Redditors Share Their "This Person Doesn't Understand How The Real World Works" Stories
Redditors Share Their "This Person Doesn't Understand How The Real World Works" Stories
[rebelmouse-image 18346664 is_animated_gif=Some people just have no idea how the real world works. Is it obliviousness? Sure. Entitlement? Definitely. Or maybe, certain folks just aren't gonna pan out, no matter what advantages they have in life. And it's usually the privileged few who are totally clueless.
celiman asked, What is your "This person has no idea how the real world works" moment?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Apparently "North" is wherever you decide to face. That's not how it works.
[rebelmouse-image 18351962 is_animated_gif=My cousin and I were talking one day and I mentioned that I had a horrible sense of direction, whereas my brother could be dropped off in a cornfield and find his way home.
She replied that it was easy to find your direction, just remember "Never Eat Shredded Wheat" and you will know where North is.
I laughed and said that was for remembering the directions in order, not for finding which way was which. We argued for 20 minutes until I told her to show me how it works.
She stands up and points forward and says "Never Eat Shredded Wheat!" and points to the direction she was facing when she stood up. "That's North!"
So I told her to face me and then find North. She does it again... "Never Eat Shredded Wheat!" and points at me and says "that's North".
So ask her if North just changed? She says no. "But North was that way a minute ago?"
She looks confused and says "Why didn't that work?"
I told her it was because she was an idiot.
The key word here is "rent," ace.
[rebelmouse-image 18351983 is_animated_gif=Guy sold his Rent-a-Center TV and couldn't understand why they threatened to charge him for theft.
I say let the case go forward. The judge can lay a "that's not how this works" smack down.
[rebelmouse-image 18359218 is_animated_gif=My sister-in-law got into an argument with her brother/my husband and me, stopped speaking to us, blocked us on Facebook... and then threatened to sue us for visitation rights to our six-month-old.
Oh yeah this is going to go exactly as planned.
[rebelmouse-image 18359219 is_animated_gif=My brother wanted to be a "game designer". I asked how that was going and what he had been doing.
Mom had gone to Walmart to pick up some art supplies so he could get "Designing".
He did not really know what coding was in terms of game design and did not know graphic design. He thought he could simply just draw up some swords and guns and shields and someone would pay him to do this for a living. With zero experience.
He's almost 30.
Getting "discovered" doesn't happen by not doing anything.
[rebelmouse-image 18359220 is_animated_gif=My little brother who was (and I fear still kinda is) adamant that he would grow up to be an actor all through high school without trying to pursue any acting related things. Quit drama club freshman year and never looked back. Didn't work towards getting into an acting program in college. Spent more time on his video games than acting, but I guess he was just banking on being discovered and put into roles due to handsomeness. It's hard enough to make that dream work for people who are actually trying.
Oof, someone's in for a surprise.
[rebelmouse-image 18359221 is_animated_gif=I was in the Army with someone who wanted to know when the maids came to do laundry in Basic Training.
I've... actually done this. Never underestimate lazy.
[rebelmouse-image 18353554 is_animated_gif=They lived with a dark bedroom for 7 days waiting for the real estate manager of their rental property to come and change the light bulb.
Mortgages are 30 years, dear, not three.
[rebelmouse-image 18359222 is_animated_gif=Had a woman call into work (banking) and ask for her mortgage payoff. It was like 40 thousandish.... she said there was no way that was right because her payment book only had 3 more coupons in it and she thought it was done when the coupons were. She couldn't comprehend that she had a 30-year mortgage and that she didn't get a coupon book for all 30 years, she only got three years at a time and because she had an adjustable rate. I had to call backups to explain to her that she still owed 27 more years.
Edit to add: Location: rural PA
Probably a tiny home that needs work, 40k is possible in this area still.
Coupon books tell you when your payment is due and what amount - if you don't bank online or want to mail a payment in. Amish and old folks still don't use the internet here as a norm.??????????????
They keep the elbow grease next to the baby oil.
[rebelmouse-image 18359223 is_animated_gif=I worked on a group project with these two girls in high school. We had met up at a library over the weekend and when I pulled into the parking lot one of them said something about my car. I said "yeah, I love this car but someone keyed it in a parking lot all down the passenger side. Look how deep it is!"
I told her I couldn't fix it beyond some touch-up paint either because that would require sanding it down and all that. She looked me dead in the eye with a look like I was crazy and said "well why don't you go buy some elbow grease? I hear that fixes everything".
Dead serious. Girl had heard about "just give it some elbow grease" and got it into her head that this was a product you could buy to fix just about anything. She did not contribute much to our group project.
Apparently, student loans are free.
[rebelmouse-image 18358949 is_animated_gif=Fellow college student: I don't understand why other students keep looking for free food. If they really need more money, why don't they just get more student loans?
I had to explain to him that, at some point, they stop giving you student loans. Also that not everyone had parents who were willing/able to support their children, and that even if you did pull out more loans then that's more money you have to pay back after university comparative to your expected entry-level pay schedule in your field.
Someone, please, turn this couple into a TV show.
[rebelmouse-image 18359224 is_animated_gif=At our marriage prep retreat, there was a couple who was 20/21 years old. The girl was still in college, her fiance worked at a radio station. She said their plan was to get married right after she graduated and start having kids, and she would be a stay at home mom. One of the other couples asked if they had discussed how the finances would work with that, and she said she doesn't have any bills right now so it shouldn't be that hard.
Isn't college supposed to teach independence... meh, nah.
[rebelmouse-image 18359225 is_animated_gif=One time I made the mistake of trying to do laundry in my dorm's laundry room during parents weekend. I walked in to see rows of haggard looking mothers with massive bags of their children's clothes. Laundry is free at our school, and the machines are ridiculously simple to use.
Oh that kid is not gonna be happy when he realizes that's not how it works.
[rebelmouse-image 18345227 is_animated_gif=This kid at my school thought taxes weren't real and just a story.
Having your parents pay for everything isn't how the world works, but also... why not take the free trip?
[rebelmouse-image 18359226 is_animated_gif=Was good friends with this girl in college. I knew she was spoiled (free reign of daddy's credit card) but it was never a big deal. After college, she couldn't grasp why I couldn't spend the next 6-12 months backpacking through Europe with her, which she wanted to do because she didn't feel like getting a job yet. The idea that I had to get a job to support myself and start paying back student loans was completely foreign to her. Her answer to everything was "have your parents pay for it!". Sorry honey, that is not how the real world works.
Just gonna leave this one here because, wow, not how it works.
[rebelmouse-image 18350696 is_animated_gif=Met a guy at uni who thought Chinese people would be unaffected by the rise of superbugs because they were too smart to fall victim to it.
Both a pharmacy student and a Chinese person could not convince him otherwise.
Parents who do this aren't doing their kids any favors. And it makes driving more dangerous for everyone.
[rebelmouse-image 18359228 is_animated_gif=When I sold my first car, the guy who bought it from me got it for his son. Who was on his fifth car. He'd had his license for less than two years.
And they weren't a wealthy family - he had to keep buying cheaper and cheaper cars each time. I'd heard it through the grapevine that he had crashed my old car too.
You can actually rent a box of kittens for an hour at a time.
[rebelmouse-image 18359229 is_animated_gif=My dad asked if he could borrow my cat. I said no. He replied, "It's okay, I'll just rent one." I didn't point out that cat rentals aren't a thing. I still don't know why he needed a cat.
Lessons in divorce 101: leave me alone.
[rebelmouse-image 18359230 is_animated_gif=My ex-wife demanded to know where I was going on vacation and who I was going with. I had to explain to her for the 871st time what "divorced" meant.
I'll take "things entitled pricks do" for $1000 Alex.
[rebelmouse-image 18359231 is_animated_gif=Former barista here. A customer came through the drive-thru one afternoon, ordering a custom drink that cost about $5. While on the phone, he dug change out of the corners of his van and handed me what amounted to less than $3. I continued looking at him with my hand extended, half full of dirty coins, when he just shrugged and said, "That's all I got." I repeated the total and said he hadn't given me enough. "Can't you just spot me with your tips?" Um, EXCUSE ME? First, no, that's literally my grocery money, and second, our company had a strict policy against doing just that. But I simply apologized and said no, I couldn't do that. He blew up at me, saying I wasn't "being very neighborly." I again apologized and explained how I relied on my tip money to, you know, EAT. Instead, he screamed at me again, "You suck, you REALLY suck!" before driving away. Side note: it was a small town and most people there don't know how the real world works.
A used car dealership? In upstate New York? Baller.
[rebelmouse-image 18359232 is_animated_gif=A friend of mine saw a guy getting arrested in college- the kid was struggling and cussing out the cops like crazy- "do you know who my father is?!" A cop humored him and asked. "He owns the number one used car dealership in upstate New York!"
We were in Massachusetts. They were unimpressed by his legacy and took him in.
EDIT- I do not know any used car dealers in upstate New York and this was 1995
Are we being lazy or is it self-care?
That is what you should ask yourself first, before you judge.
Life is an arduous journey and a constant energy suck.
It was inevitable we'd find shortcuts to get by.
It's all about survival.
Redditor Batman_In_Peacetime wanted to hear about the times we just didn't care enough to try harder. They asked:
"What is a lazy thing you began doing when you realised you can live with it?"
I'm best when I'm at my laziest. Ok, that's a lie, but I don't care.
Zzzz...
"On weekends I sleep for 12-14 hours. I usually wake up a few times but I dream so much during those long sleeps that it’s basically become a recreation type thing and I love it."
HouseOfZenith
Warm it up...
"When I use the microwave, I’ll heat food for 1:11 or 2:22 because I can’t be bothered to move my lazy fingers."
fysicks
"I figured out that my microwave's turntable rotates once every 12 seconds. So, everything I cook is on a multiple of 12 seconds so that it always ends up at the front of the microwave when it's done cooking, and I don't have to reach all the way to the back of the microwave to get my food out."
unittwentyfive
Bang
"When I was a kid on a school day, I had this routine where I'd stick my legs out of the bed and bang around on the floor so it sounded like I got out of bed and then just lie there for a few more minutes."
bewarethechameleon
"Did you also get your toothbrush wet and squirt a wee bit of toothpaste in your mouth rather than actually brush your teeth? If so I may be your mom and you weren’t fooling me or the dentist and you sure weren’t fooling the plaque that attacked."
TigerLily98226
Pockets
"Whenever I clean the house I put on my housecoat with really big pockets. I just walk from room to room and put things in my pocket that don’t belong in that room. Once my pockets are full I go to each room and empty my pockets putting what is from each room in that room."
kindhearttbc
"That's not lazy... that's productive AF."
throwaway92715
Toss It
"I don’t fold the fitted sheet. Just ball it up and place it in the closet."
SpaghettiSquash33
I just see people human. Don't he so hard on yourselves.
12 Hours
"I once watched 12 hours of the golf Network because the batteries were dead in my remote control. I don't know if that's lazy or depressed."
sadbirdfox
I swear I was...
"I was taught to make a bed properly as a child, I swear I was. Hospital corners and everything. I even know how to fold a fitted sheet, thanks to my auntie, who's an Air Force nurse and therefore doesn't consider little problems like 'non-Euclidean geometry' to be a reason not to do it properly. The second I found out about duvet covers, that was over. Sure, it doesn't look as tidy, but five minutes a week plus 10 seconds in the morning instead of 10 minutes a day? I can live with that."
katie-kaboom
The System
"I don't fold laundry anymore. I have a system of laundry baskets like this where clothes gets sorted by type (pants, t-shirts, sweaters, etc). Most of my clothes is wrinkle free, and for the few pieces that aren't I just throw them on a hanger in the bathroom while I take a steamy shower."
User deleted
Genius!!
"Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will grab the top corners of my sheets with my hands and prop up the bottom two with my feet and move it into place. Then I slide out of bed without ruffling anything. Just like that, my bed is made."
Markymark142
"My sister has to do this before she goes to bed at night, even is she made the bed that morning. It's an odd little quirk and mostly harmless."
mel2mdl
Yummy
"Just eating food straight out of the pan."
refrshmts_N_narcotcs
None of that sounds so bad. That sounds... like my life. Don't judge!!
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Be it on a blind date, at a party where you don't know anyone, or sitting next to someone on an airplane, starting a conversation with a total stranger is difficult.
As much as we'd all like to be friendly, far too often we find ourselves at a loss for words.
It doesn't help that we generally have no idea of what these people's various interests are, making it anyone's guess how they'll respond.
But some have this problem solved, finding a go-to topic which is always guaranteed to get a response, no matter who you're talking to.
Redditor Blugged_Bunny was curious to hear what people thought was the best way to begin a conversation with strangers, leading them to ask:
"What is your go-to 'small talk' topic with strangers?"
Did you check the forecast?
"We sure are having a lot of weather"- r_Ju_Tacular.
"As a British person, the conversation usually starts like this:"
“'You alright?'"
”Yeah you?”'
“'Yeah not too bad, weathers a bit sh*t innit?'”
“'Yeah”'.
"The end."- chelstippins
Why beat around the bush?
"Straight to politics and religion."- Turd_Ferguson009.
Just let it happen.
"Make an observation."
"Literally anything."It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be."
"It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention."
"People bullsh*t about the weather all the time."
"Make a comment about it, gauge their willingness to talk about it to you and build off of what you get from the response."
"If all you get is 'haha yeah', leave it."
"No shame in silence."
"Some people just don’t want to talk."
I"f you’re talking about the weather, 'Man it’s a great day out today!'"
“'Yeah absolutely! I drove here with my windows down all the way here!'”
"Boom, you’ve got something to latch onto."
"They probably enjoy getting outside for some fresh air. "
"They probably enjoy driving."
"Ask about their car."
"Ask if they go on drives a lot."
"Ask if they do outdoor stuff."
"What kind of outdoor stuff?"
"Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask."
"Let them do the talking."
"People love talking about themselves."
"You learn some light hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too."
"It works in literally any situation."
"From an elevator ride to a first date."
"It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable."- 1arrocknroll.
"But enough about me, what do you think about me?"
"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it."- I_can_see_the_music.
"Food, glorious food..."
"Food."
"People typically love food."
"I mention I’m new/newer to an area."
"And ask them what they like, where they eat out."
"Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks."- TheProfWife.
Can you believe it?
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"- housemuncher.
Nothing!
"As a Norwegian - we leave strangers alone."
"No need to bother them."- neihuffda.
The sky's the limit.
"So, do you like stuff?"- Bwon669.
All of these seem like surefire ways to get a conversation started.
But use cautiously, as who knows how long it will take these conversations to end.
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Quality comes with price. That's a fact you can't escape. If you hire someone to fix your home, and want them to do the best job, you're going to have to pay above average prices. That's fine. Pay the people what they're worth for the great job they did. However, we live in a world where everyone is looking for their payout, even if what they've given you is less than ideal.
Don't overpay for any of these.
Reddit user, DrLizardLover, wanted to know what we're paying too much for when they asked:
"What is just stupidly overpriced?"
If you didn't know any better, you would think making office and school supplies was a lot like mining for diamonds in the center of the Earth.
Though, we also know diamonds are a rip-off so maybe that's not the argument we should be making.
Another Collegiate Payment
"College books"
Spooly_Boy
"Especially when they say you have to buy the newest copy every year"
disantiyesnt
Good Thing We're Going Paperless
"Printer cartridges."
DataPlenty
"Apparently it's because in order to make printers affordable to everyone, you must lower their prices. The cartridges are the upsell and is where the profit comes from."
AltaSavoia
We Carry Them Around On Our Phones
"TI-84"
"I could get an old cell phone from a dumpster that’s 10x as powerful. Why the f-ck they still charging $80 or more for these things?"
edgeblackbelt
If living in 2022 has taught us anything, it's that convenience has a price.
And it's high.
$50 For Twizzlers
"Foods and drinks at movie theaters or sporting events"
Icy-Company7718
"I can answer for the theaters. They don't actually get much, if any, of the ticket sales. A lot of their operating budget comes from the snack bar."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
Fees On Hidden Fees For Hidden Fees
"Concert tickets"
"(AKA Ticketmaster)"
Catilily_3141
"I thought I was on the school box office site when I was on one made to look like it. I bought two reasonably priced ncaa basketball tickets and when I went to check out it went up to $70 with fees. Found the school website and checked out for $26 total."
blackcatmystery
Costs A Lot To Be A Woman
"One bra is like…40 dollars"
Noliel_Laicaster
"except i have big honkers so i'm forced to pay upwards of $80 for a bra because the only place I can get them in my size is Lane Bryant or Torrid"
kelsiewest11
"Just women's clothes in general. If I'm paying $40 for a pair of dress slacks, they damn well better have pockets. I have to have black slacks for my delivery job and ended up buying 3 pair of men's pants for $20 each, just to have the pockets."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
What can hurt the most is the idea companies and people will charge you for things you need to have. It's almost as if they know you're willing to pay the price...
Awful.
History Has Funny Way Of Changing Perspectives
"Lobster. Was literally considered food for the peasants at one point in history. They used lobsters as bait on ships"
magoted
The Most Expensive Day Of Your Life
"Anything tied to a wedding"
nickp123456
"Friend of mine needed a generator for a wedding. He booked it as a "corporate event" to get cheaper hire."
"When the company arrived to setup and saw it was a wedding they demanded extra money, because it was a wedding. Same location, same generator, same rental period."
salmonlikethephish
Sipping The Last Bits Of Money Out Of The Dead
"Funerals"
Longjumping-Oil4497
"I definitely think that add-ons for funerals are sold like biggie sizing your happy meal. And the concept of memorializing a person for eternity has been sold as bare necessity. But I do know that the pomp and circumstance a lot of people need to lay somebody to rest, costs money."
"I want to see people honored in their death, but spending $5,000 on a pine box does not make sense to me"
444unsure
People Need Help? Charge Them.
"Mental health services. Blessings upon blessings to the mental health professionals who offer sliding scales."
AphelionEntity
America Gonna 'Murica
"Getting an IUD put in or taken out without insurance costs 1300. Takes 5 minutes to put in and it’s a piece of plastic."
m_hahn_solo
"Wow thats so much. I'm in Canada so having it inserted, removed, and follow up appointments are free. But I had to pay for the IUD. The first time I used the insurance from college so only paid $30. The second time I graduated and didn't have insurance so I went to planned parenthood where its cheaper and paid 230. The third time I had insurance from work and it was free. Honestly all birth control should be free."
Forever-25
Keep an eye on your wallet, since you know most of the world is keeping theirs firmly on it.
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Not everyone is going to believe what you believe. Our own experiences and values add up to make us who we are. Without them, we'd all be the same amorphous blob of consciousness covering the planet in bland beliefs. You hold something in high regard, and that might mean someone else disagrees with you.
Hold your ground, and be ready to die on that hill, kind of like these people.
Reddit user, realduckbutter, wanted to know what you will never let go of when they asked:
"What’s the smallest hill you’re willing to die on?"
What is it about this hill that makes it worthwhile to fight over? Is it something ingrained in your core or something that you can never let go?
This Is Good, Great, And Dandy
"Oxford commas are GOOD and should be EMPLOYED LIBERALLY."
CopsaLau
"I agree with this, I agree with this, and I agree with this."
ajt9104_
Squats All Day
"Nice butts are better than big butts."
Crockpot_gator_Snot
"Shape > Size"
"on that note, 99.9% of of people don’t give a damn about color imperfections or stretch marks. It’s completely irrelevant. The shape is what makes a nice butt."
"Edit: I admit that my statistic it totally made up. I made to say that MOST people don’t care."
bouchandre
Doesn't Hold Up
"KFC gravy isn't as good as it used to be."
AshySlashy902
"KFC isn't as good as it used to be. The biscuits are so hit or miss now."
SuperstitiousPigeon5
Me Am No Good With Words And Things
"It's "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less." If you could care less, you care a little!"
thedoginapound
"That’s what I’m saying!!! People make no sense sometimes"
Rebelsinblacktattoo
The workplace is somewhere you (possibly) go to every day. If there's something about it you like or don't like, don't let it go.
Proper Bathroom Ambience
"Bathrooms at the work place should all be required to play music to help drown out the sounds being made"
zerorush8
"THANK YOU. I’ve thought this for years. Just some simple elevator music. Anything."
"I’d rather hear 10 hours of Yiruma’s River Flows In You than 10 seconds of whatever is flowing out of the poor guy next to me."
jaylward
Better Be Some Money That Comes With That Title
"Don’t give me a “promotion” unless it comes with a pay raise. The only reason I would want a promotion is because I get paid more, not so I can flex my title on ppl"
traws06
"Flex that title into a raise somewhere else"
meanie_ants
So Grateful
"All companies regardless of what industry they're in do their best work and are the most consumer friendly when they're in second or third place in their industry. The 'leader' is almost never the best option."
Nayko214
"The best service and the most exciting food is at two star Michelin restaurants because they’re playing offense not defense."
gastro_gnome
"Cashiers should be allowed to sit down during their shifts, ex. Aldi. There should be no reason why they need to keep standing in place for an entire shift"
kdotismydad
"This is so f-cking American. I've never in my European life seen a cashier standing up."
PercussiveRussel
Whatever it is about these hills we're all supposedly dying, you cannot deny the fact it's super fascinating to see bodies dropping on them.
Do Any Of Us Know What We're Eating?
"When people say “it has chemicals in it”. Your mom is chemicals. Everything is chemicals."
nosmase2
"The whole "don't put it in your body if you can't pronounce it" nonsense is infuriating. An apple has things in it most people couldn't pronounce if you wrote out the chemical composition. And does my having taken organic chem and biochem classes mean I can eat things others can't?"
"Don't even get me started on the anti-GMO crap."
dude_logman
Diamond Eyeglasses? Diamond Cups? Why Stop There?
"Lab grown diamonds are real diamonds. Chemically. It’s purely marketing that makes you pay more for mined diamonds."
ScoobyTrue
"I believe you may be wrong. They are purer than mined diamonds."
"I'm looking forward to windshields made out of diamond."
ScottColvin
*tap, *tap, *tap
"Mobile gaming is better when it's simple games like Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja"
ofsquire
"Yeah I thought I wanted big impressive games on my phone but then I realized there’s no point. I’m never going to play on my phone over a console"
realduckbutter
Holding Up The Line With Your Niceness
"Pay-it-forward drive-through chains are pointless. They aren’t really helping anyone, they’re just making everything awkward."
lassie86
"Im a starbucks barista and like its a nice thing dont get me wrong, but the way our systems work things get confusing and orders or items get lost so people end up getting free but wrong orders :( it also puts the customer on the spot to make a decision to continue or not and i hate that it's so awkward. I always just say hey your order has been paid for have a great day!"
imasokas2percentmilk
It Hurts So Good
"If Q-Tips were not meant to go deep in your ear canal, then God would not have put the g-spot in there"
Virtual-Stranger
Meet lots of people, develop a set of values, then enact those values upon yourself as you engage with the world. Be the person you want to be.
Tell us how you won't let anything go in the comments below.
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