Red Flags Women Cannot Ignore In Men
Looking for love is not easy.
In fact, with each passing day, it seems more and more impossible.
That's when people start to get lazy.
They start to consider just anybody.
Don't drop your guard.
If he seems like a roach.
He's a roach.
And not a hot Jeff Goldblum from "The Fly."
Signs, red flags, gut instincts... they are gifts when it comes to sizing up men.
Don't ignore the signs ladies!
Redditor teckk2003 wanted to discuss the things that women really need to pay attention to when deciding about a guy.
So they asked:
"Ladies on reddit what are red flags you can't ignore in Men?"
I always get weary around someone who can't not talk about themselves. Big flag.
I'm BetterChelsea Peretti Eye Roll GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"When they have to always, always, always one up you."
"Ah I see you’ve met my father."
"Guys that constantly speak over people in conversation. They tend to not be very caring or respectful of others."
"That's my husband (soon to be ex... again). My friend was over the other day to talk about her breakup with her ex girlfriend, and he kept interrupting her, talking over her, trying to give her advice etc. She was clearly frustrated so I walked her back to her house to actually talk about it."
"When I worked at KFC, there was a girl whose boyfriend would stay parked outside the door the during her entire shift. That is not something I've seen commonly and it's a HUGE red flag."
"That happened with a girl I worked with as well. She worked 12 hour shifts and he would sit outside looking in at her for the 12 hours. Then sometimes he'd come in like a sad puppy talking to her. Genuinely pathetic and psycho."
Just Say It...
"Always making excuses rather than just saying ‘I f**ked up. What can I do to rectify this situation? What do you need right now.'"
"I made the mistake of not running the first time my ex wouldn’t apologize for something major. Now I’m in trauma from not only his affair but his inability to just own his sh*t and apologise. I will never let this one slide ever again should I choose to date again."
ListenWill Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy
"Ignorant arrogance - doesn’t seem capable of changing his mind or seeing other perspectives."
Ignorance is not only a red flag, it's horrifying life trait.
Crazy!Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"When every single ex they have was 'crazy.' Err."
"I tried to explain to a friend once that maybe all of his ex’s weren’t crazy and he ended up getting blackout drunk and tried to fight me."
“she’s gone again"
"Unhealthy dependency on my replies. Before I met my current SO, I was chatting to a guy who needed replies within minutes. If I didn’t reply in 30 minutes he’d start saying things like 'she’s gone again.' Or 'and I’ve lost her interest again.' It became like a chore to respond. When I said I didn’t feel comfortable continuing the conversation he started talking about 'How women never gave him a chance, and he is a good man.'"
"It might not seem to him he had ill intent but it came across as controlling and pressuring. I had to block him eventually as he kept on messaging even though I had requested to stop the communication. Later he started sending paid likes on a dating platform to get my attention."
"When they cannot discuss sexual health like an adult. If you're having sex you need to discuss birth control, condoms, and STDs."
"Recently had std talk with 48M, he tells me he’s never been tested for anything. Says he’s just choosy about who he sleeps with so he knows he’s never had anything because he would be able to tell if his partners had an STD. This from a sexually active man that doesn’t use condoms often. I was stunned that anyone could still be this ignorant."
He was 26...
"Easily lost patience and out of control temper over minor things. I dated a guy once who had an argument over the phone with a family member, after he got off the phone he picked up a picture frame that was nearby and just smashed it onto the ground, sending glass everywhere."
"The argument was something to do with a book. We had been dating for maybe 2 months. He was 26. MASSIVE red flag that one is was."
HopelessBenedict Cumberbatch Drinking GIFGiphy
"Weaponized incompetence. Making no attempt at doing something effectively in the hopes that they won't be asked to do it again. If you can't put in the effort, then neither can I."
I hope everyone is listening.
Do you have any major red flags to throw down on the dating field? Let us know in the comments below.
People Reveal The Real Reason Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Partner Or Spouse
Whether we intend for it to be the focus of the relationship or not, one of the defining features of a romantic relationship is its physical interactions.
Anyone who deeply values physical touch might not be able to understand how a relationship could continue if the couple was no longer intimate.
Curious, Redditor cold_h*e asked:
"People who stopped having sex with their partner/husband/wife, what made you stop?"
When Health Gets in the Way
"I was on an antidepressant that shut my libido down. No desire whatsoever, and if we tried, it always ended in my failure. Slowly improved, weaned off it over six months, and things began to get better, all around."
"About that time, my wife began getting sinus headaches. It was subsequently diagnosed as an incurable brain tumor, and she was gone 18 months later. That bout of depression was a walk in the park..."
"Sex hurts her (autoimmune problems)."
"It's been seven years. It turns out I love her more than I thought I could."
"He has a medical problem that means he can't orgasm. Sex always ended with him getting frustrated and upset about it. So it's not worth the stress. I'd rather have him and be celibate than be with anyone else."
"It bothered us at first, but only because we were locked into the idea that married couples need to have a sex life. We went to couples counseling and basically figured out that we love each other and are happy together without sex, so why does it matter what is considered 'normal'?"
"We're a couple of happy little weirdos, and it works for us."
"My wife had morning sickness for about half of every one of her pregnancies. Women are amazing at dealing with all of that. On the plus side, after it subsided, sex was great. Just got better and better until the birth."
"He had more experience than me, and wouldn't listen to me when I said what he was doing didn't feel good. He would tell me he knew what he was doing and to just let him."
"Before my divorce, I got tired of being rejected and having promises made that were never going to be kept."
"I had an accident where someone accidentally fell on my face with their knee and crushed it some years ago (not my partner though)."
"I had some surgeries after that and my face is fine now, but I found myself unable to relax during sex since then. Somehow I am not able to give up control and just let it go while doing physical activities that include two people who are physically close together."
"My mental health has been up and down lately so sex has been a rare occurrence. We had a dry spell that lasted about a year. People underestimate how much mental health can affect a person."
"I got tired of being turned down, so I gave up."
Too Many Responsibilities
"He didn’t support/help or even pull his weight, we rarely went out anywhere, and when we did, I often paid and he’d ask to use my card so it didn’t embarrass him if I was seen to be paying."
"Basically, I was giving more than I was receiving and he cared too much about image over substance. Then he expected me to be up for sex as though I could magically turn myself on like a light switch. He’d walk up to me and grope at me when I was busy. Highly bloody irritating!"
"He also suggested I needed sex therapy when the idea of sleeping with him turned me off altogether. It felt like another chore to add to my already manic list since he didn’t do much to help. Both worked full-time and my job included long travel and entertaining out of hours."
"I felt tired and resentful and no matter how I tried to approach a solution, his response was basically that he doesn’t feel inclined to help as I didn’t put out so he didn’t feel loved enough. It exhausts me just to write that."
"I never cheated just to be clear, I wasn’t getting my kicks elsewhere. I did end it though and my sexual appetite returned with my next partner."
"My ex was verbally and emotionally abusive, and also a drug addict. You can't call me those names and be horrible, and then expect me to be turned on just because you take your pants off. I spent most of my marriage on the couch."
"We haven't been intimate for a long time, but I've decided to stay. We have a kid and yes, it had a lot to do with the decision. I just hope I can take it until my libido dries up."
"The worst part is feeling unattractive. I take pains to make sure she knows she's beautiful, and you'd swear I don't exist unless I beg to be noticed."
"There are times when it's better, but it's always after I've almost left over it."
Changing Over Time
"We started dating when we were 15, we were pretty much the same person as each other. Time went on and we changed as people."
"She stopped working and I gained a bit of weight with stress and being overworked. She stopped being attracted to me and we were just two completely different people from when we first met."
"It ended horribly but I’m now with a lady whom I love very much and we’re getting married later this year."
"I was tired of being called a cow. I was left at home every weekend while he took our only car to his friend's house 2+ hours away. I was exhausted from working four 10-hour days and then spending my three days off doing all the yard work, housework, getting groceries, and then being expected to perform like I wasn't entirely exhausted."
"I lasted two years in that marriage."
Whether it's poor relationship dynamics or health concerns, there are all sorts of reasons why the physical relationship between a couple will change over time. The question ultimately is how important physical intimacy is to both people and how to make sure they both continue to feel fulfilled by the relationship.
People Describe The Creepiest Wikipedia Articles They've Ever Come Across
Those who are fascinated by the paranormal or unsettling situations can quickly get their fix by watching many shows on various streaming platforms and literature.
But they seem to forget that truth is actually stranger than fiction and many of the bizarre plotlines depicted in shows and books are inspired by actual life events.
Curious to hear what keeps strangers online up at night, Redditor wisteriasgirl asked:
"What’s the creepiest Wikipedia article you’ve ever read?"
All it takes is a toxic environment to have deadly consequences.
"Tokyo Subway Sarin Attack, wherein a 10 members of the doomsday cult 'Aum Shinrikiyo' launched five separate Sarin gas attacks onboard five subway trains across three major subway lines in Tokyo. Killed 14, and injured approx 5,000 people, 1,000 of which received serious injuries."
"The cult itself started out as simple yoga group, which gradually turned into a doomsday cult whose goal is to start World War 3. They are also infamous for using chemical weapons in their attacks: VX, Phosgene, Cyanide, and Sarin gas."
Fatal Exposure To Chemical Elements
"The death of Karen Wetterhahn. She died of mercury poisoning at the age of 48 due to accidental exposure to the extremely toxic organic mercury compound dimethylmercury."
"Protective gloves in use at the time of the incident provided insufficient protection, and exposure to only a few drops of the chemical absorbed through the gloves proved to be fatal after less than a year."
DIY Cancer Cure Specialist
"The Toxic Death of Gloria Ramirez which is about a woman who possibly (the definitive cause is unknown) used household chemicals to treat cancer and in the process of caring for her many doctors and nurses fell ill. The chemicals reacted with her blood, creating an airborne toxin. She presented with an oily sheen on her entire body and her insides (mouth, blood, etc) had a pungent, sweet, garlic-y smell."
"Edit: A likely cause for Gloria is known but we can't rule out the theory where her IV bag gets switched out with meth ingredients being smuggled through the hospital (that is actually listed in the wiki) or, of course, aliens. /s And YES, I did first hear of her on buzzfeed unsolved, but I read the Wiki after okay?"
The things humans are capable of doing by causing harm to others is deeply disturbing.
Led By A Doomsday Cult Leader
"Oh man, you should check out the Ant Hill Kids then."
"I'm not sure wikipedia goes into the brutality of it, but imagine screwdriver + brain + acid and a bunch of other f'ked up things. No real reason other than they felt like it in the moment."
This Duo Filmed Their Killings
"It was actually mainly just two guys, the third guy didn't get charged with any murders, just armed robberies that took place before the murders."
"The Bath School Massacre about a man who went insane and bombed a school in order to kill the next generation of his town and get back at the prominent community members that 'slighted him'. Awful, awful."
Murder Of A Japanese High School Student
"Junko Furuta. That whole article just makes my blood boil."
"Carl Tanzler A radiographer who got obsessed with a patient of his, Elena Hoyos. She succumbed to tuberculosis while under his treatment. He stole her body and kept it in his house for years to come, until her family discovered what was going on. Hoyos' decaying body was kept together with wires and a mask was made. He was also married to another woman all this while. Just an all-round disgusting case."
Redditors can't bear to imagine perishing by way of these horrific circumstances.
"The article for Lingchi, or 'death by a thousand cuts.' Its a kind of execution method that was used in China where someone is tied to a wooden frame and is cut to death, usually over the course of several days, sometimes in public."
"Hv u heard about the method where a person’s head, arms and legs are tied to five different horses and they walk in away in different directions tearing the guy apart?"
"It’s called 車裂"
The article I personally found absolutely unsettling was the death of Elisa Lam, whose body was found in a large cistern atop the Cecil Hotel.
The budget hotel, which was named Stay On the Main at the time, was notorious for hauntings and housing serial killers like Richard Ramirez–a.k.a. "The Nightstalker."
Lam was last seen alive inside the building's elevator through viral surveillance footage of her behaving erratically.
Social media users were fixated on her subsequent disappearance, and much of what happened to Lam and how her body found its way into the water tank remains the subject of many theories and debates.
People Who Had Sex With Their Best Friend Break Down What Happened Afterward
In Nora Ephron's classic romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally, the two title characters have fundamental disagreement about men and women's ability to be friends owing to the "sex part getting in the way".
Wherever one stands on this, admittedly heteronormative, argument, there is no denying that many people have managed to sustain close friendships in spite of some obvious sexual tension between them.
Obvious at least to almost all of their inner circle, if not the friends in questions.
Of course, sometimes these friends feel the need to give in to this palpable tension, and go ahead and have sex.
Forever changing their friendships, for better or worse.
"What happened after you had sex with your best friend?"
Change In Status, Still Best Friends
"We had gotten drunk to celebrate me getting into med school, and 8 years of repressed sexual tension just poured out in a single night."
"The next 3 days, we were both in a panicked daze."
"I thought I had lost my best friend for the best sex of my life, and I couldn't stop thinking it wasn't worth it."
"The sex was mind blowing, but no one made me feel as safe or as happy and I would trade anything to keep that."
"He asked would it really be so crazy if we tried dating?"
"We moved in together a month later."
"We've been together now for 7 years, got engaged."
"Saving up for a house and wedding."
"He's still my best friend."- LexicalCat
'We bought an air fryer and a water cooler for our house so I guess you could say things are pretty serious."- ur_newstepmomOffice Break GIFGiphy
An Unfortunate Demise
"Unfortunately we stopped being best friends after that."- Previous_Smile7275
Testing The Waters
"She became my sorta, kinda girlfriend and we've been taking things slow!"- CapG_13·
"I hated doing it with her cuz she said, 'you are like a brother to me!' after doing it."- aldrin2111
"He hates me now."- estrellaprincessa
"What happened is : I wanted more and fell totally in love with her."
"She didn’t and thought it was a mistake."
"We tried staying friends, she became distant, I became weird."
"She decided that we shouldn’t see each other anymore."
"At all."- Grin-Guythe oc couple in bed GIFGiphy
Made It Official
"We went to sleep."
"And are married for 8 years now."- DocSternau
"We got married."
"3 kids, a grandson and 37 years later I still don't regret it."- Cheezel62
"Knew she was in it for the long con."- aggierogue3Love Is Love Wedding GIF by PBS KIDSGiphy
Still The Same Old Friends...
"We did a FWB thing for about three years."
"Whenever we were both single, we’d hook up."
"She lived about 300 miles away.'
"We used to sort of dance around the possibility of actually dating, even getting married, but we never pulled the trigger."
"The distance was too much, I think."
"We loved each other very much."
"Got to the point where whether it was platonic or romantic love was difficult to tell, and weirdly, neither of us was in a rush to figure it out."
"I guess we both had faith it would work itself out as it was supposed to."
"And it did."
"She met a great guy, dated him, and married him."
"I performed the ceremony."
"After it was over, at the reception, I gave her a hug and she kissed my cheek and smiled a little flirtatiously (we both knew it was the last time she’d give me that look), and said, 'Thanks for marrying me.'"
"It was one of the most purely loving, intimate moments of my life."
"We are still close."
"Not like before, but we still love each other deeply, and we always will."
"That love just has a more clearly defined label now, and it’s a label we both respect and cherish."
"So yeah, it’s not always a sad ending."
"Sometimes it’s just a weird and beautiful intermission."- RPMac1979best friends dance GIF by Will & GraceGiphy
Must Have Been Good
"More sex."- Glittering_Pea_6228
Be it a friendship or a romantic relationship, having sex is always bound to change things.
If you like things the way they are, think very carefully before taking the leap.
People Share The Best Professional Examples Of 'Everyone Hates Me Until They Need Me'
From the moment they can talk through their teenage years, all children utter the words "I hate you" to one or both of their parents.
While they think they might truly mean it at the time, it takes them virtually no time at all to realize that is far from the truth, as they need their parents more than they can possibly realize.
In truth, seemingly genuine hatred towards people we actually need is something all adults continue to find themselves struggling with.
This time, often with people who work in certain professions, whom they tend to mock or belittle, believing that all their jobs do is make life more difficult for other people.
Only to find themselves requiring their services soon thereafter.
“Everybody hates me until they need me.” What professions are examples of this?"
Joke All You Want, They Both Help You When You're In Trouble...
"Lawyers and mechanics."
"You want to have a good one of each, but you never want to have to call either of them."- OneFingerIn
Literally Always There To Clean Up Your Mess...
"When I was a janitor I got a lot of hate for knocking out my 8 hour day in 4 individual hour long chunks of effort."
"I Was always available for spills and got extra work done every day but spent another 4 hours basically chilling and management not once got on my case."
"The other employees despised this until a customer's colostomy bag somehow ruptured in the bathroom."
"From that day forward none of them gave a f*ck if I was just hanging out on my phone."- Electronic_Warning49
Risking Their Lives To Save Ours
"The US Coast Guard for fishermen and boaters."
"Usually there's a pretty good working relationship between them, but some hate the Coast Guard for the various inspections they do."
"But the USCG is also the ones who will come out there in a storm to rescue them."- raym0ndv2sad episode 12 GIFGiphy
The IT Factor...
"IT, except people hate me when they need me, too."- Dogstile
"IT, not the clown."- Nebula_Forte
"Any IT job requiring break/fix support."
"Basically when everything works it’s 'good it’s supposed to work' and then when something goes wrong that’s out of your control it’s 'what did you do?!'"
"When we did absolutely nothing to cause the problem, haha."- Psilocyb-zenIt Crowd Maurice Moss GIFGiphy
The Improve Much More Than People's Vanity
"My uncle is a plastic surgeon and he does only reconstructive stuff, fixing burn victims faces and stuff like that."
"But when people ask him what kind of doctor he is and he says Plastic Surgeon, they usually kinda scoff."- darkysix
The Butt Of One Too Many Jokes...
"The expectation that because you are a lawyer you know everything about every law everywhere."
"In reality most lawyers are highly specialized."- Bisjoux
Ironic That The People Who Help Our Smile Often Make Us Frown
"Dentists for sure."- OhboohoolittlegirlDentist GIFGiphy
Getting Your Money's Worth
"All the trades guys."
“'They’re so expensive!'"
"Until that plumber shows up at 2am to prevent the sewage backup."
"Or the electrician that fixes an overloaded breaker panel, preventing a fire."
"Or the carpenter who builds the room for your toddler so you can get some sleep and maybe some sexy time."
"Definitely tradesmen."- Wolfie1531
Be Honest Though, Would You Rather Do Your Own Taxes?
It's Often The Context Which Ignites The Hatred...
"'Lawyer' is going to be the most common answer to this question by far."
"But I suppose any licensed service provider could fall into this category, given the right context."
"Plumbers are another good example."
'Everyone thinks they're scum and crooks until the washing machine breaks down."
"Electricians, contractors, locksmiths, etc."
"They all fit this mold."Season 2 Lawyer GIF by MartinGiphy
"Unless you work with them daily, you're not going to be seeing them very often."
"And you're only seeing them when there's a problem , so you're primed to be upset by the time they even show up."
"Psychologically, you associate the plumbing issue with the plumber, when ironically, the plumber is there to fix it."
"Everyone wants to shoot the messenger."
"IT people and network security professionals are another classic example of this effect."- MissBitsy
When You Realize You Can't Call To Complain...
"Been called a lazy overpaid drug addict by old men I don't even know."
"God forbid we go grab lunch or a coffee."- MaesterKyle
The Ones Who Make Your Late Night Craving Feasible...
"Fast food workers."
"They’re the butt of every demeaning comment about a lack of achievement or the reason why minimum wage shouldn’t be raised blah blah blah."
"But those people get real quiet once they’re ordering their Big Mac."- TheHomieDatafood service ce416 GIF by truTV’s The Carbonaro EffectGiphy
It's often when we need the help of others that we find ourselves at our most anxious and frustrated.
This is why it's important to remind ourselves that these people are there to help us, and we should not take out our anxiety or frustration on them.
Particularly if we want the problem to be solved.