Having lots and lots of money is wonderful. Having very little money is really stressful and terrible.
But apparently it's a little more complicated than that. Once poor, now wealthy Redditors weighed in with some truths about what happens when money starts rolling in. Spoiler: "Mo money, mo problems" is totally a real thing but money is also really cool because you can buy helpful stuff.
u/dondrizzius asked: Rich people of Reddit that were poor before, how did money solve your problems and what new problems have appeared?
Through the Cracks.
Went through childhood in the foster system and fell through the cracks, ended up homeless a few times. Anyways I am not a 1%er but I do make more than 80% of Americans (yearly salary wise).
Money relieved me of stress. When I go shopping I don't check my bank account before I make a purchase, I have insurance so I am not afraid to go to the dentist or doctor, going out with friends is fun because I know I won't be financially struggling from a night out. It ultimately bought me a level of stability I never was used to and I am incredibly grateful.
My 'new problems' I wouldn't call problems, home maintenance, car upkeep, bills, etc. I am grateful those are my main worries these days. SpookyCritter
Downside:
I can now buy good gifts for my friends/family.
Downside: now I cant get them crappy gifts. WhiteHairedWidow
Just poor....
Not rich currently but due to my work skills I have been both flush with cash and scraping by. This position changes every so often.
When I had excess, forget it level of money, my immediate needs were taken care of so I could focus on other things/take on new projects.
People don't realize that when you don't have to worry about:
- Food for the next month(s)
- Basic household bills for the next month(s)
- Fuel for the car
you are so free to spend your energy on other projects and learn new things.
For me, the issues that having that much disposable income is the temptation to spend it. Lifestyle creep and keeping up with the Jones' will destroy people if the cash flow ever gets interrupted. Without that cash flow you can't afford you mortgage or your new car. I avoided it, luckily. Many others have not.
I bought a small house and a nice 15 year old truck when I had the money and then I stopped. I put my money in the bank/invested it. My monthly stay alive cost is under 1K. When the good times end, I still keep the lights on working a low paying job. Routine_Condition
Fawning service industry people.
Giphy
Fawning service industry people. Waitstaff, hotel, retail store people. It's embarrassing sometimes because I don't know how to react.
I have a sister who is middle class and three kids. I'm relied on to provide certain expensive things for the kids. Once in a while is fine. It's fun. But because I have no kids, she thinks there should be a constant stream of fun activities and gifts coming from me because "what else are you spending your money on." the-camster
I can go to whole foods.....
Grew of middle class, until 12 years old, then mom had a stroke and parents lost family business and was essentially piss poor broke. I think parents sheltered my brother's and I from it a lot. Always had something to eat but always moving around different homes, xmas presents consisted of socks, underwear and candy bars. It sucked during high school. I was jealous. Went to college, got a job, and so did my brother's. My brothers started doing well and started supporting our parents. I ended up going to med school. Getting through residency. Still paying off massive loans but now in a place where I don't have to worry about my car breaking down, I can go to whole foods, I can buy friends and family dinner without thinking about it. I can pay for my parents dental work without thinking too much about it.
I can invest in stocks, invest in a good home, maintain the home and my cars and even make money on my house by investing correctly.
The biggest difference is that. Now I can make financial decisions that on their own make money for me, with real estate and with investing. And the ratio of this easy capital games money only gets better every year.
When you are poor you own nothing and the only way of making money is to work but if your paycheck cant support your lifestyle it is very difficult to break cycle. gnfknr
Payoffs....
We weren't really that poor but we lost a good part of our income and the biggest problem is I cant spend money without stressing about how many hours I will have to work to pay it off. AdaLovelaceKing
The 1%...
Not "rich" by 1% standards, never been "poor" (I always had a support system, even if I had no money myself).
That being said, the number one thing I noticed is holidays aren't as stressful, because money isn't an issue. Shopping for presents is relatively easy, because I'm limited by creativity, not weighing "how ashamed am I going to be to give this crappy gift to someone vs how much do I want to eat this week."
The main problems come from being in that place where "enough" is never enough. As long as I watch my spending, I can mostly buy the occasional thing I want, but I don't have enough that I can buy "whatever." It's also a dilemma when it comes to helping out my friends. I don't have enough that I can afford to solve (or really significantly impact) my friends financial problems, while at the same time I want to be generous/helpful when I can.
On the gripping hand, it becomes easy to be taken for granted or even worse, taken advantage of. Springing for the occasional meal can easily become being expected to pay for restaurants that are more expensive than I want to be going to in the first place. You want to nip that crap in the bud real quick.
But I have a lot of friends who are literally looking through couch cushions for gas money. At the same time, if I gave them gas money all the time, I wouldn't be able to pay my own bills. So it sucks to sit there and have to figure out when I can actually help vs when I'm lighting myself on fire to keep someone else warm. JesterBarelyKnowHer
Missing You Much...
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Kinda the opposite here, was fairly wealthy living in a large single family home, now living in a 250 sqft trailer. The biggest thing is probably not having the time to be able to enjoy ourselves. Working 7 days a week just to make ends meet isn't fun. Before, we could go anywhere on a whim and not have to worry about missing out on the money.
It. Is. Heaven.
It is hard to overstate the joy of having a RELIABLE car, with gas, with insurance, that I just take to a guy if something needs to be fixed. It isn't brand new or fancy, it's just a car I can trust.
It. Is. Heaven.
New problem; my nieces and nephews hit me up for money whenever they have some sort of travel event they found that they want to go on. Sometimes the answer is no and that often causes hard feelings. picksandchooses
Stay Calm...
Giphy
Can't say I'm rich but for my age (22) I'm wealthy. I always had to think a lot before buying anything, having money makes it much easier. I don't have to say no to my friends when they invite me for something because I don't have the money, always so embarrassing.
Still I'm always afraid I lose it again and I end up being poor again. It's a constant anxiety. xDariius
One thing I can say for sure though is I will never take normal things for granted ever again. How I miss having a dishwasher and a clothes washer and counter space. I miss having an oven big enough for a tray of cookies. I miss having more than one bathroom in the house. If I were to ever have these things again, I'd never ever look at them how I did before, I'd be eternally more grateful than I ever had been. Reddit
Necessary, not sufficient
In the German language there is a saying that goes: "Geld macht nicht glücklich, aber es beruhigt ungemein." It translates to: "Money doesn't make you happy, but it calms you down immensely." It seems to be really true.
There's no going back..
Money allows me to not worry. It doesn't make me happy, but it frees up my mind to BE happy, because I don't have to spend time worrying about how I'm going to pay the next bill.
Lifestyle creep is a very real thing, if you're looking for a "problem." We've gotten used to this level of money, so if it were to go away, it would be a pretty big problem pretty quickly. Our bills have risen along with our income.
I can now buy good gifts for my friends/family.
Downside: now I cant get them shi**y gifts
Just never seems to be enough...
Giphy
I can afford the good toilet paper now. The only problem is, I'm still not rich enough to have someone wipe for me.
Outta the woodwork
What new problems have appeared: people suddenly become very friendly if they need money and they stop being friendly if you don't loan them (more). Also loans are gifts in their head.
I am in a similar boat. Trying to help my sister out of credit card debt, I have been buying them groceries. Hoping they would put the money onto the credit card. Later I learned with all the money they had "saved", her husband went out and "invested" in some new trading cards. However i try and help family it always seems to backfire.
Easy, but not simple
If you obtain a large sum of money in a vacuum (metaphorically, not in a Dyson) then yeah having money is not a bad thing and can't be construed as such. The reality though is that generally large amounts of wealth are obtained through a huge amount of work which almost assuredly brings problems. That being said, problems like work/life balance, managing people and so on would be preferable for almost anyone over wondering how you are going to pay your rent or bills next month.
The long con is doable
Basically, money is a safety net. I feel like I can buy my way out of problems fairly easily. Also, not being poor bring economy of scale on everything... like, I can cook a meal for 4 adults with $7 because I have all the staples in my pantry.
NO MORE BRATS
I have to make sure my kids aren't entitled little brats and don't grow up to be entitled, awful adults.
License to chill
Went from extremely lower middle class (where I didn't carry insurance because I couldn't afford it, and could never pay all my bill in any given month) to 1%er. The biggest difference is bar none the loss of that fear and shame. My wife is an incredibly empathetic sympathetic person but she came from money and doesn't understand the feeling. The stress, shame, and sleeplessness that comes from not having money just can't be explained unless you've lived them. Not having that feeling, just knowing I can buy what I want (with in reason, don't confuse the 1% with the .01%) is one of the greatest changes in my life. Having come from almost nothing to where I'm at now there are no problems. The problems I face now are totally first world problems, because money.
Level up to Robinhood powers
I can give now. We support youth development causes in our town, but more importantly, we pay "scholarships." This is when you are signing your kid up for something cool, and you pay 2-4 times the amount, so the poorer kids can do it too. This was my childhood. My best friend was rich, but his parents really respected mine, and they also loved me. Every cool thing that came up that I knew I couldn't afford turned out to be just "free!" My friends mom paid double for everything, and neither I or my parents ever knew until she had passed.
What's that smell?
"That there really was a gas leak in the apartment building."
"Thankfully, the fire didn't cause much damage."- yamsnavas2.
There's a reason the bill is so high.
"Our water usage at work went up a lot."
"They checked all the toilets, sinks for leaks, couldn't find anything."
"I mentioned that it seemed to coincide with the new water cooler system installation, maybe that should be checked."
"They basically laughed at me."
"That stupid water system never worked good and the guy came in 3 different times and said it was just the filter."
"Every month it needs changed???"
"Didn't seem right."
"Finally a different technician came in and result was it was never installed correctly."
"I asked, 'could that have anything to do with the increased water usage that started when this got installed?'"
" He smiled 'I wondered if anyone caught that, yes the valve was not correct and water has been running'."
"For 5 months!!"
"If only they had listened."
"Total redemption!"- McTee967.
Nbc Jump GIF by SuperstoreGiphyHave you ever looked at a map?
"I had a coworker doubling down repeatedly, claiming that new Zealand is north of Australia."
"I even told her about how I had lived there and she just assumed I was such a huge idiot that I didn't know where on the globe I was living."
"Brought the smartphone out and put an end to that."
"Let me just say, it's ok to not know where all the countries are."
"The problem is if you heavily assert you are right and others are stupid."- PlopPlopPlopsy.
Is it supposed to hurt this much?
"My husband told me that I was a 'baby' about my IUD insertion and insisted that it wasn't painful."
"That my concerns about entrusting a stranger to shove a foreign object into my body were paranoid."
"I listened to him because really, the info you'd find online is overwhelmingly positive."
"Long story short: the provider placed it wrong, didn't check/fix it when I asked her to."
"I spent 4 years in pain that I eventually 'got used to."
"It expelled half way out my cervix, had to get it yanked out at the ER."
"That's when I was told that copper IUDs are notorious for breaking inside the uterus."
"Because it broke inside me."
"The cherry on top?"
"The female gyno with three kids I saw to get the broken piece removed told me that 'cervixes don't really feel pain' and that I didn't really need to remove it."
"Goes without saying, I was in severe pain for 2 weeks straight before this appointment."
"Tons of women came out with their stories about lawsuits over IUDs, how they got pregnant with an IUD."
" Stories similar to mine."
"And how women should really be offered anesthesia or pain pills for this procedure."
"And when my husband was surprised to learn about the pain I endured I reminded him 'You called me a baby and everyone else told me it was all in my head'."
"Which is why I didn't talk about it."- PopK0rnAndMMs.
Seems like you could learn something from me.
"In sixth grade chemistry a teacher asked us what element was a gas that was lighter than air, and extremely flammable/explosive."
"I grew up on science because of what my dad does for a living and Bill Nye."
"I knew about the Hindenburg, and so I was really proud of myself when I raised my hand and said 'Hydrogen'."
"The teacher laughed at me and said that no, it was Helium, and the entire rest of the class proceeded to laugh too."
"Almost three decades later I work in a lab now, and f*ck that teacher I was right."- vanyel_ashke.
Season 8 Teacher GIF by FriendsGiphyThe dictionary is your friend.
"I have worked as a translator and a proofreader."
"For one of my translations, it went something like 'and he piqued her interest'."
"My proofreader docked me for an inaccuracy and switched it to 'and he peaked her interest'.”
"I’m still salty."
"I tried to get the agency I was working for to remove this person as a proofreader since I question his/her command of the English language."
"Had a similar problem with the phrase “lynch pin” used metaphorically."
"I stopped working with that agency because it pissed me off so much being 'corrected' incorrectly."- spot_o_tea.
spelling GIFGiphyNo, that's just an illusion.
"When I told my mom that the clouds were moving and she laughed like I was crazy."-
Did you even read the menu?
"I was in the passenger's seat at a Carl's Jr Drive Thru with a friend."
"He asked what I wanted and I requested the Fried Zucchini."
"He puts half his body through the window to the voice box and goes on this 'My friend here thinks you have some kind of food I know you don't have so I am just going to say it for laughs because you will get a kick out of this'."
"She wants FRIED ZUCCHINI' and starts laughing."
" Well guess who ends up eating fried zucchini."- User Deleted.
And how do you spell that?
"Believe it or not, the pronunciation of my own middle name."- ThePlantie.
We have standards in this community...
"Not me but my Mom tells a story about how she wrote a paper for school about how tough her small town makes it for any new people moving in."
"Basically if you didn't grow up there you were a social outcast for decades and were excluded from a lot of things."
"The teacher didn't agree so she got a bad grade and scoffed at."
"A few years later a news paper reporter essentially wrote the same thing and won a local award for calling out the same small town BS that was going on."- Jberg18.
It's pretty amazing that anyone in this day and age would jump to tell someone they're wrong without having any authority.
Particularly when someone can quickly look up the truth on their phone in less than a minute.
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Watch where you're going!!
"Switch lanes without looking."- yamsnavas2.
But you're such an easy target.
"Criticize you and laugh like it’s common practice or just part of the conversation."- oneandahalfeggs123
Ha Ha Lol GIF by Pierce The VeilGiphyPeople just love me!
"Repeatedly telling everyone that you're 'such a good person'."
"If you have to constantly say that about yourself then you might not be that much of a good person."
"Kinda like the 'I'm a nice guy' situation."
"I had a team leader who would say that about herself."
"She's the reason everyone quit the team ,including myself."- grumpycoffeee.
"I'm right, you're wrong."
"Wildly overestimating their knowledge/competence, while also underestimating the competence of actual experts."
"'Everyone that works with ___ are so dumb, they should just do [this] and [this] but they only care about ___'"- chshcat.
know it all boomerang GIFGiphy"You're kind of in my way."
"Stand in the way of aisles, doorways, etc., then actually act offended that you dare say 'excuse me' when you need to get through."
"I get people sometimes loose track of where they are and don't mean to accidentally block access ways."
"But most people actually are embarrassed they did it and legitimately apologize and immediately get out of the way."
"Jerks however feel entitled to block the way and think you're the one imposing on them for asking them to move."- llcucf80.
"Cause you're there for me too..."
"They remember you are their friend only when they need you or need something from you."- SuvenPan.
Oops!
"Not apologizing when they found out they were clearly wrong."
"Destroying your property because they are entitled."- kitchen_clinton.
Ugh, can you believe him?
"When I meet someone who spends more than half their time complaining about other people they know."- ofsquire.
earth litter GIF by Lil Dicky"Hey, you!"
"The impatient finger snapping that some people do to get someone's attention such as in a classroom or when asking for the check at a restaurant, etc."
"It's just degrading to snap at someone like that and instantly puts a bad taste in my mouth."- Sixhaunt·
It's always a good idea to try to really get to know someone, and not resort to pre-judgement.
But sometimes, one single action can simply say it all.
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He was only about 10, his ADHD meant he had poor impulse control and would climb facades on buildings, or rocks, or trees, or the sides of movie theaters. I would often have to grab him before he darted out into traffic, etc. I basically didn't go out or have a social life until college because of my parents rules and obsession with church (six days a week is incredibly unhealthy.)
And no, it didn't keep me out of trouble. It just made me a better liar who felt no remorse for the lies.
When your over-reactions and "Christification" of everything remove honesty as a possibility for anything, you make lying the only form of communication possible.
Reddit user AlePiga asked:
"People who grew up with strict parents, what’s the dumbest rule you had to live with?"
Strict rules clearly didn't work out well for these people:
Rotating Curfew?
"Rotating curfew types so none of them were overused."
"Today is the homework curfew, no going out until its all done AND checked (extra time wasted) Oh, no homework today? well dinner is at 4pm and you cant go out after dinner."
"..And today is the darkness curfew, which is around 4pm, not sunset or actual darkness, just when sunset is kinda starting. Worse during winter months."
"..And today is mom's workout class, you have to stay late at school or get taken along, and no you cant be dropped at home even if its on the way."
"NO you cant go out if you take the bus and get home alone, you have to stay there because nobody else is home yet. Whats that, no homework? well I've suddenly decided you need to read more, you are staying in."
"Yeah Mom was a super control freak for no reason."
-DonnieJuniorsEmails
Common Cans
"We couldn't drink soda out of the can in public because only 'common people' did that."
"I never understood it as a kid. I'm still not 100% sure why my Mum had this rule."
"As an adult I thought it's perhaps to do with people drinking alcohol outside. I asked her as an adult and her response was 'Well it is common looking' so I still don't know, honestly!"
-zerbey
"At cookouts and parties we have a small town rural District judge who absolutely refuses drinks in cups in public, and only allows himself and his family to drink from cans."
"He said it was about the implication of holding a cup, where the substance inside could be construed as an alcoholic drink."
"Such fun to have them around."
-Euphoric_Splinter
Little Rascals Reaction GIFGiphySeeing Other People
"I couldn't see the same person multiple times in a row."
"I had to hang out with a different friend before I could see the same friend again. I still have 0 idea what the logic there was, it was the rule for ANY friend I saw consistently."
-atlas_mornings
"Concerned about you dating maybe? Or just being a control freak."
-adeon
"Honestly they did this with any gender of friend so I'm leaning towards the control option"
-atlas_mornings
Tracking
"My phone had to be downstairs and plugged in in our kitchen, my parents had to know my password, and could read or open my phone at any time."
"I used to stay after school for an extra 15-20 minutes before headed home. In many cases since I’d 'Already gotten to see my friends' I wouldn’t be able to hang out when they went to movies, a friends house, etc."
"When I got a girlfriend, suddenly I wasn’t to be trusted with anything."
"I had to go straight home and could no longer stay at friends houses overnight. I was 18 and had my own car."
"I also got my phone taken away for several weeks after some of my friends sent 'inappropriate' memes in a group chat. I had no part in it, which my parents knew since they read everything, but I still got punished."
"When I was 19, and living in dorms, I finally turned off tracking on my phone so my parents couldn’t track my location."
"Not because I was doing anything bad, just because my mother had texted me the night before after I went to pick friends up from a club, and she demanded to know why I was there. I just couldn't handle being tracked any more."
"The next day, while I was at work, my parents drove to my work location and confiscated my car for removing tracking."
-HoppyTaco
Doorway To Drama
"You can't close your door, if you do we remove it."
-Pineapplep1zz4
"In my house, it wasn’t allowed to be closed for sleeping, it was only allowed to be closed if your parent was in the room with you and wanted it closed."
"You want the door closed to change your clothes? Better do it in the bathroom and don’t take too long or the door will be opened. And behave or you might lose your bathroom door privileges."
-scarfknitter
Trap Door Doors GIFGiphyStep-Rules
"When my dad got remarried I was 17 and had to move, my stepmother had the stupidest rules."
"Everyone had to sit in the same chair at the table, even if not during dinner time. She'd throw a tantrum if someone sat in a different chair."
"No hanging out with friends on the weekends"
"She would, and I kid you not, turn off the WiFi for the entire day if even one person decided not to go to church."
"We weren't allowed to walk through a bathroom - it was the best way to get to a part of the house. You had to walk around multiple rooms if you didn't just cross through that bathroom. I wish I was joking when I say she guarded that bathroom one night."
"Everyone has to go to bed at the exact same time (9:00PM) because the youngest 'wouldn't be able to sleep if other people were awake' - the youngest was 11 at the time."
-JscJake1
Gender Studies
"Not being allowed to study certain subjects because of my gender."
"My parents really never accepted the fact that I study criminology. They still blabber about how I should be studying tourism management since it’s more 'feminine'."
"My mom never had the chance to finish tourism college because of having me so she wants me to achieve her dream of becoming a flight attendant."
"She was a lousy mother and wants me to become what she wanted, but I have my own dreams to pursue. I can't live my life like it's a do-over of hers."
-louskey
pushing air travel GIFGiphyJesus And Breadsticks
"When I was 17 I went on a date with a 16 year old girl who was new to my school. She had moved there from Northwest Arkansas. Her parents were really strict."
"When I showed up to our date I was told that we'll be traveling in her parent's car. I had to sit in the front with her dad and she sat in the back with her mom. They talked to me about Jesus the entire ride to the Olive Garden."
"She left a hand written note in my locker on Monday apologizing. No, we didn't end up together."
-SuperMadCow
"Still worth it cause of the endless breadsticks."
-DnDYetti
Wrestling With Hypocrisy
"No watching wrestling, because it will make you g*y."
"I've put a bike lock on the fridge. no midnight snacks for anyone."
"Read one book everyday. If you cannot, you'll write sentences."
"I'm annoyed at the world. Get off the video games and go outside."
"No metal or classic rock because the Devil will influence you."
"No Trading Cards Because the Devil created it."
"No UFC because it's too violent."
"Basically, my dad made the rules and they were outright pathetic as I reflect back on it. That was only because he was an a**hole, and everything he did was hypocritical."
"He told us never to smoke pot, but a few years later we walk in and see him completely stoned, eating smarties and watching Jackass."
"Good thing I was considered a rebel in his eyes because I would've hated being a tool like him."
-Puzzle_Boxx
FOMO
"I wasn't allowed to see most of the TV series kids watch because they were 'violent', 'distracting' or 'a bad influence'. Basically, when my friends talk about their childhood series or TV shows the only thing I say is 'sounds interesting'."
-CrushLovesBeingRyu
"Toooootally relate."
"All my friends' jaws drop when I say I never saw an episode of Phineas and Ferb or, like, Invader Zim. Those Cartoon Network or Disney Channel shows, I was just never allowed to watch them."
"I'm an adult now and it's at that point where I can't really go back to watch them just because I'm not really the 'target audience' and I don't have nostalgia, so they just seem so... childish and I hate that I can't enjoy them as hard as I try."
-NebulaDragon416
phineas and ferb GIFGiphyStrict rules typically come from a place of love (and fear) - we get that. But maybe try counseling instead of ... this?
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