Looking for love is not easy.
In fact, with each passing day, it seems more and more impossible.
That's when people start to get lazy.
They start to consider just anybody.
Don't drop your guard.
If he seems like a roach.
He's a roach.
And not a hot Jeff Goldblum from "The Fly."
Signs, red flags, gut instincts... they are gifts when it comes to sizing up men.
Don't ignore the signs ladies!
Redditor teckk2003 wanted to discuss the things that women really need to pay attention to when deciding about a guy.
So they asked:
"Ladies on reddit what are red flags you can't ignore in Men?"
I always get weary around someone who can't not talk about themselves. Big flag.
I'm Better
Chelsea Peretti Eye Roll GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"When they have to always, always, always one up you."
FoodFactor
"Ah I see you’ve met my father."
re_Claire
Shut Up
"Guys that constantly speak over people in conversation. They tend to not be very caring or respectful of others."
DaisyDeerling
"That's my husband (soon to be ex... again). My friend was over the other day to talk about her breakup with her ex girlfriend, and he kept interrupting her, talking over her, trying to give her advice etc. She was clearly frustrated so I walked her back to her house to actually talk about it."
Rich-Hold4875
Watching You
"When I worked at KFC, there was a girl whose boyfriend would stay parked outside the door the during her entire shift. That is not something I've seen commonly and it's a HUGE red flag."
lidaliy182
"That happened with a girl I worked with as well. She worked 12 hour shifts and he would sit outside looking in at her for the 12 hours. Then sometimes he'd come in like a sad puppy talking to her. Genuinely pathetic and psycho."
Earthshock1
"That’s psychotic."
savoyard9
Just Say It...
"Never apologizing."
SuvenPan
"Always making excuses rather than just saying ‘I f**ked up. What can I do to rectify this situation? What do you need right now.'"
"I made the mistake of not running the first time my ex wouldn’t apologize for something major. Now I’m in trauma from not only his affair but his inability to just own his sh*t and apologise. I will never let this one slide ever again should I choose to date again."
punkyfish10
Listen
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"Ignorant arrogance - doesn’t seem capable of changing his mind or seeing other perspectives."
Adventurous_Range663
Ignorance is not only a red flag, it's horrifying life trait.
Crazy!
Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"When every single ex they have was 'crazy.' Err."
LloydRainy
"I tried to explain to a friend once that maybe all of his ex’s weren’t crazy and he ended up getting blackout drunk and tried to fight me."
reallysrry
“she’s gone again"
"Unhealthy dependency on my replies. Before I met my current SO, I was chatting to a guy who needed replies within minutes. If I didn’t reply in 30 minutes he’d start saying things like 'she’s gone again.' Or 'and I’ve lost her interest again.' It became like a chore to respond. When I said I didn’t feel comfortable continuing the conversation he started talking about 'How women never gave him a chance, and he is a good man.'"
"It might not seem to him he had ill intent but it came across as controlling and pressuring. I had to block him eventually as he kept on messaging even though I had requested to stop the communication. Later he started sending paid likes on a dating platform to get my attention."
Suihime
TMI
"When they cannot discuss sexual health like an adult. If you're having sex you need to discuss birth control, condoms, and STDs."
nadanope11
"Recently had std talk with 48M, he tells me he’s never been tested for anything. Says he’s just choosy about who he sleeps with so he knows he’s never had anything because he would be able to tell if his partners had an STD. This from a sexually active man that doesn’t use condoms often. I was stunned that anyone could still be this ignorant."
Automatic-Two-2047
He was 26...
"Easily lost patience and out of control temper over minor things. I dated a guy once who had an argument over the phone with a family member, after he got off the phone he picked up a picture frame that was nearby and just smashed it onto the ground, sending glass everywhere."
"The argument was something to do with a book. We had been dating for maybe 2 months. He was 26. MASSIVE red flag that one is was."
juicytubes
Hopeless
Benedict Cumberbatch Drinking GIFGiphy"Weaponized incompetence. Making no attempt at doing something effectively in the hopes that they won't be asked to do it again. If you can't put in the effort, then neither can I."
fcandiax
I hope everyone is listening.
Do you have any major red flags to throw down on the dating field? Let us know in the comments below.
"What happened after you had sex with your best friend?"
Change In Status, Still Best Friends
"We had gotten drunk to celebrate me getting into med school, and 8 years of repressed sexual tension just poured out in a single night."
"The next 3 days, we were both in a panicked daze."
"I thought I had lost my best friend for the best sex of my life, and I couldn't stop thinking it wasn't worth it."
"The sex was mind blowing, but no one made me feel as safe or as happy and I would trade anything to keep that."
"He asked would it really be so crazy if we tried dating?"
"We moved in together a month later."
"We've been together now for 7 years, got engaged."
"Saving up for a house and wedding."
"He's still my best friend."- LexicalCat
'We bought an air fryer and a water cooler for our house so I guess you could say things are pretty serious."- ur_newstepmom
Office Break GIFGiphyAn Unfortunate Demise
"Unfortunately we stopped being best friends after that."- Previous_Smile7275
Testing The Waters
"She became my sorta, kinda girlfriend and we've been taking things slow!"- CapG_13·
Big Mistake...
"I hated doing it with her cuz she said, 'you are like a brother to me!' after doing it."- aldrin2111
"He hates me now."- estrellaprincessa
"What happened is : I wanted more and fell totally in love with her."
"She didn’t and thought it was a mistake."
"We tried staying friends, she became distant, I became weird."
"She decided that we shouldn’t see each other anymore."
"At all."- Grin-Guy
the oc couple in bed GIFGiphyMade It Official
"We went to sleep."
"And are married for 8 years now."- DocSternau
"We got married."
"3 kids, a grandson and 37 years later I still don't regret it."- Cheezel62
"Married her."
"Knew she was in it for the long con."- aggierogue3
Love Is Love Wedding GIF by PBS KIDSGiphyStill The Same Old Friends...
"We did a FWB thing for about three years."
"Whenever we were both single, we’d hook up."
"She lived about 300 miles away.'
"We used to sort of dance around the possibility of actually dating, even getting married, but we never pulled the trigger."
"The distance was too much, I think."
"We loved each other very much."
"Got to the point where whether it was platonic or romantic love was difficult to tell, and weirdly, neither of us was in a rush to figure it out."
"I guess we both had faith it would work itself out as it was supposed to."
"And it did."
"She met a great guy, dated him, and married him."
"I performed the ceremony."
"After it was over, at the reception, I gave her a hug and she kissed my cheek and smiled a little flirtatiously (we both knew it was the last time she’d give me that look), and said, 'Thanks for marrying me.'"
"It was one of the most purely loving, intimate moments of my life."
"We are still close."
"Not like before, but we still love each other deeply, and we always will."
"That love just has a more clearly defined label now, and it’s a label we both respect and cherish."
"So yeah, it’s not always a sad ending."
"Sometimes it’s just a weird and beautiful intermission."- RPMac1979
best friends dance GIF by Will & GraceGiphyMust Have Been Good
"More sex."- Glittering_Pea_6228
Be it a friendship or a romantic relationship, having sex is always bound to change things.
If you like things the way they are, think very carefully before taking the leap.
“Everybody hates me until they need me.” What professions are examples of this?"
Joke All You Want, They Both Help You When You're In Trouble...
"Lawyers and mechanics."
"You want to have a good one of each, but you never want to have to call either of them."- OneFingerIn
Literally Always There To Clean Up Your Mess...
"When I was a janitor I got a lot of hate for knocking out my 8 hour day in 4 individual hour long chunks of effort."
"I Was always available for spills and got extra work done every day but spent another 4 hours basically chilling and management not once got on my case."
"The other employees despised this until a customer's colostomy bag somehow ruptured in the bathroom."
"From that day forward none of them gave a f*ck if I was just hanging out on my phone."- Electronic_Warning49
Risking Their Lives To Save Ours
"The US Coast Guard for fishermen and boaters."
"Usually there's a pretty good working relationship between them, but some hate the Coast Guard for the various inspections they do."
"But the USCG is also the ones who will come out there in a storm to rescue them."- raym0ndv2
sad episode 12 GIFGiphyThe IT Factor...
"IT, except people hate me when they need me, too."- Dogstile
"IT, not the clown."- Nebula_Forte
"Any IT job requiring break/fix support."
"Basically when everything works it’s 'good it’s supposed to work' and then when something goes wrong that’s out of your control it’s 'what did you do?!'"
"When we did absolutely nothing to cause the problem, haha."- Psilocyb-zen
It Crowd Maurice Moss GIFGiphyThe Improve Much More Than People's Vanity
"Plastic Surgeons."
"My uncle is a plastic surgeon and he does only reconstructive stuff, fixing burn victims faces and stuff like that."
"But when people ask him what kind of doctor he is and he says Plastic Surgeon, they usually kinda scoff."- darkysix
The Butt Of One Too Many Jokes...
"Lawyer here."
"The expectation that because you are a lawyer you know everything about every law everywhere."
"In reality most lawyers are highly specialized."- Bisjoux
Ironic That The People Who Help Our Smile Often Make Us Frown
"Dentists for sure."- Ohboohoolittlegirl
Dentist GIFGiphyGetting Your Money's Worth
"All the trades guys."
“'They’re so expensive!'"
"Until that plumber shows up at 2am to prevent the sewage backup."
"Or the electrician that fixes an overloaded breaker panel, preventing a fire."
"Or the carpenter who builds the room for your toddler so you can get some sleep and maybe some sexy time."
"Definitely tradesmen."- Wolfie1531
Be Honest Though, Would You Rather Do Your Own Taxes?
"Accounting."- tadashi4
It's Often The Context Which Ignites The Hatred...
"'Lawyer' is going to be the most common answer to this question by far."
"But I suppose any licensed service provider could fall into this category, given the right context."
"Plumbers are another good example."
'Everyone thinks they're scum and crooks until the washing machine breaks down."
"Electricians, contractors, locksmiths, etc."
"They all fit this mold."
Season 2 Lawyer GIF by MartinGiphy"Unless you work with them daily, you're not going to be seeing them very often."
"And you're only seeing them when there's a problem , so you're primed to be upset by the time they even show up."
"Psychologically, you associate the plumbing issue with the plumber, when ironically, the plumber is there to fix it."
"Everyone wants to shoot the messenger."
"IT people and network security professionals are another classic example of this effect."- MissBitsy
When You Realize You Can't Call To Complain...
"Lineman."
"Been called a lazy overpaid drug addict by old men I don't even know."
"God forbid we go grab lunch or a coffee."- MaesterKyle
The Ones Who Make Your Late Night Craving Feasible...
"Fast food workers."
"They’re the butt of every demeaning comment about a lack of achievement or the reason why minimum wage shouldn’t be raised blah blah blah."
"But those people get real quiet once they’re ordering their Big Mac."- TheHomieData
food service ce416 GIF by truTV’s The Carbonaro EffectGiphyIt's often when we need the help of others that we find ourselves at our most anxious and frustrated.
This is why it's important to remind ourselves that these people are there to help us, and we should not take out our anxiety or frustration on them.
Particularly if we want the problem to be solved.