Sure there are plenty of things in life that are cool and sexy. We can't help but b e drawn to certain things that we think are hip or will make us look better in the eyes of the world. Sometimes it's okay to indulge in what's trendy but we really need to take a step back and look at the things and the people we are putting on a pedestal. More often than not we're caught up in the fantasy and the real life effect is toxic.
Redditor u/uh_vika wanted everyone to get smart about a few things in life by asking.... What is something people need to stop romanticizing?
Practice Makes Perfect....
GiphyFirst time sex. sometimes it doesn't go well, and that is ok. deathiswaitingforme
This is true. For some people it doesn't. For me it did so much I had to stop, which led to him saying we were "basically still virgins" later and making me realize I made a very poor choice for my first. People need to understand that the first time can be like sitting on a knife or completely fine, or anywhere in between. littlekellilee
Hit Snooze....
Lack of sleep. hydrofeuille
Yeah. The aviation industry and Air Forces around the world mandate crew rest time because people were dying from accidents caused at least partly by lack of sleep, but some people make it a point of pride to drive an unsafe amount of hours without rest. judgingyouquietly
Disease is NOT funny....
Bipolar Disorder is not chic. ogrefoot87
This this this this this. Having out of control emotions, both good and bad, is torturous. You know they're not realistic but you can't help it. Feeling empty and hopeless isn't glamorous. Being manic and hyperactive isn't fun. It's draining. It's awful, and the havoc makes the people around you miserable too.
Not. Fun. lunayoshi
You're just plain annoying.....
Being OCD... there's a difference between being "neat and particular and a clean freak," and having crippling/unwanted thoughts, behaviors and actions. In one case you're just extremely anal. The other, more serious case, you have a genuine mental health diagnosis. ericasin
How much for the divorce?
GiphyRidiculously expensive weddings. Average cost of a wedding in my state is around $60,000. A lot of people take out loans and debt for one day of living way outside their means. jonny970
Working to Death!
Living those "overly stressed lifestyles." Especially in college. Congratulations on your pulling the sixth full-nighter to cram even more for your finals, but I'd rather get a decent night's sleep and study with a clear brain. to_the_tenth_power
It's not Love!
Abusive relationships. If you're constantly arguing about anything and everything, calling each other names, causing drama for the sake of it, or guilt tripping each other to do what you want then you're not good together. Both or only one of you doing this is not okay and not cute. It's abuse.
Also, mental illness and faking it for attention. Cyanide_Kitty_101
Not so Sexy afterall...
Falling in love with a bad boy and hoping he'll change his ways for you. arttyfidas
It's the equivalent of every guy who thinks he can make some totally uninterested woman fall in love with him. DConstructed
Not a love connection...
GiphySerial Killers. It's important to educate people about them, but the people who talk about wanting to f**k them online are crazy. pimpmywalrus
NC-17
Child beauty pageants. Wrong_Answer_Willie
Children dressing up like adults, in general.
Back in 2015, there was a 10 year old girl who was dressed up in sleek dresses and heavy makeup with lots of mascara, and was posed very sexually for Vogue magazine. She had her hair up, wore stiletto heels, and lots of flashy diamond jewelry. If you look it up, she looks like a 20-something year old woman.
And now there's those two 11 year old boys doing drag, one of them stripping in bars and in parades, and posing with convicted felons. The other one did a photo shoot posing nude with an adult queen. It disturbs me that everyone pretends these literal children are adults. They're not adults. JackEaston
Out of Tune.
Drug abuse as a way to deal with mental health in rap. 7evin7
As an alcoholic alcoholism 100% should not be romanticized. That said, full blown insomnia is absolutely hellish and I do sympathize with those so desperate to get some kind of sleep, even the alcohol induced shitty kind, that they turn to drink. superfurrykylos
Memories....
GiphyI've learnt that Nostalgia is toxic. You only remember the good parts. You forget why you chose to get out. amitnagpal1985
Is there an antonym for nostalgia? Not for being positive about the future, but for only remembering bad stuff? UnculturedLout
Objection!
Don't romanticize toxic relationships. Or relationships of any kind that don't benefit either of the parties. Both people in a relationship need to be comfortable and happy with one another— otherwise it's a s**t show. Shyn_exe
Just Sad.
Depression and suicide. Its not charming, its not poetic. It sucks and is not cool. Danni_dude23
There is this secret on "post secret" where a teacher wrote a poem that starts with "f**k the poets of the past, my friend. There are no beautiful suicides. Just cold corpses with crap in their pants and the end of all gifts." These lines need to be read by anyone who thinks Suicide is in any way a cool thing or a glamorous thing. BetsyZZZ
Be Alone.
Being overly busy/committing to everything someone asks for.
People who have things/activities every night and weekend stress me out.
Be at peace, just learn to be at peace. hisspaceprincess
Rocky is not a life goal.
Fighting... it's not cool getting almost killed and left with several inner bleedings. JonathanTheZero
This. Everyone acts like a concussion is a normal thing, and shouldn't be taken seriously. My best friend hit her head a week ago. When she woke up, she asked who I was. I'm not sure she'll ever get her memories back fully, and her teachers don't seem to believe her, because it's "just" a concussion. myriidabit
You're Mine!
Possessive behavior.
No, it's not cute when your SO gets jealous because of everyone that looks at you; it's fricking sick. I mean, honestly, if you don't trust me enough to know I would not cheat on you we should see other people. goldfishhate
Stay Calm.
Anxiety. I'm sure someone else has already said this but it can be said again. People on the internet seem to think it's some kind of "trend" to have anxiety and panic attacks and they throw terms around like it's nothing. Anxiety isn't a joke and it isn't something people should claim to have without any reason other than that they feel stressed out. (Also, I totally understand that there are plenty of people on the internet who really do have anxiety, but I've seen my fair share of people who are very clearly faking it). shiinymoth
Answer the Call...
GiphyWAR! caler733
I have seen so many advertisements for the US military lately. They all look like Call of Duty commercials. flpacsnr
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
