People Divulge The Stupidest Thing They've Ever Heard Come Out Of Someone's Mouth
Some people's stupidity can just flabbergast you. Oftentimes it comes out in an unexpected moment. For instance, once I was curled up next to someone. It was a winter day in the wee hours of the morning, we were watching big fat snowflakes drift through the ice crystallized trees.
Because of this beautiful setting we got on the subject of how amazing nature is. They mentioned how powerful nature can be, bringing up the supervolcano at Yellowstone. This is where things went sideways, as they began to explain to me how if the volcano were to erupt it would result in a supernova in space.
Still not sure how they got there, honestly I just changed the subject because it seemed easier than a 5 am science lesson.
Redditor KarvedHeart wanted to hear the stupidest things others have heard.
They asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you have ever heard out of someone's mouth?"
*screams in geography*
“USA specific. I'm from New Mexico. In high school, I was talking with a group of people in my history class about where we were from. When I mentioned I was born and raised in NM, one of the girls (She was from Cali I believe) got really excited and asked if she could see my green card.”
“She had never seen one before, but she was positive that people in this state are given a birth certificate along with a green card. Because of the Mexico part. I had to explain that we didn't get green cards, because NEW Mexico is a state and not part of Mexico.” spooky_panic
How did they get into uni in the first place!?
“'I thought snow was just the dust that blows off mountains and rain was when the snow melted' 23 year old in one of my uni classes." ChemicalHedgehog6
avalanche GIFGiphyThey only wanted to pay for half the bottle...
“I worked at a bagel shop and I had a customer come in with a complaint one day after buying some nestle chocolate milk from us. So here is how the story goes:"
“We had a guy come in and accuse us of selling and charging him for 2 bottles worth of chocolate milk inside of one bottle when he only wanted 'one serving'. I guess he thought it was a super large or something? (We only have one size, and it isn't that big) His reasoning for thinking that?"
“On the bottle of chocolate milk it says that a thoughtful serving is half the bottle, so he thought one bottle = 2 bottles of chocolate milk and he only wanted one. I had to explain to this guy that a thoughtful portion was just a recommendation by Nestle that he only drink half the bottle because it's healthier."
"And it's not that there are two chocolate milk bottles in the one bottle he bought. Then he told us we should be less confusing, and then I had to explain to him that we do not own nestle and do not have a chocolate milk factory in the back of the shop where we make and produce the chocolate milk."
"Then he said he no longer wanted it because he is "hearing now that it is not fresh" so he tried to get a refund on a half drunk chocolate milk and I had to explain to him that no, we can not do that. And then he left in a huff. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it really is true. People this stupid exist in our world as members of society." Timothy_McEvoy
“Left footed”
“‘How do left handed people drive?’ -my sister. As she then proceeded to try and drive ‘left footed’.” thats_up_top
Almost like teaching CRT is important...
“If the holocaust was real, why didnt the jews just get out? Edit: as in.....walk out of the camps they were held in.” Y_10HK29
“I've had way too many people ask/"ask" me this regarding slavery. ‘Why didn't they just up and leave, or up and murder the enslavers? There's 50 of them and 5 of the family that owned them!’”
“Idk man, perhaps because a nation whose laws, economy, and customs actively supported slavery somehow didn't also have many pathways for escaped people to just waltz away and live freely, or much in the way of legal loopholes that would allow them to murder people without repercussions.”
“Plus when enslavement is race-based, anyone who looks a particular way walking around freely would draw suspicion from literally everyone who saw them.” Much_Difference
But he became a real boy!
“On a tour bus in Italy. A tourist kept asking to see Pinocchio's grave. The tour guide explained he wasn't a real boy. The tourist again said, but where is he buried? He just wasn't understanding."
“Edit: We were in Florence and the guide was sharing stories about Carlo Collodi, Pinocchio's creator. She later shared other hilarious stories about things tourists asked about." AlkahestGem
People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
“Some dad’s breath...”
“At an old job we had balloons in the office leftover from a kids birthday party in the restaurant. A server comes in, and says 'Oh Balloons!' She then picked a balloon up OF THE GROUND, opened it, inhaled the air and said hello all excitedly.”
“She then goes 'Oh! Why didn't it work?' Her face when I explained to her that wasn't helium she had just breathed in, but some Dad's breath that'd been in the balloon for hours, was priceless.” SergeantSGT
Disgusted No Thank You GIF by Shark WeekGiphy“My bother in law plastered baby oil all over his body and sat out in the sun for 2hrs. I told him he was going to get skin cancer. His response ‘I don't believe in skin cancer’. This is the guy who refuses to have a microwave in his house because ‘they are bad for you’.” Cattangel63
To be fair his hair was fantastic and it was the 80s...
“It blew my mind when I found out that David Bowie's hair didn't always look like it did in Labyrinth. I was maybe 7 or so, and while I understood the concept of actors, I just thought as a rock star in the '80s that he looked like that all the time.” BangarangPita
David Bowie GIFGiphyAnd we have a winner...
“I worked at a hippy crystal store in the mall. These girls come up and are looking at our amethyst cathedrals. One reached out to touch it and her friend immediately held her back and pulled her away, yelling 'Don't touch that! It's Asthmathyst! Being around it gives you asthma'. She was genuinely upset…I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard that one." spooky_panic
“Water potatoes?”
“All of these stories are great. Mine isn't super crazy, but it always makes me laugh. My wife called me while I was at the store probably two years ago and told me to get a few things. She starts listing things off and says ‘can you get me some water potatoes’ I had to stop and reboot my brain because that was a sentence I had never heard before.”
“I thought she was messing with me but nope! Deadly serious. After a back and fourth of her trying to explain to me what in the hell it was she was asking for, I find out she wanted water chestnuts. So now they're just called water potatoes in my house.” King_Metzy
No that's definitely not it...
“When I was in high school, I took Latin, which ended up being about half language class and half Roman history class. One day, our teacher asked us if anyone knew what the Feast of the Lupercal was.”
“This kid's hand shot up and he said ‘Oooh! Oooh! Isn't that when the Jews eat their foreskins?’ Class was effectively canceled due to laughter. After about 10 minutes, our teacher got up, went into the next classroom, brought back that teacher and told the kid to repeat what he had said.”
“He did, and the other teacher just stood there, mouth open and shaking his head. 20 years later, my best friend and I still get a laugh out of this.” LastLingonberry3221
It can't unhinge like a snakes jaw for goodness sake!
“That I am technically not a twin because I was born 2 min earlier then my brother instead of exactly at the same time.” Kaporalisvarner
“one of the girls dead serious asked me what it was like living in igloos...”
“When I was in highschool (I'm from Toronto, Canada) I went to Chicago and went on a boat tour highlighting the architecture of the buildings around the city. While on there I began talking to a group of grade 12 students on a field trip from a high school just outside of Chicago.”
“I mentioned I was visiting from Canada and one of the girls dead serious asked me what it was like living in igloos and did we actually get around by dog sledding. It took a lot of people to convince her that Canadians don't all just live in igloos. She even topped it off by asking if our bathrooms were the same. Me and my mom could not get over it.” AcanthocephalaLost40
“I was at an all night coffee shop near a college campus. A jock was trying to impress his study partner with a 20 minute oratory that Watchmen -- the Zack Snyder adaptation of the graphic novel -- was ‘about love.’ His speech caused me physical pain from 2 tables over.”
“His study partner kept having giggle fits because she was watching me wince the whole time. Dude was trying so, so earnestly to impress her with his mind; I don't know how he didn't know he was getting laid that night, and it wasn't because of his brains. I wanted so desperately to walk over, hand him the condom from my wallet, and tell him not to breed.” Relevant-Slide2759
Wait mmmm, that's not how it works...
”My first time in the USA (I'm from South Africa), I met a girl and told her that I love being here but am sad that I'm missing my summer for her winter (it was December). She could not understand how it was a different season in the Southern Hemisphere. Could not comprehend Christmas in Summer.”
“Eventually I managed to convince her of this truth. A few days later, she brought me a gift and said Happy Birthday to me (my birthday is July 16, she said HBD on December 16). She figured that since the seasons are switched the months must be switched too…” ziggyfro
Getting pulled over walking...
“A cop stopped me one day, as I was walking home from the corner store. He pulled up in front of me as I was about to cross the neighborhood street and snarls at me... What are you doing over here!? I said well I live here.. what are you doing here?"
“He says 'WELL WE GOT A CALL THAT THERE WAS SOMEONE RIDING A BIKE DOWN THIS STREET!' I couldn't help but let out a small giggle as I started to ask ok but why are You here tho?? First sir I didn't even know that was a thing."
“Like can people not ride bikes down the street anymore or are you only with people riding a bike down this particular one. ... In a low Harald and Kumar voice I added 'Is this your street, sir?' Haha so why did you stop and start questioning me then.. you realize I'm walking ?" SeirraD223
“Karen conspiracy theorist...”
“My mom thought america made covid to economically reset the world and she thought my brother was on vacation in North Korea. My mom is mostly smart but sometimes she just becomes some Karen conspiracy theorist for some reason." jurredbeste21
Not exactly, try again...
“A friend of my brother saw a picture of mount rushmore and said ‘hey guys, look at the beatles’. I mean, sure, i also think that john, paul, ringo and george should have been presidents, buuuut.” torpedolina
Well if these weren't enough to make your brain hit and want to fund education we don't know what will.
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History is shaped by mistakes. Some lead to monumental leaps forward in human understanding. Most do not. Of those in the second category, many are simply embarrassing, and result in a good bar story. Meanwhile, other have simply disastrous consequences. Below are 48 of the biggest mistakes that have been committed in history.
1. He Should Have Accepted the Offer
Google signPhoto by Pawel Czerwinski on UnsplashIn 1999, the founders of Google approached Excite CEO George Bell, offering to sell him the search engine for $1 million. When Bell refused, they lowered the price to $750,000, which he also rejected. Today, Google is valued at over $300 billion.
2. We’ll Pass
person holding black android smartphonePhoto by Dimitri Karastelev on UnsplashIn 2009, Facebook turned down a pair of programmers for jobs. No big deal, right? Must happen all the time at FB HQ...
A few years later, though, the pair developed WhatsApp. Facebook subsequently purchased that venture for a cool $19 billion.
3. Trains Were Too Wide
a silver train pulling into a train stationPhoto by Jametlene Reskp on UnsplashThe French state railway SNCF spent $15 billion on a new fleet of trains, but unfortunately, they were the wrong size and were too wide for their 1300 platforms. The mistake cost them an estimated $50 million to correct.
4. A Case of Bad Timing
File:Napoleon at Fontainebleau, 31 March 1814 (by Hippolyte Paul ...commons.wikimedia.orgJust over 200 years ago, Napoleon’s army attempted to invade Russia.
Whoops.
A combination of factors spelled doom for the invasion. There wasn't nearly enough food for the men and horses. Poor discipline was rampant in the ranks. And, of course, none of the men were prepared for the unimaginable brutality of a full Russian winter.
It was a devastating failure. Napoleon lost 500,000 troops.
5. Infidelity is Expensive
File:Tiger Woods June 2014 (cropped).jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgTiger Woods’s admission of multiple illicit affairs with women cost him his wife and $750 million. He also lost his sponsorships with Gatorade and others, but even worse, the shareholders of the companies with Tiger Woods endorsements lost an estimate $5 to $12 billion dollars in the wake of the scandal.
6. Gambled and Lost
selective focus photography of bubblePhoto by Daniel Hansen on UnsplashThe Spanish telecom company Terra took a gamble when they purchased the search engine Lycos in 2000 for almost $12 billion. At the time, Lycos was the third most visited site in America...but that was before the dot com bubble burst. In just about a year, most internet companies in America lost millions in value. And Lycos was perhaps the biggest loser.
Terra would eventually sell the search engine in 2004 for just $95.4 million. That's an astonishing loss of $11.6 billion dollars on their investment.
7. I Accidentally Taped Over It!
Buzz Aldrin on the moon in front of the US flagPhoto by NASA on UnsplashBack in the days of data tapes, it was easy to accidentally tape over earlier recordings. Unfortunately for NASA, that’s exactly what they did, and the original tapes of the moon landing were erased and re-used. Luckily, they were able to restore the original broadcast and offer the world a glimpse of the historic event.
The admission that NASA accidentally erased the original footage had fed rocket fuel to conspiracy theorists, who already believed the entire lunar program that landed people on the moon six times between 1969 and 1972 was staged on a Hollywood set.
8. The Worst Nuclear Accident in U.S. History
File:Exelon Three Mile Island Nuclear Generating Station.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe nuclear meltdown at Three Mile Island in March of 1979 was the result of mechanical failures that were made worse by poor training and oversights in the human-computer interaction design. It was the most significant nuclear disaster in U.S. commercial nuclear power plant history.
There are conflicting reports on the cost of the disaster, with some sources stating that the radiation exposure wasn't significant enough to result in additional instances cancer, while others insist the radiation caused thousands of cases.
9. Loss of Cultural Knowledge
File:The Great Library of Alexandria - Colorized.jpg - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe Great Library of Alexandria was one of the largest and most significant libraries of the ancient world, and was dedicated to the Muses—the 9 goddesses of the Arts.
The burning of the library resulted in an irreplaceable loss of knowledge and literature.
10. Didn’t Understand the Food Chain
File:Mao Zedong 1959 (cropped).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgFrom 1958-1962, Chairman Mao Zedong of China launched the “Four Pests Campaign,” which would exterminate rats, flies, mosquitoes, and sparrows. What they didn’t realize was that sparrows ate a large number of insects. Without the sparrows to eat them, locust populations grew and created an ecological imbalance that exacerbated the Great Chinese Famine, which claimed the 15-30 million deaths.
That's right, when Chairman Mao Zedong ordered the extermination of sparrows, he accidentally sentenced 15 million citizens to death, all because he didn't realize that sparrows were mission critical for pest control.
11. Is That Leaning?
people walking on green grass field near white concrete building during daytimePhoto by Jainam Mehta on UnsplashThe Leaning Tower of Pisa is a free-standing bell tower in the city of Pisa Italy.
The tower is famous for its lean, but that wasn’t by design. The foundation for the tower was built on ground that was too soft to support its weight, and it started to lean during construction.
12. Threw Away Millions
black and red UK flag pedal trash bin near white wooden doorPhoto by Steve Johnson on UnsplashA lottery winner in England lost $181 million when her husband accidentally threw away her winning ticket. The woman knew the announced numbers were hers, because she always wrote them down on a separate sheet of paper before giving the ticket to her husband.
13. Brought Down by Foam
File:Space Shuttle Columbia launching.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgOn Feb 1, 2003, the Space Shuttle Columbia disastrously disintegrated on re-entry, claiming the lives of all seven crew members. Back when the shuttle launched, a piece of foam fell from the shuttle’s external tank and punctured the shuttle’s wing, causing damage that made the rocket unable to withstand re-entry.
NASA knew about the problem when it occurred, and came under scrutiny for their negligence.
14. Cutting Corners
Deepwater Horizon - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgIn April 2010, a BP oil rig burst in the Gulf of Mexico, pushing nearly five million barrels of oil from the well. It was eventually determined that years of BP favoring speed over safety and cutting corners were the true causes of the accident.
15. Couldn’t Corner the Market
white and black striped textilePhoto by Andrew Kliatskyi on UnsplashYasuo Hamanaka, the former chief copper trader at Sumitomo in Japan attempted to corner the market (get enough market share to manipulate the price) on copper back in 1996.
Before prices dropped and the scheme collapsed, Sumitomo controlled as much as 5% of the world’s copper. He was known as "Mr. Copper" because of his aggressive trading style. On June 13, 1996, Sumitomo Corporation reported a loss of US$1.8 billion caused by unauthorized copper trading by Hamanaka on the London Metal Exchange. It was later revealed that the true losses caused by Hamanka totaled $2.6 billion dollars.
16. Should Have Prepared for Winter
File:RIAN archive 301 An attack.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn June of 1941, Hitler was riding high on his victories and was determined to claim the Russian territories to fulfill Germany’s destiny. Convinced that he would easily win, he ignored the warnings of his military, and reportedly told them that “We have only to kick in the front door and the whole rotten Russian edifice will come tumbling down." Thanks to some strategical miscalculations on the German generals' part, and their unpreparedness for Russian winter, the Germans were eventually forced to retreat.
17. That’s Not the System We Used!
a red planet with a black backgroundPhoto by Planet Volumes on UnsplashA group of Lockheed engineers used Imperial units of measurement to build the Mars Orbiter, but the rest of the team used Metric. The use of two different systems caused the spacecraft to approach Mars on a trajectory that brought it too close to the plane. It disintegrated as it passed through the upper atmosphere. The mistake cost NASA approximately $125 million back in 1999.
18. Guitar Groups are Out
File:Beatles ad 1965 just the beatles crop.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgDick Rowe, an A&R man at Decca Records at the time of the Beatles’ audition, is known in history as "the man who turned down the Beatles." Sources that after Rowe first heard the Fab Four, he told their manager that “Groups with guitars are on their way out.”
After their rejection, he went on to sign the Rolling Stones and several other famous groups, but missing out on the Beatles was a big one: The Beatles have sold 600 million albums worldwide and 177 million in the United States alone.
19. They Defeated Themselves
<a href="http://api.aucklandmuseum.com/id/media/v/93335">commons.wikimedia.org</a>
On September 18, 1788, during their conflict with Turkey, a group of Austrian soldiers bought some hard beverages from a band of locals in the town of Karansebes. They had too much and began to shout that the Turks were coming.
Mass confusion ensued (partly due to language barriers), panicked men began firing at the supposed "Turkish invaders" and by the morning, 10,000 of their own men were dead. With Friends like that, who needs enemies?
20. Safety First.
Free Images : live, equipment, spray, training, flame, fire ...pxhere.comOil workers on the Piper Bravo Oil Rig were evacuated after an explosion killed 167 of the 226 men working on the rig in July of 1988. A safety inspector forgot to replace a valve after a routine check, and when a worker (unaware that a valve was missing) pushed the start button, gas leaked out.
21. Poked the Wrong Bear
File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgThe Sultan of the Khwarezm Empire in present-day Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, and Iran had agreed to a trade treaty with Genghis Khan, but when the caravan arrived, the Governor of Otrar seized the goods and had all but one of the merchants killed.
Khan then sent a delegation to the Shah to demand punishment, and he responded by shaving the heads of the ambassadors and sending the interpreter home headless. Kahn retaliated by invading and conquering Otrar.
22. A Not-So-Controlled Burn
a large fire is burning in the mountainsPhoto by Mike Newbry on UnsplashIn 2000, the Cerro Grande fire in New Mexico began as a controlled blaze, but things quickly turned into a disaster. High winds and drought let the fire spread rapidly, and soon authorities had completely lost control. The fire burned for more than a month, destroying 48,000 acres, and displacing more than 400 families.
23. Blind Belief
File:Fukushima radiation dose map 2011-04-29.png - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgThe triple meltdowns at the Fukushima Number 1 power plant occurred largely because the Japanese government had a blind belief that the plants were so safe, a major disaster was impossible—despite warnings that the aging plants were vulnerable. The accident will take an estimated 40 years and billions of dollars to clean up.
24. They Should Have Listened
underwater photography of titanicPhoto by NOAA on UnsplashStop me if you've heard this one...
In April 1912, the largest passenger ship ever built began its maiden voyage across the Atlantic from England to New York. It would never finish the trip.
The Titanic was called "unsinkable". It wasn't. The ship sank in the early morning hours of April 15, after crashing into an iceberg and taking on water.
Long before the actual incident, the Titanic's crew received warnings about icebergs in the area. In the interest of saving time, the warnings were ignored. That mistake claimed the lives of 1,517 people.
25. Billion-Dollar Write-Down
File:Sony Movies Logo.svg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgSony thought that they were making a smart purchase when they scooped up Columbia Pictures for $3.4 billion in 1989. The cost of the deal increased when they had to spend $200 million on another production company, and another $500 million to settle a lawsuit. In the end, they were forced to take a 3.2-billion-dollar write-down on the acquisition.
26. They Thought It Was Useless
Sydney Opera House, AustraliaPhoto by Photoholgic on UnsplashDutch navigators extensively explored Australia almost a century before Captain James Cook claimed it for Great Britain in 1770, but they chose not to settle there because it failed to live up to their expectations. The island had been fabled to be overflowing with gold and giants, and they were disappointed by the seemingly barren coastline.
27. Equipment Failure
flying stealth plane during dayPhoto by Matt Artz on UnsplashAmerica’s most expensive jet was destroyed on a practice flight in Guam when faulty sensors caused the plane to stall on take-off and crash. Luckily, both pilots were able to eject safely.
28. They Wished They’d Kept It
brown wooden signage on gray sand during daytimePhoto by Alexis Mette on UnsplashAt the end of the Crimean War, Russia was weakened and had very little money, and they knew that Britain could simply take over their Alaskan territory if they wished. As far as the Tsar was concerned, it was just a useless piece of barren land, so he decided to sell it to the United States, rather than lose it to their British enemies.
Neither party knew about the gold and oil that lay beneath the land. If they had, Russia likely wouldn’t have sold it for 2 cents an acre.
29. There Was No Feast
brown concrete statue under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Azzedine Rouichi on UnsplashIn 1532, Conquistador Fransisco Pizarro lured the Inca ruler Atahualpa to a supposed feast in his honor. It turned out to be a trap. Pizarro’s men massacred 80,000 Inca warriors, and captured Atahualpa. As a final humiliation, Pizarro forced Atahualpa to convert to Christianity before executing him.
30. An Unsuccessful Merger
blue audi coupe parked on green grass field during daytimePhoto by Udo Meyer on UnsplashUnfortunately for Mercedes Benz, their 1998 merger with Chrysler failed to work out as planned, and less than a decade later in 2007, Mercedes sold the company for $7 billion—about $13 billion less than they’d paid for it.
31. Hydrogen Is Flammable
File:Hindenburg burning.jpg - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.orgThe Hindenburg disaster marked the end of the airship era, claiming all 35 passengers and one member of the ground crew. The airship caught fire because of a spark that ignited leaking hydrogen. As the Germans discovered, hydrogen is an extremely flammable and dangerous substance, and using it to fill airships perhaps wasn’t the smartest idea.
32. Fire and Blood
silhouette of trees during night timePhoto by Henrique Malaguti on UnsplashA hunter was responsible for starting the biggest fire in California’s history back in 2003. He lost a lit signal flare near the San Diego County Estates and the fire spread. Close to 300,000 acres and 2,322 homes were destroyed. 14 people also lost their lives.
33. Who Left the Gate Open?
brown concrete building under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Raimond Klavins on UnsplashForgetting to close a gate isn’t normally that big a deal--unless you’re the unfortunate Roman who forgot to close the Kerkoporta Gate at Constantinople. That unfortunate soul single-handedly lost a siege.
You see, the walls of Constantinople were generally regarded to be impregnable. This contributed to a sense of confidence and security for the Roman defenders, who were under siege by a much larger Ottoman force.
So when one Roman guard accidentally left the gate open at night, a group of 50 Ottomans was able to sneak in under cover of night, slaughtering the Roman guards and raising their flag on the walls. This caused panic in the Roman ranks, who were left with the impression that the city had somehow been conquered overnight. The resulting loss of morale helped the Ottomans to actually conquer and loot the city with a subsequent invasion.
34. Abandoning the Navy
File:Zheng He Treasure Ship (15832736462).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org500 or so years ago, China had one of the greatest seafaring fleets in the world. They boasted 5 times the size of those being built in Europe.
By 1525, the entire fleet had been destroyed. Chinese elites urged the government to destroy their own fleet, concerned about the rising status of the middle class who had benefited from the international trade that the "Treasure Fleet" enabled. The vessels were either set aflame or left to rot at port. Economists believe this act crippled China's economy and drastically reduced its world influence.
35. Serial Infidelity
Mining Magnate Dmitri Rybolovlev allegedly slept with other women on his yacht, leading his wife to accuse him of "serial infidelity." The divorce battle that ensued forced him to sell assets to raise cash for the settlement.
36. A Fatal Wrong Turn
File:HGM Wilhelm Vita Porträt Franz Ferdinand.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgWho would have imagined that a wrong turn could turn the entire world on its head? That’s what happened on June 14, 1914, when Archduke Ferdinand’s driver made a wrong turn. He turned down the road where the assassin Gavrilo Princip was enjoying a sandwich. The driver, realizing his mistake, slammed on the brakes and caused the car to stall, which gave Princip the opportunity to fire into the car at close range.
37. Great Ideas That Didn’t Work
classic teal sedan near house during daytimePhoto by Peter Secan on UnsplashIn 1957, Ford introduced the Edsel.
The car was a massive gamble. For a year before its release, Ford spent millions on a teaser campaign, which billed the as-yet-unseen Edsel as the car of the future.
Turns out, it wasn't.
The car was introduced with fanfare and excitement... but Ford would stop production in 1959, just two years after the initial sale. Unfortunately for Ford, it failed to live up to the hype created by their advertising campaign. The whole debacle cost them an estimated $250 million.
38. A Strategical Error
File:Pearl Harbor submarine base in the early 1930s.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe U.S. had three aircraft carriers assigned to Pearl Harbor at the time of the Japanese attack, but they had been displaced on missions on the day of the attack. The Japanese had received intelligence that the carriers weren’t there, but decided that it wasn’t important. This turned out to be the wrong decision, as those aircraft carriers later helped the U.S. win the fight against Japan.
39. A Flaw in the Design
File:IAEA 02790015 (5613115146).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgOn 26th April 1986, engineers at the V.I. Lenin Nuclear Power Station, a Soviet facility, were testing a new cooling system designed to reduce the risk of a meltdown. Their test caused a meltdown, and the resulting explosion destroyed Chernobyl’s reactor 4.
The Chernobyl Forum predicts that the eventual toll could reach 4,000 among those exposed to the highest levels of radiation. That said, what many people don't know is that the plant actually remained a fully-functioning power plant for years after the disaster.
The disaster destroyed reactor 4, but reactors 1-3 remained open for business. Due to high levels of radiation, plant employees could no longer live beside the facility, but many continued to commute to work to supply power in Europe. The final reactor only ceased operating in 2000.
40. Lost His Hard Drive
gold and silver round coinsPhoto by Kanchanara on UnsplashIn 2009, James Howells bought 7,500 bitcoin when they weren’t worth anything, and by 2013, they had risen to a value of 613 British pounds each, giving him a multi-million dollar portfolio. The only problem was that he’d thrown away the hard drive where the bitcoins were stored.
When he realized his mistake, he went to the landfill to try and recover it, but he was unable to locate it.
41. A Costly Spelling Mistake
Petition to File For BankruptcyPhoto by Melinda Gimpel on UnsplashThe British government was sued for £9 million after a clerical error resulted in the wrong company being recorded as in liquidation. Companies House mistakenly mistook a 124-year-old Welsh company called “Taylor and Sons” for a bankrupt company “Taylor and Son” due to a clerical error that inserted an extra ‘s’ onto a liquidation notice. The mistake cost 250 people their jobs.
42. Too Easy to Copy
Day 250: Summer Addiction | I was first introduced to Snappl… | Flickrwww.flickr.comWhen Quaker purchased Snapple for $1.4 billion in 1994, their goal was to sell it in every grocery store in the country. But Snapple was so successful in the smaller brand-name grocery stores that companies like Pepsi and Coca-Cola made their own copycat brands. Quaker sold Snapple after just three years for significantly less than what they paid.
43. Don’t Drink and Steer
File:Exxon Valdez Cleanup.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn 1989, an Exxon oil tanker was headed to California when it ran aground on the Bligh Reef off the Alaskan coast. The tanker spilled around 760,000 barrels of oil into the water, and the captain was later accused of being drunk at the time of the accident. He was convicted of negligent discharge of oil.
44. A Fat Finger Trade
textPhoto by jun rong loo on UnsplashA Japanese trader cost his company nearly $2 million when he accidentally sold 610,000 shares for 1 yen, instead of 1 share at 610,000 yen. It was a “fat-finger keyboard error”, a mistake in which a trader places a buy/sell order at a far greater size than intended.
45. You Can’t Dock Here!
yellow and blue abstract paintingPhoto by Didssph on UnsplashWhen a storm caused one of the 12 oil tanks on the MV Prestige to burst, the captain called for help from Spanish rescue workers, expecting to bring the vessel into the harbor before it sank. Because the Spanish, French, and Portuguese governments refused to allow the ship to dock in their ports, the ship eventually split in half and sank, releasing over 20 million gallons of oil into the sea.
46. No Heir, No Empire
File:Alexander the Great mosaic.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgAlexander the Great succeeded in forging the largest Western empire of the ancient world-- only for it to fall apart because he never named an heir.
Shortly before he gave his last breath, Alexander was asked who should succeed him. He responded simply, “the strongest"...as though that was a helpful answer.
As it turns out, men who've spent their lives conquering much of the known world tend to be a little competitive. Upon his passing, Alexander's generals immediately vied to fill the power vacuum... leaving his carefully crafted empire to crumble.
47. Houston We Have A Mistake
January 28, 1986 – Space Shuttle Challengerwww.history.navy.milApproximately 17% of Americans were watching on the morning of January 28, 1986, as the Space Shuttle Challenger launched toward space. Onboard were 6 NASA astronauts, as well as Payload Specialist Christa McAuliffe, who was set to become the first teacher in space.
Tragedy struck just 72 seconds after liftoff. Gasses in the external fuel tank mixed, exploded, and tore the shuttle apart. All 7 crew members were lost.
Prior to the disaster, the builder of the solid-rocket boosters advised NASA that they believed the O-ring seals in the solid-rocket boosters could fail at extremely low temperatures. On the day of the launch, the temperature was 15 degrees colder than any previous launch in history.
48. Rejected Harry Potter
J.K. Rowling’s literary agency received 12 rejections for Harry Potter. When the 8-year-old daughter of an editor at Bloomsbury demanded to read the rest of the book, Bloomsbury finally agreed to publish it...but also advised Rowling to "get a day job" as there was little chance of making any money with children’s books.
We get it adulting is hard.
But there are some things in life that don't require much beyond a high school education, yet so many people are clueless–particularly when it comes to matters of health and safety practices.
Curious to hear from baffled doctors and nurses about dealing with certain types of patients, Redditor babyhippo01 asked:
"Medical professionals of Reddit, have you ever had a patient so lacking in common sense you wondered how they made it this far. If so, what is your story?"
It's not rocket science.
Reading Instructions
"There is a reason the instructions for prescription suppositories say 'unwrap and insert' and not just 'insert.'"
– Artisanal_AF
An Afterthought
"I’m a pharmacist. One evening shift I was working a relief shift (not my usual pharmacy). A man comes in looking distressed."
"Man: I had sexual relations with a woman I do not intend to pursue a long term relationship with. (Yes. He said it just like that)"
"Me: okay. I’m assuming there was an accident or it was unprotected. How long ago did it happen?"
"Man: last night, at 7pm on the couch. (Woah TMI, I just need to know approximate time to know if plan B will work o.o)"
"Me: we have this medication called Plan B, and since the incident happened within 72 hours-"
"Man: oh yes, I got that for her already yesterday right after we finished. We want to know if there is anything we can do to know if she is pregnant now."
"Me: unfortunately not. She’ll have to wait 3 weeks or so to see if she gets her period, and if she doesn’t then she can do a pregnancy test then. Theoretically you could do a blood test for faster results, but that would also not be until a couple of weeks, at least."
"Man: we’re just really anxious because she really doesn’t want to be pregnant. Is there anything that she can take to prevent the pregnancy? Any multivitamin? Minerals? Food?"
"Me: she’s already taken it, which was the plan B. There are some other options but those are prescriptions. And no, there are no over-the-counter products she can take."
"Man: What about me? Is there anything I can take now to prevent the pregnancy? Any multivitamins or minerals?"
"Me:……………………………..No sir. There isn’t anything you can take now."
– V_imaginary
"Improper Specimen"
"73 here, former clinical microbiologist, LONG ago."
"Still, I found myself all over the clinical lab at times, not just infectious disease."
"So, one day, this 20-something guy (wife and mom in tow) walks in with a paper request for semen analysis, pre-computer era."
"Ok, not the most comfortable encounter, but I'm a professional and did this drill many times."
"He had not been briefed by the doc and had no idea how establishing infertility in males was done."
"Well, OK, a challenge, then."
"I took him aside and... using standard medical terminology told him how a diagnosis is made and what he needed to do to provide a specimen."
"He couldn't/wouldn't believe that I was asking him to masturbate into that container. Astonished!"
"Then he played dumb, as if the word was unfamiliar to him."
"We looped through the medical terms and procedure again, and I eventually resorted to every word I knew to describe the 'act.'"
"It was like a George Carlin bit!"
"A half hour later, he emerged from the toilet with two inches of urine in the cup. God Almighty."
"The report went back 'patient provided improper specimen.'"
– BrunoGerace
The following examples are relating to drinking problems.
The Giver Of Life
"Paramedic. Elderly woman complains that her mouth is dry and she felt a bit dizzy climbing the stairs earlier. Go through the whole rigamarole of getting a medical history, vitals, more detail on symptoms. Ask her what she's had to drink today."
"A cup of tea, ten hours ago."
"Any water? No."
"Guess what fixed it within five minutes."
– SpatchcockMcGuffin
Java Junkie
"Physical Therapist - Had a patient with neck pain and spasms, also complained of anxiety and heart palpitations. Asked about caffeine intake and patient revealed drinking and average on 15-20 cups of coffee daily."
– jdotbrone
Oh, you're not ready for these stories.
Man At The Mower
"Had a buddy who was an EMT, he was called out to a location for a gunshot wound."
"Apparently what happened is a father was mowing his lawn when he accidentally touched part of the mower near the engine and burned his hand. He got mad at the lawnmower, pulled out his pistol, and shot it. The bullet ricocheted and hit his son in the leg."
– Kretuhtuh
Immaculate Misconception
"Not me but my mother would pick up shifts as a nurse sometimes in Labour and Delivery and she had met a handful of women who didn’t know the baby was going to be coming out of their vaginas. Like no clue. My mom usually said something like 'how you got it in is how it’s coming out honey'. This was the late 90 early 2000s."
– QuailPuzzled1286
One Small Detail
"Rural ER doc here: 35 year old female walks in with right sided jaw/neck swelling. 'I think it happened because I ate some meat yesterday that my body is reacting to' … 10 minutes later : 'oh yeah, and I accidentally swallowed a bee and it stung me in my mouth right before this happened. Sorry I forgot to mention that.'"
– ThomasToHandle
Parents might be blamed for their kids' intelligence levels.
Some teachers could be responsible for overlooking teaching the basics.
Or maybe it's the rural locale where they were born and raised having something to do with it.
Whatever the circumstances, it's confounding that anyone capable of communicating and thinking for themselves can be so oblivious.
When parents see their children grow aggressive and resort to hitting and throwing things, they often tell their children to "use their words".
While violence is never the answer, this advice might not always be the best advice, as sometimes words can hurt much harder than a punch or being hit in the head by a flying object.
Indeed, some people are still finding ways to recover from things people have said to them in the past.
Be it a demeaning insult or learning news they hoped they would never hear in their lives.
"What's the worst thing that's ever been said to you?"
Also, None Of Your Business!
"'Why did you stay with him?'"
"'Weren't you guys only dating for what, like a year and a half?'"
"Two years you mother f*cker and it was because I refused to leave the love of my life as he was dying rapidly of brain cancer."- Squeakymeeper13
Ugliness Comes From Within...
"I was at a bar to see a friend's band."
"Random woman walks over and tells me, 'People who look like you should stay home so the rest of us can have a nice time not having to look at you'."- ChrisNEPhilly
So Much For Love...
"The reason I want a divorce is because I don't want to spend the rest of my life taking care of someone who's handicapped"- Kervon37
The Truth Can Hurt So, So Much...
“'I’m sorry - there was nothing more we could do'.”
"I was 27, the love of my life had died in my arms."- billdogg7246
Part Of Being A Parent Is Just Showing Up
"My dad left my family when I was a little girl."
"One day after years of unresolved feelings I talked to him on the phone as a teenager."
“'I just don’t feel like you’re my dad'.”
“'We’ll I don’t feel like you’re my daughter'.”- callathanmodd
The Only Dreams That Matter Are Your Own
"When I was like 8 I was a huge dinosaur nerd."
"I remember saying I wanted to be a paleontologist, my mother promptly says 'honey I'm pretty sure all the dinosaurs will be discovered by then...' I was devastated."
"I think she thought she was looking out for me."
"Anyway now if a new dinosaur gets uncovered I send her a clipping in the mail (I make sure it's physical piece of paper so she knows I put work into it)."- twlvfngrs
"I'd say "forget about learning to draw, you will never be an artist anyway" said by both my mother and my younger bro, who are both pro artists who went to art school."
"Still gonna draw though. I'd do it even if it kills me."- RandomDude1801
You Only Stop Living When No One Remembers Your Name
"'You don't have a dad anymore'."
"Said by my mom when I asked how long he's going to spend in a hospital."
"I was 7."
"He died from a heart attack right before my eyes, and mom tried to resuscitate him for forty minutes while waiting for an ambulance to arrive."- NTaya
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"'If you get a girl pregnant, run'."
"Thanks for letting me know exactly how you felt about me 'dad'."
"I hope you've enjoyed the decades of no contact."- CleverName9999999999
News No One Wants To Hear
"'I'm sorry, she's gone'."
"Wife went to the hospital because she hadn't felt our daughter moving in her tummy for a couple hours."
"She calls and asks me to come to the birthing center immediately and I ask if I need to bring the overnight bag."
"She said 'no, just bring our son'."
"I knew then but couldn't believe it."
"Our daughter died from a true umbilical knot at 36.5 weeks and was delivered 2 days later stillborn."
"She was a perfectly healthy baby but was suffocated slowly by her own lifeline."- grievingdad2022
Some People...
"Was in a bad place mentally."
"Decided I am going to start jogging to help how I feel."
"Where I decided to go is a fairly main road."
"A car of young men decided to hang out the window and yell 'going to need to run faster fatty'."
"I have struggled with working out publicly ever since."
"Can’t say my mental state is much better and that happened years ago now."- sirius917
Or, They Could Have Actually Helped Before...
"I had many 'friends' tell me I should have tried harder to get my husband into rehab after he died from alcoholism."
"Ya know yeah I just let it happen."- prpljeepgurl30
Probably Shouldn't Be Teaching Anywhere...
"In high school, one of my teachers told me 'you are the reason I hate coming to work and teaching here'.”
"It was a challenge to stay focused after that."- unicycle-rider
Intimidation Is Not Encouragement
"My Gym teacher in 8th grade while I was running a relay race: 'you don't really try in anything do you'."
"I really was trying as hard as I can."
"F*ck that guy."- oboshoe
Most physical wounds or injuries can be treated and go away or diminish over time.
But when someone says something harmful to us or tells us something we never want to hear, it will linger in our memories for the rest of our life.
"Someday we'll laugh about this."
You have to wonder if the people involved in the following historical events saw the humor at the time—or ever.
No matter.
People are laughing now.
Redditor crooked_yellow asked:
"Which event from history will always be funny?"
We All Fall Down
"Ancient Korea had special recording officials, whose job was to record everything. They were considered separate from the government, so the emperor of the time wasn’t allowed to give them orders or tell them not to record something."
"Of course, some emperors would try anyway."
"On one occasion, King Taejong (15th century) fell off his horse while hunting. The recorder nearby wrote it down. The emperor insisted that it be removed from the record, and even tried to have the report destroyed."
"This lead to some nonsense as the emperor kept destroying their work, but the recorders kept copying it and hiding it in increasingly obscure places. And of course, recorded the whole thing as it happened."
"A few hundred years later, and the only thing that emperor is famous for is trying to hide the fact he fell off his horse."
- lankymjc
"I picture some dude writing something like:"
"'at 11:35am on Sunday, the 9th of September the emperor fell off his horse'."
"11:37 emperor says 'don't write that down'."
"11:39 emperor tries to take book from me'."
"11:43 emperor fell in mud chasing me yelling 'Don't write that!'"
"11:50 lunch is being set as the emperor cleans up. He is upset today'."
- Cbanchiere
Monkey See, Monkey Won't Do
"During the Napoleonic wars a French ship sank off the coast of Hartlepool England. The only survivor was the captain’s pet monkey which he always dressed in a French military uniform. The locals freaked out because the law was that any French military found on British soil must be executed as a spy."
"So they ordered the standard punishment for spies—death by hanging. Except instead of dying, the monkey just kept climbing up the rope."
"Because it was a monkey."
"Hartlepool has since embraced their failure at executing a tinyprimate for military espionage."
"Their local football team mascot is H'Angus the Monkey."
- korar67
Crying Fowl
"Spanish chicken farmer Juan Pujol Garcia tried to become a spy for the MI5, but they rejected him. He then applied to become a spy for the Nazi SS, who accepted him. The SS gave him the order to start a spy network in London, but instead he set up shop in Lisbon."
"There, he started feeding the Nazi commanders a bunch of BS intel, based on publicly available newspapers and magazines. They were believable enough for the Nazis to accept it as truth, even though they were completely made up. Every once in a while, he would be confronted about 'bad intel'."
"He'd blame it on one of his fictional subordinates, and told his commanders he had 'rectified the problem.' In one situation, he told the Nazi's that his subordinate 'had fallen ill' and later 'died'."
"A fake obituary was placed in the newspapers to back his story up. He even convinced the Nazis to pay a pension to the (again, FICTIONAL) agent's widow."
"The MI5 became aware of his existence after they saw the Kriegsmarine waste considerable effort in hunting down a non-existing convoy, based on Garcia's (again, fake) intel. They enrolled him into their ranks, and that's when his bullsh*ttery started getting serious.
"He was given the nickname 'Garbo' in reference to 'the best actor in the world' Greta Garbo."
"Because the Nazis believed he was 'one of theirs' they even sent him an Enigma, to encode the messages he was sending them. It was promptly turned over to the codebreakers at Bletchley Park."
"His most important work was on Operation Fortitude. He helped convince Nazi high command that the invasion of Normandy was a diversion—officers believed a larger army was due to land in Calais."
"For his 'efforts' he was awarded the Iron Cross, authorized by Hitler himself. Understandably, the medal was awarded via radio."
"He was then also given an MBE medal by the British king, making him one of two people known to have received such prestigious medals from both sides."
"He faked his death and fled to Venezuela after the war, where he then ran a bookshop. His secret identity was undiscovered until a journalist got interested in the story, and managed to track him down in 1984."
"He managed to finagle the real name of 'Garbo' from a former spy and then found Garcia after literally calling every 'J. Garcia' in the Barcalona phonebook until he managed to get in contact with Garcia's nephew."
"The whole story is just so incredibly goofy. It's a prime example of 'wait, that worked?'."
- Smallwater
Eiffel Tower for Sale!
"The con man who sold the Eiffel Tower twice and got away with it."
- drunk_haile_selassie
"You left out the part where the same guy later conned Al Capone out of $5000. Between the Eiffel Tower, the Rumanian box, and conning one of the biggest gangsters in American history, Victor Lustig is a freaking legend."
- bard-security
Guess He Showed Them...
"When Persian king Xerxes punished the sea for ruining his bridge."
"He tried to build a bridge across the Dardanelles to get to Greece faster but a storm destroyed the bridge."
"'Infuriated with the sea, Xerxes ordered his soldiers to punish it by whipping it with chains 300 times and poking it with red-hot irons. Handcuffs were also tossed into the water to symbolize the sea’s submission to his authority'."
- _Norman_Bates
"Literal embodiment of 'old man yells at clouds' energy."
- Excellent_Routine589
GiphyOops!
"In 1945 the Americans were pushing through Germany."
"General Eisenhower sent General Patton a message, instructing him not to take the city of Trier because it would require 4 divisions to seize the city."
"Patton sent a message back saying 'Have taken Trier with two divisions… what do you want me to do, give it back?'"
- SayNoToStim
R.I.P. Thag
"In 1982 cartoonist Gary Larson drew a cartoon of a caveman giving a classroom lecture, pointing to the spikes of a stegasaurus dinosaur tail and calling that the thagomizer 'after the late Thag Simmons'."
"That particular arrangement of tail spikes had no name at the time, so scientists who were fans of Larson unofficially named it the thagomizer."
- doublestitch
He Followed Us Home, Can We Keep Him?
"In 1866 when going to war, Liechtenstein's army of 80 men came back with 81 men after making a friend from the enemy's side."
- DavosLostFingers
Not Dinner!
"The Kettle War."
"It was the 8th of october 1784."
"The Dutch kingdom and then Holy Roman Empire had a short naval battle and the only casulty was a kettle full of soup that got hit by a cannonball and that was the only shot that was fired."
- AlwaysHappy4Kitties
Apparently Bugs Was a Republican
"President Jimmy Carter was attacked by a rabbit while paddling around in a rowboat."
"The President was minding his own business rowing around a small pond and fishing when a rabbit left the shore and swam deliberately towards the boat, apparently crazed."
"Carter splashed the rabbit with water, driving it away from the boat."
"According to Press Secretary Jody Powell:"
“'Upon closer inspection, the animal turned out to be a rabbit. Not one of your cutesy, Easter Bunny-type rabbits, but one of those big splay-footed things that we called swamp rabbits when I was growing up'."
"The animal was clearly in distress, or perhaps berserk."
"The President confessed to having had limited experience with enraged rabbits."
"He was unable to reach a definite conclusion about its state of mind."
"What was obvious, however, was that this large, wet animal, making strange hissing noises and gnashing its teeth, was intent upon climbing into the Presidential boat.”
"Staff back on shore initially didn’t believe the president’s account, but a photographer managed to capture the moment."
"Carter’s political enemies used the incident as fodder to show that he was weak and claimed that his response to the rabbit attack incited the Soviet Union to invade Afghanistan that same year."
- bookem_danno
While these events are funny in hindsight, one has to wonder if people saw the humor in the moment.
Hopefully we're laughing with them and not just at them.