People tell white lies to try and get their way out of trouble. However, they usually end up making the situation way worse, as evidenced by these answers given to a question posed by Reddit user, Parmersan:
Creamy or Chunky?
When I first got Married back in 2005, my wife asked me if I like Creamy Peanutbutter. I knew she did, so I told her "Yeah that's great!". She buys creamy peanut butter, I buy creamy peanut butter. About 3 years ago, she's doing some experiment or something with our daughter and she needed chunky peanut butter. I saw it in the pantry and exclaim "Oh chunky peanut butter, I love this stuff!" to which she responds "... You do? I've been buying Creamy peanut butter all these years because you told me that was your favorite"
So long story a little shorter, we both prefer chunky peanut butter by a large margin, but had been buying creamy for ten years because we both thought it was what the other preferred.
Reading that back, we're pretty boring people. yep :D SSChicken
No, Seriously, I Totally Belong Here
I was a new graduate student freshly arrived in the US and very poor, and I couldn't afford a laptop, so the only way I could communicate with my family was to hit up the library and use a public computer to email with them. Eventually my girlfriend back home wanted to Skype, and I wanted a little privacy for this, if you know what I mean, so I set about finding the most private computer available to me in the library.
On a recon mission the day before the Skype, I located a single computer in a conference room and the next morning got up at 7am to account for the time difference and walked into the conference room with my eyes totally focused on the computer. I'd actually walked most of the way in before I realized there was a group of people around the conference table having a ridiculously early morning meeting. The guy at the head of the table, apparently thinking I'd showed up for the meeting and that I was heading towards him, handed me a paper that said "agenda" and said he was so glad a graduate student had shown up, then launched into the most incomprehensible talk about electrodes and chemistry.
Meanwhile I know my girlfriend is sitting halfway around the world thinking we're going to have sexy time Skype and I'm blowing her off and I'm feeling desperate. But everything I knew about US culture was only based on movies, so I have no idea if I can just apologize and leave or what. I miserably sat down for the incomprehensible meeting, rehearsing all the excuses I can give my girlfriend when we talk later. I was barely paying attention. Eventually questions were directed at me and I confess that I'm a new grad student and I don't know much about the equipment they're talking about. Everyone excitedly tells me all about it and I still don't totally understand what they mean, except I'm starting to get that they're going on a research expedition to [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] and they're building a piece of equipment to bring with them.
By the end of the meeting I am part of the project. 6 months later I am in [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] helping to operate this equipment. I appear briefly in the background of a Discovery Channel documentary (only black guy within hundreds of miles so easy to spot). I happily transfer to this other lab and this other field for my fully paid and stipended PhD. I am considered a real go getter, mainly based on my arrival at an early morning meeting no one else wanted to attend. New major, new field, new life because I was too awkward to admit I had just been in the room to sexy Skype with my girlfriend. omgpie
I moved to a new city, and got a new dentist. For some reason, the guy thinks I used to see him at his old practice in a town I've never lived in. I corrected him a couple times, but he just keeps bringing it up, so now I just kind of roll with it. He asks after my parents, which is easy enough...but we've had all kinds of conversations about local restaurants I've never been to and other random stuff like that. Davran
I Don't Do Beer
Wasn't a drinker in high school so to shut down peer pressure I told them I was born with half a liver and drinking anything could make me very sick or kill me.
The lie just became natural and followed me to college. Was out with some friends playing pool and decided to have a beer. When I came back, a buddy slapped it out of my hand thinking I was suicidal. Then the explanations began... dopplegangerexpress
Happy Sad Day
A new coworker of mine tried downplaying his bday and eventually after me hounding him about why he didn't like celebrating, he eventually told me in confidence that his best friend was killed on his birthday and he hates thinking about it. Fast forward 8 years -- this guy and I had become really good friends. Best friends. Lived together at one point. He was accepted into my friend group and I always made sure to downplay his bday (his is 4 days after another friend) so we just did a group thing and never made a big deal about it. Finally someone got brave enough and wanted to talk to him about it, and he laughed and had no recollection of telling me that and said he was probably just screwing with me. He always wondered why no one wished him happy bday. jackrack1721
This Is Me, Now
Someone bought my wife a Vera Bradley handbag. She doesn't care for Vera Bradley, but uses the bag anyway.
Because of her use of Vera Bradley, people buy her Vera Bradley things. She has a ton of it, plus gift cards to Vera Bradley. So naturally she has a ton of Vera Bradley accessories. She is now considered by others to be 'very into' Vera Bradley, so she gets more stuff from Vera Bradley. ViolentEastCoastCity
I Am EXACTLY That Person
"You're here for the copywriting position right?"
I was the only one in the waiting area... thought I was there for a design/art direction role. Within 15 minutes of the interview they offered me $2K to move and $45K starting salary a week before graduation. erdle
Lying From Home
I was having a rough time commuting too far for work for a few months. Decided to quit to find something closer to home, but told everyone I had been approved to work from home. When I went to give my two weeks, my manager asked, "I know the driving has been killing you, how would you feel about working from home?"
Work laptop to my left and watching Great British Masterclass as I type, been working at home since then. Geekprincessia
Ger The Mailman
Not me but my Dad. We moved and he was convinced the postman's name was 'Ger' as in short for Gerry. He greeted him by it, nearly every day for about 10 years. We even gave him a Christmas card which he displayed down in the sorting office.
Fast forward and we have a temporary post man, my Mum asking him after a few weeks 'When is Ger coming back?' This was met with stunned silence and a puzzled look, with a resounding 'Who is Ger? No one works in the locality by that name'
Turns out, his name is Declan and he was too nice to correct my Dad for close to a decade. djaxial
In high school, I took a 2-year class spanning junior and senior years. We switched seats sporadically and in the second year I got seated next to a girl who for whatever reason thought my name was the same as another student in the class (she didn't mix us up, but thought we had the same name).
I was extremely timid in high school so I didn't want to correct her and just thought I'd let it ride since I knew we were going to different colleges and I'd likely never see her again. 4 years later, she's organizing a reunion for our class and finds me on facebook, immediately messaged me asking why I let her call me the wrong name all that time... Return_Of_Urkel
Meet Your New Uncle
My uncle's name is Ernie and he owns a restaurant, and likes to talk to guests when they arrive and leave. One of the patrons that eats there a lot, confused his name with Bert, a la Bert and Ernie. Being the pleasant and polite asian dude he is, he didn't have the heart to correct him. Now whenever this one customer comes, the staff and and my aunt (the manager) has to call him Bert. He is my uncle Bert now. seen720
Liar, Liar, Pants on...
I became friends with one of the managers at Panera. One day as I was giving a cashier my order, he told her to give me the same discount as they give to firemen, police and paramedics, i think. He just chose this discount as it was an easy button to push on the register. Well this cashier really thought I was a fireman. I'm not. So for the next two years this cashier gave me the discount. Even if she wasn't serving me, she would go out of her way to tell the cashier that was helping me, "He's a fireman, give him the discount". It snowballed into such an awkward situation that I didn't know how to get out of it. Luckily that cashier eventually transferred to another store and I now happily pay full price. Steve0512
Never Say No To A Free Dinner
I didn't want to go to dinner with the gang from work, including my boss, so I told them I was having dinner with my wife and her parents. I lied.
I get home, wife wants to go out to dinner. So, we head to the restaurant, and just as we're getting near the door, I see the work gang with my loudmouth boss all piling out of their cars. What are odds of us picking the same restaurant? S***. Busted.
There was an old couple walking into the restaurant in front of us. I held the door for them, and insisted they join us for dinner. They were quite perplexed, but accepted my offer of a free dinner.
It was the most uncomfortable dinner ever. They had no clue who we were, none of us had any shared interests... they rushed through dinner, thanked us, and got the hell away from what I'm sure they thought were a couple of weirdos. disgustipated
The Boxing Champion
People picked on my brother in high school for getting jumped by some wannabe blood thugs in the bathroom. It was relentless. His confidence and any friendships were crushed, cause, you know, people cant be seen with the loser.
One day I was confronted by said thugs, basically talking s*** about my brother, and in my infinite wisdom, I said I could box so they better back off. Something to that affect. Looking back, I cringe, but you do what you have to.
Needless to say, they did not back off. Somehow, I landed a punch on one of the kids that dislocated his jaw. Like, flapping around like a mouth piece hanging from a football helmet.
I became the kid who could box but never wanted to fight, which I guess gave me credibility. I dont really know. Everyone and their hyena came to me asking where they could learn said boxing skills, how Id learned by 16, all that crap. Id wanted to just come out and say I had been lucky, but I didnt want anyone to give my brother sh*t again. So the lie stayed.
Luckily, no one ever picked on my brother afterwards, and I did eventually learn some boxing fundamentals, but most because I felt like I was living a lie. Which I was. As a man, I have not had to keep up the facade. PhotoreceptiveFlyer
Run For Your Life
In 4th grade I lied and said I was going to a track meet to impress some friends in class when the teacher asked if anyone was going. I went home and told my mom I needed to sign up for it. I was never good at athletics at this time in my life.
I ended up going to the track meet, it was a 400m race I was entered in, I remember the moment the gun went off I immediately went into a mode I had never remotely gone into before, I was actually ultra competitive for once in my life. I was neck and neck with another kid for the first place spot the entire race, and going into the final stretch I felt like puking and every fiber of my body was burning and he was pulling away. Something came over me and I kicked it into psycho mode and pushed past him for the win and my legs felt like noodles and I collapsed and couldnt get back up.
That race qualified me for a regional meet, I did that one and won again in similar fashion, then went to the state meet and got my ass handed to me. That started me down a long line of running long distance which involved being one of the best in the nation in high school and getting a scholarship to run in college, and trust me the training at that level consumes your life (100 mile weeks), so it was definitely my life at that point. gabriot
Mix Master DJ
I've been making EDM since I was 13, and in my senior year of High School I had the opportunity to play some of my music live with Ableton for my classmates at an event. But, because I couldn't explain what I was doing in the space provided on the sign-up sheet I just put down "DJ", thinking that nobody would be knowledgeable enough to know the difference. Apparently everybody liked it so much that the prom committee asked me to DJ prom, and like an idiot I said yes. I waited for my birthday, and made sure that nobody got me any gifts-just money, which I spent on software and a Mixtrack Pro. I learned how to DJ in three months, did prom, got payed 250$. I'm making decent money off of gigs now, and I do the prom every year. Sanity_Assasin
"The Things We Do For Love"
When I was little, my grandma would make me these horrible frozen chicken tenders filled with cheese. They were just god-awful. Because I am a good grandson, I told her that I loved them. From then on, every time that I visited her, she would cook me those abominations. Even when I was in graduate school, I would go visit her and for one meal, I would have to slide those gross things down my gullet.
Every time I would say, "Thanks! I love them!" The things we do for love. the_planes_walker
The Best Guitar Player
I did online homeschooling for a few years and there was a forum where you could socialize with other students enrolled in the school. During this time I was big into making music on a DAW I had downloaded. I didn't know how to play any instruments, but I could still download different drum beats and guitar riffs from the dev's website. I shared a few songs with my fellow "classmen" and told everyone that I could play guitar and had a friend that tracked the drums. Eventually people started asking me for guitar lessons or more songs. I couldn't keep up the lie so I told them that my friend moved to Africa for a missions trip and would not return for the foreseeable future. But everyone in that forum thought I could play guitar. I couldn't, and still can't play to save my life. Primitive_Teabagger
Debate Topic: Is Lying Okay?
My mother was a super control freak, so one of the ways I would avoid home was after school extracurriculars. I got the date wrong on a math team meeting, so I lied to my mom about it while actually attending the debate team intro meeting. I probably didn't need to lie, but it was always safer to not disrupt her precious schedule. Eventually, debate became a regular activity for me to avoid home.
In 3 years, I was a state semifinalist and in college, I coached the high school national champions and turned that into a free ride for a masters degree. loungeboy79
I told my parents i bought a duck when I was 20 to tease them. I found a picture online of one and sent it to them. Sadly, they believed me. They got overly excited about their "grand-duck" and told my whole family. I ended up buying a duck... ThePolishFish
This Is Steve, Now
My husband's best friend has a 6 year old daughter that I see often. When she was almost 3 she babbled something to me (I think it was "My friends here!") and my husband interpreted it as "My friend Steve!" and started calling me Steve in front of her. Now her whole family call me Steve when she's around, and she still believes that's my name. For clarity, I'm a female and my name isn't anything close to Steve. rebel_natureWhen You Just Don't Want To Play A Video Game
One time someone who I wanted to be better friends with showed me a metal gear solid meme and me being me I pretended to understand it. I then was forced to research all the games and their plots, Easter eggs, quotable characters, and other memes to better fake understanding. I still have never played a metal gear solid game. StandardAlmond
And Sometimes, The Best Reason You Can Lie To Someone...
So I'm a visiting nurse and started seeing a patient 3 days/week for wound care. He was a paraplegic and didn't get out much or have many visitors. He offered me a cup of coffee one morning, but I didn't know him very well yet and was uneasy about drinking something out of unknown person's kitchen. Plus, we are really not supposed to, but I could tell he just needed a little company. I told him I drink it black to keep it simple, never planning to have another cup.
Next day, I come in and notice a little sticky note on his counter that said "Remember to make fresh pot of coffee for Rachael". It was so touching to me that I went early every single appointment from that day forward to have a cup of black coffee. I hate black coffee but I felt it was too late to tell him I liked creamer after all. I drank black coffee with him for 3.5 years and he became a good friend until he passed away... rachabe