Most school nurses will dismiss a student's claim of illness with a quick thermometer reading of 98.6. Repeats of these are the typical day of a school nurse, but every now and then, things do get interesting. Students can be very creative- even in the nurses' office.
DolphinBoyX asked: School nurses of reddit, what's the strangest incident that caused a student to go to your office?
So this kid brought one to school and used it to battle a kid with a real beyblade and actually broke the real one with his knock off metal one. So obviously he wins and the battle is over so he goes to pick up the still spinning Beyblade so he doesn't have to wait for it to stop and the thing just fucking chops off his pinky finger.
Ok I'm exaggerating a little it didn't completely cut it off but it shredded the flesh around his knuckle so bad that when he went to the hospital there was nothing they could do to re attach it since it was so badly damaged and they had to just take it the rest of the way off and clean it up. From what I heard the wound was similar to what a chainsaw would do, rip and tear flesh rather than cleanly cut it like a knife.
Beyblades were banned the next day. Instant week suspension if you were caught with one from then on."
Seven in a row? Dang.
Giphy"Not a nurse but happened in the class I was an aide in. One girl pulled her tooth out (1st grade, it's normal), then less than 5 minutes later another six girls had pulled their teeth out.
The last girl tried to pull one that wasn't even wobbly and did something nasty to her gum and blood was pouring out everywhere. 2 kids fainted and the teacher couldn't even look she was so green. I had to take her to the office to get some cloths and call mum."
We do not want to know the story behind this.
"We had a kid come in with a butter knife in his butt.
It was causing discomfort and he couldn't sit down in AP history."
A deadly high-five.
"So I was in a high school and the freshman here seem to be the dumbest generation ever because they would get hurt in all sorts of weird ways but one that made me laugh is when a boy was waiting for the bus when it passed him by.
He said he started running after it and got mad and punched the side of the bus before returning to the school. He ended up fracturing his hand."
Pants on fire!
"Not a nurse, but had a fellow student put a stolen test tub full of Hydrochloric acid in his pocket that was full of fertilizer (ammonium nitrate). The test tube broke when he leaned forward resulting in a chemical fire in his jeans.
The fire department carried him out of the school with no pants wrapped in a emergency blanket."
....but was the bunny ok?
"Not a nurse, but accident prone. When I was in 6th grade home economics we were working on sewing projects. I was constructing a jester bunny rabbit. I was attaching the head and body to the jester collar, which was a lot of fluffy toy material. To get the material to go into the sewing machine I had to really push down and try and flatten it before going in. I don't know how but I managed to get both the material and my finger into the machine. The needle went through the center of my nail an tip of my finger bone.
They had to dismantle part of the machine to get me, the rabbit and the needle down to the nurses office. Once the extra string was cut the bunny came off easy. But the nurse had to get a pliers from the wood shop teacher to pull the needle out."
No pain, no gain.
"Not a nurse but I was a summer camp counselor and often brought kids to the nurse.
One day I had two campers both lose a tooth. They separately went to the nurse and got those little treasure chests that kids put their teeth into. It was surprising that we had two kids lose a tooth in one day since it was a small group and the campers were in the older range, but not out of the ordinary.
Another one of my campers must have gotten jealous or something though, because suddenly she calls me over and says, "loo I can lose a tooth too!" And just puts her hand in her mouth and rips one out with reckless abandon. It wasn't even loose.
She just went for it.
There was a lot of blood and I kind of just stared at her for a few moments not processing what the hell had just happened. I think I remained professional but it's hard too when a kid just tears a tooth out of their mouth without even flinching. It wasn't even loose, this felt like some civil war amputation shit.
Before I could react she started jumping around all excited because she, "lost" a tooth and asked to go to the camp nurse
And I was like,"yeah at this point I think we should go to the psychiatric nurse" but I didn't actually say that because that would not be appropriate and instead just walked her to the camp nurse in stunned silence as I was still trying to process what the had just happened.
Her parents tipped me well though, so I guess her impromptu tooth removal didn't have any long term consequences."
The calmest person in this situation.
"Not the nurse, tried to remove stuck pen cap with scissors.
Got scissors stuck through fingers.
On the spectrum, so I politely rose my hand, dripping with blood, waited to be called on, pointed out the wound, walked to the nurse by slowly walking the proper route as if in elementary school single file lines so as to not disrupt hallway rules, lightly spraying the walls as I walked past.
I was not a bright child."
He ran into my fist, I swear!
Giphy"Not a nurse, but I was in gym class, goofing off with my friend. I was pretending like I was slicing him up with a flurry of knife attacks (a bunch of light pokes at the air around him that mostly didn't land) as I was running around him in circles.
Then he put his fist out as I ran up behind him.
We both had to clarify to the gym teacher that, no, it wasn't a fight, yes, I ran into his fist, and yes, that was pretty stupid. In my rush to not bleed all over my gym clothes, I left a trail of blood leading to the nurse's office that scared at least one person before I came back to clean it up."
The show must go on?
"Not a nurse but the student who had to go to the office. I was in the 11th grade and was part of the drama club. We had a rehearsal for a play what we were supposed to play the next day.
After finishing, I was walking down a set of stairs and, being filled with excitement, decided to jump to the bottom of the stairs. I hit my head on a concrete beam and split it open. I was bleeding really bad but I decided to not go to the doctor because I thought he wouldn't allow me to take part in the play the next day so I went to the school nurse.
That poor lady was horrified when she saw me full of blood with a 6 cemeteries split on my head. Eventually she sent me to ER and I got 6 stitches and I was not allowed to go to school for almost a week so I missed the play."
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
