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Retail Workers Share Desperate Scams Customers Tried To Pull On Them

"Don't try to pull a fast one on me."

Retail Workers Share Desperate Scams Customers Tried To Pull On Them
https://pixabay.com/en/shopping-mall-store-retail-center-509536/

It takes a lot of guts to try and pull one over on retail people. First, you're assuming to speak to a complete dunces on the other side of the phone and/or service counter. Second, if the first isn't true, you're still presuming to know the ins and outs of that employee's job better than they do. Enough to get away with a crime, that is. Most of these instances lead to ridicule and shame for the customer in question.

Perfect for us, dear reader.


Reddit user, u/RSTLNE3MCAAV, wanted to know about the lamest cons a customer tried when they asked:

Retail workers of Reddit, what is the most desperate scam a customer has tried to pull on you?

"No, I Promise I Paid For These..."

A favorite moment from my old retail days. Customer walks into store and grabs two HP ink cartridges off the ink wall. Walks to the register with an old receipt and says "I want to return these".

Yeah... he was that stupid. I saw him walk in, and the cartridges were still in the security cases.

I called my manager and said "The Brinks guy is pulling up" (our code for "got a criminal customer"). He came running up to his office and dialed the cops real quick, then he walked up to the register. A few minutes pass while he is pretending to do a fake return, and the cops come walking in.

We point at the guy, and out come the handcuffs. F-cking moron.

binary_savior

"I Swear I Bought This ENTIRE Roll..."

Years ago I worked at a small hardware store where they were constantly getting huge rolls of copper wire stolen. One day this guy and his girlfriend come in to return a roll. I was a few months in on the returns counter. They had no receipt and when I scanned the item for the return it was only doing the price per foot. I couldn't figure out how to get the sku or the price for the whole roll.

Called the manager and he comes out and right away knows there's no way these people bought a roll and returned it. So he asks when they bought it and they say two weeks ago ( the common response ) and my manager tells them "oh really because the last time we sold an entire roll was over 3 months ago" the guy starts to get brave and tells him "so you're saying I stole it?!" And my manager says yes.

They end up leaving and left the roll behind. Before they leave the store the guy says "I'm coming back and bringing the cops" manager says "go ahead that way you can explain to them how you stole the roll"

celesticaxxz

"Sir, This Is Is A Legit Paper Credit Card..."

I used to work a game store a little more than 10 years ago. Once had a woman come in dressed fairly trendy and ask for 2 PlayStation Portables (PSP), 2 Xbox 360s, and a handful of games and accessories. My store was pretty slow so this would be a pretty big sale for the day and I was excited about it.

She goes to pay and hands me a credit card which was not laminated and appeared to be printed out on a home color printer. I told her it wouldn't work and she said just scan it anyway. So I scanned her fake credit card which clearly did not have a magnetic strip and it didn't work (of course). She told me to just "put the numbers in" on the computer. I refused and she asked why, seemingly legitimately confused. I told her I just couldn't.

She told me she would be back with cash. I put everything back on the shelves. She did not return.

RudgerZ

"No, Really, It Came Out Of The Box Like This..."

Sold a guy a phone years ago when I worked for a wireless carrier. Spent an hour getting all his information transferred and set up his new phone. He comes in the next day with a shattered screen. Apparently he didn't remember that I was the rep who helped him and proceeded to tell me that is how it looked when he left the store. Needless to say the phone was not replaced.

Valhallan1984

"Wait, Chickens Aren't Supposed To Look Like This...?"

A woman came in, grabbed an herb-roasted rotisserie chicken, moseyed over to the casual seating, ate 85% of it with her bare hands, then brought the carcass to customer service and tried to return it.

Perschnickity

"Trust Me, I Know The Owner Better Than Their Own Daughter..."

We don't deliver the pizzas we make, it's carryout only. Had a customer call and have a long/angry conversation with me because I wouldn't deliver to her.

She proceeds to say (a couple times) "you must be new here. I know the owner personally", to which I responded "well I'm the owners daughter and we don't deliver".

schweinerneer13

"I Promise, It's Just A Prank On My Son..."

...someone calling wanting to know if we had spare empty boxes for Xbox consoles, because he 'wanted to prank his kid and give him an empty box'.

I know very well he wanted to try to stuff the box with who knows what, and attempt a return.

Of course, the folks at customer service check such boxes for actual product, and match serials to those on the box.

Euchre

"Good Madame, These Are All For My Son..."

A guy comes in to fill his sons aderall script. Guy is super twitchy and son is chill as could be. For all controls we are supposed to run a report that shows every where in the state they have filled any. Of course the report is a mess, multiple pharmacys, multiple scripts, multiple doctors, all the red flags. To top it off an aderall script within that week had been filled so we really couldnt fill this one.

Dad comes back we tell him that we cant fill it and dad starts going on about how his wife must have filled it but they need some for today blah blah blah. We decline and his last words to us are 'my son needs them for a birthday he has to go to today cant you help?'

No dude we cant help. You're clearly taking your sons pills, get help and stop using your son to get high on prescription drugs.

moogula1992

Honestly, This One Feels Like The Store's Fault

Had a customer return a vacuum cleaner once, my supervisor did the return thankfully. The box went back on the floor unchecked.

The next customer who wanted to buy it checked it out before they went to the register.

The whole f-cking thing had been replaced with a catering size tin of beetroot.

DaisyDee85

"I Swear, I Left It In The Twin Towers..."

September 12, 2001. USA.

A guy in Spartanburg South Carolina calls and says that his weed trimmer was in the twin towers in NYC the day before and got destroyed by terrorists.

And demanded I replace it under warranty.

Nightmare_Gerbil

H/T: Reddit

Medical No No

Someone tried to alter their Adderall script so they would get a year's supply. (Doctors cannot write more than a three month supply by law). We took the script and called the doctor to report the fraud. The patient got a black mark in his medical record in the Pharmacy and the Dr. Office. Now every script that is sent over comes with a disclaimer stating this person has tried to alter scripts.

businesscasual87

That's a Job


Idiot comes in with a coupon for a free iPod. Fine print says "Guaranteed and payable by Bill Gates". I asked why would Bill Gates guarantee and Apple product. Idiot left.

coydog33

No Freebees 

That's almost as good as the guy with the giant photocopy of his ID, with the real ID number replaced with a badly hand written number. He was trying to open a new cell phone account, and get a fistful of lines with free phones. I stopped at telling him I can't accept copies of IDs, and said "If I have to tell you what else is wrong here, I'll have to call the police."

Euchre

Should Have Stayed In Bed

The store was open until midnight the two last nights of the financial year calendar. Apparently the store thought someone might come in at 11:59 the last chance they had to deck out their entire office with new laptops and chairs and shit. After about 9pm the store was pretty much a complete ghost town. By 10pm-11pm the store was the cleanest it ever was since it was built.

On this one night the phone rang at about 11:30pm. The guy wanted to know if we were still open because he wanted to buy something specific. It turned out we had it in stock and he told me - several times - that he was going to get out of his pyjamas, get dressed and come down to the store. I was, like, "Sure. The item will be at the front counter whenever you're here to collect it."

So he turns up and tells me again that he had to get out of his pyjamas, get dressed and come down to the store to pick up this item. It was about 11:45pm by this point and so I just told him how much it was going to cost and then he asked for a discount. I said "Why?" he said "For being your last customer of the evening!"

I told him no, there's no reason for giving out that kind of a discount and besides, we weren't closed yet. There might be other customers, you know. He might not have been the last one that night and besides, it costs what it costs. He told me again that he had to get out of his pyjamas, get dressed and come to the store to buy this item.

He paid full price for all his troubles

Mr_A

Police Escort 

Kmart returns counter, had a guy try to return a CD (with receipt). The shrink wrap had been sliced and the CD taken out. He claimed it was like that when he bought it. I told him I couldn't return it for cash but could swap it for the same thing. He went to get a new CD and brought some other artist. Told him it had to be the exact same thing. I had the electronics employee bring up the right CD. As I checked that they were the same and told him I would give him a new one, a smile grew on his face... which quickly melted away when I took out a knife and cut open the plastic on the CD. No, you can't return that one later.

Another scammer that I actually caught was this guy who was paralysed on the left half of his body. He walked slowly around the store, dropping stuff and drooling. (Never did find out if he was actually paralysed or just part of the scam) One day I caught him bagging Oxy-Clean in his cart. Notified LP and she watched him. He went through self checkout and told me he bought the Oxy-Clean in electronics. LP called electronics, no such sale was made. I think she let him go that time but the next time he came in, he got a police escort.

This one was an insider job. This guy who worked in electronics also did layaway. One of the service desk girls would put a giant bag of dog food in layaway. Then the electronics guy would empty the bag and fill it with expensive electronics. Turns out they had been getting away with this for years then the LP staff changed and the new lady knew how to police the place.

The Best Pickup Lines Of All Time

A Redditor asked: 'what's the best pickup line of all time?'

shallow photography of man hugging woman outdoors
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.

I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."

Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.

I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:

"What's the best pickup line of all time?"

Read It And See

"You put the sexy in dyslexic."

– koookyko

"This made me laugh so hard."

"Because I can read properly."

– TappedIn2111

I'm Hooked

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"

"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”

"And I say “yes.""

"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."

"I said, “Check please bartender!!""

"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

– reb678

Statistics

"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."

– AlfheimKitteh

"Math is always super sexy."

– Acceptable-News-6811

Money, Money, Money

"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."

– onemanwolfpack21

"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."

– kkirchhoff

Winner, Winner

""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""

"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"

– PRSHZ

One Liners

"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."

– Starry_Night-

"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

– Slainna

"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"

"(My name is Harley) 😁"

– OMNIxvTRIX

No Losers

"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

– SchemePale6222

"I got blue screen in my head."

"Explain please."

– TastyToothpasta

"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."

"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."

– Steeze_Schralper6968

Clever

"My go-to was always:"

"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"

"A little corny, but it usually worked."

– StuffToday

Refreshing

"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."

"-Hey, do you like water?"

"-Yes."

"-Then you like me in 70% already."

– azurskyy

Sneaky

"Would you date a complete stranger?"

"If she says “yes” you’re in."

If she says “no.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"

– Blastspark01

Playing Coy

"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."

"I asked her who and she said “Me.""

– evil_boy4life

Prop Lines

"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"

"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"

– cannibalcats

Egg-cellent

"Best one that worked for me was:"

"Me: How do you like your eggs?"

"Her: Over easy, why?"

"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."

– Radiant_Boss4342

The Best Line

"How you doin?"

– 2x4x93

"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"

– JohnsLong_Silver

That line would definitely work on me!

United States political map
Clay Banks on Unsplash

Twenty years ago, a question about politics and dating might have elicited very different answers.

But a large part of the United States seems to be getting more radicalized and more polarized.

While two decades ago most liberal versus conservative differences in the United States were about government size or spending, now it's about who has a right to exist or have body autonomy.

Keep reading...Show less
Man peeking through window blinds
Photo by Chris Nguyen on Unsplash

Let's be honest: It's 2023, and times are pretty hard for most of us. We're all just out here, trying to do our best.

But while our instincts sometimes really save our butts, there are other times that our curiosity and impulses might get carried away.

In fact, they might get so carried away, we might find ourselves in some deep, deep trouble.

Redditor Mr_Manta asked:

"How has morbid curiosity screwed you over?"

A Troubling Find

"I found a human femur when I was a teenager and decided to take it home and hide it so I could inspect it."

"I was on exchange in Spain at the time. I didn’t know what to do with it after I brought it home, so like an id**t, I put it in my luggage five weeks later when I flew back home to my family."

"Airport security and I had really, really, really, really, really long talk."

"Edit: To answer all your questions, my friend and I had taken a walk to some cemetery in a roadside town. The population was 81. We thought the town had been abandoned, by the looks of it. We were dumb kids."

"We went to the cemetery and into some abandoned mausoleum. In it were So. Many. Bones. I grabbed a femur cause I was a 15-year-old who loved biology. I took it. That wasn’t cool."

- cowsmilk1994

What in the Pink Floyd...

"I Googled my estranged father's name and found out he died of an overdose, and they turned his cremains into a brick for a homeless memorial wall."

- Planet_Ziltoidia

Not a Smart Google Search

"I once Googled Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment. I wanted to see his furniture and stuff. That is NOT what I saw..."

- Efficient-Regular-96

Emergency Medical Technician Troubles

"I work as an EMT, a young EMT so obviously, I’m curious when someone says someone is dead."

"If you are a new EMT, don’t be curious; there isn’t anything good to see just major trauma."

- Individual-Estate758

Accidental Pepper Spray

"I thought this cool lighter was on a keychain, so I pressed the button. Turns out that cool lighter was pepper spray."

- copsdoesntstarttill4

The Horrors of Fire

"From the news: 'The Station nightclub fire occurred on the evening of February 20, 2003, at The Station, a nightclub and hard rock music venue in West Warwick, Rhode Island, United States, killing 100 people and injuring 230.' During a concert by the rock band Great White, a pyrotechnic display ignited flammable acoustic foam in the walls and ceilings surrounding the stage. Within six minutes, the entire building was engulfed in flames.'"

"There is a video shot by a cameraman from a local news outlet showing the start of the fire and approximately 13 minutes of heartbreak as the fire completely engulfed the building. As he circled the building he tried to open doors and call out to let people know that there was a way out, but the smoke was incredibly thick, and all you heard was screaming."

"The part that haunts me the most was the double doors at the front of the building, where people trying to escape were piled like wood in the doorway- one on top of another - people trying to free them couldn’t and eventually had to back off because of the fire. The video ends with the cameraman breaking down as emergency services finally arrived."

- Hot-Bandicoot8066

The Power of Electricity

"As a kid, I knew that you needed two wires for electricity to power an appliance. So I thought it would be a cool idea to let the electricity flow freely from one hole of a power outlet to the other, so I bent a wire in a U-shape and plugged it in."

"With my bare hands. At school, I believe in first grade. 220 Volt network. There was a flash, and I got thrown back, but thought nothing of it until some teachers came running and I got a lecture or two about safety."

- zedman_forever

A Recurring Mistake

"I found a memory card at work (retail). It sat on our desk for over two weeks. One day curiosity won and I stuck it in my phone."

"Memes, pics of family, and old man and old lady intimate parts."

"Then Google surprised me a few years later because it had uploaded them to my Google Drive."

- Itchy_Amphibian3883

Too Close to Home

"Finding out exactly where my dad died. He died in a car accident but I was never sure quite where it happened. I stupidly looked it up and found out it was right by where I lived and even drove past that exact spot plenty of times."

"Yeah, needless to say that did me way more psychological harm than good. I couldn’t handle it. Avoid that area at all costs. My husband got a job out of state and I was happy to move there just so I couldn’t be traumatized by living by that spot anymore."

- ZestyCloseTomato555

All Equal Deaths

"I killed a Rollie pollie when I was little and I still feel terrible about it."

- DoomSayerNih

Fair Enough

"Opening this thread and reading is officially at the top."

- Special_Lemon1487

Most of these entries were absolutely mortifying, and they remind us to be careful about what we're getting ourselves into, even if we're curious.

Otherwise, it can lead to terrible injuries if not terrible memories, which might even be worse, because they're so impossible to forget.

Man enjoying sangria solo
Sangria Señorial/Unsplash

When the cat's away, the mice will play.

That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.

In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.

Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:

"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"

Some people are happy to take up extra space.

Spacious Parking

"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."

– starkpaella

"Genius answer. It always brings joy."

– Heynicejobtoday

Hush

"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."

– 2workigo

"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."

– jaybeeg

Bed Positions

"Sleeping on the diagonal."

– snogweasel

"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."

– downvotingprofile

Quiet Viewing

"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."

– PheonixKernow

These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.

Taste In The Finer Things

"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."

"It’s the little things. 😂"

– aizzo4

All Mine

"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."

– missag_2490

Cheers

"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."

– Tom__mm

"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."

– JLHuston

Screen Time

"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."

– sexrockandroll

"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."

"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."

"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."

– Big-Mine9790

To each his/her/their own.

The Organizer

"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."

– Dependent_Top_4425

"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"

"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."

– Individual-Army811

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."

– holographoc

Establishing Order

"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."

"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."

– Lyeta1_1

When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.

He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.

Which is all well and good.

But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.