This article is full of disturbing and unnerving theories.
There's a lot of talk about heavy topics like "good" and "bad" ways to die, worldwide catastrophic events, etc.
One Reddit user asked:
What is the scariest theory you know about?
Here are some of the more unnerving responses.
GRB Bye-Bye
I saw one about the potential of a specific type of supernova that would essentially fire out beam of radiation (or some other kind of energy.)
If it hit earth, we would see the entire sky covered with auroras. This is the ozone layer burning off and the last thing we would see before we all die, guess at least we get a pretty lightshow to end on
- grizwa
Astronomer here! You are thinking of a gamma ray burst (GRB).
However, for a star to do this to earth it has to be extremely close to us (within a few thousand light years), a distance within which we can see the bright, almost going supernova stars well, and the beam is just a few degrees wide and has to be directed exactly at us.
As such we don't think there are any GRB-killing potential events near Earth. They're also just so darn rare- we estimate a galaxy our size produces one every million years or so.
Serial Failures
michael c hall dexter GIF by ShowtimeGiphyIt is speculated that there are over 2000 active serial killers in the US alone. It makes you realize that many of the serial killers we know of today--- Bundy, BTK, Gacy, are ultimately failed serial killers.
It's like that Usual Suspects line--- " the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist"
Doesn't help that the entire profile of a serial killer is so well known that any serial killer with half a brain cell would be subverting it intentionally. The only serial killers that fit the standard profile of a serial killer are the most compulsive, incompetent serial killers.
If you're only looking in places where there's a pattern for a serial killer, a serial killer without a pattern is hard to trace. Add in "professional" serial killers like Israel Keyes and you have numerous types under the radar.
Non-Zero
Every year there are a non-zero number of near miss nuclear detonations.
I.e. through faults in the system a nuclear warhead is almost launched/detonated. In 2005 it was reported that Russia had 26 such near miss events.
As far I'm aware no stats have been published since and no info for the US has been made public, however it is believed:
a) the US had a higher number of events in the same year, and
b) as they are typically caused by aging equipment and the numbers were increasing prior to that year, the number of events each year after likely kept increasing.
Never Ending Story
I remember hearing one theory that every time we "die", we instead instantly switch to an near exact universe were we didn't die, as if nothing happened. Other people's death remain the same since it's not yourself.
For example if you were to be hit by a car, in other peoples perspective you die, but in your own instead of dying, its a near miss, or you're injured but don't die.
- Vexilus
What gives me a serious mind f*ck with this theory is that in this situation, you would transport to a universe where you still interact with your friends as if nothing happened but that those same friends are mourning you and go on without you in your previous universe. And what if you live in a universe that is one of your friend's alternative universes that they transported to after they died?
Overall, what if our personal universe is completely based around one person's death and their eventual transfer to the universe you're in? Super weird.
Losing Your Head
That, after decapitation, you may still be conscious and somewhat aware for at least a few seconds.
- Grinnzy
Also time and your perception of it is relative, and I have no idea WHAT it would be relative TO in this situation. So seconds could be soooo much more. ((Shudder))
Believe it's something like 2-28 seconds before you brain looses enough oxygen to fail.
Can't remember who it was but "death by beheading" (think it was using a guillotine) was stopped in the one country because the ruler was present and the guy who lost his head stared and blinked at him for long enough that he decided to stop killing people that way.
- TAOJeff
Selfish, Cowardly, and Scary
That theory about what happened on the missing Malaysian flight.
From looking at the evidence and the most likely scenario, (that being the pilot committing suicide) people have been able to piece together possible scenarios that happened on the plane. One of which is that shortly into the flight, the pilot deoxygenated(?) the plane, and accelerated to a high altitude, killing all on board very quickly.
He then flew for hours and hours south before crashing the plane. It's scary to me because he would have been flying in an isolated part of the Earth, with nothing ahead of him other than the South Pole. That isolated plane, flying in the dark, with hundreds of dead strapped in their seats...
The nearest city, Perth, is still asleep and only beginning to wake up. There is no one, and nothing. To think of that man, flying with all those bodies in the dark to nowhere is very scary.
So selfish, and cowardly, but also very scary.
Permafrost
As Artic permafrost melts, it will release diseases that have been frozen in the ground for thousands or tens of thousands of years, and life on Earth will have no immunity to them.
Wonder how the world will react if a disease suddenly infected the whole world. We're good at following orders and social distancing so it won't spread that fast right
To The Left, To The Left
beyonce queen GIFGiphyThe Great Attractor.
Over the years, scientists and astronomers have charted out space and we have a fairly good understanding of what's out there; planets, moons, stars, space, etc. Gravity plays a big role in showing what is attracted to what, moons around planets, planets around stars, stars around black holes.
But people have began to notice that everything out there in the galaxy, is slowly, SLOWLY but surely, scooting LEFT on our map of the cosmos.
Everything and anything is drifting ever slowly in one united direction and something hidden and astronomically massive is dragging us and all known & unknown matter towards it.
And we have utterly no say or action in the matter.
Carrington
The Carrington Event of 1859 might be something that happens on a natural cycle every 150 - 200 years or so, which means we are due.
A CME (coronal mass ejection) hit the Earth's magnetosphere and caused a giant geomagnetic storm. The entire ionosphere became charged and unstable with massive induced electrical current.
On the good side, such an event causes beautiful aurora ("northern lights") across the majority of the planet. On the bad side it's giant planet-wide solar EMP. It wreaked havok on telegraph systems, but they were about the only electrical equipment at the time.
If a similar event happened today, first the global satellite network would be annihilated, then any radio signals would break up (including your phone going dead), immediately followed by most radio equipment being fried.
Next, the power grids will go; not just a worldwide blackout, but power surges would destroy most of what's connected to the grid, including the chaos of the transformer and substations exploding.
Virtually every vehicle will suddenly shut off, and suddenly being very difficult to control will crash. Some heavily shielded military craft might survive, but in general commercial aircraft will suddenly fall from the sky.
All of this would happen extremely fast; from any one person's point of view it may seem to be instantaneous. If a bit stronger than the Carrington event it may also destroy the backup systems that protect critical infrastructure from disasters.
The Carrington event was over 150 years ago.
Earth been hit by significant (but much smaller) CMEs at least twice since then; they'd be enough to cause quite a bit of damage today, but manageable. A Carrington event sized CME had a near miss with Earth in 2012.
We actually have multiple solar flares hit our magnetosphere every year, just generally not that cause significant issues (though there are predictable events a couple times a year that interfere with some satellites for a couple hours a few days in a row)
Carrington event sized CMEs are common enough that within your lifetime it is pretty much guaranteed to see at least one or two more near miss events.
CMEs can be much stronger though. During certain parts of the 11 year solar cycle the sun regularly emits CMEs large enough that, if they hit Earth, would strip the atmosphere, boil off the oceans, and incinerate everything on the surface, sterilizing the planet.
There would be no real warning; depending where you were on the planet it would either be instantaneous or you'd have just enough time to see a glow in the sky from the wall of fire before it crested the horizon and engulfed you at several times the speed of sound.
GRBs are the only deadlier threat I am aware of.
The Bubble
We don't know whether the universe is in a true vacuum (lowest possible energy state) or a false vacuum (a local low, but not the lowest).
If the universe is a false vacuum, then at any point, at any moment, a quantum tunneling event could occur where that point spontaneously decays to a true vacuum. If that happened, a bubble would expand from that point at the speed of light that radically altered physics, instantly annihilating everything down to the subatomic level.
Since it travels at c, there'd be no warning, no way to see it coming. When it reached us you'd just instantly blink out of existence. Even if we are in a false vacuum, such an event doesn't become likely for at least 10 to the power of 139 years, which is an unimaginably big number - but it could happen at any moment at any point.
It could have already happened and the bubble could be heading straight for us, about to end us at any time. It's a great way to die as far as ways to die go, the scary part is just all planets, stars, and life that are or ever will be just up and disintegrating with no warning.
Not from a "it's bad for me" perspective, but a "everything that ever was or will be is just gone in an instant" perspective.
- fafalone
Reset
This is my theory or at least I haven't seen it before.
What if global warming is just the universe's way of resetting life before it gets too advanced? That's why we haven't met any other civilizations from other planets.
Kinda like a Rust server.
You'll Never Know
We are all strangers, including your family and your best friends.
No matter what.
You may know them, but they're different people truly. You will never really know what they are thinking of you or anyone in general.
They Won't Exist
It freaks me out that things that are so commonplace in nature won't exist by the end of our lifetime.
Eg. I went to Ireland and saw the dark hedges last year and the guide told us those trees are predicted to be gone within 20 years due to changed weather patterns and increased tourism.
Something so small but I remember seeing pictures of them as a kid and wanting to go there. Knowing they just won't exist quite soon is unsettling.
It Really Didn't End Well
GiphyThe Permian Triassic extinction event, also known as 'The Great Dying'.
It was the greatest mass extinction event in history, killing about 80% of all species on the earth.
One theory for how it happened is the Siberian Traps flood basalt erupting onto massive coal deposits, releasing an absurd amount of CO2, and causing catastrophic climate change.
Basically, climate change caused by burning fossil fuels has happened before, and it really didn't end well.
Strange Sludge
Strange matter.
Inside Neutron stars is a kind of quark soup. Strange quarks May naturally occur here which aren't usually likely to form matter. If the neutron starts was to collide with another it would spew out its insides.
Strange matter is perfectly stable and dense, therefore indestructible.
Whatever matter it touches becomes so 'impressed' by its stability, it will become strange matter too. If one of these 'strangelets' hit Earth, everything would just become hot dense strange sludge.
Dust
I have heard of a theory that if enough satellites get stuck in orbit, that if an explosion were to set the satellites in one direction around the planets orbit, that that one satellite would continue to crash into other satellites, causing those them to continue spinning with that force.
This would continue, the satellites breaking apart, becoming smaller and smaller, until the only thing left is a fine dust that is spinning in the planets orbit, causing a cloud to black out the sun.
And as much crap we have in earth's orbit, that genuinely worries me.
I think its called Kesslers Syndrome.
Blue
A Himba Tribe in Africa had a slew of words for the color 'green'... and not one for the word 'blue'. During a color swatch test, members of the tribe could distinguish between subtle shades of green at a glance, but due to a lack of a word for 'blue', could only identify a clearly and distinctly blue swatch half the time during testing. Possible Conclusion: Without a word for something, we might have trouble identifying that thing even if it was right in front of us. One Ref: [https://www.gondwana-collection.com/blog/how-do-namibian-himbas-see-colour/]
The Awareness Test: https://youtu.be/Ahg6qcgoay4
The Theory: without a word for a thing, we might not be able to identify or recognize a thing... even if it was right sitting right in front of us. Even if someone pointed it out to us. Even if we were told exactly what to look for.
What are cats staring at, anyway..?
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Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public
Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
– MrDDog06
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
– Bogus_34
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
– eerie_white_glow
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
– xdq
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
– Bec_121
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
– doeswaspsmakehoney
The Multi-Tasker
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
– thickening_agent
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
– therapoootic
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
– TheWarmestHugz
Ultimate Comfort
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
– crazyloomis
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
So Kawai
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
– HavingNotAttained
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
– _CozyLavender_
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
– Bi-Beast
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
– deanie1970
Honorable mentions start here.
The Savior
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
– sky_kitten89
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
– chris14020
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
Moostaken Identity
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
~ Marxbrosburner
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
~ FairyQueen89
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
~ millijuna
Oh, 💩
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
~ amerkanische_Frosch
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
~ Blacl-Owl
Stonewalled
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
~ sleepwalkfromsherdog
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
~ Duck_Whistle
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
~ csfshrink
Bling, Bling
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
~ notatravis
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
~ Youre_so_damn_fat
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
~ Wetworth
Ribbit
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
~ DdraigGwyn
Psych!
"Operation Mincemeat."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
~ ThePinkTeenager
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
~ ChipHazardous
Ape 💩
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
~ DeadalusJones
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
~ Freezemoon
Pied Piper
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
~ 3000ghosts
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?
Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Anyway...
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
Weight Watchers
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
~ hambone10
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
~ jungl3j1m
waitr
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
~ bravesgeek
GiphyHBO
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
~ stoneman9284
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
~ oreos_in_milk
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"Madness."
~ WoodSheepClayWheat
GiphyUSWest
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
~ Trickycoolj
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
~ ConsciousValence
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
~ CorporalBB
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"Firedog."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
~ Tiberius_Jim
GiphyBritish Petroleum
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
~ RandomAmuserNew
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
~ LurkerOrHydralisk
Amoco
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
~ anitabelle
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
Overstock.com
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
~ WhatsABuckland
Snoop Dogg
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
~ RomanOnARiver
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
~ GotMoFans
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
~ OpanaMan
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
~ GotMoFans
GiphyBooks-A-Million
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
~ lynnyfox
KIA
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
~ vinyalwhl
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
~ VulfSki
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
~ User_Deleted_Content
Mark Chan on Unsplash
Royal Mail
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
~ PonITdude
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
~ ShinyHead0
"Twitter to X."
~ sandiercy
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
~ Safety_Drance
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
~ tommyk1210
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
~ SagittaryX
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
~ Pinksters
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
~ temalyen
GiphyCity Landmarks
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
~ baccus83
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
~ NoVaBurgher
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
~ nonanarchist
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
~ keytarin
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
~ New_Simple_4531
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
~ SheBrokeHerCoccyx
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.
My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.
Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.
Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.
So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?
Well...
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?