I'm not a kid person in general. No, I don't want to hold your babies. I'll wait until they can hold conversation until I engage them thank you.
But I don't mind children being around me, unless... they're on a plane or in a restaurant.
As a consumer, children drive me crazy, especially with parents who seem to be oblivious to their child's insanity. And don't get me started about my days in restaurant services. The things I have seen with families.
I support a ban. There are plenty of places for all of us to dine.
Redditor u/woodsexy wanted everyone to share our thoughts on kids and dining... yeah or nay... by aksing:
What is your opinion of restaurants that ban children?
Some spaces are just meant for humans who are old enough to be there. I get that families need to get out, especially parents, but there are already plenty of places to go. Let's discuss...
Adult TimeDriving Billie Eilish GIF by Apple Music Giphy
"Adults should be able to go out and enjoy a quiet dinner. There are plenty of family restaurants that allow children... should be nothing wrong with having a few for adults."
A Disney No
"Where can I find such a restaurant?"
"As a parent I'm ok with it. You've got family restaurants, casual restaurants, smart restaurants that ban people in trainers, fast food restaurants, fine dining restaurants, seafood restaurants, steak restaurants, nose to tail restaurants, vegetarian and vegan restaurants, home-cooking style restaurant, hip and trendy restaurants, any number of restaurants that cater to a single cuisine. Different people want, and like, different things so if a restaurant wants to be adult only then I don't really care."
A Police State
"I'm the oldest of five kids. I remember numerous occasions when waitstaff would say things like "Wow, your children are so well-behaved!" because we weren't throwing fits. The thing is, we were self-policing. If one kid threw a fit, then everyone had to leave, and we knew it. So I think each sibling acted up once or twice in public, and then the rest of us made said sibling's life a living hell, so it wasn't repeated."
Taking Liberties...United We Dream Statue Of Liberty GIF by INTO ACTION Giphy
"It's their right. Kids can be real nuisance. Bars that ban kids are the absolute best though."
So much truth here. Private businesses have every right to say who may or may not come in. And there are other people in world beside your family unit. Continue...
Family is CoveredHungry Cat GIF by Garfield Giphy
"There's already enough family restaurants everywhere you look, if you're looking to take a date out for a romantic evening you don't exactly want kids hanging around. If it's a high class sort of establishment that's sort of a given, let me enjoy my overpriced alcohol in peace."
"I usually don't mind kids at restaurants, but I think there should be more that are child free. Most of the time they're okay, but it's really annoying when you're trying to have a nice dinner and conversation and some kids are running around/screaming and the parents just sit there and ignore them."
"I'll ignore it for awhile, because sometimes kids just act a fool, but if it gets to the point it becomes ridiculous or if they start to play around my table/invade my space, I'm going to ask for a different table without caring whether the parents overhear me say it's because of their poorly behaved kids."
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No Tolerating Allowed
"Strongly agree. During all my uni life I've worked in several type of restaurants, from silver service ones to right out fast foods. Some restaurants are simply put not child friendly, as often children can be a problem for the custumers (they can ruin your experience) and for the staff (especially when they're poorly managed by their parents). Additionally (it's not an absolute but it does happen) some parents tend to second the poor behavior of their kids."
"I had a case of kids jumping around the seats in the waiting area of the restaurant, shouting, while the restaurant was quite busy. When I asked politely to the parents if they could recall their kids their answer was "but this is an Italian restaurants, you should tolerate those things. No Karen, we shouldn't."
"I'm cool with it. If I go to a family restaurant, I expect families, some with loud kids. If I go to a bar, I expect adults, some of whom will be drunk. If I got to a quiet, fancy restaurant, I expect other quiet, respectful diners. A family restaurant won't allow drunks. A bar won't allow kids. A quiet restaurant should be able to ban noisy, misbehaving guests."
My Timerestaurant GIF Giphy
"Most of my working life was spent dealing with other people's children, and most places I go people are there with their children. It's nice to have a place outside my home where I can leave them behind, and enjoy myself."
Welcome to All
"As long as there's somewhere suitable for most average folks to pick, what does it matter? I wouldn't want to go for a romantic dinner and be surrounded by screaming kids, and equally I wouldn't want to take my kids to a place where they felt uncomfortable because it was ultra sophisticated and they weren't allowed to move or speak without being shushed every two seconds. Sometimes I like to take my dog with me, but appreciate others may not want to eat surrounded by animals. Everyone likes different stuff."
"Mother was a waitress and this woulda been the dream for her. Think I remember her telling me one time there was an incident where the kid basically b lined into someone's legs spilling a massive tray of waters onto some people. Thankfully nothing hot to burn anyone and the kid didn't get any glass coming down on them. But of course the parents didn't really seem to care that their little brat was running around like that."
BravoHappy Simon Cowell GIF by America's Got Talent Giphy
"I think they're great. I have had many meals ruined by screaming kids, or parents lecturing or threatening their kids with some kind of punishment. I breathe a sigh of relief when I walk into a restaurant, and I don't see kids."
Be Considerate Parents
"Freaking crying children should be taken outside regardless of restaurant policy. It's a courtesy to the people in the restaurant who aren't obnoxious."
"Totally agree! I have 2 kids myself and anytime they have cried or gotten loud I take them outside to calm down. I don't get parents who just let them carry on. On top of this can we talk about parents who let their kids watch iPads or phones at full blast at restaurants."
"Wtf is that even. My kids are 6 and 2 and Ive never gave them devices while out to eat because it's family time. And if I did I'd give them headphones so no one had to hear it instead of blasting that at full volume. Honestly annoys me more then kids crying."
No Babysitters Here!
"As a father, I'm okay with it. We don't really go out to eat much anyway. I've read about parents that treat the waitstaff as impromptu babysitters. Some mom groups on Facebook even had the nerve to put out a guide to waiters on how to keep their little ones happy. Hello! It's your damn job! Waiters get paid to bring you food and extra napkins. If you want a babysitter, hire one. I respect parents who have the guts to tell the kids that if they don't call down they'll go home and then go through with it."
"Can confirm: Am parent to two under-five children. ;P. Seriously, my 4 year old is generally excellent in a restaurant, but I also know he's an exception and he often receives compliments from the staff for his behavior. My 2 year old? Forget it. I learned long ago nobody enjoys that ordeal. Nobody."
To the Chains
"If I'm paying a lot of money for my dinner I do not want your kids to ruin it for me. Even if they aren't crying, they are being loud or running around and just being annoying. I know it isn't the case with every family but I am absolutely for banning kids under the age of 10. On a different note, I don't expect this to be the case when I'm at Perkins or Texas Roadhouse, but I don't visit chains anyway."
"Awesome. Because not everyone wants to go out to eat and be seated next to someone with a screaming child. I know that sounds harsh, and yes, parents do deserve a night out and sometimes cannot get a babysitter. And there are plenty of places that will accommodate you and your kids."
"Also, some places are designed for it. But if a place is upfront on that policy and designed themselves for it, I'm good with that too. Sometimes you want to be in a loud sportsbar type place, others it is nice to have a quiet sit down meal in a nice place."
Spending in Peace
"If I'm paying a lot of money I don't want my kids ruining it for me! I live my kids but I can't expect a 3 year old to pontificate about a veg puree and a nice sauce can I? We almost exclusively eat at chains or local family restaurants with the kids as they cater to them better too. We can have the best of both worlds and I want to sit and enjoy my nice wine with a nice meal!"
Just in case...food fight family GIF by The Jerry Springer Show Giphy
"Should be more of them tbh, imagine wanting to have a conversation with someone but there's toddlers screaming, running around, having tantrums and crying. I once was in a plane flight where a baby decided to throw his food on me, so I try to avoid kids that are eating. Just in case."
There has to be a way for all of us to dine out. Let's look at it less like a ban and liken it to an age limit. It's about establishing who can and cannot enter for the right reasons. Mangia everyone!
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Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.