Seasoned Teachers Share The Most Intense Parents They've Had To Deal With
As a teacher, you deal with a lot of kids on a daily basis, which means you also have to answer to all of their parents. Parents of students can be pushy and overbearing when dealing with their child's education, but at the same time provide some of the best stories for teachers to tell.
madness2135 asks:
Teachers of Reddit- who's the craziest parent you've ever encountered?
How crazy do these parents get?
It's never too early to start preparing
I was a kindergarten teacher when during a parent teacher conference a father asked me what I was doing to prepare his 5 year old son for the SATs.
I tried to come up with a serious answer and told him that we've been coloring a lot in art class, and that this should help develop his dexterity for filling in the bubbles on a scantron.
Ouch, and gross
School nurse here. Had a girl with nasty case of head lice that went on for months. Called the parent a dozen times. Parent didn't see what the problem was and refused to treat her. The girl got tired of being teased about it and had a fellow classmate shave her head in the locker room. Parent called to yell at me for "ruining" her daughter and accused me of shaving the kid.
Those are some serious words
Woman straight up tried to get me fired. Screamed at my boss in front of my students, scaring them. Said I was taking away his autonomy and stifling his creativity.
Yikes!
Art teacher here. I had a student's mom accuse me of being racist because I asked the kids not to use black or brown colors on their assignment. It was a 2nd grade color blending assignment.
Now this is a special one...
I teach fifth grade. Evidently a parent came to my principal recently because when we group the fourth graders into class, she wants her daughter in any class but mine. Under no circumstances is her kid to be placed with me. The reasoning behind it being that I have large breasts which will hurt her 10 year old daughter's self esteem.
Sometimes parents don't accept the whole truth
Had a parent accuse the school of discriminating against his son because his son spoke mostly Russian and that's why his son was having issues at school.
I speak fluent Russian and helped translate for their son. His son was having issues because he kept pushing kids and hitting them.
This is extreme
A parent who blamed me for her son's inattention in class because I wore a red jumper. He was very sensitive to red and it messed with his aura or some such.
When things get way to personal and very uncomfortable
Racist dad didn't like the fact that I am mixed race, so he threatened me at the school gates with his Rottweiler.
There is also a serious lack of interest in children's schooling from parents
Halfway into a parent's meeting, the mother realized that we were speaking about her youngest daughter, not the son.
This actually doesn't sound that unreasonable...
Someone seeking Mandarin Chinese lessons for their 6 month old. Not kidding. I wish I was.
When the parents make you run and hide
I had this kid who was relatively bright, but absolutely clueless and hated at turning assignments in; as a result, he was often failing. Well, beginning of the school year, the parent flip out and decide that I must be the worst teacher in the world. Stalked my social media and LinkedIn, somehow got ahold of a bunch of other parent emails and started s***-talking about how I was brand new and incompetent (it was my 2nd year) and making really specific references to my previous job history. Principal sat down in a meeting with the parent, and the parent tried to act like none of it had ever happened. Eventually they just pulled their kid from the school; nothing was ever resolved. It was after that incident that I decided to shut down all of my social media. Just not worth the trouble.
These kids are not messing around
My mother, who is a teacher, once told me of a coworker of hers who punished a student for misbehaving or something. The student went home and told his older brother. Older brother came to school the next day and poured battery acid over the teachers car, presumably as a warning.
Who K.O.s a teacher!?
My boy Tyler (4th grader) had a dad that was taking roids and was also into cage fighting. He came after school once cause he wanted beef with me because I graded Tyler with a C on his essay. Suffise to say I stood by the grade I gave the boy and his dad escalated things until we got in an altercation. He knocked me out but he was taken away after that.
Control freak?
My lead teacher was handing out M&M's to reward the children for writing their letters correctly. She gave Luke, this lady's son, two brown M&M's.
The next day this lady storms in and gets her husband to come at my lead about how irresponsible and unhealthy this practice was. They send our supervisor a five paragraph text pushing her to get fired, ranting about how she put Luke in danger, and then condescendingly offering to provide "healthy snacks" since my lead was incapable of doing so and was trying to get Luke to have a reaction. Apparently. A similar response happened when the class was given pudding as a treat.
Oh dear!
Not a teacher, but my sister had a set of parents who still believed in the whole "left hand = devil's hand" thing. When conferencing with them, they kept saying "We're still working on his motor delay"
despite months earlier at the same conference she kept trying to explain to the parents that he is simply left handed. "we keep trying to get him to use his right hand"
That's just unnecessary
I had my rain stick threatened to be taken away because it is offends the Native American culture.
Rain sticks are from South America.
How friendly!
I once had a parent teacher conference where the parent came in and never spoke a word to me. She never said hi or anything, just came in, sat across from me and stared right into my eyes the entire time.
Oh snap!
Met this guy at the bar. Went home, told me I was the perfect combination of sexy and cute, then never called me again wtf.
Few days later was the PTA meeting, turns out this guy was the parent of one of my students and HAD A WIFE.
Military mom style
It was the first day of camp and another counselor's mom was helping him move in his stuff like a lot of parents do. Now for context these cabins get used about 3 maybe 4 weeks out of the year and are then locked up. These cabins are not bad for being cabins used by a camp this small. She saw the cabin and flipped out! She complained it was filthy and had every single person she could find help clean it up until it was spotless. it would of made a drill Sargent proud.
forget tying to communicate, just get them fired!
Not me, but a Chem teacher I'm currently a TA for.
She's had multiple parents call her racist, sexist, etc. She's equally "miserable" to everybody (not really miserable but strict and would rarely budge on her policies). Her best story was how a parent brought one of these absurd accusations straight to the school board, not the principal, not the superintendent.
Knowing how to comfort someone is a skill that not everybody has. In fact, some of us outright suck at it.
It doesn't make you a bad person - maybe you're awkward under pressure, or uncomfortable, or didn't have healthy models of empathy. Maybe you just panic and don't know what to do.
Thanks, Teach!
<p>"So, have they found someone new yet?"</p><p>One of my parents died. My parents had been married twenty-five years. A teacher asked me this question five months after the funeral.</p><p>She later told my surviving parent that my depression was because I had to share a room sometimes with a sibling. Not because of my dead parent.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkpycyo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wzzz11124</a></p>A Music Career
<p>At my boyfriend's funeral a girl he went to high school with came up to me and tried to comfort me by saying she knew "exactly" how I was feeling because she was in love with him too. </p><p>They never dated, they weren't even friends after graduating high school. </p><p>Now she's made a music career from writing sad love songs about him that make it sound like they were together.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqc9vi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">h3llbaby-ri</a></p>Happy Birthday!
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU0MTkwNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1ODUyODIyMn0.KCvddvC-hOTRNU4I2h9XB4EiNJbqtIb6tUIVycrcrcs/img.gif?width=980" id="92b5a" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="64cf90889116269bc1889f71eb3e6b8d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="400" />Episode 4 Birthday GIF by FriendsGiphy<p>A few years ago, I caught pneumonia, and a stomach virus at the same time. Needless to say, I was really really sick. I was in the hospital for 9 days, and one of those days happened to be my 27th birthday. </p><p>One of my aunts that I don't really know was in town, and wanted to come visit. When she got there, she gave me a card for my birthday, which was nice, but when I read it, it said "since this looks like it'll be your last birthday, I'll say my goodbyes now LOL".</p><p>Now, I'm all for dark humor, but at that point I'd already lost 14 pounds from throwing up, I had a 104 degree fever for multiple days, I was delirious and hallucinating, and hadn't slept in days. I was in legitimate fear that I was actually going to die. </p><p>Told my mom after I was better that I didn't want to see that aunt ever again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkq388v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">floridas_lostboy</a></p>The Original Owner Of The Book
<p>People say and do some weird sh*t in attempts to comfort others. Myself included. </p><p>But the biggest stand out was when my mother was first diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer (she is doing great now). She received a second hand book called <em>Cooking and Coping with Cancer</em>. </p><p>The original owner of the book didn't need it anymore ... because he died of cancer. So his wife thought my mom would like it. </p><p>The intention was kind, but it was just a bit depressing.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkq1o5i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">theWildBore</a></p>Prosperity Gospel
<p>When I had my first miscarriage, husband and I were attending a Word of Faith type church.</p><p>Their words of "encouragement" were that our baby had died because of some hidden/un-repent sin in my life + my faith wasn't strong enough, and I should just keep praying.</p><p>You would think that a church of all places would embrace you in your suffering and loss. These guys (& gals..) just kind of out-casted us like we would bring them bad luck. </p><p>It was a weird time, and after that I found it hard to hang out with any of them or believe most of what they were teaching.</p><p>We went on to have a healthy little girl and found a much less toxic church, but to this day if anyone mentions the prosperity gospel to me I have a lot of things to say.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqn5h6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannakantplay</a></p>No Dogs Go To Heaven
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU0MTkwMy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjgwMjM4Mn0.AuV3wZdpHdnZSjeGtJK2DWK_hr8pygOYakH_V79ykXE/img.gif?width=980" id="1965e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="48868a6f58dfdb14fca6a48cd28e590a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="245" data-height="138" />don bluth 80s GIFGiphy<p>My wife and I got a dog back before we were married. GREAT dog. Wonderful animal. Very much our first child.</p><p>Fast forward a few years and our sweet girl had to be put to sleep. I was at work and upset about it. I couldn't stop leaking a little just thinking about her. My very Catholic friend told me that, if it was any comfort, dogs don't have souls.</p><p>WTF?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqvpv5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">edgarpickle</a></p>Panic And Dog Food
<p>I was this person unfortunately. I don't react well with sudden bad news and often say the first thing that comes to my mind out of sheer panic.</p><p>I went to get my hair cut in college and as I sat down the small talk started. She asked how things have been blah blah blah. I asked how she had been (it was our first time meeting) and she says "my dog just died." </p><p>Immediately the alarms are going off in my head, a man is running around my brain blasting a whistle trying to figure out my next step.</p><p>"At least you'll save a ton of money on dog food now."</p><p>No... Please no! </p><p>Unfortunately it was already said, everyone stopped what they were doing immediately, you could hear a pin drop. She just continued cutting my hair for what was the quietest haircut I've ever got. I couldn't even apologize I felt so bad and so awkward. </p><p>I just shut my damn mouth and looked straight ahead while hoping I still had both my ears by the time I left.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqa7go?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OriginsOfSymmetry</a></p>"That's What Drug Addicts Do"
<p>My cousin died of a drug overdose, my father called me to tell me the news. </p><p>After I got off the phone, visibly upset, I told my husband (now ex) what had happened. He said: <br>"Well what did you expect to happen? That's what drug addicts do, they die. And he did it to himself, there is no reason for you to shed a tear, get over it." </p><p>then went back to playing video games. </p><p>I didn't even know what to say to that, and just went to the other room to mourn by myself. It was an abusive situation and I am still in the process of getting divorced 2.5 years later.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqvivj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lil-one</a></p>How NOT To Treat A Phobia
<p>I used to have a phobia of scarecrows that began when I had a repeating nightmare where I would be chased by one in a dark cornfield. </p><p>A girlfriend I had in high school invited me along on a youth group trip. She didn't tell me much except we were going to a camp the next state over and would be doing things like going to an apple orchard. </p><p>The first full day, we all get on the bus, and she tells me that we were going to a corn maze. She hid this from me as she thought it would help with my phobia given she'd be with me and it was day time... I dumbly agreed and made it through the maze while white-knuckling her hand the whole time. </p><p>When we got out, I asked how much longer we'd be at the maze... that's when she told me about how it turns into a haunted corn maze at night... anyone want to take a guess at what the actors were dressed as...</p>People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing
<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?
<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>Being Used
<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>Hiding The Receipts
<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO
<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>How Do You Do This To Someone
<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>Be My Friend And Not Theirs
<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>Victim Time
<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies
<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law
<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional Laws
<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>For the Face Plant Image
<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>A Mammal of Few Words
<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>Baggage
<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public
<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>Not Wrong
<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>Watch the News Before Saying This One
<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>Got a Million of Em
<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>G-Pa With the Physics Humor
<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor
<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***
Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedyto try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?