The human brain is obsessed with associations. As it navigates novel stimuli and experiences, the exposures of the past come up big for understanding what the heck we're looking at in a given moment.
Unfortunately, that holds true when the past stimulus was a huge jerk face.
Negative associations to common first names are a sad, but common truth in a long life. After all, with so many repeated names, a few are bound to be rotten eggs.
That came make things unfair for someone at a party that shares a name with the infuriating dingus of yesteryear. But sometimes a brain hangup is far more powerful than rational fairness.
AutisticAtheist999 asked, "What name is ruined for you, because of one person you hate?"
30 Years of Fuming Rage
Paul, the guy who bullied me every year from kindergarten through 12th grade. I'm 48 now, and, every time I meet a person named Paul, I automatically feel hatred towards them.
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Benefit of the Doubt
I have never met a Tyler or Ashley that wasn't an absolute piece of sh*t.
Sorry to those nice ones out there.
Worst Line of Work for Names
My spouse and I are both teachers... a lot of future baby names are ruined because of a**hole students we've had in our classes. Every Mike out there.
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Side Effects
Hannah. I dated a girl named Hannah and she ruined my life temporarily by stealing all of my friends and embarrassing me in front of most of my school by getting her brother to beat me up.
It's been 2 years and there are still side effects.
Certainly Narrows it Down
I worked in post secondary student housing for 15 years, supervising literally thousands of 17 - 21 year olds.
When it came to naming my son, I had to veto dozens of names my wife came up with because I had to deal with entitled sh!tbuckets as part of my job.
Liam, Jason, Tyler, Dylan, Ryan, Taylor, Cody, Kyle, Xavier, Zack, ...all were unacceptable.
You'll Know Him When You See Him
Callum.
If you're reading this you know I'll kill you if we meet again.
Authoritative Spoiling
Victoria
She was a manager at my previous job, the type to describe herself as 'brutally honest' when she was actually just mean.
An Unholy Trauma
Angel
Long story short: He does not want to see me happy, get a girlfriend, live a normal life, etc. He'd be better off named Demon.
Quite the Pattern
Anyone named Sam.
Every time I meet one they seem nice at first but that's only so then they can find a nice spot to put a dagger in my back.
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Casting a Wide Net
Abigail, Abby, Abbie, Abbe, however you spell it.
They're not to be trusted.
Hard to Recover From That One
I always loved the name Theo for a son, and always had intended to name a son that.
In late high school my girlfriend at the time told me she was pregnant and we decided we were going to do the whole thing. Told our parents, started getting our sh*t together. Decided if it was a boy we were going to name him Theo and were working on girl names.
Then, after a month or so of this, she told me she had miscarried. We broke up about a year after that, and I learned when we broke up that she had faked the whole fu**ing thing. Decided to fake a pregnancy to 'test my loyalty.'
May Be a Biased Sample
Justin. Literally every Justin I have ever crossed paths with has been an absolute insufferable douche. susannahmio82
I've met one Justin in my life. This description fits. Slushy13
True. Disgusting. Potatoe-Peaches
Sounds Like We Have a Consensus
Like others have said, people named Tyler generally suck. I had a high school friend named Tyler that was the most annoying narcissistic a**hole and I cut him out of my life the day I graduated.
The Full Name Rage
Lindsey. I hate the name because of a girl from high school. You know the person sucked if every time you think of the person you say both their first and last name.
Sorry, Todds
Todd. Never liked a Todd, I've known some really d*ckheads named Todd. Fu** you Todd. blahsdeep
Todd from breaking bad fits it. But Todd from Bojack Horseman is an exception. BasicUsername_1
Too Many David's. No More David's.Â
David. I know about 8 Davids, 6 of which are dumba**es or idiots who I had conflict with, or who did wrongs to me.
David 7 was a pal with whom I used to play Warhammer. The only David I actually like. I hope he's doing fine.
She Sounds Lovely
On a lighter note, Deanna, because in sixth grade one was in my class. And her nickname was what I wanted my nickname to be, since I didn't like the name I had at the time. It's very petty.
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The Draft
Episode 1 Omg GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
- direct07
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Much
rhythm nation dance GIF by Janet JacksonGiphyA girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.
Chuck E Cheese Wink GIFGiphy"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
The Getaway...
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
The Avoid...
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
Kim Tate Eye Roll GIF by Emmerdale"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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