Redditors Share Their "This Person Doesn't Understand How The Real World Works" Stories[rebelmouse-image 18346664 is_animated_gif=
Some people just have no idea how the real world works. Is it obliviousness? Sure. Entitlement? Definitely. Or maybe, certain folks just aren't gonna pan out, no matter what advantages they have in life. And it's usually the privileged few who are totally clueless.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Apparently "North" is wherever you decide to face. That's not how it works.[rebelmouse-image 18351962 is_animated_gif=
My cousin and I were talking one day and I mentioned that I had a horrible sense of direction, whereas my brother could be dropped off in a cornfield and find his way home.
She replied that it was easy to find your direction, just remember "Never Eat Shredded Wheat" and you will know where North is.
I laughed and said that was for remembering the directions in order, not for finding which way was which. We argued for 20 minutes until I told her to show me how it works.
She stands up and points forward and says "Never Eat Shredded Wheat!" and points to the direction she was facing when she stood up. "That's North!"
So I told her to face me and then find North. She does it again... "Never Eat Shredded Wheat!" and points at me and says "that's North".
So ask her if North just changed? She says no. "But North was that way a minute ago?"
She looks confused and says "Why didn't that work?"
I told her it was because she was an idiot.
The key word here is "rent," ace.[rebelmouse-image 18351983 is_animated_gif=
Guy sold his Rent-a-Center TV and couldn't understand why they threatened to charge him for theft.
I say let the case go forward. The judge can lay a "that's not how this works" smack down.[rebelmouse-image 18359218 is_animated_gif=
My sister-in-law got into an argument with her brother/my husband and me, stopped speaking to us, blocked us on Facebook... and then threatened to sue us for visitation rights to our six-month-old.
Oh yeah this is going to go exactly as planned.[rebelmouse-image 18359219 is_animated_gif=
My brother wanted to be a "game designer". I asked how that was going and what he had been doing.
Mom had gone to Walmart to pick up some art supplies so he could get "Designing".
He did not really know what coding was in terms of game design and did not know graphic design. He thought he could simply just draw up some swords and guns and shields and someone would pay him to do this for a living. With zero experience.
He's almost 30.
Getting "discovered" doesn't happen by not doing anything.[rebelmouse-image 18359220 is_animated_gif=
My little brother who was (and I fear still kinda is) adamant that he would grow up to be an actor all through high school without trying to pursue any acting related things. Quit drama club freshman year and never looked back. Didn't work towards getting into an acting program in college. Spent more time on his video games than acting, but I guess he was just banking on being discovered and put into roles due to handsomeness. It's hard enough to make that dream work for people who are actually trying.
Oof, someone's in for a surprise.[rebelmouse-image 18359221 is_animated_gif=
I was in the Army with someone who wanted to know when the maids came to do laundry in Basic Training.
I've... actually done this. Never underestimate lazy.[rebelmouse-image 18353554 is_animated_gif=
They lived with a dark bedroom for 7 days waiting for the real estate manager of their rental property to come and change the light bulb.
Mortgages are 30 years, dear, not three.[rebelmouse-image 18359222 is_animated_gif=
Had a woman call into work (banking) and ask for her mortgage payoff. It was like 40 thousandish.... she said there was no way that was right because her payment book only had 3 more coupons in it and she thought it was done when the coupons were. She couldn't comprehend that she had a 30-year mortgage and that she didn't get a coupon book for all 30 years, she only got three years at a time and because she had an adjustable rate. I had to call backups to explain to her that she still owed 27 more years.
Edit to add: Location: rural PA
Probably a tiny home that needs work, 40k is possible in this area still.
Coupon books tell you when your payment is due and what amount - if you don't bank online or want to mail a payment in. Amish and old folks still don't use the internet here as a norm.??????????????
They keep the elbow grease next to the baby oil.[rebelmouse-image 18359223 is_animated_gif=
I worked on a group project with these two girls in high school. We had met up at a library over the weekend and when I pulled into the parking lot one of them said something about my car. I said "yeah, I love this car but someone keyed it in a parking lot all down the passenger side. Look how deep it is!"
I told her I couldn't fix it beyond some touch-up paint either because that would require sanding it down and all that. She looked me dead in the eye with a look like I was crazy and said "well why don't you go buy some elbow grease? I hear that fixes everything".
Dead serious. Girl had heard about "just give it some elbow grease" and got it into her head that this was a product you could buy to fix just about anything. She did not contribute much to our group project.
Apparently, student loans are free.[rebelmouse-image 18358949 is_animated_gif=
Fellow college student: I don't understand why other students keep looking for free food. If they really need more money, why don't they just get more student loans?
I had to explain to him that, at some point, they stop giving you student loans. Also that not everyone had parents who were willing/able to support their children, and that even if you did pull out more loans then that's more money you have to pay back after university comparative to your expected entry-level pay schedule in your field.
Someone, please, turn this couple into a TV show.[rebelmouse-image 18359224 is_animated_gif=
At our marriage prep retreat, there was a couple who was 20/21 years old. The girl was still in college, her fiance worked at a radio station. She said their plan was to get married right after she graduated and start having kids, and she would be a stay at home mom. One of the other couples asked if they had discussed how the finances would work with that, and she said she doesn't have any bills right now so it shouldn't be that hard.
Isn't college supposed to teach independence... meh, nah.[rebelmouse-image 18359225 is_animated_gif=
One time I made the mistake of trying to do laundry in my dorm's laundry room during parents weekend. I walked in to see rows of haggard looking mothers with massive bags of their children's clothes. Laundry is free at our school, and the machines are ridiculously simple to use.
Oh that kid is not gonna be happy when he realizes that's not how it works.[rebelmouse-image 18345227 is_animated_gif=
This kid at my school thought taxes weren't real and just a story.
Having your parents pay for everything isn't how the world works, but also... why not take the free trip?[rebelmouse-image 18359226 is_animated_gif=
Was good friends with this girl in college. I knew she was spoiled (free reign of daddy's credit card) but it was never a big deal. After college, she couldn't grasp why I couldn't spend the next 6-12 months backpacking through Europe with her, which she wanted to do because she didn't feel like getting a job yet. The idea that I had to get a job to support myself and start paying back student loans was completely foreign to her. Her answer to everything was "have your parents pay for it!". Sorry honey, that is not how the real world works.
Just gonna leave this one here because, wow, not how it works.[rebelmouse-image 18350696 is_animated_gif=
Met a guy at uni who thought Chinese people would be unaffected by the rise of superbugs because they were too smart to fall victim to it.
Both a pharmacy student and a Chinese person could not convince him otherwise.
Parents who do this aren't doing their kids any favors. And it makes driving more dangerous for everyone.[rebelmouse-image 18359228 is_animated_gif=
When I sold my first car, the guy who bought it from me got it for his son. Who was on his fifth car. He'd had his license for less than two years.
And they weren't a wealthy family - he had to keep buying cheaper and cheaper cars each time. I'd heard it through the grapevine that he had crashed my old car too.
You can actually rent a box of kittens for an hour at a time.[rebelmouse-image 18359229 is_animated_gif=
My dad asked if he could borrow my cat. I said no. He replied, "It's okay, I'll just rent one." I didn't point out that cat rentals aren't a thing. I still don't know why he needed a cat.
Lessons in divorce 101: leave me alone.[rebelmouse-image 18359230 is_animated_gif=
My ex-wife demanded to know where I was going on vacation and who I was going with. I had to explain to her for the 871st time what "divorced" meant.
I'll take "things entitled pricks do" for $1000 Alex.[rebelmouse-image 18359231 is_animated_gif=
Former barista here. A customer came through the drive-thru one afternoon, ordering a custom drink that cost about $5. While on the phone, he dug change out of the corners of his van and handed me what amounted to less than $3. I continued looking at him with my hand extended, half full of dirty coins, when he just shrugged and said, "That's all I got." I repeated the total and said he hadn't given me enough. "Can't you just spot me with your tips?" Um, EXCUSE ME? First, no, that's literally my grocery money, and second, our company had a strict policy against doing just that. But I simply apologized and said no, I couldn't do that. He blew up at me, saying I wasn't "being very neighborly." I again apologized and explained how I relied on my tip money to, you know, EAT. Instead, he screamed at me again, "You suck, you REALLY suck!" before driving away. Side note: it was a small town and most people there don't know how the real world works.
A used car dealership? In upstate New York? Baller.[rebelmouse-image 18359232 is_animated_gif=
A friend of mine saw a guy getting arrested in college- the kid was struggling and cussing out the cops like crazy- "do you know who my father is?!" A cop humored him and asked. "He owns the number one used car dealership in upstate New York!"
We were in Massachusetts. They were unimpressed by his legacy and took him in.
EDIT- I do not know any used car dealers in upstate New York and this was 1995
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.