Revenge Seekers Begrudgingly Admit The Times They Went Too Far To Get Even
Revenge Seekers Begrudgingly Admit The Times They Went Too Far To Get Even
[rebelmouse-image 18357510 is_animated_gif="While seeking revenge, dig two graves---one for yourself." ~ Douglas Horton
The urge to seek revenge is hard to resist, but sometimes the payback exceeds the original offense and leaves the seeker of revenge filled with remorse. Or at least a little bit of regret.
Reddit user OvertOperation asked "What revenge of yours hit the victim way worse than you thought it would, to the point you said 'maybe I shouldn't have done that'?"
Here are some stories of revenge gone wrong.
Minty Fresh
[rebelmouse-image 18359418 is_animated_gif=Way back in elementary school a friend threw a piece of chalk that hit me square in the forehead. It was the most humiliating moment for younger me as everyone who saw that started laughing their arses off.
I plotted and planned my revenge, to get back in the exact same fashion over the next couple of days. One fine day weapon in hand, I find him perfectly placed a chalk-throw away from me.
I yell out his name and quickly launch the projectile as he spins around. For some reason he had his mouth open as he looked at me and the piece of chalk flew directly into his throat. His eyes widen and he starts choking. I stood frozen in shock as he fell on his knees coughing. Luckily somebody grabbed him from behind and thumped his back, so he swallowed the piece. An adult walks in, cannot remember who it was at the time, but she looks at me and asks what happened. At this point I'm shaking realizing that I narrowly killed my friend. I say it was a mint. My friend, also shaken at this point, laughs it off saying it went straight into his throat and he didn't taste it. The adult shakes her head and says next time just hand it like a normal person and walks away.
Years later when we were moving away to another country I remind him about the incident and come clean about the whole thing. He snaps and yells "I knew it!"
Sleeper Hold
[rebelmouse-image 18359419 is_animated_gif=This kid in my class at school kept insulting my mother, so I said to him that if he insults her one more time that I'll get him after class. "Your mum's a sl#$!" he replied. So after class I waited for him outside and when he came out the classroom I got him in a head lock.
He forced his way up out of it, but he managed to crack the top of his head off a fire alarm, gashed his head open... he was bleeding all down his face and had to go to hospital. He was off school for two weeks after that too. I felt terrible about it.
Throw Her Into the Pit
[rebelmouse-image 18359420 is_animated_gif=When I was about 7 or 8 there was this girl at my school that was absolutely horrible, we'll call her Cindy. Cindy would run up to you and pull your hair out, steal the toy you were playing with, eat your snack at snack time, etc. In other words, she was a real witch.
One day as we were finishing up recess in the playground, she came up to me, pulled my hair, and took some with it. That was the last straw. As the teacher was gathering everyone inside and wasn't looking our way, I grabbed Cindy by her pigtail and dragged her over to the playground. Now this playground was built weird with a sort of enclosed area in the middle of 3 bridges that formed a triangle that you couldn't get out of. Sometimes us bigger kids would jump in there during hide and seek and climb out later. But Cindy couldn't because she was shorter. So I picked her up and threw her down in there and left to go back inside. It wasn't until about an hour later when the teacher realized that Cindy wasn't in class. I didn't say where she was and it took them another half hour to find her. I got in trouble and had to spend the next week in the principals office.
And I lost my Gameboy for a month. I did regret it immediately since I was on my first play through of Pokemon Red when I had my Gameboy taken away from me. I was devastated and it was one of the longest months of my childhood. But Cindy never messed with me again.
Unnecessary Roughness
[rebelmouse-image 18359421 is_animated_gif=Two days ago, actually, in my soccer game this one clumsy defender kept catching my ankles seconds after I would pass the ball away. So one play he was clearing the ball and I just wanted to lay the kid out. As he was on his plant foot swinging I hit him with my shoulder hard and as he was falling he grabbed me and took me down with him. I landed on his arm and it snapped like a twig between the wrist and the elbow. I feel awful.
Collateral Damage
[rebelmouse-image 18359422 is_animated_gif=When I was bullied by some local kids I filled the gas tank of their family car with grass, dirt, sticks and stones, bottle caps, pretty much anything I could jam into the tank.
I felt sorry for that poor car.
Branded
[rebelmouse-image 18359424 is_animated_gif=I was 11, my older brother was 16. We would fight and argue but one time I was running up the stairs away from him and he whipped the back of my legs with a long rubber chew toy. It left a pretty big, figure-8-shaped welt on my legs. I knew he was faster and stronger than me and I knew if I tried to attack him he'd stop me. So, I grabbed a flathead screwdriver and held it over the stove until it was red hot. I ran up to him and very openly went to stab him, knowing he'd stop me. He grabbed my wrist to stop my thrust (as anticipated) and I accidentaly pushed the red hot head of it into his forearm as hard as I could.
Big Bro
[rebelmouse-image 18359425 is_animated_gif=Had a neighbor yell at my younger brother about his weight and I took it extra personal. Didn't know how to get him back without getting caught. Then I figured out I could place nails just under the back of the tire so when he pulled out of the driveway he'd run over them.
Turns out he was super poor and couldn't afford the repairs. My dad had to carpool with him to work for a month or so.
I've never told anyone.
Yo Mama
[rebelmouse-image 18359426 is_animated_gif=I think I was 15 and was in class and sat next to a friend of mine. He, for no reason, began to say: "HAHA your bald father" which I followed up with "HAHA your bald mother". He started crying and ran to the teacher. I honestly forgot his mom had cancer and was getting chemo.
Swimming Hole
[rebelmouse-image 18359427 is_animated_gif=When I was a kid I was at a local river (a great swimming spot lots of people came to). My friend pushes me in the river and naturally I came up spluttering and a little red in the face, but it was all in good fun. For the rest of the day I planned to get her back, waiting for my opportunity to push her in, until she was at the edge of the river drying off. I pushed her, but her flailing and the slippery nature of the rocks she was on made her slip on the spot, and instead of just splashing into the water, she landed on her back hitting the rocks hard, and then fell into the water.
She was winded, but thankfully otherwise unharmed. Our parents were furious at me, and I just spent the few seconds it took to get her out (felt like a lot longer to me) just hoping I hadn't broken her back or something.
Mr. Pink
[rebelmouse-image 18359428 is_animated_gif=A room mate poured water on me while I was asleep. So I filled all his shoes and the pockets of all his trousers with Chili Powder. I didn't realize the powder had dye in and it stained everything, including any shirts he had tucked into work trousers and a lot of items he washed with them.
Trip Up
[rebelmouse-image 18359429 is_animated_gif=A lot of the boys in my sixth grade class thought it was hilarious to try and trip people. They'd get you no matter how careful you were. Well I was pretty good at avoiding it, but when I was in gym class this kid named Joey got me hard. I was dribbling down court and he nailed me. I face planted hard. So I thought about how to get him, and I got him at lunch. He was holding a lunch tray, so his hands weren't as useful. He nailed a table and lost a tooth. I got suspended for 10 days, and a strict no tripping policy got implemented, immediate suspensions if caught.
Slip Up
[rebelmouse-image 18359430 is_animated_gif=When we were kids, my sister threw water at me and ran away so I picked up my glass of water and ran after her. I threw the water from the glass at her once I had her cornered. Unfortunately the glass had slipped out of my hand and it hit her right across her face.
Deep Doo
[rebelmouse-image 18359432 is_animated_gif=Back in middle school a friend of mine threw a small wadded piece of paper at me. I retaliated by throwing the only thing I could find, which was mud close to my shoes. Smacked him right in the face with it.
It turned out to be dog poo. I still vividly remember his angry "wtf man I throw paper at you and you throw dog poo?"
Overwrite
[rebelmouse-image 18359433 is_animated_gif=My older brother was always quite horrible to me as a child and my parents never really did much about it, he was also much bigger than me so I couldn't retaliate in a physical way cause I would be swiftly cripple cross faced/walls of Jericho'd. One day I had just had enough, My revenge? He had been playing Rome Total War for a good 6 hours a day for about 3 weeks. I started a new game and overwrote his save file.
Never seen fury like it.
I regretted it at the time cause he was so angry it scared me and it made him dislike me even more. But now I praise my 13 year old self for hitting him where it clearly hurt most.
Kids Can Be Cruel
[rebelmouse-image 18359434 is_animated_gif=When I was little my friends kept pointing at the little girl on the box of the board game Operation and saying it looks like me. So I pointed at the big fat guy and said 'that's your mom' and didn't realize she was behind me
Casualties of War
[rebelmouse-image 18359435 is_animated_gif=Coworker and I had a friendly prank war spanning two years. Close to the end of our war he "iced" my car.
Icing involves taking the hose to the parking lot every half hour and spraying a light mist over your victims car when it's below zero out. I finished my 12 hour shift to find a car encased in 2 inches of ice.
My revenge was, I thought, both more inconvenient for him and less freezing my backside off for me. I decided to take a bed sheet, drape it over his car, and only took 4 or 5 trips out with the hose the next night.
So the next morning he finds his car with a quarter inch of ice freezing a sheet to his car. When he started peeling off the sheet he pulled his windshield wipers, arms and all off of his ratty jeep.
I got a very pissed off phone call. I felt bad, the unwritten rule was "embarrassing or inconvenient, no damage". I paid for repairs, and he got his revenge. He planted a dozen pieces of smoked herring throughout my car. Took me 6 months to find the last piece. Hidden under the carpet under the back window of my car. I can still smell it, I don't even own the car anymore....
Dog Days
[rebelmouse-image 18359436 is_animated_gif=I grew up in a semi-rural area, and the neighbors used to let their dog roam free. The dog constantly pooped on our lawn (even the back lawn). My parents would kindly ask the neighbors to please keep the dog locked up, but then grumble about it to each other at home. My sister and I (8 and 11 at the time) though we would be super helpful, and get a little revenge too, so we got a shovel and flung all of it we could find at their house. And that was a lot!
Yeah, it really was a little too far, and the neighbors did not take it well. And seeing as we lived in a fairly small community, everyone found out about it too.
Steel Belted
[rebelmouse-image 18359437 is_animated_gif=Had a roommate who basically let his new girlfriend move in to our house in college. She helped herself to everything in the house but never contributed. Finally she parked in my parking spot and that was my breaking point. I let all the air out of all of her tires, thinking she'd just air them back up and it would be an inconvenience. Instead she ended up buying all new tires. Whoops. Never came clean about it.
People Confess Dreaming Of Doing Something All Their Life Then Hating It Once They Did It
Reddit user buzzkill007 asked: 'Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?'
They say "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
You know, the notion that we shouldn't fear things we haven't tried and that getting out of our comfort zone could lead to a wealth of wonderful discoveries.
Most times, fear isn't preventing us from trying the things we've been wanting to try–whether it's a new career or a hobby. We just haven't gotten there yet.
But take note, it's not always what it seems once we get there.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor buzzkill007 asked:
"Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?"
The stress level in medical professions is not for everyone.
Helping Saving Lives
"Being an EMT"
"I had planned on it being my lifelong career since middle school. I loved the medical field and wanted to save lives but knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to get through medical school."
"I got into training as soon as I graduated high school and I was top of my class in the educational sense, but as soon as I started doing ride-alongs everything just kind of fell apart on me."
"I didn’t fit in well with the firefighters, which sounds stupid but I think I really needed that brotherhood if I was going to survive in that field. The real problem, however, was my empathy. I knew quickly that I would not be able to see people on their worst days everyday. I could deal with broken bones and blood, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the screams."
"I work for a museum now lol."
– Livingroxets
The Young Widower
"I met quite a few paramedics whilst doing work in the vaccination centres last year. One of them had recently quit, and I asked why. She told me she had been on a call out with a young couple and a baby. The mum had a headache, and the baby was crying in bed so the dad went to soothe the baby whilst the mum laid down on the sofa. When the dad came back to the mum, she had passed away. I wasn't told what she died of but the girl telling the story was getting upset over it. She hated the idea of this child no longer having a mother, and the dad having lost his partner with absolutely no warning, and so young. So it wasn't even a gruesome one, just an upsetting one that made her give it up."
– Isgortio
The Guilt Complex
"My brother was an EMT because he wanted to help people. Started to blame himself for the people he couldn’t save, we almost lost him. Thank God he had some pretty stellar friends who went looking for him at 2am. EMTs are a different breed man, I don’t know how they do it."
– Lonely-Ninja
The Thing About Empathy
"The empathy thing is very interesting. My medical friends and family would always tell me I'd be great in the medical field because I'm so caring. That is precisely why I would be awful in the medical field. I hate seeing people suffering."
– Tim3-Rainbow
At first, these seemed desirable until they learned it was anything but.
Weightlessness
"I couldn't wait to 'pull g's' in an airplane. Then I did. It sucked."
– papafrog
"I cannot stress enough how fast pulling Gs gets old. The first couple turns are fun but then it’s like, 'I don’t feel good.' Fun times getting picked up from training sites by helicopter pilots on flight training and you’re just looking out the side of the Blackhawk at nothing but ground and you’re like are helicopters supposed to turn like this?"
– anon
Career As An Animator
"All my life I wanted to make cartoons."
"I fought with tooth and nail to reach the top."
"Then I interned for an old studio in Burbank specializing in cartoons about a certain yellow family."
"Then, after college, I became a mechanic and never looked back."
– DreyfusBlue
Formerly Aspiring Craftsman
"Blacksmithing. I watched a ton of blacksmithing content on youtube, got SUPER intrigued and wanted to build my own setup in the backyard. My Father talked me into trying a class before jumping in headfirst, and I am glad I did. My Father and I were the only two in the class that day so we got all the attention from the instructor which was awesome, he really helped us both perfect our techniques and corrected any mistakes quickly so we didn't form any bad habits, it was the best instructor I have ever had for anything, guy was an amazing teacher. He even offered to let us stay for a couple more hours to make another piece, which we took him up on. After all that, an amazing class, 3 metal pieces that I worked on and created by myself by hand, I walked away... dissatisfied. I think metal as a medium just felt very hard to work with, everything is super hot and dangerous, and I just didn't see myself wanting to ever do it again. I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands."
– Roadronner
It Takes A Different Breed To Lead
"Being the boss of people. Boss is a title, but being an effective leader of people is an emotionally draining, often thankless roller coaster."
– DingbatDarrel
People who tried their hand at becoming lawyers found it to be extremely unpleasant.
Fighting For The Environment
"'I want to be an environmental lawyer when I grow up! I'm going to help save the world!' F'king kill me dude, I don't even have the energy to save myself anymore."
–Superseriouslyguys
"Interned at an environmental nonprofit over the summer while I was in law school."
"It was the worst parts of legal work and the worst parts of nonprofit work all mashed together."
"Edit: Ok this is getting a lot more eyeballs than I expected so I feel the need to clarify that it actually was not as bad as other non-legal nonprofits I'd later work at in terms of toxicity but it was intensely difficult work with very long hours and a lot of pressure - all of which made me realize I prob wasn't cut out for law much less environmental law."
– krylonultraflat
My Name Is Not Sharon
"I remember a girl in law school who had a similar experience, like they just had her getting coffee and cleaning out the office fridge all summer. Then at the end of the internship one of the directors of the program was like 'oh Sharon, you were our best intern this summer!' Susan. Her name was Susan."
– Superseriouslyguys
The Alternative
"Fellow lawyer here."
"Dip out and get yourself a cushy government job, easy 9-5 work hours, never take work home, plus you get a pension after it's all said and done."
"And then start living life outside of work. Focus on yourself."
– Pitiful-Reaction9534
Life is about taking chances.
You never know what you're capable of until you try different experiences.
And even if you don't succeed or found that whatever it is you tried wasn't for you, it's all a learning experience about how you deal in stressful or unfamiliar situations and overcome them.
The key is in finding your strengths, which you'll never find unless you put yourself out there and do the work. If it's not for you, something else will present itself.
At least that's what I'd like to think.
Everyone has a memory from their school days that always makes them laugh when it crosses their minds.
Be it someone passing gas at a very inopportune moment, an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction during a school play or sporting event, or, perhaps most of all, a spectacular prank.
Of course, while every single member of the student body likely finds these incidents and occurrences hilarious, the faculty and staff often find little to nothing funny about them.
Mainly because they often have to deal with the consequences and pandemonium caused by these dubiously hilarious events.
"What funny thing happened at school that caused utter chaos for the faculty?
Holy Sh*t
"2000"
"Teachers trying to stop kids smoking in the bathroom so they locked the bathroom doors."
"Kid took a sh*t on the carpet in front of the bathroom door, like right in the main hallway."
"Chaos ensued."
"Today, that kid is a pastor."
"Lol."- Jimmycapped
Cheaters Almost Always Get Caught
"It wasn't funny, but when I was in high school, there were two teachers in the school that were married."
"I was sitting in the husbands classroom waiting for the class to start when another kid ran in and said 'Hey Mr B, your wife is making out with Mr H in his classroom'."
"Turns out they'd locked the door, but about a dozen kids were looking through the skinny door window watching them."
"The guy didn't even say anything."
"He just looked crushed."
"He just walked out of the class and never came back...I mean we never saw him again."
"Turned out his wife and the other teacher had been having an affair and he'd might have suspected, but having it confirmed by one of his students in front of the whole class was too much."
"The school didn't discipline the two cheaters, but the students sure as hell did."
"Both of them had to listen to 'cheating' puns and jokes every day."
"'Hey Ms S, I'm going to copy off Joe's test, cheating is cool with you right?'" kind of stuff."
"Neither came back the next school year."- McFeely_Smackup
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyWhere He Went, Music Followed...
"Hired a mariachi band to follow around our principal for our senior class prank."
"It was hysterical."- JulieFromJerz
Complicated Role Model...
"In middle school, a staff (not a teacher, he watched lunch and was a basketball coach for a high school) got arrested for selling weed to the kids."
"He won an award for 'best staff of the year' that year which had an entire yearbook page dedicated to him, but he was arrested after the yearbooks were printed."
"They had to go into each yearbook and cover that page with purple duct tape (to match the color scheme)."
"Prior to him being arrested, I was getting bullied horribly."
"None of the teachers or other staff could get the kids to stop, but once the staff who was arrested said 'leave Spencer alone'," the kids would immediately stop."
"I later realized he was threatening to take their weed away if they bullied me, and that's why he was the only one who could get them to stop."- Spencer2091
Funny Might Not Be The Best Word...
"Someone had a baby in the bathroom stall."
"I wish I was making this up."- JacobCStowe
baby GIFGiphyLegs Are Legs!
"They banned shorts because they were not professional enough."
"So all the boys wore skirts as a protest."- Haboobalub·
Or Did They Just Have A Time-Turner In Their Pocket?
"One of the classrooms at my school was a prefab hut, and over time it developed a hole in the floor at the back of the room (developed, or was helped, unsure)."
"Every lesson I had in there for a good few months before they fixed it, someone would arrive, greet the teacher, and sit down."
"Then after a few minutes they'd arrive again, straight-faced 'sorry I'm late sir', and sit down."
"Then again a few minutes later they'd arrive again... etc."
"The fun part was watching the teacher playing the memory game of figuring out who'd arrived too many times."- telnorp
Depends On How Short We're Talking...
"Freshman year one of my friends wanted to me run for student body vice president as a part of his counterculture party."
"He insisted on having me be his VP, to the point where he got all the necessary signatures for me to run without my knowledge and just went ahead and signed me up."
"We had to write speeches to get other kids to vote for us, and those speeches had to be approved beforehand by some faculty member."
"So I wrote a very disparaging speech about the validity and purpose of student council, laden with curse words and personal attacks towards our administration, thinking it would get screened ahead of time and they would disqualify me."
"I guess no one actually read my speech and just rubber stamped it, so on that morning they pulled me aside and handed me a printed out copy of my speech."
homer simpson drinking GIFGiphy"I went ahead and gave my speech and I guess none of the faculty knew what to do because no one stopped me but they were clearly panicked and furious."
"I got a lot of laughs and applause."
"I assume it was too late to print all new ballots because when we went to vote my name was crossed out with a sharpie."
"I also got suspended for 5 days despite my explanation that I did not want to run and submitted my speech for approval, on time, fully intending to be disqualified."
"I was also told by some older student council members involved in the ballot counting process that I won by a landslide due to write ins and people just circling the black line of my name, but I have no idea if that's true."- pieonthedonkey
Ladders Must Have Been In Short Supply...
"A student got ahold of a LOT of explicit pictures and taped them to all of the school clocks, suspended from the ceiling. None of the teachers were tall enough to pull them down, so they were up there for a bit."- Unlikely_Use
A Hard One To Erase From Memory (...Pun Intended...)
"My wife is a school teacher, and a couple years ago the senior prank was them sticking a bunch of those suction cupsex toys to the windows."
"And let's just say that the school has a lot of windows."
"It was the brain child of some douche bag architect who thought building a high school with no walls just windows was good idea."
"Any way, they managed to get the largest of the them stuck to the 3rd floor outside window, of one of the classrooms."
"So the male assistant principal gets a ladder, but its not quite long enough so he's teetering on the top of this ladder trying knock a 2-foot long purple d*ck of the side of the school with a broom handle."
"She said he was beating that thing as it owed him money, and it was just bouncing around, flopping and banging against the window."
"While everyone watched through tears of laughter."- Nutesatchel
What The Hell Comedy GIF by Paramount+GiphyDid ANYONE Find This Funny?
"Someone in my high school sent letters to everyone they deemed 'virgins' parents saying their son or daughter was tested for and found to have an STD by the school nurse and that they needed to come to the school immediately."
"Used the school letterhead etc so they got charged with mail fraud lol."- B__Malz
When In Doubt, Follow Moses...
"In my HS, there was a solid week where somebody set a trash can on fire daily."
"Nobody knew if it was one person or a group of people, but I think after day five everyone got pretty tired of having to stand out in the football field while the fire department inspected the area.
"It stopped after that week with no explanation and no word from the culprit."
"Second best was definitely the senior prank performed by the class two years ahead of mine."
"They bought crickets from our local PetSmart and set them free on our school’s main staircase."
"It took forever to get rid of them and I can remember sitting in class and hearing faint chirping coming from seemingly every direction."- Livingroxets
"A boy in my class brought some locusts in to show and tell."
"They escaped and got into the air vents."
"This was just before summer break."
"School came back to a full-on plague."- Big_Explanation_8803
Bugs Insects GIF by The GuardianGiphyNeedless to say, one has little doubt that any of the planned occurrences in these stories were ever meant to be found funny by the faculty or staff.
Even so, one also has little doubt that they've all looked back and laughed about some of these with the passage of time...
I embarrass myself in the search for love constantly.
Or in the need to try and impress.
I can't help it.
And I know I'm not alone.
Every time I come face to face with a crush or someone that intimidates me, all of my wit, wisdom, and self-respect flies out the window. Suddenly words are just sounds that make no sense. I also laugh at the most inappropriate moments.
Trying to impress someone should be easy.
Well, maybe not easy, it can be a challenge but it shouldn't land anyone in the ER.
When did trying to gain someone's attention become a sporting event?
Thank God for Xanax.
I have found a little calm goes a long way.
A deleted Redditor wanted everyone to share about the times we've been left red in the face, so they asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever said to someone you were trying to impress?"
I once fell off of a treadmill trying to flirt with my high school crush.
I was running way too fast to show my "stamina."
I destroyed my Discman and my dignity.
Oh My
Licking Ice Cream GIF by MLB NetworkGiphy"Crush in High School worked at an ice cream store. When she asked for toppings I said 'I’ll have Reese’s penises please.' The store laughed."
WhaleyWino235
Tom Morello's Hometown
"I worked at the local guitar shop in town in high school. It happens to be Tom Morello's hometown (of rage against the machine fame). The owner used to babysit him when Tom was little and he'd always stop by to say hi when they were in town on tour. This was around the time of the evil empire and they were at peak popularity."
"He came in one day while I was there and asked if John was in. 16-year-old me just looked at him and asked 'Do you know who you are?!?!' He just laughed and said yes. Humiliated I went and got the owner and then tried to hide and die from shame."
matthewmichael
Echoes
"I was around 15, going through the receiving line at my cousin's wedding. This was my first 'grown-up' wedding and I wanted to act it. As I hugged my cousin I blurted out 'I'm so excited to be here! The last wedding I was at was your first one!'"
"That has echoed in my head for 30 years."
"E: This was my cousin's second wedding. The groom's first."
LGBecca
No Tip
"A server trying to get a tip: I went to clear a shared dessert dish from a table of 4 - mom, dad, and 2 sons. One son jokingly pointed at his mom and said 'She ate most of it.' I, the braindead server who was/is terrible at banter, but trying to get a tip said the first reply that came to mind: 'I can tell.' No idea why. Terrible reaction, as expected. No tip."
1nd1anaCroft
Snap
Buffering Back To School GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy"I can do a Kickflip, then proceed to elegantly snap my ankle."
Mrlightyboy
Why do we risk our lives?
Have we really lost the ability for a simple flirt?
Where?
The Beautiful Game Thumbs Up GIF by World CupGiphy"I did once (truthfully) tell a girl from Austria that I didn't know what the capital of Austria was - which wouldn't be too embarrassing, except that I was wearing a t-shirt which said 'Vienna Rocks' on it at the time. She thought I was joking."
Ok-Fudge8848
The Red Lights
"I told everyone I knew about my plan to go on a trip to Europe. I had planned to tour different countries by train with a special visit to… Amsterdam. My intention was to visit a marijuana cafe, but in my ignorance, I thought that these were all located in the red lights district. I would tell people I was going to the red light district and they would understandably pause and ask me… why?"
"Trying to be sly I would say something like 'to do what the locals do of course,' believing that this meant smoking marijuana in a cafe… I was actually telling everyone I knew, friends, teachers, relatives, coworkers, that I was going to cross the Atlantic so I could hire a sex worker."
Virtual-Elderberry31
How Far You'll Go
"Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling."
"Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, 'I just wanted to see how far you'd go.' Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed."
Ladon1949
Not Cool
"I was skating at a school and my girlfriend calls me and says she wants to hang out. Tell her I'm skating but she can meet me at the school and we can figure out what we're doing from there. She shows up looking cute AF, so clearly I need to impress her. There was a little two stair where she was waiting for me and I went to do a BS 180 down it. Instead of just landing normally, I thought I would look more bada** if I stomped the landing."
"As I landed my lead foot came off the board and I landed with all of my weight on that ankle... Immediate excruciating pain ensued and I'm on the ground rolling in pain. My sad attempt to look cool skating had turned into one of the worst injuries I received and an extremely embarrassing moment. The pain was so bad I could barely drive my car back home because I severely injured my right ankle."
"Didn't break my ankle but I did have a severe ankle sprain. I've had surgery on it and it's much better, but it just has never been quite the same. As far as the girlfriend goes, we're still together and have been married for 10 years."
DJAXL
Listen Again
Go Away Beyonce GIFGiphy"I told a musician I like that I liked a specific song. It was not his song."
Naca-7
We are so silly.
Why can't we just say 'Hey' and get on with it?
Such drama.
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.