Life is an obstacle course in survival. Every corner we turn and every breathe we take could be our last.
Danger is abound at all times. That is why it is so important to stay vigilant. We can't take superfluous chances.
Trouble lurks in all forms. It doesn't have to be a mass murderer, the neighbor's dog can be lethal.
It's all about navigating the minefield that is life.
Redditoru/Reddit807wanted to hear about all the times life has left us SHOOKETH to the bone by asking:
What's the scariest thing you've ever stood face to face with?
Everytime I get behind the wheel of a car, I pray. Recently it feels like everyone is driving like they're stunt doubles in Mad Max: Thunderdome. Evil and death are waiting to look us dead in the eye at any second. Others can elaborate...
CHARGE!!!
"An Emu at a hobby farm that had the sudden realization "Hey, maybe I should be in charge."
Butt Bite
"Wasn't face-to-face, more like face-to-butt, but I squatted to pee in the desert at night on a camping trip and a rattle snake started rattling about a foot behind me. Lost my mind and ran. Pee everywhere."
"Man, I go to sleep by a tree, as to stay away from owls, and then some human witch comes up and starts peeing on me! She's lucky I was tired and didn't feel like biting her in the tush."
Bad Strength...
"Believe it or not, but an ox. Those things are huge, and look like they could stomp things into oblivion... but they are actually fairly calm."
"Its crazy how strong buffalo or oxen are. They can stomp you into paste if they feel like it."
- Pagan-za
When in Australia...
"I was snorkeling in a lake in Australia that connected to the sea, there was a Protected fish sanctuary along the part of the shore I swam near so I decided to go take a look. It was fantastic, lots of fish a few turtles and just a lot of wildlife in general. I was having a blast looking at all the fishies when they all just completely bolted and suddenly there was no wildlife I could see. I turned around to find a big ole shark staring at me from about 10 metres away."
"Iwas so scared that I instantly started to back up, luckily I wasn't to far out from shore and I was able to make it back safely. From what I could see from shore, it hung around for about 5 minutes before I wasn't able to see it anymore but I didn't ever go swimming there again out of pure fear."
- N3ssaW
Bad Insects
"An aggressive 10cm tarantula."
"I've had the same experience with a baboon spider( its a kind of tarantula)."
"I kept catching it and letting it go outside and it kept coming back inside the house. I kept taking it further away and it kept coming back. Eventually I dropped it off about 1km away and it never came back. First time I tried to catch it, it hissed at me then jumped at me."
- Pagan-za
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Why is it always animals and insects? How are they so brutal? Did God make them that way as a joke? If I see a tarantula you can just bury me then and there!
Be Careful
red kangaroo eating GIFGiphy"A 7 foot tall Buck Kangaroo, he was sizing us up but there was three of us and only one of him so he moved on, Kangaroos will mess you up if you're not careful."
- Sean_A_D
When in the Water
"I was out swimming in the open ocean during a boat trip. Outta nowhere this giant freaking whale swims right under me. Whales aren't scary but it was so big and so close that I was just paralyzed. I really don't know what it was that made it so absolutely horrifying but it just was."
- daanimas
Frozen
"A huge Ethiopian hyena at a late night and alone, i was not more than 13 years of age. We stood 3 meters apart from Each other frozen for like 6 seconds, right in front of my house and then decided to run off back to the forest, which was very close. Wild times!"
In the Backwoods...
I was backwoods camping last year in early/mid September in Algonquin Park in Canada, and I woke up one morning to the skins of a twig cracking like a footstep. I peeked out over the edge of my hammock, and there was a bull moose standing about 10 feet away. I stayed very quiet and very still, and a moment later he wandered off into the woods. It was a very cool nature experience, but I don't underestimate how lucky I am that he didn't notice me there.
Old Faithful
bison GIFGiphy"A bison. I had just parked my car in the lot for the Old Faithful Inn and gotten out."
"I turn at to see where my SO was, and saw a full grown bison maybe 6 feet away standing in the grass, doing giant buffalo things. I took a quick selfie from behind my car and Noped it towards the hotel"
And Bull?
"A freaking moose."
"I was backwoods camping last year in early/mid September in Algonquin Park in Canada, and I woke up one morning to the skins of a twig cracking like a footstep. I peeked out over the edge of my hammock, and there was a bull moose standing about 10 feet away. I stayed very quiet and very still, and a moment later he wandered off into the woods. It was a very cool nature experience, but I don't underestimate how lucky I am that he didn't notice me there."
Explosion
"A burning pot of oil someone left on the stove as it exploded in front of me when I walked onto the kitchen to see what the smoke was coming from. A bottle of water in the cupboard above had just melted from the heat and dripped in according to the fire inspection. Scariest but the coolest thing I've ever seen that I never want to see again."
"The Dean of Mean"
"I literally bumped into MMA fighter Keith "The Dean of Mean" Jardine in a CD store in Sydney. We stared at each other but I wouldn't say it was face to face, more like face to sternum. The guy is huge."
"Mind you, after giving the first impression that he was scary he was actually pretty nice. He smiled at me, apologized, told me he had flown in from the US just that morning so was pretty jet lagged and not paying as kick attention to where he was going as he should, and walked away after apologizing again."
Hail King
nat geo desert GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy"A king cobra. It was a good 15 feet away from me, but the thing was like 10ft long itself. I was both fascinated and scared as frig at the same time."
- Maanavdv
Look Away
"An Elk. My gf and I set up camp and took a day hike. On the way back to camp we came into a clearing, and there she (I think she was a she) was. Walking towards us. She walk next to us for a bit. The path was lower than where she was by a foot or two (.5 meter) so my head ( I am 6'2" 2 meters tall) was about even with or below her back. Honestly I was trying my best not to look at her and stay looking straight ahead. There was some bushes up ahead that the trail lead between. It would naturally block her parallel path and let us keep going."
"She easily could have trampled us if she got the urge. Something about the whole experience made me think there was motherhood involved, but I have no real evidence of that. She just escorted us off her land. Scary and wonderful all at the same time."
- Efarm12
Brace for Impact
"The sight of a huge pick up truck barreling towards our car on a high way. Seeing it and knowing impact was coming... waiting... bracing. I thought I was dead and was so scared that I was going to die with people who I felt didn't love me. Impact...everything shattering... and then just... silence. I'm not sure if there was truly silence or if my adrenaline was coursing through at that point. I don't remember much after that truthfully."
- kiwimadi
Bad Pooch
"A dog trying to attack me. My friend showed up to the house unannounced with her dog. I opened the door and the dog jumped at me and started snapping at my face. I had to push it away. My dog was quick to attack it, which resulted in a dog fight. I had some deep scratches on my forearm. My dog ended up needing stitches, but her dog got the worst of it. I ended up being fine. Both dogs healed quickly. She never tried to bring her dog over again."
In the Storm
"Driving in a tour van with a full band and crew and pulling a trailer through an awful storm. The wind started to tip a passing livestock hauler over on top of us. We braked just in time, and somehow the trailer righted itself. We pulled over for a couple minutes to just gather ourselves. Quickly realized with the poor visibility, we shouldn't hang out in the shoulder too long."
mama got it...
"A charging mama moose when I was 12 years old. A charging grizzly when I was 14. A family member trying to carve my daughter out of my stomach (I was 8 ish months pregnant with her) when I was 25. Nearly dying giving birth to said daughter when I was 26. Finally an enraged meth addict/mental health client determined to "date" me, when I was 35. The last year has been basically free of near death experiences so that's been nice."
Roar
The Lion King GIF by Walt Disney StudiosGiphy"A mountain lion… walked up on it attacking the neighbors golden retriever, so I guess not face to face. But I was probably 15 feet away. There were a bunch of trees and I could hear something but wasn't sure what it was, until I walked around a tree."
"Still feel guilty about immediately putting distance between myself and them, but there would have been nothing I could have done for that dog anyway. 😣"
Lord there is just no place safe. We have to be on guard and on point with every breath. I feel like I can't trust a neighbor, a friend or my fish. Survival is way harder than we were lead to believe. God speed y'all.
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Reddit user Janine_18 asked:
"What's the one thing you'll never tell your SO?"
Love/Hate Relationship
"She loves her siblings and hates her parents."
"I hate her siblings and love her parents."
"They were very tight with their parents for the first 3 years of our relationship, and in 2017-2018 all hell broke loose so to say. My partner has no personal animus towards her parents, she is however extremely close to her older sibling who has a heap of problems with their parents."
"My partner follows their lead and it guides her own relationship with their parents. And the reason her siblings have huge problems with their parents is that they retired, moved 20(!) whole minutes away from their childhood home and went on a vacation for a month.
"They are apparently 'selfish', 'inconsiderate', and 'don’t think of themselves as parents'. This despite the fact that they call and visit for every holiday, birthday, promotion, celebration of any kind. Dog and babysit. Frequently host. Communicate well."
"No the absolute truth is that my partner's siblings are black holes and not great."
"Would 'I radically dislike your one sibling and don’t trust the other at all” be a viable middle ground?'."
~ Agreed_fact
Sweet Tooth
"A few years ago, my girlfriend put a candy bowl in our hallway at our apartment for Halloween. She came home that day to discover that nobody took any candy, and she was a little bummed."
"Over the course of that week, I'd take candy out before work or when she was asleep."
"She got so happy that 'the neighbors loved the candy'. She does this every year now, and I have to continuously swipe the candy and pretend it is the neighbors."
"It makes her happy, and I get free candy. Win win."
~ AlecsWebHair
GiphyIn It For the House
"That I know she cheated on me and the only reason I haven't left her is because the mortgage interest rates are a bit high so I can't comfortably buy her half of the equity we have in the house."
"I got a valuation, a mortgage pre-approval, and a lawyer all ready to go... But would only have about $21 per week to spare... I'd be screwed the first time a major appliance or the car breaks down..."
~ H_He_Metals
Mommy Dearest
"That her mother is a bad person in disguise of a caring and beloved figure."
~ Relative_Rich8169
"My pet name for my girlfriend is Bambi."
"She thinks it's because has big brown eyes, but really it's because I want to shoot her mother with a rifle."
~ airblizzard
Giphy"That's my mother in law. For her daughter, she'll do anything... to the point that it's overbearing and controlling and difficult to deal with."
"And for everyone else, she is one of the least empathetic people I've ever met..."
"She CRIED when Rush Limbaugh died, and she literally said the Proud Boys are like the Boy Scouts. But she'll drop $2,000 on Christmas presents for one person like it's nothing, so she thinks she's owed respect and kind words."
"I literally had to tell her at one point, 'If you want me to stop calling you a Nazi, buying me more presents or arguing with me isn't going to do it, you have to stop saying Nazi-friendly sh*t'. But she didn't stop, of course."
"She thought COVID was no big deal until a family member died of it."
"She also makes tons of snide comments about my work. I'm a lawyer in Big Law, I make great money but it's soul sucking and I never wanted to do this forever, I want to work for the government."
"She'll see a postal worker and say 'That'll be you one day, government worker, not a great way to provide for my daughter'."
"Her daughter, my wife, is a DOCTOR who is going to make more than I do no matter what job I work, and she herself is a dentist who worked until her banker husband could retire at the same time as her."
"She talks sh*t about how I made her daughter an atheist (I didn't, she did that on her own), but she herself has NEVER read the Bible and hasn't been to church in 20 years."
"She unironically believes in aliens, Big Foot, and ghosts, and thinks she saw Mother Mary in the sky."
"All the bad things I tend to think about Republicans (they don't care about an issue until it personally affects them, they have no standards except double standards, they use religion as a cudgel but don't actively live a spiritual life, they believe insane sh*t with zero evidence, they're old fashioned and judgy and can't accept that the world is changing around them, etc...) is her to the letter."
~ 2Charming-Fig-2544
Magic the Retirement Fund
"How much my Magic the Gathering collection is worth."
"They'll absolutely try to get me to sell some of it."
"It's my precious."
~ Ganthamus_prime
GiphyFirst Impressions
"When he and I first met, I was CERTAIN he was gay."
"He is very much NOT gay."
"And he will NEVER know I ever thought this."
~ ShinyIrishNarwhal
No Llama Drama
"When me and my wife first started dating, I had a dumb canvas painting with a llama and rabbit on it that I found at Walmart. I showed it to her and told her how much I loved it just because it was just such a dumb random thing to find."
"For some reason she took that as I love llamas and that they are my favorite animal. So now, every time she sees one or something with a llama on it I see her brighten up to show me and I get excited with her!"
"Llamas are not my favorite animal. Never have been. I don’t know how she made this connection, but i will never tell her otherwise because seeing her face light up every time is way better."
~ WhereTheChapstickAt
GiphyRelationship by Google
"I spend a couple hours doing research on how to make relationships work and keep her happy in the long run."
"She thinks I'm this awesome perfect guy but I just do what the internet tells me."
~ BadRobot___
Chemical Warfare
"He thinks I don’t fart around him because I’m too shy or polite."
"It’s really because they are so bad they could kill a horse."
~ Neonpantsuit
GiphyAre There Raisins?
"I don't like the potato salad she makes, and she always tries to make it as a treat for me."
"It's my mom's recipe, but doesn't taste like mom's."
~ Bean_Juice_Brew
*yawn* 🥱
"The spot you make me sleep in on the bed is uncomfortable but I lay there because you're comfortable where you are."
~ legacyrisky
GiphyConfessions
"We’re both in college, and last semester we both had a cold at some point. He had it much, much worse than I did, so I went to class and he skipped."
"Afterwards, I went to his dorm to share notes and take a nap. I was almost asleep, and I’m assuming he thought I was, because I felt him squeeze me and whisper, 'I love you so f**king much'.”
"It was the sweetest thing ever and I’m never telling him I know he did that."
~ scorpiomooon
Maybe a Farm Upstate?
"I definitely didn't kill that massive spider, and I have no idea where it went."
~ Cothak88
GiphySo, these weren't too awful, right?
What secrets are you keeping?
People's Wildest 'WTF Is Wrong With You?' Experiences
We all have that moment where someone we know says something so completely absurd, the only response we think of is 'WTF is wrong with you?'
Sometimes, it's something woefully inaccurate that you can't wrap your head around the fact that someone believes that.
Othertimes, it's something completely offensive and you regret your association with that person.
My college roommate was a girl I knew from my high school. I didn't know her too well, but we had some big things in common, so I figured it'd be fun to live with her.
This girl was half-Korean and talked a lot about racist people. At first, I let her rant, figuring maybe she or someone in her family faced some racism. I faced some myself, and I agreed with most of the things she said about racists. Eventually, however, I realized she was equating the word 'racist' with the word 'white.'
I spoke to her once, telling her she can't use 'racist' and 'white' interchangeably. She agreed to stop doing that, but within a few days, she started doing it again. She was a very bright girl, so I was a little concerned about this, especially since her own dad was white and was possibly the nicest man in the world. Not to mention, this made her and her siblings half-white too. Did that mean they were all half-racist?
I stuck by her for a while, but when she started saying things about what she wanted to do to racist people (once again using the word 'white' instead of 'racist'), I realized I couldn't be around her anymore. She couldn't talk about anything else after a while, and every time she spoke, I wanted to say, 'WTF is wrong with you?'
We did not room together the next year.
Redditors have stories similar to mine (and some even crazier), and they are eager to share.
It all started when a Redditorasked:
How To End A Friendship
"In college I used to kill time between classes hanging out with a guy who was from the same redneck county as myself. We didn’t really have much else in common, but he was nice enough and seemed eager to socialize so I figured why not. I wasn’t overly social myself and didn’t know a whole lot of people."
"One day we decided to go somewhere off-campus, and he drove us. While driving, on an interstate mind you, he proceeds to show me his handgun that he kept in his truck - not in a menacing way, but in a “Ain’t that cool?” way."
"I was not immediately frightened, but I respect firearms enough to recognize we are going like 60-70mph on an interstate in daylight, and nothing good can happen in this scenario. I calmly asked him to put it away because I was not comfortable in this situation at all. He then tells me “Oh it’s not loaded” and presses the gun to his head before pulling the trigger."
"Thank f**k he was right, but still it was a wild and frightening display of reckless disregard for his own life and mine for that matter in the event that he’d accidentally killed himself while driving us. I didn’t hang out with him much after that, certainly didn’t get in a car with him."
– omjf23
"“It’s not loaded” famous last words of many an idiot."
– GloInTheDarkUnicorn
The Worst Kind Of People
"When my dad was in the nursing home, they weren't running certain expenses, like ambulance rides, through his insurance. When I took over his financials, he was tens of thousands in medical debt that shouldn't have ever been charged to him in the first place. He was in numerous collections, and his credit score was tanked."
"When I complained to the nursing home director, he said, "Well, it's not like he's going to be buying a house or a car!" Then he laughed."
"My dad was paralyzed from the waist down and needed lifelong care, so he was never going to leave the nursing home. Even though he was technically correct, I gave him the "WTF is wrong with you look." Then I complained to HIS boss and he got canned a couple a weeks later. My dad's insurance was fixed pretty quick, too."
– MNWNM
"“Sorry, what was funny about that? Could you please explain.”"
– v3n0mat3
...Seriously?
"MIL told my wife she should divorce me bc I googled whether a lasagna should be covered with foil while cooking."
– Struggle-Silent
"This is my first laugh of the thread lmao wtf."
– koreantrvp
"It actually ruined this entire trip. It was at my BIL’s wedding, which was only close family (siblings + parents) and they had the caterer make a lasagna for an evening dinner."
"Father of the bride was gonna pop it in the oven and asked if it should be covered. I googled lasagna cooking instructions and said yes it should be covered and cooked at this temp. MIL said absolutely not!"
"Me and the father of the bride kinda gave each other a look and he covered it. MIL was furious and texted my wife that I was an a hole and she should divorce me before we had kids."
– Struggle-Silent
Hostile Work Environment
"Boss at old job told the team we needed to ‘get used to a healthy level of conflict, fear and anxiety in the workplace.’ I dipped so fast after that."
– Prestigious-Energy69
"Similarly, a boss told me that I owed him my loyalty because he was paying me."
– Kylearean
How To End A Relationship
"A girl I was with while we were still together just looked at me while I was driving to her house and said.” You know I would get over you faster than you’d get over me” I was like …… Tf did you just say?"
– omega91301
"Huh. And just like that I'm over you."
– Pineapple_Spenstar
"Honestly, that would absolutely do it for me. When I was younger, I would be stupid and hurt and argue. I'm past 50 and I got no time for that nonsense."
– Terpsichorean_Wombat
There Are Other Ways To Stave Off Boredom
"I was DD for some buddies who wanted to go to a particular dance club in Baltimore. They're all hammered, it's too loud and we've been there for several hours. Casually an older woman next to me chats me up and notices my eyes are nearly crossing from boredom. I explained what I was doing there and casually (stupidly) mentioned I'm a bit bored. This psycho BITES ME on the chest! Afterward says "Well ya ain't bored now, are ya??""
– Mike7676
"Well, were you bored after that?"
– DontWannaSayMyName
"I must say, I was not!"
– Mike7676
That Goes Both Ways!
"I'm a man who works with kids, and when I started this job, I was talking to one of my old coworkers about how every once in a while I'll get weird looks for being a man working with kids and my coworker said I deserved it because some men can't be trusted with kids. I was shocked and she went on to say that I did it to myself and deserve to be questioned about it. I immediately stopped talking to her."
– Dolhedew
"What? What in the actual f**k? Doesn’t she know there are women who can’t be trusted with kids?"
– Anonymoosehead123
That Escalated Quickly
"The lady that accused my kids of cutting the line. (They hadn't, I was watching). When I went to ask her what was wrong, she told me to go back to my own country with that sh*t. (I was born in Massachusetts.)"
"The line was to pet dogs at a Renaissance Fair."
– pasafa
Everything All At Once
"While alone with a coworker, he told me that "women in the work place will lead to the decay of the fabric of society" to me. A woman. He also asked me out, got an attitude when I didn't say yes and continues to walk around with huge incel energy. He always complains that he has no one to go home to yet refuses to look at himself as a possible reason."
– Nopeferatu31
"Sounds like they should learn something from the phrase, "if you meet one a**hole, they're the a**hole. If everyone you meet is an a**hole, you're the a**hole.""
– tmpope123
Ouch!
"I told a coworker my wife had died."
"Her response: "You're one of those bald middle aged guys with a dead wife.""
"Me: "Yeah.""
– WalrusCello
"I want to think this was a wholesome thought that came out wrong. An awkward attempt at dark humor."
– ThisUsernameIsTook
*Cringing*
"Had an otherwise normal co-worker who was completely convinced windmills will cause the earth to stop spinning."
– Shadowmant
"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"
– Torvaun
These are all crazy 'WTF is wrong with you' stories, but that last one blew my mind in 'how is it possible people think that could be true' sort of way!