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Everybody knows friends are one of the best things in life - but what happens when the best thing is also the worst?


You know what we mean, most of us have had (or been) a frienemy once or twice in our lives. For a lot of us, that toxic friend relationship was something we didn't even know we were in.


Reddit user @DisruptiveandMissed asked:

What are some red flags of a bad friendship?

We're not saying it was a popular question, but it's got almost 40 thousand people watching, liking and commenting on it. So yeah, it's safe to say folks have a lot to say about craptastical friends.

The Drain

Every time you're finished hanging out you feel worse than you did before, that's a sign of a bad friend.

- LivLoft

Or if you consistently put off replying to them, not out of spite or anything but just because you don't have the energy for them. they're draining you.

obviously not black and white (some people are just the type that require a lot of energy because they have a lot themselves), but recognizing this has saved me from a LOT of unhappy or even toxic friendships.

- Maximumovarize

Eggshells

Walking on eggshells. Constantly worrying if what you say is going to make them mad. When they can lean on you whenever they need you but you can't lean on them.

- Toporbottomquark

Dismissive

Being dismissive of all your interests and achievements. Meanwhile everything they do, no matter how mundane, is amazing.

- Wild0ats

Or the flip side of the same coin. Being dismissive of all your problems or struggles. Meanwhile everything that happens to them, no matter how mundane, is a tragedy.

- Griffinwalsh

This Time...

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You see you got a private message from them and your gut reaction is to start getting nervous or anxious.

"What is it this time..."

- DiscordDraconequus

I recently had a friend that texted "Check your email" and my first thought was "Oh god, what now?" I realized that if another else text, my first thought would be they forwarded me a coupon or an article, something I'd be interested in.

That red flag is real.

- DramaBrat

New Friend 

They act just fine whenever they invite you over, and then as soon as someone else comes into the picture, their whole attitude changes. They begin treating you with disrespect, just to try and act cool in front of their new friend.

- Lionheart395

Or you're the new friend and you get treated like shit because you haven't known anyone you can't possibly understand the inside jokes, but no offence right?

- Tinytinasrabidotter

Me, Myself and I

Flaking on engagements with you, and only talking about themselves without asking about how you are doing.

- Jack_The_Lion

A friend of mine did the second, and when I told her this and that it didn't feel like a two way friendship, she started making sure to always ask how I was. Only, that's all it is. I could say literally anything in answer and get nothing back but how she's doing. So she fixed her words but nothing else, it feels like.

- Jenamac

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (Or Worse) 

When they've always got to one-up someone. You had a bad day? Theirs was worse. Your commute was crappy? Theirs was worse. You got a promotion at work? Well, something even better happened to them at their job that day! And on and on...

- Flyerflew

Freeloaders

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Friend: Hey you wanna come with us to McDonald's

You: Yea sure why why not

at McDonald's

Friend: Hey man I got no money on me, mind if you get me some food? I'll pay you back

You: Uhh yea um I gotchu

one week later

Friend: Hey you wanna come with us to McDonald's

You: Yea sure why why not

at McDonald's

Friend: Hey man I got no money on me, mind if you get me some food? I'll pay you back

You: Uhh yea um I gotchu but you didn't pay me back last time

Friend: don't worry I'll pay you back double

You: Alright

fast forward a year later

Friend: Hey you wanna come with us to McDonald's

You: Yea sure why why not

at McDonald's

Friend: Hey man I got no money on me, mind if you get me some food? I'll pay you back

You: THIS IS BIG MAC #30. PAY ME MY $176.46 CENTS.

Stay away from freeloaders guys.

- CEOofWakanda

Cling

Very, very clingy. can't accept that you aren't best friends after knowing each other for two weeks.

- Johnny_youtubes

I had a girl at work decide I was her work bestie and told me a story involving her blowing a stripper over the previous weekend.... on the first night we ever worked together.

By the second shift I was getting stories of recent suicide attempts and I'm trying to sidle out of the room as naturally as possible.

- CX316

I had to untangle myself from a "friendship" like this nearly two years ago. I was being tagged in best friend Word Porn shit on Facebook every other day after like a month of meeting her, and she would text me almost constantly, either to talk about some drama or to ask a favor of me. I knew she had personal problems and I felt terrible for the feeling of dread I got whenever I received a message from her, but she was exhausting and a huge drain on my emotional reserves.

When my mum was diagnosed with cancer, I told her that I needed her to stop messaging me, as I was trying to process the news and be there for my mum at the same time. She disrespected my wishes, and I blocked her for a few months until she managed to wriggle her way back into my life somehow and it all started again.

In the end, it came out she was crushing hard on me, which I kind of suspected. When her texts started to become sexual, I just snapped and told her to leave me alone once and for all. It also turns out that another person had to get a restraining order out against her before she met me, so there's that.

- ImStealingTheTowels

Dealbreakers

If they don't listen to you in conversations but rather are sitting there waiting for their turn to speak, it's a dealbreaker.

If they are permanently an innocent victim, surrounded by wrongdoers, that's a dealbreaker.

If they are a drama-mama or a drama-papa, that is a deal.break.er.

If they only call you when they need something, they are using you. Dealbreaker

If they are not happy for you when something good happens, but instead lament how they are not as happy - dealbreaker.

If they exclude you intentionally, talk about you behind your back, spill your secrets... those are major dealbreakers, shut it down.

- Squeakymayotoes

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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