
Runaways Reveal Why They Left Home And How Their Lives Have Turned Out
[rebelmouse-image 18359469 is_animated_gif=Many people end up without a caring family and in an unsafe home, and are forced to leave to find a better situation. Although it's a rough road, the intention of living a better life usually yields results. In fact, many people are much happier off without the heavy baggage that was holding them down.
SpiritedBet2 asks:
People who ran way from home and never came back, where did you go and how's life now?
Some people need an uprooting to make things better
[rebelmouse-image 18359470 is_animated_gif=I'm on the other side of the globe. I backpacked for a bit but already had a job lined up. It wasn't the first time my parents stopped speaking to me, but I have no plans to return to my home country. Life's much nicer without them.
Sometimes the scars never leave
[rebelmouse-image 18359472 is_animated_gif=My cousin was kicked out/ ran away at 16. He lived in the woods for a couple of weeks doing the odd day jobs for food. My other uncle took him in as soon as the family realized he'd been kicked out. No one knew cause we all lived a good bit a way from him :/ he's doing good now. Owns a business and has a son. But it had an effect on his mental state unfortunately
There are so many willing people to help
[rebelmouse-image 18359473 is_animated_gif=I ran away just after I turned fifteen. I had been living with my dad, who's a narcissistic alcoholic. My mom didn't really want me to live with her. She lived a few states away.
Several extremely generous families took me in over the next three years until I finished high school. I had to change houses every now and then because my dad would threaten to sue whomever I was staying with. One man in particular was like a father to me and helped rehabilitate me (living alone with my dad my whole life had caused psychological issues and misconceptions about family, love, etc.).
I was able to maintain my grades and matriculated at a prestigious university. I ended up becoming a software engineer. I love my life now, and few people know about my backstory. I have no contact with my dad.
Life can take you in all sorts of unexpected directions
[rebelmouse-image 18357747 is_animated_gif=I started by traveling to India in the 70's, I am now in Amsterdam, married with a son. its been quite a ride.
Sometimes we are matched with the wrong parents
[rebelmouse-image 18359474 is_animated_gif=I left in the middle of the night at 19. So legally an adult, but emotionally I was really several years younger, in large part because of untreated mental health issues. I left for a few reasons. Pregnant and afraid to tell my parents, serious friction in general with my immediate family, and just kind of generally not at my most stable. I went to a friends house, and lived with them and their family to get it together.
I'm 33 years old now, have a 13 year old kid (14 in a few months), and am generally in a much better place. I got the psychiatric help I really badly needed, and got myself together. I get along much better with my parents now as well. I love them, but we really are just not the best people to live in the same household.
There is always hope
[rebelmouse-image 18359475 is_animated_gif=I ran away from an abusive foster home at 16. Ended up moving in with a family from my church and getting adopted by them. I'm 28 now and hold a bachelor's, I'm currently pursuing a Master's. I still struggle with emotional trauma but everything gets better with time.
A caring family is the best support system
[rebelmouse-image 18359476 is_animated_gif=After years of normalising being mentally abused by my mother who suffers from borderline personality disorder, my girlfriend made me realize it was the complete opposite of normal, I couldn't take it anymore and it was having a hugely negative impact on my own mental health so one day while she was out I moved all my stuff into my girlfriends house and haven't spoken to my mum since. Things are a lot better and I finally realise what it means to have a family that actually cares for me.
Sometimes you have to forge your own path
[rebelmouse-image 18359477 is_animated_gif=I ran away when I was 17, I was working two jobs and had been saving up a lot of money. I'm almost 20 now, going to college this fall semester to start a business degree and life is actually really good. I moved provinces, I work in a really good position in a restaurant which pays the bills and allows me to save. I have a newish car, a great boyfriend and couldn't be happier. Growing up I never knew people's lives were normally this happy.. it's like a breath of fresh air every morning I wake up.
Complete 180
[rebelmouse-image 18359478 is_animated_gif=Due to various causes, I came to be living with a very bad family member when I was a child. Unbeknownst to me or any of the nicer family, he was a drug dealer. You can put the pieces together - I did not have a fairytale childhood, obviously.
I allowed him and his buddies to think I was completely broken, biding my time. Then when I was older, I snuck out one night and hitched a ride with a kind trucker and he drove me halfway across the country where I reached out to my dad, who I had been estranged from (my mother had demonized him, none of it had been true).
I got myself into therapy, and after a while, applied for college, and now I'm going to be graduating with a computer science degree next May. I'm happier than I've ever been, and my dad and I are extremely close. :)
From homeless to sous chef
[rebelmouse-image 18359479 is_animated_gif=Stayed in my car for a few months. Then all over. Several states and jobs.
Now I live in Seattle and I'm sous chef at a pretty decent little French place.
Everything can mend in the end
[rebelmouse-image 18359480 is_animated_gif=Three of my mom's cousins ran away from my great aunt and uncle on their 16th birthdays. They each hitchhiked to Florida. My great aunt and uncle eventually moved to Florida and now they have great relationships with their kids.
Sometimes the grudge never goes away
[rebelmouse-image 18357130 is_animated_gif=Well, I left at 15. Lived with a friend and his family for about 6 months. They then moved away, and I moved into a seedy motel. While going to high school, and working 39.5 hours a week (so I wasn't full time).
I finished high School and moved to the city. I worked while applying to the army.
Joined the army at 17 by signing a declaration that I couldn't contact parents. Was in 3 years. ..
Life has been good. You know it's got its fair share of challenges but so does everyone . Never talked to the family again, though my father tried contacting me about a month before he died. I accepted a facebook request, though refused to call him or see him in the hospital the day he died.
A true success story
[rebelmouse-image 18359482 is_animated_gif=I left home at 14. My parents (who are devorced and both re married) are drug addicts. I spent the previous few years moving back and forth between my mom and dad. When I have had enough of watching one set (parent and step parent) strung out like a zombie I would move to the others.
When I left my uncle took me in until I turned 16. After that I crashed on family/ friends couches. I moved into my own place (roommate) at 18.
My dad and stepmom died a few years back. Not at the same time but a few months apart. My mom and stepdad are still around I talk to them maybe once a month. They only call if they need a ride because I won't give them money. It sucks to say but the wrong parent died.
I got married at 20 and I am an electrician. I have three kids and am still happily married.
You have to do what feels right
[rebelmouse-image 18346254 is_animated_gif=Ran out of the house at 17 and never went back. Best decision of my life and I'm happy with how things turned out.
Grandparents to the rescue
[rebelmouse-image 18359483 is_animated_gif=I was 7 when I left my mothers and never came back. Actually she kicked me out but thank god I knew the way to my grandparents house.
She was an extremely abusive alcoholic who was also a prostitute. I would get beaten for anything, like she lost the battery to her mobile phone and gave me 30 seconds to find it once, I didn't and went to school with a black eye. The school believed her when she said I fell off my bike. One night for one eventful beating I screamed too loud and the neighbours called the police, they came and asked me in private what happened. I told them I'd been naughty and was screaming because I wanted something, in reality I'd not done anything and she told me if I told the police the truth she would kill me. She chased me with a knife once, didn't feed me for days on end and the only food I'd get was my school lunches, she spent all of my birthday money on alcohol, sold my PlayStation, had several relationships with men who I believe tried to help her and me, but she refused and eventually there was men coming and going from the house. It took me until high school to find out she was a prostitute as everyone in town knew.
I wasn't a social kid, had trouble interacting with people and couldn't sleep alone or wet the bed for a few years after.
Looking back, being 7 and walking the mile to my grandparents house seemed like an eternity, but they saved my life and I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for them.
The detachment is real
[rebelmouse-image 18359484 is_animated_gif=I left home for good at 14. I went back a couple times and went delayed enlistment at 16. Went in military at 17. I have not returned "home"since. Traveled the world for 12 years worked all over the country. Have 5 kids and a dozen grandkids. Big family. Have anxiety sometimes about it, like going home to a place that doesnt exist. I could get on a plane and return tomorrow, but its gone. Everyone is dead or gone , there is nothing there from where i left, except in my head.
There are a lot of tough decisions involved
[rebelmouse-image 18359485 is_animated_gif=My grandpa ran away from home when he was 15.
His dad was rich opium smoking junkie. If my grandpa stayed in that environment, he would have ended up a junkie too. He always felt guilty about leaving his 7 year old brother, never found him while he was alive, but my uncle and my dad tracked him down 50 years later.
Anyone can turn into family
[rebelmouse-image 18359486 is_animated_gif=I initially subleased an apartment from an older friend, right across the street from where I worked. A few months later, I moved to college a hundred miles away. I had an academic scholarship that covered my tuition, but I lived off-campus and had to work two jobs to pay the bills. But I graduated and moved even further away. Life's pretty good now; it's been over a decade since I ran away. I'm happily married and we have a kid and a dog. Not in contact with my family of origin, though. They have my phone number, address, and email, and I've seen them a handful of times over the years, but it's been radio silence for the past five years. Pretty sure they want nothing to do with me. Oh well, I have wonderful in-laws so I'm not missing anything.
The strength and will power it takes is underrated
[rebelmouse-image 18359487 is_animated_gif=I left, moved myself 3 hours across state, lived in my car for 3 months while working a crappy job. Got an apartment finally, then a better job. Doing just fine now. 10/10 would do again.
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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