in each other's chain of command."
"It could have been somewhat awkward if it did not work out, but not awful."
"It did work out."
"Later on, saved money by carpooling!"- SyntheticOne
The Office Laughing GIF by NBCGiphyJust Couldn't Fight The Chemistry
"We were both working as actors in a small film, cast as romantic leads."
"She noticed I got tense when we had to kiss... and suggested we go on a date to practice kissing."
"We played mini-golf and practiced kissing."
"Then we continued practicing in her car in the parking lot after the mini-golf place closed until a cop came to investigate."
"Then we got a hotel room and practiced other stuff."
'I guess I'm a slow learner because she's still giving me remedial lessons."- Jake_Science
Nothing Personal, One Hopes..
"She had to fire me."
"Poor performance."- bilvester
Consider Long Term Goals First
"Fun."
"Highly recommend if you have a job."
"Do not recommend if you have a career."- bluegiant85
Renee Zellweger Office GIF by Working TitleGiphyOn To Bigger And Better Things
"Dated discreetly and after four years we got engaged."
"We then both told our supervisors we were leaving in the summer."
"At our last meeting as they were doing their good bye lunch for both of us with about 30 coworkers, they had us say a few words."
"I went first and said I was moving to a new city."
"Then it was my fiancés turn and she said she was also moving to that city, with me, because we’re engaged."
"It was glorious."
"We are happily married for 13 years and have an awesome daughter."
"Life is goooood."- lmc227
Jealous Much?
"I had a supervisor that I really hit it off with and had great chemistry."
"As soon as they found out we were dating, she got fired and immediately found a better job."
"We've been married for almost 13 years now."
"I feel I should clarify a little bit while still keeping the details as vague as possible because quite a few people worked there."
"She was my boss in the sense that if she told me something needed taken care of, I was expected to take care of it."
"She didn't actually have the power to fire me if our relationship went south, but she probably could have gotten me fired if she had been that type of person."
"We worked there for two years before anything remotely physical happened."
"Our lunch breaks lined up."
"After a few conversations, we became friendly and started spending most of that hour shooting the sh*t with each other."
"I was crushing on her hard, but didn't think she'd be interested in dating one of the janitors, so I didn't say anything in an effort not to make things weird at work."
"One day I let it slip to one of the other janitors that I had a crush on her."
"He thought it would be hilarious to immediately go and tell her what I said."
"The next day, she asked me if I had really said that."
"I was really embarrassed but admitted that I had said it."
"She basically told me she was feeling the same way and gave me her number."
"11 months later, we were married."
"There were two guys in upper management that had asked her out and been rejected."
"Their egos obviously took a hit when they found out she chose me."
"She was fired after being blamed for someone else's mistake."
"Then they refused to show the proof that she was the one responsible."
"It was bullsh*t, but it only took her two weeks to find a job that paid a lot more."
"Once they did that to her, I immediately became a terrible employee and openly talked sh*t about everyone in management until they really had no choice but to fire me."- Imahorrible_person
Nothing Lost, Nothing Gained
"We did it a couple of times then both went on with our lives."
"It was just something we both wanted to do temporarily."
"Neither one of us wanted it to be serious or long-term, and so it wasn’t."- Listening_Heads
No Regrets Whatsoever
"We moved in together, got engaged, bought a house and had a baby."
"Don't let a job get in the way of your life."- AllSonicGames
Who'd Have Guessed...
"I slept with my boss back in 93."
"She instigated it."
"She’s sitting beside me."
"30 years later and two adult kids."
"Worked out!"
"I should add we did NOT care for each other at first. It was definitely not a case of 'will they, won’t they' but more of a 'will he quit or won’t he?'"
"Funny how life works."- Uncle_Bug_Music
Proceed With Caution
"Fun while it lasted, but very awkward after."- BrianH-84
Love cannot, and should not be denied, even if it is a coworker.
Anyone looking for a one and done, however, might want to look beyond the walls of your office.
Unless you like constantly being reminded of your past mistakes.