Rules of hospitality aren't anywhere near as big of a thing now as they used to be, the ancient Greeks and Romans had a definite lead there, but most people are still familiar with how to be a good host, right? Apparently not, it seems.
Reddit user u/Azzizzi asked:
When I studied for a semester in France, I had a French homestay with an old woman. She had a lot of weird control issues and living with her was very stressful. She had printed rules all over the house, including some taped to our toilet seat. Some were basic rules like don't flush tampons, but one toilet rule was not to close the lid too loudly. One time I heard her shuffling outside while I was using the bathroom then yell at me when she thought I closed the lid loudly.
She cleaned my room daily and moved my belongings around. If I had my tshirts in one drawer, I could be sure she'd move them to another drawer before I got home because other drawer was "better for tshirts." Same thing with my hairbrush and bottle of lotion on the dresser. I never felt like I could really settle in.
On a weekly basis, just when I thought I'd learned all of her rules, she would add a new rule to yell at me about. One rule was to keep showers under ten minutes. I was really good at abiding to this rule, then a week before I left, probably no more than six minutes into my shower, the water ran cold.
I was so angry and still had soap in my hair, so I came downstairs to confront her in nothing but a towel. It turned out she was entertaining guests and clearly shut off the hot water to show off to them. I guess she didn't count on me being angrily confrontational -she looked borderline terrified as I b!tched her out wearing nothing but a towel with soap running down my face, then ran to turn the hot water back on.
Near the end of my stay I learned her adult kids didn't talk to her and she was genuinely flummoxed as to why that was.
Stayed at my uncle's house for a couple of days with my younger sister. She's closer in age with our cousins, and I'm the oldest by 10 years.
My uncle didn't like that my sister was playing with our cousins toys. That she was too old and it bothered him. He's miserable and a territorial @ssweed, and I could tell he was counting down the days until we left.
He threatened my sister by saying he'll make her sleep in the garage. Then proceeded to say things like, "I never really liked you guys anyway."
Went to visit a friend for the weekend and reminded her repeatedly that my flight was landing at 7am (she had issues with over sleeping), and would she be sure to be awake to let me in?
Flight lands, I call. Goes straight to voicemail. This continues the entire cab ride to her apartment, so great, her phone is dead. When I get there, I find the intercom system is broken so my attempts to buzz her are worthless.
I sit outside her apartment building for close to an hour with my luggage before someone exits and I can grab the door and go up. Pound on her door until she FINALLY gets out of bed and opens up. She laughs, "Ya know, I kinda forgot you were coming."
Ok. Literally texted you yesterday.
Needless to say, we are no longer friends.
Was invited to my SOs coworkers house along with a few other people for a small party. When the pizza arrived she told everyone they needed to give her $10 each to cover the cost.
Some people, like myself, didn't have cash because we weren't expecting to need any. She tried to say anyone who didn't pay couldn't have any.
Party died shortly after. If she had just said before hand "Hey I want to throw a get together. I'll take care of the food, booze, drinks, etc. everyone just toss me $10 to cover the cost." we'd have been totally fine whit that. But don't spring that on someone by surprise then tell them they aren't allowed to eat.
When I was in university, I went on a short road trip with my friend and her parents. On the way back home, her dad decided to take a detour to visit an old friend he hadn't seen in a few decades. None of us (including my friend's mother) knew quite what we were in for, but oh boy it was an experience.
Guy lived in the middle of nowhere. Got to his house, walked in the door, and we're greeted by an elderly woman (the guy's mother) in a hospital bed. Okay, a bit awkward but she seemed like a sweet old lady.
The house was filthy like nothing I'd ever seen before and my friend and I were so uncomfortable that we made some excuse to go sit out in the car.
A few minutes later her mother came running out of the house yelling at us to let her into the car. Turns out the guy gave them a tour of his house, including his filthy unusable kitchen. He told my friend's mother to clean it up a bit and make a nice dinner for all of us while he took friend's dad to look at his gun collection. Friend's mother said no and went back out to the front of the house, but unfortunately granny had dementia and did not remember meeting her. Thought she was a burglar and starting screaming and swearing at her and threatening to shoot her.
THEN we went to "the nicest restaurant in town" (the only restaurant in town) where the guy lectured me and my friend about Jesus, implied that we were both promiscuous, and told us we were going to hell.
My ex-MIL used to invite me to family gatherings and then proceed to get absolutely trashed and loudly insult and berate me in front of everyone. Everything from how I dressed, to my choice of major in college, how I wasn't good enough for her son, etc., etc. She just absolutely hated me from the get-go and didn't make a secret of it.
After a couple of particularly bad episodes where this happened I started to refuse to attend family functions if I knew she would be there. My ex would get mad at me about it but he never once spoke up to defend me or tell her to stop. Big surprise that he and I aren't married any more.
I don't see my family often, but came to town when my great-aunt died. After the funeral we met at my older cousin's house, and his wife had never met me. His wife had met my younger brother and knew of my mom, but didn't have any idea that I existed. We had all been drinking and she mentions that she didn't know me. When my cousin explained our relation, she said, "I know (my brother) and I know (my mom); and (mom) doesn't have anymore kids." Okay....
Later on, we're in their basement, and I had my feet propped on the ottoman. She barreled downstairs, yanked the ottoman from beneath my feet and began to yell and call me a b!tch. She legit thought I was there to try and steal my cousin from her. Little did she know that even if I wasn't in a same sex relationship, there's no way in the west side of HELL I'd be attracted to my cousin. Ever.
My mom called them the next day and demanded that she apologize, and she did- just not to me. Needless to say, I don't ever want to be in the same room as her.
In high school I went to a friend's house for the first time for a birthday-slumber party. In the morning we were all sitting around the table waiting for breakfast and their dog was walking around and checking everyone out. I absentmindedly reached down and pet the dog and my friend's mom immediately snapped at me for petting the dog at the table and told me to go wash my hands. I wasn't going to be touching anyone's food but my own and at my house there were no rules about petting the cat at the table. As a shy person who doesn't like confrontation I was pretty upset.
An ex of mine brought me onto Ft. Meade to attend an engagement party for a friend of hers that was a linguist for NSA. She had another couple (guy and girl - married) come with us. I was cool with the guy, so we all get in the car, go on base and meet these new people. Nice house, people were super egg headed, ALL of them were hammered. We were there for 20 minutes when we had our first beers.
The soon to be groom shuffled up to me not long after that, and slurring his words asked me if I spoke Japanese. So I responded in Japanese and we talk for a few minutes. Dude was absolutely angry about something. He asked me where I went to school for Japanese. I said I didn't, I lived there for a long time and just picked up the language.
MF-er starts literally SCREAMING at me, calling me a liar and backing me into a corner. It's his house, his friends, he is hammered and I am not sure what to do. One thing I did know, was that this little girl of a dude wasn't going to get the drop on me. HE lunged at me and a tossed him backwards and he fell on his back. He's screaming at me and I just told him if he touched me he was a dead man.
My ex took me out of there and she was yelling at me too. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?"
"What do you mean? Dude came right at me for no good reason. He's lucky I didn't knock him out."
"THERE IS NO PUNCHING! NO PUNCH! NO PUNCHING, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!?!"
They drove me off base and I asked them to let me out. Told the ex to go f--- herself, and called a cab to take me home.
I'd say that was the most impolite thing a host has ever done to me.
First internship, new city. Was quite young so my family made me stay at an acquaintance's place. Things were off from the start.
Heard their elder daughter (she was in her late 20s or early 30s) having a screaming match with her mother about not wanting me in the house, hating how she was being asked to make small talk with me, etc. (I would have been happier staying with my friends. The family had insisted that I stay with them.)
I was given their son's room and was told to not lock the door at night or day because the son needed to come and go as he pleased, as if knocking was an unheard of practice.
Few days in, they had a house guest. So I moved to sleep on the floor in the elder daughter's room. At night she proceeded to complain to the younger one about how "some people" take too much time in the bathroom and that they should be grateful we're letting them stay. (I used to occupy the bathroom for 20 mins each morning to finish up all my business. They had 2 other bathrooms in the house and yet somehow the one I was in, at the time I was in, was always needed.)
Sh!t hit the ceiling when the mother discovered I had used the bathroom dustbin to dispose off sanitary napkins (I has disposed them off responsibly and very very properly). I was berated for quite a while and was told that the "big city" culture is different (in their eyes, I was from a small city. Its like calling Philadelphia a small city because you live in Chicago). My using the dustbin had corrupted it because they believed menstrual blood to be unhygienic or some regressive bull like that. She told me it was an expensive dustbin and now the set was ruined coz they'll have to throw it.
I lost my cool and told my parents about it. I guess I had sounded a little too tearful. My father decided to take the next flight and surprise me for my birthday. I was camping at the city library when he turned up. One of my best memories to date. We went to their place, I got my suitcase (there was no need to pack because I was living out of the suitcase since they decided to give me a shelf in the bathroom, the shelf was the size of an airplane over head compartment — you could keep a maximum of 4 sets of clothes at one time), I left some money on the bed for their dustbin and peaced out.
The next couple of days were amazing. My dad stayed with me for the Christmas holidays, we bought books, watched movies and chilled whenever I got free from work.
I hope to host them someday, just to show them what real hospitality looks like.
There's a small back story to this. Some time ago, my partner and I were living with his brother and a few other people. As we were a couple and organise the house we took the master bedroom with the en-suite, which also happened to be the whole top floor of the house. I came home one afternoon exhausted from work to the comfort of my bedroom to hear coming from our bathroom, "hey, umm just letting you know, I'm in here. So don't come in" I'm a bit taken back so I say ok what are you doing in my room, why are you not using the bathroom far more convenient for you downstairs etc. only to be cut off "yeah don't talk to me, I'm on the toilet" Because I'M the one invading his privacy! I didn't say anything after that and it never got mentioned again because my partner wouldn't confront him about anything. Even his smoking weed inside the house stinking it up for everyone!
A few years later and we have all moved on and my partner and I are living alone, but were between rentals and needed to crash for a week or so. Brother has the nerve to walk us through the place to were we will be staying and say "this is the bathroom YOU use. I have my en-suite in my room. YOU don't use that! You use this one!" I'm not kidding, that's how he said it!
It took everything in me no to turn around and say "don't worry, we won't invade your privacy like you did ours by coming into your bedroom and shitting in your toilet while your not home like YOU did!"
I was staying with my step-grandmother for a few days because I was getting sick and tired of my mom and step-father always fighting. So I go to an online school, I was doing my work and yadda yadda what ever, one of my assignments was to take a close up of things in a kitchen for digital photography, well I didn't know what to take a picture of.
She said to take a close up of the coffee pot because it did some weird reflective thing with my phone. I declined because I'd been trying to avoid showing my reflection, photo, etc, I'm not the most confident person and she knows this.
She got all pissed and huffy when I didn't want to do her idea, saying "well you have to show your photo eventually!!" Then things escalated and we started having a full blown screaming match because I pointed out that she was pissed, "you're the one who got pissed when I didn't want to do your idea!" And yeah....
Most of the time when I stay over there it ends in some fight and me going home, something she usually has started and expects me to take, which I don't.
Had a friend spend the night at mine during summer holidays, every thing was fine until the next day where we couldn't decide what to do so we go out and start walking as if we'd think of something eventually. Turns out he'd been sneakily using his phone whenever i wasn't paying attention and eventually said "hey lets go to my other friend's house, they're just round the corner".
So we get there, knock on the door, and she lets us in. Offers us a drink and then immediately leads us up to her room to "watch tv and listen to music" or whatever. My friend and her without a fucking second thought jump into her bed and pull the covers over them and i'm just left sat there at her desk with a glass of water. We hadn't even been there 3 minutes.
I wouldn't've minded if he had just been honest and said "hey i'm gonna go to this persons house to do the dirty, i'll see you later", but nah, he lied to me and led me along to make me feel like a the most awkward 3rd wheel. So i got up, walked out the house and slammed the door behind me. I wish i had done something to get back at him for being an ass but it just happened so quick that i basically just did the physical depiction of "k bye". I don't speak to him anymore.
I was staying at my grandmother's house for a few days and happened to lose my job. She and my step grandfather cornered me in the kitchen and berated me for a good 45 minutes about how I'm a loser who was never going to make anything out of myself just like my piece of shit father, and his entire side of my family was garbage.
This was their way of motivating me. I was in high school. It was a shit job bagging groceries. Not the end of the world at all, but Jesus did they screw me up after that.
Then i found out my grandmother and step grandfather started screwing while she was his secretary. They were both still married. And his wife was dying of cancer at the time.
Who's a piece of shit? My father's side of the family has a lot of issues, but i have way less respect for my mother's side now than i ever will his.
I went to stay at my girlfriends for a week. Was a long distance relationship so I travelled for a few hours to get there.
They were very well off. Her father was cool but her mother absolutely detested me, I assumed because I was the poor boy from up North.
Anyway later on in the evening of my first day there her mother called "dinner's ready" up to us. We went down and her mother had made dinner for everyone, but me.
I'm not entitled or anything so just shrugged it off but my girlfriend went ballistic and it caused a massive full-on screaming argument that lasted for hours.
Best part was her dad was just laying into his food not paying any attention to it all.
Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.
Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.
If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.
Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:
"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"
Let's learn from the masters!
What a common mistake!
"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."
"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."
"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."
"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."
"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."
"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."
"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."
Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.
"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."
"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"
You can't take back what you've already put in.
"You can always add, but you cannot take away."
"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."
"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."
"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."
"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."
"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"
"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."
"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."
How else will you know it tastes good?
"Taste the food."
"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."
"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."
Here's one just for laughs.
"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."
"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."
If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.
Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!
If all else fails, you can always order take out.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.
One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.
Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guyChannel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.