Marriage is often one of the most difficult forms of relationships for young couples.
The fun of dating becomes mixed with the hefty responsibilities that come with truly building a life with another person and integrating your lives together.
It is not easy, often it will fail, there are times that will be painful however, if two people truly want to grow together they will find ways to overcome challenges in ways that strengthen their bond.
Redditor DurableRestriction17 wanted to hear the serious marriage advice people had to offer.
"Married couples, what advice would you give to young couples?"
Basing your relationship off of mutual respect, similar values, and practicing spiritually together (whatever that may look like or if applicable) are all ways to make sure you have deeper connections.
The best advice overall though is do not lose yourself in joining your partner.
They love you and giving up things you enjoy to please them often fosters a seed of resentment over time.
Schedule time for yourself to enjoy hobbies, and time for them too.
"If you don't spend time together you are GOING to drift apart.”
“We have been married for 13 years, together for 15. Spend quality time together. Shut off your phones and go for a walk, cook a meal together, find a hobby you both enjoy, heck, you can have a lot of fun just doing household chores together."
“If you don't spend time together you are GOING to drift apart. I was severely burned in a brush fire 5 years ago, and was diagnosed with brain cancer a year later. My burn broke me, I fell into a terrible pit of depression."
“I spent most of the next year lying on the couch pissed off at the world. All of my relationships deteriorated in that time just because I separate myself from everything. But our marriage suffered the most. Unfortunately, my diagnosis made things even worse. My prognosis was quite grim, people in my position live for an average of 37 weeks."
"I have seen other people go through similar things. One of two things usually happens. It will draw them closer together, or one or both people will use destructive coping mechanisms to help cope with the fear and pain. Once we realized what was happening we started coming closer together again."
"When we were newly married, we spend a lot of time fishing. Just the two of us on a riverbank sitting on buckets trying to catch fish. The beauty of time like that is there is nothing to distract you from each other. It gives you a lot of time to just talk and get to know each other better."
"I've had 2 cancer recurrences that looked like it was the beginning of my end. I just started a new treatment that is working very well. We've been able to get back fishing a lot this summer, sometimes just the two of us, and sometimes we take the kids along too." thelemonx
Well noted! Sounds like a healthy relationship.
You are on the same team!
“Fight the issue, not each other.” BlackSwann0316
“Yes! My husband and I have a rule to always treat each other like we're on the same team. Having an explicit rule comes in handy for giving us the language to use when it doesn't feel like one of us is doing that. A gentle "it doesn't feel like we're on the same team right now" does wonders for reorienting the other away from anger and toward the problem at hand.” wantonyak
I concur! Your partner is not–and should not–be your enemy.
“Always remember to work on yourself, as your insecurities can easily form into blame towards your partner. ‘They're not doing enough’, ‘they're not making me feel special enough’ when you're insecure and not doing anything to fix it, it won't matter what your partner does.”
“So Always work on yourself, invite your partner to join you in your goals and the positivity from your efforts will strengthen your relationship with your partner and how you see yourself.” Ello_Owu
Insecurity can kill a relationship. Working on yourself is important!
Dont sweat the small stuff.
“Don't stress over the little sh*t. You'll get annoyed at things you didn't think possible, like how they organize themselves, how they load the dishwasher, difference in opinions for trivial things. Let that sh*t go.”
“Think about what truly matters to you before you start an argument over your misplaced toothbrush, the color of paint to use in the living room or what's going on in the garage at 10pm with all the swearing. This will differ a bit, but this is coming from a man that's been married for 14 years with two kids.” Beholder84
Exactly! Besides, stress kills. Don't do that to yourself.
“don't keep score...”
“Do things your spouse enjoys, and don't keep score. For example, my wife loves going to soccer games but I don't, and I love horror movies but my wife doesn't. But I still go to games with her, and she still watches horror movies with me. Support each others hobbies and interests.“ LagerLounge
Relationships are all about balance! Support each other – that builds good relationships.
Kindness is best practice...
“Kindness. Don't be short, rude, and proud. You have to live with this person the rest of your life. Always be kind. Forgive. You aren't immune to making any of the same mistakes. You're not as perfect as you think you are. Don't dwell on the negative in one another. This is a bad mental path to get on.”
“You are both imperfect. Compliment one another on your strengths. And help one another with weaknesses. Be committed. Life will change. You both will change. There is security in commitment. There is trust when you feel secure. Just a few things. 12 years, three kids, still learning.” Manbeard1000
If you're going to ride the waves of life together, you'll have to learn how to be compassionate and forgive.
Remember later on you may forgive but your friends or family may not...
“Don't talk sh*t about each other to your friends or family members. You're a team. If you have a complaint and need to tell someone, be honest with your partner about it rather than telling a third party.” ruthlessbaderginz
Absolutely! You are a team so you should act like it.
“Make sure you have the same life vision as your partner. You need to be in alignment on the big things.” SeaTie
Compatibility definitely matters!
“If you want to survive more than a decade in a marriage, be prepared to listen to your spouse. Not just to let them speak, but listen (engage). You want to be heard, so hear the other.”
“If/when negative emotions get too intense, don't jump to blame the spouse... It's hard. Try to find ways to interrupt the feeding-of-negativity-from-each-other cycle. Take a 5 minute break (claim you need a biobreak if nothing else).. The physical and temporal distancing will help folk calm down.”
“Also, as soon as you calm down, hug the other person and provide some sort of positive physical contact. Goes without saying, keep reinforcing positives and make positive statements frequently. Everybody wants to be loved - and you have to be there for each other.”
“Oh, one last thing: don't ever take someone else's side against your spouse in public. If they are in the wrong (can happen often), you must find ways to correct that behavior discreetly... if that really doesn't work (because people are obstinate), try to create a distraction (find an excuse) then talk to your spouse in private.” milagr05o5
Some great advice from people with marriage experience. Best of luck to the young couples, it's wild out there.
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With things inching closer and closer back to normal after three years of the global pandemic, people are more eager than ever to go on a vacation.
And the possibilities of where to travel are endless.
Be it a soothing beach vacation in Turks and Caicos, enjoying the romantic hustle and bustle of Paris, or letting one's imagination run wild at an amusement park.
But are there some places one should make a point of avoiding as a vacation destination?
Be it for political unrest, unsafe conditions, or simply because there isn't much to do.
Redditor Blowmansalad was curious to know the answer, resulting in their taking to Reddit to ask:
"Where should you NOT go on vacation?"
"At least not until some form of functioning government actually takes place."
"After the magnicide it's been nothing but a turf war between gangs better armed to than most small countries and everybody that could, aka, the rich, left the country due to the constant threat of getting kidnapped and all the violence that has been taking place."- logiqaltech
Russia, at least for now.
"Americans might wanna put that Russia vacation on hold for a lil bit."- flip_phone_phil
Salem, Massachusetts, in the fall...
"Salem around Halloween."
"I'm a local."
"It's a damn tourist trap."
"Nowhere to park and if you haven't booked all your reservations by February you're SOL."
"The summer is a 10x better time to visit Salem."
"For those asking, I am referring to Salem Massachusetts."- jlm2299Happy Trick Or Treat GIF by DOMCAKEGiphy
The pyramids might be best seen in pictures...
"As an Egyptian I am definitely not looking forward to reading these replies."- d7oom175
"The common folk are warm and welcoming and would give you the food off their table and clothes off their backs."
"But the cops, the scammers, the vendors, phew."
"It is one big tourist trap."- TwistedChopstick
"If you’re a woman, I’ve been told that Egypt is best avoided unless you have male friends or family that can safely escort you about in public."
"Otherwise, any country in an active war."- chibinoi
Unless you never want to leave your hotel.
"I took my wife to Jamaica for our honeymoon."
"We wound up in a resort in Montego bay."
"The resort was nice but began to feel like a prison."
"If you went out people would grab her by the wrist and drag her to some shack they were selling trinkets in."
"The locals that worked in the resort were fantastic."
"Best prison guards you can imagine."- jabsaw2112
"They actively tell people to stay on resort property because they can't protect tourists otherwise."- MrPuzzleMan
Maybe one day.
"No question about it."- DatRobloxKid
If you can't take the heat...
"Phoenix in July."
"It’s a monument to man’s arrogance."- TacoDocRaising Arizona Movie GIFGiphy
Of course, when choosing a vacation spot, one wants somewhere where they can relax, take in the sights, and escape from their current realities for a week or so.
So, traveling to somewhere where you're constantly on alert, your mind is constantly racing, and/or there's nothing to see... might not be the best choice.
Thankfully, be it near or small, there is always somewhere to fall back on.
TV leaves a special impact on the viewer, sometimes more than movies.
It's because we live with these characters.
We take several journeys with them, not just a quick two hour ride.
That's why the finales are so special.
They can complete us or leave us broken for life.
Let's discuss the good.
Redditor KvK_07 wanted to discuss some of the best endings to television shows we love.They asked:
"Which show had a proper satisfying ending?"
My favorite endings for my shows? The list is long. But The Golden Girls & Buffy are up there.
GoodbyeCbs Cheers GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"Sorry, we’re closed."
"Ok. So the end itself was good but in the final episode they never once said NORM and it just hurts me a little when I think about it."
"Avatar, The Last Airbender."
"Love how they continued the story in The Search and The Promise comics though. I know there are more Avatar comics but I haven’t gotten around to reading those yet. Plus it was recently announced that Avatar Studios’ first project would be an animated movie about Aang and the others as young adults. We’ll probably be seeing him and Zuko build Republic City."
"The Good Place."
"I came to say the exact same thing - I absolutely adored this show and and while I’m sad it’s over I’m also so glad they ended it when they did instead of letting it go on for too long and ruining the show."
"I was told over and over to 'just watch the show for the ending.' From lots of people. So I hesitantly did so, and was like 'Yeah this is okay, but not mind blowing or anything. It's cool.'
"But holy s**t. That ending is the best ending to a TV show that's ever been made, I think.Everyone was 100% right. It was worth it. It's hard to explain without watching the show. But they did it flawlessly.I think about that show's ending all the time."
A Few Issues
"Star Trek: The Next Generation."
"I liked where they left it with Picard's development - but me and my partner recoiled in horror seeing Q appear. By far our worst part of the series, such an OTT obnoxious character, with lazy storytelling. Loved the series as a whole, but to have Q end it seemed like a punch in the gut. He seemed like growing pains of the first season but just had to come back lol."
Life is OverSix Feet Under Drinking GIF by HBOGiphy
"Six Feet Under is yet to be topped."
"It really was such a great and satisfying ending."
I can't even think about Six Feet Under without tears.
FreshSeason 2 Dancing GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The way the cast said good bye to each other in the empty mansion to how Will turns out the lights at the end of the episode. Just an amazing series."
This War is Over
"M A S H."
"Absolutely. As a young child in the beginning of the 1980s I distinctly recall hearing the theme melody late at night when the TV was airing reruns and sometimes catching a glimpse of the intro.That melancholic tune just touched me in ways I didn’t understand as a 4 yr old."
"When I got a bit older I was flipping through the channels and suddenly there it was: the theme melody that I had moved me when I was so little. I had stumbled upon one of the many reruns that would air for 20-40 yrs.I was a European kid growing up in the 80s and 90s."
"I didn’t know anything about the Korean War. But the show really showed the horrors, depravity and injustice of war no matter who is doing the fighting. And it did so in a way that mixed humor with tragedy without making light of the tragedy.It was brilliant.I must have seen all episodes by now. I have a terrible memory for books, movies and shows but the last episode will stay with me forever."
"The Sopranos. I know what I said."
"I know what they were trying to do there and I agree that it is brilliant once you actually analyze what happened and what led up to it, but that takes hindsight and rewinding the episode and rewatching it once, maybe twice. But on the first, cold viewing, I think it was a teeny bit TOO clever and kind of toyed with the audience."
"Scrubs. Before anyone says it, the '9th season”'(Scrubs: Med School) is 100% a spin-off. I don’t care that they tried to staple it to the original series, that was a stupid move to ride the ratings. It was entirely meant to be and written as a spin-off and you cannot convince me otherwise."
"I still get a lump in my throat when I see JD take that final walk down that hallway, seeing the faces of patients and other loved ones that passed on during his tenure, all of them wishing him well on the next step of his journey. When I retire I always imagine I'll do the same... seeing customers and co-workers I lost over the decades as I take that final walk to the front doors."
Phoebecheers champagne GIF by FleabagGiphy
"Same same. I wished it could have gone on only because I enjoyed it so much, but the final season was beautiful and perfect and I cried so much during the final episode."
All great choices. I love you Fleabag.
Movies. Stories. Tears.
All three are a perfect fit.
Film and entertainment allow us freedom to feel everything.
As Nicole Kidman says in her infamous AMC commercial, "heartbreak feels good in a place like this."
Maybe that's why we're meant to watch in the dark.
Redditor rollneers02 wanted everyone to fess and chat about what works of cinema have left us in tears.They asked:
"What’s a movie that’s genuinely made you cry?"
I love to cry at movies. It makes me feel human.
Gone By...Happy Shawshank Redemption GIFGiphy
"The scene in Shawshank Redemption where the elderly man laments how quickly time passed."
"This movie for me too, my dad is also a tall tale teller and he passed away last year. At his funeral all of his different friends showed and retold some of his crazy stories but just slightly different. Made me realize that some of his stories were true and I was living in a real life big fish movie."
"Fox and the hound when the hound can’t be the foxes friend anymore."
"I can not watch that movie at ALL!!! Right after my mom died I went to her house. That movie was in the VCR. When I hit play the movie as at that song about letting go if you love something. I just LOST IT right there. To this day I will not watch that movie and prob never will."
Oh the Tears...
"Bridge to Terabithia. The guilt of that kid for the rest of his life."
"First time I ever saw my Dad cry. He thought I'd be a great Father-Daughter movie night. I just rewatched it recently and it still makes me cry."
"This book and Stand By Me both made a sizeable impression on me during my youth. I hope to share these experiences with children of my own one day."
The EndDisney Pixar GIF by Disney+Giphy
"Coco, g*ddamn Coco. I was not expecting bawling my eyes out in the last 15 minutes."
I can't with some of these movies. My heart can't take it.
I Hate Beessad macaulay culkin GIFGiphy
"'Where's his glasses? He can't see with his glasses! It's not fair he needs his glasses to see!!'"
"Field of Dreams, when he's playing catch with his dad. Also, the end of The Truman Show hit pretty hard."
"I can't believe I had to scroll this far down to see this one. My dad died about 20 years ago, and I would give almost anything to have a catch with him again. When Ray says in that choked up voice 'hey dad, wanna have a catch?' I just lose it."
"It’s dumb, but the first movie I ever cried for was ‘Click’ with Adam Sandler. That scene where his father dies and he wasn’t there because the use of autopilot, so decided to revisit the last time he had seen him. His dad tells him he loves him and the autopilot version of him doesn’t give a crap, but the real him starts to cry and play the words 'I love you son’' on repeat. THIS. Has me every time."
"The Green Mile."
"I cried so hard watching that movie that I can't bring myself to rewatch it. Once was enough."
"Brilliant and awesome story that was understandable for a 7 year old me to start ugly sobbing for an hour in my aunt's house lol. I think it was the first time I encountered feelings against injustice and the staggering helplessness that you can't do anything to stop what's happening."
"God, it still feels like yesterday and I'm nearing 30. But the ice cream and toys I got was good too. My auntie had to bring me to the mall because I was inconsolable and continued crying on the way there. I only stopped when I had to pick an ice cream flavor lol."
It's Uglylife is beautiful film GIFGiphy
"Life Is Beautiful."
"Came here to say this title. I’ve seen it once, when I was in high school around the time it came out, and I still tear up thinking about certain scenes."
"Hachiko (old and modernised version). Both versions are just as sad. It’s based on a true story. For those who don’t know, it’s about a bond of a dog and an owner. The owner walked to the train station to go to work and always brought his dog with him and the dog would always wait for him at the train station until the owner returned. The owner then died while at work and the dog continued to wait for him at the train station every single day for 9 years until his last breath."
I love movies. They make my tears feel free.
What a quirky group of humans you are.
Maybe we, the world, give y'all a bad rap.
We're dying to know what you share with one another.
One Redditorwanted all the 'Bros' out there to share with us.They asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s your best bro-tip?"
I've been dying for insight into the animal that is a bro. They're human too...
You're Awesome!Bruno Mars GIFGiphy
"It's okay to compliment another bro."
"Do not leave your home smelling musty."
"Also, tell your friends if their home, car, them etc... smells musty. there's a time and a place of course, but often we don't notice and the note to freshen up is very welcome."
"Check on your bros. They won’t necessarily tell you when they need help."
"Lost a friend via overdose. He was exhibiting unhealthy behavior for years. I saw it, and said nothing. I later relocated and made very little effort to keep in touch. Destroys me to think what might have been different, had I reached out."
"Seriously though, having been the bro who's dealing with depression knowing you have bros to lean on really helps."
"Was in a residency program with a guy who had the worst breath any of us (all other bros) had ever smelt. When I say bad, I mean it smelt worse than if he had eaten human poop. The guy was completely oblivious to it. He’d have girls break up with him and come to us and be like 'I don’t know what happened it was going so well,' stuff like that."
"And we’d all beat around the bush and never tell him that we knew exactly why those bro-ettes dumped him. I’m ashamed to admit, my Reddit bros, that he made it through an entire 3-year residency program without any bros stepping in and hitting him with the cold hard truth. RIP to that bro."
lift me up...Animated GIFGiphy
"Support your bros; don’t tear them down when they are trying to achieve something."
Men really should embrace feelings more.
Find MoreThe One Where Estelle Dies Episode 15 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"Don't fall in love with potential."
"This comment hurt me. Learned that lesson the hard way."
"Always buy more than one stick of deodorant at a time so you’ll have a spare around when you run out. Finding out that you’re at the end right before you have to be somewhere, preferably smelling acceptable, is the worst."
"As soon as I open the last container of any toiletry, it goes on the shopping list to be purchased within a week. I haven't run out once since I started doing that, and I usually buy multipacks so I don't need to shop for those things often."
"As a guy in his mid-50s, my number 1 advice is: When you're disagreeing with someone, no matter the relationship, always validate their point first, empathize with them second, and then, and only then, make your counter-argument. Never respond to an argument with a pushback before you've validated/empathized with them."
"If you're Machiavellian about life, you'll be more likely to get what you want from someone else if they feel respected by you. If you're not Machiavellian, it's just a nice thing to do."
"Have AT LEAST one friend you can have real conversations with about your feelings. Particularly if you're in your late teens or twenties you probably don't talk about that stuff with your mates but it makes the world of difference knowing you have someone to talk to about it, even if you don't have anything to tell them just yet."
MaverickTop Gun Maverick Movie GIF by Top GunGiphy
"Never leave your wing man!"
Thanks Bros. This was all helpful.
Do you have other tips to share? Let us know in the comments below.