Relationship Experts Share The Biggest Red Flags In Friendships
When is it time to say "bye-bye" to a friend? Yes, we know all about toxic relationships and red flags, but what about friendships? As a type of relationship, they can have their own toxicity.
u/captainneilmars asked Reddit:
Here were some of the answers.
Behind The Back
When they only talk crap about their other friends to you. Calling you their "best friend" too quickly, when you feel not even close to the same.
Blah Blah Blah
I have a friend who I still love because I don't think she knows how bad she is. We often had long conversations talking about events in her life (her crushes, her worries, what made her mad) and I liked it since I don't like talking about myself for a longer time and like to listen to people. I thought it was a mutual friendship and that she would listen to me too when I wanted to talk.
Nope. We once met for a drink when I was accepted at an art school and I wanted to talk about the assignments we had to do and she deflected the conversation to a relationship problem she had.
We were on vacation together and I wanted to talk about a philosophy in a show I liked since it meant much to me and that I wanted to get a tattoo from that show but she interrupted me to ask a question about the air conditioner, threw herself on the bed and looked at instagram posts.
I've honestly never had a friend that was so disinterested in me but still expected me to listen to her talk. If she didn't have other redeeming qualities and was part of the friend group I'm in I would let her fall like a wet sack of potatoes.
Failure To Land
One of my friends upset me once, and I told him the comment he made about me offended me, and he said it was all banter and he didn't see anything wrong with it. After that, he just kept escalating it, and I found out later from a mutual friend that he thought it was funny that I got offended and said, "if I'm in the shit list I might as well stay in it and make it worth it". He's tried to just brush it under a rug and be all buddy-buddy again, but I don't really want to give the impression that his attitude was okay, so I've just stayed away - haven't spoken to him since, can't say I've missed the company.
I've had friends that are so worried about their image that even after years of friendship they refuse to be themselves or admit their flaws. Instead when we hangout it's like there is this facade. Interactions are super shallow and there's no room for personal growth.
My best friends are pretty blunt. I once asked one if she thought I had alcoholic tendencies, and she was like, "no sh*t, look at who we hang out it. We're all alcoholics. We should work on that." Then we did. Or one time a friend of mine walked three miles while working in the back country so she could get cell phone service, to make sure I went through with getting a counseling appointment.
Not the most pleasant stuff, but because of the honesty I've grown as an individual.
Take Take Take
I have friends that have been hitting a bunch of red flags as of late:
Only reaches out when they want something or when boyfriend is unavailable. Otherwise you're nobody. There's weeks where I don't see or hear them and then I get a "can I borrow your car to help my bf" message. Lol no.
Doesn't offer congratulations for good news. Instead gives criticism and downplays your achievements.
Never reaching out but plays victim of Facebook about how lonely they are
Ignores/disregards/downplays your concerns ("You didn't use a condom/plan b? Pls go get a checkup" "I don't see why you're making this such an issue")
My friend and I were talking outside after class when I realized I was on the verge of fainting. I quickly sat down and said this to her.
She said "okay" and continued talking.
I thought, "Uh, okay... Did she not hear me?" so I repeated myself and said I should go to the nearby Starbucks to get something to eat or drink (since, ya know, it's 115° and I'm about to faint).
She said okay and that she had to go.
She left, I wobbled to Starbucks and then headed home still feeling a bit suspect.
Sadly, I didn't see this as a red flag until over a year later... I had completely forgotten about it. I was going through some stuff at the time so I just thought, "Maybe not all friends care about that or think they need to help you?"
Well, if that's true, that's not the behavior I'm looking for in a friend.
Oh Well The Red Flag O-Wagon Is A Comin
-Self Absorbed (ONLY talk about themselves and their lives instead of letting others talk, basically thinks the world revolves around them. OR, always change the conversation to be about them and their past experiences even when it's not anywhere near what you just said.)
- Always have something to complain about when it comes to what you're doing (IF what you're doing isn't wrong/bad)
- Complains about you not opening up to them and rarely sees your own friends, but they don't make the effort in reaching out and always make plans without you.
- Expect you to pay for her (Not once or twice... but ALL the time)
- Texts you to go out to 'hang out' but actually just needed a ride to go to the mall to buy some stuff while we 'hang out'.
"Let's get together this weekend! I'll give you a call Friday so we can make plans." Sunday, still no call or text...
Always telling you gossip about someone else, they will tell your gossip to someone else.
"It's your turn to buy/pay/pick/etc." nah b*tch, pay your half.
Friends AND Roommates
- Never on top of their things or schedule. For example, you go to hang out with them and meet up with them and they are consistently late or unorganized with something (Tom failing to pack his stuff up before moving in Parks and Rec comes to mind).
- In the age of social media, someone always telling you they want to hang out but never inviting you. In my experience it can lead to being taken advantage of.
- Very clingy friendships, something isn't healthy in that relationship.
- A friend that spends a lot of time putting others down, especially being really critical, and past the point of just a joke. In addition to being very critical/judgmental all the time, they are also very arrogant or braggy about themselves.
- A friend that always has to be right, can't admit they are wrong, must get in the last word, etc.
Specifically in the case of friends/roommates:
- People not pulling their fair share of housework (cleaning, yard work, etc.).
- Roommates making changes to the lease or not following the lease and not telling you.
- Roommates that spend their rent money on a TV or something unnecessarily expensive and have to borrow.
- Loud/inconsiderate/messy roommates that don't even think about their actions possibly being annoying or frustrating to live with.
- Roommates that don't respect personal space, enter rooms without knocking, always wanting to hang out without giving any time to oneself.
"Jokes" that seem off color, especially in response to you expressing something positive or a win in life.
For example, I told a work friend that I lost a bit of weight since switching a medication and how I felt like my clothes fit better.. her response was never "Aw that's great!" But instead she said "you're the girl who thinks she's a size 8 but is actually a 14"
Ok first off, excuse me WHAT?!
She laughed hysterically and said "I'm only joking!"
No. This sh-t ain't cute. Also I have clothes ranging from size 8 to 14. They all fit. Wtf u doin, womens fashion??
When I first met one of my sisters in law from my husbands side, I was trying to be super nice and get to to know her. For the first two months, she called me every single day. I'm not over exaggerating, every single day. We would be on the phone for up to two hours and the entire time she talked about herself and if I tried to say something, she would either interrupt or ignore what I say and keep going on talking about herself. At one point, she called me 8 times in a day and I got so frustrated I called my husband crying and told him I can't deal with her constant calls. After that, I told her to call if it's something important, otherwise I don't have time to talk to her. She's now mad at me and no longer talks to me.
Walk On By
5 years ago i had an accident at work and ended up spending 6 months in the hospital to recover from what should have been a paralyzing back injury.
Finally get out of the hospital, get home, and find that my housephone is showing hundreds of missed calls, all from my 'friend' call her up and she starts SCREAMING at me over the phone how i could just forget being friends with her when i cant even be bothered to pick up the phone for 'a year'.
I just hung up, and a mutual friend of ours relayed a simple message "If you actually read my FB posts, you would know i just spent 6 months in the ICU with no cellphone"
took her like 2 weeks to come crawling back when she needed money for her car payment.
My friends asked me to give them a ride to the hospital when I was in labor. I repeat, when I was in labor...
A bit late to the thread, but I had a friend who lives literally one street away from me. He called me at 4 am to help him jump start his car in the rain, so he could get home from his girlfriend's house. Even though I was sleeping, I dropped everything and went to jump his car. About a month or so later, I'm preparing to go to class and now my battery had died and I needed a jump. I called him up.
He vaguely says he'll be there in a little bit. Now keep in mind our houses are about a ~45 second drive apart. Half an hour goes by, he's not there. An hour.... two.. three.. five..nothing. Didn't answer his fucking phone for 5 hours.. When he finally did answer, I found out he went to get sushi with a different friend AFTER he said he would help me. What pissed me off the most, was that he literally drove PAST my house to go get sushi. I'm still fucking bitter about that.
Emily Post Mortem
She told me I was invited to a party given by someone else. Was young and naive. She had no transportation so I got pick her up. We are at the party and the hostess came up to me and said in front of everyone, "I didn't know you were invited!" I was mortified and spent the rest of the evening waiting in the car for her ass to be ready to go home. To this day, will never accept a second hand invitation. F--- you, Janet, wherever you are.
Broken Bro Code
Oh boy. Have I got a story for you guys. This was over 5 years ago. My brother calls me up. He's flying out, needs a ride to a bachelor party. The bachelor can't pick him up for whatever reason. Now, this is just a bad situation, because he's flying in to an airport about 8 hours north of where I live. The bachelor lives about 2-3 hours west of that. My brother cannot rent a car. My brother tells me I'll love the bachelor, he's a great guy, my wife and I can crash on his couches, we'll get breakfast in the morning, and then we go home. Why I agreed to this I do not know, but my brother was in my wedding (in fact he was my best man) so how can I refuse him? Also I think I was sick or something was wrong with me at the time, I don't know.
So anyway, the day comes and we make the drive. We pick my brother up, we grab lunch, it's a good day. We drive out to his buddy's house. His buddy greets my brother and tells us that we can go now. I look at my brother like WTF dude. He's just like, "sorry, nothing I can do." But he tells us we should just get a hotel room in town and we'll all meet up the next morning for breakfast like we planned. My wife and I both didn't want to be there. So we left. We were about 10 hours from home and it was late, so we did get a hotel room, about halfway home. We actually got a room at a Hilton, with a coupon from one of those travel guides it was like $80. Not too bad. Also it was, I think, a Wednesday or Thursday night. One of the nicest rooms we've stayed in. Did our own thing.
Didn't really talk to my brother for a year or so after. He never apologized. In his eyes we were both a--holes, it was his buddy's special weekend and we stood him up for breakfast, the whole ride thing disregarded. And, you know, maybe we were wrong for bailing on him. His friend should have picked him up from the airport. The fact that he was unwilling to do that, and completely unwilling to even recognize the people who drove over 20 hours round trip to do that for him, made him the biggest jerk. All around a bad situation. We should have simply said no and put his friend in the position to decide if he really wanted my brother at his wedding. (My brother flew out on his own dime, if that matters. So no, the friend did not even fly him out. Honestly I don't think the friend really cared that much about my brother at all.)
Reddit user kingpin000 asked: 'What failed when it was initially released, but turned out to be ahead of its time years later?'
It is not uncommon in this world for people to be underappreciated or even ridiculed for their work because they were ahead of their time. Nicolaus Copernicus was mocked for his theory that the universe was heliocentric. Jackson Polluck's art was only revered posthumously.
This is true for many things, including inventions, movies, video games, and even restaurants.
Redditors know this all too well. They have identified what things failed when they were initially released but turned out to be ahead of its time, and are eager to share.
It all started when Redditor kingpin000 asked:
"What failed when it was initially released, but turned out to be ahead of its time years later?"
"Viagra. Fascinating history. It was developed as a blood pressure medicine in the 80s. The bonerific side effect was “embarrassing” and “unwanted” in the 80s, but desired a decade or so later when sex became less taboo."
"So, it failed as a mainstream blood pressure pill, but succeeded as a boner pill."
"It's actually used as a blood pressure medication still, but it's for the more rare Pulmonary Hypertension."
That's Why They're Called Sticky Notes
"The glue that became part of Post-Its. The guy who invented them was trying to create a stronger glue for the aerospace industry, but the adhesive he created was a weak adhesive. Years later one of his colleagues used that adhesive to create a bookmark that didn't fall out of the book he was reading. Eventually, that idea became Post-Its."
"If I recall the story correctly, it was a hymn book which had delicate pages."
"The Post-Its adhesive worked great on it by not ripping or ruining the pages."
"I always feel like the Zune and their music model was ahead of its time. 10 dollars month for unlimited downloads while at the time you were paying 1 dollar per single. Now everyone just uses Spotify for the same thing."
"You also got to keep 10 of the songs you downloaded at the end of each month. It was essentially paying for 10 songs with as free streaming on top."
If Only They Waited
"Yes they are everywhere now but the Buicks 1986 model had one, and most cars today have it."
"Hell, the concept was developed in 1965!!!"
"Microsoft pushed a tablet computer about 5 years or so before the iPad got released. It failed miserably and they quickly gave up on the idea."
Almost, But Not Quite
"Vine. They were almost TikTok, but weren’t."
"I don’t understand why Vine died and Tik Tok lives?"
"Because Vine was ahead of its time."
The Big Screen
"The movie Blade Runner."
"Shawshank flopped in the theaters. It's a classic because TNT began airing it because it was cheap. Boys grew up watching Shawshank. Now it's one of IMDb ten greatest films."
"We can also look at It's a Wonderful Life."
"I've said it on here before somewhere. But The Thing went from being an absolute critical bomb at the time... to being one of the most lauded (and rightfully so) horror sci films ever created now. Specific tastes aside, anyone who enjoys horror probably has The Thing in their top 10."
Can't Believe This Flopped
"Bluetooth was released with a huge fanfare and then fizzled for a few years before it really took off."
"This should be a huge one! It flopped on the market for a long time before someone figured out how to use it correctly and now it’s a staple for electronics."
Just When He Got Rid Of It...
"Debit cards. My dad got one in the 70’s when they were a new idea and nobody seemed to understand them and didn’t take them. He finally got rid of his. Now……"
My Favorite Childhood Toy
"Slime (silly putty). originally, it was an attempt to replace rubber during WW2."
"German engineer Andreas Flocken built the first real electric car in 1888. The first electric car in the United States was developed in 1890–91 by William Morrison of Des Moines, Iowa; the vehicle was a six-passenger wagon capable of reaching a speed of 23 km/h (14 mph)."
What Might've Been
"Google Glass the biggest argument against it was ppl being so angry about the wearers filming them. Here we are 10+ years later and everyone films everything everywhere they go. And we have ppl wearing GoPros and other klunky cameras all the time."
"The Google Glass offered AR, filming, assistant functionally, map and web access all in an easy to wear and use piece of tech that was also super cool and futuristic. I think if it had taken off we would have even more advanced models now. It was just WAY too ahead of it's time for widespread adoption. I think it would be wildly popular now."
For Man's Best Friend
"Pets.com. Everyone laughed at the idea after the tech bubble burst. Chewy.com is worth $10B today."
"If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that animal lovers will drop some serious cash."
Shut Up And Drive
"The Sinclair C5 electric vehicle. Complete flop in 1985, but now a thriving hobby as many people are upgrading them with modern batteries, motors, disc brakes, etc. So much fun to drive."
"Can't help but feel had it been succesful, the following iterations would be superior to the e-bikes we have now."
Eye Of The Beholder
"Van Gogh's paintings. Amy Pond from Doctor Who knew how good he was, but none of Vincent's contemporaries did, and he eventually died by his own hand."
Poor Van Gogh. He's my favorite artist!
I'm glad he's appreciated now, even if he wasn't in his own time.
(And this is exactly why Doctor Who's Amy Pond was my favorite companion!)
Life can be destroyed in an instant.
Every single moment of every single day we make choices that can further our existence or ruin it.
Sadly, it often feels like a majority of us choose the latter option.
We only get one life.
Why is it so hard to make the most of it?
We're all guilty of poor decision-making.
That's okay, as long as we learn from it.
It feels like there is always time to right wrongs.
The truth is, there's not.
That clock eventually runs out.
Redditor metalnxrd wanted to hear about the people who have brought personal wreckage to themselves, so they asked:
"Who are some people you know personally, or otherwise, who ruined their own lives, and how?"
I've watched too many people self-destruct.
It all starts in the mirror.
Don't be afraid to look.
All-InSeason 17 What GIF by America's Got TalentGiphy
"Took out a mortgage on his house and leveraged all his other assets to go all-in on Luna coin. It worked beautifully until it didn't."
"Had a buddy who got scouted by professional baseball when we were in high school. They wanted him in the farm system, his mom wanted him in college. So the team allowed it."
"Dude found meth before leaving for college. He never made it there."
"He's now homeless and on his last legs."
"Family member addicted to shopping. She & her husband made really good money and could have had a very comfortable life. Every single year she decided she didn’t like their house, sold at a loss, and then renovated and bought all new designer furniture for every new house. On top of that, she constantly bought multiple pieces of the same designer clothes and jewelry (why?), art, cosmetic procedures etc."
"Eventually they couldn’t even get a mortgage anymore and were in an insane amount of debt, lost their cars and everything else they owned. She ended up stealing her mother’s credit card to use for restaurants and attempted to make a bunch of frivolous lawsuits which just resulted in more legal debt."
Out of Recovery
"I helped an old friend of my mother-in-law for some time, she was in recovery for some years. She had drunk so heavily for so long that she developed a neurological disorder that left her debilitated. She gradually lost her balance, her motor skills and coordination, and is now hospitalized and unable to care for herself."
"She is almost a decade younger than me and her life of independence is over. She will remain bedridden and rely on others for her most basic needs for the remaining years of her life. This is neither far-fetched nor the worst-case scenario, people die from addiction every day."
"Staying in bad relationships, doubling down and marrying and having children. Now they have the same relationship problems that they had ten years ago but with children involved."
Being alone by yourself is better than being alone in a relationship.
If you need a reminder please listen to Ms. Whitney Houston's "It's Not Right, But It's Okay!" on repeat daily.
Tainted LoveShaking Head Reaction GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
"SIL is a trainwreck. Ruined her marriage, ruined her relationship with her kids, lost her house and car, all to be with some abusive piece of crap."
"A friend from HS won a thousand a week for life. Never went to college. Never held down a long-term job. Always worried some lady was trying to take his money by getting pregnant or or stealing it through marriage. Has had a very mediocre life without much progression or new relationships."
"The rest of the friend group used to think he was the luckiest guy alive. Now we all just try to keep his spirits up when we get together and keep our advice to ourselves. He is aware of the solutions to his problems at a 10-mile view but the $1000/week has sapped his will to execute any self-improvement plan."
"Midlife Crisis... Came to a realization they didn't have something they really wanted in their life. Abandoned everything they already had (job, family, friends) to chase that dream. Finally forced to realize what they were chasing was an unobtainable illusion but the damage was already done."
"Someone in our friend group keeps having kids with people and then leaving, screwing him financially because of child support. He can't hold any jobs and has stolen from friends. Right now he's crashing on one of my friend's couches. I dunno why they are allowing him to stay there."
Make better choices.
Do you have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments.
As much as we might like to be, we can't be good at literally everything.
But when we struggle with something that everyone else seems to naturally "get," that can be a hard thing to accept.
Redditor B**IZDeepInUrMom asked:
"What are you below average at?"
"My handwriting is nuts one person described it as looking like a serial killer's mad scribbles."
"A nurse once told me I sign with doctor scribbles."
Carrying a Tune
"Singing. I’m very bad. I only sing in the car and I still fear I may one day be cautioned by police for being so terrible."
"Do you know why I pulled you over? That B was way off-pitch, sir (or ma'am)!! I'm arresting you for murdering that song!"
"One of my biggest fears is pocket-dialing someone while I’m singing in the car."
The Quiet Ones
"Words spoken per day."
"Why say many word, when few word do trick?"
"Yessss, someone who gets it. I use like four words every day at school."
"I go through more, but it's mostly 'Excuse me' and 'Thank you' and other s**t I'm required to say 1,000 times per day to not be thought a sociopath."
"Listening. I'm trying, but it's tough to change a lifetime habit."
"Did you say something?"
Basic Social Interactions
"I SUCK at social interactions."
"'Nice weather today.'"
"A new cringe core memory unlocked."
No Flirting Game
"I'm not good at noticing when someone flirts with me. I'm not even very good at knowing the difference between an extrovert being friendly and them hitting on me."
"My current girlfriend and I met at a club. I was crossing the dance floor; she got in my way, and we had an awkward encounter. Happened a couple more times before I got the clue: 'Oooh, I think she wants us to meet...'"
"Other than my girlfriend, I maintain I have never been flirted with or hit on once."
"Height. I'm only five feet tall."
Elusive Math Skills
"I've always been the kind of guy who 'seems smart' because I'm good with English and communication, and I'm good enough at the kind of 'real world' math like percentages, multiplication, addition and subtraction, etc."
"Then it gets to sh*t like algebra word problems, trig, calculus and I'm suddenly the dumbest person alive and the world thinks I deserve to die alone in poverty. Go figure, eh?"
Poor Sleeping Habits
"Sleeping. As of writing this, I have been struggling to catch up on sleep for about a month and I have been awake for about 16 hours and it is 7:42 AM. I’m so tired."
In Need of Driver's Ed.
"Driving. Watch out for me in the streets!"
"Parallel parking. I’ve been driving for two years now and I’m utter garbage at it. I refuse to parallel park even if there’s no angle parking available."
"My wife claims I’m a pretty lousy mind reader, and I’d have to agree with her."
"Probably the ability to feel good about myself."
"Like, why do I think I'm ugly, or why do I think I'm a good person or why the f**k do I think I am Autistic? Probably because I'm dumb as soup."
"Or you just don't trust your capacity to see yourself more. I struggle with that s**t."
"Investing. I have no clue what to do."
"No one does. It's either people who were rich from the beginning or some random guy who tries to sell you stuff."
Beauty is in the Eye of...
"Convincing my wife she's beautiful."
"The good fight continues."
Clean and Tidy
"Cleaning. I’m slowly getting better but I’m definitely below average."
"Bro, same, I don’t try to be a slob but everything ends up a mess because I get distracted."
"Yeah! And if you’re like me you will not notice until it’s BAD."
If this was not one of the most relatable threads we've read to date, then we don't know what would be.
The funny thing is that, many of these struggles are struggles we all have or at least think that we have. Perhaps that means that we're really not doing as badly as we think we are, and really we just need to show ourselves some grace.
Finally going out on a date with the person you've been chatting with online is a very exciting yet nerve-wracking first step.
But when you finally meet the person with whom you've developed romantic chemistry online, one of two things can happen–Fireworks or bombs.
In other words, being face-to-face with a prospective love interest for the first time can either confirm your hopes or suspicions about the person whom you know very little about online.
Curious to hear nightmare stories about dating life, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What's the worst date you've ever been on?"
People and their obsession with their electronic devices is getting out of hand.
"Sat for 15 minutes to hear him talk about himself, work and his future plans, and then as he asked me 'what about you?" his hand went to reach his phone and he starts scrolling. I can't stress this enough, his hand reaches his phone at the same time those words left his mouth. It felt to me like he already decided whatever I am going to say was going to be boring so might as well multitask as I talk."
"Went on a date with a chick that took my phone and put a picture of her on my Snapchat, I got 20 messages almost instantly from chicks that knew her and told me to stay away. She was 2 months pregnant, didn’t tell me till my friends did. That was a wild date for sure. She was very upset."
"Tinder date. She pulled out her Ipad and started introducing me various insurance plans she is selling."
"Oooooh god that's almost as bad as trying to recruit a first date into your MLM line..."
"I had a date that tried to sell me whole life insurance. She told me before the date to meet her at her office. It was downtown so I thought nothing of it. Then she walks me to her desk and tells me to sign some papers."
Sometimes, dates turn out to be disastrous through no fault of participants.
Things Went Downhill
"I thought I would be a little more adventurous and suggest that we go skiing for a first date. At the time, I lived in the south where the closest ski mountain was 2.5 hours away and it was opening day. It became clear that we probably didn’t click on the drive up, but I figured we’d still have a fun day of skiing. On the first run, maybe 100 yards in, she falls hard and tears her acl, lcl, and mcl. It was a very long and awkward car ride back, and I ended up staying with her for several days after to help care for her since she lived alone and was new to the area. She was a very nice woman, but that was just a lot for a first date."
People were forced to make a run for it.
The Great Escape
"So many bad dates over the years. One of the worst was this guy I met on a dating site. We agreed to go to dinner at a nearby restaurant. Turned out his profile picture really was of himself but it was just a 'few' years old. BS! In person, he straight up looked like Santa Claus on vacation complete with the Hawaiian shirt. I was a little unhappy about that but it wasn’t the end of the world. I thought well maybe he is jolly and fun. That turned out to be a big NO."
"So we ordered dinner and he started talking about ex wife #1. She was a b*tch and crazy. Ex wife #2 was also a b*tch and crazy. Ex wife #3 was a psycho crazy b*tch from hell. He told me ex #3 hit him in the face with a frying pan. He seemed to enjoy my horrified reaction. That was, until I asked what he did he do to her to make her smack him upside the head with said frying pan. Personally, I thought it was an awful date and I couldn’t wait to go home. He ordered dessert. :/"
"mentioned getting home soon and he said We can discuss that later as he was paying for my meal and we were going to enjoy our time together. I waited for a few minutes and politely excused myself to the ladies room. He stood up and watched me go in and was watching me when I came back to the table. It was as if he knew I wanted to bolt out the door. I got my chance when he finally went to the men’s room. I handed the waitress money for my food plus tip and told her I was on a very bad date. I left the restaurant just before he came back from the men’s room. He saw me through the front windows and started screaming like a lunatic. I don’t know what he was saying but I ran to my car!"
Tasks First, Eat Later
"Went out with a guy from POF who lived an hour away from me. (I live in the sticks so this is normal.) I texted him to let him know I was on my way and this dipsh*t proceeded to text me every few minutes to ask me if I was still coming. So much so that I finally had to call him and tell him to stop because I can't text and drive at the same time. In hindsight, I should have turned around and went home right then."
"Finally I get to the place we were meeting. It was a store parking lot. Since we were meeting there and going somewhere else right away, I texted him and said I was there, where are you and he replies insisting I come into the store. He absolutely would NOT come outside to meet me. So I had to spend the first hour of this date following him around an auto parts store while he pawed through every display and bin, not talking to me very much at all."
"Finally he was ready to leave the store and I thought we were going to eat, as we had originally planned. I was starving but he said no, I gotta go return my work uniforms to my old job first. Uhh, okay I guess."
"So we drove in his car to this factory where he parks and says hop out so I can lock my car up. It was cold and rainy so of course he expected me to stand out in it? After like 15 minutes I was like f'k this and I went in the lobby of this place to get out of the rain. For some reason it took this guy 45 more minutes to return his uniforms so I was glad I went into the building to get warm. But apparently this was a huge no-no to him because when he came back out from wherever he went to return this stuff he glared at me like I just dropped trou and took a sh*t in his lap and asked me why I didn't just wait outside. In the cold rain. For almost an hour."
"At last he decided it was time to go to the restaurant. I sat there trying to keep a poker face while he talked to the waitress like he was addressing a toddler, messily stuffed his face and chewed with his mouth open wide and kept glancing around every 30 seconds like he was scared someone was going to see him out with a woman in public."
"Plus he kept asking me invasive and crude sex questions the whole time too. Lovely."
"I quickly inhaled a salad and managed to pay for it at the front without him seeing me, I told him I needed to go to the little girl's room and bounced. Luckily this restaurant was across the highway from the store where I had left my car so I crossed it real quick and blocked him everywhere before I even got the car warmed up."
"I'll betcha a million bucks and a house salad that a**hole was married."
It's unfortunate that people on dating apps aren't always forthright about themselves.
"I wouldn’t say it was the worst but it was the most interesting. Met a lady on a dating app. A Beautiful woman who claimed to be 38 which is my age. I suspected through the pictures she might be in her early 40s. Her profile said she had 3 kids. We talked and she seemed cool. We then met for dinner a week into talking. I could tell she was older but looked younger than she should because of Botox. Within 15 minutes she said she had to tell me the truth because she really likes me. She does not have 3 kids but 6! She is not 38 but 48!"
The Date That Wasn't A Date But Actually Was A Date
"I didn't even know it was a date."
"Girl I worked with was talking up a breakfast place in a nearby town, and I was like 'that sounds great, let's go this weekend!'"
"We went, I had a great time, the pancakes were amazing, and I had fun hanging out with a work friend outside of work. I thought she had a good time too, she was laughing and fully engaged with the conversation just like normal."
"Like three weeks later, I was talking to another coworker when it all came out that she'd been telling people we went on a terrible date, how I didn't even make a move or flirt or do anything that guys she goes on dates with normally do, and how I even talked about a date with another girl at one point."
"I was flabbergasted, my fat a** genuinely thought we were just a couple of friends getting pancakes."
If you're no longer in the dating pool because you found your person, congrats.
There's no doubt you have kissed some frogs along the way to finding true love.
Because if it weren't for all those "horrible dates," you might not be able to appreciate what you've got when the right person comes along.