People Explain How They've Seen Someone Ruin Their Entire Life In A Single Day

We're human, and we can acknowledge that we all make mistakes.
But there's a limit to how much grace any person can be shown for their slip-ups.
In fact, there are some mistakes that a person could make in a single day that could ruin the rest of their lives.
Redditor TunaSaladWithBeans asked:
"How did somebody you know ruin their life in one day?"
Second Chances Included
"Not a barn burner but still pretty bad considering the 'adult' involved. TLDR (Too Long; Didn't Read): So-called adult failed to adult after numerous warnings and went off a metaphorical cliff."
"The clown was a senior married reserve Naval officer who also had a job at a nuclear power facility that required a Top Secret Clearance. He got deployed as a reservist to do classified work in Europe. Nothing James Bond but still not something the US wanted people to know about. It was plenty cushy too: living in a luxury hotel with lots of paid time off base to check out the sights."
"But the clown decided to hook up with a German woman and have an affair. The military doesn't care about that so long as you're above board with them about it so you can't be blackmailed. They don't even tell the spouse. This is spelled out once you get a security clearance."
"He didn't tell the military; they found out another way. But the unit went easy on him. His commander told him either tell his wife or stop seeing this German woman. If he did that, there'd be no consequences; if he didn't, there'd be h**l to pay."
"This warning was repeated to this clown on multiple occasions. The clown said he'd stop. Then he went off to Germany on vacation to, you guessed it, hook up this German woman."
"The commander took it personally that the clown ignored his warnings, disobeyed orders, and lied to him. Go figure. The commander fired him from the cushy job and revoked his security clearance, which ruined the clown's reserve military career."
"Because he needed a security clearance at his civilian job, he lost that too. And of course, his wife found out and divorced him."
"I suppose the clown recovered from this and is doing OK. But I imagine it's just as possible he's living in a van down by the river."
- Eric_da_MAJ
A Life-Changing Drive
"A dude I met was 18 and had been drinking. He was driving down a rural road when he lost control of his car, and flipped it. "He killed his passenger, who was his best friend."
"He was charged with a felony DUI and manslaughter. He was really messed up by this and knowing that he killed his friend haunted him."
"He was also an avid hunter and had to give that up because he was banned from owning firearms as a felon."
"He was in his thirties when I met him and he was pretty messed up."
- teaching-man
Over Before It Began
"Had a friend in college. We were both training to be Pilots. His dad owned an insurance company and gave him the company's credit card to pay for all his flight hours with."
"He got about two years in when he finished his first license. ($30k-50k) Got a DUI halfway through his second license."
"Pilot career down the drain. On top of that, his father's company will be paying for it."
- taylorman8181
Keep Checking In with Friends
"A childhood friend who relapsed from drug addiction. He ingested fentanyl and died all alone in a filthy basement."
"He had been looking healthier, we reconnected, and he was planning his life going forward sober. That hurt a lot, that hope being taken away in a few minutes."
"F**k opiates, fentanyl, and those who deal it. Too many lives are lost every day."
- TheBklynGuy
Hot Off the Press
"My boss had his dream job as a sports editor of the local paper, a nice family, and a young daughter. He called one day to say he wasn’t coming to work."
"Turns out he was busted trying to meet up with a girl he met online for sex, and the girl was actually a cop."
- esmerelda_b
Celebratory Loss
"My friend's wife was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said she had about a 10% chance of surviving."
"She scheduled her surgery for a month out, and without telling him, took out several credit cards in just her name. She ranked up $100,000 in debt in that month flying around the world and doing everything on her bucket list."
"She had the surgery and chemo after and... lived. She was fine. That debt completely f**ked up their lives for about 10 years."
"The husband, my friend, knew she was traveling. He saw the roughly $10,000 added to their joint credit card. He did not know she had taken out credit and was hiding an additional $90,000 in debt."
"And his wife honestly thought she would die, and then the credit cards would close the accounts and the family would owe nothing. Which is not exactly how it works. So luckily that did not happen."
"It f**ked up a lot of things. He lost his DoD security clearance because of it (people with a lot of debt, can be bought). And he took a less-paying job as a federal contractor, where I met him. But he honestly does not regret it, and is happy to have his wife and kids all alive."
- Bug1oss
Serious Matters
"I knew a guy my freshman year of college. Easily the most socially awkward person I've ever met. Not necessarily a bad guy but a really weird one."
"He was expelled for making a bomb threat. No idea what happened to him after that but I can't imagine anything good."
- cfbethel
Mob Mentality
"Brother of a friend went out drinking with some scumbag 'friends' people had warned him to stay away from. Late into the night, there was an argument with one of them. My friend's brother ended up being part of a group that beat this poor guy to death. He won’t see the outside of a prison for a good 20 years now."
- MargotChanning
Tragically Anticlimactic
"Guy I went to high school with was diagnosed with testicular cancer when we were about 25. For months, maybe years, I would see updated posts about the progress he was making with treatment."
"Then one day he posted on Facebook that he was cancer free. The next day he was dead."
"To celebrate, he'd gone out that night and got absolutely wasted and fell down a flight of concrete steps outside his flat in the early hours of the morning. By the time he was found in the morning, he was gone."
- vicki5150
Just Heartbreaking
"A friend of my parents was a good family man who loved his family. One day he was playing with his toddler and was playfully tossing her on the bed. She would get back up giggling and he would toss her again."
"In one of the tosses, he threw her a bit too far and she hit a bedpost. She lived but became bedbound, unable to even talk."
"He went to jail for child abuse. He lost his wife, his job, and his little girl would never be the same."
- IIVIIORTAL_K
Losing Roulette
"An old coworker went to Vegas, felt really good about his odds due to the liquor, and ended up betting his entire life savings on roulette and lost. He ended up losing his house, his wife, and kids, and from what I've seen he lives in a tiny apartment and works a min wage job."
- Dire-Dog
New Work-From-Home Fear Unlocked
"He ate dinner alone, choked, and died."
- waterloograd
Holy Debt, Batman
"Some kid in our senior year of high school pulled the fire alarm every day. He was getting away with it for a while."
"The school had town officials and the chief of the fire department and the police come in and talk about the dangers."
"The town would send trucks and be without them if there was another emergency. None of that worked."
"When they offered a reward the kid’s friends ratted him out. His family had to pay for all those calls, he was expelled from school and didn’t graduate."
- JediMasterPopCulture
Prescriptions Needed
"A week ago, my little sister slipped on the ice getting out of her car and hit her head. She didn’t think much of it when she had a pounding headache later, figuring she just whacked herself good."
"Her friend told her to just sit down and take it easy until she started slurring her words roughly 10 hours after the fall."
"They called an ambulance for her, but she was going into cardiac arrest. Turns out she’d stopped taking her blood thinners she was supposed to be on for clotting issues. The headache wasn’t the fall, it was the clot in her leg cutting off blood to the brain."
"At the age of 26, she never recovered and leaves behind a four-year-old and two-year-old."
- KearneyZzzyzwicz
Hero Status
"A day horribly altered my life. I was a teacher and coach. For a field trip, the principal 'could not afford two busses,' so I had to walk about ten girls to the field trip location, and back to school, while the one bus was filled with the rest of the junior high students and faculty."
"It would be about a mile each way. I chose the girls of my team because they would listen to me outdoors, unlike lots of middle school kids."
"While crossing the street in the crosswalk, with the walk signal in our favor. All the kids went first, and like girls, they were clumped together and chatting while walking."
"I noticed a woman made a left turn into our crosswalk and never saw us as she tried to accelerate to beat an oncoming car. I knew she was going to run right through the girls."
"I pushed the kids forward, very forcefully. Most of the girls fell onto the pavement in front of other vehicles waiting at their red light. (They were badly scraped up, like road rash from me pushing them. But no hospitals or doctors were needed for their scrapes.)"
"I don't remember the impact. I remember seeing a Pontiac symbol between the headlights. I came to, and I was in a whole different lane, facing where I had just come from. I could not get up. They say my body went up the car, and off the driver's side, tearing the side mirror off the car and breaking her windshield."
"Horror and sobbing from my student-athletes. The girls raised me onto a backboard when the ambulance came, which must have been traumatic."
"Now, 20 years later, I am still an ambulatory wheelchair user. I can't teach or coach. I can't work at a desk. I have chronic pain. Yes, my life can be really sucky, but I would not change what I did that day."
"When I get low emotionally from all my limitations, I remember those girls. I watched them go to college, get married, grow into mothers, and hold impressive jobs in their fields. And when they show a photo on Facebook of their happy moment, it recharges me to know they are safe, healthy, and happy. And it reaffirms my decision to save them from harm."
- CannaBeeKatie
Most of the subReddit shared stories of drug and alcohol use or negligent driving. But some of the stories were far more tragic than gross, and there were even some heartwarming stories thrown in.
But the conversation is an important reminder to be mindful of our actions since they truly could change our lives in a moment.
I believe good parents are miracle workers.
And I know for a FACT that it is not a job I am capable of doing.
But, based on simple moments I've witnessed, I do believe there are some people I can do better than... if I had to.
Not everyone is born to be a parent.
And the crux of life is that, as a parent, there is no way to save your child from not being a mess somehow.
Case in point...
A recently deleted Redditor wanted to compare notes on parents, so they asked:
"What screams 'I’m a terrible parent?'"
I can't tell anyone how to be a parent.
But I have a few ideas on how to make a few tweaks.
"I'm SUPER fascinated in finding out how this generation of kids who are growing up with cameras in their faces turn out. Seeing as generations tend to do the opposite of how their parents raised them, it’d be funny if the babies born now, completely revolt against all things social media 😅."
WildflowerChickpea
Just Say It!
"Not saying sorry to your kid when you are in the wrong or made a mistake."
SuvenPan
"I used to struggle with this. I became so used to excusing my existence that I became habitually defensive. Admitting that I’m wrong is still a conscious effort for me."
"For my children, I try to model being magnanimous when getting something wrong; if they correct me and they’re obviously right, whether it be with discipline or information, I try to go out of my way to say I was wrong and thank them for telling me. I think I’m doing better? Hard to tell."
darklightner11
Crap Talk
"Talking crap about your ex in front of your kid."
Material_Ambition_95
"There was this woman who would rant about her ex-husband in front of her kids all. the. time. and their faces would look so sad and hurt. You may hate that man but your kids have part of his DNA and they take everything you say to heart. It's a poisonous and manipulative thing to do."
Antidote_to_Chaos
"Adding to that, telling your kid about the 2 fraudulent lawsuits you’re creating against their other parent. And telling them how you’re going to hire a private investigator against the other parent. All while ignoring the child when they tell you 'Don’t talk to me about -other parent- you’re making me uncomfortable.'"
Fluffy-kitten28
That's Funny?
"Filming your child trying to mock them only because 'it's funny' when it's clearly uncomfortable for them, and then post the video on the internet."
arrastre
"I was an assistant manager at Spirit Halloween a couple of years ago and there was a couple there who filmed their clearly terrified young child screaming and crying at the animatronics, and they laughed. It hurt my heart."
carlykerfuffle
"Those videos of kids happily sitting down to blow out birthday candles, and then a pr*ck slams their face in the cake. WTF."
jpr_jpr
Bye Bye Bye
"If their kids are older, and want nothing to do with them."
spicy-bae
"Mom screams at me to move out and never talk to her again if she is such a bad mother. I move out and never talk to her again. Surprised Pikachu face."
No_Scale7584
No communication between adult kids and parents, speaks volumes.
Listen Again
"Defending every action/behavior of your kid without hearing the other party's side. It's obviously natural and important to listen to your child, but you should not be disregarding the fact that your kid can make mistakes and is not perfect."
LeonLunaLola
"Or, for that matter, believing every story you hear about your child, no matter how outlandish it may be."
notthesedays
It's YOU
"When you use your kids as emotional support figures or use them to cover your own irresponsibility. You had a 20-year head-start on your kid, yet they're already more responsible and mature."
Osteo-Malaka-cia
"I just got the image of my dad in my head while reading this. No wonder why I don't pick up that f**ker's phone call. It's unbelievable how someone over 50 y/o can have the financial responsibility of an 8-year-old in a candy shop."
Zahard_Zj
Rude
"Trying to gossip with one of your children about the other one."
LennaPine
"My mother did this with all of her children - me, my sister, and our two older half-brothers from my mom's prior marriages. Before I cut contact with her, she'd call me and would bash my sister for 15-20 minutes."
"Or she'd talk sh*t about one of my older brothers and their wives/children. My sister would mention to me how our mom talked sh*t about me while on a call, etc."
"It's because of that; none of us siblings really communicate with or trust each other. We either fully cut contact with our mom or severely minimized contact."
shaoting
Are You Serious?
"An idiotic name (circa AITA Krxtxl) or anything similar. Any parent I’ve ever seen who does this crap treats their kid like an accessory. iPad/phone parents. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against screen time but there has to be some boundary) I had a child in my last preschool class who literally ONLY spoke in YouTube quotes or video intro styles."
"I had to have him at age 4 permanently removed from my class for hockey fighting a kid and screaming 'It’s a prank f***er.' So yeah... there’s been a lot of varying degrees of screen obsession but that was one of the worst. That and the kid who hit my co-teacher in the face with a poop-filled hand for putting the iPads away for lunchtime."
Sea-Butterscotch383
No Excuses
"Parents not punishing their kids. All kids are different and some things might not work but if your child is actively disrespecting a teacher or physically hurting another person and your first thing is to make an excuse."
nope123ee
Parenting ain't easy.
No one said it was gonna be.
And sounds like some of us may need to rethink doing it.
I love unconventional movies and storytellers.
I live for the times when artists and creatives take big chances.
Sometimes those chances pay off and other times... it's a travesty of life.
Yes, I'm dramatic, and so is movie-making!
The WTF aspect.
That is usually born out of big chances.
Whether that moment leaves people thrilled, shocked, or disgusted... that's in the subjectiveness of it all.
It's always a gamble to create.
Redditor MightGuy420x wanted to share thoughts about some of the movies that left our brains and souls puzzled, so they asked:
"What movie had you saying 'What the f**k' the most while watching?"
Movies leave me aghast more often than not.
And endings are never easy.
Last Lines
"Swiss Army Man."
JawlessRegent64
"Isn't 'What the f**k?' also the last spoken line in the film?"
frygod
"Yeah lol, literally. It made me laugh so hard because I'd been saying that for the entire two hours I was sitting on my couch watching it. Never saw that coming from Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe is a strange man lol."
JawlessRegent64
A Midnight Opening
"The most audible 'What the f**k?' I have ever heard from an entire movie theater audience was actually from Pixar."
"It was their short film Bao, I think before Incredibles 2. A woman makes a little baby out of dumpling ingredients, there is a cute montage of them together, and then she eats it without warning."
"It was a midnight opening so the audience was all adults, and yeah nobody saw that coming."
AllBadAnswers
Weird but Funny
"Sorry to Bother You."
MCPanda6969
"I saw this in theaters having absolutely no idea where it was heading (like everyone I think). I must’ve walked out to pee at exactly the wrong time, when I came back I had to double-check it was still the right theater."
drownednotgod
"I freaking love this movie and you're exactly right. There was a point I went from like 'This is a weird one, but it's funny' to 'What in the actual f**k is happening?'"
"What's even better is if you go back and watch, they led you right up until that point. They're always hinting at it, but the protagonist makes everything about him and I think that's why it just hits you out of nowhere."
JackJackensworth
Gross
"Splice."
AnotherBadPlayer
"I feel bad for introducing this movie incorrectly to some friends. I really thought it was going to be some kind of science-fiction drama. And then Adrian Brody mated with it."
ddh85
"Well, that's easy the thing he was f**king was a human-animal hybrid that he raised from birth like a daughter and was made from his girlfriend's DNA the hybrid later changes from female to male and attacks the before-mentioned girlfriend which I guess is technically its own mother."
o_MrBombastic_o
30% Out!!
"Mother!"
GreatTragedy
"We had to refund AT LEAST 30% of the admissions for this movie every day when I worked in a theater. People were leaving the cinema pissed off because of this movie."
RepresentativeName18
That movie makes no sense at all.
Someone explain it to me!
No Light
"Human centipede."
Odd_Adhesiveness4804
"When Roger Ebert reviewed this movie, he gave it zero stars, saying such a movie could exist only in a universe with no light in it whatsoever, and hence there could be no stars in his review of it."
PhuckingDuped
Jan's Story
"Abducted in Plain Sight."
sodangshedonger
"My mom actually went to school with Jan and her mom was friends with my grandma. I’ve tried to get my mom to watch the show but she has refused because 'I have already had more than enough Jan Broberg in my life.'"
"From what my mom said, I’d take everything the family claims happened (especially Jan’s story about what happened while she was kidnapped) with a grain of salt because Jan was apparently super melodramatic even before the abduction."
"That said, I found the show to be less shocking than most people because their naïveté is incredibly unsurprising for a Mormon family in a small town in the 70s."
ToBeReadOutLoud
Unconvential
"The Lobster."
awakami
"Seriously had no idea what I was getting into. A couple and a dude bailed out of the theater when I saw it."
2ndRook
"The Lobster made me realize I had an unconventional taste for films. It’s my favorite film of all time next to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I tried to make my friends watch it, and they all would bail out mid-film."
areyousureyourealive
"This. What utter f**king bats*it crazy horseshit this movie was."
Tackit286
Hey John...
"'Being John Malkovich' is just one weird thing happening after the other, giving you very little time to process it."
LoopyPro
"I got to see an advanced screening of Being John Malkovich. I knew absolutely nothing about it going in. It was the first time I was ever left so completely speechless by a movie in such a good way."
"I was already in love with the movie before the portal was even introduced. It could have just been a really weird series of set pieces revolving around those bizarre characters interacting in that weird half-floor and puppetry recitals and I would have been happy. Then it gets all metaphysical and kooky... And it did it all so perfectly."
lingh0e
Unreal
"Cats. I was just constantly saying 'What the f**k?' under my breath as I watched it in theaters. I honestly don't remember much of it. It was so incoherent in tone and execution, and weird that it just feels like a fever dream in my memory."
daddydonetomuch
So many movie WTFs for me are about... "How did THIS find funding?!"
Thank God for vodka.
Many of us find scientific facts fascinating, and for good reason, but like all subjects, there are aspects of scientific study that are positively disturbing and can keep us up late at night.
When asked, Reddit of course had an endless supply of factoids to haunt their fellow Redditors.
Redditor The_D1ngb4t asked:
"What scientific fact scares the absolute s**t out of you?"
The Carrington Event
"I don’t remember what it was called, but there was an event in the 1800s caused by solar activity where telegraphs operated on their own without power and I think caused minor damage."
"Should such a solar event happen again, it would destroy all of our internet network capabilities and other electrical gear. Anyone know what I’m referring to?"
"Edited to Add: The Carrington Event."
- 123eyecansee
Atomic Bomb
"When the atom bomb was being created, the leading scientists associated with the project at the time had to calculate the flammability of the Earth's atmosphere in order to ensure that detonating the bomb would not cause the atmosphere to combust."
"At the time when the first atom bomb was detonated, these scientists still had not answered this question, meaning that we legitimately just crossed our fingers and hoped we wouldn't set the f**king planet on fire. Humans are stupid."
- Otherwise-Win7936
Outer Space
"Space just in general. Or that bit about the Higgs Field not being in true equilibrium and that returning to it would break everything as we know it."
- SEND_ME_UR_TINY
Sneaky Cancer
"The fact that your body can have advancing cancer and you wouldn’t know it sometimes. My father-in-law's brother was walking through his kitchen and he fainted and hit his head on the counter. He was rushed to the hospital and they ran tests."
"He had stage four pancreatic cancer and his body was already in the endgame. He was dead within two months of diagnosis. That shit terrifies me and it can happen to anyone."
- bigpapahugetim3
"Happened to my five-year-old daughter. For a week she had a nose bleed on and off that the doctors weren't concerned about since kids get nose bleeds for various reasons."
"Then she collapsed a week later and was gone three hours after getting to the hospital. She had leukemia. I have two other children and I'm terrified something could happen to them too."
- mamadrama91
Alzheimer's Disease
"Scientific literature’s conclusion on Alzheimer’s disease and other neurodegenerative diseases, in general, is that the diseases start decades before the first obvious symptoms and that we need to treat them at this stage."
"When you exhibit obvious symptoms, it’s too late, your brain is already mush."
"If you get diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at 65, you had the disease since your early 40s at least. And you experienced very mild symptoms but didn’t notice them. And your brain fought like hell to compensate for the deficit."
"When you get diagnosed, your brain is already very severely damaged and will never recover from the deficit."
- Alkuna
The Suddenness of It
"The fact that we can just get a blood clot and die and not realize anything was up. The human body has so many ways of just suddenly dying and it's terrifying."
- a-packet-of-noodles
A Distinct Possibility
"I'm not afraid of suddenly dying. I'm afraid of suddenly being severely disabled."
- phunkydroid
"My cousin was always riding horses. She was very lucky to have the access to them that she did. She was riding with a less experienced friend. The friend’s horse took off and she gave chase to try and save her friend."
"Whatever happened, she took a fall and was paralyzed when she was maybe 22 or 23 years old and lived in a facility for the next 12 years until she died a very early death."
"She couldn’t speak or communicate hardly. Just 12 years of hardship. She had to rediscover and grieve her father's death all over again, not to mention grieve her own life. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone."
- cranwitch
The Boogeyman of Medicine
"Prion diseases exist."
- hiboJBob
"From my understanding of CJD, or Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (it's the boogeyman of my career field), it's something you contract, but it takes about 10 years for any symptoms to appear, and either way it's impossible to do anything about. So eerie, honestly."
- s00perball
"Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease."
"It's genetic. You won't know that you have it. When you know that you have it, there is zero recourse. It will eat holes in your brain and you'll die."
"That, and Fatal Familial Insomnia, also genetic. One of your parents woke up one day and couldn't fall back asleep until they died, having suffered rapidly progressing neural degeneration."
"And it tends to set in around mid-life, so you spend every day waking up knowing it might be the last time. You find it hard to build relationships and have a family because you know it's not a matter of if, only when. But you know you're not gonna see your golden years."
- __garlic__
No Floating Here
"You can get non-buoyant water."
"In wastewater treatment plants, they aerate the water so the bacteria breaking down the poo has plenty of oxygen. Due to the introduced air, the water density is low enough that a human body (or most any object that would normally float) will go straight to the bottom."
- MustNotSay
Poor Yeller
"Rabies. You can have it and never know until it decides it's time. And then you'll die terribly."
- PMyourTastefulN**es
A Reality
"That one day I will die. I don't know why, but sometimes at night, as I'm falling asleep, I suddenly think of this and it freaks me out. Like, start feeling super anxious."
- nastybacon
"Just know that once you die, you could either stop existing, which isnt painful, or you could discover a whole different world."
- InfernoSlayer2
Why Can't We See or Touch It? ...Or Can We?
"The metaphysical aspect of consciousness."
"Where is consciousness? What is it? When does it really end? Where does it go when we die? When we sleep? How does it occupy our entire being without being physically present?"
"We are quite literally the universe experiencing itself, in a fragile little bubble on a mote of dust in a sunbeam."
"And yet, what exactly are we?"
"That’s the sort of question that keeps me up at night. I don’t fear death, I don’t fear world annihilation, but I am deeply unsettled by the mere experience of being aware."
- Bloorajah
How Terrible
"Methanol contains very little carbon, so when it burns, it's basically invisible."
"Can you imagine death by burning alive, and no one can see the flames, so they can't put them out?"
- boxofmarshmallows
C. Difficile Infection
"Every time you use an antibiotic, even for something mild like strep throat or bronchitis or traveler’s diarrhea, you technically could get C. Difficile infection from your wiped out gut flora. And that could end up a lingering, resistant infection, that leads to colectomy or fecal transplant."
"Antibiotics are scary. And there’s a reason doctors only want to prescribe them if absolutely needed."
- TheSunscreenLife
Infinite Darkness
"Less 'scary' and more 'mind-numbingly depressing' is the Dark Era of the universe."
"When all the star fuel is gone (and it will be) and all the white dwarves have gone cold and dark (and they will) and all the black holes have evaporated away into elementary particles (and they will), the universe will be a cold, dark place..."
"Forever."
- Imissyourgirlfriend2
As fascinating as science is, there are some truly dark, troubling corners that we can linger over for too long.
While it's good to be knowledgeable of these possibilities, we need to remember the lighter aspects of life, as well.
Any kind of romantic relationship takes work.
Once the honeymoon phase ends, both partners involved realize that if they're going to stay for the long haul, they must equally put in the effort.
However, not all relationships are built the same. Some have no hope in salvaging a relationship that is never meant to be.
So how do you avoid an eventual heartbreak after so much investment of time?
Redditor icyqueen999999 got some helpful hints after asking:
"What is a dead giveaway of a toxic relationship?"

Trust was severely lacking in these relationships.
Proof Of Fidelity
"My 57 year old colleague constantly has to send videos and pics of him working to his wife."
– LB89LB19
Speaking From Experience
"My ex always tried to make me do this. F'king obnoxious. Guess who was eventually found out to never be where he said he was and was sneaking around instead? Lol."
– AlpacaOurBags
Final Analysis
"It's not only that but if you make someone spend all their energy proving that they are faithful, they don't have the mental capacity to even consider their partner might be the unfaithful one."
– sturmeh
Submitting Detailed Records
"I found out the other week that my buddy has to send his girlfriend detailed notes with timestamps of legitimately everything he does while hanging out with the guys..."
"9:14 went down to the kitchen for a glass or water 9:15 stopped to pet the cats before heading upstairs 9:18 made it back upstairs and sat on the right side of the couch."
– rowdy_sprout
Both parties involved have to benefit from a relationship. These examples reflect ones that don't.
Path Of Least Resistance
"One partner always gets their way."
"For me, it was 'easier' to bend over backward than to deal with the whining and complaining if I stood my ground. Easier is in quotes because it was only easier in the short term - long term made life hell."
– The_Griffin_Scimitar
Mental And Physical Toll
"Fine, whatever you want, just like always, whatever you want."
"Whatever I want? It's never whatever I want. When I wanted to see Stomp, and you wanted to see Wicked, what did we see?"
"We saw Wicked."
"When I said that I wanted to have kids, and you said, you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure, Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you defintely didn't want to have kids, who had it reversed back? Snip snap! Snip snap! Snip snap! I did. You have no idea the physical toll, that three vasectomies have on a person. And I bought this condo to fill with children."
– VaiterZen
Failure In The Long Term
"Sadly, in these sorts of relationships, the person who cares the least has the most power. You could bend over backwards trying to please the other person, and it might keep them around in the short term, but it doesn't change the fact they don't really respect you. You know in your gut that if you ever actually stood your ground on any issue instead of giving in to them, things would end there and then."
– Innalibra
It appears the love has vacated the scene a long time ago.
Talking Smack
"If someone is always talking crap about their partner whenever they are not together."
"I've seen this far too many times, it's always ended in total disaster withing a few years at most."
– ricochetpeestream
Endless Complaining
"Ugh, yup. I've listened to so many people complain about their partners and I just wonder: WHY are y'all together!? If I get a chance to talk about my bf, you can bet I'll start dishing out everything I love about him."
– MelanisticCrow
Hostility
"Lack of trust and constant fights."
– Lost-Championship914
"I once read that contempt is the #1 sign of a relationship on its deathbed. When partners don’t respect each other, it sets the stage for every other bad thing."
– PartySquirrel1
Breaking up is hard to do, as the song goes.
But when a relationship has been on the rocks and has turned unbearable to the point of resenting one another, there's no point in staying with the toxic situation.
Acknowledging the red flags and willingly staying in a miserable situation is not healthy.
There is always something, or someone, better out there.