Looking for love is not easy.
In fact, with each passing day, it seems more and more impossible.
That's when people start to get lazy.
They start to consider just anybody.
Don't drop your guard.
If he seems like a roach.
He's a roach.
And not a hot Jeff Goldblum from "The Fly."
Signs, red flags, gut instincts... they are gifts when it comes to sizing up men.
Don't ignore the signs ladies!
Redditor teckk2003 wanted to discuss the things that women really need to pay attention to when deciding about a guy.
So they asked:
"Ladies on reddit what are red flags you can't ignore in Men?"
I always get weary around someone who can't not talk about themselves. Big flag.
I'm Better
Chelsea Peretti Eye Roll GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"When they have to always, always, always one up you."
FoodFactor
"Ah I see you’ve met my father."
re_Claire
Shut Up
"Guys that constantly speak over people in conversation. They tend to not be very caring or respectful of others."
DaisyDeerling
"That's my husband (soon to be ex... again). My friend was over the other day to talk about her breakup with her ex girlfriend, and he kept interrupting her, talking over her, trying to give her advice etc. She was clearly frustrated so I walked her back to her house to actually talk about it."
Rich-Hold4875
Watching You
"When I worked at KFC, there was a girl whose boyfriend would stay parked outside the door the during her entire shift. That is not something I've seen commonly and it's a HUGE red flag."
lidaliy182
"That happened with a girl I worked with as well. She worked 12 hour shifts and he would sit outside looking in at her for the 12 hours. Then sometimes he'd come in like a sad puppy talking to her. Genuinely pathetic and psycho."
Earthshock1
"That’s psychotic."
savoyard9
Just Say It...
"Never apologizing."
SuvenPan
"Always making excuses rather than just saying ‘I f**ked up. What can I do to rectify this situation? What do you need right now.'"
"I made the mistake of not running the first time my ex wouldn’t apologize for something major. Now I’m in trauma from not only his affair but his inability to just own his sh*t and apologise. I will never let this one slide ever again should I choose to date again."
punkyfish10
Listen
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"Ignorant arrogance - doesn’t seem capable of changing his mind or seeing other perspectives."
Adventurous_Range663
Ignorance is not only a red flag, it's horrifying life trait.
Crazy!
Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"When every single ex they have was 'crazy.' Err."
LloydRainy
"I tried to explain to a friend once that maybe all of his ex’s weren’t crazy and he ended up getting blackout drunk and tried to fight me."
reallysrry
“she’s gone again"
"Unhealthy dependency on my replies. Before I met my current SO, I was chatting to a guy who needed replies within minutes. If I didn’t reply in 30 minutes he’d start saying things like 'she’s gone again.' Or 'and I’ve lost her interest again.' It became like a chore to respond. When I said I didn’t feel comfortable continuing the conversation he started talking about 'How women never gave him a chance, and he is a good man.'"
"It might not seem to him he had ill intent but it came across as controlling and pressuring. I had to block him eventually as he kept on messaging even though I had requested to stop the communication. Later he started sending paid likes on a dating platform to get my attention."
Suihime
TMI
"When they cannot discuss sexual health like an adult. If you're having sex you need to discuss birth control, condoms, and STDs."
nadanope11
"Recently had std talk with 48M, he tells me he’s never been tested for anything. Says he’s just choosy about who he sleeps with so he knows he’s never had anything because he would be able to tell if his partners had an STD. This from a sexually active man that doesn’t use condoms often. I was stunned that anyone could still be this ignorant."
Automatic-Two-2047
He was 26...
"Easily lost patience and out of control temper over minor things. I dated a guy once who had an argument over the phone with a family member, after he got off the phone he picked up a picture frame that was nearby and just smashed it onto the ground, sending glass everywhere."
"The argument was something to do with a book. We had been dating for maybe 2 months. He was 26. MASSIVE red flag that one is was."
juicytubes
Hopeless
Benedict Cumberbatch Drinking GIFGiphy"Weaponized incompetence. Making no attempt at doing something effectively in the hopes that they won't be asked to do it again. If you can't put in the effort, then neither can I."
fcandiax
I hope everyone is listening.
Do you have any major red flags to throw down on the dating field? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor cheerfulspinach wanted to discuss the truth about being cleansed... so they asked:
"What is something people think is a 'healthy option' but actually isn't?"
We all need to research more to define 'healthy.'"
Sneaky, sneaky...
Hold On Waiting GIF by Nature ValleyGiphy"Sugar sneaks it's way into all sorts of 'healthy' foods. Make sure to check the nutrition facts if you are watching for it. I'm looking at you, granola."
cottonfist
Cleanse Crap
"Those stupid juicing detox programs... your body's liver and kidney's naturally detox your body so long as you drink plenty of water. This whole notion that you are detoxing your body with juice is a*inine."
fihiv13853
"The financial director of the WORST place I've ever worked decided to go onto a juice detox. Each tiny bottle was like £5 (this is back in 2016) and his diet was literally 5 of those bottles a day."
"However during work he would get agitated and lacking energy so he'd 'top up' with haribo throughout the day to make sure he didn't collapse. Very freaking healthy."
luv2belis
75 pounds in a year...
"I had a friend in college who believed sub sandwiches were healthy. Like... not specific ones. The Subway health based commercials made her think that anything served in sub form was healthy. She was eating footlong white bread covered in cheese with double bacon and ham sandwiches with extra cheese, extra mayo, extra oil or ranch and whatever else she wanted on them or chicken bacon ranch subs with double cheese and double bacon. Devouring them 2-3 times a day to lose weight."
"She hadn't told anyone she was trying to lose weight but after she gained 75 pounds in a year, some of her friends started asking why she ate so many unhealthy sandwiches every day. Her mind was blown when we told her that sub sandwiches aren't magically healthy just because of the form factor."
SadLaser
Bad Rep
"Smoothies from smoothie shops They use sorbets, ice creams, and juices with an insane amount of sugar in them. My sister worked at a smoothie shop, and people would always come in after going to the gym. It’s not what most people think it is."
wekig10581
"Depends on the smoothie but yes most of those mainstream chains are like that."
iast68
Options
"'Low-fat' or 'fat-free' options. These products often have added sugars and other unhealthy additives to compensate for the lack of fat. In some cases, these options may actually be worse for you than the full-fat versions."
Appropriate-Land9451
"And not to mention they STILL taste worse than the full fat versions. Lowfat yogurt is the bane of my existence."
fallout_koi
Low does not mean no.
Smell the flowers...
"Vaginal washes on a daily basis so it smells like lavender instead of what vaginas are supposed to smell like. It's unnecessary and changes your pH down there and pre disposes you to infections."
fihiv13853
Take a Brake
"I think a lot of Millennials and Gen Zers are beginning to catch on to how bad it can potentially be, but I think dedicating your life just to work is really unhealthy. I mean fair enough if you have a job you really enjoy, but even so if you dedicate almost every waking moment to your job there's a problem generally. Its not a great attitude, live to work."
sopica8678
Buying into the system...
"Toxic positivity. The people who tell you that you need to love yourself regardless of whatever debilitating disability or mental condition you have that makes doing so near impossible Or the people who, whenever you try to reach out, immediately try to downplay your problems (you don’t hate your body, society just MAKES you buy more products/your not depressed, society sucks)."
"People who try to take what you say about yourself and twist it beyond recognition into some pseudo-'woke‘ actually society is the problem’ bulls**t and passively blame you for not waking up farting rainbows because actually everything you’ve ever disliked about yourself was created by 3 white dudes 200 years ago therefore making any doubt you have just ‘buying into the system.'"
LavaRoseKinnie
Muffins
"Honestly, a lot of whether or not something is healthy or unhealthy (especially in the context of weight loss) depends on the specific person."
"For example, I have to avoid eating nuts as a snack because they're extremely calorie dense while not being at all filling to me and hence I can overeat them really easily without thinking about them without any benefits of affecting my hunger level."
"But for someone who doesn't have my issue with snacking foods, a handful of nuts as a snack would absolutely be a great part of a balanced diet."
"On a more general level though, muffins. Most muffins you can buy are basically cupcakes but people treat muffins like a diet food."
badgersprite
Be Calm
Relaxing Chill Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy"Not getting angry. Holding in your negative emotions not only increases your cortisol stress levels, it also prevents you from opening up about the things that are holding you back."
"If you learn how to talk things out and express frustration before things boil over, you just might find that your relationships are more honest and fulfilling."
GoddessLeVianFoxx
Being healthy is all a state of mind.
Anything you'd like to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Isingsongstomycats wanted to hear about what can completely make us regret speaking to another person, so they asked:
"What instantly ruins a conversation for you?"
I'm ornery. Anything and everything can turn me off.
Blocked
honey boo boo phone GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"Getting their phone out for no reason mid conversation."
Expensive_Pie_6943
"Sometimes I want to look up something pertinent to the conversation but I don't want to interrupt them to say that. Now when someone checks their notification mid conversation, that really burns me."
cutelyaware
Up & Up
"When someone feels the need to one up you on everything you say."
Apprehensive_Gap_368
"Had a coworker like this once, his one upping was so bad we would test it. Best one was a guy talking about catching a shark on a pole at the beach. He interrupted with the time he swam out a mile and got attacked by a shark and beat it and swam back with it."
Mess_Bubbly
Rude
"When they start saying nasty things about people they barely know."
WeirdShyKitten
"I have family like this. I once heard them go on on this rant about how the new waitress at their local coffee shop is fat and ugly. They made a thousands assumptions about this woman that included criticism to her service."
18062022
"Or start sh*t talking someone the second they leave the room. My dad's sisters do that, I was stuck in my parents house alone with them and I would get so paranoid every time I left the room. If they do that to each other, I can’t image the crap they talk about me."
vicki_chicki
War of Words
"When they ask for your opinion or talking about something fully subjective and then tell you how you are objectively wrong or get offended by you nor agreeing."
Prize_Interaction931
"Similar, but not quite the same: my old roommate would correct me on things that were objective, and not like facts."
"Like I mentioned it was hard for my folks to get a mortgage because they were self employed and he correct me that it wasn't. He wouldn't believe the story i was telling and told me what he thought might have happened with no knowledge on the subject."
"Needless to say I moved out."
SFXBTPD
Blah Blah
Bored Chris Rock GIF by BounceGiphy"When it feels like you're engaging a combination lock just to get responses to simple innocent pieces of a conversation. People who small talk you to death."
I swear small talk people should be arrested for attempted murder.
Useless
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"When someone drags a story out with useless details. Like something that happened on the drive to work but they start the story at the point when they first woke up and what they had for breakfast. Just get to the point!"
ticklemebits
Paused
"When they interrupt me mid sentence."
HelpMeSweetJesus
"If it sometimes happens on accident whenever they think of something and get over-excited it’s whatevs. Now when they constantly step over you it’s like your opinion merely feels like filler at best and they ain’t even listening. Not even worth the energy to continue at that point."
BAKED_TATER_
"One of my coworkers only listens long enough to figure out what she's going to say next, and then she interrupts. I guess we're only there to feed her lines."
Witty_Commentator
Do Better
"When someone gives you completely useless advice you didn't ask for. A couple weeks ago I mentioned to a coworker that I was glad to be going home because I didn't get more than a couple hours of sleep."
"Dude first of all had the audacity to say 'Well, you need to do better.' When I said I have medication resistant insomnia he looks at me like I'm an idiot and asks if I've tried melatonin."
errant_night
Duh
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that. And it doesn’t take you very long to spot one of them, does it. Take you about eight seconds. You’ll be listening to some guy, and say, this guy is f**king stupid. Then, then there are some people, they’re not stupid. They’re full of crap."
"Huh, that doesn’t take very long to spot, either, does it. Take you about the same amount of time. You’ll be listening to some guy, saying, well, he’s fairly intelligent. Ah, he’s full of s**t. Then there are some people, they’re not stupid, they’re not full of s**t, they’re freaking nuts."
teaching-man
Gross...
Disgusted Emma Stone GIFGiphy"Sexualization. We're talking about a new video game and suddenly I get asked if I play naked, or if I'm turned on by a game mechanic or some such nonsense. Yuck."
GreenAppleLady
Good conversation is hard to keep these days.
Do you have any conversational red flags to add? Let us know in the comments below.