Religion can be a beautiful thing...
But even the most devoted can notice flaws. While learning the stories behind your faith, or reading religious texts, there may be some passages that make you do a double take. Maybe it's outdated or completely lacking logic, but sometimes there can be humor found in it.
Redditor u/sebastian-yrigoyen asked people to share the plot holes they've noticed while practicing their religion, and some people made very good points.
Could someone explain the rules for heaven?
Late to the party, but in Islam there's the belief that God knows everything you will do before you're even born. Meaning that we don't control our own actions. At the same time, to get into Heaven, you need to-- of your own accord-- pray 5 times daily, read the Quran, etc. So my thing is this: If God knows what everyone is gonna do beforehand, and He knows people aren't gonna do what it takes to get into Heaven (cause he is omniscient); doesn't this then mean that God has already decided who goes to Heaven and who gets Hell? Cause there's no possible way in any Abrahamic religion (cause they all operate under the "do this to get into paradise" thing and all have God knowing everything before it happens) that we'd be able to try to get into Heaven. And this is just the tip of the iceberg on questions
We are created as we should be
I would say about 3/4 of hardcore Christians think being LGBT is wrong and against their god, but then also say that "God created everyone exactly how he wants them to be" like ?????
Many people die in that book
I want to know why so many Christians say that murder is wrong but ignore all the killing that God did in the Bible. Like, how do they justify drowning everyone except Noah and his family?
When was sin created?
I am a Christian and a thing that has really puzzled me is that if Adam and Eve ever gave birth to a child wouldn't it be a sin even if marriage wasn't a thing back then? Like despite marriage not being a thing back then it would still technically be a sin in the future. Or did God make marriage a thing in the future and just brush it off since Marriage wasn't a thing back then? I am confusion.
The mysterious story of Easter
Why did they roll a big rock over the the entrance of the cave where Jesus's body was taken to after he died? It seems like something that was insanely impractical for people to do at the time. Was it common practice to throw bodies in a cave and then seal it? If so, was Jesus the last body to be put in? To a non-believer, it just seems like something the story added to make the story more convincing, but it doesn't really make sense outside of the set up for a resurrection story.
On the same subject, I've heard a preacher talk about how Jesus basically teleported out of the cave after the resurrection, but god apparently sent an angel to sit on the boulder which was moved out of the way (for no reason). That implies that not only was there a resurrection, but god thought it wasn't miraculous enough and had to add a dash of showmanship to the whole coming back from the dead thing. What's up with that?
To see is to believe
Why has there been no "holy magical" moments in our time like there's nothing to actually show gods presence. And that's why I'm secretly unreligous(my parents are religious)
The ridiculous life spans of Biblical figures
Christians claim that the people in the Bible lived to be absurdly old. For example, they say that Noah was around 650 years old when he built the ark and didn't die until he was older then 900. How could this even be remotely possible? It doesn't make sense because they would have lived much shorter lives then we do in the present. They wouldn't have had access to modern medicine or anything.
Plot points were suddenly abandoned
So we all know that Jesus is the main focus of the new testament, but my biggest question is, what happened to him between the ages of 12 and 30
In the entirety of the bible itself,a number of immaculate creatures were named (such as the Behemoth, Leviathan,etc.) but not heard of after being mentioned and no one has ever interacted with them ever since
(Although I've read other christian texts, this is going to be one for people have not) where did giants come from, and even more astonishingly, where did they go
No one ever told you about the aquarium on the ark?
What happened to all the fresh water fish in the flood
Noah had a 50 gallon aquarium on the ark
Careful who you say that to
I was raised a Scientologist. There are many plot holes.
This is the trouble when your messenger is a 2 bit sci-fi author with fraudulent tendencies.
The dating pool was pretty nonexistent
"In the beginning there was Adam and Eve" Ok, I'm following that. 2 people on the planet.
They had 2 sons named Cain and Able. Yep, still with it. 4 people on the planet.
Cain killed Able. Ok, thats down to 3 people on the planet.
Cain took a wife. Wait, wut?
Mythology is all over the place
This isn't my religion, but I always found it hypocritical that the gods punished Oedipus for sleeping with his mother without realizing it, despite the fact that Zeus married his own sister while being fully aware that they were siblings.
Loki's backstory is actually tricky
why doesn't Sleipnir have the same sentience as his half siblings when they're all children of Loki? where does all the extra mead from Heiðrún go? and that's only the beginning.
This person just admitted they're a viking and no one noticed.
I imagine they were hard to misstheme park dinosaur GIF Giphy
The lack of dinosaurs.
Why does he make us suffer the foxes?the fox band GIF Giphy
If God is the all knowing intelligent being that created everything, what was his reasoning around making foxes mating noises, if Humans are his children and he loves us why make us suffer every night listening to screaming of little horny foxes.
Is there a grey area?
If good people go to heaven and bad people goes to hell, and also we'll see again loved one after death, what happen when a good people love a bad people? (Think a mother with a serial killer son for instance)
Is the good people condemned to spend eternity without their loved one? How is it fair?
Surprised I scrolled down this far to find this, but this was a problem that I raised a lot in my religious classes a child. Never got an answer, usually I was met with a strict scolding.
About the closest I ever got to an answer was that in heaven everyone will be so perfectly happy it will be as if our connections from earth won't matter. Obviously they didn't know and were speculating but that actually made me feel even worse.
Who does Satan think he is?
Why would satan punish humans for rebelling against god, something that he himself once did. I've always thought of it as hypocritical, and that satan would reward the human for exercising their free will and living a life free of religious constraints.
It's a special privilege
God is perfect and cannot sin. There exists "the wrath of God." Wrath is one of the seven deadly sins.
Yes but He has a special permit
JUST the 2 of "US?"
If Adam and Eve were the first two people on Earth and are responsible for the birth of all people ever, than the entire human race is the product of incest.
Although, to be fair, that does explain quite a lot.
My wife and I got married in the church that her and her family went to growing up. Part of the process of being married in the church meant that we had to do pre marriage classes. During these classes we had to discuss a variety of topics including sexual relationships between husband and wife.
We were told that the catholic church does not believe in any form of birth control, a child is a gift from god. Couples looking to engage in intercourse just need to keep track of a woman's cycle and that would be fine. Kind of seemed like someone trying to rig a lottery.
The Lost Years
What happened to Jesus in his teen years though?
There's actually a really good and funny book called "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pall" that takes place during his teen years where Jesus (Joshua in the book) and Biff go out and try to figure out how he's supposed to be a prophet. And I take that book as full cannon.
because HE said so....jesus GIF Giphy
If man is not perfect, but man wrote the Bible how am I supposed to trust what I'm reading from the Bible. How do I know they didn't mess anything up?
Because it Christian faith the Bible was written by God through people, so they only wrote down what He told them to.
Meant to be the Villain
I don't know if this is considered as a plot hole:
Judas Iscariot was essential to Jesus' plan. If he didn't sold Jesus out then the prophecy will not come true. Why then is he considered a villain? He should be at the top! He got the job done!
The belief was that although Judas couldn't disregard his role in betraying Jesus, the fact was that he chose to kill himself (hanging himself from a tree) as opposed to genuinely repent. We see that Peter also betrayed Jesus but ultimately seeks forgiveness etc.
Forgive them yourself?
If you're God and you need to split off part of you to send to earth to die for the sins of mankind, wouldn't it just be faster to like... forgive them yourself? I mean you aren't scoring points from me for this convoluted story of some Virgin getting knocked up by you to give birth to a form of you that I'm supposed to feel bad about when they die for my sins even though that was their whole purpose.
We can read Egyptian hieroglyphics. They kept extensive records. No mention of using Jewish slaves to build the pyramids, them revolting, a royal named Moses or a Red Sea parting.
Although interestingly Moses is actually a fairly common Egyptian name but the guys who wrote the Bible didn't seem to know that. They made a different story about the name's origin (She named him Moses (Moshe), saying, 'I drew him out (meshitihu) of the water'.)
It's very weak, of course, but it's a hint that there might be some truth to the Moses was in Egypt story.
Gotta start somewhere....keanu reeves whatever GIF Giphy
An omnipotent being is used to explain the origin of everything in this universe, but there's no explanation for the origin of said omnipotent being.
Where is the lineage?
Adam and Eve had 3 sons...
The bible (and most ancient scripture) is notorious for not listing daughters of people unless they have a key role to play in the religion and/or government. Normally only list the males because of the "lineage."
Virgin Mary had a child. Glances suspiciously at churches/catholic schools stating abstinence is 100% effective in avoiding a pregnancy.
Not really a plot hole in the Christianity , but a plot hole in the interpretation of it.
Christianity was originally highly Jewish based and they didn't like Romans, a few centuries later it was Roman/ European based and they heavily discriminated Jewish people. What?
This one is easily explained and historically substantiated. Rome was working furiously to kill all the Christians. However, it just wasn't working. It seemed the more that they killed, the more their numbers would grow. Constantine saw a political opportunity and followed the advice of the old adage "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" and officially changed the religion of Rome to Christianity. Most consider it a politically motivated decision. The Catholics say he converted himself and the entire country and they recognize him as an important figure in the history of their religion.
Lilith, who was Eve before Eve. She was created first to be equal to Adam, but didn't take kindly to constantly being told what to do, so she was kicked out of paradise (or left of her own will maybe). She supposedly had sex with angels or something, creating other tribes. Then God was like, "Well, screwed that one up. Next one will be a total sub." And so he made Eve out of a piece of Adam to make sure we always remember that women are owned by men.
To the Point!
I could live my entire life, adhering completely to the Christian moral compass, save millions of lives, treat every person with the utmost respect and dignity, refuse all toxic thoughts and actions, and yet (according to most Christian dogma) I would still burn in hell for eternity if I didn't believe the Christian God exists.
That sentiment alone tells me that morality, and the course of our lives in general, is irrelevant in the end. All that matters is that the Christian God gets recognition. That God, to me, sounds more narcissistic than benevolent and loving. And therefore, is not a God I wish to worship.
There's also issues such as, if God is truly omnipotent and omniscient then he could have purged the world of all suffering and pain. But he hasn't because... he loves us? Because somehow the gift of free will, and therefore the gift of imperfection is more important than letting your children suffer and experience pain? Some children are born into poverty, beaten, starved, and killed before 10 years of age, without ever seeing kindness. What's the lesson there God? Why must you treat the creations you love with such disdain solely to "make a point."
I could go on. There's so many issues I have with that belief system and narrative.
It's about Me!
God teaches us that it is a sin to be envious, and to be prideful, and that we must have compassion and understanding for others. And yet he will literally condemn someone to an eternity in hell for not worshiping him, even if said person has literally never heard of him.
Morals be damned
No longer religious, but one of the biggest contradictions in Christianity is that human beings by nature are morally imperfect beings. Yet a necessary component for the forgiveness of sins includes having the right sort of beliefs toward Jesus. How does it make sense that a person's eternal destiny relies solely on an imperfect being having a specific belief. I think we can all agree that human beings are morally imperfect, but I'd argue that they're far more imperfect when it comes to having true beliefs (assuming Christianity was true). It seems entirely unfair that that is the thing that people are judged on. People would have to be epistemically perfect to be judged on their beliefs.
Woofdon bluth 80s GIF Giphy
The concept of eternal peace and joy in heaven sounds very psychologically degrading long term. It sounds like living like a pet dog.
It's said that god's first plan was to just create Adam. Then Adam started complaining about him wanting to be alone and out of parts God took from Adam he made Eve.
But here's my question, how would Adam have reproduced if he wouldn't have felt the need for a female companion? Gay sex? With himself? Did he have reproductive organs that could just spit out Adam 2.0?
525,600 Minutes....idina menzel GIF by Rent the Musical Giphy
That the earth way created in 3 day. How tf were there days before the earth existed? Was God measuring 'days' based off another planet he created?
Well first he separates light from darkness and that's the first day, right? Assuming whoever wrote that down wasn't aware of other planets or that the earth revolved around the sun or even turned, just that light is intermittent and one cycle of light + dark is a day. Not great, but it does make sense.
I know someone who's Baha'i. They believe that every prophet talked about the same God, but according to what He wanted/thought was best at that certain time, and they believe that god is only good. No need to get deep with that second thing, and for the first one, smthg that kinda pisses me off, seeing how incoherent it is, they recognize every prophet, until Baha'u'llah (19th century).
The ones who came after, welp, don't care. But according to their faith, they should follow the most recent religion. Tho, they also say there are some fake prophets who act for their own pleasure etc etc. So here's the thing, and i guess i should ask, to see if they all believe that.
Not my religion, but why a Christian will condemn someone to Hell for being gay (condemning someone to Hell also being forbidden), because Leviticus, while eating shrimp and covered in tattoos, also Leviticus. Then telling the gay person it's ok for the Christian because Christ loves them, and he's cool with it. Isn't sin, sin? Is there only a 30 day sentence for eating shrimp, but death penalty for loving someone of your same sex?
So spiteful....morgan freeman i'm god GIF Giphy
The fact that God literally killed humanity because they were all sinners, but then he says love your fellow human.
billions & billions....
I used to be Catholic; I'm now an atheist.
But, if Jesus came to save everyone from sin 2,000 years ago, what about all the other human beings who lived and died 150,000 years before he showed up? Why weren't they saved? Christians will tell you that God saved them anyway, but why do we then have to deal with the can of worms Jesus opened and we have to follow the Ten Commandments and go to Church and tithe and everything else when they didn't have to?
There are about 100 billion galaxies each with about 100 billion stars; the odds are very favorable that intelligent life exists elsewhere containing civilizations who will rise up and go extinct before we ever even get CLOSE to finding them. Are they saved? Why didn't Jesus go to them?
The Bible is an arbitrary collection. Works were edited, things were lost in translation, books of the Bible were accumulated over time and voted on by councils; some made it in, some didn't. Given that it's basically held together by centuries of drafts and edits and additions and subtractions, how can we trust it? Yet, it's supposed to be THE word of God.
...I could go on.
There's nothing like being raised Catholic to make you a nonbeliever lol.
The best warriors are chosen upon death and half of them is sent to Valhalla.
The problem is that it's the worse half of the chosen. So you have to get enough battle prowess but not too much if you want to get to Valhalla... or you can use the Persuasion skill, of course.
Outside the Lines
Not really a "plot" hole, but an ethical one. In the guideline book for my religion, it makes several references that the means is justified by the end.
"Lets flood the entire planet and kill off trillions of life forms to get rid of evil."
"Reduce a city to ash for sinning, and anybody who looks at it turns to ash too."
"Im gonna make this one guy in particular lose literally everything he has; job, family, estate, etc., to prove that he will still worship me" -God
Even outside of the book of guidelines, people say it all the time.
"God is only putting us through this hardship so that we come out better."
I heard someone say that God made Coronavirus so that we could develop faster as a planet.
Someone said that school shootings were good, so that kids could get more protection in school.
But really? You're telling me that the hundreds of thousands of lives that have been lost are all worth it? Yeah, we've come a long way. But I would rather have these kids alive, right now.
I am Jewish. I am also a massive ancient history nerd.
In one of the first parts of the Torah, Abraham "returns to the land of the Philistines."
Problem: There were no Philistines at the putative time of Abraham. Even from the perspective of Biblical narrative.
The Philistines arrive at the end of the 1200s BCE and were only barely established in the current Gaza area by the time the Israelites start establishing themselves in portions of modern0day Israel/Palestine.
The chronology is just plain wrong.
No Matter What
It's not my religion but....
"I love everyone no matter what" followed by "You better love me back or I'm gonna hate you forever and torture you for eternity" followed by "I don't love those people neither should you, what you should do is make their lives a living hell."
And on the 5th?
I don't believe in any kind of God but I've always found it funny how in the bible, God made the sun on the fourth day. How could there have been any days before that?
Yeah so I believe in the original translation it says God created the world in 4 time periods, not really days. So it could have taken thousands of years, and Moses just used "time periods" because he wasn't there and didn't know how long God spent on each creation.
Loosed Inspired Bywriting GIF Giphy
Literally every biblical story. The more I read it, the less sense it makes.
Also the fact that we have to listen to some men who were "supposedly inspired by God" to write misogynistic crap and give stronger grounds to their own selfish need for power.
Bad with Names
If Jesus' mother was told by an angel that she was going to bear the messiah in the book of Luke, why did she and the rest of the family go chasing after Jesus telling everyone he was out of his head in the opening pages of Mark?
Three separate storytellers and written down 70-110 years after the death of the Messiah by others, not the actual apostles.
This is my problem with some religions: Why would you condemn us to hell if there's no/circumstantial evidence for your specific religion? If God just wanted us to have faith, why would he think we wouldn't worship other deities with the same amount of proof? Agnostic btw.
It's harder to believe than fiction.
But fiction (usually) tries to follow a path of logic and is at least somewhat reasonable in events and characters. Also the plotholes are usually few are defendable as "the character didn't think of that". The same cannot be said for any religion I have looked into.
Satan the Greatdevil satan GIF Giphy
If Satan punishes those who sin, wouldn't he be considered a good guy?
Alternatively, if Satan is a bad guy, why would he punish other sinners?
Perfect Word of God
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all have different conflicting accounts of what happened regarding the empty tomb. Did just Mary go alone or did the other Mary go too? Was there an earthquake or did the stone instantly move away or was the stone already rolled away? Did one or two or no angels show and talk to them? Did they go and tell everyone or were they too afraid to? Did they find Jesus was gone and then called the disciples to come see or did the angels tell them to go tell all the disciples? Did Jesus appear in the tomb and talk to Mary?
This is one of the plot holes that led me from being a firm believer fundamentalist to an agnostic wishy washy whatevs guy :D
Now my Christian belief system has to come to terms with the Perfect Word of God and the imperfect accounts in the Old and New Testaments.
Idk about plot holes in my religion, but I like one thing the most in my religion, it mentions a third form of life (apart from a man and woman) and I realized ancient India was very gender fluid, in fact even today whenever a baby is about to be born or is just born, Transgender people go to the new baby's house to give the baby blessing, it is considered auspicious. But ever since Britishers left India, LGBTQ+ community has been looked down upon. I hope they get the same recognition like the ancient times.
I am not that religious, I just was more curious about hinduism in quarantine coz boredom was eating me up so I thought let's try the spiritual way what my parents do lmao.
Do you read?
Raised Catholic, now Protestant. As a Catholic, I looked at the Protestants and thought "WTF, 1500 years after Jesus and suddenly you create your own church?" Now I'm like "Have you Catholics even read the Bible?" Main conclusion I've come to is that people are limited in what they can fully understand, so we all try to hold onto that small part we can grasp. So I'm chill with anyone who affirms Matthew 22, Chapters 36-40.
Silly Humansparty dancing GIF Giphy
Humans just invented religion to have a little more sense in life and how everything is the way it is. For humans everything must have a meaning, since all the things we invented make a sense and have a function, even we people ourselves need to have a function, but that's maybe not how the world is built, we are not here for any reason, it's only a happenstance that we exist, that life on our world exists. That's why I believe more in aliens than I believe in any kind of god. Sorry for the bad english by the way.
I'm right here Y'all!
That Judas betrayal of Jesus doesn't make sense.
Jesus wasn't hiding. He rode into Jerusalem in broad daylight. Everyone knew he was coming. Judas' help wasn't needed to catch him.
I'm a lapsed catholic. Idolatry is one of the biggest "plot holes." If you worship the virgin Mary or any other saint you are as a matter of fact doing blasphemy. Don't come with the argument of them being a "middle man." Speak to god directly. The worship of saints is pretty much polytheism with yahweh (christian god) being Zeus's equivalent.
So Many ???Confused Dogs GIF by moodman Giphy
Former catholic.. still waiting for somebody to explain Jesus's DNA situation is.. is he haploid? Where does his Y chromosome come from? So many questions.
Watch & Learn
Bring on the downvotes bc I know I'm going to get them.
No bible is the word of God written by man. They are the words of MEN written by MEN.
FFS there are over 1,000 denominations of Christianity alone, each knowing their version is the right one and all others are blasphemy.
Not to mention every bible from each religion is packed with contradictions...
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Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?
You're not alone.
Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.
Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.
AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"
Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.
"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015
"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo
"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz
"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades
Take Your Pick
"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100
"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer
"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er
"Lembas" -- Roxwords
"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister
Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.
The One and Only
"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox
"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits
"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo
"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified
"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85
"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy
Get a Big Old Chunk
"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."
Slurp, Slurp, Slurp
"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox
"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM
"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun
Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.
That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.
What's In It??
"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes
"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth
Slice of the Future
"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91
"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros
As Sweet As They Had
"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon
"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes
"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade
Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.
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When a movie rakes in a ton of cash at the box office, the studio that made it has only one thing on its mind: "How do we keep shaking this money tree?"
Unfortunately, that means they make sequels, sometimes sequels on sequels on sequels.
At times, the sequels are solid. They tie nicely into the first film, emphasizing the qualities that brought folks out to the first one, while immersing them into that world for another great couple of hours.
But sometimes, it's wildly clear that the longterm planning behind a sequel was minimal at best. These part two's are truly terrible experiences, made even more disappointing by the excitement created by everyone's love for the first.
Some Redditors shared the worst examples.
Sullivans97 asked, "What is the worst movie sequel ever?"
Plenty of contributions to the thread were noteworthy simply because the Redditors' deep hatred for a sequel spurred them to write a very entertaining review.
"Son of the Mask. Worst sequel. Worst movie. Worst piece of entertainment. Worst experience to sit through as a human being."
Oddly Specific Analogy
"Independence Day: Resurgence."
"What the fu** was that giant heap of steaming camel sh**?"
Two Key Elements
"The plot is mostly driven by Mushu acting like a real piece of sh**, and Shang gets turned into the butt monkey of the movie as a consequence."
"Vastly inferior to the first one."
Just Horrible Decisions Every Step of the Way
"Where is Speed 2?"
"Speeding cruise ship (Zzzzzzz)"
"WTF were they thinking?"
Other people chose to discuss the sequels that, for whatever reason, chose not to include the key attributes that made the first movie so good.
Whether it was the absence of character, actor, or overarching theme, the experience was as puzzling as it was frustrating.
Insert Muscle Here
"Kindergarten Cop 2. Yes it does exist and it is a bad as it sounds. Dolph Lundgren takes over the role of Schwarzenegger." -- TheBassMeister
"Bro, don't be such a jabroni. Imagine, a super ripped, super smart cop-in a mesh tank top-named officer Dolph Lundgren." -- why_not_fandy
"Ugh wtf the movie was great why make another one" -- c_girl_108
"American Psycho 2. It wasn't even originally intended to be a sequel, they just shoved the name on it and added loose references to Patrick Bateman. Awful." -- Mountain_Situation89
"Mila kunas who is in it was told it was a different name and was pissed when they ended up making it a 'sequel' " -- Imfrank123
"Yea, that's the thing. The movie would have been a decent film if it was just a serial killer film and not an AP sequel." -- JennyBean2000
"It had some okay parts, but what they did to Justin Long's character completely undercuts the meaning of the first movie. And no Ryan Reynolds."
Last, some people realized that any film franchise that goes beyond two installments is just asking for things to go downhill in a hurry.
Once you cross three--and even four--your just too far from the source.
What Even Is Home Alone 5?
"Home Alone 3, 4, and 5" -- theWet_Bandits
"I honestly enjoyed 3, sure it made no sense at all, but I can look past that and really enjoyed it. 4 and 5 on the other hand, I barely remember what 4 was about and had completely forgotten that 5 existed until just now." -- botbattler30
End of the Mummy Era
"The third Mummy movie." -- goshawkgirl
"Fun fact: The trailer for Mummy 3 has Brendan Fraser saying "here we go again" and Ben Stiller thought that line was ironically hilarious in terms of cranking out soulless sequels and it inspired the 'here we go again....again' line in the fake trailers at the beginning of Tropic Thunder." -- Call_Me_Koala
Part of the Reboot Frenzy
"Not to repeat others here (hopefully), but the 4th Indiana Jones movie should never have been made."
"For what it is worth, The odd numbers are great, the even numbers are terrible with the last one being one being Steven Segal bad."
So there you have it. A full list of movies to avoid at all costs no matter how bored you are flicking through Netflix lists.
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Oftentimes I like to do my best Ghostface impression and aggressively ask people what their favorite scary movies are. Because I personally have a lot! At the same time, I'm also terrified that at any point, I could end up getting my head punched off by Jason Vorhees (Part 8 of the series--best one IMO).
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.the simpsons react GIFGiphy
My friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
Don’t you hate when that happens?Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
I was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.Giphy
I am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
I hate hypocrites. They are the bane of my existence. All you have to do is stand behind your words. How hard is that? You said them. I especially get peeved when people bloviate on a topic and condemn and holler but then when it comes to them doing it... silence.Redditor u/ErrForceOnes wanted to know about the moments people chose to curiously "pay no mind" by asking... What is a GIANT hypocrisy that no one seems to mind?
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphy
Italian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDSGIF by MOODMANGiphy
People screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
FashionFashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphy
If a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016Giphy
Politicians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.