This magnetic pull between people, attraction makes a person alluring and pleasing to the sense of another. But what, in fact, makes someone attractive? Is it the physical such as a strong jaw or how close or wide set their eyes are? A smile? A sense of humor? Or something deeper?

The most attractive qualities in a person for long term commitment, at least for this writer, center around emotional intelligence, being kind and steady, compassion, creativity, and a love for life. A great smile and shining hair are wonderful however, in ten, maybe twenty years time a white smile fades, hair can thin. What is left is not so much the outside but the heart and if that’s ugly, well there’s really no amount of makeup, clothing, or plastic surgery able to fix that is there?

Redditor unfilteredsheep wanted women to weigh in on what they found most attractive in the opposite sex.

They asked:

“Ladies, what is one thing you find most attractive in a man?”

Men often underestimate how much women love fancy cheese…​

​“My husband makes me laugh, and he doesn’t sweat the small stuff. He makes me feel safe. Forehead kisses are the best thing, him doing them repeatedly because he knows I love them, it’s the best. Also he lets me buy stupidly priced aged and smoked cheeses.”


Olfactory overdrive…

I hate myself sometimes for this but their smell haha. I love when they smell warm and manly. Other than that, passion. It could be passion for their work, for their family, for something they have as a hobby.”


“My husband wore this cologne when we were dating that would literally make me forget what I was thinking when I smelled it (in a good way). Sadly, it’s discontinued now.”




“This. And not compassion that's a show "to be nice" or to get something in return. Real compassion. Compassion that can push past anger and hurt and defensiveness. A true ability to hold space for others' difficult emotions.”


A little humility never hurt anyone.

“Humility. Not being a know-it-all everywhere you go is so refreshing. Actually listening is lovely.”


Alllllll of this…

​“Communication and honesty. My boyfriend and I rarely fight because we’re both entirely upfront about our thoughts, opinions, and feelings. If we disagree on something, we discuss it like adults. No yelling, no personal attacks, just talking. We have unwavering trust/faith in one another as a result. I value this quality in our relationship so, so much.”


“This is a huge point just for relationships in general. I've been with my partner for nearly 2 years and we've had a couple of small arguments and 0 big arguments, for these exact kinda reasons. It's crazy how healthy it feels compared to the stories I hear.”


“balance of confidence and humor…”

​“Confidence without arrogance. A good balance of confidence and humor often works.”

“Edit: I want to clarify that confident shows up in different ways but the type of confidence I find attractive is someone who is confident in themselves. They dont have to be the most attractive, knowledgeable, or richest person in the room but they know that they have strengths and they are valuable. Their strengths might be a particular interest, their kindness, or whatever. The lack of confidence is someone who overlooks their best qualities and put too much pressure on themselves for what they are lacking.”


An artist’s perspective…

​“I like big noses, or big teeth. Really anything that accentuates the face and makes them look different. It might be the artist in me but I love those features. Also humour - love a guy that can dance with me and be silly.”


Oddly not the first time we’ve heard this.

​“You know Bob Newby from Stranger Things? Yeah, that. He is the full package. Kind. Caring. Loving. Competent. Funny. Cute.”


Heartfelt actions” sums it up…

“I don’t know if there’s an all encompassing answer to this, but I prefer men who are caring and understanding. Men who go out of their way to show they care, with heartfelt actions. Honesty is also a big one, trust is imperative. A sense of humor is also a turn on.”

cardtrailred ​

Everyone has their thing…

​“Humor is a goodie but for physical attributes, I'm a mouth girl. A man can be otherwise flawless but if he's got a weird mouth or shapeless lips I'm out.”


Although relationships and attraction are not all one size fits all, these are some of the common characteristics folks consistently look for in a partner. Much of it boils down to being kind to one another and keeping a sense of humor in life.

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