Relationship Experts Share What You Should Know Before Getting Married

Relationship Experts Share What You Should Know Before Getting Married

[rebelmouse-image 18358071 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Getting married is an exciting and pivotal time in our lives that comes with a lot of changes. There are a ton details that you should know about before getting married because life is a whole different ballgame from your single or dating life. Commitment is work and sometimes some unexpected changes happen.

EssamSidqi asks:

What should you know before getting married?

Change is bound to happen

[rebelmouse-image 18359343 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

That people often change throughout their lives, but not just because they got married. Many people get married with either the expectation that marriage will change their SO or that the person will stay the same forever. Neither are correct. People will change, but not always in the ways that you expect and you have to be willing to adapt to them.

The In-laws...

[rebelmouse-image 18359344 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

How they relate to their family and if you can handle it.

If, say, your partner's family is nauseatingly close and loves to spend time together, are you down with that? Is your partner good at setting boundaries?

In-laws can destroy relationships.

Make sure you choose the right one, or you will have to pay in more than one way

[rebelmouse-image 18359345 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Divorces are expensive.

You better work!

[rebelmouse-image 18359346 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

It's work, and it's everyday work. If you want a healthy relationship you need to tend to that relationship.

Something on the positive side

[rebelmouse-image 18346487 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

As a recent widower I can only say this: Nothing is forever. Cherish every moment you have together. Good, bad, or mundane.

The holiday stress

[rebelmouse-image 18359347 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Where you're going to spend holidays.

How much time you're going to spend with each family.

Most people don't realize how much stress each other's families bring to the table. Always be a united front.

Don't forget who you are

[rebelmouse-image 18354759 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Don't lose your individualism. My best friend recently got divorced and discovered that he didn't even know what he liked to do anymore. The person you're going to marry fell in love with YOU. Don't lose that. It's okay to have different hobbies/interests.

There are wrong reasons to get married.

[rebelmouse-image 18350539 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Make sure you're both getting married for the right reasons. Not to save a relationship or because it is what they want or to keep family happy.

Communication is key

[rebelmouse-image 18359348 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Divorced..

You should know that while you think you might be communicating well, you can always do better. What I mean by that is that relationships take rigorous honesty and compassion.

The staples of compatibility...

[rebelmouse-image 18359349 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

That you agree on the important topics:

Children (and how to raise them)

Finances/Expenditures

Future Plans

Religion

These are the likeliest topics to have little to no compromise on so if you disagree drastically it will eventually cause a rift.

Marriage does not fix problems

[rebelmouse-image 18359350 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

That if your relationship is on the rocks getting married won't fix it.

Compromising

[rebelmouse-image 18348685 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

It's probably never going to be 50/50. Somebody is usually going to be carrying more of the load. As long as the burdened partner is not the same one all of the time, you can make it work. Just my opinion.

Learn how to sort disagreements out

[rebelmouse-image 18359351 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

When you fight, remember that you two are on the same side.

Sometimes it'll feel like it's you versus her... whenever it feels like that, Stop. Back up. Figure out how it's you both versus the world (or you both versus the fear they're feeling, or you both versus the problems you're having or whatever...) and not the two of you against each other.

Hell, try to remember that when you're not fighting too.

If you can't do this... well, I won't say "don't get married"... but do work on this, it's important.

marriage is about support and love

[rebelmouse-image 18359352 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Your SO most likely fell in love with the best and strongest version of you. When you get married, make sure that your SO will still love you when you're down. It's a lifetime. Hard times will come. This goes both ways.

Also, marriage is work. If you don't put effort into it, it becomes boring.

A true test...

[rebelmouse-image 18345730 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Go to Ikea together. It's like Hunger Games for relationships.

This is a deal breaker

[rebelmouse-image 18359353 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Your SO's stance on having children. This really needs to be talked out fully. Even if you both end on a maybe, it should be an honest maybe from both parties.

This is a great test

[rebelmouse-image 18346101 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Pretend you aren't going to have a wedding. Still wanna get married?

Take time for the two of you

[rebelmouse-image 18359355 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Don't forget to continue going on dates after you're married

It's all about your mindset

[rebelmouse-image 18359356 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Being married is just hanging with your best friend every day. Treat them like you would your very best, best friend, and you'll do just fine.

People Divulge The Scariest Thing That's Ever Happened To Them
Photo by Josh Nuttall on Unsplash

All of us have fears which some might call irrational.

Up to and including ghosts, witches, monsters.

But more often than not, reality can be far scarier than the supernatural.

And there are very few people indeed who don't have a memory of a moment when they were truly and genuinely scared.

And not by an otherworldly encounter, but by things that could quite literally happen to anyone.

Redditor GodhimselfUwU was curious to hear the scariest experiences people have lived through, leading them to ask:

"What’s the scariest non-supernatural thing that ever happened to you?"
Keep reading... Show less

Having to work for a living is hard work.

Some jobs come with difficulty and two extra sides of stress.

So the last thing people need is unwarranted hate.

I'm so glad I work from home. Writing alone.

I have issues with me, but that I can deal with.

I do hate internet issues.

But that is warranted.

Redditor PM_ME_URFOOD wanted to talk about the jobs where a ridiculous amount of vitriol is all part of a days work. They asked:

"What profession gets an unjustified amount of hate?"
Keep reading... Show less
People Explain Which Items In Life Should Always Be Free
Photo by Levi Ventura on Unsplash

Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.

Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!

Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.

Keep reading... Show less
Women Share The Biggest Downsides To Having Breasts
Chichi Onyekanne/Unsplash

The worst part of having breasts is Florida.

I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.

Keep reading... Show less