People Describe The Scariest Encounter They've Had With A Complete Stranger
“Stranger danger" isn't just a rule for kids at the playground--it's a mentality that everybody should have. Maybe it's my paranoia or the fact that as a woman I get catcalled every time I leave the freakin' house, but I personally believe that we need to be wary of strangers. And these stories are exactly why.
Here are some of the scariest encounters people have had with strangers. I'm not excited to read these- my anxiety won't thank me. Enjoy!
Being a former resident of New York City, I have had plenty of stories of people sitting next to me and saying creepy sh*t. It’s strangely comforting to know that other people feel that pain too.
Thank you, Marty.
It's a mix of the scariest, and the best:
I was eleven, and at the park with my cousin who was three. My cousin being a stubborn three year old told me to leave him be, and I sat out on the bench.
I was just reading my book, and occasionally looking up, until this like fifty something year old man sat down next to me, and just started talking.
He asked me, which kid was mine like four times, even after I made it quite clear I was uncomfortble, and then he get's all close to me, and was like:
"Do you want another one?"
So I started freaking out, until this homeless man, (who I later knew to be Marty) pulled me off the bench, and told him that he was lucky he didn't 'pop his jaw' and told me to go home.
I'm glad Marty showed up, because I don't know what I would have done.
Update: Marty says hello.
Never go to the library in a big city. Trust me.steve buscemi trunk GIFGiphy
Not scary per se but deeply disturbing. Random dude at my local library accosted me while I was enjoying a new sci-fi novel and was absolutely convinced I was his son. Kept telling me he was sorry and he never meant to kill my mother who he called Pink and said some other heinous sh*t I won’t describe.
Bat sh*t crazy but he sounded so rational and calm the whole time. Sh*t gave me the creeps for a long time after.
I was in high school and worked at a truck stop.
One night a trucker came in and stared at me for a long time. Wherever I moved to he was staring me down. I told him that if he needed anything that he would need to come to the counter and order it.
He just grunted and kept staring.
I'm not a small person and at that time I was in football, wrestling, and track. I was also at the gym 6 days a week. I was 190 pounds of muscle and teenager hormones. But the vibes I was getting from this guy were making me nervous.
I called up my other co worker and told them I was going to be in the freezer for a while. So I was stocking the freezers and coolers for a while and then went to the bathroom.
As I entered the bathroom the trucker jumped up and walked in behind me and just stood in there while I took a piss and washed my hands.
As soon as I got out I grabbed the trash bags and bee lined outside to take care of the trash at the pumps until he left.
My co worker asked me why the trucker kept following me after I finally came in.
I had no idea why. He never said anything. Didn't order anything. Just filled up his semi and creeped on me.
I've never been as creeped out by a person as I was with that guy.
The scariest encounters are the ones aimed at kids. Absolutely no sympathy for these monsters.
This is deeply disturbing.
When I was about 6 I was with my family at an incredibly crowded street festival we'd go to every year. I remember we had stopped to watch a band play for a minute or two, and then my mom (I assumed) took my hand and we continued walking.
After a few seconds I realized the hand I was holding was puffy and hot, and my mom's hands were always cool and more slender, so I knew it wasn't her hand I was holding. I looked up to see a woman with long blond hair and sunglasses grinning down at me. I said "You're not my mom" and she just laughed and said "That's okay, you can come with me anyway!"
Obviously my mom and dad had realized I was not with them at this point and were freaking out. My dad just happened to look in the exact right direction at the right time and saw this lady leading me away through a break in the crowd. He ran over to us, grabbed her shoulder and she dropped my hand and disappeared in the crowd.
I still can't believe he spotted us. It was like shoulder to shoulder people at this thing.
Wtf....yelling steve carell GIFGiphy
I was 16 and sitting on a train station with my mother. Some man came over and started talking to her.
After a while I looked at the clock and informed my mother that we needed to go because our train was about to arrive. He flew up from the seat and started screaming at me and wanted to fight me. My mother was confused and tried to explain to him that I was her daughter and that we really did need to leave. He just continued screaming which of course made teenage me scream back at him. She had to pull me away from there.
I never understood what made him see red like that. All I did was inform my mother our train was coming and we needed to leave.
I will never forget it. When Ghostbusters 2 came out I wanted to see it. My mom took me to the local theater I think I was around 9.
I needed to use the bathroom so I ran down the small hall and turned the corner. When I saw a much older man come out of the bathroom. When he saw me he stopped went back in. When I didn't move he opened the door peeking his head and arm out motioning me to come towards him. I probably looked like a deer in headlights I didn't move. It was frozen until he said: come on, come on in. Panic rushed over me and I ran back towards my mom, who said I was pale white. She quickly left the theater with me and went home. Stranger Danger worked out that day in the 80s.
I can still picture him, or atleast the picture my brain made of this memory.
So this one’s kinda obvious, but clearly there had to be a section about the horrors women go through every day if we dare step foot outside our homes. Here are a few intense stories.
Moms looking out for each other.
I dropped my son off at school one morning and then went to the grocery store with my infant daughter. It was so early, there was only 1 or 2 other customers. There was an older man with a walker that I didn't really pay too much attention to that kept popping up in the same aisle as us.
I got out to my car and put my groceries in and then was putting my daughter in her car seat when the man came up behind me. He asked me a question and when I turned to answer he shoved his walker into the back of my legs pinning me against my car inside the open door. I tried moving around but couldn't go anywhere except forward and he started pushing me down to the floor of my car. I was so scared that once he had me down there he was going to go for my daughter so I threw myself over her so my whole upper body was in her car seat and wedged myself in tight trying to cover as much of her as possible.
He grabbed me by the hair and was trying to pull me up when someone started honking their car horn. Another mom had been sitting in her car with her own baby asleep and had seen what was happening. Another car pulled up behind mine and the man ran over and got in quickly, obviously never needing the walker. The police were called but the plates on the car that he left in were stolen so as far as I know he was never found.
It can happen in your own home.Movie Stabbing GIFGiphy
I was taking a shower in the bathroom of the walkout basement. My 3 year old son was upstairs with my mother eating breakfast. I heard him open the door and told him "Mommy is in the shower, you have to wait."
The door didn't close but he didn't respond either so I asked him to go back upstairs and ask grandma for whatever he needed.
Instead I see a a shadow and outline of a hand touching the shower curtain and realize that there is an ADULT in the bathroom, not my son.
I scream and punch through the shower curtain. I don't think I connected, but I heard the man run out anyway. As fast as I could I jumped out and grabbed a towel to check on my son and mom. At the same time my mom was coming downstairs to see if I was ok from the scream.
The man never went upstairs and they didn't even know it had happened. The walkout basement door and window were open.
I called the police and they didn't find him, just my empty wallet about a block away. They did come back to me a few weeks later to let me know that they caught a guy in the area assaulting women at gunpoint and they think it was the same guy.
Never been so scared in my life.
Add: The most visceral part for me was knowing he was just standing quietly in the bathroom while I talked to him like he was my son. Honestly, I don't know why but that creeps me out the most. It felt really violating at the time.
I was walking home from the bus stop after school. About 15 years old. It was really not far but there were construction workers drinking on the side of the road. One of them got up and followed me home calling suggestive things. I honestly can't remember what but his intentions were clear. This was about 200m from home so I sprint home. We have an automatic gate so I realize he will catch me if I wait for it to open or he'll follow me in. So I climb over which is normally not easy but that day I flew over.
I was really shaken up. For me this story is actually about what happened next. Which is that I called my mom who had an intense job. She dropped everything at work, came home immediately, made me hot chocolate and pancakes. We had a long conversation where she validated my feelings and fear. She's the best.
Truck stops alone at night are the worst.
I was traveling home to California and I was in Nevada. It was an emergency so I'd packed and left at around midnight. It was about five thirty am or so in rural Nevada. I was at a stop on my usual route. I was very familiar with the particular stop, and it was just an hour or so before the California border.
Being a lone female, I concealed carry (I have my extended permit which allowed concealed through several states, except California) and I was at my truck at an empty spot, and I was in the cab disassembling and putting away my gun to be in compliance. Stepped out to go to the restroom and someone had managed to get close to my truck and was hiding along the passenger side, and I didn't know it until I'd walked passed them.
Whoever it was grabbed me from behind. I let out the loudest, most blood-curdling scream. Oscar-winning scream. But there was no other people at this stop. I fought and tried to buck the guy off of me, but I wasn't doing very well. Kicking lead him to lift me off the ground where I couldn't get him, and trying to break through his arms made him bend me over with him still behind me. I'm not sure how long I was screaming and fighting, but then I heard tires screech and I figured it was the creepy van my parents told me to avoid as a kid coming to take me away. Nope. It was a Toyota Corolla full of local teenagers headed to the gas station before school. The teens jumped out and ran towards us, and the driver stayed in the vehicle. The guy who grabbed me took off, two of the kids chased him through the desert beyond the gas station on foot, and the driver and the other kid made sure I was alright.
I send these four boys Christmas and birthday cards every year. I'm sure if it wasn't for them I would've been kidnapped or killed. Josh, Austin, Mason, and James, thank you guys.
The world is terrifying, my dudes. I've been harassed by my fair share of strangers, and it's the reason why I'm super careful just was walking around my neighborhood.
Protect yourself, protect your kids, protect your friends. It's scary out there
- People Break Down The Eeriest Thing A Complete Stranger Has Ever Said To Them - George Takei ›
- People Describe The One Stranger They'll Never Forget - George Takei ›
- The Scariest True Stories People Know - George Takei ›
- People's Most Insane 'We Need To Leave Right Now' Experiences - George Takei ›
- The Scariest True Stories People Have Ever Heard - George Takei ›
The dating scene can be really tough, and obviously one of the most difficult elements is going to be the breaking up period.
For this reason, some Redditors shared the advice they would give to someone who had only just begun to date one of their ex partners.
Redditor drifterdodger asked:
"What advice would you give the person dating your ex?"
Last But Certainly Not Least
"Which one? For most, I would just say I hope it works out better for you than it did me, but for one of them, I'd tell you to treat her like a princess because she deserves the best."
Mistakes Were Made
"Treat him well because he will treat you better than you have ever known. Make him laugh because he’ll make you laugh like you’ve never known."
"Let him hold the door open for you, he really wants to. Hold him back when he holds you and don’t let go."
"Don’t make the mistakes I did."
“She’s wonderful, you’re the luckiest man alive. Treat her with all the love and respect she deserves. Make her feel safe, secure, loved, and desired."
"Take it from me, don’t project. Work on yourself if necessary so that you don’t pass that on to her and hurt her in any way. And if you do hurt her, talk to her, communicate, talk about it, and don’t keep it all in."
"Just be kind and loving, put yourself out there, and fight alongside her, not with her."
Fun in the Kitchen
"She’s a great cook, so if you’re a foodie, then inquire about all sorts of exotic stuff you want to try. She’ll probably make it for you."
"Understand that when she says she hopes you have fun hanging out with your friends, she is actually furious that you decided to be with them instead of her, no matter how many consecutive nights you’ve spent together."
"This will then lead to her imagining several ridiculous and unrealistic scenarios of what you are 'actually doing,' which will then likely lead to her having a panic attack, and you will then need to leave whatever you are doing that night to go to her house and try to calm her down."
"So yeah, aside from that minor issue, she’s great."
Rating: Zero Stars
"Flee. Get away, far away. Change your number, name, appearance, possibly gender."
Would Not Recommend
"Check her phone once in a while. She’s cheated on you with pretty much every guy she’s ever met, and with every one of her exes, regularly."
Textbook Ex Material
"As narcissists will, she will make you feel important. Once you are hooked, then she will manipulate you to bend your will. You will never live up to her expectations, so you will be seen as not a priority."
"Lastly, the sex is meh and I always thought she felt dirty by doing it, so that’s why we stopped."
Healing Time May Vary
"She needs to fix herself. She never gave herself time to heal and looks for healing in others instead of working on herself."
"She’s kind and good-hearted, but needs healing."
They're Just Hangry
"You can end arguments with food."
"She loves steak but is scared of steak knives."
"She dislikes pork despite growing up in a region famous for its cuisine. Bacon is okay."
"If she falls asleep during the movie, let her lean onto your shoulder. She likes that."
"She can be quite funny with Facebook messenger text stickers but prepare for a shy and sweet person in real life."
"She loves to share her culture (mainland Chinese) and wants to learn about American culture so be well educated in Western sciences, arts, and history to answer her questions and equally eager to learn about hers."
"Take small steps literally. She was only 5'-0" with shoes and does not like a brisk pace."
"If it doesn't work out in person or things happen to where she had to go back to her homeland, don't expect a long-distance relationship. One day the messages do stop coming and your heart will break."
"If she's angry, buy her some chicken nuggets and milk tea."
"If she's sad, go to her house and make some instant noodles for her."
"If she's happy, well... good job, my friend."
"Make sure she drinks lots of water because she usually forgets to, make sure you play with her hair, and make sure to hold her hand whilst you're driving."
"Make sure to always say good morning to her, make sure that you prioritize her, make sure you give her lots of attention, and make sure you love her more than I did."
"I'm not crying, you are."
Depends on the Ex
"Usually, I'd say run, but since it's the a**hat they cheated on me with (knowingly), I'd say: you deserve each other so go to h**l holding hands; I wouldn't want you to get lost on the way."
"To the other ex's partner: You are privileged to be loved by such an amazing and kind-hearted person, so hold on to and nourish this relationship to the best of your abilities, and hopefully it will make you both happy to the end of your days."
"Take care of him. And if you ever decide to leave him, call me, I'll be there to pick him up."
Usually when people think of talking about exes, the horror stories are usually the first to come to mind.
Fortunately for these Redditors, there were easily as many sweet and nostalgic stories as there were problematic ones.
Money is one of those things that many people find themselves wanting more of, simply for the sake of security and safety.
But for those who have money in multitudes, it's almost baffling how willingly they will throw large quantities of it away.
Already cringing, Redditor DefinitelyNot203Eels asked:
"What is the most egregious display of wealth you've ever personally seen?"
Unique Employment Opportunity
"I have a friend who was employed by a very famous old pop star. She lived on-site in his mansion (which itself was a very cute cottage) and was paid more than I am with no rent or bills for said cottage."
"Her job? To open the curtains of his bedroom in the mornings, put on classical music, and gently wake him up for the day."
"That sounds sexual, but it wasn't sexual; it was more like, 'Hey, hey big star, I know you're still sleepy but it's time to get up,' etc."
"My boss who owns his own plane likes to do s**t like flaunt the keys to his cars... Like, flick them round up close to the camera on a call to show off the logo."
"I think it really bugs him that I don't 'ooh' and 'aah' because I don't give a f**k about fancy cars."
"What does p**s me off is that there's an item I brought after much saving, and it means a lot to me. He heard about it and just went and brought two so he could comment about it."
Her Annual Salary
"The company owner got a divorce, went on a shopping spree, and showed a receipt for tens of thousands of dollars to our receptionist as a way of showing off."
"What he spent was 80% of what she makes in a year. She was really uncomfortable and brought it to me as the HR (Human Resources) person."
A Yacht for Your Yacht
"The first time I saw a support vessel, I was blown away."
"It's a yacht that accompanies your main yacht, and it stores your toys in its garage, it houses some of your staff, stores your supplies, etc."
The "Just in Case" Staff
"I once met a woman while I was living in Singapore who was a full-time live-aboard chef for a super rich European who had several vessels, but only took a holiday on the one she worked on maybe once a year, but sometimes even more seldom."
"A full staff lived aboard full time, year-round, just in case this guy wanted to board, in which case they would sail to the port where he wanted them to pick him up."
The Biggest Cabin of Them All
"I worked in construction project management. We were building a log cabin for a very wealthy individual using western redwood. We had the piles, and foundation in place, the first floor completed, and about 25% done building the second floor."
"The largest base width of the redwood logs we were using was 44 feet, and the two-story fireplace that included 12 hearths was clad in architectural stone."
"The owner found out that the owner of a car dealership on the other side of the lake had just completed his log cabin with the largest logs being 46 feet in width. The owner got one of his employees to sneak onto the property at night and take measurements of the logs to confirm they were in fact bigger than the logs on his cabin."
"Once it was confirmed that the logs across the lake were bigger, he instructed us to take apart what has already been built, and source new, bigger logs with the smallest log being no less than 48 feet in width."
"He also instructed us to remove the architectural stone from the fireplace and replace them with actual stones. This required us to modify the foundation, as the weight of the fireplace increased by 1500%."
"After about 1.5 years, with no limit on overtime spending, the cabin was completed, with the largest log being 68 feet in width, and smallest being 48 feet."
"I ran into the car dealership owner at the lake town market one day and told him about the cabin we were building and how we had to pretty much start from scratch due to the size of his logs (and my boss's ego)."
"He simply replied, 'I had no idea your boss even owned a cabin here.'"
"I had an amazing side gig instructing tech nerds how to drive their fancy cars at the racetrack (it's called an 'HPDE' or a High-Performance Driving Event)."
"A rich tech nerd shows up with a new McLaren 12C, delivered in a McLaren trailer and staffed by an entire crew of McLaren techs and engineers."
"The driver was complaining about how the $12k brakes would burn up after just one day at the track and escalated enough for McLaren to wonder if something was terribly wrong with the car."
"After one session, he huddled around a laptop with the engineers and found what was wrong: he was just that terrible of a driver."
If You've Got It, Spend It
"A dude just kept grabbing stuff and having me ring it up. At first, I was like, 'You sure?' Then it eventually clicked that this guy was on a shopping spree."
"The shop had no human necessities. I don't remember the total by the end but it was close to 5 figures in USD."
"He pulled out his black AMEX that weighs like a pound and boom, a mile-long receipt."
"That was one of the few days I wished I made commissions."
"When I worked at Blue, Justin Beiber spent a stupid amount of money just to ski. He tried to rent the whole resort to make it private, but they wouldn't let him (which I still think is hilarious)."
"This area also has dozens of houses that are all valued well over $10 million, that all sit empty. They're just buildings that billionaires bought on a whim."
A Library Belle Would Envy
"I'm a custom metal worker. We did the penthouse at the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan, off of Central Park (the owner lived there). The floors were made of titanium plates."
"The wife had her own massive library and we had to make a rolling staircase that an old woman could move. We did, and it cost $80,000."
"We delivered it and she said, 'It’s too steep, can you make another?'"
"$80,000 later, she’s happy, and my buddy has a rolling staircase at his workshop."
Holy Mansions, Batman
"I once toured a mansion under construction in Dallas that was about 45,000 square feet. It was about 80% complete when I visited and the interior finishes were amazing."
"When I was there, the artisans were hand-carving the front door details and the indoor-outdoor pool was being tiled."
"There was a bowling alley, a gift-wrapping room, a two-story master bedroom closet with a spiral staircase, and other over-the-top amenities including a ten-car garage with an oil change bay."
"Shortly after I was there, it burned down under mysterious circumstances, and its demise made the national news and a cover story in the Wall Street Journal."
"A kid in my daughter's sorority drives a 2022 Lamborghini Urus. Every time I've visited my daughter, I see this car."
"It's filthy and covered in dings and scratches. My daughter says the owner has had it towed repeatedly by leaving it parked illegally in the street even though she has a space at the sorority."
"She'll just leave it on the street near the bars, Uber home when drunk, abandon the car until it gets impounded, and then pay to get her car back. Basically every weekend."
"In addition, my daughter says this girl's room is full of designer stuff that the girl bought for tens of thousands of dollars, wore once, and then threw on the floor."
"I should note that there are apparently several girls in this sorority with similar lifestyles."
It's Just a Parking Fee
"My boss had to impromptu get a new license to travel. When he was at the DMV, they said he had to pay like $100k in back parking tickets. He just set a card down and paid it."
"Apparently, he couldn't get a parking permit to be able to park in front of his house for some bulls**t reason, so he just parked there anyway, and just accepted that they were ticketing him like $100 per day for years."
"I work at a Zipline in Hawaii. One time we had a couple of people come in, and one of them was a Saudi prince."
"Any time someone helped, or even talked to him, he had his 'assistant' count out hundred-dollar bills and give them to them. He tipped his guides $3000 a piece. It was wild."
Paying It Forward
"While at a breakfast place I went to a lot in my hometown, I went to pay for my meal, and the waitress was like, 'Don't worry, it is covered.'"
"The next day, I went back. Once again, my meal was covered."
"Repeat for the rest of a week, and I was baffled."
"Apparently, some rich dude liked his breakfast a week ago and bought all orders for the following week and tipped all the staff $10k to keep it a secret and to cover the loss of tips for the week."
"It was a small mom-and-pop shop, but that still has to have cost him 100k or something. For a meal."
"There was intentionally no hype, and the other regulars and I were never told who it was."
While there were a few kind and generous people among the fold, the Reddit community could not believe the amount of money many people would spend simply because they could, even in support of bad habits, like terribly wasteful spending.
Having money certainly doesn't buy you manners or values.
Let's face it, being single is tough for a lot of us, especially when there's a special occasion coming up or all of our closest friends and family are in relationships while we're alone.
But the Reddit community wanted to remind the singles out there that there's more to think about in starting a new relationship than just feeling those butterflies.
Redditor Huge-Tackle-2152 asked:
"What is something everyone should know before getting into a relationship?"
Actions Above Words
"Love is an action and a choice. You need to make the choice to love someone you’re in a relationship with by showing that love to them."
"Love isn’t just the romantic feelings you have for someone. You have to actually 'do' love."
It's a Two-Way Street
"Not only are you getting a partner, but you also need to BE one, as well."
"Many people want to be in a relationship because they want someone, but they are not ready to actually be a partner, as well."
"Communication. If you're not communicating, then you're never going to be on the same page about anything, fights will never end, and problems will keep festering and come back to bite the both of you, etc."
"How you fight is important. It is so easy to hurt someone once you are close to them and you can't unsay things."
Accept the Dealbreakers
"Accept the other person as they are. You won’t be able to change them or who they are at their core, which means that if there’s something about them that’s a dealbreaker for you, don’t expect that it will ever change."
"Take that as your cue to leave or not start dating."
Accept Yourself, Too
"If you're pretending to be someone you aren't to get into the relationship, it's not going to work."
"You gotta cast your net a little further. There's a difference between putting yourself out there and pretending to be into s**t you secretly hate to land a partner."
Not Everyone Is Your Person
"Don't chase someone who has made it abundantly clear they do not want you. If someone is interested in you, there won't be any confusion. It will be cut and clear."
"If you find yourself trying to change fundamental parts of who you are, to be what someone needs, that's not your person."
You May Be the Problem
"Nobody is perfect, not even you. If you think someone is perfect, you are lying to yourself."
"If you think you are perfect, you are lying to yourself and everyone else. (And they are tired of your pompous bulls**t.)"
Your Happiness, Your Responsibility
"If you think the other person’s job is to MAKE you happy, everyone is going to have a bad time."
"Of course, you can and should contribute to each other's happiness, but the individual must choose positivity and levity and work on their inner demons. No other people can achieve that for you."
"Lust isn't love."
Be Honest About Your Intentions
"Here’s one based on a painful experience of mine. If you’re not looking for a relationship and only want a f**k buddy, don’t pretend you want a relationship just to keep getting someone’s attention."
"You’ve wasted their time and will negatively impact their ability to have a relationship in the future."
Don't Compromise on the Important Things
"But don’t compromise on your deal breakers or hope you can change someone. You should find someone who is compatible with you on the big things: what kind of life you want, if you want kids, how you handle disagreements, how you handle money, etc."
"Also, learn what common red flags for abuse are in relationships. Don’t compromise on those."
The Relationship Has More than Two People
"Have you met their family and friends?"
"Once you form a relationship, family and friends come along for the ride."
They Won't All Work Out
"Sometimes it’s just not worth fighting for. Relationships have hard times. But it shouldn’t ALWAYS be a hard time."
"Sometimes you just have to accept your energies don’t align and move on to allow yourself true happiness."
But Sometimes It's Worth It
"Love is a choice. You can be mad, you can be sad, you can be frustrated with your life, and it might reflect on your perspective of the other person, you might not even feel 'in love' at that moment, but you can always choose to love them."
"And usually, it's worth it."
While the subReddit could admit that relationships can be pretty great, there are many considerations that go into committing to it.
From staying true to ourselves, to connecting to the other people in our partner's life, there's much more to love than romantic dates.
Who doesn't enjoy a compliment every now and then?
But have you ever thought you were complimented only to realize you've just been insulted?
For some people those backhanded compliments are unintentional, for some they're very much deliberate and for some people it's actually their love language.
Whatever the purpose, some of these veiled insults are downright clever.
Redditor Ad3quat3 asked:
"What’s an insult that sounds like a compliment?"
"My uncle once said to me 'Nice tattoo, did you do it yourself?'."
"It's on my back."
What do I usually look like?
"You clean up well."
"Wasn't sure if compliment or insult or even how to respond."
Pandemic or party?
"You really look great with this mask!"
Lord, it's hard to be humble.
"You are very modest and have much to be modest about."
"You look well... Fed."
"Did you REALLY do that?"
Stay home next time.
"Thanks for coming!"
"You know, you really didn’t have to.”
"No one could possibly think more highly of you than I do."
"I love how you just don't care how you look."
"I could never do that I'd feel too awkward."
Depends on the person, right?
"I hope your day is as good as you look!"
"I hope you get what you deserve."
"May your day be as sweet as you are."
While some may consider it passive-aggressive, others just find these insults funny and clever.
So what's your favorite complimentary insult?