
People Reveal The Most Important Things To Ask Before Renting
[rebelmouse-image 18359187 is_animated_gif=A popular financial magazine recently published an article claiming that by age 35, people should have twice their yearly salary saved. People responded ... preeeeeeeeeeetty much how you probably just did. The internet collectively scoffed and pointed out that the financial world isn't what it used to be. With student loans, inflation and insecure career prospects, our goals aren't the same as they used to be. Things like owning a home, having years worth of money in savings, etc. just aren't as easily achieved anymore.
That means more and more people are renting as opposed to purchasing. With all of these people renting for longer, it's important to know what to look for in a rental. One Reddit user asked:
What are the most important things to ask/check when viewing a new property to rent?
We saw answers from property experts, people with horror stories, pizza lovers and at least one person who maybe has never heard of sunglasses... click ahead to read more!
Night Noise
[rebelmouse-image 18359188 is_animated_gif=Go to the property at night and see what the noise is like.
I used to have a neighbor that bought a set of 4-foot tall neighborhood-thumper speakers and decided to start blasting Skynyrd at 12:30 in the middle of the damn night on a weeknight in an apartment building with walls that might as well have been made of cardboard. Like, sh!t hanging on my walls would rattle, and I had stuff falling off of shelves.
I went over and knocked on his door and asked him to turn it down because I had to work the next morning and he told me to go f*** myself because it was his apartment and I couldn't tell him not to.
For the next two weeks or so, he'd fire the speakers up at random times and play one of the same three country songs on repeat for an hour or so before shutting them down.
I'd call the cops and if they'd show up they'd just tell him to knock it off, and he'd turn it down, then half an hour later, he'd pump it again, and the cops had "better things to do" than to come deal with him all the time.
So I watched and figured out his work schedule, then, on a night before he had to work at 6am, I fired up my surround sound at maximum volume blaring Marylyn Manson at midnight, and left that running for about 45 minutes.
I think he got the message because it was never a problem again.
Pizza
[rebelmouse-image 18359189 is_animated_gif=I work for an apartment property investment company. A new thing we implemented when looking at properties to buy is we see if we can order pizza to that location. If they won't deliver there, it's not a good area.
Placement Matters
[rebelmouse-image 18359191 is_animated_gif=We made the mistake of a corner lot two blocks from downtown with a stop sign. This a somewhat country town, lots of lifted trucks and ridiculous exhaust pipes. Apparently this is where you can peel out and accelerate to 70 mph to the next stop sign. I'm somewhat used to it now but sheesh that sh!t is obnoxious.
Hot Water
[rebelmouse-image 18359192 is_animated_gif=I always check if the shower is getting hot and has proper flow. I'll never forget living in my first student flat in a cold winter where the shower wouldn't get hot. That was beyond fucking annoying.
Also check for mold.
Roach Poop
[rebelmouse-image 18359193 is_animated_gif=No one seemed to mention this... but as a kid who grew up in a roach infested apartment in a bad area. The first thing I do when looking at a place is go into the cabinets and crevices and check for droppings. Yes roaches leave tons of s***, even if the owner tries to clean it up, if there are bugs you'll eventually find some droppings. As someone who went through that once, forget about noise and water pressure, this is the most important thing to check for.
No Internet? No Lease.
[rebelmouse-image 18359194 is_animated_gif=What your Internet options are.
And I mean really check. Call the ISP, give the full address, maybe even start filling a request and cancel it in the middle just to see if they can reach your area. A month ago I moved into an apartment that seemed fine. I was waiting a month before getting internet just to make sure I could afford it.
The modem gets mailed to me. It was then that I discovered there were no phone jacks in my apartment... except for one, all the way in my bedroom, that was heavily painted over and looked like it was intentionally concealed. Anyways, it didn't work and AT&T had to send a technician. Of course the phone line was shot, and he had to drill a hole in the wall to get a new line through.
But lo and behold, the guy who sold me the service over the phone lied to me about qualifying for service at my address. It's out of range, as the technician tells me. This is all despite the fact that I live in a decently sized populous city and all. The guy on the phone also lied about the speed, as he assured me this speed was good for gaming and streaming, but the technician told me that the speed could only handle light browsing and no streaming.
"Built To Code"
[rebelmouse-image 18359195 is_animated_gif=If your realtor says "built to code", that means they made the building as crappy as legally possible.
Can You Hear Me Now?
[rebelmouse-image 18359197 is_animated_gif=Check the signal on your phone.
Forgot about that with the house we bought 3 years ago. I can maybe get 1 bar if I stand in the doorway of the master bathroom. Ended up getting a microcell booster because we'd like to be able to call 911 in a real emergency. Which will hopefully not happen during a power outage. The house was built with a landline connection, but no telecom companies are servicing landlines anymore. They're only doing internet phones, which will not work during a power outage.
This is in a suburb of Dallas. We're 1.5 miles west from the nearest cell tower, which is oriented North-South. Our subdivision is on a peninsula in a lake.
We really like this house. It's as old as we are, and will need work in the coming years but, it was a great fit for us from the first walkthrough.
Heads Up
[rebelmouse-image 18359198 is_animated_gif=Know Your Landlord!
And know how much notice the landlord has to give before showing up for whatever reason. Ideally, you want an expressed term of time. I had a lease that stated "reasonable" notice and the law only required the same. As a result, my landlord thought four hours notice was reasonable when I wouldn't even get the message of my phone until much later. I thought 24 hours was reasonable.
Another landlord would give... 20 minutes notice? He'd show up to "check the fire alarm," while I or my roommate was in the shower. Happened more than once. Finally, I googled the law and my state requires 24 hour notice. He and his wife were just banking on the idea that we were all dumb kids. I emailed him the law. When I moved out, he screamed at me that I was not a lawyer and can't quote law to him (I was mentioning the fact that they had built a makeshift locked gate on the fire escape - illegal). He also called me despicable. Get that notice in writing. You can ask for changes to leases before you sign.
Petty Neighbors
[rebelmouse-image 18359199 is_animated_gif=If you're in an apartment complex, check that there aren't a million petty signs up in the foyer telling you what you can't do. A few signs about legitimate issues is to be expected, but if you're finding a bunch of notices about things like a bag of trash outside the door for an hour, kids laughing too loud, parking etc. it's a giveaway that your neighbors are gonna be a problem.
Dumpsters
[rebelmouse-image 18359200 is_animated_gif=I'm a paramedic and have been to an untold number of communities ranging from super high-end to complete nightmares. Regardless of the price range of where you are considering go look at the dumpsters. Nothing will tell you more about the community than how the residents treat the dumpster areas. If you are a jerk that has no regard for other people and is okay just slinging your excrement nonchalantly a community of decent people is not for you.
Utilities
[rebelmouse-image 18359201 is_animated_gif=What utilities are included in the rent, not just this but asking what those total costs are.
On average what is the gas, water and electric bill. I rented a place where it wasn't included (which is fine) and the electric bill was insanely high. There was no insulation in walls to keep heat in so furnace was running constantly. I wish I'd asked the costs.
*Another User Responded: *
The first apartment I ever got was with my sister. We lived in a decent two bedroom and our electric bill was crazy high. I just thought it cost that much. Then she moved for a job, I got a smaller one bedroom apartment, and I thought my first electric bill was a mistake. We had been paying about $300/month and my first bill in my new apartment was $25. Well, no, it wasn't a mistake. The old apartment was basically just walls, no insulation at all, and in Louisiana this means the A/C was trying to cool not just the apartment but the whole neighborhood.
Bed Bugs
[rebelmouse-image 18359202 is_animated_gif=Bed bugs. I moved into an apartment, and when a neighbor moved, I got their bed bugs. It's been hellish, costly, and I just moved back into my apartment last week from staying at my parents for a month. Bought a new bed, and guess what? I might still have them. I don't know. It's like A Scanner Darkly, I'm terrified of itching now.
Here's the rage inducing kicker. I told my apartment manager about the issue, in hopes that they would spray or heat treat for them- since it wasn't me that brought them in. Nope. It's on me. Oh, and if I don't get it treated, they will charge me the cost of getting the place treated and possibly take me to court.
You do not ever want to risk getting bed bugs. It has cost me not only thousands of tangible dollars, but also forced me to get rid of just about every single article of clothing I own, many other possessions (bed, couch, etc), and more than a month of my life.
All because my apartment manager was too cheap to properly treat the units.
(Don't) Go West
[rebelmouse-image 18359203 is_animated_gif=Avoid living west of your work if you drive there. Sun in eyes both ways everyday sucks.
More Power
[rebelmouse-image 18359205 is_animated_gif=Count the outlets. Two per room aren't enough! Also, the number of light fixtures. For some reason, where I live most of the apartments do not have light fixtures in the living room and bedroom areas, so if you forget to buy lamps you have to spend the first night in the dark.
Ghosts
[rebelmouse-image 18353260 is_animated_gif=Who are all of the previous tenants? How did they die? How long did they live after moving into this property? Was the property built on sacred land?
Horror movies have totally prepped me for this.
Orange Discoloration
[rebelmouse-image 18359206 is_animated_gif=As an asthmatic currently having a s*** time thanks to this, have a good look at the ceiling corners in your bathroom. Mold might just be orange discoloration, or straight up black fuzzies.
Moving in June, thank Pete.
Indoor Smokers
[rebelmouse-image 18345799 is_animated_gif=If you are a nonsmoker you're going to want to be sure your apartment has either never had a smoker in it or has been properly cleaned since an indoors smoker lived there. If a long-term resident also smoked indoors, the smell will have permeated in to the walls, carpet, and even the cabinets depending on how long they lived there and how heavy they smoked. Make sure the carpets have been professionally cleaned and open cabinets and closets and sniff for smoke smells. If you smell them, minor cases of bad smoke smells can be fixed with a new coat of paint and steam cleaning the carpet.
Curtains Not Included
[rebelmouse-image 18359207 is_animated_gif=I signed for a beautiful condo that had stainless steel everything, very modern, the works. This included floor-to-ceiling windows. Awesome, right? Wrong. This place didn't have curtains included. I'm talking at least 12 ft windows, sun in my eyes, and visible from the bed. The issues here:
1. There are no curtain rods long enough for the width of the windows
2. There are no curtains long enough for the height of the windows
3. Curtains are !@#$ing expensive when you have to have them custom made, including the damn rod. 4. The building could have not allowed modifications to the walls, which means you can't put up curtains (rare, but happens).
Remember: Just because you see it during the open house/showing, doesn't mean it'll be there when you move in.
Should Be Spotless
[rebelmouse-image 18359208 is_animated_gif=As a land lord let me give you this piece of advice when you are looking at apartments. Look. Take a look at every thing from the moment you arrive to the moment you leave. Is the lawn cut? Is the building landscaped? Is the entry way and hall ways clean. Same goes for the apartment, if it's empty it should be spotless. Try every faucet, flush every toilet, make sure there aren't any drips. Are the door knobs loose? Are any of the windows crack/broken. All of these things are indications on how your apartment will be maintained. If the place looks like shit on the outside chances are your LL isn't going to be rushing over to you place to fix a leaky faucet. If an apartment is empty when you view it, it should be perfect and if there is something wrong ask the LL and if they don't say we'll fix it immediately move along
H/T: Reddit
It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
his_eminence56
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
mrwitch
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
OldWomanintheWoods
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
[deleted]
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
Minister_of_Joy
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
WiseOwlBear
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
[deleted]
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
theyarnilama
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
[deleted]
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
ThadisJones
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
The Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
Vanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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