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People Break Down The Things That People Romanticize But Are Actually Awful

People Break Down The Things That People Romanticize But Are Actually Awful
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Do you know what popular thing I’m sick of people attempting to make romantic? The 1940s and 1950s.

How many times have we all heard the sentiments that dating isn’t like it used to be? Marriages don’t last like they used to?

Or how men knew how to be men or women were so glamorous back then? Or “I was made for a different time” citing romantic ideals of ice cream shop dates and car hops?

It’s a bunch of hooey.

Yes, we all love some great retro fashion but the time period was horribly oppressive. Those women—if even able or allowed to work—made so little per hour compared to men they could not typically be fully self sufficient.

Women were still raised for marriage and not their own dreams. They did awful things to themselves to fit into societal beauty standards at the time as it was tied in directly to their worth.

People of color had no rights, they were kept segregated and abused. The fight is still going today to undo the grievous social harms done during and after this time period.

So, forgive us if we don’t see the romance in “the olden days”.


Creative_Waltz_9462 wanted to hear what other wrongly romanticized occurrences bother others, so they asked:

What are you sick of being romanticized or portrayed positively?”

Harassment is encouraged.

​“Chasing a girl/boy who doesn’t want to be chased. And then making them feel bad, for not wanting to be with you. If someone isn’t interested, then it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. Don’t harass them. It’s not a good look.” OkHomework7009

​It’s a rampant and serious issue. 

​“Poverty - it’s always some family that is struggling but lives in some “run down” apartment that is merely small and not modern, but is heated and furnished and always has some amazing view or rooftop access that makes them feel the world is really theirs for the taking.”

“Nope nope nope. Unheated rat-infested roach motel with dangerous neighbors and a view of a fire-escape. Cut electric, cut heating, dinner of saltines if anything. Poverty is absolute shit and can be a death sentence to your health and sanity.” hyogodan

Suffering is not a virtue.

“Terminal illness. It doesn't 'open your eyes', it doesn't ‘give you a better outlook on life’. Most of them are horrible degenerative diseases that scrape away people's lives bit by bit until they are ghosts of their former selves.” TwentyFourSevenCID

Can we just stop making a joke of mental health?

​“Obsessive compulsive disorder (maybe “positively” is the wrong word, but it’s certainly portrayed as ‘quirky’ or ‘silly’ a lot)” blairbxtch

Ive seen this on social media a lot. OCD is NOT quirky at all. My intrusive thoughts are mostly about violence, harm(like wanting to hurt someone i love), really disturbing images, and like “if you dont do this, you will go to hell” sth like that. Seeing how it’s portrayed as ‘silly’ ‘quirky’ is infuriating. ‘Omgg im so ocd 😚😚’ 🤦‍♀️“ Apprehensive-Ad9077

Poverty is not 'cool'…

“Growing up in the hood. Sure, the story of triumph and making it out is great. But losing loved ones and friends throughout your childhood is a miserable and traumatizing experience. Not to mention the poverty and daily uncertainty.” astrofresh

"At 25 I finally escaped a generational cycle of poverty. That year my brother was murdered. It doesn’t even matter who I am anymore because I’ll never be the same without him.” titsandwits89


Be kind to artists…

​“Starving artist. Starving is not pleasant no matter what causes it.” Ashtar-the-squid

“To piggyback on this: the sad, depressed artist that turns his pain into ART. I would burn all of van gogh's paintings if it meant that poor man could have been happy.” Averysaur91

There’s nothing romantic about it…

“As an adoptee, someone discovering that they were adopted and then venturing off to find their "real" parents and this leads to them finding that thing that was missing from their lives. I've known that I was adopted for as long as I can remember.”

“My ‘real’ parents are the the ones that raised me, loved me and nurtured my thirst for knowledge. I've had some contact with my biological mother but have only some ethnic elements as points of commonality. Never had any contact with my biological father and have no pressing urge to reach out.”

“I wouldn't refuse him if he sought me out, but I have my own life and admire both of them for having the self awareness to know that neither of them were in a good place to raise a child.”

“EDIT: Wow, thank you so much for the awards. I would just like to add a little something here. If you are thinking of adopting, please don't be frightened that they won't love you because you don't share quite as many chromosomes. If are willing to give someone a loving and nurturing home and give up some of your own personal indulgences to do so, then you are a hero. As one respondant said, at least we (adoptees) know for certain that we were wanted.”

“And if you are somone who is thinking of putting up your child for adoption because you feel that you cannot provide them the life that they deserve, then please don't feel bad about that decision. As I said earlier, I have the utmost respect for my biological parents for being that self-aware and doing what was right by all of us."

"Giving up your child for adoption should be seen as an act of love and caring, not abandonment. Aliit ori'shya tal'din: Family is more than blood.” TheRealAegil

Those labels make me wretch more than the chemo.”

“Cancer diagnosis and its treatment. We are not all strong brave warriors and insisting we act like we are, to assuage non cancer sufferers fear of our diagnosis; doesn't allow us to safely process the trauma we are experiencing. Please stop.”

“EDIT: Thank for the awards. My sleeping tablet knocked me out and i woke up to alot of unexpectedness. I'm in active treatment for Breast cancer currently. I don't consider myself a warrior or brave. Those labels make me wretch more than the chemo.”

“I've taken to calling myself a Cancer Passenger as it mostly feels like I accidentally got on the wrong bus and now I'm holding on tight to see if i can get to my desired destination via an unexpectedness detour. I am sorry for all the raw loss shared below but bloody grateful for it too. We need desperately to talk more honestly about the reality of cancer and its treatments to allow us to manage it better and give us patients more dignified ends of our choice, if/when that time comes. Thank to you all.” SomethingElegant

They aren’t idols…

​“Mobsters/Cartel members. They are violent criminals responsible for murders and running lives.” drunkin_idaho

“It's really telling when you hear an old Brooklyn guy say that ‘the mob made things safe around here back in the day’... yeah, because your family was from the same part of Italy as the folks running the mob.”

“For every family that praises mob-controlled neighbourhoods, there is another that was ruthlessly extorted for protection money every week of their lives. Perspective varies depending on what side of the fence you're on.” FromFluffToBuff

ADHD

“ADHD. It's not just having tons of energy or being quirky. At best, that's only the very, very tip top of the iceberg. I was only diagnosed at age 27 and until receiving diagnosis and treatment, it was a major source of severe anxiety and depression, made school 1000x more difficult, and damn near got me fired from my job a couple years ago.” Chuck_Sharts1

“A common symptom of adhd is actually fatigue, that's something a lot of people really struggle to understand for some reason. And the memory issues, f**k me those are the worst. I actually used to be afraid I was getting early onset Alzheimer's before I found out memory issues was also an adhd symptom because of the way it affects working memory.” Ppleater

Let’s just stop romanticizing other people’s trauma shall we?

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The Weirdest Reasons Guys Suddenly Lost Interest In A Crush

Reddit user Romeothanh asked: 'Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it?'

coffee date
Jonathan J. Castellon/Unsplash

Infatuation is a curious thing.

One moment, you can be swept up in major adoration for someone to such a degree that you can't stop thinking about them.

But the next moment, you may suddenly find yourself moving on.

What is it that drives someone to lose their lust for their former object of affection?

Curious to hear from strangers who experienced going from hot to cold in casual dating, Redditor Romeothanh asked:

"Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it??"

Questionable behaviors were seen as major turn-offs.

Poor Parenting

"The way she treated her children, her boy was permitted everything and her daughter had to follow very strict rules."

"I didn't have to ask to know what was going on, the boy's real father wasn't her ex-husband but a guy she had an affair with at work, her daughter was really from her ex-husband. She was always resentful of her upbringing and then her marriage for impeding some kind of dreamed life she thought she was entitled to. So the boy was seen as a piece of that dream and the girl was a piece of her boring life but she was also reliving her childhood through her and pushing her to excel in sports, school and manners and reveling in her daughter's accomplishments as if they were hers."

– Telesto1087

Past Grievances

"She accused me of cheating on her in a past life."

"I told her 'I don’t remember that.'”

– Breloren

"Sounds like something someone who cheated in a past life would say!"

– thefirecrest

At Least She Washes Her Hands...

"She spat in her hands and rubbed them together because she 'needed to wash them.' I cannot describe the colossal speed at which that switch turned off."

– whitesebastian

"Was she some sort of 1930’s farm hand or construction worker?"

– valueduser

There were some serious red flags.

Schadenfreude

"A elderly gentlemen fell in front of us, he took a nasty fall."

"She found it hilarious, instead of helping she just stood there laughing. I helped that person out and I felt so embarrassed for her behavior."

"Also that was the last time I saw her. It was a major turn off for me."

– oxide-NL

Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy

"I invited the girl from my psych course I'd been vibing with to a party. Her car rolled up and I came out to greet her, but it was a dude's car, and she was drunkenly making out with him as I walked up. I didn't flip out or anything, but she slurred her way through some weird attempt at reassuring me that I shouldn't worry, 'cause she was only sleeping with him to punish him because he was a bad guy (apparently that's a thing she does), and that I was a good guy. I didn't ask what happened to good guys. I felt bad for her date, whom she completely ignored the rest of the night. As for the girl, she ended up totally engrossed with the party host's gerbil, tapping on the glass of its cage whispering how she wanted to kill it. I found somewhere new to sit in psych class for the rest of the semester."

– MissionofQorma

I'm Generous And You're Gonna Like It

"She kept buying me stuff. It was nice at first but she kept doing it weekly and demanded I give gifts in return. I asked her to stop and she said "nope this is what I do." Felt like she didn't even care about what I wanted."

– Dry-Enthusiasm3515

Easiest Breakup Ever

"It was a really horrible relationship even this aside but my 'wow i think i actually hate this person' moment was when we were at Badlands National Park. We were just walking out of the gift shop with some other woman when she just let go of the door and it like slammed into that womans face. I said to her 'omg im so sorry' then when we got to the car i said to my gf in like a joking tone 'i cant beliehe you didnt hold the door for her haha' and because she was a very very miserable person all the time this makes her mad and she goes 'well YOURE the man youre supposed to hold the door. I dont NEED to hold the door for anybody' and yeah that one statement alone was very... eye opening for me."

"Seriously the easiest least heartbreaking break up ive ever gone through."

– ILoveTikkaMasala

The Cat Recognized Evil

"My cat didn't like her."

"Brought her home to introduce her to my parents, she meets my childhood cat and. It. Goes. Psychotic. Just for her reaching down to pat him, he panicked, attached himself to her arm, and wouldn't let go, just clawing at her like he found a demon to fight or something. When he eventually detached himself (they were both running around the room screaming as she tried to wave him off her arm) I checked her over and he did some damage. He's never reacted like that to anyone before or since. We broke it off shortly later."

"I found out a few years ago she was in the court system. Why? She tried to kill her own kid. I didn't dodge a bullet because of my cat, I dodged an artillery shell."

– GryphonicOwl

It's not me, it's you.

So Rude

"She didn’t hold the door open to people just meeting her at the door, would let it slam on people behind her, didn’t do the little thank you wave to other cars that let her out, didn’t say please and thank you to serving staff. She wasn’t overtly rude, she just had a bit of a me,me,me vibe."

– Hellenicparadise

Norwegian Love

"She told me she was pregnant and it was mine, 2 days after sleeping with me for the first (and only) time. Then proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend."

"I should have twigged earlier really. She flew from Norway to sleep with me and flew back the next day."

– Perseus73

Face Reveal

"I’d been talking to this girl in class I thought was really cool. We ended up going for a bite after class one day and she suggested we go hang out in my dorm room. Hell yeah."

"Then she took off her glasses and she looked exactly like my mom. It was so jarring I excused myself to the bathroom to regroup, but when I came back I couldn’t unsee my mom’s face on her."

"I made some lame excuse and went back alone. I felt bad about bailing on her but I also how the hell would I tell her the real reason? Either she thinks I’m a weirdo or thinks I’m saying she looks like she’s in her fifties."

– OneSmoothCactus

Don't Speak

"My mate ghosted a girl simply because he didn't like her cadence when she spoke."

– Random-chick-98

My shallowest moment was years ago when I ghosted a hot tennis player I was dating because he had a particularly annoying gait.

Anytime we would walk around the city (in New York), he would gradually lean into me and prevent us from walking a straight path.

I thought he was deliberately trying to get close but it turned out that one of his legs was shorter than the other resulting in him taking uneven steps.

When he explained his situation, it weirded me out.

I didn't have the heart to tell him why I could no longer see him, so I just stopped responding to his incessant messages about when we were meeting next.

I remain regretful to this day about my immature behavior, and I wish him the best wherever he is.

golden balance weighing scale

Piret Ilver on Unsplash

A double standard is defined as:

"a code or policy that favors one group or person over another"

However not all double standards are formalized. Most of the double standards individuals face daily are based on customs, stereotypes, traditions or other less formal societal codes of conduct.

Double standards are inherently unfair to one or sometimes both parties.

They may exert control or compliance with gender or socioeconomic stereotypes on everyone or serve to repress one group while favoring the other. But they shouldn't be confused with all unequal rules.

The sign at the amusement park that says "you must be this tall to ride" is there for a very good reason.

Double standards fail to pass any logic test, with some being more ridiculous than others.

Keep reading...Show less
classroom scene of middle school students with frustrated male teacher

Taylor Flowe on Unsplash

When picking a career, it's a good idea to talk to people who have been in the professions you're considering for quite some time.

My parents wanted me to become a doctor, but I was ambivalent to the idea.

My discussions with veteran doctors convinced me there was no way I wanted to go into medicine.

So what are some other not so great jobs?

Keep reading...Show less
photo of woman holding white and black paper bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When I started college, I had every intention of cooking all my meals. It became very apparent very quickly that I simply didn't have the time to accomplish this, and I became the Takeout Queen.

I ordered food constantly. Between getting a monthly "allowance" from my dad (intended to go towards groceries), finding coupons taped to my apartment door everyday, and essentially being "allowed" to tip less than handsomely since I was a college student, I was able to afford this.

When I graduated and moved into my own place, things changed. I was too old to not tip properly, I didn't get any supplementary money from my family, and I had more expenses, such as rent. Still, I continued to order food, and it became my main expense.

My friends tell me the way I order food is only meant for "rich people." I have to skimp on everything else in order to have enough saved to support this. It's definitely true, but I don't think this habit will ever change.

I'm not the only one that does "rich people stuff." Redditors do lots of things that is classified that way, despite not being rich, and they are ready to share their stories.

It all started when Redditor Abbas_Noorani 16 asked:

"What is some rich sh*t you do even though you are not rich?"

Ravenous

"Food. I buy what I want and I try new stuff. I like cooking."

– 34i79s

"Grocery shopping without concern for budget is what made me realize I had made it back in the day. Good times."

"Now I have hard budgets again and it truly sucks. You question every damn decision and convince yourself to do without or downgrade to the lowest priced quality."

– txmail

"On the same boat. The other day I looked at expensive butter that I used to stock up on without even thinking twice and sighed."

– cat101786

Monthly

"Forget to cancel my free trial."

– Adept_Insurance5550

"Damn. Thanks for the reminder."

– -Bk7

"I'm still a member of AOL."

– __SpeedRacer__

Too Hot

"I leave the fridge door open when getting the butter out even though my dad said it would cost billions and send us to the streets."

– frank-sarno

"I leave the front door open when I pop out to grab my mail. Took me years of living on my own to realize the AC bill doesn’t shoot up by hundreds of dollars if I do that."

– MelodramaticQuarter

Necessities

"Buy the good toilet paper."

– FrankGehryNuman

"Absolutely!"

"Good toilet paper. Can't stand cheapo toilet paper, you give yourself a surprise when your finger goes through the paper when wiping your chuff. Don't get me started on that stuff they used to have in hospitals! It was awful - sandpaper that didn't soak up but rather moved stuff 🤐"

– helensmelon

Clean And Sweep

"I have a maid that comes weekly. I've found that my sanity is worth the cost."

– Eringobraugh2021

"Weekly? Oo la la!"

– a**ypantz72

Comfort Matters

"My thermostat stays at the temperature setting of what is most comfortable to me and nothing will change that."

– Cyb3rTruk

"Lol this really outlined how different climates can be. My thought was "Yeah, I'm going to be as cozy and warm as I want and not freeze in the comfort of my own home.""

– McCoyIsFun

Double

"Some days I have two sandwiches at lunch. I smile as I watch all my fellow proletariat eating their single sandwich."

– ShambolicPaul

"Brotip: Cut your sandwich an infinite number of times and rearrange the pieces into two full sandwiches. Don't give your money away to Big Sandwich!"

– NotInherentAfterAll

Sparkling

"Paying for car cleaning."

– angydevil

"Justified, tho my dad would kill me."

– Abbas_Noorani

The Big Cheese

"I sometimes buy name brand cheese instead of the store brand."

– NeuroguyNC

"Tillamook or nothing for me! I’ll buy store brand beans and paper towels and other stuff. But not for my cheese!"

– VariegatedThumb

Replenish

"We have a garage fridge that is full of all different kinds of beverages."

– SixStinkyFingers

"It's not the fridge itself, it's keeping it stocked!"

– 4x32Studio

A House Is A Home

"I own a house...."

– 1d0m1n4t3

"Oh damn rich people sh*t."

– Abbas_Noorani

"We shouldn't be able to joke about owning a modest home being rich people sh*t. Anyone who works full time should be able to afford a home."

– 1d0m1n4t3

Write Better

"I buy the gel comfort pens. Makes me feel I'm a higher class when writing at work. Smooth crisp consistent ink."

– UltraCoolPimpDaddy

"I have gotten into arguments over people stealing my G2 .07."

– savvyspoon2

Me Too!

"I buy small trash bags for the bathroom trash bins. My whole family uses grocery bags, but I don’t like how they always rip at the bottom."

– Deleted User

It's Required!

"No Margarine in my house, Butter Only, and lots of it. My arteries think I'm rich."

– weisblattsnut

Unused

"I have HBO but I don’t watch it."

– MillionToOneShotDoc

"I have Netflix, Prime, Hulu, and Disney Plus. Don’t watch any of it. Watch YouTube all the time and I’m too stupid to get Premium."

– AngryDerf

Now, that's the definition of having money to burn!

Of course, I wouldn't know. I need to save money for my food!