People Break Down The Absolute Scariest Thing They've Ever Experienced
One of life's most unfortunate moments is when we feel our lives are genuinely in danger.
These horrific moments can involve the behavior of people with malicious intentions or just being at the wrong place and time.
Even though many people live to share their harrowing stories, the trauma doesn't necessarily go away completely.
But all anyone who's experienced a terrifying ordeal can do to find peace is to count their blessings and be grateful they are survivors.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the scariest incident happened with you?"
These Redditors experienced heart-stopping false alarms.
"Half a dozen masked men broke into my bedroom, threatened me and my girlfriend, realised they had the wrong house, apologised and left. Edit - I told the full story here a while back."
Witness At A Shopping Mall
"Similar thing happened to my Aunt. She witnessed an attack at a shopping centre (on going disagreement between 2 well known families) and was threatened. A few days later one of the older family members approached her in her driveway and apologised profusely for the younger persons behaviour and offered her compensation. She was so scared she just said no thanks and he left."
Sometimes, you gotta listen to your gut.
"Wife and I took a dark exit towards out neighborhood. Whole backseat full of bags cause we went shopping at the mall. There’s a red light at the intersection once you get off the exit and we pull up to this tinted oldsmobile. They were in the right lane to go straight or turn right and we were in the left lane to turn left."
"Nobody is around, maybe 10 at night. I turn left and look in my rear view and it’s the car that was next to us a bit back. I pull in my driveway and just had a really weird feeling, so I told my wife I’m gonna reverse and drive around the block. She thinks it’s weird as hell, but as we are reversing, this dude is walking towards us from that Oldsmobile parked around the corner. I dip the f**k out and make it look like I was just turning around and drove like a mile away before heading back."
"Just had this gut feeling, man. Who knows what would have happened? But it was scary as f'k, nonetheless."
A Tragic Stop
"Friend borrowed dad’s Benz to take wife on anniversary date. He stopped for flowers and was followed home by someone thinking he was wealthy. He was shot dead in his driveway in what turned out to be a gang initiation; you did the right thing."
These Redditors looked down the barrel of a gun...and lived to tell their story.
"Was at a train station that was empty and I was sitting down waiting for a train and a man walks over with a bag, opens it and takes out a shotgun and points it at me and I just stare at him, he then says 'you're not scared are you' then puts the shotgun back in the bag then walks out of the train station."
"Actually not sure if that was the scariest or weirdest or if I was even scared."
The Right Answer
"Reminds me of the time a guy put a gun to my neck and said, 'What would you do if I pull the trigger right now.'"
"I was in a completely apathetic state of mind at that time anyway and said, 'Not much I can do, but I'll haunt you.'"
These Redditors experienced medical emergencies.
"Last week had a heart attack after almost recovering from chemotherapy."
"I asked the nurse if I was going to die and she said I’m in the right place and they will look after me. Then I got more scared then I ever have before"
"I should not have survived but I did."
"The scan came back and we found a mass. We'd like you to come in to talk to the doctor today or tomorrow. You should see if someone can drive for you as you may be upset afterwards"
"Can I come in next week, I have a trip planned?"
"The doctor says you should come in today anytime and we will clear an appointment for you."
"Luckily that doctor kicked a**. 3 years post-surgery. Scans are clean in August and I move into the "only 10% chance of reoccurrence" bracket."
"Felt sick, kind of like the flu. Felt completely fine in the morning, but got worse as the day went on. It was the middle of the night and I was up with my husband and our new 6 week old baby. I was pumping breastmilk."
"Next thing I know, I’m waking up to EMTs surrounding me on my bed telling me not to move or sit up. My heart rate was incredibly high and blood pressure incredibly low. They took me to the hospital and no one knew what was wrong with me for a while. They kept asking me what drugs I took. I kept telling them nothing (which is true). I just had a baby, the biggest 'drug' I was taking was Tylenol. They didn’t believe me for a while."
"I couldn’t remember a lot of things at this point. I could barely even remember my own kid’s name. I couldn’t tell them who the president was or what year it was when they asked. It was a weird feeling to have memory missing. Kind of like having lost some puzzle pieces. Talking was also kind of difficult."
"After a BUNCH of tests, turns out I had a UTI so bad that I went into septic shock and my kidneys were shutting down. Didn’t know I had a UTI because I was still healing from childbirth and I am pretty asymptomatic when it comes to UTIs. I don’t feel pain when I get them. Spent a few days in the ICCU. Was extra scary considering my brand new baby was at home and I wasn’t and there was a chance I wouldn’t make it home at all."
"In the end, I thankfully made a full recovery."
"Not as intense as some of these other stories, but please don’t sleep on a UTI guys. Sepsis is no joke."
The last time I truly feared for my life was when I was at a party and a fight between two drunk partygoers turned into a Swiss army knife fight.
I'm not kidding.
A couple of my friends and I jumped off the second floor balcony and got chased in the parking lot.
After some fumbling with the car keys, my buddy managed to get five of us crammed into his car and the perpetrator started pounding on the rear window with his fists and bloodying it up from smashing his knuckles onto the glass.
The police came just in time. Thank you annoyed neighbor who called the cops on us for our blood-curdling screams disturbing the peace.
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Reddit user Fun_Willingness5995 asked: 'What was a time in which a date was going well, but the other person ruined it?'
Finding the perfect romantic partner that lasts beyond the first couple of dates can seem like catching lightning in a bottle.
While many love connections are made online, taking things to the next level and meeting the prospective significant other in person can wind up being a completely different experience.
Sometimes it's hit or miss.
Let's focus on the misses.
Strangers online shared the moments things took a detour south when Redditor Fun_Willingness5995 asked:
"What was a time in which a date was going well, but the other person ruined it?"
Things started off promising until they weren't.
He Was Thirsty
"She told me she had pretty bad anxiety being in public and asked if she could make me dinner instead. We went for a walk prior to the dinner so we could see if we wanted to do the dinner after. She was super stoked for dinner after our walk."
"Dinner was great and she asked if I wanted to watch a movie. About 20 minutes into the movie she started nudging into me and initiated making out. After starting to really get into the heavier side of things I felt something tap my shoulder. I turned my head quickly as it startled me and I am met eye to eye with a 4-5 year old boy who then asks me if he can have a cup of water."
"His mom starts screaming at him to go back to his room which he runs as fast as he can back too. She starts apologizing and tries to reinitiated. I told her to give me a minute. Got a cup of water and called for him to come back out which he did. I handed him the cup he took a drink and said thank you and ran back into his room."
"I was pretty riled up at the idea she had her kid there without saying anything AND screamed at him for asking for something so basic as water. I left after that and vowed to never be that parent with my own kids."
Heartless For Sentimental Values
"I was out with a guy having a lovely time and he made a comment about a copper bangle bracelet I was wearing. I told him that it was really special to me, I got it during my semester abroad in South Africa from a local. It was a solid copper band but in the middle there was copper wire woven around. He asked to take a closer look so I took it off and handed it to him. He then snapped it in half thinking the copper wire was a spring. I was visibly upset and he said that it was a sign that I needed to move on from my trip and stop living in the past (?!!?). I never spoke to him again."
Well, Look At The Time
"Ordered a pint of beer, it was really good. Got halfway through waiting for the date to show up. She sat down, chatted and said 'this isn't what I was expecting' then got up and left. Ruined my beer."
"My dating pictures were accurate, so not sure what happened."
These were totally unexpected.
So There Were These Two Dudes
"I met off a site he was nice (if a little awkward) and he couldn't help but show me his Twitch stream gameplays for 25 minutes straight, watching me expectantly. (Which, might have been okay for a conversation starter actually, I love gaming but there's only so much of watching someone else's stream with no funny commentary or context one can handle before mentally checking out)"
An Unstaged Event
"We had dinner and all was going well, and we were wandering down the dark sidewalk engaged in conversation, when she walked straight into a signpost that neither of us noticed. I let out one nervous laugh before I could stop it, and she accused me of engineering the event for my amusement."
Rude Social Engagement
"Like the first 80% of it was a nice/awkward but cute first date. Then at the end she pulled out her phone and started fighting with people on Twitter and narrating all of it. It was a long drive back."
Confidence is one thing but this is just going too far.
Slow Your Roll
"Literally went on a date last night and was going really well until dessert when he said 'god, I can’t wait to put kids in you.' We hadn’t even talked about kids at that point."
Moving Too Fast
"I was on a date with a newly divorced woman. We were having a nice dinner and getting to know each other before it turned awkward. She didn't tell me she had kids until we were eating dinner, and she began moving things way too fast, talking about me meeting her kids right away, moving in together, etc. This was on our first date, and I didn't want to be anybody's step parent, much less get U-Hauly so quickly."
"We finished our dinner and parted ways amicably after a heart to heart, and there were no hard feelings. She was simply getting carried away with the excitement of being single and going out with new people. She agreed that she needed to let the ink dry on her divorce a little longer and take her time before introducing new people to her children, and we fell out of contact soon after."
"Not me, but a female friend of mine was just telling me about her most recent OKCupid date. Her description went something like this:"
"Everything was going really great. He is smart and funny, and easy to talk to. He seems like a great dad to his kids and gets along ok with his ex (always a good sign). Just really down-to-earth guy and it seemed like there was some nice chemistry. After dinner we decided to go have a drink at a fun little bar about a mile away. We got in his car to drive over there. He kissed me, which was nice."
"Then he took out his junk."
There's nothing worse than having your expectations fail you after a date turns sour.
But rest assured, there are plenty of fish in the sea–and as much as the supportive cliché is overused–there is truth to the fact that the right person will come along at the right time.
So don't lose hope, all you single people out there.
Cupid may land the target when you least expect it.
Offering guests a place to stay and being hospitable is one of the nicest things we can do for someone, and we want them to feel at home and comfortable. Usually, we expect nothing more in return than a certain level of respect and decorum as a show of appreciation. However, this isn’t always the case. What happens when houseguests get out of control, create disturbing problems, and overstay their welcome? Read on to find out.
1. I Wanted To Sake To Himmen's blue and white button-up collared topPhoto by christian buehner on Unsplash
My husband’s old friend stayed with us for two weeks while we were living in Japan. He was very smug and irritating. He thought he was an instant “expert” on Japan after a few days when we had been living there for two years. He finally left on a Friday. My husband and I had separate plans on Saturday. I returned in the afternoon to an unlocked door and the sound of the TV.
I thought my husband had returned early—but I was so wrong. It was the friend. He thought we were gone for the weekend, so he broke into our apartment for an extra two-night stay. He actually protested and said, “You weren’t supposed to be here!” He refused to leave until my husband came back home and told him personally that he had overstayed his welcome.
2. There Was Snow Chance Of Him Leavingperson shoveling snowPhoto by Filip Mroz on Unsplash
We had a dinner guest who asked to stay overnight because of impending snow. My spouse and I agreed as we didn’t have work the next day. However, the guest did. He started freaking out at 7:30 in the morning because we hadn’t shoveled the driveway for him yet. He yelled at us saying, “How am I supposed to get to work on time?!”
3. He Wasn’t Using His Noodlefire on panPhoto by Frederick Medina on Unsplash
I had a houseguest over. Suddenly, I heard the fire alarm ring. I ran to the kitchen—and I couldn’t believe my eyes. He had started a kitchen fire by cooking spaghetti in cake pans…without any water. I found him looking over the stove trying to blow out the fire, with his mouth, which was basically stoking the flames.
I slid the flaming cake pan into the sink and doused it in water to put it out.
4. Dialed Into Debtman with black beard and mustachePhoto by Erik Mclean on Unsplash
I was going to be gone half the summer, so I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school. He was an excellent houseguest, other than he would call those racy 1-900 phone lines when he had been drinking. He even told me that they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it.
However, we had no idea that it was going to be almost $1,000 in charges. The bill was 100 pages long. Each of the 1-900 numbers he called operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services. So, there were about 50 separate bills printed that were bundled together by my local provider.
If I didn't pay the bill, my service was going to be cut off. Luckily, I was able to get some of the bills canceled or reduced. My houseguest coughed up $500 and gave me a CD player, a PlayStation, and a TV as payment.
5. Nowhere To Hideopen grey chain-link gracePhoto by Alvin Engler on Unsplash
When my husband and I first dated, I would usually hang out at his house because there were significantly fewer people around. I grew up with four sisters, shared a bedroom, and their friends were over a lot, so I enjoyed the privacy I got at his house. One day his mother told me to make sure the back door was locked, blinds drawn, and not to let the dogs out in the backyard.
She told me she didn’t want her next-door neighbor to know she was home. I thought it was weird—but I quickly found out why. This neighbor was a single dad who had two children—a tween and a child. The younger of these children was non-verbal and completely silent. The neighbor worked from home but on a couple of occasions had asked my mother-in-law if she could babysit, to which she reluctantly agreed.
The father would let himself into her house to pick the child up without knocking and then hang out, wanting to talk for hours about himself, while they want to have dinner. The child soon took a real liking to my mother-in-law and started just coming into the house. They would both let themselves in and make themselves at home at her house.
Not only that, but the father actively encouraged it and thought that bonding with an adult mother figure was nice for the child to have. There would be times my mother-in-law was sleeping in her sheer nightgown and would wake up and have this small child standing over her. It scared the daylights out of her and my husband as well. They would come home and the child would be in the house waiting, having snuck in through the back door that was unlocked.
When they started locking the door, the child and father would sit on the porch and wait. Anytime he would see that anyone was home, he would just send his child over. The child didn’t speak, so you couldn’t sit down with them and explain how you can’t just walk into someone’s house—how it’s dangerous and not appropriate.
The child needed constant supervision for their age. So my mother-in-law had a discussion with the father and told him that she was too busy and could not be babysitting his child all the time and they couldn’t just show up unannounced. He said, “No problem. I’m sure your son and his girlfriend won’t mind babysitting.” My mother said she would ask. Of course, we said no.
She caved for a while and continued babysitting until she couldn’t take it anymore. The guy never let up. So, my mother-in-law and my husband lived like The Klopeks—car in the garage, window curtains or blinds closed, lights off, doors all locked, little movement. But even that couldn’t end their ordeal. The child would still come and try to get in through the doors and ring the doorbell over and over and over knowing they were inside.
She would eventually open the door, take the child back home and firmly explain to the father again that she can’t be babysitting. He would do the whole fake apology thing and say it wouldn’t happen again. Rinse and repeat. She started only going in her yard when she would see his car gone or his lights off. The houses were so close together she could never really hide from them. It was really nerve-racking and bizarre.
When she finally sold that house, it was a weight lifted off her shoulders. However, the guy tracked her down after she moved and remarried asking if she was still up for babysitting. She just blocked his calls. She still acts like a hermit now. Once someone came to her door unannounced and kept ringing the bell over and over.
She took the pan of bacon she was cooking off the stove and hid in her room with it. I wish I was joking.
6. He Was A Grump To My Gramstoasted bread with tartar saucePhoto by Pixzolo Photography on Unsplash
When I was 13, my cousin had a friend over. My grandma offered to make him a sandwich. A little while later he said, “Where is that sandwich coming from, South Dakota?” I guess he thought it was taking too long. I was completely appalled at how someone could say such a thing to someone’s grandmother that they had just met.
7. She Made Me Want To Fleawhite and black American pit bull terrier at daytimePhoto by Justin Veenema on Unsplash
I let a friend and her dog stay at my house for a weekend while I was away. My kitchen was a disaster and she left the back door unlocked—but that’s not the worst part. I had asked her directly if her dog was on flea prevention and she assured me it was. After I was swarmed with the bugs in my living room, I questioned her again and she admitted that the “flea prevention” she was giving the dog was yeast and garlic tablets.
She made no offer to help me treat the house or reimburse me. She was not invited back.
8. Brother From Another Mother?man in front of bed prayingPhoto by Greta Schölderle Möller on Unsplash
My brother's best friend came to live with us for "a few months" because he wanted to move back to our state. My parents agreed because he was supposed to go to college and they believe college education is important. Well, eight years later, he was still there. All of my parent's children had moved out, but for some reason, my brother's best friend was still living there.
9. She Just Didn’t Leavea red exit sign hanging from the ceilingPhoto by mk. s on Unsplash
I had an old friend who was in town. I offered to let her stay with me for a week instead of getting a hotel. A week turned into two, which became a month. When I confronted her and asked when her new place would be ready, her reaction made me blood run cold. She said she thought she could just stay with me. Since she had all of her stuff there for over two weeks, I had to formally evict her.
10. Their Stay Went Viralblue and white flower illustrationPhoto by CDC on Unsplash
We had some good friends stay at our house while we were out of town for the holidays. We came home to a clean house, maybe cleaner than we left it. Two nights later, our toddler woke up and couldn't stop throwing up. We took her to the emergency room. She stabilized after about five hours or so, just enough time to ring in the New Year under the fluorescent lights.
But then, things got weirder. A few days after, I started feeling like I had a kidney stone or something. I had pain at first, then fever and chills started up. I ended up going to the emergency room as well. I had a bunch of tests done, multiple IV bags of fluid, etc. They hadn’t figured out what was wrong when my wife called saying she wasn’t feeling well either. I knew it all had to be connected.
After about a week or so, we were all better, so we went on with our lives. About a month later, we were recounting our illness events to a mutual friend. That’s when we finally learned what had really happened. He said, "Oh, wasn't that right around the time our friend was in town? We never got to see them because they all had Norovirus that week."
That sure explained the number of sheets that were changed at the house and a couple of not quite dry spots on the bedroom carpet. A heads up before we got home would have been appreciated.
11. He Chipped Away At My Patienceclear drinking glass beside brown bread on blue ceramic platePhoto by Olga Kozachenko on Unsplash
My mother's friend and her children went on a vacation with us. We were sitting in the common area of the place we were staying at and started chatting with some strangers there. The friend's kid got up, walked to the coffee table, and just opened the stranger's bag of chips and started eating without ever asking first.
His mother did absolutely nothing. She just watched him do it. One of the strangers just paused for a second and said, "Uhh, sure. Feel free to eat some."
12. Two-Week Takeoversausage on white ceramic platePhoto by Amanda Lim on Unsplash
My dad's best friend and his family stayed with us for two weeks one summer. I was nine years old and my sister was a two-week-old newborn when they arrived. The wife kept putting my sister onto her stomach while she slept when no one was looking. When my mom finally caught her and told her to stop, because of the risk, she replied, "I did it with all my kids and they turned out fine,” and continued doing it. But that was just the start of the nightmare.
The wife would also only cook sausages and mashed potatoes for dinner. She would get angry at my mom when she cooked something different. She also heavily restricted anyone in the kitchen. I had to ask permission to get a cup of water or eat a biscuit from the pantry in my own house. Her husband would also dictate what activities we were allowed to do and when.
13. They Caused A Full Metal Racketbrown wooden framed yellow padded chairPhoto by Kam Idris on Unsplash
We had friends who were house-sitting for us. When we returned home, they had rearranged almost all the furniture. Most of it was just moving things back but they pushed an old teacher's desk we had down into the basement. It was one of those huge metal monstrosities that weighed a ton. There was no way to get it back up the stairs without some type of machine that I couldn't afford. So, that thing stayed in the basement and was sold with the home. They also damaged a recliner so it didn't recline anymore and claimed they didn't.
14. He Was A Doggone Nightmareblack and white short coated dog on green grass during daytimePhoto by Yvette Serrano on Unsplash
I had a friend who came to stay with me. As he was moving in, he said, ”By the way, I have a dog. I hope that's fine,” as his dog ran into my house and jumped on my couch. He never once cleaned up the dog’s poop from the backyard. Then, he sat right next to me on the couch when my husband was at work and asked me to restart what I was watching from the beginning so he could join.
He also complained that I was using the second bedroom for my office when the last friend who stayed with us, and paid rent, had it as their room. His stay was cut short.
15. Sandwich Swiperburger with lettuce and tomatoPhoto by Anastasia Kalinkina on Unsplash
I would make all of my sandwiches for the week on Sunday nights and put them in the refrigerator. An acquaintance was over with a group of friends, and he went into the kitchen for a minute. He came back with one of my premade sandwiches. It wasn’t about the food per se, but the fact that he took a premade sandwich from my refrigerator without asking.
16. Late Night Losersman covering face with both hands while sitting on benchPhoto by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash
My partner’s friend showed up after 11 PM on a weeknight with some other random friend. They would come home after 11 PM every night of their stay knowing we had to work in the morning. They weren’t quiet either. They would be ready to party and try to get us to drink. They would spill things without wiping them up, leave glassware everywhere, use our fancy dishes, and never pick up after themselves. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
They never even bothered to ask me anything about myself, insulted my restaurant recommendations, cheered against my team for no reason when I had the game on, and made a comment about how there must be a lot of “gay stuff” going on in my brother’s rehab stay. They were both just obnoxious to be around.
17. He Was No Barrel Of Laughsyellow and green trash binPhoto by prawito hudoro on Unsplash
I was at my parents’ house, and let my buddy from high school stay the night because he was "kicked out" of his house and he didn't want to stay in the park. I guess he was afraid to go upstairs when my parents woke up, so he ended up peeing in the trash barrel. It was absolutely gross having to dump that out.
18. Gone With The Windman in black jacket and blue denim jeans standing beside silver carPhoto by Nima Sarram on Unsplash
We were helping out my nephew and letting him stay with us. He ended up selling the car that we let him use, then he got on a plane and left town without telling us. We didn't even know he was gone until we received a Facebook message from some random guy saying my nephew told him to contact us for the pink slip. He left his bedroom filled with cigarette butts, empty drink cans, and old vapes.
19. Goblin Go Homeman standing near white wallPhoto by ian dooley on Unsplash
A few years ago, our good friend and her boyfriend came to stay with us for a week. Our friend was a saint, however, her boyfriend was a goblin. To this day I have no idea how this man survived into his 20s—he was the absolute strangest person I had ever met. He was fine for the first couple of days. He took us all out for drinks and acted like a total gentleman.
A couple of days in, he decided he wanted to be a dealer in our neighborhood. For reference, we lived in a residential family neighborhood in "the hood" of our city. There were already several dealers on our block. We tried to convince him this was a very bad idea, specifically because we didn't want the others thinking our house was the competition.
He didn’t listen. Fortunately, nothing serious happened and he didn't run into anyone important. He did, however, run into our next-door neighbor, and invited himself into the guy's house. Our neighbor was a nice dude, but not someone we had ever actually hung out with, so we began the process of trying to extract him. However, having no social cues whatsoever, he wasn’t picking up on it.
Suddenly our friend’s boyfriend stood up and exclaimed, “I'm bleeding!" His shin was bleeding a lot, where he had apparently picked a scab. Our neighbor asked him if he wanted a Band-Aid, but he just said, "Nah man, I can handle it.” We eventually got him out, but not before he bled all over the place. The next morning my fiancée got up before sunrise to use the bathroom and saw the guy in the backyard with his pants down, pleasuring himself.
She decided not to confront him because it would be weird. We later asked his girlfriend about it and we offered to leave if they wanted some privacy to get busy. Apparently, he believed it was rude to be intimate in someone else's house and thought it would be more polite to have at it in the yard. Again, we lived in a residential family neighborhood. We had no idea what possessed him to think this was okay.
He also had a condition where every time he was cold, he would grab at his stomach, make audible "uhh...brrrr" sounds, and complain that his stomach hurt. We couldn't figure out what that had to do with being cold. At one point, he bought a gallon of milk and a can of chili. He rapidly ate the chili and chugged the milk, then projectile vomited all over the backyard.
When we asked his girlfriend why he didn't just use the toilet, she said he'd told her he “wanted to be polite.” He would sleep in our living room all day and pass gas a lot. He would take hour-long showers and use up all of our hot water, shampoo, and conditioner. On the day they were supposed to leave, I decided I had enough and was burned out.
I got in my car and started driving to the local drugstore to get out of the house. Lo and behold, our guest hopped our fence, slid in my passenger door, and said he needed a couple of things for the trip so he was coming with me. When we got to the store, he was being loud and yelling across the place trying to have conversations with me.
At that point, I was just counting down the minutes until he was going to leave. We got to the checkout line, he cut in front of me, and before the cashier even started to ring him up, he started asking for discounts. I believe he asked for the “out of towners discount” and also tried to apply for a credit card—at CVS.
When this didn’t work and his stuff came out to be more than he wanted it to, he said, “Hey man, can you get me this drink, I thought I'd be able to get some discounts.” I reluctantly added his drink to my basket because I didn’t want to deal with the hassle. But then came the cherry on top. He looked in my basket, which contained shampoo and conditioner to replace the ones he used up, and said “Dude, you go through a lot of Suave for a bald guy.”
20. Tiny Tormentgirl playing guitar near wallPhoto by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash
There was a nine-year-old little girl from down the street who was friends with my daughter. She would come to our house at least every other day, and would mostly just show up. She had an opinion about EVERYTHING we did. My wife and I could not make a move without feeling judged, or receiving some advice I would never expect from a nine-year-old, ranging from how messy our house was, to how we spent our money.
Not only that, but she would talk back as much as my own kids did.
21. He Was Odd, No Matter How You Sliced Itgreen cheese and red tomatoesPhoto by Önder Örtel on Unsplash
I had a guy stay with me for about a month because he met a girl online which turned into a big catfishing debacle. We had mutual friends and he was waiting for his parents to wire him money for a plane ticket back home. I didn't want him to be out on the streets, so I offered him my place. The entire time he stayed with me, 90% of his daily caloric intake was eating slices of American cheese out of the fridge.
He went through about two dozen packs of cheese in that one month.
22. He Had An Appetite For Destructionfour person holding musical instruments standing near brown metal doorPhoto by Austin Wade on Unsplash
I was in a band with some dudes. I was the bass player, the manager, the roadie, the sound guy, and the financier. My best friend was the drummer, and another guy was the lead singer and guitarist. The singer’s wife had kicked him out, so I let him stay with me. His wife had destroyed all his clothes, so I spent about $500 on clothes for him, which he said he would pay back.
I also bought his kids Christmas presents, which he said he would pay me back for. A couple of weeks later, stuff suspiciously started turning up missing. It was all minor stuff, and we had parties from time to time, so I wasn't sure if this guy was the culprit. About a month later, I booked a significant gig. It was a music festival and paid WAY more than any other gig we ever had.
Two days before the gig, I came home and the guy was gone. Later that night, we were supposed to practice, but he didn’t show. I went to practice and all the microphones and guitars were gone. He pawned them and went on a partying spree. Two days after that, he got into a fight and broke a guy's neck, and was locked up.
Because I had spent so much on his clothes and kids, I didn't have enough money to get the guitars out of pawn, and his new life pretty much ensured that he was never going to pay me back. I lost the guitars and microphones and that was the end of the band.
23. Too Close For Comforta shelf filled with lots of different types of itemsPhoto by Ceyda Çiftci on Unsplash
I let a friend stay with me while he was in town. At the time I lived with four other people. He woke up in the morning and just started rummaging through the cupboards and was eating my roommates’ food. When I asked him why he would do that, and that it wasn’t even mine to offer to him, he said he would want guests at his house to feel comfortable just eating the food in the cupboards.
24. He Left A Trail Of Destructionred and black hookah on brown wooden tablePhoto by Tolga Ahmetler on Unsplash
I had a friend of a roommate try to get into my room, which I kept locked, numerous times. He ate my food, destroyed my cookware, burned a hookah, which set the couch on fire and nearly smothered me because I have asthma. He broke the washer, the bathroom sink, and the lanai door. He then "lost" the keys to the apartment, so I had no idea if someone could get in.
Then to finish it off, he harassed me and tried to put cameras up. I finally got the roommate evicted and the locks changed.
25. Sauced Ceilinggrilled meat on black grillPhoto by Luis Aleman on Unsplash
My ex-brother-in-law plopped himself along with a plate of BBQ ribs on my nice, cream-colored sofa. He then proceeded to chow down. He used the sofa as a napkin, spilled the meat on it, and I kid you not, I actually had BBQ sauce on the ceiling above where he was sitting. I still have no idea how on earth he got that up there.
26. Snack AttackFile:Girl Scout cookies (Girl Scouts of the USA).jpg - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.org
Once, I picked up my sister and her husband from the airport. I dropped them off at my house before taking my preschool kid to a doctor’s appointment. I told them to make themselves at home, and that we would be back in two hours. They ate all the snacks in the entire house, including ten brand new boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.
It was at least two months' worth of snacks. They laughed and said that they, “Just couldn’t help themselves since they don’t have junk food at home.”
27. He Left My Grandpa Plumb Exhaustedperson opening faucetPhoto by Jacek Dylag on Unsplash
My grandpa drove over to our house every day for a few months to get away from his insane wife. In turn, he was fixing up our disgusting bathroom. He was perfectly fine, but when it came time to fix some of the plumbing, he decided to play it safe and find someone to do it instead. Luckily, my mom found some guy next door willing to do it for free. Well, we were in for a surprise.
The first red flag was when he showed up six hours later than he had agreed to. It was late, but my grandpa was just grateful to have someone help him who wasn't his ex-wife. However, this man was acting a bit manic and stayed until 4 AM. My grandpa was absolutely exhausted. We highly believe he was on something. When he finally left, my mom took the time to inform me that she thought this guy was my great uncle!
28. She Was A Retchman in brown sweater wearing black framed eyeglassesPhoto by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash
When I was 19, I moved to a new state with my girlfriend, who I hadn't been with for all that long. A few months in, she decided her friend from college was going to move in with us. On her first night with us, we were all watching TV, when, without warning, she puked all over her end of the couch. She absolutely covered it.
To add to the experience, she was partying a lot and whenever she wasn’t high, she would bawl and scream every single night because she was running on serotonin fumes.
29. She Was On A Feeding FrenzyKFC fries and chicken lotPhoto by Aleks Dorohovich on Unsplash
We had someone my mom knew from work stay with us for a while when he and his wife were going through a divorce. He was all-around bad news but the thing that really set us off was that we caught him and his new girlfriend feeding random stuff to our dog. When I caught them, they were tossing our pooch chicken bones from KFC, which can be really dangerous for dogs.
30. Holiday Showdowncooked food on white ceramic platePhoto by Jed Owen on Unsplash
I invited a good friend of mine over for an early Christmas dinner one December. We hadn't seen each other in a few months. I took two days to plan the dinner and went all out making foods she loved. To start things off, she was 45 minutes late, without calling. Normally I wouldn’t care, but when it comes to food—that's just rude. We ate and had a good time. Then she said, "Oh, hey. I need to call my cousin. Do you mind?"
I shook my head thinking she'd just be a few minutes. Nearly 40 minutes later, she was still on. At one point, she got up to put her boots on while on the phone, then sat at the door. Meanwhile, I was in the kitchen angry and started clearing the table loudly so she could get the hint. She finally hung up without any apology and said, "I have to go now."
At that point, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted her to leave. We haven't seen each other since.
31. An Extremely Awkward Situationsmiling woman in white long sleeve shirt standing beside yellow flower during daytimePhoto by Quentin billington on Unsplash
I was in a pretty new relationship when my girlfriend told me she had to leave her apartment. She told me that she had another one lined up but it wouldn’t be available for a week. So, of course, I let her stay with me for that “week.” Two months later, she was still there, living rent-free. That’s when I made a disturbing discovery.
I walked in on her with another guy. I told her she needed to leave immediately. She went and begged the head tenant to let her stay as she had nowhere to go. He asked me if it would be OK and I felt bad to put her out on the street, so I said it would be alright if she rented the spare room. Three weeks later, she still hadn’t paid any rent and the head tenant hit me up for the money.
I told him it wasn’t my problem and offered to help him shift all her belongings out onto the driveway. She found a new place pretty quickly after that and I never heard from her again.
32. Their Stay Left Us Stymiedclose-up photography of red carPhoto by Vlad Tchompalov on Unsplash
My cousin and her boyfriend, who were both in their mid-20s, were in between homes. They couldn’t afford to rent anywhere, so my wife and I let them stay for a week. However, the week turned into two months. They took over our downstairs and left it filthy. They let their dogs relieve themselves all over the place, ran the air conditioner at freezing temperatures, and left her Tesla plugged in all day.
I had a $400 power bill and another $400 in carpet cleaning. It was a disaster.
33. Impromptu Partiersa couple of bottles and a glass of water on a tablePhoto by Corey Watson on Unsplash
My roommate invited two friends over, who brought another two friends over without asking or mentioning it. Those people, in turn, brought an additional person in. I took off to run an errand. I told them there were some snacks in the fridge and where the chips and salsa were. I was gone for less than 30 minutes. When I got back, what I saw made my blood run cold.
A freshly purchased bottle of high-end booze I had just brought home was 90% consumed. I also found out that about half that crowd was underage and they were now too tipsy to get themselves home. They had parked in my roommate's wife's spot and she had work that night. The next day they stumbled out around noon, leaving the place a mess.
Not one of them offered to help clean, and no one offered to replace or compensate us for any of the booze they had during their impromptu party. They were never invited back and the one time one of them tried to "just drop by" with another unwanted guest, they were asked to leave.
34. A Series Of Unfortunate Eventsman in white and blue crew neck t-shirtPhoto by Ryan Snaadt on Unsplash
I worked the overnight shift. My brother was in town with no place to stay. I didn't really want him at my place but it was cold out. While I was at work, he had a friend over. They drank a bunch of mini bottles and left them on the living-room floor. He dug through my closet and found two candles that were gifts I had planned on giving. He lit both and never blew them out.
He opened all the windows on one side of the ground-floor apartment and turned up the heat. I left him a guest towel, as well as an extra one. I told him to wipe the bathroom floor because it would get slick. He used MY towels instead. I also had a tissue box in every room, but instead, he opened a new roll of toilet paper for said purpose.
I came home to the door ajar, lit candles, the furnace running, windows open, smoke butts and ashes in my non-smoking place. I could easily have been evicted.
35. She Was A Wrong Numberwhite and black ip desk phonePhoto by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash
When I had my first apartment, my friend's older sister lived in the apartment below. The sister and her boyfriend were always fighting, and you could hear them through the floor. During one particularly bad fight, he broke their landline phone. So, she came to my door and asked if she could come inside and use my phone.
I told her she could and to make herself at home. I still can’t get over what she did next. While I was distracted by something, she unplugged my phone and took it down to her apartment. She didn't give it back for a day and a half. I could hear her inside talking on it when I knocked on the door. Not only that, she just wouldn't answer the door.
36. All Washed Upwhite ceramic plate on black dishwasherPhoto by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
I had a houseguest who was dating my roommate. He didn't leave for six months. He ate all our cheese and used all our dishwasher tablets on "re-running the dishwasher because it had done a bad job." Because he was dating my roommate, she undermined all our attempts at getting him to leave once we realized he was a freeloader.
37. He Just Couldn’t Take A Hintman sitting on couch while smilingPhoto by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
My sister and her best friend at the time were at our house hanging out. It was getting late, so she said he could stay the night and leave first thing in the morning. However, it was the type of offer that you don’t take someone up on, rather the host just says to be polite. He ended up staying for three days regardless of what my sister said to him to get him to leave without being rude.
He didn’t pick up on any hints that we didn’t want him there any longer and that he had overstayed his welcome.
38. He Was Running Me On Emptyclear glass bottlesPhoto by Tony Wan on Unsplash
I had a friend who became homeless after missing his rent and being evicted, which I didn’t know at the time. I offered him my couch for a few days to sort himself out. He kept leaving the air conditioner and all the lights on while I was at work. He also drank about $500 worth of my booze cabinet, left hairs all over, and never did his laundry. He just left it for me to do. But the final straw was yet to come.
That came when he started eating all of my food for work, which I had specifically told him not to do. I took my key back, locked the door, and told him to pay me about $250 for two weeks of rent, which is how long he stayed. He somehow came up with it and I gave him back his stuff. He then proceeded to leech from other friends for a few weeks before someone bought him a ticket home.
39. He Was Nothing But A Heartacheperson holding silver iphone 6Photo by Omar Al-Ghosson on Unsplash
My cousin moved in with my grandparents. Things started off well. However, after about a month, he stopped doing his laundry and picking up his room. All he would do is work part-time and play video games until late at night. Then it all fell apart. He quit his job for another, then subsequently got fired from that one, and found another as a food delivery driver.
Even though he was working, he wasn’t helping my grandparents with any of the bills. Not only that but he was often gone during both the day and night, which made them worry. A few weeks passed, and he admitted to my grandfather that his "working" was actually him staying in the parking lot near their condo, just close enough to have the WIFI reach his phone for him to use it.
My grandparents were upset, as they were seeing him dig a deep hole for himself. My cousin would also text my brother and me pretty frequently to see if we could spot him a couple of hundred dollars, saying that he would pay us back. Knowing he never would, we never gave him a cent. Months passed and he met a girl online. Finally, it looked like things might change. He decided to move in with her.
He asked my grandparents if he could take their guest bedroom set to furnish the apartment where he and the girl were going to stay. He then went MIA for a couple of months. He showed up at my door out of nowhere and told us he was living about two and a half hours away. But, that didn’t last long. The next thing I knew, he was back home, back to square one.
The saddest part about all of it was that he sold the bedroom set my grandparents gave him, never paid them a cent for all of their troubles, and never gave them a thank you or an apology for giving them the unnecessary heartache he gave them. My grandfather still talks about my cousin with sadness in his eyes for what he put them through.
40. Tinder Troublepug covered with blanket on bedspreadPhoto by Matthew Henry on Unsplash
My roommate had asked me a month in advance if a girl, who was moving from another city, could stay over for a couple of days. They had only met virtually on Tinder a couple of weeks prior. I said yes. The week of, he asked me if she could stay a week. I sighed, but agreed. I didn’t know it yet, but I was in for a serious nightmare.
On the day of, my roommate called me at work and asked if she could bring her dog over and told me that she was on the way. I said absolutely not, but he guilted me into agreeing by saying she would be homeless if we didn’t let her stay. This girl stayed with us for a couple of days. That’s when I made a chilling realization.
I noticed she was neglecting the dog. It was severely underweight, it had blood in its stool, and she left the dog in its cage for up to 20 hours one day. I came home from work to find the dog had peed and pooped on itself and was starving. I ended up having to take care of the animal and all of its needs. She would come home, let the dog out to go, and put it back in the kennel.
I was furious one night and told my roommate that I did not care how homeless she was, she needed to get out or I was going to void my lease. He gave her $100 and told her to get lost and find a motel.
41. She Was A Relative Nightmarewhite and brown dog plush toyPhoto by Clarissa Watson on Unsplash
When I was about eight years old, we had an aunt come stay with us for a short amount of time. My parents let her stay in my bedroom. She decided on day two that she wanted to “help me decorate” and basically turned my bedroom into her own room. She took me shopping and denied every single thing I picked out. I figured I could change it when she was gone, so I didn’t make a big deal over it.
A couple of days later, I came home from school and all my stuffed animals were gone. I had a collection of about a hundred stuffed animals. When she told me she had thrown them out, I lost it. I went off on her and told her to get out of my house while crying frantically. My dad made his only sister go find a hotel for the last bit of her vacation. I haven’t seen her since.
42. This Situation Stunkwoman in white bathtub holding clear drinking glassPhoto by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash
When I was renting an apartment, my roommate had their girlfriend stay over every day for two months. She would take a two-hour bath and would never flush the toilet, as she was "saving water.” She also would cook without cleaning up and her food was always terrible, and she refused to use any hygiene products. When they finally broke up, she had the audacity to ask us to let her live there because her parents had kicked her out.
43. He Dung Ditched Uswhite toilet paper roll on white tablePhoto by Claire Mueller on Unsplash
I had a friend who came over, used the bathroom, and clogged the toilet. He panicked. He got poo everywhere—EVERYWHERE. It was on the floor, sink, walls, you name it. There was more stuff out of the toilet than in it. He came out after using the bathroom and said he had to leave. My mom made my dad clean it—she wasn't about to mess with that situation.
44. Rise And Shinea close-up of a person's footPhoto by Malik Skydsgaard on Unsplash
My mother's sister would usually come in very early in the morning. She wasn’t a quiet person. She would be in the basement, talking to my grandmother. However, she wasn’t talking, she would pretty much be shouting the whole time. Therefore, if you happen to be asleep at 8 AM, on a Saturday after working the night shift, when she would come in, you would be awake in about five minutes.
45. The Moonshine Did Him Inman standing in front of LED bulbsPhoto by Xenia Bogarova on Unsplash
I had a friend who was a big guy that could hold his booze—he said he was from the Appalachians. I had another friend from there that gave me some peach moonshine. I didn't touch the stuff myself but gave it to my friend in the mason jar. Not only did he throw up the entire way from the porch, down the hallway MISSING the bathroom, but, he knocked everything over that was in his path. Then he passed out, leaving me to clean up.
46. I Couldn’t Sink My Teeth Into This OneOral-B Ultra floss dental floss containerPhoto by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
A relative and his second wife were staying at my place for a month. She came down with the flu and was bedridden. However, she joined the rest of us for dinner in the evenings. While she would be sitting there with the rest of us, she would start flossing her teeth—every night. As if flicking her oral debris everywhere wasn’t bad enough, she would sit in the living room blowing her nose and piling her used tissues on my $10,000 leather couch.
47. What A Scream!boy in white crew neck t-shirtPhoto by Xia Yang on Unsplash
My roommate’s friend was staying with us. Within a week, they used my food and expensive shower products. Not only that, but they let their child run screaming up and down the hallway for hours without stopping. They even looked at me like I was a weirdo for being out in my own kitchen. I was ecstatic when they finally left.
48. Gettin’ Busy Bodieswater from round gray stainless steel shower headPhoto by Carson Masterson on Unsplash
My fiancée invited her friend over for the weekend and she ended up bringing her boyfriend with her. They ended up staying for two weeks. During the first few days, they would go to the bathroom and “shower,” except their showers lasted about an hour. They were quite obviously doing the deed but left the shower running the whole time trying to cover the sound of her moaning and their bodies slapping together.
The second time they did this we told them we knew what they were doing and they could continue to do so only if they were willing to pay the extra amount for the water bill for running their “showers”. However, this caused them to just start randomly doing it whenever we left the room. One day, we were making them dinner in the kitchen and there was a little window where you could see into the living room.
I heard a noise and looked in to see the duvet moving up and down in a way that was obvious what they were doing. My fiancée and I just stood in the kitchen waiting for them to finish and then they complained the food was cold. Towards the end of the second week, I went to pick up my fiancée from work and we came back to see them both butt naked on our sofa.
They saw us come in and didn’t stop, just carried on. It was at that point we asked them to leave. Needless to say, my fiancée was not friends with them after that.
49. It Looked Like Something Out Of CSIpair of white sneakers beside vacuum cleanerPhoto by No Revisions on Unsplash
I took in my niece because she was kicked out by her landlord. I gave her a month and she left the guest bedroom a total mess. It was so disgusting, it’s unforgettable. It looked like someone had been murdered there. I had to have professional cleaners come in. The carpet was gone as she threw all her trash on the floor. She left her tampons and dirty clothes everywhere.
She even had bowls of food that had grown their own ecosystem. I took pictures of it all and when relatives chewed me out for sending her packing, I just sent them the photos.
50. Sunday Dinner Disastergrilled meat platterPhoto by Ahmad on Unsplash
My dad had a cousin who was schizophrenic. He used to come over every Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday for dinner with us. One time my dad made some good KC-style BBQ with ribs and baked beans. My cousin's digestive system couldn't handle it—but it was what he did next that was the problem. He went to the bathroom and got sick absolutely everywhere and didn't tell anyone.
He went straight back to watching the football game in my dad's man cave with my parents. My sister walked in after him and told me. I had a look and was shocked. We went to the man cave to tell my mom because my sister was about to pee herself and we weren't going to even try to clean it. My mom totally didn't believe us.
We finally convinced her to come into the house and see for herself. She screamed and got my dad, who had to clean it all up.
There are levels of intelligence.
If not everyone can remember facts and figures quite as well as others, they might be more perceptive of human nature and how things work.
This is why it's important to avoid judging someone who might make a mistake, or has trouble figuring out how certain things work.
That being said, every now and then we've all found ourselves in a situation where we honestly can't believe something we just heard coming out of the mouth of an adult.
Something so inaccurate and/or illogical that we can't even find words to describe how we feel.
Dumbfounded would be an understatement.
"What is the dumbest thing you've heard an adult say?"
Legend Has It, I Hope?
"She said mountains were created by men shoveling dirt."
One Or The Other Dear...
"It's just a fact in my opinion."- ShowMe_Your_Panties
“'Facts can be wrong'."
"'Only opinions can be always correct because it’s my truth'.”
'From a 28 year old woman."- dizzzzzzzzzzzzzz
We Can Learn A Lot From Our Children, But...
"Children don't need to be educated, they will tell you what they need to learn".
"Her 3 year son is running on the street, decides when he goes to bed and is very aggressive towards children and grownups.."- Placeboooooo
"The more you drink, the less attached you'll get to it, thereby making it easier to quit'."
"Some dude on Discord in response to a post I made about quitting alcohol."- tuffguy1992Drunk Cbs GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"'Things will get better for us when the baby is here'."- champsammy14
Someone Didn't Pay Attention In Anatomy
"After my dad got prostate cancer, an adult asked my wife how likely she would be to get prostate cancer and when women should get their prostates checked."
"I’m the dumb adult."- WangHalen
At What Cost Though?
"Heard an engineering student say 'smoking is actually good for you because it makes you lose weight'."- UnluckyInflation4130
A Few Million Miles Off...
"Me and my grandma got to watch the sunrise on top of Mt. Haleakala in Hawaii."
"Off in the distant horizon we could see an airliner jet crossing the sun's path."
"She was horrified that the plane may have crashed into the sun."- darkshark9
Terrified To Know The Context
"'They don't need anesthesia; newborns don't feel pain'."- BitCritical1049
How Long Have You Got?...
"I work in retail."
"The limit of stupidity does not exist."- bbix246Black Friday Thanksgiving GIF by NBCGiphy
Easy To See Where He Got Confused...
"I was at work talking about how my rabbits had babies, a guy I worked with thought rabbits hatched from eggs."
"Because of Easter and Easter chicks and rabbits."- Cannibal_Cyborg·
Wrong On So Many Levels...
"Years ago I was able to visit the National Mall in D.C."
"As I was walking near the nurse's memorial, I heard a mother explain how the nurses were so brave in the Vietnam war."
"Then the child asked if we won the war.'
"She said yes."
"Then the child asked why we were fighting in Vietnam."
Maybe They Shouldn't...
"Planes don't fly in the rain."
"Work today proved that's false."- bpanioGiphy
We've all had an embarrassing slip of the tongue every now and then that we deeply regret.
Do you have any examples you'd like to share? Let us know in the comments below.
One of life's greatest turn-ons is a person who knows how to flirt.
You throw in some charm. Some wit. Some sex appeal... and BAM. Instant love connection.
It's almost an art form.
Unfortunately, far too many people have missed this memo.
A good flirt should make one quiver, not shake in fear.
There is more than one way to ruin a flirty moment.
Redditor grayspot94 wanted to hear cringe stories about the ways to NOT try and seduce someone, so they asked:
"What's the worst way someone tried to flirt with you/turn you on?"
The amount of stories I could tell y'all from my NYC club days.
We don't have the time.
A What?Best Friends GIFGiphy
"One time at a house party a girl whispered in my ear 'Have you ever licked a caterpillar?' Then tried to get me to come home with her. I never figured out what that innuendo was supposed to mean 😅."
"Kissed me out of the blue. Not a bad thing in and of itself, I was into her, she was into me, and she knew how shy I was so she made the first move. The issue was that shortly before she kissed me, she had eaten a Snickers bar. I'm allergic to peanuts."
"His lips, tongue, and whatever else she lobbered on quickly turned an ugly mottled red and swelled up until he couldn't talk, which means he couldn't even tell her what was wrong, as he desperately sought medical attention. Oh, sweet memories of young love."
"I (M) went out to dinner with a group of friends. One girl said to the whole table "I'm waiting for the man I love to realize that the love of his life is sitting directly in front of him. She was sitting directly in front of me."
"Yes, everyone at the table realized what she meant and got very uncomfortable with her. Myself included."
"Backstory: She directly asked me out a few weeks earlier but I told her that I don't like her that way. Nevertheless, she persisted (and got rejected again)."
A Bad SettingTaye Diggs Wow GIF by BounceGiphy
"I had a woman hit on me at an STD testing clinic. I definitely respect the game, but I was there to get tested because I had just gone exclusive with someone and wanted to get checked up before we stopped using condoms."
"Imagine the pick-up line for meeting someone at an STD clinic: 'Do you come here often?'"
Read the room people.
Not just the people in it... the ACTUAL room!
Swing or DuckRonda Rousey Fighting GIF by WWEGiphy
"Hosted a party in college with some friends, a girl that was trying to talk to me wanted to prove how strong she was and how good she was at boxing."
"Threw a mean haymaker right across my jaw. I randomly met up with her two years later at another random party. She introduced me to her friends as 'the cute guy I punched in the face.'"
"Just to clarify, it wasn’t a malicious act. She asked if she could show how strong she was by punching me and I said 'yes' not paying attention to what she was asking."
Weeks Gone By
"Borrowed my iPod and returned it. I put it in my desk drawer and forgot about it. She got real cold and distant and I just let it go. About 6 weeks later I saw the iPod in the drawer, charged it up, turned it on, and found she had left nude photos of herself."
"I feel like people aren't appreciating how labor-intensive that was. She had to take the picture with a separate device. Upload them to a computer. download iTunes, and update java. Upload those pictures to the iPod."
Don't Knock on My Door...
"My neighbor recently knocked on my door at around 10 pm to drunkenly tell me I was the pinnacle of masculinity because I leave for work at 7 30 every morning. Said she woke up to the sounds of me leaving and she is 'kind of in love with [me].'"
"Then she asked if she could kiss me, I said no, and she went ahead and tried anyway. Then she got all upset when I pulled back from her. There were tears."
"Spent the whole conversation, trying to figure out how to remove a person from my doorway."
"Context - I only speak to this woman roughly once a year when she appears at my door drunk, though usually she just asks my name for half an hour. Or asks if I am gay."
But Who Hates Tapas?Sassy Finger GIF by ProfeBGiphy
"As I yawned with my eyes closed, as one does, he placed his index finger inside my mouth. At a dinner party, with several other people at the table."
Oh my word.
Who raised these people?
Even wolves have better romantic etiquette.