Revenge Seekers Begrudgingly Admit The Times They Went Too Far To Get Even[rebelmouse-image 18357510 is_animated_gif=
"While seeking revenge, dig two graves---one for yourself." ~ Douglas Horton
The urge to seek revenge is hard to resist, but sometimes the payback exceeds the original offense and leaves the seeker of revenge filled with remorse. Or at least a little bit of regret.
Reddit user OvertOperation asked "What revenge of yours hit the victim way worse than you thought it would, to the point you said 'maybe I shouldn't have done that'?"
Here are some stories of revenge gone wrong.
Minty Fresh[rebelmouse-image 18359418 is_animated_gif=
Way back in elementary school a friend threw a piece of chalk that hit me square in the forehead. It was the most humiliating moment for younger me as everyone who saw that started laughing their arses off.
I plotted and planned my revenge, to get back in the exact same fashion over the next couple of days. One fine day weapon in hand, I find him perfectly placed a chalk-throw away from me.
I yell out his name and quickly launch the projectile as he spins around. For some reason he had his mouth open as he looked at me and the piece of chalk flew directly into his throat. His eyes widen and he starts choking. I stood frozen in shock as he fell on his knees coughing. Luckily somebody grabbed him from behind and thumped his back, so he swallowed the piece. An adult walks in, cannot remember who it was at the time, but she looks at me and asks what happened. At this point I'm shaking realizing that I narrowly killed my friend. I say it was a mint. My friend, also shaken at this point, laughs it off saying it went straight into his throat and he didn't taste it. The adult shakes her head and says next time just hand it like a normal person and walks away.
Years later when we were moving away to another country I remind him about the incident and come clean about the whole thing. He snaps and yells "I knew it!"
Sleeper Hold[rebelmouse-image 18359419 is_animated_gif=
This kid in my class at school kept insulting my mother, so I said to him that if he insults her one more time that I'll get him after class. "Your mum's a sl#$!" he replied. So after class I waited for him outside and when he came out the classroom I got him in a head lock.
He forced his way up out of it, but he managed to crack the top of his head off a fire alarm, gashed his head open... he was bleeding all down his face and had to go to hospital. He was off school for two weeks after that too. I felt terrible about it.
Throw Her Into the Pit[rebelmouse-image 18359420 is_animated_gif=
When I was about 7 or 8 there was this girl at my school that was absolutely horrible, we'll call her Cindy. Cindy would run up to you and pull your hair out, steal the toy you were playing with, eat your snack at snack time, etc. In other words, she was a real witch.
One day as we were finishing up recess in the playground, she came up to me, pulled my hair, and took some with it. That was the last straw. As the teacher was gathering everyone inside and wasn't looking our way, I grabbed Cindy by her pigtail and dragged her over to the playground. Now this playground was built weird with a sort of enclosed area in the middle of 3 bridges that formed a triangle that you couldn't get out of. Sometimes us bigger kids would jump in there during hide and seek and climb out later. But Cindy couldn't because she was shorter. So I picked her up and threw her down in there and left to go back inside. It wasn't until about an hour later when the teacher realized that Cindy wasn't in class. I didn't say where she was and it took them another half hour to find her. I got in trouble and had to spend the next week in the principals office.
And I lost my Gameboy for a month. I did regret it immediately since I was on my first play through of Pokemon Red when I had my Gameboy taken away from me. I was devastated and it was one of the longest months of my childhood. But Cindy never messed with me again.
Unnecessary Roughness[rebelmouse-image 18359421 is_animated_gif=
Two days ago, actually, in my soccer game this one clumsy defender kept catching my ankles seconds after I would pass the ball away. So one play he was clearing the ball and I just wanted to lay the kid out. As he was on his plant foot swinging I hit him with my shoulder hard and as he was falling he grabbed me and took me down with him. I landed on his arm and it snapped like a twig between the wrist and the elbow. I feel awful.
Collateral Damage[rebelmouse-image 18359422 is_animated_gif=
When I was bullied by some local kids I filled the gas tank of their family car with grass, dirt, sticks and stones, bottle caps, pretty much anything I could jam into the tank.
I felt sorry for that poor car.
Branded[rebelmouse-image 18359424 is_animated_gif=
I was 11, my older brother was 16. We would fight and argue but one time I was running up the stairs away from him and he whipped the back of my legs with a long rubber chew toy. It left a pretty big, figure-8-shaped welt on my legs. I knew he was faster and stronger than me and I knew if I tried to attack him he'd stop me. So, I grabbed a flathead screwdriver and held it over the stove until it was red hot. I ran up to him and very openly went to stab him, knowing he'd stop me. He grabbed my wrist to stop my thrust (as anticipated) and I accidentaly pushed the red hot head of it into his forearm as hard as I could.
Big Bro[rebelmouse-image 18359425 is_animated_gif=
Had a neighbor yell at my younger brother about his weight and I took it extra personal. Didn't know how to get him back without getting caught. Then I figured out I could place nails just under the back of the tire so when he pulled out of the driveway he'd run over them.
Turns out he was super poor and couldn't afford the repairs. My dad had to carpool with him to work for a month or so.
I've never told anyone.
Yo Mama[rebelmouse-image 18359426 is_animated_gif=
I think I was 15 and was in class and sat next to a friend of mine. He, for no reason, began to say: "HAHA your bald father" which I followed up with "HAHA your bald mother". He started crying and ran to the teacher. I honestly forgot his mom had cancer and was getting chemo.
Swimming Hole[rebelmouse-image 18359427 is_animated_gif=
When I was a kid I was at a local river (a great swimming spot lots of people came to). My friend pushes me in the river and naturally I came up spluttering and a little red in the face, but it was all in good fun. For the rest of the day I planned to get her back, waiting for my opportunity to push her in, until she was at the edge of the river drying off. I pushed her, but her flailing and the slippery nature of the rocks she was on made her slip on the spot, and instead of just splashing into the water, she landed on her back hitting the rocks hard, and then fell into the water.
She was winded, but thankfully otherwise unharmed. Our parents were furious at me, and I just spent the few seconds it took to get her out (felt like a lot longer to me) just hoping I hadn't broken her back or something.
Mr. Pink[rebelmouse-image 18359428 is_animated_gif=
A room mate poured water on me while I was asleep. So I filled all his shoes and the pockets of all his trousers with Chili Powder. I didn't realize the powder had dye in and it stained everything, including any shirts he had tucked into work trousers and a lot of items he washed with them.
Trip Up[rebelmouse-image 18359429 is_animated_gif=
A lot of the boys in my sixth grade class thought it was hilarious to try and trip people. They'd get you no matter how careful you were. Well I was pretty good at avoiding it, but when I was in gym class this kid named Joey got me hard. I was dribbling down court and he nailed me. I face planted hard. So I thought about how to get him, and I got him at lunch. He was holding a lunch tray, so his hands weren't as useful. He nailed a table and lost a tooth. I got suspended for 10 days, and a strict no tripping policy got implemented, immediate suspensions if caught.
Slip Up[rebelmouse-image 18359430 is_animated_gif=
When we were kids, my sister threw water at me and ran away so I picked up my glass of water and ran after her. I threw the water from the glass at her once I had her cornered. Unfortunately the glass had slipped out of my hand and it hit her right across her face.
Deep Doo[rebelmouse-image 18359432 is_animated_gif=
Back in middle school a friend of mine threw a small wadded piece of paper at me. I retaliated by throwing the only thing I could find, which was mud close to my shoes. Smacked him right in the face with it.
It turned out to be dog poo. I still vividly remember his angry "wtf man I throw paper at you and you throw dog poo?"
Overwrite[rebelmouse-image 18359433 is_animated_gif=
My older brother was always quite horrible to me as a child and my parents never really did much about it, he was also much bigger than me so I couldn't retaliate in a physical way cause I would be swiftly cripple cross faced/walls of Jericho'd. One day I had just had enough, My revenge? He had been playing Rome Total War for a good 6 hours a day for about 3 weeks. I started a new game and overwrote his save file.
Never seen fury like it.
I regretted it at the time cause he was so angry it scared me and it made him dislike me even more. But now I praise my 13 year old self for hitting him where it clearly hurt most.
Kids Can Be Cruel[rebelmouse-image 18359434 is_animated_gif=
When I was little my friends kept pointing at the little girl on the box of the board game Operation and saying it looks like me. So I pointed at the big fat guy and said 'that's your mom' and didn't realize she was behind me
Casualties of War[rebelmouse-image 18359435 is_animated_gif=
Coworker and I had a friendly prank war spanning two years. Close to the end of our war he "iced" my car.
Icing involves taking the hose to the parking lot every half hour and spraying a light mist over your victims car when it's below zero out. I finished my 12 hour shift to find a car encased in 2 inches of ice.
My revenge was, I thought, both more inconvenient for him and less freezing my backside off for me. I decided to take a bed sheet, drape it over his car, and only took 4 or 5 trips out with the hose the next night.
So the next morning he finds his car with a quarter inch of ice freezing a sheet to his car. When he started peeling off the sheet he pulled his windshield wipers, arms and all off of his ratty jeep.
I got a very pissed off phone call. I felt bad, the unwritten rule was "embarrassing or inconvenient, no damage". I paid for repairs, and he got his revenge. He planted a dozen pieces of smoked herring throughout my car. Took me 6 months to find the last piece. Hidden under the carpet under the back window of my car. I can still smell it, I don't even own the car anymore....
Dog Days[rebelmouse-image 18359436 is_animated_gif=
I grew up in a semi-rural area, and the neighbors used to let their dog roam free. The dog constantly pooped on our lawn (even the back lawn). My parents would kindly ask the neighbors to please keep the dog locked up, but then grumble about it to each other at home. My sister and I (8 and 11 at the time) though we would be super helpful, and get a little revenge too, so we got a shovel and flung all of it we could find at their house. And that was a lot!
Yeah, it really was a little too far, and the neighbors did not take it well. And seeing as we lived in a fairly small community, everyone found out about it too.
Steel Belted[rebelmouse-image 18359437 is_animated_gif=
Had a roommate who basically let his new girlfriend move in to our house in college. She helped herself to everything in the house but never contributed. Finally she parked in my parking spot and that was my breaking point. I let all the air out of all of her tires, thinking she'd just air them back up and it would be an inconvenience. Instead she ended up buying all new tires. Whoops. Never came clean about it.
They say you can never have enough of a good thing, but we all know there's plenty of stuff that you'd like to just go, "Oh, no thank you" about and that would be that.
Unfortunately, that pretty much never actually works.
Try telling the electric company "no thanks" when the way too high bill comes, or just putting up a hand to decline work for the next week or so because you're just kind of over it.
Consequences and repercussions, folks. But you've got to admit some stuff would just be better if it was... less.
Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At WorkExcited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Average work hours"
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
"My nose hair."
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
Lines For FunEpisode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Lines at any amusement park."
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
"You took the words right out my mouth"
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
RestTired Baby GIFGiphy
"The amount of time you need to sleep"
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
"Supreme court appointments."
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
NFLCollege Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
Life is a mystery full of mysteries.
Some we'll finally get, some will stay a conundrum forever.
Sometimes no matter how much we study or agonize over a piece of information, it just doesn't click.
But that's okay, we're all here to commiserate.
RedditorDangerous_Mobile9188 wanted to discuss what aspects of life still leave confusion.
"What do you genuinely not understand?"
Life is full of quandaries that I give up on trying to figure out.
Everywhere?Emoji Corona GIF by BallcomGiphy
"Why people can't use a public restroom without literally pooping all over the freaking toilet."
Around the grooves...
"How a single needle can run through the grooves on a record and produce a fully layered and 'separated' sound. I mean, I get how it works in theory. But like... how TF does it work?"
"I know how it works, and I understand how it works, and I was gleefully trying to convey this knowledge to a friend when I realized that I am not able to explain how it works, which essentially means that I don’t actually get how it works."
"The thought process of a cat trying to jump on a shelf that is clearly filled with stuff and doesn't have space for it to land safely."
"The opposite, actually... how on earth does my cat jump on a shelf filled with stuff and somehow always land elegantly with all four paws between all the stuff without dropping a single thing? It surprises me every time."
"50% of cats have a 6th sense to avoid everything and 50% of cats are clumsy as hell. 100% of cats think they have the skill though."
"How consciousness works."
"I'm shocked no one has replied to this. Because yea. I haven't the slightest clue and i honestly don't think scientists know exactly how either. Such a complex system that turns into our thoughts and feelings, this is one of those things that REALLY made me appreciate the intricacies of our bodies."
10/10So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Every time my grandmother sees me, I seem to grow taller and more attractive."
I love grandmas. They understand everything.
S.O.SRole Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"How people can raise a functioning family at the age of 18 or 19? I can't even hold my own life together."
"Squatter rights! They confuse the hell outta me."
"Right! So you’re telling me, I can get evicted/foreclosed for missing some payments… but you can’t get rid of squatters who declare a house theirs ? I should just become a squatter then haha."
"Squatting is basically the same. It's not that they just get to live there, but the landlord has to use the proper legal mechanism (eviction) to get rid of them. And sometimes, that can take quite some time."
"How crypto mining works... like what exactly are these huge setups doing and why do GPUs matter so much? I've read several articles about it and I still don't get it."
"This is an oversimplification, but they're trying to solve a math problem. If they get the answer, they get rewarded with crypto. But the math problem is very very hard. There's no 'steps' to find the answer, it's just guess and check."
"So you need to make as many guesses as possible to see if one of your guesses is right. And it just so happens that GPUs are very good at making these guesses. So if 1 GPU can make let's say 22,000 guesses every second, then two GPUs can make 44,000 guesses every second. 10 GPUs can make 220,000 guesses every second, and so on."
"The wave-particle duality."
"This is the one man. For me this is the biggest mystery. Look, I don't care how the universe came to be. I mean I do, but this is much crazier to me. HOW DOES REALITY REACT DIFFERENTLY BASED ON OBSERVATION ALONE I sear this haunts me at night. Do i even exist man."
"Long story short, observing something at the quantum level is not as benign as observing, say, a runner on a racetrack. In observing something so small, the mere act of doing so affects the behavior/outcome. Imagine having to knock the aforementioned runner over in order to know where they are on the track. That's more or less how it was explained to me."
MagicRoss Mcelwee Photography GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
"Cameras, I’ve been explained and seen explanations 100 times. It’s still magic to me."
Maybe there are just somethings we're not meant to understand.
We all want to attain it.
Some people dedicate their lives to having it.
But who can say what is and is not attractive?
The older you get, the more serious and realistic you get with the topic.
And grapple with whether it really matters.
RedditorBig-Courage-7297 wanted to know what some people really thought when they looked into a mirror.
"How hot do you think you are? Why?"
Depending on the minute and the era, I fluctuate in my response. Oh, and depending on my sodium intake.
Middle of the way...Mackenzie Ziegler Makeup GIF by Brat TVGiphy
"5, am not ugly nor a beauty."
"'Perfectly balanced, as all things should be' JK... you probably look great."
"I give myself a solid 'alright for an old guy' out of 10."
"Comparing myself to when I was young I feel like a 2. However if I look around at other guys my age, I'm doing pretty great. Simply still having a full head of hair puts me in the top 15%."
"Occupying the latter half of the age bracket here too. And while I’ve never considered myself wildly attractive, one of my wife’s work friends once remarked to her, 'you didn’t tell me your husband was a silver fox!' I keep that one in my back pocket for gloomy days."
"My mom said I'm a 10/10."
"His mom also said I’m a 10/10. Im starting to think she says that about everyone who’s been inside her."
"Don't listen to these jealous haters you be that 10/10 and strut your stuff."
"Learning to love yourself, doesn't mean you don't see your own flaws but know where to improve and where and how you want to grow. Appreciate the goodness within even when it's hard, and work to have your ideal to be reflected on the outside too. Loving and forgiving yourself is the greatest peace you'll know, because everyone else might be gone at the end and you'll be left with you and your memories, make good ones. Spread positivity. 💕"
Changes with time...
"I think most people's scores fluctuate with age. I like to think I was a solid 8/10 in my early 20s. Then my metabolism crashed and I was working a desk job. I got real fat, got lazy, less effort, dropped to a 4/10. Got my s**t back together, lost the weight, started putting in the effort again, back up to an 8 if not higher in my 30s."
"Then I had a traumatic event in my life and I slipped into a dark place for many years. I put on weight again, stopped putting in the effort, general depression stuff, 5/10. Now I'm in my 40s, working on keeping my weight down, putting in some effort, solid 6/10..."
"But no matter what has happened, how low or high I've been... my wife has always considered me a 10. She's the best woman I've ever met and will always be a 10 to me too."
Oof...Freaks And Geeks Photo GIFGiphy
"6 or 7 on a good day? 1 when I try to take a picture of myself."
God I hated picture day. Still do.
FreshBad Hair GIF by TV LandGiphy
"Solid 5. 6 on a good day with a fresh haircut."
"I have days where I think 'God da*n, look at me. I’m God’s gift,' and then other days where I think 'how does every mirror not break?'"
"Actually though. Part of it is I used to be super athletic but due to an injury now can’t, but go**amn, I could look quite literally like a sculpture of a Greek god or hero, but also a balding baby-faced creep. Also occasionally homeless. More often the two latter than the former"
"I think I was a 6 growing up. But now that I've matured into my late 30s I'm a solid 7."
"This is me except as a kid I’d give myself a 3. Long-haired greaseball in my teens but now in my 30s, exercising for the past decade has really helped me out. Solid 7/10."
"Man, I went from 4 to 8 to 5 in the span of 20 years. Metabolism is a *itch."
"I just remind myself that the me that looks bad in in some pictures/at some angles is the same me that looks good in other pictures/other angles, just a different version. There are some angles and types of lighting and mirrors that for whatever reason, will make just about anybody look bad. There is no such thing as someone who looks good when the phone camera opens itself and shows a view of you from under your chin."
Boy Magnetichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy
"I was objectively pretty hot when I was younger. Now I am an older hot, which is weird. Younger guys really dig me but I’m like, you weren’t even born when the Challenger blew up and I was at Uni."
We're all beautiful. Just keep saying that. Maybe it'll stick.
Humans rarely agree on anything anymore.
So it's refreshing when an agreement is reached among peers.
Even if it's usually about simple or dumb stuff.
RedditorBertarioni85wanted all the gents to sit and discuss some of their universal agreements.
"What is something that all men could agree on?"
PerfectRobert Redford Nod GIFGiphy
"The nod really is great and so versatile. It's like a 'What's up man... everything cool' Ya me too. 'Wulp see ya later.' Just perfect."
"If there can be an empty urinal between us, make it so."
"There are men out there that break this rule! I was the only one, and at the far right end of a row of 4 or 5 urinals. Man walks in and pulls up right beside me, unzips, and let’s her flow, all while audibly exhaling in relief.
When you gotta go!
"That we are happy we get the short bathroom line."
To add to this, I still marvel in amazement and am grateful when I walk into a bathroom at a stadium or sporting event and it's just an endless column of empty urinals. Then you see the ladies bathroom line wrapping around two different corners. There's so much room for activities in the men's bathroom."
"Lady Professor in college (2008) said I’d make an incredible husband to my wife someday. Girl at the drive thru line said I had a cool car in September of 2015. Lady gas station attendant complimented my outfit that day and said I had a good vibe (2018). Cashier said I was handsome while ringing me up a couple weeks ago. Point is we never forget when we get complimented out of the blue."
PowerHappy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy
"Click the tongs a couple times to make sure they work first."
"Makes me feel like a crab… a very powerful crab."
Wow. Guys are so easy. Like super easy...
Twicetalking episode 15 GIFGiphy
"Whenever we pick up a drill we have to do the bzzt... bzzt twice. No more, no less."
Sticks and Stones
"I picked it up because it’s like, a really good stick."
"I wonder if that's instinctive. I've read before that human anatomy is almost perfectly engineered for throwing and thrusting spears. Maybe men have evolved to be able to identify really good sticks and even now we're drawn to them as a vestigial trait because instead of relying on claws or teeth, our ancestors needed good spears."
On the X
"Put two men on the phone, and we’ll be done talking in two minutes. Put two men on Xbox live, and oh is it 2:00am? I should probably go to bed… after this game."
"This is so true. A few weeks back a good friend called me at 10 at night because he’s been having a tough time with fighting depression and all that. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, cheered him up a bit and offered to keep the chat going on xbox live. Turned into an hour and half of a good time talking and playing COD."
Gotta have it.
"It's better to have and not need than to need and not have."
"It's so bloody annoying not having the right tool for the job when you need it. I so long for the day when I will have a fully equipped garage with every tool I would ever need, to fix everything that needs fixing."
"My sister's car has cutlery, both steel and disposable. Have sewing kit, a flask, a bento box, and a complete stationery set. But, they don't even have a freaking umbrella and jumper in the car. Like, wtf. And mind you, we live in a tropical country where you should always assume every day is a rainy day."
Nothing!Ellen Page Sony GIF by FlatlinersGiphy
"Sometimes... I really am thinking about nothing. Literally... Flatline, nobody home, crickets in the field."
Ah men. What a quirky part of the species.