Tinder, the popular social dating app that simplifies the massively complex world of human interaction to swiping left/right, can lead to successful relationships. It appears more commonly, now, that many couples got their start on Tinder. However, the trope of the "Tinder Horror Story" exists for a reason. Meeting people who aren't what you thought or who harass your inbox are a very real thing.
Reddit user, u/me_llamo_greg, wanted to know about the worst ones you had when they asked:
What is your Tinder horror story?
Jumping A Few Hurdles At OnceGiphy
Went on a date with a girl who had already told her whole family about me, before we even met. And she wanted me to meet them in person on the first date.
Rotten Seeds Lead To Rotten PlantsGiphy
This was back when tinder first came out and wasn't quite as known as a hookup app. We met and had a great first date. Second date was even better. Things kept going for about 2 months when she told me she went out with me originally in an attempt for a Dinner with Schmucks type thing where her and all her friends would bring the worst Tinder date. We both really liked each other, but I couldn't get over how we started.
A Living NightmareGiphy
My roommate loves it, and she's brought back numerous visitors. Which is fine, except for the fact that the apartment is tiny and we share a room. And also the fact that my roommate doesn't really care what I end up seeing. And, as it turns out, most guys don't care about having another girl in the room either--some take it as an opportunity for a for a threesome.
My roommate is my tinder nightmare.
"Wait...who are you?"Giphy
This happened a couple of years back. Just recently moved to Perth Australia from the UK. New friend pointed me towards Tinder for meeting girls. Started speaking to this girl, Short, White, Red head who was a geek, like me. Hitting it off really well, after about 2 weeks of talking she was comfortable enough with me that she wanted to meet. We arrange to meet at a Bar in Perth City. I arrive first, find a table and text her to see if she would like a drink. I purchase the drinks and wait, she is running late.
15 mins later an middle age Asian lady sits down at the table and introduces herself as the girl I have been talking to. Puzzled by this turn of events, I show her the picture of the girl I thought I was talking to. She looks at the picture, then at me and goes yes that's me and starts talking about how nice it is to finally met. Being British, I don't like to make a fuss, I nod and smile.
I talk awkwardly for a couple of minutes while trying to find the ring tone select on my phone. I press it and pretend to call from a friend in need of help. Say my apologies and run to the train.
Later that night I thought, It may have been a joke or a test. We never spoke again.
Green Light Of DoomGiphy
I was recently on holiday and decided I would jump on Tinder to suss out the local talent. I matched with this guy who seemed pretty attractive and we talked for a few days and discussed catching up for drinks which never eventuated. Towards the end of my trip I chatted to him briefly and he explained he was going away the following day but I was more than welcome to come over to his apartment.
Despite having apprehensions about going to a complete strangers apartment in a foreign country, I decided to go. Nevertheless everything seemed smooth when I arrived at his house. He was charming, good looking and talkative. We got talking and one thing lead to another and before I knew it we were making out on his lounge.
Things escalated rather quickly and got hot and heavy and I decided that this was okay as I was on holiday and would never have to see this guy again. Whilst things were in the heat of the moment I looked at his laptop which was located 3 metres from where the activities were taking place and realised the green light for video recording was on.
To say the least things came to a sudden end and the police were nearly involved. I've decided to take a sabbatical from Tinder for the meantime.
This Is My...Sister?
So I exchange hilarious texts with a Tinder match for a few weeks before we have a chance to get together...We meet at a pub, and after a few minutes the waitress walks up and enthusiastically greets the guy. They exchange pleasantries, then she turns to me and with a look of horror on her face, exclaims: "You're not 'Jane'!!" and turns back to him to ask "Where's Jane? What's going on?". To which he replies "We're not together anymore", and the waitress proceeds to launch into a long series of "omigosh that's so sad...you guys were so good together...I really thought you guys were happy...what happened?"...
He lets her carry on indefinitely and when she's finished, he introduces me as his sister. I think that was supposed to be a joke, but felt like it could have been a sort of cover up, too...not sure...
So she finally takes our order and leaves us to chat. Sadly, there were no more 'jokes' being cracked and the conversation was really heavy, like he thinks the world is past the point of repair and we should all just "etch and sketch" shake it clean and peace out...
On my way home, I thought I should at least give him one more date because I'm trying to be a bit more mature about these things and people get nervous on first dates, etc...He texts that night and the next morning to tell me he had a great time...Then suddenly it's radio silence and I don't hear from him for a few days, and then he's back cracking funny jokes and then out again...Finally get a text saying 'I didn't feel a connection...you're a bright soul...wish you my best...'
Sooo relieved I didn't have to follow through on my mature thought to give him another chance:)...my spidey senses say he's back together with 'Jane' and that I was used as some kind of jealousy-making bait...
My buddy isn't the smartest man. He picked a chick up and drove to a motel. They were walking into the room and she says, "I forgot my purse in the car do you mind if I go grab it?" He says, "yeah that's fine," and tosses her the keys. 5 minutes later he walks outside wondering where she is and his car is gone.
A Date With The Police
I went on a tinder date with a guy who took me to his favorite smoke spot by a lake.
So we smoke I'm a little sketched out but he promises that he smokes here all the time and never sees any cops. Sure enough, a few minutes later a cop car comes driving by, the officer smells it, and long story short we both get arrested.
I never spoke to him again
When The Science Is OffGiphy
I went on a date with a guy and the entire time he was talking about how men are superior and how there have been scientific studies to show that "women have an emotional reaction to the color red when they see it". I wonder why he was single.
Had a great first date, she was fun and easy to talk to and she said she had a really great time and wanted to see me again.
A few days later she sends me a snapchat video of her making out with another guy while flipping her middle finger to the camera.
No idea why, no explanation.
When The Problem Isn't The PersonGiphy
I dated someone I met from tinder for a month. Seemed good on paper: masters student, yoga teacher, cultured, etc.
Found out she was doing heroin and didn't consider that a big problem. I actually had to explain to her the definition of a high functioning addict because she felt that having a job and going to school meant the heroin thing wasn't a problem. We broke up and she went back to her junky ex-bf.
At Least They Were Honest With UsGiphy
Dinner date in Fort McMurray:
She told me "knives are sexy" which I was kinda ok with.
Nope'd out when she got black out drunk over dinner and told me to murder her and bury her in the forest.
Edit: Ok, we dated for 2 years. But then I nope'd out.
Mixing Business And Pleasure
Mine is a little late, and not too scandalous, but I had a guy facilitate a drug deal on a Tinder date. We were at a bar, he excused himself outside (for a cigarette, I thought...), was gone for a while, so, I went out and there he was, chatting with some random dude about drugs. Went on for about two hours before actual contact info and drugs were exchanged. Really awkward and nightmarish.
An Unnecessary Deep DiveGiphy
There was this guy, he was a solid 10 in his pictures. He messages me, asks me if I want to meet up for coffee, so I say yes. He messages me and tells me that I have to pick him up... Okay whatever, I'll do it. I pick him up, and we decided to go eat instead, he's super funny and cute so we hangout some more after dinner. Then he pulls out his phone and proceeds to tell me that he has a son and his baby momma took of to Washington (but has no idea what part or anything) with him and he hasn't seen him in months. So he then takes out his phone and tells me to go through a folder on his phone of pictures of his son.
Like 300 of them.
He sat there and made me look through every single one, and he would tell me the back story to basically every single video and photo in that folder. I felt so bad, but man I was happy when he left. That whole date just got so weird after that, he did some more stuff but those are good stories for another time lol
Don't Let Anything...Linger...
I am a girl so I was always afraid to meet up with people on Tinder because I was worried of my safety. But I finally had the guts to meet the guy who I had been talking to. We will call him *Tyler. So before I met Tyler we talked on the phone and FaceTime just so I knew he wasn't some axe murderer. I met him right before Christmas break so he came to my campus and we got a bite to eat.
When he came everything was good I gave him a tour of my sorority house. Then we went to the place on campus to eat. After that we went back to the house and watched Band of Brothers in the living room. We ended up cuddling and watching the TV series. As we were watching B.O.B. this weird smell popped up and in my head I was like "what is that smell? Maybe he smokes." So I shook it off and tried to not let the smell bother me and then it got worse and I realized it was him. I was like how in the world are you going to meet a girl and not shower.
Right before he left we did share a kiss it was kind of awkward because he picked me up and put my back against the front door of the house. In my head I was like "dude we don't have to make out on the front porch WTF" I pulled away we said our goodbyes and he said he wants to see me again, I said "okay" then he left.
After that I kind of stopped talking to him because I was really turned off that he didn't smell good and had poor hygiene. After he left I showered for the longest time. Even I made sure I showered and smelt good before we met up. So if you ever decide to meet up with someone make sure you shower and take care of your hygiene. No one wants to cuddle or be with someone who smells. And I love a guy who smell amazing... its a turn on.
That Must Have Been A Great PretzelGiphy
I invited a guy to my favorite place, the zoo. It was going well but shortly after arriving, he ate a pretzel and almost bit his tongue off.
He began bleeding for the next couple of hours (YES HOURS) and spitting out blood. I looked at it and half of his tongue was swollen and puffy. It looked horrible. He then "tried" to eat a hamburger and his eyes just displayed the pain. He tried to kiss me multiple times but my ninja a-- dodged the mess he had going on. Great sport.. But it didn't work out
"Dating is too confusing. I'm all done."Giphy
Showed up to the restaurant, waited about 30 minutes. Ordered myself some food and was about to leave when he texted me: "there's a liquor store across the street from the restaurant, can you pick me up 2 six packs?"
I told him I wouldn't. He says he's decided to play frisbee with his dog instead. Deleted app, went to liquor store, picked up wine and went home.
He texted me for a month or so after to tell me he's just bought tickets to see me dance (I'm a retired ballerina, haven't been in anything for a few years). Then he texts me an hour after and tells me how great I was on stage. I never responded.
Dating is too confusing. I'm all done.
A Night In The HospitalGiphy
My tinder story involves 3days in hospital u/ketsiamalela10h. So i moved to Maryland about 5 months ago. Im originally from South Africa. I'm on a cultural exchange program. Moving here and not knowing anyone isn't fun. I joined tinder in hopes of meeting people (guys) being shown around and all that Jazz. I mean i had nothing to lose right?! Anyways so I went on a whole bunch of dates. Some were good, some okay and some not so fun.
So one Saturday night i had plans but some guy on tinder sent me a message asking if I wanted to hangout. I declined but said I'd like to hangout the following week Friday. That following week Friday I forgot to text him. That Saturday night with nothing planned he came to mind. (Lets call him Dave) so I texted Dave on tinder and said "wanna hangout" he said "sure" we made plans and I drove to his place.
Parked outside his house in DC and from there we took a walk to a wine bar. He was awesome, it was comfortable, conversation was flowing. It was fun. My schedule on Tuesdays and Wednesdays pretty much had me free all day. So we made plans to meet up on either of those days because he was able to hang then. See he owned his own company which allowed him to work from home as long as he had his phone nearby. So the next Tuesday we met up, I drove to his place again. Only this time I couldn't park on the street because it was midday and I didn't have a permit.
He said I should park my car at the back of his place but that it would be tricky for me to and I should let him do it. So I did. Next day I showed up again. I drove up to the back, I called him while outside and waited for him to park my car again. He did. Later on we took my car and drove to go buy snacks because we decided we were gonna watch a movie. We come back from the store. I pull up to the parking spot, get out the car so he could take my seat and park the car. I then wait near the parking spot close to the fence and face the opposite direction of the car.
I heard a loud tire sound and all of a sudden this force (The car) backs up into me and pins me to the fence. I'm freaking out, I scream for him to stop. I'm now stuck with this car on me screaming "Somebody help me please" over and over. He comes out the car and says "I'm so sorry my shoe got stuck on the accelerator" He tries to lift the car to free me, with no success. Then he gets help from some guys that were close by. 3 guys lift the car off me while he accelerates to move it forward. I remember sayin something about the exhaust pipe burning.
Anyways the car is off me. He carries me and layed me down on the table outside. I'm freaking out, adrenalin levels are sky high. My elbow was busted open i had no clue. 911 gets called and from then on began a very painful hospital stay. I had to share this experience because I don't really have anyone to share it with.
But I'm happy to be Alive.
And Sometimes, The Terror Isn't What You ThinkGiphy
My Tinder nightmare began on Jan 8 2014 when I started texting with a beautiful woman who I knew was out of my league. I'm a 50'ish Caucasian guy, out of shape, overweight, but otherwise stable and normal. She was a 30 year old Black woman, college educated, stunningly beautiful and very elegant and slender. Nonetheless, after a few days of texting I invited her to join me for dinner at a very nice restaurant downtown.
To my dismay she actually accepted my invitation. I was waiting for her at the bar and when she walked in my jaw hit the floor. She was so beautiful I literally lost my breath for a moment. She was taller than me in her heels and was wearing a beautiful short dress with the most amazing legs I had ever seen. She greeted me with a bright smile and a gentle hug and we were escorted to our table. We had a very good date, the conversation flowed, and she seemed to have a good time as well. We decided to continue the date and went to a couple of bars for drinks. Finally she said it was time to go home and, since she had taken Uber earlier, I offered to give her a ride home and she quickly agreed.
All this time I thought that, even though the date was fun, and comfortable, I assumed it would possibly lead to a friendship at best considering the obvious differences. Well when we got to her place we talked for a few minutes more. I offered to walk her to her door but she declined. She then got out and walked around to my door. She leaned through the window and planted a very brief but sensual kiss on my lips. My heart stopped! She then leaned back and smiled. I was able to stammer out an invitation to go out again and she accepted without hesitation. I was on cloud nine! I knew that this remarkable woman would have a profound affect on my life, it seemed pre-destined.
Fast forward a couple of weeks, She and I had been seeing each other nearly every day and I was developing strong feelings already. But, something was wrong. I had a weird nagging sense that she was hiding something. Although she was being very affectionate , something just felt off. Then finally it happened. We were out at a bar together. It was a good time but she seemed distracted. As we were leaving she turned to me and said, in a serious tone, "we need to talk". I thought, this is it, the differences between us are too much for her and I'm about to be friend zoned. But nothing prepared me for what came next.
She asked me to just listen and not say anything, and I agreed. She then started out by saying that she had developed strong feelings for me but there was something that I needed to know about her that might make me want to change my mind about pursuing a relationship. My mind was spinning and so many scenarios raced through my head. Is she married? Is she a criminal? Then I remembered a few day earlier when we were making out and I touched her breast lightly and realized that she had breast implants because it was quite hard. So I thought, is she a trans?
But, as it turns out, she wasn't but that would have been better than what came next. She looked at me, and with a tear in her eye, she told me that she has stage 4 breast cancer. She was originally diagnosed 4 years earlier as stage 3 and had beaten it back into remission after having a double mastectomy along with radiation treatment and chemotherapy. Now it had returned as stage 4 and she was to start chemo again in two weeks. I was floored! She then stated that she will understand if I wanted to turn and run and she wouldn't think less of me for it.
My response was to re-iterate that I adored her. And I thought she was an amazing woman and if she wanted me to take this journey with her that I would be honored to do so. We kissed and just held each other for a while. Finally she said goodnight and went to her car to go home. I cried all the way home. We had a full amazing year together. I had to go to Japan for work and she met me there in between chemo treatments. She never cried and was always elegant. I learned what the true definition of grace meant. We lived a lifetime in 2014. She died 9 months ago, 15 months after we met. I am a much better man for having met her and shared in her struggle. I love you and miss you so much Genny!
A salad? In front of my burrito?
En route to the Worst Date Ever, this guy texted me from the burrito place we were meeting, to tell me he'd already ordered me the salad. I repeat: SALAD. At a burrito place. Also, was this the past? Was I now incapable of placing my own food order? Anyway… After arriving – with my salad ready, beside his plate of tacos – he spent the next half an hour telling me about his model ex-girlfriend and how passionate their 'breakup sex' had been…last weekend. The final straw was – even after telling him I wasn't a big fan of smoking – he literally asked a stranger for cigarettes and then chain smoked them beside me.
Way Way Way late to the party apparently, but i feel obliged to share my best friends story. He /u/philosofuel (i think was his username) died recently at age 23 from a massive seizure in his sleep. - but he loved to tell this story, so i'll tell it here, so at least if i ever forget it i know at least I can find it.
So this philosofuel is a shy guy, timid, a bit neurotic, dates are hard to come by for him but when he's on them, he's nice and charming and fairly handsome (i'll give him that) so he doesnt do too bad once he's got a shot.
Anyway, all us lads are on tinder at this stage and we all have the philosophy always swipe (whichever way is) YES so you get maximum matches and take it from there. Now there is this one girl who looks a bit rough, a bit unkept i'll say and her description read: "I love giving BJs"
Now philosofuel was a very compassionate guy and talked to literally everyone he matched with and gave everyone at least one date, he didnt match with many but bless him he dated them all (including his gf up until his death - may she never read this). He travels on a train to date this girl at her house. He recounted that from being picked up at the train station the car was full of litter, the footwell was 90% litter, 10% his feet. And the woman from the photo, she had aged, not too kindly, either. And the house was run down, dirty, every room doubling as a bedroom for some cavedweller from that part of town.
After a while of small talk and awkward experience she asked him if he wanted a bj, assuring him she was really good at these. He finds a spot on the bed among the rubbish. cup of chamomile in hand - his only refuge of cleanliness.
Man the way he described it was a very funny and less like he's repulsed.
One time I messaged a girl.
She didn't message me back...
Try reading this without gagging.
Matched with a guy and we messaged back and forth a few days before meeting up at a concert. I actually had a great time, thought he was really cute, and definitely was feeling good about the whole thing. He was about 9 years older than me, but a very clean cut looking guy, total gentleman, and a chef at a local higher-end restaurant. He invited me back to his place after the show, and I agreed because...well, I liked the guy! Since he lived pretty close to the venue I told him I'd just follow him back. That's when he said he didn't own a car, or drive (apparently he walked there).
That didn't seem like a huge red flag at first so I gave him a ride back to his place and ended up going inside with him. He casually mentioned on the way up the steps to his apartment that he didn't expect company so he apologized for not cleaning up better. Yeah, sure, that's something we all say because we left a dish in the sink by accident, right? No big. But I was not prepared for what I was about to walk into.
The front door opened into his kitchen where there were HEAPS on garbage and dirty dishes covering the table, the counters, and the sink. There was also dirty laundry strewn all around on the floor. Piles of it. I'm talking hoarder style. The only light was coming from the hallway behind me but I could already tell I'd made a huge mistake. It reeked like cat piss and rotting food. As he ushered me hurriedly through the kitchen to his bedroom I found out my nightmare was only just beginning. He flipped on the light switch to his room and...I sh*t you not...I saw the cockroaches scatter. Well, some of them anyway. The others didn't care and swarmed around his cat's food bowl which he'd left sitting in the middle of the floor (poor animal).
The place was a goddamn pig sty. Trash and everything just strewn about. He told me to have a seat on his bed, aka a mattress on the floor completely covered in cat hair. As I did, this guy just goes for it! He whips his shirt right off to reveal pierced nipples and the worst gigantic tribal chest piece tattoo. It looks almost like he drew it on with a sharpie, but I can tell it's real. Now, I have tattoos and piercings myself, but for some reason his just made me want to vomit. I'm too grossed out to even set my purse on the floor and so I'm sitting there clutching it tightly to my chest.
He puts some movie on before sitting down next to me and he starts trying to make moves. At this point I'm looking for an escape plan and FAST. I apologize, tell him some bullshit about being tired and work in the morning and I book it the hell out of there. He continued to text me and call me a couple times but he did actually get the hint fairly quickly.
I later found out through the grapevine that apparently that guy had been fired from him previous job for breaking in and attempting to steal all the liquor during a snow storm. The kicker is I ran into him a few months later at another concert where he was drunkenly dancing alone up at the front before knocking over a microphone stand. Then he came up and introduced himself to my boyfriend in a very, "oh you MUST have heard about me" kind of way. Truly one of the most bizarre human beings I'd ever met and a real tinder nightmare.
TLDR : Met a cool guy, so I thought. Went back to his place. Dude had a nasty roach problem and nipple piercings.
I had been talking to this girl on Tinder for a while and we decide we wanted to smash. The problem is I had asked my roommate if I could have the room later. (Apparently, unlike the rest of the animals you people seem to have as roommates.) So when I went to sign this girl in, we have a proctor in the lobby at my universities dorms, my roommate and several other friends of mine placed a Bluetooth speaker in my room and hid in the hallway, waiting for me to get back.
I didn't see them and things started to get hot and heavy when, "Let's Get It On" started playing from somewhere in the room. I started searching and after 5 minutes,while the song "I just had sex" was finishing playing, I found the Bluetooth speaker under my roommates bed behind his dresser. Yes I had to move both of them. I found the power button but not before the wonderful sound of hardcore pornography filled the room. The two of us decided to call it so we threw on some clothes I walked her past all six of the basterds.... I never saw her again.
Met this girl on tinder, invited her into bed. She accepts, comes over, we have fantastic sex, a lot. Same thing the next night. Thing is, she's moving to Montana in a few weeks for a job. A cook position in a national park. She invites me out there, I look into the job and eventually get it. We decide to start dating (met twice, known her for a month, I'm an idiot) to keep it exclusive at adult summer camp there in Montana. I get out there, she freaks out and breaks up with me because she has cancer, cancels the breakup, does it again the next night, I agree and say it's over. Proceeds to cock block me constantly throughout the summer and we scream at each other in the kitchen. Poor choices all around.
Ghosting on a really awful level.
This didn't actually come about through Tinder, but rather through an equivalent app. So, I meet the guy there and he's just incredible. Clever, good-looking, funny... You get the type. The only catch is that he doesn't live in my city. After a couple of weeks of messaging and phone calls, we decide to meet up and we settle on that I would be going to him because I'd never been to his city and that seemed like a fun little adventure. Right? WRONG.
The big day comes and I embark on the 2.5-hour train journey and I get all excited and I can't wait to get off the train - and then he's not at the platform when I get off. Try to call him to no avail and after four hours of waiting, I decide to take the next train back home. Haven't heard from him since.
TL;DR: Met a guy from a different city relatively far away. Stands me up when I go out there to meet him.
I don't really have a horror story, since I've gotten about one date out of tinder which went alright. But I've been rejected plenty, the highlight of which was this girl, who seemed pretty interesting and was reasonably attractive, so I swiped right. And it turned out that we matched. Hooray. So, I send her a message. Something clever, along the lines of "Hey, a match, did we just become best friends?!" Though, I can't take credit for that one, I did steal that from Reddit/step brothers. Happily, she responded rather promptly, so I was eager to read what she'd sent, cause for the most part women just kinda ignore me. Anyway, I open it up and all it said was "I swiped the wrong way."
This could not have gone better.
Matched with a girl, and she was quite pretty in the face. All of her pictures were mostly of just her face/upper body, but I didn't pay any mind. She initiated the conversation, and she was immediately in to hooking up, so of course I invited her over. She gets there and I answer the door, and turns out she was about 6'5". I am 5'8" on a good day. I let out an audible "Holy Shit" and she picked me up and carried me to the bedroom like a baby. No regrets.
ADVICE WELCOME!! So I went on three dates with this dude and we hooked up the last time at his house. Things end with the typical fade away, I was fine with it. We weren't very compatible and I noticed a few minor red flags.
6 months later he starts emailing me, obviously looking for a reenactment of our summer fling. When I turned down his advances, he sends me a screen shot of myself, in his bedroom, while we were hooking up, half a year ago.
So obviously this douche nozzle filmed us without my consent. I reported it to the police and now, almost a year after I filed the report, I have to testify against the creep. I have no legal rep except the state's "victim advocate" who only seems to have experience with DV cases.
When he's actually an underage virgin.
Happened a year ago. Met this guy. Similar interests, looked great in his pictures. We decided to meet up on a Sunday for lunch. I was so hungover from a friend's Christmas party that I threw up upon arrival. He didn't seem to mind. He didn't order a drink and I couldn't order one due to the hangover. Once the hangover subsided, I suggested we walk around and head into a bar. He doesn't like the first bar, had a "bad experience" at the next bar, and keeps on passing on them. Until we finally get to his favorite bar.
He orders drinks, and after a few more drinks I suggest heading to a wine bar. He passes, because he confesses that he's only 20. And while his profile said he worked at a local college, it was a work study position, because he is a junior there. Maybe it was the hangover, maybe it was the exhaustion, but I still brought him home. Things occurred, and I found out he was a virgin. He ran away in tears and threw up on my apartment stairs. Repeated the process once he was 21, and it was almost the same situation. Never again.
We talked for a couple of hours, drank some wine, watched a movie and we had sex. Then things went a little downhill... We layed in bed and suddenly it looked like she was about to black out so I helped her sit right up and asked if I could help her, get her some water and stuff. But she didn't speak a word. She just sat there with her her hands in her hair for a couple of minutes and then puked all over my sheets. At this point I wanted to get her to the shower asap but she was just stunned or something. I didn't know what to do.
After a couple minutes I finally convinced her to get up and brought her to the shower so she could clean herself while I could clean the sheets and all that. Every 5 min I checked on her if she was okay but she would just sit on the floor with the shower running and wouldn't talk. It was all very awkward. After 20 min or so I brought her a towel and some clothes and we sat on the edge of my bed and she told me that she was born without a womb. She cried, i calmed her down and we finally went to sleep (without a blanket or sheets, i didn't have spare ones in my studentapartment) the next day i made breakfast and she went home. Weirdest "date" I ever had.
She sounds like a keeper.
I matched this pretty cute looking girl. She didn't look like she was in super great shape but she didn't look obese or anything. Well, we exchange numbers and I called her. She agreed to come over to my house so I waited outside while she found her way over. She pulls up in a super bad*ss car so I'm like hell yeah. When she gets out, it looked like her suspension let out a sigh of relief. She was at least 300 pounds. Nice girl though, she gave me a back massage then I told her I was tired afterwards and she left.
I'm a little late to the party but my first Tinder date has been my most eventful date ever.
So I matched this absolutely drop-dead gorgeous girl, way out of my league, and we arrange to meet in the city for a few drinks on a Friday evening. We meet in this little bar and share a drink, the conversation is a lot of small talk to begin with but it's flowing well. Anyway we're there for about 30 minutes when she says she hasn't eaten anything yet and asks if I wanna grab a bite to eat. I do, so we finish our drinks and start moving outside to find some food.
When the crazed ex intervenes.
As we're walking along the sidewalk I see this guy in front of me staring me down. Like he is proper shooting daggers at me and making me super uncomfortable. I try to ignore him, look at the ground, look at the girl, whatever... we move to pass him and he spins around on his heel and SLAMS me into a wall. He has is forearm pressed up against my neck and is pushing so hard my feet are starting to lift off the ground. I try and pull his arm away from my throat, unsuccessfully, and my vision is starting to go black.
I thought I was done for here.
In a last-ditch effort to not be strangled to death, I used the wall as a board to push my knee up into him as hard as I can. I hit him square in the groin and he relinquishes his grip... my vision starts to return, although it's giving me a splitting headache. I splutter and try and get my breath back a bit while i watch this guy curl over, red in the face with veins popping out of his forehead. He stumbles over to the street and throws up all through the gutter. I turn to the girl who's just watching all of this like a roo in headlights.
Turns out, the guy was her ex-boyfriend who heard about our date through a mutual friend of theirs. I manage to wheeze out enough to ask her if she'd like to get another drink with me, as I could really use one. She declines and says she's just going to get a ride home, and practically sprints away from whatever the hell this situation was.
I ended up leaving this other guy puking in the street and stayed out for a few hours by myself. Had a really good night in the end, met a bunch of new people and a pretty fun story (in hindsight).
Went out with a girl, and had a great time together. I only knew her first name. We were texting later that night after our date and I told her to add me on Snapchat and gave her my username. She added me and up popped a request from FirstnameLastname. Her Lastname being my mom's VERY RARE maiden name. She was my second cousin.
We clarified things briefly and never spoke again.
You can't hide...
Friend saw my girlfriend (now ex) on Tinder. He was a bro and told me. Nightmare at the time but I'm glad I found out.
Reasons we are still single...
Bots, scammers and girls that don't respond to messages after we match. Overall it is a delightful waste of time.
Trading news and then never speaking again is the new way to date.
Met a girl a week back, she was a little iffy about me being in an open relationship, so she stops chatting. Resumes again a few days later and we're talking about meeting up. We exchange numbers and text a bit. She occasionally pushes the conversation sexually without much build up, I go with it, it stops. Repeat. Including a few naked pictures (noice) and I send some back (they're well-regarded). On Friday we decide to hang out Sunday. Saturday we're texting a bit at night and it's gonna be so f on.
Sunday morning I send a text to see what's up, she says come play. I'm pumped and ask her where I'm heading. The end. No more texts, no messages on Tinder, nothing. I send a few "hello?" texts her way and get nothing. I hope she's OK and just got cold feet. I hope this mainly because she's a fellow human but also partially because if something bad and mysterious happened to her and the police go through her phone, I'll be suspect numero uno.
- The 12 worst Tinder horror stories | The Independent ›
- Tindervention: Stand Up Comedy and Tinder Horror Stories Tickets ... ›
- Come on, Those Two Crazy Tinder Horror Stories Cannot Be True ... ›
- Tinder Horror Stories That Explain Why Online Dating Is Bad ... ›
- Tinder Horror Stories to Remind You There Are Worse Things Than ... ›
- Traumatized People Share Their Worst Tinder Horror Stories ... ›
- Traumatized People Share Their Worst Tinder Horror Stories ... ›
- What is your Tinder horror story? : AskReddit ›
- 2 Disturbing REAL Tinder Horror Stories - YouTube ›
- Worst Tinder Horror Stories Ever ›
- 14 Tinder Horror Stories That Will Make You Throw Your Phone At ... ›
- 14 Tinder Horror Stories That Will Make You Throw Your Phone At ... ›
Christmas is upon us. It's time to get those Christmas present lists together.
So... who has been naughty and who has been nice?
Who is getting diamonds and who is getting coal? Yuck, coal. Is that even a thing anymore? Who even started that idea?
There has to be some funnier or more "for the times" type of "you've been naughty" stocking stuffer.
I feel like the statement coal used to make is kind of last century at this point.
Apparently I'm not alone in this thinking.
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a DifferenceBlockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy
"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...toilet paper help GIFGiphy
"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spinfidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy
"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy
"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I admit, I love my stuffed animals. They're the best.
Some of them have been with me for years and I have them proudly displayed in different spots around my apartment. And when I've packed them for a move, I've done so with all the tender loving care I can muster.
What is it about them that stirs up these feelings?
Believe it or not, it's quite possible to form emotional attachments to inanimate objects!
People told us all about their own feelings after Redditor MoneySquare5734 asked the online community:
"People of Reddit, what weird sympathies do you have towards inanimate objects?"
"Computers when someone's throwing a fit or tantrum over something like a game lag, buffering or general software issues. Like dude, get angry at the real cause not the hardware thats essentially just the messenger."
We really mistreat our hardware sometimes, don't we? Going to apologize to my computer now.
"I think we're okay now..."
"I once slapped my iPad when it was being slow, then instinctively hugged it and apologised afterwards. I think we’re okay now but the level of trust definitely isn’t what it used to be."
Serves you right! You have a lot to make up for!
"I have way too much emotion..."
"I have way too much emotion invested in my Roomba. Especially as I only have one charging station, so when it's running in my living room/hallway, it can never get back to base as there's a step in the way."
"Usually feel guilty when I come home and find it stuck in some corner, knowing that it literally ran until exhaustion trying to find its home."
I do not have a Roomba but my friend has one and I think he has the opposite reaction. I think he mistreats his!
"All my dollar bills..."
"All my dollar bills need to face up in my wallet, otherwise I get the feeling those Georges and Lincolns are uncomfortable."
I think I do this too. I did not ask to be attacked like this.
"If I see..."
"If I see a really ugly plush toy at a thrift store, I feel compelled to buy it because I feel like it will just get thrown away. So now I have quite a few ugly plushies. I love them."
Aww, they now have a home with you and they must be so happy!
"I guess in general..."
"Abandoned toys. I guess in general I just feel so bad for any inanimate object that is no longer serving its purpose."
How many toys end up in the dump each year, I wonder? And how many of them are plotting their revenge as we speak?
"So I transferred everything..."
"I got a new cellphone not too long ago. So I transfered everything to my new phone but I didn't turn off the old phone afterward."
"This happened late on a Sunday and the next morning my old phone still rang to wake me up and I was somewhat sad that it still thought it was my current phone and that it still had the duty to wake me in the morning."
The feelings this stirred up... I did not know it was possible to feel this way!
"I am very appreciative..."
"Sometimes I give my car a pat on the dashboard and say thank you. It has carried me so many thousands of miles and i am safe. I am very appreciative of its hard work."
Aww. I don't have a car, but I get this! And your car appreciates YOU!
"When I was a kid..."
"When I was a kid I spent a whole afternoon feeding pebbles to a small drain outside my house because I thought it was hungry."
Okay, this is cute – and totally something a little kid would do!
"There's a thing I call..."
"There’s a thing I call 'mechanical empathy.' If you emotionally attach to your bike or car you’ll be kinder and more gentle to it."
"Some people are really rough on cars and other machinery, it’s painful to drive with them."
I was in a car recently with a driver who got a bad case of road rage and just slammed her hands on the dashboard whenever she was upset. That poor car!
Who knew we could feel so attached to the inanimate objects around us? Humans are fascinating creatures. We're capable of a lot of love and empathy, even for the smallest things.
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
Cut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
Not The Cool Old Guy
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
Since We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
Why Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
Real talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Do all mothers go to the say mom school or something? Because they seem to share the same advice or go on the same platitudes, don't they?
Here's an idea.
Maybe they're just older, have more experience, and are trying to keep us from being dumbasses in public. At least, that's what I think.
I'm definitely grateful for my mother's advice—it's saved me more than once—and it seems many out there are too. And they all seem to have heard the same things from their mothers, too.
Any of these sound familiar? They probably do, and we heard all about them after Redditor lame_excuses asked the online community,
"What are some things all moms say?"
"I'll go first..."
"I'll go first: 'So if your friend jumped off a cliff would you jump off too?"
Okay, my mother did not say this, but all my friends' mothers did.
"We have fun."
"My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold."
"Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat."
"We have fun."
I want a documentary crew to follow you both around. It'd be hilarious.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
"When you lose something."
- Have you tried looking for it?
- Have you looked everywhere?
- Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
George Carlin knew what he was talking about. RIP.
"You know Glynis? She's your aunt's mother-in-law's close friend. Anyway, she died last week."
"I have eyes..."
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
"My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted, 'Ouch!' I believed her for years!!"
I was convinced of this too! Damn, my mother was good.
"I had some friends over..."
"I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word 'food.'"
"Hey, mom, what's for dinner?"
"Worked every time."
You both clearly planned this!
"When at the billing counter..."
"When at the billing counter every mom has the maternal instinct to say - 'Just stay in the line, I need to go grab a few more things.'"
This is my mother.
How many times have I dealt with this?!
“It’s because you didn’t drink enough water."
BUT I DO!!
"If you have siblings..."
"If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings' names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards."
Good thing my family was small!
"My Mum used to use it all the time..."
"'Soon.'" An indeterminate time frame from 5 minutes to several hours. My Mum used to use it all the time to deflect stupid questions like 'When is dinner?'"
"Answer: she always, always served it around 6 pm."
It's true! My mother would do this – and still does this. And we definitely don't eat as early as that!
Confirmed: All mothers meet for the annual mother convention to say all–and I do mean ALL–of these things to their kids.
Anything missing, though? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.