Happy move-in day!! Who cried this time? You, your mom, or the RA?
It's always hard to say goodbye to your child. We get it. But sometimes it's like...hey, mom? You gotta go. Dad? You need to leave. Exit is that way. Please. Be on your way.
u/hubbertpuff asked Reddit:
Here were some of the answers.
Mom thought she would be able to live with her daughter in the dorms. Upon being told that wasn't possible, she withdrew the daughter, and they both went back home.
In a helicopter parenting situation, I had left my phone number at a desk for a desk attendant one night I was on duty. A resident saw this, my personal number, and gave it to his Dad.
Dad calls me and immediately starts yelling that there is a leak in his son's bathroom ceiling and piss has been leaking through it.
"Okay; how long?" "For a week." "Has he done anything? Notified anyone?" "You're the RA, you're supposed to know."
Dad chews me out for ten more minutes. I check out the kid's room. He's got towels all over the bathroom floor. I look up at the ceiling. Super light leak, definitely not piss. I tell him so and tell him to file a maintenance request. He demands that I do it for him. I point him in the right direction, but he's a big boy, so no. He demands to know if what I know is water is piss. I casually ask why he let what he thought was piss leak into his apartment for a week. As I go to leave, he tells me he's going to demand that the university pay for his ruined (read: wet, the function of) towels and he wants my contact info to file a complaint. I nod, give him the info, and leave.
His Dad calls me a day later, but I had spoken to my boss the night before.
"Hi I'm calling on behalf of—" "Yes I know, sir, but I'm an RA and I handle students' problems. If he wants my attention, he can call me himself. Otherwise, I don't report to you. Have a nice day, sir. Delete my number."
Take The HintGiphy
Been an RA for 3 years now. Every year, without fail, there's always THAT family that helps their kid move in on Sunday and then stays the ENTIRE freshman orientation week until school actually starts the next Monday. Except the freshmen obviously have activities to go to all throughout the week so the parents, who can't accompany their kids to the activities, sit around either in the kid's room or in the lobby of the dorm. It drives me crazy. Last year was particularly bad, with an entire family of mom, dad, siblings, cousins, etc all camped out in the dorm's lobby for a week.
The university seemed to pick up on the fact that this is a problem, because this year they introduced a new event into orientation week: a "good-bye" lunch specifically for parents to give them the hint it is time to leave.
Oddest story I had was had one room that had completely different roommates. Not like goth and yacht club odd couple sort of thing but two different away from home experiences. One had been in a boarding school for years and was laid back. Second was a homeschooler with drill Sargent dad and doting Mom.
The laid back resident's parents didn't even show up. I asked him if he came alone and he said his parents were in town but wanted to avoid the chaos and would say goodbye tomorrow. Second resident almost seemed dazed when his parents left. His dad told him to stay in college (like an order) while Mom cried and took forever to leave.
Next day I check in on both. One was gone. The homeschooled one had moved out, drove a few hours and had arrived at his house twenty minutes after his parents did (a fellow student in the dorm was from the same town and even same church which is how we found out).
The parents of the remaining resident showed up the next day, asked where their sons room was at. I told them and they thanked me. then asked if the freshmen had events planned or were they free for dinner because they wanted to take their son and his new roommate out for dinner...
When I was an RA in 2014-2015, one of my residents was 27-28 and was still having a hard time moving out of the house, but not because of her emotions. Her parents came over every night for dinner (they were over an hour away) and kept on trying to get her to drop out and move back home. It became really hard for her. It got to the point where she asked me and the other RAs to tell her parents that she was out when they came to see her. They got mad since the first time we had to tell them that. She said she didn't know what she was going to do after the school year ended but that she didn't want to move back home, she just wanted to be free from them.
Big Brother ParentingGiphy
Engineering school , 1970's. Mom dropped her kid off at his dorm and drives away. Yes, pushed his suitcase and a few boxes out of the car. Told Junior goodbye, study hard, and left.
Junior was 15 freaking years old, super genius child prodigy with zero social skills.
His roommates were horrified, but most of them had little brothers, so big brother parenting kicked in. The kid was pretty well socialized by the end of the first semester, and had a collection of de facto big brothers and big sisters helping him live life.
It was a relief, because as a house counselor I was really worried I was going to have a bad situation on my hands. I did not need to do anything at all.
Not an RA, but a friend's dorm had the worst case of parent/student separation I've ever seen.
See, there wasn't any. At least if the mother had her way.
The day after move-in the girl's mother showed up in the middle of the day and asked for keys to the daughter's room.
Then she wanted someone to come with her upstairs and let her in. She was only there to get her daughter's dirty clothing! Why can't she do that?!
After 20 minutes of arguing the woman left a note and told the poor guy at the front desk that it wasn't the last he'd heard from her.
When the student was informed she seemed totally embarrassed, apologized for her mother, and said it wouldn't happen again.
Two days later the woman came back at 5:30am in the morning, shoulder-surfed the pass code to the building, and then, when her child wouldn't answer calls from the lobby phone, snuck upstairs when one of the residents was leaving.
Woke up the entire (wrong) floor of people by banging at the door to an empty room and eventually got escorted out by my friend and Public Safety.
"But I just wanted to take my baaaaaby out to breakfast!" / "How am I going to know she's eating right if I don't?!" / "I'm her mother, and I pay for everything, so you can't make me leave!" / "I'm going to sue you! You're trying to keep me from my baaaaaby!!!"
Public Safety kept someone in the lobby 24/7 for the next three weeks. It would have only been a few days, but scuttlebutt was that she tried twice more, including once in 'disguise'. (Sunglasses, a baseball hat, and a set of University sweats.)
Ashley's Mom...She's Got It Going On
This was over a decade ago. Mom and dad move their daughter onto my floor. Most parents arrive and leave within 3-4 hours. This family were one of the first to arrive at 8:30 when "the doors opened" and spent the morning decorating. I was busy so I said "Hi" and kept on trucking.
They took their daughter out for lunch and got back at like 2pm - very nice send off so far.
At 4pm they were still there. The room was decorated, the daughter and dad were just awkwardly sitting there not sure what to do, but the mom was fussing back and forth around the tiny dorm room.
At 6pm I was rounding up anyone who wasn't already down for dinner to make sure the introverts didn't just hide in their rooms on the first night. This family was still sitting in this room together.
So, I said, "Hey we're all going down for dinner, Ashley, would you like to join us?"
Her mom answered, "Well, we're still sort of getting set up here, so..."
Seeing what was happening I said, "Well, move-in hours expired an hour ago, and we're a little strict about visitors, as you can understand. Why don't you guys say your goodbyes, and Ashley can meet us downstairs?"
The mom non-committaly said, "ok we'll see" But I had like 10 other people with me so I couldn't wait around.
I got back to my floor at 8pm - they were still there - almost 12 hours now. I was trying to be polite and compassionate for the mom, but I told them the parents would either need a visitors pass (for staying the night) if they wanted to stay any longer. The mom didn't say anything to me but confirmed she'd heard the message.
About 20 minutes later the parents left. I talked to Ashley and she said her mom is really overbearing. I introduced her to some other girls who might run in the same cliques, and she settled in really well after that.
This mom ended up being my f*cking nightmare for the first two months of that semester.
Ignored Texts And CallsGiphy
I think the worst was the over protective mother. She constantly called her son, who ended up not answering after the third call of the day.
Mom would then call his RA, who would go to the students room and tell him to call his mom. If he didn't do this she called the RA again and had this repeat.
It hit its climax when the mother couldn't get her son or the RA on the line and called the office in a fit of panic that her son had done drugs and died. No, he was just playing pool and ignored his phone.
I think the Director of Housing stepped in at that point, we didn't hear anything after that.
Bye Bye Bigot
My RA time was the early 90's. The worst I saw was a guy who cried for four days after his mom dropped him off. It was the first time he had been away from home and had been extremely sheltered and couldn't handle being alone. It took a while but his roommate was friendly and a genuinely nice guy and he helped him acclimate.
The second wasn't necessarily separation issues but a fight between a father and the roommate. His son was heterosexual and he and his dad were both strict Christian and macho stereotypical jock types. He saw the posters that his roommate had up, mostly muscley men in speedos and musical posters. They both went ballistic and started harassing the poor kid. He stood up for himself and they jumped him. It took me, the other RA and three other guys from the floor to pull them off. We ended up kicking him out of the dorm and he was reprimanded by the university.
My brother and I both went to college far from home, and he's a year older. So my folks didn't drop me off at school, they helped us pack a UHaul and my bro dropped me off w my stuff on the curb. I did sign-in, orientation etc alone. If that sounds rough, don't worry. I wanted to be SO Grown Up going to college far away so that's exactly what I got and I figured everything out.
My friend though. She went to the same college, also far from her folks on purpose. Her mom was very sweet and well meaning, but clingy and needy. Her mom dropped her off, crying etc... and then proceeded to randomly appear on campus throughout the semester. Like out of the blue, unannounced, on a random Thursday or whatever.
The woman had a job. She lived over 12 hour away. How did she manage this?! To this day I can't understand the basic logistics. She would appear in my friends room at like 7am "because class starts at 8!" Oh yes, she had my friends class schedules memorized, and her due dates for major assignments etc. This does not even start to address the phone calls... this was before texting was a thing.
My friend could not escape. Eventually she dropped out and went home... not entirely due to her mom, but it certainly didn't help. Just the complete discord of this woman's lovely, stifling presence, every time my friend felt like she was finally getting her sh*t together, mom swooped in and pulled the rug out from under her. Again.
East Side West SideGiphy
This is my coworker's story, but she told me and laughed at herself. It's wholesome and I'll share.
Her daughter went to a local college. The campus is about 45 minutes away from the coworker's house down one of the main roads in our area. So, she and her husband packed the daughter up one August day and dropped her off. She said that she and her daughter were standing, crying and hugging, and there was another mother/daughter pair engaged in a similarly emotional good bye near them.
Later that night, her daughter called to let her know that the other mom/daughter were from CA. We're in PA. It was then that my coworker realized she was being ridiculous.
My Fifth Roommate
So I'm not an RA and this was actually in the student apartment housing, but I do have one from my sophomore year! I scrambled last minute to find a place to live close to campus at the end of freshman year. Found this place that seemed pretty decent, 309$ a month free internet and cable. They would pair you with 3 other people in a 4br apartment. One of the dudes I ended up with seemed okay at first(26 yo grad student), but things turned probably 3 weeks into living with him. I'd wake up at 3 or 4am and go out to the kitchen to get a drink and heard him on the phone. Didn't think much of it, figured it was probably a long distance relationship thing "miss you" "can't wait to see you" all that. Turns out he was talking to his mom. Shortly after she started coming and staying with him every game day weekend. Get there Friday morning first thing and not leave until Tuesday or Wednesday. You'd think it would stop when football season was over, but you'd be wrong lol. It hadn't stopped up until I'd moved out. From what the other roommates told me who had lived with him before, it's something they've done since his freshman year
My roommate's parents took way too long helping him move in and it got to a point where we all started partying despite them still being there. His dad had about 3-6 beers (and probably a few tokes of weed while nobody was watching) as his wife nitpicked over really arbitrary decorative details. They finally leave and we're all making jokes about how they stayed too long, thank god they finally left, now we can go nuts, etc. Nothing mean spirited, just friendly har-hars at the situation, since they were super nice people.
At this point, my roommate is f*cked up, things are in full swing and lo-in-behold, we see his dad navigating his way through the crowds of people.
Apparently, he was in no shape to drive, his wife was furious and refused to drive, so he needed to borrow a laptop to make hotel reservations for the night. Everyone is drunk trying to help by making hotel suggestions, which app to use for bookings, which deal to take advantage of, etc. and this guy wants to listen to everyone. So in the end, my roommate's mom is sitting in the car parked outside the frat house at 8pm on party night while his dad shoots the sh*t with a bunch of college kids about where to stay.
One...Two...Ten...Forty Missed Calls?Giphy
I had a pretty embarrassing thing happen with my mom in college. I'm an only child so my mom has always been a bit overprotective and it probably didn't help that she and my dad got divorced the year before, so this separation was probably hard for her. Anyway, my friends as me if I wanted to come with them to the Target that was like 30 minutes away. I said sure, but I ended up forgetting my phone in my room. We go to Target and then grab a bite to eat on the eat back, so the whole trip took probably like 2 or 3 hours. I get back to my took and check my phone and see I have like 30 missed calls and a bunch of voicemails from my mom. I call her back and she tells me that she's at the college waiting in parking lot. Apparently she was worried that I wasn't answering my phone in the middle of the day and thought something bad had happened, so she drove the hour and half up to make sure everything was okay.
Not an RA, but I had a friend who brought a huge amount of stuff with her. And that wasn't all! Every time I went over to say hi or ran into her or just went past her dorm, it turned out her dad has left to go get something else. And I mean she brought normal move-in stuff - sheets, a comforter, her laptop, sketchbooks - but she also brought like 60 shirts (for a quarter that was 10 weeks in length), a large storage shelf thing that went over her bed, an over the toilet shelf thing, several other pieces of furniture, SO MANY BINS. It's like she was moving into an apartment and not a freshman dorm room. I'm not sure when her parents eventually left, but she went up to visit them nearly every weekend (for the ENTIRE four years). For our first year, my mom lived locally and I didn't even visit her that often, even though it was only like a 30 minute drive vs my friend's 6 hour drive.
I still get really baffled thinking of all that stuff she brought with her, and kept every year, and she'd always comment on how big my room was when she visited. I couldn't point out it's because my room just had the school-provided furniture and a mini-fridge instead of like 5 extra pieces of furniture (also nobody would believe me when I'd say it just looks bigger because I put my bed lengthwise against one of the walls instead of having both beds with their short sides on the wall, jutting into the middle of the floor).
Anyway besides that, I don't remember there being too much parent/student separation drama. It was mostly pretty normal deals with parents helping carry in suitcases, going out to lunch, and then leaving. And everybody I saw always had normal amounts of stuff that wouldn't take up 3/4 of the dorm room on its own!
There are some questions that illustrate such vulnerability, such open tragedy on the part of the asker that we fend off tears while we come up with an appropriate answer.
Sometimes the question comes from someone who's been so steeped in struggle that they need help understanding that another possible reality exists.
Sometimes it's a question that cuts right to our own core with startling efficiency.
Whatever form it takes, it stops us in our tracks and we're likely to remember it for quite awhile after.
Curious to hear the saddest examples, Redditor julylovestory asked:
"What question has someone asked you that secretly broke your heart?"
Many Redditors responded by sharing the sad questions uttered by young children.
Kids just have the knack for cutting straight through to the essence of it all.
A Tragic Conscientiousness
"As we passed the toy aisle at the store, 'I know you don't have much money right now, but maybe when you get some we could come back and get a toy?' "
"I was not doing well financially back then and my daughter brought me to tears in the middle of the store."
Puzzled and Sad
"First day of preschool for my three year old son. The first time he would ever be away from Mom & Dad at the same time."
"I brought him to the room and expected a meltdown, but instead he confidently strutted, and I do mean strutted into the classroom."
"Three hours later, I picked him up. He was ok until we got to the car when he said, in quiet sad voice 'l thought you were coming with,' followed by an even sadder quieter 'Why did you leave me?' "
" 'Can I wish for my sister?' - A 10-year-old student of mine whose big sister died 4 years ago. We were working on an activity about dreams and aspirations for their futures."
How Bad Must It Be?
"I was like 22 and it was probably 10pm or so at a Walmart. I was on my way to a party and stopped for beer. The store was fairly empty and as I was in the beer aisle, I see this kid completely by himself."
"He was about 5 and at first I thought it was kind of funny because he was trying to pick up a case of beer. I waited like 30-60 seconds, looking around for this kid's mom/dad to come get him. A couple people walked right by him like it was normal, so then I started getting worried. I picked up my two cases of beer and walked over and kindly asked him if he lost his mom or needed help."
"The kid completely ignored the question and instead was thoroughly impressed that I was strong enough to carry two cases of beer. Eventually an employee noticed and came over as well. I told her everything I knew and she took over and told him that she was going to bring him to find his mom."
"As he was walking away he kept looking back at me and I smiled and said goodbye. The kid stopped and said 'can I just come home with you? I don't like my mom.' "
"I was caught off guard so I just laughed and told him the lady was going to help him. Now I'll never know the full story, or what happened to him but the more I think about it - that kid more than likely had a pretty shi**y childhood."
"I mean, the store wasn't busy and it was late at night on a weekday. It really makes you wonder why he was there in the first place, how he got separated from his mom and why would he ask to go with a complete stranger instead of worrying about where his mom was?"
"It still makes me sad. Hope everything worked out for the little dude."
Others talked about the times when they or somebody else realized just how tragic their own circumstances were.
"My ex asked me what I liked to do with my family growing up."
"Made me realize my family never did anything together and I literally had no answer to such a basic question."
Seeing Another Version
"During college, parents took a friend and I out to dinner. Very normal dinner, chit chatted about whatever. After we left and were walking back to my car, he turns to me and says 'Is that what a normal relationship is like?' "
"We talked more after that, I had met his parents a few times and they seemed strict but never seemed to have a terrible relationship. Turned out apparently his dad had cheated on his mom multiple times, dad had zero respect for any of my friends sisters and essentially expected them to do all the housework while the men did 'guy stuff.' "
"Hunting, training for sports, school, etc. Turned out his childhood was pretty fu**ed, dad was never around and he had to essentially be the father figure in the house. As the oldest child, never really saw a normal loving relationship that he could look up to."
"My friend is a really nice guy, still has some messed up views of relationships though. I never realized how 'abnormal' my very normal family/childhood was."
A Better Place
" 'You've never beaten me or told me I couldn't do something. Is that normal?'
"My first girlfriend told me that. I have never felt such a wave of anger, sadness, and heartbreak wash over me like I did when I heard that"
And some people discussed the time a question destroyed their social confidence.
Worst Teacher Ever
"I have a stutter, when I was a kid I had to read a page of a book to the class. I stuttered, and the teacher said 'can you even read' and that fu**ing broke my 13 year old heart."
"No one takes stuttering seriously."
There's the Answer
"When I was 19, I hung out with a cute girl from my high school that I never got to hang with when we were in school. Had a great day together, and that night she asked, 'can we be like secret friends or something? I don't really hang out with people like you.' "
"Never hung out again."
Comparing and Contrasting
" 'Oh, are you the girl with the hot sister ?' " -- JustehOK
"I worked in a department with two Melissas. One day, I was sitting next to one Melissa when we overheard another coworker say to someone, 'have you seen little Melissa?' "
"The other Melissa got kind of a defeated look in her eye and said, 'oh, I'm big Melissa.' " -- EarhornJones
It's a list that's sad enough to leave one wondering about the questions they've received that struck them as particularly hopeless.
Sometimes, though, that vulnerability can be the start of accepting new realities and new possibilities.
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If you live on this earth and you're fortunate enough to form long-lasting relationships with different people, chances are you'll know the pain of heartbreak. It's an unavoidable fact of life.
We are not guaranteed to stay with one person forever, as we were reminded once Redditor disturbance of mirrors asked the online community,
"People whose long-term relationship faded, what was the final straw that made you realize it was time to call it a day?"
"The last time..."
"When she 'broke up' with me for the 12th time.
We had a long-distance relationship and whenever we had an issue or a disagreement, instead of engaging in a conversation with me about it, she would say we were done and shut me out for two or three days before coming back and manipulating me into groveling for her forgiveness. The last time, I just said no to going back and stuck to it. She freaked out and tried to drive 6 hours to my place at 2:00 a.m... I got a call from her mom saying she had left in the middle of the night as a head's up and, upon finally getting ahold of her when she was just a couple of hours away, I was able to convince her to turn back.
That relationship f***** me up for a while but, once I began dating my now fiancee, it was unbelievable to me how wonderful a real, loving relationship with healthy communication can be."
"Her brother was living with us..."
"Mine was not a slow burn like most seem to be, but a very definitive moment.
Her brother was living with us and this was right when WiFi was becoming available to the general public. We couldn't afford it cuz we were broke kids, so her brother would take my GF's MacBook (it was a gift) and sit on a nearby bus bench and leech off someone's unsecured WiFi.
Well, one day we get a call from her sister and she says we need to get home immediately. Turns out some guys came up and asked him for change for a $20 and when he told them he didn't have it they tried to snatch the Mac and jump in their car.
He knew it wasn't his so he held onto it and tried to get it back but they were too much. He had gotten dragged by the car, kicked in the head, and then had his leg run over. He was in pretty bad shape.
As we turn the corner (didn't know what had happened yet) GF sees cop cars and an ambulance and says "This better not have anything to do with my Mac. We walk in and he's visibly in bad shape and she is just immediately "Did you lose my Mac?" I'll never forget his face. He was so ashamed and felt terrible and just started crying. She however started screaming my computer! My computer! And hitting him. To the point where the cops considered arresting her. It was an instant eye-opener."
"I'd sit in my car..."
"I'd sit in my car after work playing on my phone for like an hour because I just needed a break before going inside and dealing with him."
That would do it.
"I would find any excuse..."
"I would find any excuse to work late or sometimes go sit at a bar by myself just to avoid the misery at home. We divorced."
"He was a workaholic..."
"He was a workaholic to the point that I saw him about 6 days per month."
"Somewhere between giving up on small talk and not looking forward to the weekends anymore."
That's no way to live.
"It really forced us..."
"Honestly it was the pandemic. It really forced us to actually spend time together and I realized we kind of just didn't do much together at all. I had spent years thinking it was cool that we kept our own friends and space but once those distractions were taken away it was just really clear to me that we were more roommates than a couple."
"When I realized..."
"When I realized I was needed and not wanted. Constantly trying to make someone happy who didn't want to be happy."
This one hurts. I've been there myself. (And I have also been that person––I thankfully got help.)
"We lived together..."
"We lived together but lived completely separate lives. Basically a housemate I shared a bed with. Happened twice to me so far."
"I would have moved mountains for him..."
"I knew it was over when I cared more about his wellbeing than he cared about his own wellbeing. I would have moved mountains for him if it made his life easier and he just continuously put himself in shi!ty situations. I eventually just gave up. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about themselves. Thank God that's over."
If you think you might be stuck in a pointless or unhealthy relationship, it's worth evaluating your options. And it's never worth sticking around and risking your emotional and mental health.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.
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There is always that "one." There is always going to be that person.
That person who you will always remember. And when they are the one who you regret losing most... they are the ghost that will haunt you forever.
I have a few escapees. I'll never know how it would've turned out. But that is part of why I'm haunted. I need to discuss....
Redditor u/AssistantNo1733 wanted to discuss all the times we've lost in love by asking:
Who's the one who got away?
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The DraftEpisode 1 Omg GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy
"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Muchrhythm nation dance GIF by Janet JacksonGiphy
A girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.Chuck E Cheese Wink GIFGiphy
"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
Sweet...Kim Tate Eye Roll GIF by EmmerdaleGiphy
Damn man why bring this up.
"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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What are the odds you'd click on this link today?
What was the biggest coincidence that made you question the fabric of reality?
There's small coincidences, occurrences so minute that you wouldn't even notice them if you weren't paying attention. However, once someone makes a big deal out of them then there's no other choice but to acknowledge that what just happened was spectacular.
Each Having A Buddy Coming To Town
"My friend and I were on a road trip a few years ago and needed a place to stay. We both told each other we had a friend in the city we were going through, so we figured we'd be able to crash with one of them. Turns out our two friends were roommates and had both been telling each other that they had a friend coming to town soon."
What's That Got To Be? A 1 in 1000 Chance?
"Several years ago I was at a coffee shop with some friends and one of them had an ipad, another friend went to unlock it and asked him what his 4 digit unlock code was, so I just blurted out 4 random digits pretending like I knew it, and it actually worked. I had never unlocked it before or knew of the same numbers being used for anything else, or his phone number, etc."
Both Probably Assumed What The Best Time Was
"I passed out after receiving a flu shot when I was 28. The nurse who helped me up kept asking if I wanted my mom. It seemed like a really weird thing to offer an adult woman - the option to have her mother phoned and brought in - so I was really confused and getting progressively more annoyed at her repeatedly asking...
...until my mom walked up to me. She had the appointment after mine to get vaccinated. The nurses assumed we had come together, but neither of us knew about the other's appointment, and we lived an hour away from each other in different cities."
Living in such a big world can lead you to the conclusion that math is silly and odds are never in your favor. With over seven billion people roaming around, chances of meeting someone of significance?
Less than you think.
A Simultaneous Love Of Traveling
"This guy I went to grade school and high school with, an acquaintance at best. I've seen him in 5 different locations in different countries throughout the last 15 years.
Disney World when I was a kid.
Some beach bar in Thailand.
The Bean in Chicago.
A pub in Budapest.
A library in San Jose, Costa Rica.
We've become friends due our love of traveling, but neither of us post on social media and neither of us communicated with each other our plans to travel. We never talked outside of the random meetings. Now if I see him, its like the world wants us to have a beer together. haha"
"I Mean, The Crash, Yeah, But How Have You Been?"
"My dad lives in a national park here in Australia. It's farmland that's grandfathered in. It's the remnants of a volcano that blew itself up very violently, so it's very hilly terrain.
One day we were sitting out on the deck, when we see a hang-glider come down halfway down the valley, and it didn't look like a nice landing. "Sh-t, we better see if he's alright, they don't land anywhere near here"
So we get in the car, drive for about 10 minutes to reach the spot. We head over to the guy who is standing by a very damaged glider. The pilot is staring at us incredulously, he stammers "F-ck, Jack, is that you?".
My dad, who hasn't seen his childhood friend for 35 years shouts "F-ck, Tim, is that you?".
They both grew up in Greymouth, NZ. Found each other randomly after a glider crash in NSW, Australia."
Takes A Wedding To Bring People Together
"My wife and I were looking to hire a caterer for our wedding and when we met, my wife and her started talking about their lives a bit.
Turns out they had both literally grown up on the same street, in a city of 10 million people, on the other side of the world. Both had left the city around a decade before immigrating to our current country.
They knew the same people, had hung out at the same coffee place, attended the same church. They even used to grab mangoes off the same large tree that hung over the wall of one of the large houses in the neighbourhood.
But they had never met one another until meeting on almost the exact opposite side of the planet, in a small town of about 50,000 people."kor_hookmaster
What we can gain from these experiences is a coincidence will occur more than you think, you just have to have the eyes sharp enough to spot them.
But how would you explain these?
Position Is Key
"I dialed my mum on my mobile when I was on public transport and accidentally swapped two numbers around.
The person I called was on the same carriage."
"Go on, tell us what happened then!"
"So I was listening to my phone and at the exact moment it started the ringing sound I heard a phone start ringing and I thought it was a coincidence but then the phone answered and it wasn't mum.
All I said was "Oh, are you on the Upfield train?" and they said "Yes, who's this?" but I got shy and I hung up.
Poor guy must have been so confused."
Universal Echoes Bringing You Closer Together
"One time, me and my dad were discussing his friend while out driving at night without many other cars on the road. As we were talking, we pulled up to a red light, and the car waiting in front was my dad's friend. He didn't even live close to there."
Extremely Unlucky Odds. Go Buy A Lottery Ticket.
"A couple of years ago I was visiting my hometown and decided to sit on a bench at my favorite park. As I was sitting, I felt something land on my head. Bird poop. After heading home and washing my hair, I went back into town. While I walked around, I watched as a guy got hit with a drop of sky sh-t. As I was laughing about the apparent irritable bowel syndrome of the birds in my town, a bird flying right over me drops a fat sh-t on my head."
There's no magic at play. All of these happenstances can be explained away with simple math and rudimentary probability.
Still, it's fun to live when you're in the moment.