Most school nurses will dismiss a student's claim of illness with a quick thermometer reading of 98.6. Repeats of these are the typical day of a school nurse, but every now and then, things do get interesting. Students can be very creative- even in the nurses' office.
DolphinBoyX asked: School nurses of reddit, what's the strangest incident that caused a student to go to your office?
The Beyblade Chainsaw Massacre
"Not the nurse but...
Beyblades were a big thing at my elementary school, like a BIG thing. Kids would have battles with them at lunch and if you didn't have one you were a loser.
Well as with any fad the legit thing tends to be expensive so parents always buy the cheap knock offs. As it turns out there's a brand of knock off Beyblades that are made out of metal and are actually kinda sharp around the edges especially the parts that stick out. They're also super heavy compared to a real Beyblade so they spin a lot faster and longer than a real one.
So this kid brought one to school and used it to battle a kid with a real beyblade and actually broke the real one with his knock off metal one. So obviously he wins and the battle is over so he goes to pick up the still spinning Beyblade so he doesn't have to wait for it to stop and the thing just fucking chops off his pinky finger.
Ok I'm exaggerating a little it didn't completely cut it off but it shredded the flesh around his knuckle so bad that when he went to the hospital there was nothing they could do to re attach it since it was so badly damaged and they had to just take it the rest of the way off and clean it up. From what I heard the wound was similar to what a chainsaw would do, rip and tear flesh rather than cleanly cut it like a knife.
Beyblades were banned the next day. Instant week suspension if you were caught with one from then on."
Seven in a row? Dang.Giphy
"Not a nurse but happened in the class I was an aide in. One girl pulled her tooth out (1st grade, it's normal), then less than 5 minutes later another six girls had pulled their teeth out.
The last girl tried to pull one that wasn't even wobbly and did something nasty to her gum and blood was pouring out everywhere. 2 kids fainted and the teacher couldn't even look she was so green. I had to take her to the office to get some cloths and call mum."
We do not want to know the story behind this.
"We had a kid come in with a butter knife in his butt.
It was causing discomfort and he couldn't sit down in AP history."
A deadly high-five.
"So I was in a high school and the freshman here seem to be the dumbest generation ever because they would get hurt in all sorts of weird ways but one that made me laugh is when a boy was waiting for the bus when it passed him by.
He said he started running after it and got mad and punched the side of the bus before returning to the school. He ended up fracturing his hand."
Pants on fire!
"Not a nurse, but had a fellow student put a stolen test tub full of Hydrochloric acid in his pocket that was full of fertilizer (ammonium nitrate). The test tube broke when he leaned forward resulting in a chemical fire in his jeans.
The fire department carried him out of the school with no pants wrapped in a emergency blanket."
....but was the bunny ok?
"Not a nurse, but accident prone. When I was in 6th grade home economics we were working on sewing projects. I was constructing a jester bunny rabbit. I was attaching the head and body to the jester collar, which was a lot of fluffy toy material. To get the material to go into the sewing machine I had to really push down and try and flatten it before going in. I don't know how but I managed to get both the material and my finger into the machine. The needle went through the center of my nail an tip of my finger bone.
They had to dismantle part of the machine to get me, the rabbit and the needle down to the nurses office. Once the extra string was cut the bunny came off easy. But the nurse had to get a pliers from the wood shop teacher to pull the needle out."
No pain, no gain.
"Not a nurse but I was a summer camp counselor and often brought kids to the nurse.
One day I had two campers both lose a tooth. They separately went to the nurse and got those little treasure chests that kids put their teeth into. It was surprising that we had two kids lose a tooth in one day since it was a small group and the campers were in the older range, but not out of the ordinary.
Another one of my campers must have gotten jealous or something though, because suddenly she calls me over and says, "loo I can lose a tooth too!" And just puts her hand in her mouth and rips one out with reckless abandon. It wasn't even loose.
She just went for it.
There was a lot of blood and I kind of just stared at her for a few moments not processing what the hell had just happened. I think I remained professional but it's hard too when a kid just tears a tooth out of their mouth without even flinching. It wasn't even loose, this felt like some civil war amputation shit.
Before I could react she started jumping around all excited because she, "lost" a tooth and asked to go to the camp nurse
And I was like,"yeah at this point I think we should go to the psychiatric nurse" but I didn't actually say that because that would not be appropriate and instead just walked her to the camp nurse in stunned silence as I was still trying to process what the had just happened.
Her parents tipped me well though, so I guess her impromptu tooth removal didn't have any long term consequences."
The calmest person in this situation.
"Not the nurse, tried to remove stuck pen cap with scissors.
Got scissors stuck through fingers.
On the spectrum, so I politely rose my hand, dripping with blood, waited to be called on, pointed out the wound, walked to the nurse by slowly walking the proper route as if in elementary school single file lines so as to not disrupt hallway rules, lightly spraying the walls as I walked past.
I was not a bright child."
He ran into my fist, I swear!Giphy
"Not a nurse, but I was in gym class, goofing off with my friend. I was pretending like I was slicing him up with a flurry of knife attacks (a bunch of light pokes at the air around him that mostly didn't land) as I was running around him in circles.
Then he put his fist out as I ran up behind him.
We both had to clarify to the gym teacher that, no, it wasn't a fight, yes, I ran into his fist, and yes, that was pretty stupid. In my rush to not bleed all over my gym clothes, I left a trail of blood leading to the nurse's office that scared at least one person before I came back to clean it up."
The show must go on?
"Not a nurse but the student who had to go to the office. I was in the 11th grade and was part of the drama club. We had a rehearsal for a play what we were supposed to play the next day.
After finishing, I was walking down a set of stairs and, being filled with excitement, decided to jump to the bottom of the stairs. I hit my head on a concrete beam and split it open. I was bleeding really bad but I decided to not go to the doctor because I thought he wouldn't allow me to take part in the play the next day so I went to the school nurse.
That poor lady was horrified when she saw me full of blood with a 6 cemeteries split on my head. Eventually she sent me to ER and I got 6 stitches and I was not allowed to go to school for almost a week so I missed the play."