People Reveal What They Think Everyone Should Immediately Stop Romanticizing
Isn't that just so NOT romantic?!
Sure there are plenty of things in life that are cool and sexy. We can't help but b e drawn to certain things that we think are hip or will make us look better in the eyes of the world. Sometimes it's okay to indulge in what's trendy but we really need to take a step back and look at the things and the people we are putting on a pedestal. More often than not we're caught up in the fantasy and the real life effect is toxic.
Redditor u/uh_vika wanted everyone to get smart about a few things in life by asking.... What is something people need to stop romanticizing?
Practice Makes Perfect....
GiphyFirst time sex. sometimes it doesn't go well, and that is ok. deathiswaitingforme
This is true. For some people it doesn't. For me it did so much I had to stop, which led to him saying we were "basically still virgins" later and making me realize I made a very poor choice for my first. People need to understand that the first time can be like sitting on a knife or completely fine, or anywhere in between. littlekellilee
Hit Snooze....
Lack of sleep. hydrofeuille
Yeah. The aviation industry and Air Forces around the world mandate crew rest time because people were dying from accidents caused at least partly by lack of sleep, but some people make it a point of pride to drive an unsafe amount of hours without rest. judgingyouquietly
Disease is NOT funny....
Bipolar Disorder is not chic. ogrefoot87
This this this this this. Having out of control emotions, both good and bad, is torturous. You know they're not realistic but you can't help it. Feeling empty and hopeless isn't glamorous. Being manic and hyperactive isn't fun. It's draining. It's awful, and the havoc makes the people around you miserable too.
Not. Fun. lunayoshi
You're just plain annoying.....
Being OCD... there's a difference between being "neat and particular and a clean freak," and having crippling/unwanted thoughts, behaviors and actions. In one case you're just extremely anal. The other, more serious case, you have a genuine mental health diagnosis. ericasin
How much for the divorce?
GiphyRidiculously expensive weddings. Average cost of a wedding in my state is around $60,000. A lot of people take out loans and debt for one day of living way outside their means. jonny970
Working to Death!
Living those "overly stressed lifestyles." Especially in college. Congratulations on your pulling the sixth full-nighter to cram even more for your finals, but I'd rather get a decent night's sleep and study with a clear brain. to_the_tenth_power
It's not Love!
Abusive relationships. If you're constantly arguing about anything and everything, calling each other names, causing drama for the sake of it, or guilt tripping each other to do what you want then you're not good together. Both or only one of you doing this is not okay and not cute. It's abuse.
Also, mental illness and faking it for attention. Cyanide_Kitty_101
Not so Sexy afterall...
Falling in love with a bad boy and hoping he'll change his ways for you. arttyfidas
It's the equivalent of every guy who thinks he can make some totally uninterested woman fall in love with him. DConstructed
Not a love connection...
GiphySerial Killers. It's important to educate people about them, but the people who talk about wanting to f**k them online are crazy. pimpmywalrus
NC-17
Child beauty pageants. Wrong_Answer_Willie
Children dressing up like adults, in general.
Back in 2015, there was a 10 year old girl who was dressed up in sleek dresses and heavy makeup with lots of mascara, and was posed very sexually for Vogue magazine. She had her hair up, wore stiletto heels, and lots of flashy diamond jewelry. If you look it up, she looks like a 20-something year old woman.
And now there's those two 11 year old boys doing drag, one of them stripping in bars and in parades, and posing with convicted felons. The other one did a photo shoot posing nude with an adult queen. It disturbs me that everyone pretends these literal children are adults. They're not adults. JackEaston
Out of Tune.
Drug abuse as a way to deal with mental health in rap. 7evin7
As an alcoholic alcoholism 100% should not be romanticized. That said, full blown insomnia is absolutely hellish and I do sympathize with those so desperate to get some kind of sleep, even the alcohol induced shitty kind, that they turn to drink. superfurrykylos
Memories....
GiphyI've learnt that Nostalgia is toxic. You only remember the good parts. You forget why you chose to get out. amitnagpal1985
Is there an antonym for nostalgia? Not for being positive about the future, but for only remembering bad stuff? UnculturedLout
Objection!
Don't romanticize toxic relationships. Or relationships of any kind that don't benefit either of the parties. Both people in a relationship need to be comfortable and happy with one another— otherwise it's a s**t show. Shyn_exe
Just Sad.
Depression and suicide. Its not charming, its not poetic. It sucks and is not cool. Danni_dude23
There is this secret on "post secret" where a teacher wrote a poem that starts with "f**k the poets of the past, my friend. There are no beautiful suicides. Just cold corpses with crap in their pants and the end of all gifts." These lines need to be read by anyone who thinks Suicide is in any way a cool thing or a glamorous thing. BetsyZZZ
Be Alone.
Being overly busy/committing to everything someone asks for.
People who have things/activities every night and weekend stress me out.
Be at peace, just learn to be at peace. hisspaceprincess
Rocky is not a life goal.
Fighting... it's not cool getting almost killed and left with several inner bleedings. JonathanTheZero
This. Everyone acts like a concussion is a normal thing, and shouldn't be taken seriously. My best friend hit her head a week ago. When she woke up, she asked who I was. I'm not sure she'll ever get her memories back fully, and her teachers don't seem to believe her, because it's "just" a concussion. myriidabit
You're Mine!
Possessive behavior.
No, it's not cute when your SO gets jealous because of everyone that looks at you; it's fricking sick. I mean, honestly, if you don't trust me enough to know I would not cheat on you we should see other people. goldfishhate
Stay Calm.
Anxiety. I'm sure someone else has already said this but it can be said again. People on the internet seem to think it's some kind of "trend" to have anxiety and panic attacks and they throw terms around like it's nothing. Anxiety isn't a joke and it isn't something people should claim to have without any reason other than that they feel stressed out. (Also, I totally understand that there are plenty of people on the internet who really do have anxiety, but I've seen my fair share of people who are very clearly faking it). shiinymoth
Answer the Call...
GiphyWAR! caler733
I have seen so many advertisements for the US military lately. They all look like Call of Duty commercials. flpacsnr
The Weirdest Reasons Guys Suddenly Lost Interest In A Crush
Reddit user Romeothanh asked: 'Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it?'
Infatuation is a curious thing.
One moment, you can be swept up in major adoration for someone to such a degree that you can't stop thinking about them.
But the next moment, you may suddenly find yourself moving on.
What is it that drives someone to lose their lust for their former object of affection?
Curious to hear from strangers who experienced going from hot to cold in casual dating, Redditor Romeothanh asked:
"Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it??"
Questionable behaviors were seen as major turn-offs.
Poor Parenting
"The way she treated her children, her boy was permitted everything and her daughter had to follow very strict rules."
"I didn't have to ask to know what was going on, the boy's real father wasn't her ex-husband but a guy she had an affair with at work, her daughter was really from her ex-husband. She was always resentful of her upbringing and then her marriage for impeding some kind of dreamed life she thought she was entitled to. So the boy was seen as a piece of that dream and the girl was a piece of her boring life but she was also reliving her childhood through her and pushing her to excel in sports, school and manners and reveling in her daughter's accomplishments as if they were hers."
– Telesto1087
Past Grievances
"She accused me of cheating on her in a past life."
"I told her 'I don’t remember that.'”
– Breloren
"Sounds like something someone who cheated in a past life would say!"
– thefirecrest
At Least She Washes Her Hands...
"She spat in her hands and rubbed them together because she 'needed to wash them.' I cannot describe the colossal speed at which that switch turned off."
– whitesebastian
"Was she some sort of 1930’s farm hand or construction worker?"
– valueduser
There were some serious red flags.
Schadenfreude
"A elderly gentlemen fell in front of us, he took a nasty fall."
"She found it hilarious, instead of helping she just stood there laughing. I helped that person out and I felt so embarrassed for her behavior."
"Also that was the last time I saw her. It was a major turn off for me."
– oxide-NL
Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy
"I invited the girl from my psych course I'd been vibing with to a party. Her car rolled up and I came out to greet her, but it was a dude's car, and she was drunkenly making out with him as I walked up. I didn't flip out or anything, but she slurred her way through some weird attempt at reassuring me that I shouldn't worry, 'cause she was only sleeping with him to punish him because he was a bad guy (apparently that's a thing she does), and that I was a good guy. I didn't ask what happened to good guys. I felt bad for her date, whom she completely ignored the rest of the night. As for the girl, she ended up totally engrossed with the party host's gerbil, tapping on the glass of its cage whispering how she wanted to kill it. I found somewhere new to sit in psych class for the rest of the semester."
– MissionofQorma
I'm Generous And You're Gonna Like It
"She kept buying me stuff. It was nice at first but she kept doing it weekly and demanded I give gifts in return. I asked her to stop and she said "nope this is what I do." Felt like she didn't even care about what I wanted."
– Dry-Enthusiasm3515
Easiest Breakup Ever
"It was a really horrible relationship even this aside but my 'wow i think i actually hate this person' moment was when we were at Badlands National Park. We were just walking out of the gift shop with some other woman when she just let go of the door and it like slammed into that womans face. I said to her 'omg im so sorry' then when we got to the car i said to my gf in like a joking tone 'i cant beliehe you didnt hold the door for her haha' and because she was a very very miserable person all the time this makes her mad and she goes 'well YOURE the man youre supposed to hold the door. I dont NEED to hold the door for anybody' and yeah that one statement alone was very... eye opening for me."
"Seriously the easiest least heartbreaking break up ive ever gone through."
– ILoveTikkaMasala
The Cat Recognized Evil
"My cat didn't like her."
"Brought her home to introduce her to my parents, she meets my childhood cat and. It. Goes. Psychotic. Just for her reaching down to pat him, he panicked, attached himself to her arm, and wouldn't let go, just clawing at her like he found a demon to fight or something. When he eventually detached himself (they were both running around the room screaming as she tried to wave him off her arm) I checked her over and he did some damage. He's never reacted like that to anyone before or since. We broke it off shortly later."
"I found out a few years ago she was in the court system. Why? She tried to kill her own kid. I didn't dodge a bullet because of my cat, I dodged an artillery shell."
– GryphonicOwl
It's not me, it's you.
So Rude
"She didn’t hold the door open to people just meeting her at the door, would let it slam on people behind her, didn’t do the little thank you wave to other cars that let her out, didn’t say please and thank you to serving staff. She wasn’t overtly rude, she just had a bit of a me,me,me vibe."
– Hellenicparadise
Norwegian Love
"She told me she was pregnant and it was mine, 2 days after sleeping with me for the first (and only) time. Then proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend."
"I should have twigged earlier really. She flew from Norway to sleep with me and flew back the next day."
– Perseus73
Face Reveal
"I’d been talking to this girl in class I thought was really cool. We ended up going for a bite after class one day and she suggested we go hang out in my dorm room. Hell yeah."
"Then she took off her glasses and she looked exactly like my mom. It was so jarring I excused myself to the bathroom to regroup, but when I came back I couldn’t unsee my mom’s face on her."
"I made some lame excuse and went back alone. I felt bad about bailing on her but I also how the hell would I tell her the real reason? Either she thinks I’m a weirdo or thinks I’m saying she looks like she’s in her fifties."
– OneSmoothCactus
Don't Speak
"My mate ghosted a girl simply because he didn't like her cadence when she spoke."
– Random-chick-98
My shallowest moment was years ago when I ghosted a hot tennis player I was dating because he had a particularly annoying gait.
Anytime we would walk around the city (in New York), he would gradually lean into me and prevent us from walking a straight path.
I thought he was deliberately trying to get close but it turned out that one of his legs was shorter than the other resulting in him taking uneven steps.
When he explained his situation, it weirded me out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him why I could no longer see him, so I just stopped responding to his incessant messages about when we were meeting next.
I remain regretful to this day about my immature behavior, and I wish him the best wherever he is.
When picking a career, it's a good idea to talk to people who have been in the professions you're considering for quite some time.
My parents wanted me to become a doctor, but I was ambivalent to the idea.
My discussions with veteran doctors convinced me there was no way I wanted to go into medicine.
So what are some other not so great jobs?
Reddit user NocturnalMemeLord asked:
"What are the ...worst professions to have?"
Thanks, Ron
"The worst job to have is being a teacher and the worst company to work for is the Florida Department of Education."
~ Phycopathic
"My poor wife trying to battle school admin for an ounce of support. Such a stressful place to live."
~ Firebird117
Ring, Ring
"Call center employee."
"I only did the job for a couple places and for a mercifully short time, but oh my holy God that gig is soul-crushing."
~ gogojack
"I worked in a call center for Cox Communications. All the upselling, pressure from supervisors, demand on stats, it made me depressed."
"I worked there 2 and half years and it was not until I left I realized majority of my time there I was depressed. I just did not care hardly about life."
"I'm much better now, much happier. I kept journals from that time, and I've reread them. I would not recognize myself from that person then."
~ UnusualLight0
Com On
"I won’t name the company I worked for (it rhymes with Bomcast), but call center was the most draining experience ever."
"Limited tools to help very (and justifiably) angry customers, coworkers that mess up then pass the problem to you, and AI tools testing job performance that feel BEYOND rigged against you."
~ Antiumbra
"I worked for Comcast in their retention call center. Most depressing job I've ever had."
"Getting cursed at every single day and they expected us to hit sales. My friend from there has a call recorded of a dude telling her to kill herself."
"Every change they made to the TV packages was sh*tty for the customer and I knew it'd just be months of getting yelled at for the same thing."
"Nothing like the God awful phone tree to really prime people up getting pissed before they finally manage to talk to a live person."
~ DomoInMySoup
Beaten By the Beat
"I am a journalist. My son just got his first job at the convenience store around the corner."
"He makes more than I do. I love my work but don't go into journalism for the money."
"Yeah, I definitely don't make enough for the therapy all those courtroom photos have put me in, for sure."
"My publication (print) is a small one, in a small town."
"That means when tragedy strikes and I have to cover it, it is, very often, someone I know."
~ LizardPossum
Live at Five
"Came to say local TV News Producer/Reporter. Low pay, high stress and toxic work environments."
~ zhitsngigglez
"Which is a real shame since local news was always so important but is now disappearing in many places, and that tends to have many negative consequences at the city/municipal/community level."
"Local news acts as something of a public service at the community level, educating and shining lights on important issues facing communities while seeking to provide the information necessary for citizens to solve those problems (or making informed votes for people who can/will solve them)."
"Unfortunately, local news rarely has the audience or reach to pay for itself, then they get gobbled up by larger regional/national chains, start focusing less on local issues and more on pushing provincial/state or national narratives of the big chain, then dismantled and shuttered as cost-saving measures by the struggling national chain."
~ Infamous-Mixture-605
*cough*
"Shisha/ hookah lounge worker."
"Late hours, usually minimum wage and you might as well smoke 20 packs of cigarettes a day because you have to start up the hookah for your customers and constantly be around fumes."
"You're basically burning up your lungs for barely a living."
~ homehermitaliv
Helping Those Who Don't Want Help
"Therapist in a skilled nursing facility."
"Pressure to give therapy to residents who don’t want it or need it; pressure to bill 90% of your day with NO excuses; no paid holidays; no over time, no raises unless you change jobs starting over with 1 week vacation/year."
"And of course giving customer service to people who are sick/not feeling their best."
~ Help_I_am_a_bug
"My wife is a therapist. She has done therapy in treatment centers a lot and dealt with a lot of people who didn't want to be there but were court ordered."
"Given therapy to people who are there sometimes because it is that or prison."
"Talk about people who don't want to do therapy. And it was for a non profit, so wages were low."
"Also she was on a team that worked only with chronically homeless people at a different time."
"It was hard but very important work. She would often go to places most people are afraid of."
"But now she runs her own private practice. She still has a tendency to take on too many clients that take a large toll on her, she refuses to take 'boring' clients, but she is much happier."
~ VulfSki
Have You Tried Turning It Off
"Never do general tech support, 100% of the clientele are old people who don't know how to use computers and basically get scammed into signing up for your tech support services."
"Legally it's not a scam because they make the customer sign all these waivers to protect the company from getting in trouble for scamming them."
~ Redditor
Now We're Cooking
"Chef."
"Life is unfortunately as bad as the rumors says."
"Nothing lives long in that world."
~ ThePinkyArmy
"And it seems to suck on every level from frying burgers in a bar to three Michelin stars, there is no cushy position at all."
~ OldMork
Like a Puzzle
"Working for my self installing tile. The worst career. Glad I am retired from that profession."
~ Lucky4you21
"My father installed floors for a living and would occasionally install ceramic tile. The pay, as well as the standards, varied widely throughout the country."
"Arizona was probably the worst, he made less than half what he made in the northeast (New York and Pennsylvania)."
"I worked with him a lot during my childhood and as young adult, but I never wanted to do it as a career."
"The work is just too physically demanding and every day was a new adventure in stress as you encountered inevitable problems and challenges on the job."
~ HeartyDogStew
At Risk
"Any kind of residential facility for 'at risk kids'."
"It's like being a teacher, but 3/4 of your group is that kid and you don't have a lesson plan, and you're with them all day, and you get paid less."
"Only upside is my facility was quasi-military, and the first few weeks is like a boot camp, and if you establish yourself right away as someone not to be messed with and maintain it, your days are a bit easier."
~ endless-reproachment
Fresh Air Doesn't Pay the Bills
"Forestry technician is an awful career path."
"You are required a post secondary education, and you get paid about as much as a McDonalds worker often to risk your life and safety in deep bush.
"However, you do get to drive quads and shoot guns on the clock."
~ osamabeenpoopin
"Hiking around the forest is damn fun though."
"Running into cougars and moose, taking your lunch on a mountaintop...
"I miss it. I made way more sitting at a desk but I was bored to oblivion."
"I have permanent scars and about a dozen pairs of trashed jeans from those damned jackstraw piles."
"Still, I'd rather be ripped up by downed trees and stalked by cougars all day than sit at a computer for the rest of my life."
~ Competitive-Air-6531
Not a Rx for Happiness
"Pharmacy tech. Lunch breaks were just approved due to a mass exodus during Covid. We didn’t use to get them in retail. We still don’t on my night shift."
"Every single second of my 12 hr shift was on my feet, never sitting down, never looking at my phone, never taking a break, never getting a lunch. Doctors yelling, nurses yelling, patients dieing and having to carefully use a needle and drugs to spike a bag."
"We couldn’t wear any makeup or have nails done (IV pharmacy). Constant turnover. For $20/hr."
"I got denied asking for a vacation I put in for 3 months prior because they couldn’t find anyone to cover me and told me to find it myself."
"Pharmacy techs and pharmacists are severely underpaid nowadays for the stress that they endure. And many are quitting."
"It was hard as heck to get a job as a pharmacy tech in the 2000s—you had to network! That’s why so many retail pharmacies are cutting hours and closing."
"Getting berated by customers because their insurance companies suck (not the customers fault though!), worrying about being held at gun point because that has happened to me in retail, and not trying to accidentally kill someone with the wrong dose."
"There are many people who have zero college experience or an associates/bachelors degree that make more than pharmacists!"
"Meanwhile pharmacists have $100k student loan debt for a doctorate degree barely making $100k in some places for a DOCTORATE degree. Insane to me!"
~ vanillaroseeee
Well, Actually...
"The guy that pumped my septic. That looked like a sh*tty job."
~ Ok_Accountant1529
"That's what I thought about septic installers too but then I had mine redone and I actually think that installing (not pumping) systems would be a good gig."
~ H34thcliff
"I live in an area where most people are on septic and have dealt with a lot of these guys."
"I can tell you to a man, they own the vac truck, make you see the before and after, and then fix your sh*t. Always good honest guys."
"Also, I think they make a pretty decent living."
~ Badfish1060
Well, you read it here.
Septic installation and pumping is the profession of choice.
What do you think?
When I started college, I had every intention of cooking all my meals. It became very apparent very quickly that I simply didn't have the time to accomplish this, and I became the Takeout Queen.
I ordered food constantly. Between getting a monthly "allowance" from my dad (intended to go towards groceries), finding coupons taped to my apartment door everyday, and essentially being "allowed" to tip less than handsomely since I was a college student, I was able to afford this.
When I graduated and moved into my own place, things changed. I was too old to not tip properly, I didn't get any supplementary money from my family, and I had more expenses, such as rent. Still, I continued to order food, and it became my main expense.
My friends tell me the way I order food is only meant for "rich people." I have to skimp on everything else in order to have enough saved to support this. It's definitely true, but I don't think this habit will ever change.
I'm not the only one that does "rich people stuff." Redditors do lots of things that is classified that way, despite not being rich, and they are ready to share their stories.
It all started when Redditor Abbas_Noorani 16 asked:
"What is some rich sh*t you do even though you are not rich?"
Ravenous
"Food. I buy what I want and I try new stuff. I like cooking."
– 34i79s
"Grocery shopping without concern for budget is what made me realize I had made it back in the day. Good times."
"Now I have hard budgets again and it truly sucks. You question every damn decision and convince yourself to do without or downgrade to the lowest priced quality."
– txmail
"On the same boat. The other day I looked at expensive butter that I used to stock up on without even thinking twice and sighed."
– cat101786
Monthly
"Forget to cancel my free trial."
– Adept_Insurance5550
"Damn. Thanks for the reminder."
– -Bk7
"I'm still a member of AOL."
– __SpeedRacer__
Too Hot
"I leave the fridge door open when getting the butter out even though my dad said it would cost billions and send us to the streets."
– frank-sarno
"I leave the front door open when I pop out to grab my mail. Took me years of living on my own to realize the AC bill doesn’t shoot up by hundreds of dollars if I do that."
– MelodramaticQuarter
Necessities
"Buy the good toilet paper."
– FrankGehryNuman
"Absolutely!"
"Good toilet paper. Can't stand cheapo toilet paper, you give yourself a surprise when your finger goes through the paper when wiping your chuff. Don't get me started on that stuff they used to have in hospitals! It was awful - sandpaper that didn't soak up but rather moved stuff 🤐"
– helensmelon
Clean And Sweep
"I have a maid that comes weekly. I've found that my sanity is worth the cost."
– Eringobraugh2021
"Weekly? Oo la la!"
– a**ypantz72
Comfort Matters
"My thermostat stays at the temperature setting of what is most comfortable to me and nothing will change that."
– Cyb3rTruk
"Lol this really outlined how different climates can be. My thought was "Yeah, I'm going to be as cozy and warm as I want and not freeze in the comfort of my own home.""
– McCoyIsFun
Double
"Some days I have two sandwiches at lunch. I smile as I watch all my fellow proletariat eating their single sandwich."
– ShambolicPaul
"Brotip: Cut your sandwich an infinite number of times and rearrange the pieces into two full sandwiches. Don't give your money away to Big Sandwich!"
– NotInherentAfterAll
Sparkling
"Paying for car cleaning."
– angydevil
"Justified, tho my dad would kill me."
– Abbas_Noorani
The Big Cheese
"I sometimes buy name brand cheese instead of the store brand."
– NeuroguyNC
"Tillamook or nothing for me! I’ll buy store brand beans and paper towels and other stuff. But not for my cheese!"
– VariegatedThumb
Replenish
"We have a garage fridge that is full of all different kinds of beverages."
– SixStinkyFingers
"It's not the fridge itself, it's keeping it stocked!"
– 4x32Studio
A House Is A Home
"I own a house...."
– 1d0m1n4t3
"Oh damn rich people sh*t."
– Abbas_Noorani
"We shouldn't be able to joke about owning a modest home being rich people sh*t. Anyone who works full time should be able to afford a home."
– 1d0m1n4t3
Write Better
"I buy the gel comfort pens. Makes me feel I'm a higher class when writing at work. Smooth crisp consistent ink."
– UltraCoolPimpDaddy
"I have gotten into arguments over people stealing my G2 .07."
– savvyspoon2
Me Too!
"I buy small trash bags for the bathroom trash bins. My whole family uses grocery bags, but I don’t like how they always rip at the bottom."
– Deleted User
It's Required!
"No Margarine in my house, Butter Only, and lots of it. My arteries think I'm rich."
– weisblattsnut
Unused
"I have HBO but I don’t watch it."
– MillionToOneShotDoc
"I have Netflix, Prime, Hulu, and Disney Plus. Don’t watch any of it. Watch YouTube all the time and I’m too stupid to get Premium."
– AngryDerf
Now, that's the definition of having money to burn!
Of course, I wouldn't know. I need to save money for my food!
Married People Divulge What They Realized Only After Tying The Knot
Generally, when people talk about marriage, they get excited about the big wedding day and the honeymoon thereafter.
People don't always talk about what happens in the marriage after the "honeymoon phase" wears off, and they certainly don't talk about the other long-term realities of marrying someone for life.
Pondering this, Redditor Ok_Reality-77 asked:
"What did you realize after getting married?"
It's Not All Romantic
"Marriage isn’t just about the person you want to have fun with. It’s also about the person you want to spend $10,000 on a new furnace with, or go to a funeral with, or get a flat tire with."
"Your spouse should make your way in life easier, especially during the hard times."
- aggressivelysingle
Wedding Invitation Drama
"I don’t get upset if I don’t make the cut for someone else’s wedding, that s**t is expensive."
- coconutmama77
"I had one wedding where I got pretty ticked off about not being invited, to be honest."
"One of the bridesmaids at my wedding got married a few years after we did. She was out in Baltimore, and we are UK-based, but she wanted my wife as her bridesmaid too, so we of course flew over. We were the only ones not local."
"In the rehearsal the day before, one of the groomsmen wasn't there, so I stood in for him."
"Then later that night, I was told that the wedding was a small affair and that only my wife was invited to the ceremony. I would be only an evening guest. They just neglected to mention that on the invite."
"It caused massive ripples among the guests because there was no reason for snubbing me like that."
"I really liked the groom and he was in bits trying to deal with the psycho fit his bride was throwing about everything, so I ended up just doing as told so as not to cause an issue for him on his day."
"Years later, she asked my wife on a video call if we wanted to come visit them sometime soon, and her husband said to her, 'You're kidding, right? You know he doesn't like you after the wedding s**t, right?'"
"She was shocked to learn that I thought she was an a**hole, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Wind_Yer_Neck_In
The Wrong Partner
"Bad marriage does way more harm than being alone."
- rosiebunnies
"When I left my first husband for being an irredeemable a**hat, I truly thought I’d sworn off marriage forever. But here I am, 14 years into my second marriage, and I couldn’t be more thankful that I was wrong about marriage being a bad thing."
- -comfypants
"I’ve had my own bad relationships. Then I started to look at my parents' unhealthy relationship but then saw that my brother actually has a really good one, and that helped put things into perspective. Some people should be together, and others should not."
- Lancefree
The Value of Disagreements
"That true partnership means conflict is inevitable but productive."
"Part of me knew we'd disagree, but I took some time to know the best way to work through it. It's not being a doormat and it's not being right every time."
- d20sapphire
The Importance of Alone Time
"How much I NEED alone time..."
- blacksweater
"We live in a house larger than we need. So we each have hobby areas and our own bathroom in addition to general s**t we don't do together. Our friends think it's weird, but we are strong as f**k, and their relationships didn't survive the pandemic."
- GoldenBarracudas
Secret Personalities
"People can be really, REALLY good at hiding who they truly are."
"People keep telling me I must have missed signs. I think they just haven’t encountered people that can change on a dime like my ex-husband."
- InstantElla
Increased Income
"How much easier it is to afford things as a joint couple with two incomes."
- Ornery-Cattle1051
"To me, this is one of the few downsides to being single. I like my single life but do not like my single income."
- SnoopsMan
Constant Forgiveness
"Marriage is a constant exercise in forgiveness."
"Be sure you love them, like for real."
"Luckily for me, I do."
- pussinbootskitty
Marrying the Family
"They say you marry their family. You absolutely do."
"One day I was a girlfriend, and the next I was holding my husband's grandmother's hand while she died. I was dragged into family fights the likes of which I'd never seen. I've been loved and weaponized and defended like I could never fathom."
"I laughed at people saying they married the whole family. I was so wrong."
- IHeartChipSammiches
"You put this into words so beautifully. I never would have imagined how much I love his family as my own, even though they bug the crap out of me sometimes, lol (laughing out loud)."
- chipmunk_butt
Communication is Key
"That good communication is vital to a relationship."
"The ability to have a calm, rational conversation over any topic is something to strive for. The trust that the two of you can talk about anything in a safe environment is key. The ability to be honest and open with each other."
"Communication, y'all. It works."
- agharta-astra
Ditch the Highway
"You spent X amount of years doing things your way. So has your new spouse. Just because it's not your way doesn't mean it's wrong."
"It's okay to compromise, but it's also okay to realize that some things may come down to My Way, Their Way, and Our Way."
"My husband and I learned a lot from each other but 15 years later, we have never, NEVER compromised on how to fold laundry so we just each do our own. I don't mind doing his, but I'll fold it my way. He'll easily wash and dry mine, but he folds his way. It's nice that the laundry is done, but then I had to refold everything."
"For those wondering, I fold shirts in a tri-fold rectangle and he does some weird square thing. Incompatible in our dresser drawers."
- Scucer
Hands and Height
"I have to add (this may sound bizarre) that if one of you is left-handed and the other is right-handed, you will most certainly run into some problems."
"It seems ridiculous, but where you place things that you need multiple times on a daily basis comes down to space and which hand you use (e.g., dish soap, hand soap, etc. Basically anything on a counter in a kitchen or a bathroom)."
"This also applies to height differences. Sometimes we really, literally have to find the in-between, or accept that one or the other will be doing it for themselves and it’s not insulting. It’s just really for the best sanity of us both."
- HGLiveEdge
Cherish the Time
"I must say, for me, it would be Time. Time moves SOOOOO very slow, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOO very fast."
"I married my wife yesterday."
"We closed on our first house yesterday."
"We had our boys YESTERDAY."
"I finished our basement with my own two hands (and my best friends’ hands) yesterday."
"We sold our first home yesterday."
"My father passed away YESTERDAY."
"My boys started high school and middle school yesterday."
"I just made an @ss of myself tonight and needed to apologize to my wife! (This actually was tonight.)"
"Seriously, everything feels like yesterday, but it is moving by so quickly. I’m just trying to hold on, thankfully, she’s here with me."
- pencerules
Marriage Plus Kids
"Everyone was wrong, marriage changed nothing."
"But children... Children change everything."
- korinth86
"100% agree. We lived together before we got married. Absolutely nothing in our relationship changed. But kids. Oh lord, that changes everything."
- StannVeal
Medically Responsible
"It changes who can kick whom out of the hospital room. And that was why I got married."
"My husband got married for the feel’s and the frilly stuff. I got married so he/we inherit each other's stuff and get the final say on end-of-life stuff (it was a rough couple of years, I lost a lot of family in a short span)."
"Can all that be done separately from marriage? YEP. Is it viewed as seriously? Nope. Can it be done as easily and in one fell swoop? Nope."
"(This, more than the feelings, to me, is why people should be able to marry whom they choose, regardless of gender.)"
- sageautumn
Right in the Feels
"I like saying, 'My wife…' even more than I thought I would."
"We’ve each been married before, and we were together for 7 years before we got around to getting married (we knew where it was going very early). I didn’t think it would feel like that big of a deal to say, but… I love my wife, and the experience of referring to her is enough to make me smile."
- BetweenCoffeeNSleep
While there were some tough realities mixed into this list, most of the experiences shared here were heartwarming.
Marriage might be diminished by some to be just a piece of paper, but for those who take the symbolism seriously, there is some real happiness in store for them.