Rule #1... the customer IS NOT always right! Something seems to happen to people when they are in the throws of a customer service excursion, they turn into psychos half the time. Being a civilized human being is a life basic. You don't get to take out your issues on others, especially on innocents who are merely trying to make an honest living.
Redditor u/Tdog454 wanted retail employees to commiserate with us asking.... Retail workers of Reddit, what was your 'GET THE FUCK OUT' experience with a customer?
Two women came into the store screaming at each other. As I'm coming out from the back, I gather from the yelling that one had nearly hit the other's car. Nearly, but no actually incident had occurred. It was a busy Saturday, people are starting to stare. I'm trying to gather my wits, thinking how best to handle it, when my manager came flying in from nowhere. She just yells, "Either come in here and shop like people or go outside with the rest of the animals!" One left, one stayed. Triangle_Graph
I worked in a T-Mobile store. A lady comes in screaming about how she bought a phone the previous day, didn't buy insurance and dropped it in a pool. She was demanding I give her a new phone for free. But, she wasn't even our customer. She was a Verizon customer. She screamed at me for about ten minutes demanding I call our manager. She then started yelling at other customers about how awful we were. Called the cops. Lucasaurusawesome
God Bless Radioshack workers....
Worked at Radioshack for 6 months while in college. Pretty much had at least one terrible experience per shift.
The one that stands out the most was a guy who wanted us to honor the warranty on his iPhone cable. The thing was a mutilated mess. It had clearly stopped working and he had tried to fix it himself by cutting the cable apart and attempting to solder two wires together.
We calmly explained that we couldn't process a claim for an item that was willfully destroyed, and he starts screaming in our faces about how "Radioshack is a scam!" and "I'm going to sue all of you!" And then he tries to WHIP my coworker (a 5 ft tall non-threatening woman) with the cable! She managed to turn her head and catch the wire with her hand before it caught her in the face. Myself and another employee chased him out of the store and called the police but nothing came of it.
Read my eyes....Giphy
When I worked in the tool department at Sears, a guy wanted to get a replacement on his tape measure. I couldn't replace it because it was the tape that was screwed up due to the guy mistreating it and not caring cause "Sears will replace it for free."
Dude threatened to go out to his truck and get his gun, come back in and "shoot you points at me, you points at my manager who had taken over already, and you points at my coworker who was standing nearby."
I gave him the "why haven't you done it yet?" look and he left. When I worked at sears, I was ready to die. AnalLeaseHolder
Had a toy collector bully a child for the last popular children's toy we had in stock. Like dude, we aren't the only toy store here and yelling at a 7 year old for a toy makes you look bad in any accounts.
Banned him from our store and he keeps coming back but we got one guy to deal with him, he's not easy miss at all, nearing 400 pounds and looking like that Warcraft player from South Park. illogicalfuturity
When the old guy I was serving kept looking at my chest and making creepy facial expressions, I asked him if he wanted a drink or he was just going to keep staring. He excitedly put his hands out and went 'oh, I can do more than stare!' and tried to walk behind the bar to grab my chest. I told him to get the hell out, to which he seemed very shocked and outraged so I just started to loudly shout back to him 'sir, please do not try to grope my chest. You need to leave' over and over until the rest of the bar was staring and he was panicked, whispering for me to please be quiet. So the wife I didn't know he came with wouldn't hear him. Can only imagine the argument that unfolded while she was dragging him out. orangelego
You've lost more than a receipt!
It couldn't have been more obvious that a guy was trying to return stolen merchandise. He "lost" the receipt, didn't know when it was purchased, paid with cash so we couldn't just easily look up the transaction on a credit card.
He said he would call his friend to ask if they knew when it was purchased, and then he took out his iPhone and without pressing a button started to talk on it. I was like... I can clearly see the home screen with no call happening.
When he "got off the phone" I got a little bold and in my best retail manager voice said something to the effect of, "oh that's cool! Is that a new update where you can talk to someone without actually calling them?" He left after that. gsg4n1
Not here Satan!
I had a customer who used a racial slur to describe one of my employees for no other reason beyond the fact that he saw them and was offended that "one of them" was doing their job by doing the oil change that he came to us to do. I told him to apologize to my employee or we will push his car right out of the bay without oil. He refused, and we did just that. Told him he's more than welcome to buy his own oil and finish his oil change himself, and that he will be charged double for all services here on out if he comes into my store.
I had no problem telling this racist jack@ss to go f**k himself. LuciditySam
I WILL BE 'TATTOOED!'Giphy
I used to work the reception desk at a tattoo shop. I had MANY gtfo moments but the one that stands out was a dude coming in with his girlfriend to get his name tattooed on her. She looked terrified, wouldn't make eye contact with me, didn't talk directly to me, and barely spoke. The whole conversation was the dude giving me her license and saying "SHE wants MY name tattooed on to her." I took way more info from both of them than I needed and tried to get the woman to come in back alone so I could talk to her, but boyfriend wouldn't have it. I eventually went back and got the shop manager (big dude) and told him what was up. I came back to the counter and lied saying we didn't have walk-ins that day and dude got pissed. I started yelling, shop manager came out and physically removed them from the shop. I called the cops and provided all the info I had. Was basically told they couldn't do anything unless it was self-reported. I still think about the woman all the time.
Was basically told they couldn't do anything unless it was self-reported. I still think about the woman all the time. killersim
No McDonalds for you!Giphy
I worked at McDonalds in 1997 and we had Beanie Babies as happy meal toys at one point. It was insane.
They literally had to buy a security cage to keep the toys locked down in the back. They were delivered with a security escort. People were ordering "100 happy meals with no food" because we couldn't sell the toys by themselves.
One day I heard a commotion up front and found my high school counselor reaching across the counter grabbing one of the owners by the shirt because we were out of the pink flamingo. I'll never forget the look in her eyes. She had to be dragged out. It's scary how easy it can be to work people up into a frenzy. fernyer
No drinking and Shopping!
I work in a Dutch 24/7 gas station. This German kid (20-25 yo) came in the shop drunk (while driving). Looked for beer (which we are not allowed to sell), and got all mad that I hid the beers. He wanted to start a fight and he wanted to drive off in his car.
That was impossible since I locked the door and alerted the cops. He lost his drives license and got a huge fine, which he had to pay instantly. What an a**hole. Cantinabandsong
Just Plain Cruel....
The one that jumps out to me was when a customer was trying to return a wall mount that was six months out of policy. He was being snide and verbally abusive to the customer service rep, saying things like "I know you can do this, I return stuff out of policy all the time." Or "well, if you weren't so stupid this would be done by now."
He ended up making her start to cry when he said "Jesus, are you retarded??" Well, she worked with special needs kids as a volunteer and this pushed her over the edge. I walked over to him and told her to go into the back and asked him why he thinks it's okay to talk like that. I'm guessing since I'm a male and a manager he decided to be respectful. I was pissed off beyond belief at how he'd made her cry though so I cut off his explanations and told him to get out. He said "now hold on, let's all calm down-" and I grabbed my radio piece and told my security to go ahead and get the police on the way down there for someone trespassing. He left so fast at that comment that he forgot his wall mount. Fool. Reddit
This was over the phone, the customer was unhappy with their purchase so I sent another one out to them in case it was defective. He calls me later that week saying the new one had the same problem and he would get violent if it wasn't solved. He was in his 80's but I said you know what we will come pick it up, and you can buy from somewhere else. Not worth the hassle for a little commission. mastad0420
When they try a quick change scam. Here's how it works There are many variations on it.
It happened to me once. After the transaction, something didn't feel right about it so I called my supervisor. We reviewed the security footage and I was in fact taken for $20. The guy came back two weeks later and tried it again with another employee and she was tricked as well. He came by a third time and his trick didn't work since we were all wise to it now. The owners and my supervisor immediately rushed downstairs and chased the guy for a couple of blocks. Tumbling-Dice
This Buck is for you!
I used to work for Qwik Lube in Alaska for a boss named John who was a decent manager and enjoyed handling customers. He was professional and kind and knowledgeable but LOVED to tell the couple stories of customers he told off.
The coldest move was a customer who was berating him. Customer reached out and stuffed a business card into John's shirt pocket, demanding to SEE THE BOSS RIGHT NOW. John said he took the card back out, shoved it THAT guy's pocket, and said "the buck stops here get the hell out of my shop."
I've carried that as a reminder that professionals take crap as part of their job, but nobody should take too much. any_means_necessary
No More Potato Salad!
I worked at a BBQ restaurant for my first job. We had a take out area where the customer can watch you cut the meat and pack the side dishes. The girl at the register rang up a quart of potato salad when the customer asked for pasta salad, so I pack potato salad. When the customer received his order he look through it and flipped when he saw potato salad and started screaming at me go figure. Unbeknownst to all of us the owner of the store heard the commotion and was on the other side of the swing door behind me which had a small window. The angry customer decided to throw a quart of potato salad at me which I ducked to avoid. It splattered against the window on the swing door as the owner was looking out of it. He burst through the door (he is 6'4 and very built), grabbed this scrawny dude by his shirt collar and he had straight fear in his eyes. My boss literally threw him out the door. Went back to the register to ask the girl what his totally was, grabbed the cash, and tossed it out the door at the angry customer as he was collecting himself off the ground. It was an awesome scene.
The angry customer decided to throw a quart of potato salad at me which I ducked to avoid. It splattered against the window on the swing door as the owner was looking out of it. He burst through the door (he is 6'4 and very built), grabbed this scrawny dude by his shirt collar and he had straight fear in his eyes. My boss literally threw him out the door. Went back to the register to ask the girl what his totally was, grabbed the cash, and tossed it out the door at the angry customer as he was collecting himself off the ground. It was an awesome scene. thisisinput
You're the 1!Giphy
A guy I knew who worked at Dunkin' Donuts would use the line: "my manager says I only get to tell one customer to f**k off a year, and I'm not gonna waste it on you." Not quite the the right type of answer, but relevant. Bootstrings
You're Ugly on the Inside....
He got in my face, physically, to intimidate me. When I didn't back down, he resorted to telling me I'm fat and unpleasant. All because he wanted a free replacement of a 15 year old item that he'd used to hell and back. Things is, if he'd be a normal human and not put his weasly face kissing distance from mine while yelling and spraying his spittle everywhere— I'd have worked something out for him. Instead he has a life long ban from my whole company.
Like, what made him think he could run up on me? Like that would work out for him in some way. I don't know how I had the strength not to Hit him. msblackwine
Colleague was cleaning the front of the fish tanks (pet shop) and one of them had this weird stuff on it that smeared as she wiped it. Asked me what the hell is this. It wasn't there when I was catching fish about 10 minutes ago... I have this awful realization... I go check check the cctv and sure enough I see what I knew I would see, even though I was really hoping not to. A guy masturbating on it. Onto the fish tank.
W. T. F.
I recognized him as he was hanging around earlier. Worse, I had to clean this up myself as no way did my young minimum wage colleague deserve to deal with that!!Needless to say next time he showed his face, I banned him from the store right there and then. My voice was a little loud.
TLDR: guy liked our fish a bit too much. Cleanup was required. Banning was also required. Wolfsabre
I had a customer threaten to call the cops because I wouldn't give them 50% off of a CHARITY bear on boxing day. 100% of the proceeds from these teddy bears went to the Make A Wish foundation and they were only $15. The store had a 50% off everything sale for boxing day, but it didn't include the CHARITY bears. I add capitals because it's a charity bear... it's purpose is right in the name!
I basically just kept saying "ma'am...it's a charity bear..." because I didn't know how else to explain that the point of the bear was to raise money... that seemed... obvious. People in line were starting to get really upset with her and she just started to freak right out and was starting to dial 911. My boss, so upset (she lost a son early in life to cancer so make a wish was important to her) just gave her a bear and told her to never come back. A bunch of familiar customers of ours were so upset they pitched in the $15 without us even saying anything which was super kind of them. It was a restoration of faith in humanity, but what a nightmare for no reason. Especially on boxing day! Lady_Of_The_Shadows
Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.
Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.
If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.
Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:
"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"
Let's learn from the masters!
What a common mistake!
"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."
"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."
"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."
"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."
"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."
"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."
"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."
Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.
"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."
"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"
You can't take back what you've already put in.
"You can always add, but you cannot take away."
"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."
"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."
"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."
"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."
"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"
"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."
"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."
How else will you know it tastes good?
"Taste the food."
"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."
"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."
Here's one just for laughs.
"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."
"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."
If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.
Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!
If all else fails, you can always order take out.
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As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.
One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.
Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guyChannel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.
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