Relationship Experts Share What You Should Know Before Getting Married

Getting married is an exciting and pivotal time in our lives that comes with a lot of changes. There are a ton details that you should know about before getting married because life is a whole different ballgame from your single or dating life. Commitment is work and sometimes some unexpected changes happen.

EssamSidqi asks:

What should you know before getting married?

Change is bound to happen

That people often change throughout their lives, but not just because they got married. Many people get married with either the expectation that marriage will change their SO or that the person will stay the same forever. Neither are correct. People will change, but not always in the ways that you expect and you have to be willing to adapt to them.

The In-laws...

How they relate to their family and if you can handle it.

If, say, your partner's family is nauseatingly close and loves to spend time together, are you down with that? Is your partner good at setting boundaries?

In-laws can destroy relationships.

Make sure you choose the right one, or you will have to pay in more than one way

Divorces are expensive.

You better work!

It's work, and it's everyday work. If you want a healthy relationship you need to tend to that relationship.

Something on the positive side

As a recent widower I can only say this: Nothing is forever. Cherish every moment you have together. Good, bad, or mundane.

The holiday stress

Where you're going to spend holidays.

How much time you're going to spend with each family.

Most people don't realize how much stress each other's families bring to the table. Always be a united front.

Don't forget who you are

Don't lose your individualism. My best friend recently got divorced and discovered that he didn't even know what he liked to do anymore. The person you're going to marry fell in love with YOU. Don't lose that. It's okay to have different hobbies/interests.

There are wrong reasons to get married.

Make sure you're both getting married for the right reasons. Not to save a relationship or because it is what they want or to keep family happy.

Communication is key

Divorced..

You should know that while you think you might be communicating well, you can always do better. What I mean by that is that relationships take rigorous honesty and compassion.

The staples of compatibility...

That you agree on the important topics:

Children (and how to raise them)

Finances/Expenditures

Future Plans

Religion

These are the likeliest topics to have little to no compromise on so if you disagree drastically it will eventually cause a rift.

Marriage does not fix problems

That if your relationship is on the rocks getting married won't fix it.

Compromising

It's probably never going to be 50/50. Somebody is usually going to be carrying more of the load. As long as the burdened partner is not the same one all of the time, you can make it work. Just my opinion.

Learn how to sort disagreements out

When you fight, remember that you two are on the same side.

Sometimes it'll feel like it's you versus her... whenever it feels like that, Stop. Back up. Figure out how it's you both versus the world (or you both versus the fear they're feeling, or you both versus the problems you're having or whatever...) and not the two of you against each other.

Hell, try to remember that when you're not fighting too.

If you can't do this... well, I won't say "don't get married"... but do work on this, it's important.

marriage is about support and love

Your SO most likely fell in love with the best and strongest version of you. When you get married, make sure that your SO will still love you when you're down. It's a lifetime. Hard times will come. This goes both ways.

Also, marriage is work. If you don't put effort into it, it becomes boring.

A true test...

Go to Ikea together. It's like Hunger Games for relationships.

This is a deal breaker

Your SO's stance on having children. This really needs to be talked out fully. Even if you both end on a maybe, it should be an honest maybe from both parties.

This is a great test

Pretend you aren't going to have a wedding. Still wanna get married?

Take time for the two of you

Don't forget to continue going on dates after you're married

It's all about your mindset

Being married is just hanging with your best friend every day. Treat them like you would your very best, best friend, and you'll do just fine.

CHUTTERSNAP/Unsplash

Being woken up suddenly is not very good for our health.

Especially for the elderly, it's not something to make a habit of. Sleep interruption can increase blood pressure, cause a worsened self image, and cause a day filled with irritation and confusion.

No one wants to be woken up, but there are definitely some reasons for being woken up that are worse than your alarm clock.

We went to Ask Reddit to find out some of the worst reasons people have been woken up.

Keep reading... Show less

People have a habit of excusing crap behavior - honestly because it's often easier in the short term. Long term = flaming dumpster fire.

Keep reading... Show less

We live in a time where we are critically re-examining how we pay workers. After a two-year-long pandemic where some low-income and "unskilled" jobs were deemed "essential," we now must put our money where our mouth is.

For too long in the world have incredibly important jobs been overlooked or else outright maligned. Teachers in the USA make some of the least money, career-wise, and have some of the hardest jobs. Dancers pay to put their bodies through hell with no guarantee of paid work after training.

Keep reading... Show less

What causes a small town to die?

Honestly, there can be quite a few factors, but perhaps the biggest one is that small towns often lack the upward mobility opportunities that are more available in urban areas.

As a result, many towns around the United States for instance have lost tens of millions of people as their populations seek jobs and opportunities elsewhere.

And what remains of these places can be pretty sketchy.

People told us more after Redditor RadicalizedSnackWrap asked the online community,

"What's a super sketchy US city that we never hear about?"
Keep reading... Show less