It takes a lot of guts to try and pull one over on retail people. First, you're assuming to speak to a complete dunces on the other side of the phone and/or service counter. Second, if the first isn't true, you're still presuming to know the ins and outs of that employee's job better than they do. Enough to get away with a crime, that is. Most of these instances lead to ridicule and shame for the customer in question.
Perfect for us, dear reader.
Reddit user, u/RSTLNE3MCAAV, wanted to know about the lamest cons a customer tried when they asked:
Retail workers of Reddit, what is the most desperate scam a customer has tried to pull on you?
"No, I Promise I Paid For These..."
A favorite moment from my old retail days. Customer walks into store and grabs two HP ink cartridges off the ink wall. Walks to the register with an old receipt and says "I want to return these".
Yeah... he was that stupid. I saw him walk in, and the cartridges were still in the security cases.
I called my manager and said "The Brinks guy is pulling up" (our code for "got a criminal customer"). He came running up to his office and dialed the cops real quick, then he walked up to the register. A few minutes pass while he is pretending to do a fake return, and the cops come walking in.
We point at the guy, and out come the handcuffs. F-cking moron.
"I Swear I Bought This ENTIRE Roll..."
Years ago I worked at a small hardware store where they were constantly getting huge rolls of copper wire stolen. One day this guy and his girlfriend come in to return a roll. I was a few months in on the returns counter. They had no receipt and when I scanned the item for the return it was only doing the price per foot. I couldn't figure out how to get the sku or the price for the whole roll.
Called the manager and he comes out and right away knows there's no way these people bought a roll and returned it. So he asks when they bought it and they say two weeks ago ( the common response ) and my manager tells them "oh really because the last time we sold an entire roll was over 3 months ago" the guy starts to get brave and tells him "so you're saying I stole it?!" And my manager says yes.
They end up leaving and left the roll behind. Before they leave the store the guy says "I'm coming back and bringing the cops" manager says "go ahead that way you can explain to them how you stole the roll"
"Sir, This Is Is A Legit Paper Credit Card..."
I used to work a game store a little more than 10 years ago. Once had a woman come in dressed fairly trendy and ask for 2 PlayStation Portables (PSP), 2 Xbox 360s, and a handful of games and accessories. My store was pretty slow so this would be a pretty big sale for the day and I was excited about it.
She goes to pay and hands me a credit card which was not laminated and appeared to be printed out on a home color printer. I told her it wouldn't work and she said just scan it anyway. So I scanned her fake credit card which clearly did not have a magnetic strip and it didn't work (of course). She told me to just "put the numbers in" on the computer. I refused and she asked why, seemingly legitimately confused. I told her I just couldn't.
She told me she would be back with cash. I put everything back on the shelves. She did not return.
"No, Really, It Came Out Of The Box Like This..."
Sold a guy a phone years ago when I worked for a wireless carrier. Spent an hour getting all his information transferred and set up his new phone. He comes in the next day with a shattered screen. Apparently he didn't remember that I was the rep who helped him and proceeded to tell me that is how it looked when he left the store. Needless to say the phone was not replaced.
"Wait, Chickens Aren't Supposed To Look Like This...?"
A woman came in, grabbed an herb-roasted rotisserie chicken, moseyed over to the casual seating, ate 85% of it with her bare hands, then brought the carcass to customer service and tried to return it.
"Trust Me, I Know The Owner Better Than Their Own Daughter..."
We don't deliver the pizzas we make, it's carryout only. Had a customer call and have a long/angry conversation with me because I wouldn't deliver to her.
She proceeds to say (a couple times) "you must be new here. I know the owner personally", to which I responded "well I'm the owners daughter and we don't deliver".
"I Promise, It's Just A Prank On My Son..."
...someone calling wanting to know if we had spare empty boxes for Xbox consoles, because he 'wanted to prank his kid and give him an empty box'.
I know very well he wanted to try to stuff the box with who knows what, and attempt a return.
Of course, the folks at customer service check such boxes for actual product, and match serials to those on the box.
"Good Madame, These Are All For My Son..."
A guy comes in to fill his sons aderall script. Guy is super twitchy and son is chill as could be. For all controls we are supposed to run a report that shows every where in the state they have filled any. Of course the report is a mess, multiple pharmacys, multiple scripts, multiple doctors, all the red flags. To top it off an aderall script within that week had been filled so we really couldnt fill this one.
Dad comes back we tell him that we cant fill it and dad starts going on about how his wife must have filled it but they need some for today blah blah blah. We decline and his last words to us are 'my son needs them for a birthday he has to go to today cant you help?'
No dude we cant help. You're clearly taking your sons pills, get help and stop using your son to get high on prescription drugs.
Honestly, This One Feels Like The Store's Fault
Had a customer return a vacuum cleaner once, my supervisor did the return thankfully. The box went back on the floor unchecked.
The next customer who wanted to buy it checked it out before they went to the register.
The whole f-cking thing had been replaced with a catering size tin of beetroot.
"I Swear, I Left It In The Twin Towers..."
September 12, 2001. USA.
A guy in Spartanburg South Carolina calls and says that his weed trimmer was in the twin towers in NYC the day before and got destroyed by terrorists.
And demanded I replace it under warranty.
Medical No No
Someone tried to alter their Adderall script so they would get a year's supply. (Doctors cannot write more than a three month supply by law). We took the script and called the doctor to report the fraud. The patient got a black mark in his medical record in the Pharmacy and the Dr. Office. Now every script that is sent over comes with a disclaimer stating this person has tried to alter scripts.
That's a Job
Idiot comes in with a coupon for a free iPod. Fine print says "Guaranteed and payable by Bill Gates". I asked why would Bill Gates guarantee and Apple product. Idiot left.
That's almost as good as the guy with the giant photocopy of his ID, with the real ID number replaced with a badly hand written number. He was trying to open a new cell phone account, and get a fistful of lines with free phones. I stopped at telling him I can't accept copies of IDs, and said "If I have to tell you what else is wrong here, I'll have to call the police."
Should Have Stayed In Bed
The store was open until midnight the two last nights of the financial year calendar. Apparently the store thought someone might come in at 11:59 the last chance they had to deck out their entire office with new laptops and chairs and shit. After about 9pm the store was pretty much a complete ghost town. By 10pm-11pm the store was the cleanest it ever was since it was built.
On this one night the phone rang at about 11:30pm. The guy wanted to know if we were still open because he wanted to buy something specific. It turned out we had it in stock and he told me - several times - that he was going to get out of his pyjamas, get dressed and come down to the store. I was, like, "Sure. The item will be at the front counter whenever you're here to collect it."
So he turns up and tells me again that he had to get out of his pyjamas, get dressed and come down to the store to pick up this item. It was about 11:45pm by this point and so I just told him how much it was going to cost and then he asked for a discount. I said "Why?" he said "For being your last customer of the evening!"
I told him no, there's no reason for giving out that kind of a discount and besides, we weren't closed yet. There might be other customers, you know. He might not have been the last one that night and besides, it costs what it costs. He told me again that he had to get out of his pyjamas, get dressed and come to the store to buy this item.
He paid full price for all his troubles
Kmart returns counter, had a guy try to return a CD (with receipt). The shrink wrap had been sliced and the CD taken out. He claimed it was like that when he bought it. I told him I couldn't return it for cash but could swap it for the same thing. He went to get a new CD and brought some other artist. Told him it had to be the exact same thing. I had the electronics employee bring up the right CD. As I checked that they were the same and told him I would give him a new one, a smile grew on his face... which quickly melted away when I took out a knife and cut open the plastic on the CD. No, you can't return that one later.
Another scammer that I actually caught was this guy who was paralysed on the left half of his body. He walked slowly around the store, dropping stuff and drooling. (Never did find out if he was actually paralysed or just part of the scam) One day I caught him bagging Oxy-Clean in his cart. Notified LP and she watched him. He went through self checkout and told me he bought the Oxy-Clean in electronics. LP called electronics, no such sale was made. I think she let him go that time but the next time he came in, he got a police escort.
This one was an insider job. This guy who worked in electronics also did layaway. One of the service desk girls would put a giant bag of dog food in layaway. Then the electronics guy would empty the bag and fill it with expensive electronics. Turns out they had been getting away with this for years then the LP staff changed and the new lady knew how to police the place.
Hollywood really has made a mess of entertainment and storytelling.
And it doesn't have to be that way.
There are so many people with new, fresh ideas, yet they choose to keep redoing the same old. concepts.
The people want more and better and it is possible
Nobody needs 167 sequels done poorly!
Redditor MainCrab1383 wanted the entertainment industry to listen up!!
"What do you wish Hollywood would stop doing?"
I wish they would give more chances unknowns. Every known starts an unknown, you know.
It was already great!Behind The Scenes GIF by BET AwardsGiphy
"Remakes of good movies, I don’t understand why they remake good movies, when there are tons of flops that have potential, that they could remake."
"Characters getting punched multiple times in the face in 1 scene and having no signs of the trauma in the next scene."
"Or shot, but they remove the bullet in a dirty motel and sew it up with freaking twine and knitting needles so now it doesn’t hurt anymore and they can go fight more bad guys unencumbered."
"This reminded me of characters getting absolutely wasted then either being relatively sober in the next scene, or have no hangover the day after."
"Stop making films and TV shows that we cannot see because they are too dark and cannot hear what TF people are saying. That would be a good start."
"I honestly think some vfx engineers stuffed up and others thought it was a trend and continued to underexpose. Series 8 of game of Thrones was about 8 slightly diffident blank pixels running about the screen."
Fill her up!
"EMPTY CUPS. I hate seeing people holding cups and pretending to take drinks from obviously empty cups. Their hands never move right, or if it’s an open cup, you can literally see that it’s empty."
"They move their hand way too fast! It's like they don't even know they're supposed to be pretending it has liquid inside."
Not a 10Interested Saturday Night Live GIF by HULUGiphy
"Casting attractive people in ‘ugly’ roles."'
"Like when the obviously gorgeous person gets a makeover."
Casting is subjective... so they say.
Save Them!Season 5 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Showing incorrect CPR."
"Just do what the AED tells you to do. No thinking required."
"Forcing a love story that makes no sense in a movie that has nothing to do with romance."
"Long kisses in the middle of a 'we're running out of time' scene. We gotta save the world, but let me take my time to say goodbye/goodluck first."
"Long kisses after a death defying scene. Sure, kissing is what they do next."
Makes no Sense
"Having a main character whose job/income level does not match their home or lifestyle at all."
"I was about to say that Charlie’s shi**y apartment in 'It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia' is the one exception to that rule I can think of. But oddly enough his roommate, Frank, is a millionaire."
"Supposedly when they started making Big Bang Theory they tried putting them in a realistic apartment, and it made it really depressing."
"Adapting stuff into live-action movies when they should really be animated. Examples include upcoming Mega Man, Pac-Man and Minecraft movies which are ALL set to be live-action."
"I had no idea that any of these movies were in the works. Pac-Man will be half CGI, NO doubt. Going the Sonic route. Unless they literally just have it as an inspiration, and it's just a guy in yellow running away from ghosts in a labyrinth."
"Minecraft? Well, everyone will watch it, so I'm sure they don't care if it's good. But it's clearly going to focus on Steve building a nether portal and trying to kill a f**king dragon. Mega-Man? Yeah, I can see that working live action. Oh wait, it's a Netflix Original? Yeah, no. That's going to be absolute trash."
ID please?Beverly Hills 90210 90S GIFGiphy
"Casting 35 year olds as high schoolers."
"Can we add casting 16-18 year olds to play 11 year olds?! Priah Ferguson was 16 when she played 11 year old Erica Sinclair in Stranger Things season 4. WTH!?"
Lord Hollywood has a lot of work to do!
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments.
Time is not always a friend.
It can systematically destroy everything.
Or is that just humans abusing time?
Everything does degrade naturally...
"What has consistently been getting shi**ier?"
Life in general. Life has gotten worse. Not to be a downer. What happened?
Falling ApartSunny Day Help GIFGiphy
"My health as I get older. People aren’t kidding when they say 'I turned X age and started falling apart' it actually happens."
"Yeah it used to be all about sharing stuff with your friends. Now it’s all about trying to keep your eyes on it as long as possible so they can show you more ads. The social networks that are about sharing stuff and the actual content either get acquired or die."
"T-shirts. It used to be that you would get a t-shirt and it would last you literally decades. Almost more importantly in my opinion, the shirt also had some 'structure' and shape to it. Now t-shirts are thin, flimsy, and formless. I feel like I’m wearing an undershirt or a pajamas shirt."
"I should note that around the time t-shirts got sh*ttier, all the t-shirt brands started advertising 'THIS IS THE SOFTEST T-SHIRT EVER.'"
"I’m 99% sure the whole 'softness' marketing was to distract customers from the fact that the fabric got thinner and cheaper. Because although the flimsy fabric is legitimately very soft, 'this shirt is not soft enough' was never a complaint I had with old t-shirts."
"Advertisements. Not only the quality of advertisements, but frequency has skyrocketed. For example, when you watch a basketball game, these MFs put an ad in between free throw attempts. Everything is presented by Company XYZ, everything has some sort of advertisement connected to it, and it is infuriating."
Bad IdeaFast Food GIF by jjjjjohnGiphy
"Fast food. It was always bad for you, but now it doesn't taste as good either, and is more expensive, on top of being bad for you."
Remember when Burger King was only like a dollar? What happened?
DowngradeMoving Season 3 GIF by VidaGiphy
"The quality of furniture. Unless you want to spend $10k, you cant really get something that will last 50+ years."
"Halloween Decorations. Used to be able to buy metal gates, concrete/plaster tombstones, and many other creative decorations that would last you several years - maybe even decades. Now all you can get are flimsy styrofoam and plastic tombstones meant to last only one Halloween (looking at you, Spirit Halloween)."
Try to buy...
"It's ridiculous. Our rent keeps going up, so my husband just said 'Screw it, let's move in with my dad for a year or so to save.' Thankfully he was cool with it, because we seriously never have any extra to save! I don't know how people without help can do it. Rent is so expensive it's impossible to save the money needed to buy a house!"
“the old days”
"Life and perception. As i get older and learn more I consistently yearn for 'the old days' but I’m not actually yearning for old days… I’m merely wishing I could go back to when I didn’t know anything about how life and the world actually operates. Youthful perception is usually more optimistic."
Mainstream DownFound Footage Video GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphy
"Mainstream network television programing."
"I swear to God, at work, most of the crap on TV is either a mediocre drama show about a government organization or firefighters, cringe a** news stations like Inside Edition, game shows or generic 'talk' shows that feel more like advertisements."
Oh, the good ole days. What happened?
When it comes to naming children, there are all kinds of different approaches.
Some parents like to honor the legacy of a late relative, while there are those who prefer naming their baby after a revered fictional character–"Luke" (Skywalker) being one of them.
But let's be honest. Baby naming can get way out of hand, and it's the child who becomes a victim by having to live with a name they might get teased for...like "Blanket."
Curious to hear examples of what some of those might be, Redditor Sarah_Trekkie asked:
"What are some of the craziest baby names you’ve personally been witness to?"
Pity these children with these unfortunate names.
The Three Hs
"Well they weren't babies, but at the summer camp where I worked this summer. 3 brothers: Honor, Heritage, and believe it or not, Henceforth. I felt a little bad for those kids."
"The manager at a shop near me is named Goodenough."
In Case You Missed It A Second Time
"Coworker grew up with a girl named Kelly Kelly Kelly."
"Jam Metallica for a baby girl."
Drugs and babies just shouldn't mix.
"I work in child welfare and it’s actually more common than you would think for someone to name their child after a drug or strand of drug they were using at the time. So with that information, MF Pitbull and Knucklehead were the two that I saw that were pretty bad. Another sad fact is when a child is immediately removed from a family (they have already been proven not to be fit parents) they’ll give them the name Baby Boy/Girl or Infant until they’re adopted."
"Edit: at the time = time of conception"
"Edit edit: 'they' as in the nursing staff, the birth parents often aren’t coherent enough or don’t care to give a name."
Out With The Old In With The New
"I summer nannied for two kids, siblings who had been adopted by a wonderful woman who immediately changed their given names, which were Crystal and Rocky."
"Edited to add that both babies were born addicted to meth. Forgot that little nugget."
It gets worse.
Going By A Gender
"Boy. True story."
What A Pair
"Noodles and papoose."
"I heard these 2 magical names uttered in a single sentence by a woman. 'Noodles! Put papoose down!'"
"Thunderbird, Winter Star, Rainbow, Baby Girl."
"Culturally not that weird, but day to day life outside of the Rez, strong names to live with."
"I met a young man named Jor-El."
"Yes, as in Jor-El, father of Kal-El who became Superman on Earth."
"Were they a clone?"
"Nah, just a carbon copy."
The Pressure Is On
"I was at the park with my nephew last week and a woman started calling for her son to get off the swings. His name was Messiah. That seems like a lot to live up to!"
I would have to say one of the craziest names I've heard of was Otis Payne.
The names individually are actually pretty cool, but when you slap them together and say the full name, well, I can only imagine the amount of jokes this person had to endure.
He probably lost track of the number of times they saw someone doubling over in fake distress–clenching at a problematic part of their body–and saying his full name in jest.
We get it, we get it, "Oh this pain!"
With so many streaming platforms and too many recommendations to watch your friends' favorite shows, how do you prioritize what shows to watch?
Those who can afford to sit in front of the TV all day–because that is the commitment it takes to start making a dent in your viewing playlist–must choose wisely in determining which shows to start binging.
If a show fails to grab your attention from the get go, you might be prone to ditch it and go on to the next one on the list.
The risk of course is you might be missing out on something that is worth sitting through the slow-burn, exposition-y episodes of a show that is trying to establish itself at the beginning but becomes wildly rewarding towards the end.
But who has time for all that?
Apparently, there were many TV show viewers whose patience ran thin.
To find out what shows strangers online thought was not worth their time, Redditor itsamu asked:
"What TV series isn't worth finishing?"
You would think fantasy and action shows can sustain your attention, but they're not all created the same.
Not Having The Time For This One
"Once upon a time. It literally repeats the entire first season’s plot."
"I'm the fastest man alive. Except for the main villain of this season. And the random guy I'm chasing who escaped around the corner of the building, despite the fact I can search an entire square mile in under a minute. Nah, he's gone, no need to check."
One Strong Season
"Heroes. Watch the first season, and then stop."
Can't Kill What's Already Dead
"The walking dead, gave up a while ago. Don't even know if it has finished or not yet."
The Outlook Was Already...
"Grimm. Started off so good, just got worse and worse and worse."
Getting Straight To The Point
"Arrow. It ends at season 2, ya hear me? SEASON TWO!"
Many Redditors recommended cutting the length of a TV season by half.
Wrap It Up
"We really should have more limited series. Some shows have premises that are good for a season or two that get ruined by dragging it out for multiple seasons."
The Brits Get It
"Watch more British shows. Fewer episodes generally so they don’t as often run out of ideas or go off the rails. Fleabag for example, two perfect seasons and done."
Even people who enjoy the pacing of dramas found some in the genre quite tedious.
That Final Season
"House of cards. Just stop watching on the last episode of the penultimate season and pretend the last one is still in the works. The last season is insulting on so many levels."
You Gotta Be Toking
"Weeds. Good for the first three seasons or so. Really f'king comes off the rails after that."
They May Have A Case Here
"Suits. It becomes very repetitive after a while."
"Worst Finale Ever"
"The last couple seasons of Castle were garbage. The finale was the worst finale in the history of finales. Yes even worst than GoT and HIMYM. Such a disgrace for a show that used to be cute, fun and sharply written. I can’t even bring myself to watch marathons when they are on and it was one of my favorite shows when it first started."
I'm probably in the minority here but I had to give up on Game of Thrones by the end of its first season.
I think I was expecting more fantasy and dragons straight away, but as I waited for more action, I found myself losing interest in the characters and patience in keeping track of who was related to whom.
So I put a pin in it and started watching other shows.
When I heard about fans complaining about the letdown of an ending, that was enough for me to remove it from my list permanently.
Hey, to each their own.