Rule #1... the customer IS NOT always right! Something seems to happen to people when they are in the throws of a customer service excursion, they turn into psychos half the time. Being a civilized human being is a life basic. You don't get to take out your issues on others, especially on innocents who are merely trying to make an honest living.
Redditor u/Tdog454 wanted retail employees to commiserate with us asking.... Retail workers of Reddit, what was your 'GET THE FUCK OUT' experience with a customer?
Two women came into the store screaming at each other. As I'm coming out from the back, I gather from the yelling that one had nearly hit the other's car. Nearly, but no actually incident had occurred. It was a busy Saturday, people are starting to stare. I'm trying to gather my wits, thinking how best to handle it, when my manager came flying in from nowhere. She just yells, "Either come in here and shop like people or go outside with the rest of the animals!" One left, one stayed. Triangle_Graph
I worked in a T-Mobile store. A lady comes in screaming about how she bought a phone the previous day, didn't buy insurance and dropped it in a pool. She was demanding I give her a new phone for free. But, she wasn't even our customer. She was a Verizon customer. She screamed at me for about ten minutes demanding I call our manager. She then started yelling at other customers about how awful we were. Called the cops. Lucasaurusawesome
God Bless Radioshack workers....
Worked at Radioshack for 6 months while in college. Pretty much had at least one terrible experience per shift.
The one that stands out the most was a guy who wanted us to honor the warranty on his iPhone cable. The thing was a mutilated mess. It had clearly stopped working and he had tried to fix it himself by cutting the cable apart and attempting to solder two wires together.
We calmly explained that we couldn't process a claim for an item that was willfully destroyed, and he starts screaming in our faces about how "Radioshack is a scam!" and "I'm going to sue all of you!" And then he tries to WHIP my coworker (a 5 ft tall non-threatening woman) with the cable! She managed to turn her head and catch the wire with her hand before it caught her in the face. Myself and another employee chased him out of the store and called the police but nothing came of it.
Read my eyes....Giphy
When I worked in the tool department at Sears, a guy wanted to get a replacement on his tape measure. I couldn't replace it because it was the tape that was screwed up due to the guy mistreating it and not caring cause "Sears will replace it for free."
Dude threatened to go out to his truck and get his gun, come back in and "shoot you points at me, you points at my manager who had taken over already, and you points at my coworker who was standing nearby."
I gave him the "why haven't you done it yet?" look and he left. When I worked at sears, I was ready to die. AnalLeaseHolder
Had a toy collector bully a child for the last popular children's toy we had in stock. Like dude, we aren't the only toy store here and yelling at a 7 year old for a toy makes you look bad in any accounts.
Banned him from our store and he keeps coming back but we got one guy to deal with him, he's not easy miss at all, nearing 400 pounds and looking like that Warcraft player from South Park. illogicalfuturity
When the old guy I was serving kept looking at my chest and making creepy facial expressions, I asked him if he wanted a drink or he was just going to keep staring. He excitedly put his hands out and went 'oh, I can do more than stare!' and tried to walk behind the bar to grab my chest. I told him to get the hell out, to which he seemed very shocked and outraged so I just started to loudly shout back to him 'sir, please do not try to grope my chest. You need to leave' over and over until the rest of the bar was staring and he was panicked, whispering for me to please be quiet. So the wife I didn't know he came with wouldn't hear him. Can only imagine the argument that unfolded while she was dragging him out. orangelego
You've lost more than a receipt!
It couldn't have been more obvious that a guy was trying to return stolen merchandise. He "lost" the receipt, didn't know when it was purchased, paid with cash so we couldn't just easily look up the transaction on a credit card.
He said he would call his friend to ask if they knew when it was purchased, and then he took out his iPhone and without pressing a button started to talk on it. I was like... I can clearly see the home screen with no call happening.
When he "got off the phone" I got a little bold and in my best retail manager voice said something to the effect of, "oh that's cool! Is that a new update where you can talk to someone without actually calling them?" He left after that. gsg4n1
Not here Satan!
I had a customer who used a racial slur to describe one of my employees for no other reason beyond the fact that he saw them and was offended that "one of them" was doing their job by doing the oil change that he came to us to do. I told him to apologize to my employee or we will push his car right out of the bay without oil. He refused, and we did just that. Told him he's more than welcome to buy his own oil and finish his oil change himself, and that he will be charged double for all services here on out if he comes into my store.
I had no problem telling this racist jack@ss to go f**k himself. LuciditySam
I WILL BE 'TATTOOED!'Giphy
I used to work the reception desk at a tattoo shop. I had MANY gtfo moments but the one that stands out was a dude coming in with his girlfriend to get his name tattooed on her. She looked terrified, wouldn't make eye contact with me, didn't talk directly to me, and barely spoke. The whole conversation was the dude giving me her license and saying "SHE wants MY name tattooed on to her." I took way more info from both of them than I needed and tried to get the woman to come in back alone so I could talk to her, but boyfriend wouldn't have it. I eventually went back and got the shop manager (big dude) and told him what was up. I came back to the counter and lied saying we didn't have walk-ins that day and dude got pissed. I started yelling, shop manager came out and physically removed them from the shop. I called the cops and provided all the info I had. Was basically told they couldn't do anything unless it was self-reported. I still think about the woman all the time.
Was basically told they couldn't do anything unless it was self-reported. I still think about the woman all the time. killersim
No McDonalds for you!Giphy
I worked at McDonalds in 1997 and we had Beanie Babies as happy meal toys at one point. It was insane.
They literally had to buy a security cage to keep the toys locked down in the back. They were delivered with a security escort. People were ordering "100 happy meals with no food" because we couldn't sell the toys by themselves.
One day I heard a commotion up front and found my high school counselor reaching across the counter grabbing one of the owners by the shirt because we were out of the pink flamingo. I'll never forget the look in her eyes. She had to be dragged out. It's scary how easy it can be to work people up into a frenzy. fernyer
No drinking and Shopping!
I work in a Dutch 24/7 gas station. This German kid (20-25 yo) came in the shop drunk (while driving). Looked for beer (which we are not allowed to sell), and got all mad that I hid the beers. He wanted to start a fight and he wanted to drive off in his car.
That was impossible since I locked the door and alerted the cops. He lost his drives license and got a huge fine, which he had to pay instantly. What an a**hole. Cantinabandsong
Just Plain Cruel....
The one that jumps out to me was when a customer was trying to return a wall mount that was six months out of policy. He was being snide and verbally abusive to the customer service rep, saying things like "I know you can do this, I return stuff out of policy all the time." Or "well, if you weren't so stupid this would be done by now."
He ended up making her start to cry when he said "Jesus, are you retarded??" Well, she worked with special needs kids as a volunteer and this pushed her over the edge. I walked over to him and told her to go into the back and asked him why he thinks it's okay to talk like that. I'm guessing since I'm a male and a manager he decided to be respectful. I was pissed off beyond belief at how he'd made her cry though so I cut off his explanations and told him to get out. He said "now hold on, let's all calm down-" and I grabbed my radio piece and told my security to go ahead and get the police on the way down there for someone trespassing. He left so fast at that comment that he forgot his wall mount. Fool. Reddit
This was over the phone, the customer was unhappy with their purchase so I sent another one out to them in case it was defective. He calls me later that week saying the new one had the same problem and he would get violent if it wasn't solved. He was in his 80's but I said you know what we will come pick it up, and you can buy from somewhere else. Not worth the hassle for a little commission. mastad0420
When they try a quick change scam. Here's how it works There are many variations on it.
It happened to me once. After the transaction, something didn't feel right about it so I called my supervisor. We reviewed the security footage and I was in fact taken for $20. The guy came back two weeks later and tried it again with another employee and she was tricked as well. He came by a third time and his trick didn't work since we were all wise to it now. The owners and my supervisor immediately rushed downstairs and chased the guy for a couple of blocks. Tumbling-Dice
This Buck is for you!
I used to work for Qwik Lube in Alaska for a boss named John who was a decent manager and enjoyed handling customers. He was professional and kind and knowledgeable but LOVED to tell the couple stories of customers he told off.
The coldest move was a customer who was berating him. Customer reached out and stuffed a business card into John's shirt pocket, demanding to SEE THE BOSS RIGHT NOW. John said he took the card back out, shoved it THAT guy's pocket, and said "the buck stops here get the hell out of my shop."
I've carried that as a reminder that professionals take crap as part of their job, but nobody should take too much. any_means_necessary
No More Potato Salad!
I worked at a BBQ restaurant for my first job. We had a take out area where the customer can watch you cut the meat and pack the side dishes. The girl at the register rang up a quart of potato salad when the customer asked for pasta salad, so I pack potato salad. When the customer received his order he look through it and flipped when he saw potato salad and started screaming at me go figure. Unbeknownst to all of us the owner of the store heard the commotion and was on the other side of the swing door behind me which had a small window. The angry customer decided to throw a quart of potato salad at me which I ducked to avoid. It splattered against the window on the swing door as the owner was looking out of it. He burst through the door (he is 6'4 and very built), grabbed this scrawny dude by his shirt collar and he had straight fear in his eyes. My boss literally threw him out the door. Went back to the register to ask the girl what his totally was, grabbed the cash, and tossed it out the door at the angry customer as he was collecting himself off the ground. It was an awesome scene.
The angry customer decided to throw a quart of potato salad at me which I ducked to avoid. It splattered against the window on the swing door as the owner was looking out of it. He burst through the door (he is 6'4 and very built), grabbed this scrawny dude by his shirt collar and he had straight fear in his eyes. My boss literally threw him out the door. Went back to the register to ask the girl what his totally was, grabbed the cash, and tossed it out the door at the angry customer as he was collecting himself off the ground. It was an awesome scene. thisisinput
You're the 1!Giphy
A guy I knew who worked at Dunkin' Donuts would use the line: "my manager says I only get to tell one customer to f**k off a year, and I'm not gonna waste it on you." Not quite the the right type of answer, but relevant. Bootstrings
You're Ugly on the Inside....
He got in my face, physically, to intimidate me. When I didn't back down, he resorted to telling me I'm fat and unpleasant. All because he wanted a free replacement of a 15 year old item that he'd used to hell and back. Things is, if he'd be a normal human and not put his weasly face kissing distance from mine while yelling and spraying his spittle everywhere— I'd have worked something out for him. Instead he has a life long ban from my whole company.
Like, what made him think he could run up on me? Like that would work out for him in some way. I don't know how I had the strength not to Hit him. msblackwine
Colleague was cleaning the front of the fish tanks (pet shop) and one of them had this weird stuff on it that smeared as she wiped it. Asked me what the hell is this. It wasn't there when I was catching fish about 10 minutes ago... I have this awful realization... I go check check the cctv and sure enough I see what I knew I would see, even though I was really hoping not to. A guy masturbating on it. Onto the fish tank.
W. T. F.
I recognized him as he was hanging around earlier. Worse, I had to clean this up myself as no way did my young minimum wage colleague deserve to deal with that!!Needless to say next time he showed his face, I banned him from the store right there and then. My voice was a little loud.
TLDR: guy liked our fish a bit too much. Cleanup was required. Banning was also required. Wolfsabre
I had a customer threaten to call the cops because I wouldn't give them 50% off of a CHARITY bear on boxing day. 100% of the proceeds from these teddy bears went to the Make A Wish foundation and they were only $15. The store had a 50% off everything sale for boxing day, but it didn't include the CHARITY bears. I add capitals because it's a charity bear... it's purpose is right in the name!
I basically just kept saying "ma'am...it's a charity bear..." because I didn't know how else to explain that the point of the bear was to raise money... that seemed... obvious. People in line were starting to get really upset with her and she just started to freak right out and was starting to dial 911. My boss, so upset (she lost a son early in life to cancer so make a wish was important to her) just gave her a bear and told her to never come back. A bunch of familiar customers of ours were so upset they pitched in the $15 without us even saying anything which was super kind of them. It was a restoration of faith in humanity, but what a nightmare for no reason. Especially on boxing day! Lady_Of_The_Shadows
We're all adults who are totally mature and don't, at all, giggle a little bit on the inside when someone talks about what conditions are like on Uranus.
Yeah just kidding, that's hilarious.
Uranus is our favorite heavenly body.
Reddit user rsideoson asked:
"What is a word that sounds inappropriate?"
Don't worry, Reddit is absolutely no more mature than we are and we all deserve a childish giggle every now and then.
"Uvula (dangly bit in your throat)"
"Ooohhh, so it's a girl house"
" 'All god's children got a uvula!'."
"In Swedish it is called gomspene whick translates to pallet teet."
"That little dangly thing that’s hanging in the back of their throat?"
- Admirable-Door1724Snl Season 47 GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
A What Hole ?
"Our city has had several instances of exploding manholes in the downtown area. My friends never let an opportunity to make such comments pass them by. (And I love them for it!)"
"Played some drawing game once where you'd draw the word u get by the game and others would try guess it...my friend got that word and drew a .. manhole..like.. a literal manhole not the actual one, and that was when i learned that word lol"
Chew Works Too
"Especially at the dinner table.."
"Those mukbangers masticate all over the place"
"This is the winner."
"Do you oppose public mastication?"
- Cy41995Hot Dog Eating GIF by NBAGiphy
Lets Just Not Use It Anymore
"This is not a fun or funny example, but, 'niggardly'."
"Etymologically, it has absolutely nothing to do with that other word. They have totally different origins, and sound/look similar purely as a matter of coincidence."
"But it's just not worth the explanation when "stingy" or 'miserly" work just as well, so it's basically a dead word."
"Even the Reverend Jesse Jackson defended the use of this word."
"Also, TIL he's still alive."
"I remember being a preteen and stepdad using this word. I was horrified. He was mildly racist so I wasn’t too surprised but we were in public. 'Dad!!!! There’s a black woman right there!!!'."
"He explained what it meant but I sure never ever used that word."
"Yeah this word is gone forever. There is no way of tossing that out in casual conversation ever again, and even if you did you'd have to spend a good few minutes defending what you meant and looking it up to prove it."
Playing Around With Speed
"It's a running term and as a grown man I still giggle when I hear it."
"Wait is that how it’s spelled? I always thought it was Fartlick lol"
"You guys use that? It's Norwegian, meaning speed game."
"Fartlek’s were misery in high school XC. Always just called it a fart lick"
- silverhammer96Safari Park Running GIF by San Diego ZooGiphy
Fortunella Sounds Fancier
"Got banned from a forum for calling someone a kumquat. No regrets."
"The restaurant I worked at had a kumquat margarita and for a good 2 weeks the menu accidentally had cumquat, but each time the manager tried to fix it they’d accidentally print the wrong on again and there’d be too many copies to just throw out."
"That's a good one"
The 'L' Is Important
"This may only be true in American English...in other accents it's much less suggestive"
"Don't wanna wait forever for that caulk to harden"
"I used to work for a construction company doing purchasing and apparently in the winter caulk gets cold and refuses to work so you need to put your caulk in a caulk warmer"
"My brother insists on over enunciating the L so it sounds like. Cow-LK"
- jawshoeawhomer simpson GIFGiphy
You Sure About This One?
"Jiggers, also known as the chigoe flea. Similarly, chiggers, also known as berry bugs."
"Jigger is also the little double-ended cup bartenders use for measuring alcohol for cocktails."
"I was looking for these two."
" 'Jigger' is used every day by Australian surveyors. It’s what we call our theodolites or Total Stations. Short for thingamajigger perhaps. If my mate’s jigger wasn’t cooperating, he’d say 'jigger please'.”
"What’s my motherf*cking name?"
So Many Botanical Puns
"One summer day at a barbecue at my mum in laws, she walked outside and announced “wait til you see the size of the flower on my clematis” I snort inhaled my wine"
"I think they can cure that with a penicillin shot/s"
"Another botanical word that makes me giggle:"
"Scabiosa. Or, as the Brits would say, scabious."
This Is Another One We Should Maybe Not Use
"Negus. It means a hot drink of port, sugar, lemon, and spices, and it's a royal title."
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"Doesn't it also refer to an Ethiopian king?"
"Negan in Roman times."
" 'I am Negus! Thou shalt provide me with copious produce!'."
You heard (and laughed at) Reddits appropriately inappropriate words, now it's your turn to get in on the fun.
As much as people try to put on a good face in public, many of them have idiosyncratic behavior–like involuntary foot-tapping–they are ashamed of having.
Some folks, however, are not as self-aware.
These individuals could care less about other people and they act like the world is their nasty, unkempt, malodorous, living room.
Curious to hear examples of gross behavior, Redditor Dazzling_Age_4795 asked:
"What's the most disgusting bad habit?"
No one wants to see it, yet, here we are.
"Taking a dump and then not flushing in public toilets."
"I work in reception in a dental office, our Covid protocols included having wipe down the bathroom after each person. The amount of pee I’ve had to wipe off the seat and floor is absolutely disgusting. People are pigs- wipe the damn seat if your aim is that awful!!! They knew too, the intense stare down I gave them when exiting the bathroom, oh they knew."
Lazy Pet Owners
"Dog poop ( living in holland ) drives me crazy how much is just lying around. Disguisting habit for dog owners to just not care to clean it up. Which is in fact mandatory but hey... if no one sees it, its not a crime."
"People who don’t pick up their dog’s poop don’t deserve to have a dog. I also hate seeing bags of dog sh*t left on the ground. Like why bag it and just leave it there? It’s actually better for the environment if you don’t put it in the bag, lazy."
The Gross Collection
"Keeping your booger wall in plain sight where guests can see it."
"I once saw a person picking their ear and eating the wax. That sh*ts even worse then picking and eating out of your nose."
Those without any concept of having respect for their environment are very telling of the type of person they are.
Trashing The Place
"Those folk who buy cigarettes and casually walk around unwrapping and dropping plastic as they go... God I hate those guys."
Driving Smokers Suck
"People smoking while driving seem to almost always throw their cigarette butt out the window without a care in the world."
And those who don't have any respect for others in public got majorly slammed.
"Not sure if it's a 'habit', per se, but those people that have their phones on speaker ALL THE WAY UP casually talking on the train, in the grocery store, and in restaurants. I do not want to hear about your mother's bunion."
"Dude for real. I go to the library every once in a while for some quiet time.. the number of people who talk on their phone is ridiculous. Half the time if you go up to them and ask if they could be quieter or take it to the lobby they act like you're the rude one."
Clogging The Shower
"Taking a sh*t in the shower and pushing it into the drain... I knew people who did that, safe to say I don't anymore."
A Crappy Confession
"I’ve got to be honest, I farted once and a nugget, maybe the size of a pickled onion, fell out whilst I was taking a shower. As the particular bathroom I was in had the toilet in a separate room I decided the safest option for me was to squish the turd into the drain with my foot."
"I’m not proud but sometimes it has to be done."
"For clarity, I do not condone purposely dropping a full sh*t in the shower."
– User Deleted
Germy COVID Hands
"Not washing hands after using the bathroom, especially in public. Like at a restaurant."
Look, I know we all have our quirks, but I'm just not a nail-chewing and booger-flicking stan.
It's not like people with these habits are deliberately trying to inconvenience my life. But...they are.
I don't need to be stepping on nail remnants and dried-up balls of nose mucus with my barefeet.
So, what gross habits and/or behavior really gets your blood boiling?
People have different levels of tolerance when it comes to profanity.
And some people can't stand the sound of rude or vulgar language so much that they can't bring themselves to say these naughty words themselves.
But when anyone reaches a high level of anger or frustration, they still might need a verbal outlet.
And instead find themselves coming up with an alternative word, which helps them release their anger, but won't offend any nearby ears.
Redditor No-Citron5628 was curious to hear people's favorite alternatives to curse words, leading them to ask:
"What is your best swear word alternative?"
"Oh neptune."- StrappinYoungZiltoid
The last thing you want to find in your bed!
Instead of rude, be educational!
"I said this instead of… other words once when I tripped and accidentally taught this to my nephew."
"Now my sister sends me videos of my nephew saying it when things don’t go his way."- YellowForest4Warning GIFGiphy
Think of the children!
"Not sure of an actual word, but my bf and I have been trying to limit cursing since my toddler is becoming very verbal."
"He’s resorted to making very angry yelling caveman sounds when he wants to curse someone out rather than using the actual words."- Present-Lime-1244
"I like, 'slug in a ditch'."- spiked_macaroonslug GIFGiphy
We can always learn a thing or two from the kids...
"A child in my class tries to swear but unintentionally says foot instead of f*ck."
"It's probably my favorite alternative."
"Wow, didn't expect this to get so much attention."
"Thank you for the award! "
"For those asking, he is a very tiny child with a deep yorkshire accent who actually picked up the word from another child but hasn't noticed he doesn't have the pronunciation quite right yet."
"Context wise though he's bang on which makes it even funnier."- sophishx
Just one word won't do!
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, LARRY?!"
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?!"- KevinBillyStinkwater
Be mindful, it could backfire
"When my son was little he started saying bastard so I kept saying custard."
"Until the day he complained that we were having bananas and bastard again."- CheeryShortarseDoctor Who Snack GIF by BBC AmericaGiphy
Mother knows best.
"My mother always said, 'Curses!'"
"We, the kids, laugh about it all the time."- tenzip10-0
If you feel like you've sufficiently got your anger or frustration out of your system, your choice of words served their purpose.
Whether or not they would have to be bleeped out on network TV.
When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.
"Here's looking at you, kid."
"Love is never having to say you're sorry."
"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."
Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.
Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.
Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:
"What's the most bada** villain quote?"
Benedict from Last Action Hero
"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"
"I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."- S-Marktlast action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
"Pirates are evil?"
"The Marines are righteous?"
"These terms have always changed throughout the course of history!"
"Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!"
"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"
"This very place is neutral ground!"
"Justice will prevail, you say?"
"But of course it will!"
"Whoever wins this war becomes justice!"- TimeisaLie
The Man with the Midas Touch...
"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'
"'No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die'."- Hunk_StudlyInterrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy
The Last Airbender's Azula
"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."
"Azula: 'Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player'."- herculesmeowlligan
Inigo Montoya, watch out!
"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"
"-the six fingered man."
Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul
“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."
"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94
The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners
"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."
"Tuco, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'."- jpablo680
Whiterose of Mr. Robot
“'Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice'.”- Lontano64
The final frontier indeed...
"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."
"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."
"Gul Dukat, Deep Space Nine."- hamdingersDeep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy
A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.
But it's with their words that they really get you.
And how they instantly go from being merely villains, to legends.