Marriage is often one of the most difficult forms of relationships for young couples.
The fun of dating becomes mixed with the hefty responsibilities that come with truly building a life with another person and integrating your lives together.
It is not easy, often it will fail, there are times that will be painful however, if two people truly want to grow together they will find ways to overcome challenges in ways that strengthen their bond.
Redditor DurableRestriction17 wanted to hear the serious marriage advice people had to offer.
"Married couples, what advice would you give to young couples?"
Basing your relationship off of mutual respect, similar values, and practicing spiritually together (whatever that may look like or if applicable) are all ways to make sure you have deeper connections.
The best advice overall though is do not lose yourself in joining your partner.
They love you and giving up things you enjoy to please them often fosters a seed of resentment over time.
Schedule time for yourself to enjoy hobbies, and time for them too.
"If you don't spend time together you are GOING to drift apart.”
“We have been married for 13 years, together for 15. Spend quality time together. Shut off your phones and go for a walk, cook a meal together, find a hobby you both enjoy, heck, you can have a lot of fun just doing household chores together."
“If you don't spend time together you are GOING to drift apart. I was severely burned in a brush fire 5 years ago, and was diagnosed with brain cancer a year later. My burn broke me, I fell into a terrible pit of depression."
“I spent most of the next year lying on the couch pissed off at the world. All of my relationships deteriorated in that time just because I separate myself from everything. But our marriage suffered the most. Unfortunately, my diagnosis made things even worse. My prognosis was quite grim, people in my position live for an average of 37 weeks."
"I have seen other people go through similar things. One of two things usually happens. It will draw them closer together, or one or both people will use destructive coping mechanisms to help cope with the fear and pain. Once we realized what was happening we started coming closer together again."
"When we were newly married, we spend a lot of time fishing. Just the two of us on a riverbank sitting on buckets trying to catch fish. The beauty of time like that is there is nothing to distract you from each other. It gives you a lot of time to just talk and get to know each other better."
"I've had 2 cancer recurrences that looked like it was the beginning of my end. I just started a new treatment that is working very well. We've been able to get back fishing a lot this summer, sometimes just the two of us, and sometimes we take the kids along too." thelemonx
Well noted! Sounds like a healthy relationship.
You are on the same team!
“Fight the issue, not each other.” BlackSwann0316
“Yes! My husband and I have a rule to always treat each other like we're on the same team. Having an explicit rule comes in handy for giving us the language to use when it doesn't feel like one of us is doing that. A gentle "it doesn't feel like we're on the same team right now" does wonders for reorienting the other away from anger and toward the problem at hand.” wantonyak
I concur! Your partner is not–and should not–be your enemy.
“Always remember to work on yourself, as your insecurities can easily form into blame towards your partner. ‘They're not doing enough’, ‘they're not making me feel special enough’ when you're insecure and not doing anything to fix it, it won't matter what your partner does.”
“So Always work on yourself, invite your partner to join you in your goals and the positivity from your efforts will strengthen your relationship with your partner and how you see yourself.” Ello_Owu
Insecurity can kill a relationship. Working on yourself is important!
Dont sweat the small stuff.
“Don't stress over the little sh*t. You'll get annoyed at things you didn't think possible, like how they organize themselves, how they load the dishwasher, difference in opinions for trivial things. Let that sh*t go.”
“Think about what truly matters to you before you start an argument over your misplaced toothbrush, the color of paint to use in the living room or what's going on in the garage at 10pm with all the swearing. This will differ a bit, but this is coming from a man that's been married for 14 years with two kids.” Beholder84
Exactly! Besides, stress kills. Don't do that to yourself.
“don't keep score...”
“Do things your spouse enjoys, and don't keep score. For example, my wife loves going to soccer games but I don't, and I love horror movies but my wife doesn't. But I still go to games with her, and she still watches horror movies with me. Support each others hobbies and interests.“ LagerLounge
Relationships are all about balance! Support each other – that builds good relationships.
Kindness is best practice...
“Kindness. Don't be short, rude, and proud. You have to live with this person the rest of your life. Always be kind. Forgive. You aren't immune to making any of the same mistakes. You're not as perfect as you think you are. Don't dwell on the negative in one another. This is a bad mental path to get on.”
“You are both imperfect. Compliment one another on your strengths. And help one another with weaknesses. Be committed. Life will change. You both will change. There is security in commitment. There is trust when you feel secure. Just a few things. 12 years, three kids, still learning.” Manbeard1000
If you're going to ride the waves of life together, you'll have to learn how to be compassionate and forgive.
Remember later on you may forgive but your friends or family may not...
“Don't talk sh*t about each other to your friends or family members. You're a team. If you have a complaint and need to tell someone, be honest with your partner about it rather than telling a third party.” ruthlessbaderginz
Absolutely! You are a team so you should act like it.
“Make sure you have the same life vision as your partner. You need to be in alignment on the big things.” SeaTie
Compatibility definitely matters!
“If you want to survive more than a decade in a marriage, be prepared to listen to your spouse. Not just to let them speak, but listen (engage). You want to be heard, so hear the other.”
“If/when negative emotions get too intense, don't jump to blame the spouse... It's hard. Try to find ways to interrupt the feeding-of-negativity-from-each-other cycle. Take a 5 minute break (claim you need a biobreak if nothing else).. The physical and temporal distancing will help folk calm down.”
“Also, as soon as you calm down, hug the other person and provide some sort of positive physical contact. Goes without saying, keep reinforcing positives and make positive statements frequently. Everybody wants to be loved - and you have to be there for each other.”
“Oh, one last thing: don't ever take someone else's side against your spouse in public. If they are in the wrong (can happen often), you must find ways to correct that behavior discreetly... if that really doesn't work (because people are obstinate), try to create a distraction (find an excuse) then talk to your spouse in private.” milagr05o5
Some great advice from people with marriage experience. Best of luck to the young couples, it's wild out there.
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Reasons to be single #1... you avoid monkeypox, apparently.
#2... all your money is yours. And Uncle Sam's.
#3... more room in bed.
#4... the list is endless.
Not to be down on love, love is great.
But love doesn't have to be the full journey.
Redditor Inspire3110 wanted to share all the best reasons to not partner up.
"What’s a benefit of being single?"
I'm single. I think I want to mingle. Convince me otherwise.
Just MeDave Chappelle Freedom GIFGiphy
"You only have to worry about yourself."
"I just started a casual relationship after about a year and a half of being single. Even though that previous one lasted 4.5 years, having to care about someone even a little bit is taking some adjustment. It was nice being free lol."
"It's my day off. I have a bunch of projects to do around the house, but I'm laying on the couch reading Reddit. No one cares."
"So true. I just wanna laze in bed all day on my day off sometimes. Bring in some snacks, watch a movie, read my books, take a nap or two. I don't need someone constantly asking 'are you getting up yet?'"
"Christmas is chill af. None of that 'Ok so we spend the eve at your parent's place, then Christmas day is split between my mom's and my dad's/his new girlfriend's place, and then we visit your brother's family to say hi to the newborn, plus uncle Jeremy invited us to his place since we are there anyway..."
"Not answering to anyone else. I've been single for a long time after my marriage ended. The temptation to just pick up with someone new was strong for the first few years, but once I got used to just being by myself, I came to really enjoy it. I'm free to do what I want, when I want. While I'm open to it, it will take someone very special to change my situation now."
Places & ThingsHeart Coffee GIF by 100% SoftGiphy
"Everything is exactly where I left it."
"Yeeessss. That little bit of milk you left for your morning coffee. It will be there in the morning."
These are all valid choices. I'm in.
Betrayali see you no GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy
"Don't have to worry about having your trust betrayed. Don't have anyone to lie to you. You have complete control over how peaceful things are for you (barring things out of control like traffic or construction work in the neighborhood)."
"You have the opportunity to focus on your own needs and/or make giant strides in your career progression without having to factor in and address the needs of your companion."
ControlJanet Jackson Dancing GIF by VevoGiphy
"Don't have to worry about having your trust betrayed. Don't have anyone to lie to you. You have complete control over how peaceful things are for you (barring things out of control like traffic or construction work in the neighbourhood)."
"I know someone who turned down a top-tier professional sports contract because his girl would break up if he would've accepted it, since she didn't want to move from Europe to America. He killed his hockey-career with that decision, and his girl is almost threatening to leave him if he gets out of shape. Can't believe he's still with her."
"Don't have to answer to anyone about where you're going."
"This. When I became single after almost 10 years, for a good few months every time I would walk out the door I would instinctively feel the urge to say where I was going. Weirdest feeling ever, kind of like the Altoids thing Jim did with Dwight."
"Unless you have a pet. I tell my cat where I'm going every time I leave the house, even if it's just outside to smoke a bowl. If I don't, she screams like a banshee until I open the door... then I get a low solid meow, like she's saying 'Really?'"
Keep you warm...
"Getting a good night's sleep. I got so tired of being awakened by someone groping me or poking me in the lower back. The whining about 'why don't you sleep naked' coupled with the 'you don't need blankets - I'll keep you warm.' I can't spend 8 hours every night f**king. I need sleep."
EAT IT!!Tina Fey Nbc GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"You can take a complete cake home and eat all of it."
Who knew being single could be this fun?! Plenty of people apparently.
Feel-good dramas and hysterical comedies can leave an indelible impression on audiences and make them want to come back for multiple viewings.
The films with inspiring storylines, brilliant cinematography, or Oscar-worthy performances are the most memorable.
But there are films that have the opposite effect on moviegoers, making them wish they never saw them in the first place, despite critical acclaim in their respective genres.
Curious to hear some of the more negative moviegoing experiences, Redditor Outrageous-Abies8391 asked:
"What is the most disturbing movie you've ever come across ?"
The atrocities of war are dramatically represented in some of the most powerful films.
"Johnny Got His Gun, saw it in early ‘70’s, still can’t forget it."
Depiction Of Nuclear Winter
"Threads (1984) is by far the scariest movie I've ever seen. It shows the events of a nuclear war breaking out, and the chilling aftermath. There's no hope and no happy ending, truly terrifying stuff."
A Devastating Letter
"The answer to this and all questions like it is always 'dear zachery…' I cant unsee that rage from the grandfather. Its maybe 30secs and it's stayed with me longer than anything I've ever seen in a movie. Want real proof that a good, loving person WISHES he had murdered someone in calculating, cold blood? Got your movie for you."
Parents' Worst Nightmare
"Netflix documentary Abducted in Plain Sight. Movie synopsis: WTF, really!?"
Real-life horrors make for even greater disturbing cinematic experiences.
Trapped In Delusion
"Requiem for a Dream. It's one of those you can really only watch once."
They're called horror movies for a reason.
"The first Hostel movie really got to me. Not sure if I was just unprepared or what, but that movie disturbed me more than I expected."
It's Banned In Many Countries
A Serbian Film
"Came to say this. There were scenes that I wish I could scrub from my memory."
"I own this one and honestly it's just sort of shock value for the most part. Ironically because the cinematography is relatively professional it makes some of the scenes somewhat goofy for their disturbing content."
"The actual content itself is pretty f'ked but somehow because it's well made I didn't really feel as disturbed as I should have. Films like Cannibal Holocaust, Irreversible, Antichrist, and although I haven't seen them Audition and Martyrs, those films make you feel sickly and carry a heavy weight of knowledge with viewing them."
"A Serbian film is the transformers of the disturbing film genre, there's alot that goes on but it's mostly shock value and well put together production value. I've seen A Serbian film 4 different times."
Slaughtered Vomit Dolls
'If you need a movie to have some form of a linear story, don’t bother with this one. If you are tired of seeing women constantly berated and insulted and shown as weak and scared, don’t bother with this one. And if vomit isn’t your thing, yeah, definitely don’t bother with this one.' - Horrornews.net
"Yeah, might give it a pass."
Mad scientists coming up with the most twisted experiments is the premise in these revolting flicks.
"The human centipede."
"I have not seen that, so can't really answer. The worst part of Human Centipede for me was the bodily claustrophobia and psychological horror, not the visible gore. There are only two films I have ever seen that I wanted to walk out of: that and Lars von Trier's Antichrist."
Obsession With A Walrus
"Agreed ! f'king made me feel so uncomfortable soo weird!"
The movies that disturbed me most were, as mentioned above, Tusk and Human Centipede.
I could have stopped watching them as soon as I got sick to my stomach. But as a completionist, I voluntarily subjected to torturing myself.
If you are faint of heart, I strongly suggest you avoid these films. You've been warned.
There's nothing more unsettling than waking up in the middle of the night.
Particularly if what woke you up was a loud, unsettling creepy sound.
The only thing that could make the experience more nightmarish is opening your eyes and seeing something that makes you jump out of bed.
Most of the time, what ends up scaring the living daylights out of us is nothing more than a pile of laundry we forgot to put away or a cat's shadow, and find ourselves laughing about it weeks or even days later
Others however, haven't been so lucky, waking up to discover they were actually in legitimate danger.
Redditor SpaceHubYT was eager to hear the most terrifying things people woke up to in the middle of the night, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest thing you’ve woken up to in the middle of the night?"
Keeping an extra close eye...hopefully?
"My grandmother just standing there in the dark by my bed, quietly wringing her hands and staring at me."- fryinpaskettimobster
Terrifying no matter when
"My mom saying I needed to get up and go with the cop."- abletable342
An experience no one deserves
"My mom screaming up the stairs 'get out of the house now!!!' and my brother swinging my door open to get us out."
"The house was on fire."- stoneytopaz
One hundred little fingers...
"Centipede crawling on my face."
"I still shiver thinking about when that happened."- Slight_Librarian_399Bug Insect GIF by AquariumMeGiphy
A lesson well learned?
"A cop walking into my Airbnb at 4am in Tennessee."
"Somehow he had the code and just.. walked in."
"I was sleeping on the couch right near the front door."
"He yelled at me and asked my name and what I was doing there."
"I was dazed and said 'ugh, I’m sleeping here man' and he’s like 'we were called about a B n E at this address'." - Reddit
"And I said 'I dunno man' and he was like 'well, sorry to disturb you'."
"And he walked out."
"Found out later that the call came In from a different address and the cop still had the door code from a previous call that was put in at this building before."
"This is where I learned if someone breaks in to where I’m sleeping In the middle of the night, I ain’t gonna do sh*t."
"My reaction time is about 5 minutes."- ReferHvacGuy
Sharing a midnight snack?
"Cat dropping a giant a** spider on my chest, then giant spider disappearing in my panic."- lady_of_the_lacattack spider GIFGiphy
One can only imagine...
"My wife sitting straight up out of bed and screaming while pointing down the hallway."
"She talks in her sleep, usually it’s hilarious."
"That time it was not."- BrotherOfTheOrder
Nature's alarm clock
"8.8 Richter scale earthquake at 3am."- sparkdaniel
There's a first time for literally everything.
"Lived in an old building in NYC."
"Had a neighbor across the hall that would seldom have night terrors."
"1st time it happened, it was about 4am and I was pretty sure she was getting murdered from the piercing screaming and loud thumps from her flailing around and the sound of glass breaking."
"I grabbed a meat cleaver and went into the hallway in my underwear to see that everyone else in the building was also awake and poking their heads out into the hallway wondering what to do."
"Me and 2 other neighbors eventually knocked on her door and when she answered she looked pale like a ghost and was dripping in sweat."
"She didn't remember any of it, apologized and explained to us her condition."
"That was some blood curdling sh*t."
"She was very apologetic about it and bought us all six packs of beer for freaking us out."
"Me and the two neighbors that decided to take action were all 100% sure that she was getting murdered at that moment."
"I lived there for 2 years and I think she only had 2 episodes during that time."- azninvasion2000
Be it over nothing, or something incredibly serious, being woken up at all hours of the morning is never a pleasant experience.
As the place everyone should always feel safest of all, is in the comfort of their own bed.
Bullying seems to be a concept that has always been around. It comes in all forms, and in varying degrees.
Sometimes, the bullying can be mild and temporary. That doesn't make it okay, but it does make the bullying easier to deal with.
Other times, the bullying is harsh, and can even go too far. Sometimes, that can mean relentless teasing. Othertimes, it can mean that a bully took their torment to a new level, even proceeding into physical violence.
Whatever the case, when bullying goes too far, it sticks with you. Sometimes, you get revenge. Other times, you just deal with it until you can find a solution. Whichever method you choose, you will never forget it.
Curious about how far is too far, Redditor tylerboyzzz asked:
"People of Reddit, when did the bully go to far?"
"One of my friends had been getting bullied for crying after her mother's death. One day I got sick of it and shoved his head into a door. I know violence shouldn't be used in some situations but I felt like this needed it. He never bullied my friend again and I only got 1 detention."
"Kids are so dumb, making fun of someone for losing their mom is the stupidest thing ever, good on you."
"This guy bullied me for years, relentlessly. He saw another guy bullying me one day and lost his mind and beat the guy half to death. It was f**ked up. Not even that he beat the guy, whatever there, but in this ultra weird like "staking his claim" kinda way. Like I was his to bully and no one else. It literally made me fear for my life a bit. I got a restraining order."
"He took a thick piece of metal wrapped it with electrical tape and hit my friend in the head. He had to get stitches but wouldn’t say out of fear who did it."
"I ratted him out. A day later he jumped me as two of his friends held my arms. Then he stole my bike."
"My mom went to talk to his dad who was drunk and hit on her so she left frustrated."
"A few days later he tried to jump me again while on my bike when I was at the ice cream truck but my older (in high school) brother saw it."
"He literally jumped down three flights of stairs from the 3rd fl of our apartment complex and literally grabbed the back seat of the bike and picked it up as he tried to pedal away. He was freaking out screaming."
Bullying The Teachers
"My class was terrible. On multiple occasions they had managed to make teachers leave the classroom in tears. For the record; I never participated, I was bullied too in this class."
"One of the worst days; they were really taking it out on this nerdy teacher. Like, this was definitely the worst and the most direct insults they had ever given to a person and he broke surprisingly quick. It turned out that the day before he was diagnosed with testicular cancer..."
Bullied BY The Teacher
"Bullied by a teacher. I grew up in the 1980's and there was something wrong with my digestive system that doctors here didn't understand at the time. Parents and friends were aware that sometimes I needed a toilet without much warning for either vomit or poo. I could easily dose off sometimes and always had a crampy tummy."
"First week of high school, I needed to go, now. I asked the teacher if I could be excused. She said I was old enough to be able to hold it in. I tried to explain that I needed to go. She was all boo-hoo, the baby needs a nappy, the baby needs burping. Some friends tried to explain to the teacher that if I had to go, I had to go. Teacher said no. I couldn't hold anything in any more and made for the door, the teacher shouted something and I passed out, vomited and sh*t myself."
"From what I remember, dad had the teacher fired. School policy was changed so that if a kid needed a loo break, they got it. Ironically there was an increase of tp related thefts and bathroom vandalism."
"I spent a week in hospital being prodded and poked, and we found out what was wrong."
"I went back to school, some kids pointed and laughed at the kid who sh*t herself in maths but they were quickly silenced by my friends and some kids who I didn't even know."
"I had a huge crush on one of the "cool" kids, who was actually a really nice, down to earth guy who was always nice to me. We even played Magic: The Gathering together a few times."
"I overheard my bully tell my crush he was planning to wait until the last day of school and "f- me up real good." Crush grabbed him by the throat and said "Don't you dare touch her!" so of course, the bully had to do something."
"He stole part of my crush's cherished favorite deck and left it in my backpack with a really sweet (fake) note. Then he told my crush he'd seen me steal the cards. His plan worked perfectly, I was looking through the cards when crush walked over. The look of hurt and then anger on his face is still burned into my memory. I gave the cards back, apologized, and tried to defend myself, but he never forgave me and we never spoke again."
You Showed Her!
"She bullied me for how I looked, would underhandedly called me ugly, and was the root of all my insecurities...A year later I won a major beauty pageant and she blocked me on IG"
"still kinda insecure cuz of her though"
"I befriended the problem girl in high school. Thought she just needed a friend. Anyway, she turned on me for whatever reason. Broke into my house while I was away on vacation and stole my cat and every item of clothing I owned. She ended up donating most of my clothes to goodwill, but the stuff she liked she wore to school. I called her out on it. That same day the principal pulled me out of class and said I “need to stop bullying X.” Anyway, she never did get in trouble but I did get my cat back after a few weeks."
Yes, He Did Fall
"6th grade. He sat behind me in study hall. He, an 8th grader, had been picking on me since the beginning of the year. I told my parents and my dad said next time he messes with me just stand up for myself."
"Next day he flips my ear really hard. I turn around and tell him don’t ever touch me again. I turn back around and then I feel something getting put into my ear. It was a pencil. I jumped up, grabbed my thick as hell math book, and hit him directly in the face. It ended up knocking four of his teeth out and broke his nose."
"The teacher was the gym teacher, who was also an assistant coach on my baseball team. He came over and said with great surprise…..what happened did he fall out of his desk? Needless to say he never messed with me again."
"Maybe im being simple here, but: every time. Any form of bullying is always too far."
Yeah, that's probably true.
Bullying is wrong, but you will never be wrong for standing up for yourself.