People Share The Best Examples Of 'The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions'
"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
An aged old proverb reflecting on when people perform what they think are well-meaning, helpful acts, but in reality, only worsen a bad situation.
A day seldom goes by when people won't notice an example of this, either on the news, in the book they're reading, or simply walking down the street.
This could be anything from someone making promises to help out, but never delivering on them, to saving money for a less expensive cleaner, which turns out to radiate toxic fumes, resulting in the building being closed for an indefinite length of time.
Ideas which might seem good in theory, but are impractical, illogical, or even harmful, in practice.
Redditor WorldsBiggestNarcist was curious to hear some of the best examples of this age old proverb, leading them to ask:
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions," what is a real life example of this?"
Controlling Erosion By Causing Erosion...
"The introduction of Kudzu for erosion control."
"It has become invasive and girdles and kills plant life above ground without establishing proper roots, therefore causing soil erosion."- Aldous_Hoaxley
When Honesty Is NOT The Best Policy...
"Once upon a time, I found a wallet on the beach."
"Having lost my own more than once, and not having it returned to me, I am aware that it is a stressful life event."
"So, my first thought was how to return it quickly."
"Looking through the contents, the owner was from out of state and there was no contact information other than the drivers license."
"Aside from that, only a few credit cards and some cash."
"Not knowing how long ago the owner had left, I thought let's just sit here for a while and maybe he will return looking for it since it is the first thing I would do."
"After a couple hours of fun and sun we needed to move on."
"My next best idea was to turn it into the local police station which we found easily enough just down the street."
"What I thought would be a quick in and out turned into a full on interrogation session during which I was, at one point, accused of theft/robbery."
"It was a bizarre experience, to say the least, which wasted an hour of our day."- notawhingymillenial
Think Carefully About Where You Donate...
"The Unexpected Consequences of your donations."
"TOMS Shoes, a company that pledged to donate a pair of shoes to a child in need for every pair purchased."
"Turns out that the company's donations disrupted local shoe markets in developing countries, putting local shoe makers out of business and creating a dependency on foreign donations."
"Additionally, the shoes donated by TOMS were not always appropriate for the local climate or culture and were not always of the same quality as the shoes being sold."
"Reportedly, they have ended up in landfills."- EditorNo2545
Not Helping Anyone If You Can't Adequately Care For THem
"Trying to rescue too many cats."- Tackybabe
When One Crisis Leads To Another
"Haiti did not have cholera."
"A disastrous earthquake hit Haiti in 2010, after the earthquake humanitarian forces from the UN arrived to help, and the Nepalese contingent reintroduced Cholera to Haiti."
"This epidemic has since infected approximately 850,000 people and killed over 10,000."- scootarded
It's The Only Way They'll Learn How To Solve Them
"Sheltering your kid from every possible problem."- Easywood
"Those parents who solve all their kids issues and don't make them 'stress' about consequences of their own actions."
"Their kids just turn into inept and entitled adults who still act 15 for decades and not only have a harder life for themselves but make life miserable for everyone around them too."
"Yes it's bad to go too far the other way, raising a child is a balancing act."
"I get that, but ignoring a child isn't usually from good intentions while spoiling them often is and that was the prompt."
"If this sounds like it happened to you, I promise you that you can get yourself out of the cycle."
"It sucks and it hurts and it's unpleasant, but you can do it if you want to."
"Get ready to fail, and then keep trying anyway."
"Persistence will be a new skill, and you will be bad at it."
"And that's okay."
"You didn't do this to yourself, you don't need to feel shame."
"Digging yourself out however is something you'll be doing yourself, and you can take pride in every step you make it the right direction."- EisConfused
When Some People Just Can't Be Helped
"My neighbor who is supposedly getting evicted soon."
"Basically she saw young drug addicts (30 year olds) as people she could change for the better."
"She’d find them somewhere and bring them home."
"Evidently the idea was that she could show them a warm apartment and good food and they would realize the error of their ways and change for the better."
"That or a safe place to do their drugs."
"We had a door code so they could come in and knock on her door until she answered."
"It was a constant stream of strange people going in and out of her room all night long."
"I figured it wasn’t my problem, people can do what they want if they aren’t hurting anyone else."
"But then three of the men decided to take advantage of her because it’s not like she could physically kick them out herself, and she wouldn’t call the police."
"These are people who don’t want to change, they like their lifestyle and she gave them an upgrade."
"We are pretty sure they are doing meth in there."
"They come back at 1:30 am and either snort something or smoke something that from the hallway smells like cat pee or paint thinner."
"Then they scream bloody murder, throw things, and have domestics until 11 am, like clockwork."
"Police can’t actively go into the room and even people on the top floor are calling them."
"Landlord and management is doing his best to get them out but that’s a lengthy process."
"They disabled the door code but they are still getting in."
"Even the girl has been taken to the hospital for overdosing a few times."
"Anything not nailed down in the gym and lobby are getting trashed and stolen."
"Lobby bathroom is trashed constantly."
"Cars in the parking lot are being broken into and catalytic converters are being stolen."
"These men stalk around the parking lot watching people."
"We do have visitor rules, which are being broken."
"It’s going to get worse before it gets better."
"My goodwill is gone, we want her out."- RotaryMicrotome
Always Do Your Research
"The introduction of non-native species as a means of solving an environmental problem."- Addwon
Not All Issues Can Be Solved Surgically
"Surgery to fix the mentally unwell."
"It sounds so good: no more reliance on medication, you’re good from now on."
"But it didn’t work."
"The outcomes were awful and it was frequently done without any sort of consent."
"It all could have been shut down fairly quickly if people were honest about what was happening, but careers and money was at stake."
"So many unnecessarily suffered."- raftsa
Ironic How Low The Success Rate Was
"Since the abysmal performance of American schools has been in the news recently, 'No Child Left Behind' and it's replacement 'Every Student Succeeds Act'."
"America has never had really good public education, but it used to be serviceable.'
"NCLB came in to try and create some milestones and accountability."
"Instead it made the problem worse.'
'ECSS came in and tried to address its problems, but changed the stuff that wasn't the problem and left the bad parts unscathed."
"Taken all together 57% of high school GRADUATES can't read at a 7th grade reading level and over a quarter are functionally illiterate."- Twokindsofpeople
We all want to help others, and make the world a better place.
But before we jump into action, it is important to stop and reflect who exactly we would be helping.
If anyone or anything at all.
People Who Don't Want Kids Share The Real Reason Why
Being a parent isn't for everybody.
That is a life lesson well learned.
Not everybody wants to have kids.
That maybe hard to believe, but the sooner we learn, the better.
If you want kids, please have them, just be sure and ready.
It's a hard journey.
Raising my dog has been stress enough.
Maybe if some of you hear why others don't want kids, you'll appreciate yours more.
Redditor Celestialsmoothie28 wanted to discuss why many of us don't want to bring a new generation into the world, so they asked:
"People who don't want kids, why?"
I will never have kids. You're all welcome.
Who Cares?Season 4 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Why would I want kids? Personally, I can’t think of a single compelling reason to have them. Kids deserve a parent who wants them, not someone who just tolerates them."
"Kids are a lifelong commitment to raise and care for another human, and I don’t think I’m capable of handling that. I like kids, but I don’t think I could raise one well, so I’m not going to try."
"Agreed. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. For those who think 'if you never try you never know”' are just plain selfish. So you’re gonna bring a kid to this world just to 'test out' if you can be a good parent?"
"You should know yourself better than anyone beforehand, whether you can be a good parent. I certainly not gonna use a person’s life for my own amusement since I know I wouldn’t be able to give the best to the child."
"I grew up with a brother 10 years younger than i am. Went from changing his diapers to teaching him how to mod Minecraft."
"Left to go to college. I call him nearly every night, and we still watch anime an play video games together through discord calls."
"I already had my kid. He's called my little brother. Just wish I understood my family's financial situation sooner."
Be Preparedbe prepared the lion king GIFGiphy
"As a parent, I always tell people that wanting the responsibility is the most important part. My baby daddy and I separated, but we co-parent so well, people are always shocked. We work together well because we both know we planned to have a child and raise her together, despite the status of our personal relationship."
The responsibility! The biggest lesson of all.
My Life... My Rulesfreedom GIFGiphy
"I enjoy freedom, I enjoy my relationship exactly as it is, I have a major fear of being pregnant, I like having money. Oh and I don’t like babies or kids. The reasons are endless."
Issues of a Saint
"I struggle with anxiety and anger issues and I wouldn’t want to pass that on to my child or have them have to grow up dealing with my anxieties and anger episodes. I just couldn’t do it and it wouldn’t be fair to them. Plus it’s real expensive. I’d rather have a life of peace and quiet and travel to figure myself out. To the moms: you guys are tough saints."
"I have back and hip issues that would have made carrying a child (and then also literally carrying a child) difficult. I like my free time and expendable income. I didn't feel like I was in a stable enough place financially, wasn't with the right partner at the right time, never had baby fever."
"I look around at the world, and have no desire to bring another life into this s**t show."
"In this economy?"
"I'd also like to add. Into this world? Our age pyramid is upside down. Only way to fix to is either by overpopulation, or bracing for difficult times for a while until it fixes itself."
"It isn't like I dislike children, at work I love to take care of them. But I don't have the heart to bring in any more. Otherwise, if my life situation would be better, I would totally love to foster or adopt. There are so many children who don't get parents."
Just... WHY?!Why Me Crying GIF by Team CocoGiphy
"Why would I want one? I get that it is the social default, but in a vacuum it sounds terrible. I barely feel like I have my sh*t together, and I never feel like I have enough time to do the things I want to do."
"Why would I want to give up on my free time entirely to raise a kid? Children are fine in small doses, but they are exhausting, stressful and the benefits seem minimal. I guess the biological drive skipped me."
Not everybody is meant to be a parent.
Know your truth.
People Confess Whether The Number Of Someone's Previous Sexual Partners Matter To Them While Dating
Sex. Let's have a frank discussion.
Most of us have it. And many of us have had it with several different people over time.
That shouldn't be a difficult truth to discuss.
So let's talk numbers.
Do we all have a number that is too high to accept from a partner?
Are the numbers none of our business as long everything turned out fine?
Reddit had some thoughts.
Redditor LaRata59 wanted to discuss everybody's past sexual history, so they asked:
"Does the amount of sexual encounters your partner has had matter to you? Why or why not?"
If you're willing to be intimate with a partner, you should be open to having difficult conversations.
Keep QuietAmy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I don’t mind, but ten minutes after sex I don’t want to hear your last girlfriend was 24 when you’re 42. Or hear how awesome sex was with your ex-wife, or how great sex was in Guam with your ex-girlfriend."
"I would care only because my wife and I have been together since high school and we both should have 1 partner each... each other. So if that's not true it would be a problem."
"Same here but 4 years a go my wife had a brief affair and I'm still struggling to get past it since we are still together (of sorts)."
"Me too. I found out 2 years ago. I think about it every day, I’m definitely not past it. We are still together and have been for 18 years. It has really destroyed me."
I was convinced...
"So long as they haven't run through my entire friend group, I don't care."
"A few years ago, I started to worry about a girl in our friend group that I suspected of having an eye on my boyfriend at the time. I expressed that to him, and he reassured me of the fact that he had several girlfriends and that he was not attracted to her anyway."
"She was single and she liked to party a lot. He concluded by telling me 'anyways that girl, she slept with all my friends.' I was convinced. Well, guess what, he's now married and has two kids with her."
Who Cares?Eddie Murphy Whatever GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy
"As long as the count doesn't continue increasing during the relationship, it doesn't matter at all. I have a past, too."
Who cares? Carry on...
Be Silentnot listening stephen colbert GIFGiphy
"No but also don't want to know, so I never ask."
"Yeah, as long as you're clean and not comparing me to past lovers. Also, I sure as f**k don't want to hear about them. I'm very visual, so I'm not trying to picture your previous sexcapades, thank you.
"I was seeing a girl that had a lot of guy friends. It would come to light that she had slept with all of them at one point. Co-workers, long time friends, boyfriends of her girlfriends etc. It's unnerving socially to know that so many people in the social circle you're joining has been with the person you're trying to have a relationship with."
"It would also come to light that she had a 'wild period' where she would hook up with 3-4 random guys in a week. I thought it was in the past so I looked the other way. But things like trauma, dissociation during intimacy, trust issues, bad boundaries with the opposite sex, judgment over your own sexual appetite etc were all becoming an issue."
"She eventually cheated while visiting family back home with someone she said had abused her physically and mentally. A lot of the times, it is a sign of someone who has serious mental health issues or very low self worth. Either case does not result in a healthy relationship and you should tread lightly."
"No, to a point. To me, the past only matter in its ability to catch up to the present. If someone has had sex with 50 people but it never has a negative effect on our life together and she still enjoys sex with me, then it’s not a problem."
"However if someone has had sex with 5 people and all 5 are frequently coming back into her life and causing drama for both of us, or if she can’t enjoy sex with me due to comparing it to a past partner, then that it is an issue."
"So to me it’s not the number, but the affect of the number. With that being said, it’s not something I would ask about because typically if the past is going to be a problem there are better warning signs."
"For me, a very introverted person, sex is one of the most intimate things in a relationship. And if the other person doesn't need the same emotional connection beforehand. I would feel just like another body in their 'collection.' But also I don't shame anybody partaking in the hookup culture. It's just not something for me."
Be SureIs This Thing On Bob GIF by RedbrickGiphy
"It does not matter to me however I’m still be cautious of STD/STI; so I’d prefer they get tested before we have sex."
The past is the past. Maybe let it be.
Redditors Explain Which Types Of People Get Treated With Less Sympathy Than They Deserve
CW: domestic violence.
People carry biases and false beliefs with them about a broad spectrum of things.
Unfortunately, some of those beliefs involve people, and those beliefs can limit or even hurt them.
Redditor anthropocener47 asked:
"What kind of people often get treated with less sympathy?"
"Just Lose Some Weight," They Say
"People who are overweight."
"There is this perception that all of my issues are because I am overweight."
"I'm a male who has been a victim of Domestic Violence, and let me tell you: People not only don't take you seriously, but they'll actually put you down."
"They'll talk s**t about you. They'll say you deserved it. They'll belittle you for getting beat up by a girl; god help you if you actually physically defended yourself in any situation where you were getting assaulted by a woman."
"The most I've ever done is restrain a woman when she was beating on me. And I've had people tell me that this was going 'too far' and that I should have just stood there and taken it. And I am NOT a little guy, which seems to make things worse."
"If you get your a** kicked, you're a b***h. If you defend yourself, you're the abuser. There's absolutely no winning in that situation."
"There is 100% no sympathy for male victims of domestic violence. It's sickening how uniformly society acts regarding this topic."
"People who lose their temper when desperately trying to get people to understand that they have been abused."
"It’s actually a serious problem in courts that abuse victims look crazy and unstable because they do normal human things like express emotion and are often quite emotional and anxious after their abuse so they are perceived as untrustworthy, shifty, easily confused, erratic and liars."
"Meanwhile, their abuser is calm and collected and charming and comes off very well because why wouldn’t they, none of this affects them. They just lie and get away with it and are believed that they are the stable one and their victim is crazy and the real abuser."
Those Seeking Self-Improvement
"People who made some bad choices in the past and are trying to better their lives."
The Bullied Kids
"Kids who are bullied."
"'Well, I didn’t see it happen.' No, because he did it when you weren’t looking. That’s the point."
"As a kid, I visited my grandparents in assisted living facilities several times a week. These were dementia wards where no one knew who anyone was. No one knew where they were or why they were there."
"Easily 90% of the time, we were the only family there. No one visited their crazy parents because it was scary and depressing."
"It’s really fueled my wish to study dementia and work with people who have it. Often they have no one to look out for them."
"People that don't smile. My best friend is an absolute angel of a person but I've only seen him smile a few times over the last seven years. Traumatic events are a motherf**ker."
"Chronically ill and disabled people who don’t get 'better' after a few months (because that’s not how chronic illness or disability f**king works)."
Themselves to Blame
"People with Lung Cancer or Type 2 Diabetes. The 'you did this to yourself' attitude."
An Unfair System
"People who stutter. People who are quiet. People with social anxiety. People who can’t speak English well. Men who don’t earn. Men who earn less. Women who can’t conceive. People with mental disabilities."
"People in 'unskilled' positions. Sure, a burger flipper or custodian doesn’t need a college degree, but unskilled does not equal not hard work."
"Having to prepare so much food in little time, deal with rude customers, and cleaning up stuff. The number of stories of people smearing poop on the walls. The stuff these people go through, people should feel sympathy."
Mental Illness on the Job
"I have BPD (Bipolar Disorder) and have suffered from depression for over 20 years."
"I've been applying for jobs lately where it asks for disability declaration and specifically mentions mental illness and I still have a hard time selecting it for fear of not being believed or it costing me the job."
"I had a hard time sympathizing with people who suffer from severe anxiety. My attitude was always 'just deal with it, stress is temporary.'"
"Last summer there was a series of events that triggered unprecedented anxiety for me, I didn't eat for days at a time, barely slept, and could barely function at work. It was absolutely debilitating and felt completely uncontrollable."
"A week on vacation helped but it came back as soon as I got home. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed a few meds, which helped a lot."
"Now I understand that kind of crippling anxiety, and I'm a lot more sympathetic to those who struggle to manage it."
"I LOOK so incredibly healthy. But I'm not. I'm crippled for life, and I'm in pain from it until it kills me. I keep quiet about it, because I don't want attention on it and I don't like to waste my energy making noise about it."
"But some people who find out are very weird about it."
"I look like a cherub. A cute young girl, with rosy cheeks, a lil chubby, very short, with a baby face. And seemingly healthy as heck."
"In reality, I'm a grown woman who is crippled as f**k, in agony most days, has hidden open sores under my hair, and arthritis in every joint including my neck and spine."
"I'm on more medications than both your grandparents combined. We're probably on some of the same ones. And for some of the ones I'm on, their doctor would refuse to give them."
"I might not live very long. But I also might, hard to say."
"But those times I have to fight to be treated like a person really and truly suck. Because My pain makes other people feel uncomfortable."
"There's a real disdain towards poorer people like they should magically be able to make more money."
"For lots of people, they have disadvantages that make that more difficult, like a lack of education or support, lack of time, illness or disability, or even just being stuck in a neverending cycle and having to time/money/ability to get themselves out."
"For some others, they prioritize other parts of life over money, and there's nothing wrong with making that choice for yourself."
The subReddit was left collectively shaking its head as the community thought about the various people who are often undervalued, underappreciated, and under-supported, simply because of who they are.
But the worst truth is that so many of these situations are unavoidable, like growing older or being ill. Even for those that could be corrected with time, like having more money, it would only make sense that supporting that person more would allow them to change their situation more quickly.
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, help is available 24/7 at the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233. You can also find additional support and resources on their website: https://www.thehotline.org/
Men Explain How They'd Honestly React If Their Friend Came Out To Them
Coming out of the closet is an inconvenient rite of passage for anyone who has been suppressing their authentic selves for the comfort of their heterosexual acquaintances.
While there have been some advances made regarding LGBTQ+ visibility with role models who are out, it's still impossible to predict friends' reactions.
This is exactly why some tend to reconsider declaring their sexual identity.
Curious to hear from straight males online about what their reactions might be, Redditor Glittering-Ask-7298 asked:
"Men of reddit, what would you do if you found out your homie is gay?"
Some guys really appreciated hearing the news.
"Nothing...I had this happen actually. I said congrats at first but then said 'that was a stupid response it's not like you're getting married.' We both laughed about my response and I told him I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me and that nothing changes between us if he thought it would."
It Started With A Homophobic Sister
"Had this happen to me as well. He’s been (and is still) one of my best friends since childhood. I had no idea, other than I had noticed he really never dated anyone to my knowledge. One day, I called his sister out for some homophobic stuff she posted on Facebook (I think it was about Lil Nas X), because I distinctly remembered her having several girlfriends in high school."
"My buddy texted me to send a virtual high-five and came out to me. I told him that it had honestly never occurred to me but made a lot of sense. He then went on to explain he had been in some relationships but kept them private for obvious reasons. I told him it meant a lot being one of the only people from our small town that he’s opened up to."
Michael, We Know
"A buddy of mine years ago came out to a whole group of us at a dinner once and we were just like, 'uhhh... Yeah, Michael, we know.' And then like 10 minutes later one of the group just goes 'WAIT! Hold on. Michael, dude, did you just come out to us? Were you not out before??' Apparently he was not, or at least he didn't intend to be..."
Some straight male friends deserve more credit.
Heat Of The Moment
"My buddy came out to one of my friends. He pulled him a side at like an airport when they were traveling or something. Of course he never pulled someone aside IRL like that, so it seemed pretty nuts. And he and was like, 'I have something important I have to tell you. I'm gay.'"
"My friend was like, 'Jesus f'king christ. That's it? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were gonna tell me you had cancer or something.' Of course in the moment it was nothing but love for my pal, showing he was going to be loved and accepted. And that him being alive and in his life was what mattered most."
My Best Friend Isn't Dying
"My best friend did the same to me. I was living overseas and he told me he needed to talk to me about something important but we had a 13 hour time difference. I was so stressed thinking he was dying or something. Came out and I was like 'oh okay! You had me thinking you were dying of cancer!' We still joke about how dramatic it all was. Our group as a whole suspected he was gay but were letting him figure it out and tell us in his own time!"
Not A Big Deal
"My best friend came out in high school and was so worried about what people would think of him. He cried when I told him I accept him regardless of what his sexual or gender preferences are. I didn't really do anything about it because I'm not a homophobe :P"
Here's the thing about true homies.
Added Benefit To The Friendship
"Most of my homies are gay. They help me not look homeless when we go out for dinner 😁."
"Honestly that's the big fear of gay guys when coming out to their straight homie, like they'll just walk away from the friendship or be really unsupportive but if he does that he was never a homie to begin with."
Continue Being The Best Man
"this happened with my best friend actually. He was terrified to tell me, and in retrospect it saddens me because it meant I made him feel like there was a chance I would judge him for it. He's still my best friend today and was the best man at my wedding, so the answer is, continue to be the best friend you can be."
Some levity goes a long way.
Calling Out His Relationship Status
"Stop making jokes about him not having a girlfriend and start making jokes about him not having a boyfriend."
"I had this happen to me, as well. I was like 'OH MY GOD, YOU EVIL GAY MAN! YOUR GAYNESS IS CAUSING ALL THE CROP FAILURES BECAUSE IT DISPLEASES THE LORD!' And then, naturally, we sacrificed him so that the rains would come."
It turns out that LGBTQ+ people generally don't have much to fear when it's time to come out on their own terms to friends.
Their reactions will either reinforce the fact that the friendship has always been authentic or superficial.
If coming out results in revealing the latter example, well, it was time to clean house anyway.
Keep the real homies close. They'll always have your back.