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People Reveal The Most Important Things To Ask Before Renting

People Reveal The Most Important Things To Ask Before Renting

People Reveal The Most Important Things To Ask Before Renting

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A popular financial magazine recently published an article claiming that by age 35, people should have twice their yearly salary saved. People responded ... preeeeeeeeeeetty much how you probably just did. The internet collectively scoffed and pointed out that the financial world isn't what it used to be. With student loans, inflation and insecure career prospects, our goals aren't the same as they used to be. Things like owning a home, having years worth of money in savings, etc. just aren't as easily achieved anymore.

That means more and more people are renting as opposed to purchasing. With all of these people renting for longer, it's important to know what to look for in a rental. One Reddit user asked:

What are the most important things to ask/check when viewing a new property to rent?

We saw answers from property experts, people with horror stories, pizza lovers and at least one person who maybe has never heard of sunglasses... click ahead to read more!

Night Noise

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Go to the property at night and see what the noise is like.

I used to have a neighbor that bought a set of 4-foot tall neighborhood-thumper speakers and decided to start blasting Skynyrd at 12:30 in the middle of the damn night on a weeknight in an apartment building with walls that might as well have been made of cardboard. Like, sh!t hanging on my walls would rattle, and I had stuff falling off of shelves.

I went over and knocked on his door and asked him to turn it down because I had to work the next morning and he told me to go f*** myself because it was his apartment and I couldn't tell him not to.

For the next two weeks or so, he'd fire the speakers up at random times and play one of the same three country songs on repeat for an hour or so before shutting them down.

I'd call the cops and if they'd show up they'd just tell him to knock it off, and he'd turn it down, then half an hour later, he'd pump it again, and the cops had "better things to do" than to come deal with him all the time.

So I watched and figured out his work schedule, then, on a night before he had to work at 6am, I fired up my surround sound at maximum volume blaring Marylyn Manson at midnight, and left that running for about 45 minutes.

I think he got the message because it was never a problem again.

Pizza

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I work for an apartment property investment company. A new thing we implemented when looking at properties to buy is we see if we can order pizza to that location. If they won't deliver there, it's not a good area.

Placement Matters

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We made the mistake of a corner lot two blocks from downtown with a stop sign. This a somewhat country town, lots of lifted trucks and ridiculous exhaust pipes. Apparently this is where you can peel out and accelerate to 70 mph to the next stop sign. I'm somewhat used to it now but sheesh that sh!t is obnoxious.

Hot Water

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I always check if the shower is getting hot and has proper flow. I'll never forget living in my first student flat in a cold winter where the shower wouldn't get hot. That was beyond fucking annoying.

Also check for mold.

Roach Poop

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No one seemed to mention this... but as a kid who grew up in a roach infested apartment in a bad area. The first thing I do when looking at a place is go into the cabinets and crevices and check for droppings. Yes roaches leave tons of s***, even if the owner tries to clean it up, if there are bugs you'll eventually find some droppings. As someone who went through that once, forget about noise and water pressure, this is the most important thing to check for.

No Internet? No Lease.

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What your Internet options are.

And I mean really check. Call the ISP, give the full address, maybe even start filling a request and cancel it in the middle just to see if they can reach your area. A month ago I moved into an apartment that seemed fine. I was waiting a month before getting internet just to make sure I could afford it.

The modem gets mailed to me. It was then that I discovered there were no phone jacks in my apartment... except for one, all the way in my bedroom, that was heavily painted over and looked like it was intentionally concealed. Anyways, it didn't work and AT&T had to send a technician. Of course the phone line was shot, and he had to drill a hole in the wall to get a new line through.

But lo and behold, the guy who sold me the service over the phone lied to me about qualifying for service at my address. It's out of range, as the technician tells me. This is all despite the fact that I live in a decently sized populous city and all. The guy on the phone also lied about the speed, as he assured me this speed was good for gaming and streaming, but the technician told me that the speed could only handle light browsing and no streaming.

"Built To Code"

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If your realtor says "built to code", that means they made the building as crappy as legally possible.

Can You Hear Me Now?

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Check the signal on your phone.

Forgot about that with the house we bought 3 years ago. I can maybe get 1 bar if I stand in the doorway of the master bathroom. Ended up getting a microcell booster because we'd like to be able to call 911 in a real emergency. Which will hopefully not happen during a power outage. The house was built with a landline connection, but no telecom companies are servicing landlines anymore. They're only doing internet phones, which will not work during a power outage.

This is in a suburb of Dallas. We're 1.5 miles west from the nearest cell tower, which is oriented North-South. Our subdivision is on a peninsula in a lake.

We really like this house. It's as old as we are, and will need work in the coming years but, it was a great fit for us from the first walkthrough.

Heads Up

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Know Your Landlord!

And know how much notice the landlord has to give before showing up for whatever reason. Ideally, you want an expressed term of time. I had a lease that stated "reasonable" notice and the law only required the same. As a result, my landlord thought four hours notice was reasonable when I wouldn't even get the message of my phone until much later. I thought 24 hours was reasonable.

Another landlord would give... 20 minutes notice? He'd show up to "check the fire alarm," while I or my roommate was in the shower. Happened more than once. Finally, I googled the law and my state requires 24 hour notice. He and his wife were just banking on the idea that we were all dumb kids. I emailed him the law. When I moved out, he screamed at me that I was not a lawyer and can't quote law to him (I was mentioning the fact that they had built a makeshift locked gate on the fire escape - illegal). He also called me despicable. Get that notice in writing. You can ask for changes to leases before you sign.

Petty Neighbors

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If you're in an apartment complex, check that there aren't a million petty signs up in the foyer telling you what you can't do. A few signs about legitimate issues is to be expected, but if you're finding a bunch of notices about things like a bag of trash outside the door for an hour, kids laughing too loud, parking etc. it's a giveaway that your neighbors are gonna be a problem.

Dumpsters

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I'm a paramedic and have been to an untold number of communities ranging from super high-end to complete nightmares. Regardless of the price range of where you are considering go look at the dumpsters. Nothing will tell you more about the community than how the residents treat the dumpster areas. If you are a jerk that has no regard for other people and is okay just slinging your excrement nonchalantly a community of decent people is not for you.

Utilities

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What utilities are included in the rent, not just this but asking what those total costs are.

On average what is the gas, water and electric bill. I rented a place where it wasn't included (which is fine) and the electric bill was insanely high. There was no insulation in walls to keep heat in so furnace was running constantly. I wish I'd asked the costs.

*Another User Responded: *

The first apartment I ever got was with my sister. We lived in a decent two bedroom and our electric bill was crazy high. I just thought it cost that much. Then she moved for a job, I got a smaller one bedroom apartment, and I thought my first electric bill was a mistake. We had been paying about $300/month and my first bill in my new apartment was $25. Well, no, it wasn't a mistake. The old apartment was basically just walls, no insulation at all, and in Louisiana this means the A/C was trying to cool not just the apartment but the whole neighborhood.

Bed Bugs

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Bed bugs. I moved into an apartment, and when a neighbor moved, I got their bed bugs. It's been hellish, costly, and I just moved back into my apartment last week from staying at my parents for a month. Bought a new bed, and guess what? I might still have them. I don't know. It's like A Scanner Darkly, I'm terrified of itching now.

Here's the rage inducing kicker. I told my apartment manager about the issue, in hopes that they would spray or heat treat for them- since it wasn't me that brought them in. Nope. It's on me. Oh, and if I don't get it treated, they will charge me the cost of getting the place treated and possibly take me to court.

You do not ever want to risk getting bed bugs. It has cost me not only thousands of tangible dollars, but also forced me to get rid of just about every single article of clothing I own, many other possessions (bed, couch, etc), and more than a month of my life.

All because my apartment manager was too cheap to properly treat the units.

(Don't) Go West

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Avoid living west of your work if you drive there. Sun in eyes both ways everyday sucks.

More Power

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Count the outlets. Two per room aren't enough! Also, the number of light fixtures. For some reason, where I live most of the apartments do not have light fixtures in the living room and bedroom areas, so if you forget to buy lamps you have to spend the first night in the dark.

Ghosts

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Who are all of the previous tenants? How did they die? How long did they live after moving into this property? Was the property built on sacred land?

Horror movies have totally prepped me for this.

Orange Discoloration

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As an asthmatic currently having a s*** time thanks to this, have a good look at the ceiling corners in your bathroom. Mold might just be orange discoloration, or straight up black fuzzies.

Moving in June, thank Pete.

Indoor Smokers

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If you are a nonsmoker you're going to want to be sure your apartment has either never had a smoker in it or has been properly cleaned since an indoors smoker lived there. If a long-term resident also smoked indoors, the smell will have permeated in to the walls, carpet, and even the cabinets depending on how long they lived there and how heavy they smoked. Make sure the carpets have been professionally cleaned and open cabinets and closets and sniff for smoke smells. If you smell them, minor cases of bad smoke smells can be fixed with a new coat of paint and steam cleaning the carpet.

Curtains Not Included

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I signed for a beautiful condo that had stainless steel everything, very modern, the works. This included floor-to-ceiling windows. Awesome, right? Wrong. This place didn't have curtains included. I'm talking at least 12 ft windows, sun in my eyes, and visible from the bed. The issues here:

1. There are no curtain rods long enough for the width of the windows

2. There are no curtains long enough for the height of the windows

3. Curtains are !@#$ing expensive when you have to have them custom made, including the damn rod. 4. The building could have not allowed modifications to the walls, which means you can't put up curtains (rare, but happens).

Remember: Just because you see it during the open house/showing, doesn't mean it'll be there when you move in.

Should Be Spotless

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As a land lord let me give you this piece of advice when you are looking at apartments. Look. Take a look at every thing from the moment you arrive to the moment you leave. Is the lawn cut? Is the building landscaped? Is the entry way and hall ways clean. Same goes for the apartment, if it's empty it should be spotless. Try every faucet, flush every toilet, make sure there aren't any drips. Are the door knobs loose? Are any of the windows crack/broken. All of these things are indications on how your apartment will be maintained. If the place looks like shit on the outside chances are your LL isn't going to be rushing over to you place to fix a leaky faucet. If an apartment is empty when you view it, it should be perfect and if there is something wrong ask the LL and if they don't say we'll fix it immediately move along

H/T: Reddit

People Explain Which Things From Their Childhood No Longer Exist Today

Reddit user lil-gatorwrangler asked: 'What is something from your childhood that no longer exists now?'

When I was a little girl, I adored the American Girl books. These were books about girls in different historical periods of time in America. They weren't just books, however. There was a lot of American Girl merchandise, including dolls.

I adored the doll I had of Felicity Merriman, my favorite American Girl. A few years ago, I started reading the American Girl books to my cousin. She had her own favorite character, Samantha, and I decided it would be nice to get her a Samantha doll for her birthday. I went to order one only to find out they had archived the dolls of the four original American Girls, including Felicity and Samantha.

Eventually, new versions of the dolls were re-released, but they looked completely different from the characters from the books, which the original dolls captured. These dolls are just one thing that existed in my childhood that no longer exists.

I'm not the only one who has experienced these. Redditors have identified plenty of things from their childhood that no longer exist and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor lil-gatorwrangler asked:

"What is something from your childhood that no longer exists now?"

Breakfast Gifts

"Cool spoons from cereal boxes!!! i miss the color changing and straw ones."

– pompomcinnamon

"Nothing like only buying a box of cereal because of the cool lil gift inside. 🥹"

– lil-gatorwrangler

"This reminds me I haven't seen my Taz spoon in a while. It makes Taz noises when you dip it in milk."

– TransformerTanooki

Family Phones

"Yelling “SOMEBODY GET THE PHONE.”

– Jfonzy

"Adjacent: “Get off the internet! I have to make a phone call!”"

cold_dry_hands

"The ring tone was......the phone."

– DEADFLY6

Slime!

"Nickelodeon game shows. I miss Legends of the Hidden Temple and Guts."

– ShawshankException

"Every time I have to take a headrest out and put it back in my car seat, I pretend I am completing a mission from LotHT."

– ReineDePlatine

Ah, The Book Fairs

"Do you remember filling out book orders when it was time for your school's book fair? :'("

– sn0wballa

"Omg yes!!! And just say dreaming about all the books I could have, if I could afford it lol."

– FlannelPajamas123

"Oh my god the happiest days of my school year."

– clover219

​Cell Phone Plans

"I remember when cell phones were newish and scheduling your calls to after 7 on weekdays and anytime on weekends because nights and weekends were free and didn't count toward your monthly allotment of minutes. You also only had a limited amount of texts per month included in your plan."

–cartertucker

The Old Food Options

"Wendy's salad bar."

– SirBlack_

"Wendy’s 4 for $4. Rip 🥲"

– lil-gatorwrangler

Toy Stores

"KB toys."

– AcademicSavings634

"It always felt so cramped and jam packed full of stuff that every time you went you felt like an explorer."

– MrMojoFomo

"I worked at KB Toys throughout college. Can confirm that cramming stuff in there was a corporate policy, maybe for exactly this reason."

"Had to be careful going exploring though— more than once I found a dirty diaper someone had hidden behind a bunch of Barbies. I feel like everyone should work retail for at least a little while, so they can get a taste for what monsters people really are."

– Engelbettie

"Toys-R-Us. I miss that place. I remember my dad taking me and I’d just wonder through the aisles amazed at all the toys. I got one of my childhood favorite Barbie dream houses there."

– FrostQueen05

A Thousand Words

"Photo Albums. My mother has been cataloging some of the old photos she never got around to putting in albums recently. It is a different experience than looking through someone's phone at curated pictures. You would get the pictures back and 90% of them would go in the album. No editing, no my hair looks like crap. You would find photos of yourself years later that you never knew existed. When your grandparents die and you start looking through albums for their memorial and can reminisce. It is so nice."

– HighFiveYourFace

Christmas Was Never The Same

"I recall hearing about a concept mentioned in movies known as a 'Christmas bonus.'"

– mockhouse

"I actually worked at a place where I got to see the idea of a Christmas bonus die."

"They had, for years, given out a Christmas bonus the 2nd week of December that was a cash bonus equivalent to about 1 week's pay. It wasn't huge but it was just that little extra for people already living paycheck to paycheck to have something to buy the wife and kids some Christmas presents."

"Then one year some dude in management came up with this really awesome idea: Instead of giving each employee a couple hundred dollars in cash we should totally give them a frozen turkey."

"It will be great! everyone needs a frozen turkey for Christmas dinner and we can order a whole semi truck trailer full of of them for a great bulk discount so they only cost like $20 each... employees win and we save money!"

"So that is what the company did."

"Only they did't tell anyone that was what was going to happen until the truck backed into the loading dock and happy managers started handing out frozen chunks of discount birds to people who had been budgeting their entire Christmas shopping on getting the cash instead."

"Christmas morning the owner of the company woke up to find hundreds of rotting turkeys on their front lawn."

"We never got a Christmas bonus again at that company - cash or cold turkey."

– varthalon

MY Personal Info

"Privacy. Mostly in the sense that we didn’t have big Meta mining our data/location/listening."

– ilike2makemoney

Weekend Mornings

"Saturday morning cartoons. Nothing beat the joy of waking up early in Saturday morning to watch five hours of your favorite cartoons, most of which were only on at that time on that day."

– nijaxi4567

"I know what you mean. There are cartoons on Saturday morning but with cable and YouTube and streaming and because those run 24-7, it isn’t an event."

"Few things beat running downstairs, pouring yourself a huge bowl of sugary cereal, and flipping on a full hour of Ninja Turtles, Garfield, Ghostbusters, and topping it off with Saved By the Bell all while your parents slept in."

– vmikey

Movie Night

"Blockbuster movie rental."

– lordharliquin

"Oh. My favorite thing we used to do is we would go to the video store and blindfold one of us and pick out a movie and just watch something random. It was so fun fun!"

– darforce

"I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS!! Those are some of the best memories from my childhood! So much better than Netflix!"

– betaflc

No Streaming

"Yelling "IT'S OOOOOOOON" as your siblings hurtled themselves back into the living room and across the couch after the ad break. That 'will I make it' few minutes of just not knowing if you had time to both pee and ALSO get kitchen snacks, were andrenaline-inducing."

– wildgoats2345

That was me and my brother as we watched Avatar: The Last Airbender. Sometimes, I really miss those days!

car headlights illuminating man in woods
Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash

Humans are inquisitive creatures. We love a good mystery whether it's pure fiction or true crime.

Just check book sale statistics and TV and streaming ratings.

But humans also crave closure which can be why unsolved mysteries capture our attention.

Keep reading...Show less
A woman crying
Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Suicidal Ideation, Violence

It's so hard to know what someone else is thinking or going through.

Even when they tell us, it can be difficult to fathom the feeling without living it ourselves.

Because of this, sometimes a person can really surprise us by saying something we never expected, even the people we love the most in the world.

Redditor i_like_purple clouds asked:

"What is the scariest thing your spouse ever said to you?"

Absolute Nightmares

"'Look at all those snakes on the ceiling!'"

"It was the middle of the night. He was actually fast asleep. There were no snakes."

- morganafiolett

"My ex was an arachnophobe, and my son had a fever dream/nightmare and was very distressed, screaming that he had woken up and seen 'tarantulas' scuttling into the corners of the underside of the upper bunk of his bunk bed."

"I was doing that, 'Honey, you're very sick, and you've been asleep, and I know it feels very real, but I promise you that there are no spiders...' speech when my ex just ran in, scooped up the boy, and hollered, 'F**k that noise, woman! Call me when you've flipped the mattresses!!' and legit ran out of the apartment with kiddo, lol (laughing out loud)."

"This annoyed me to no end at the time, but my son later told me that my ex made him feel very heard."

- kifferella

Their Reason for Living

"'There are times when I only wake up because I know you're here.'"

- Foreveridosyncratic

"Very sweet, but it would break my heart to hear, which is exactly why I don't say it to my husband, even when it feels true."

- Silhouette_Edge

That Familiar Heart Stitch

"'I think I'm having a heart attack.'"

"It was her first panic attack. I broke every law driving her to the hospital. Thankfully she's doing better now."

- HyliaSerket

"I said this to my fiancé last winter after (being in the process of) getting diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia. I woke him up SOBBING in the middle of the night when he was dead asleep and said, 'I think I’m having a heart attack.'"

"Poor guy. It’s insane how a panic attack can mimic a heart attack. My arm even went numb/tingly!"

- SummerSunset8

Truth Mid-Session

"During our first marriage counseling session, we were asked about our goals for this session. She said, 'I don’t want this to work.'"

"And it did not work. That was the end of our marriage. At the time, it was the scariest moment of my life. Today, three years later, I can honestly say neither of us was happy and needed some help."

"Therapy works. Sometimes honesty hurts and revelations are hard."

- ATENFOOTTURD

Always, Always Ask For Help

"'I thought about hanging myself in the garage last night.' That was my husband when he finally told me how bad he was struggling with his mental health."

"I had no idea he was in such a dark place. Hearing that come out of his mouth both scared the s**t out of me and ripped my heart out."

- heyypeach

The Ultimatum

"'If this is what being with you for the rest of my life is going to be like, I want out right now.'"

"This was said six months into my second marriage."

"I finally heard it: that I was damaged and that I needed help."

"I immediately found a therapist and went steadily for 10 years. It was hard as f**k. Lots of uncomfortable times."

"But it changed me. We are together now pretty f**king happily, 23 years with now two amazing kids. S**t doesn’t have to last forever."

- um8medoit

What's with the Lights?

"'All the lights downstairs just went on. There is someone in our house...'"

"I was on a business trip and my wife called me at 3:00 AM. Never felt so helpless in my life."

"She called the police and they searched our home from top to bottom but we never found out who switched on every single light on the ground floor!"

- GnOeLLLmPF

"Our basement was like this. My husband kept blaming me for leaving the light on, but I had stopped going down there because I was pregnant and didn't want to do unnecessary stairs."

"When he, quite upset at me for continuing to do what irked him so much, told me, 'Can you stop leaving lights on, I'm the one who has to pay the power bill,' and I was like, 'Actually, I haven't been down there in weeks.'"

"I assumed the basement was haunted or we had someone secretly living down there (unlikely because we have security set up... And dogs). But it turns out one of the light switches (the type with a dimmer) was just broken. You'd turn it off and leave the room... But then a few minutes later it would short and turn back on."

- evange

Undervaluing Themselves

"At her lowest point of depression, whilst out shopping, with no apparent trigger, she deadpanned, 'You'd be better off if I didn't come home.'

"Fortunately, she got out of that rut, but doesn't remember saying it and how much it terrified me."

- takesbribes

A Secret Life

"I discovered he was addicted to cocaine. It was completely out of the blue. I would have never found out if I hadn’t stained my shirt and had to go home to change and walked in on him snorting a fat rail at 1:39 PM on a random Tuesday."

"I gave him an ultimatum: my support during rehab unconditionally, or we completely part ways if you want to continue snorting coke all day."

"He said, 'The coke, I don’t want to talk to you.'"

"He chose coke and we divorced, and I have no idea whether he is alive or dead. Frankly, the man I married never actually existed. I have such a bad picker I’ve decided to just give up."

- Glldinkiering

"Honestly, bless him for being straightforward and allowing you to get out quickly. He could have taken you through multiple years of hell of trying to get clean and relapsing over and over. Staying home to do lines alone on a random Tuesday is pretty deep in it, so it's a blessing you caught him that day and got out."

- anoidciv

"He also did me a solid by insisting we have a prenuptial agreement which protected me when his @ss was sued into oblivion by his business partners for embezzling money for coke."

- Glldinkiering

Terrible News

"'I've been in an accident...'"

- Ok-Detective-1721

"I’ve been that guy, she happened to call me as I was being lifted into the ambulance with my head smashed after being hit by a car. I had regained consciousness only seconds earlier."

"Somehow I had the presence of mind to phrase it, 'I’m okay, but I have to go to hospital because I’ve had an accident.'"

- lilgreenrosetta

Bad Dreams Love Company

"'Who’s that standing in the corner?' she said at 2:00 AM while sitting up in bed and pointing towards the corner."

"I was still half asleep but freaking out and then she just laid back down and continued sleeping like nothing happened. No one was in the corner."

- futbo2

"One time I got out of bed to use the bathroom, and as I crossed in front of the bed my wife sat up and started screaming like nothing I’ve ever heard."

"I had an injury that has had me sleeping with extra pillows to position my body comfortably since I was early twenties. The pillows made it look in the dark like I was still asleep next to her. So when she saw me crossing in front of the bed, she thought someone had broken in and was in our room."

- PerfectionPending

Unwelcome Houseguests

"She was filling our water bottles before coming to bed and I was just on my phone in bed. I heard her come up the stairs almost like she tripped on the last step because she usually misses that last one."

"Just as I’m getting up to go see if she’s alright, she comes flying through the bedroom door closing it behind her. I never saw her scared like this and I was confused until she said, 'Something just followed me up the stairs.'"

"I nearly s**t myself, that type of fear where tears spring to your eyes and your stomach knots."

"I’m not sure what I would have done if it was just the two of us alone in the house. (There were others, but they were in their room and asleep.)"

"At first, I thought it was the dog, but she confirmed it was very much not. There was nothing there. She claims it was a large black mass behind her that she could hear. We both had a bit of trouble going to sleep that night."

- MonsterMontvalo

"My best friend was at a friend's house and had a dark mass behind him, over his shoulder, and looking down on him."

"In the middle of the night on the way to the restroom, he felt it. He paused for he didn’t know how long, 10 seconds or 10 minutes, he couldn’t say. Then he looked up and saw it in a mirror at the end of the hall. He sprinted to the restroom and stayed there until the sun came up."

"His friend said he looked terrible in the morning and he responded by saying he saw something last night."

"His friend said, 'Oh man, talk to Mom about it.'"

"He told the Mom about the experience, and she asked, 'Was it the light one or the dark one?'

"Dark one. 'Ok good, the light one is mean.' And that’s all that was said."

- M_n_Ms

F**k Cancer

"'I’m tired and want to go home.'"

"He died six hours later, after only fighting cancer for six weeks."

- Bulky-Tomatillo-1705

"She told me, 'I want to die at home.'"

"She had been battling cancer for five weeks and wanted to be home. She had a few weeks with me and died eight weeks after the inital diagnosis. F**k cancer."

- kazz-wizz

Talk... About What?!

"We need to talk when you get home."

"Folks, I spent the next six hours going over every possible thing I could have done wrong to warrant that response. We were in the middle of buying a house and planning our wedding and I thought everything could possibly be crumbling."

"Turns out my darling wife, the love of my life, and my best friend missed the f**king memo of what 'we need to talk' means in a relationship and wanted to talk to me about CARPETING FOR THE HOUSE."

"That conversation happened over a dozen years ago at this point and I still remind her from time to time about how she almost gave me a heart attack."

"To this day, she thinks it's hilarious."

- Trendsa

Brutal, To Be Honest

"Good god, I have to stop reading these. So much heartbreak here."

"It’s good to be reminded to not take things for granted in good times."

- slaphappypap

This conversation was a great example of how little we might know of what's going on in someone's head, even if it's the person we love the most in the world.

But at least in these Redditors' cases, their partners were willing to share this information with them, which gave them an opportunity to make the situation better.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Woman shushing camera by putting a finger to her lips
Kristina Flour/Unsplash

CW: addiction, death, abuse.

Everyone has secrets they'll take with them to their graves.

But some clandestine info is so hard to contain, that it can cause stress and anxiety until some of the pressure is alleviated.

You might be the person who was sworn to secrecy to share some of that burden.

But are you to be trusted to aid your secret-sharer in keeping their secrets?

Curious to hear from strangers online who have a tough time keeping some of the most jaw-dropping intel to themselves, Redditor HardDeep69420 asked:

"What's the most shocking secret someone has revealed to you?"

Knowing that a friend or family has suffered has haunted these Redditors.

A Painful Truth

"In the 70’s, my cousin died in a car crash that caught fire. I was very afraid that he was awake and felt the fire. My parents said he died immediately and didn’t suffer. My mother was on hospice at home in 2011. She told me the firemen were trying to open the doors and My cousin and the other teens were screaming for help when the cars caught fire. There were no survivors and my Aunt was never the same. It wasn’t until after his death that the jaws of life were distributed to our rural departments."

– Tkay906363

A Tough Call

"When I was 11 I had a friend reveal that her stepmother was abusing her... she made me promise not to say anything to my mom or any other adult. I agreed, we had weekly therapy sessions with a guidance counselor if you wanted it so it was my day to go and I just felt like I needed to tell… so I did. The counselor ended up reporting it and CPS got involved and my friend was made to live with her mother. She was so angry at me for telling but I felt it in my soul that I should. We are still friends to this day.. both of us 29 years old."

– SubstantialLove8330

"Sometimes you have to decide between your friend and your friendship. It sounds like you made the right choice."

– ALawful_Chaos

The Evil Of Addiction

"That he watched his son die of an overdose and didn’t do anything to help. He told me that his son had battled addictions for many years and that he had called an ambulance in the past when his son had overdosed, but that he thought it was better this time to 'just let him go since he made his choice.'"

– Ok-Associate-7894

The Ex And Her Health Issue

"I had an old girlfriend who was coming to Florida and wanted to hang out with me and my wife, she brought her mom, who I knew pretty well. A great dinner, drinks, fun stories, then when my ex went to the bathroom, the mom told me she (the ex) was dying of cancer. (I had No idea). It was sad, but yet felt so good she wanted to hang out. She died within a year. We were probably 35 years old at the time."

– waistingtoomuchtime

"You know..people will read this and grasp the sadness of the end but, on the other hand, your ex reached out and wanted to share some of her remaining time with you ..and your wife...clearly, your time together was special to her regardless of how it ended. You still had a warm place in her heart for you. That's actually quite awesome. I know you know that. Your wife is very lucky."

– Impressive-Doughnut7

Life will never be the same after Redditors found out about these long-hidden family secrets.

What The Fork?!

"When I was 16, my Mom announced at dinner that her sister was coming for a visit next week. I dropped my fork and said 'YOU HAVE A SISTER?'”

–Initial_lampwick115

"I had this: age 11 driving up to Scotland with my parents and we stopped off at a tiny town, walked into the big hotel, then got introduced to my uncle. My mum's brother. Hadn't existed before then and only came out of the woodwork because my grandpa died shortly before (they didn't get on). It was a weird shock but also an 'OK cool, life goes on' moment."

– slinkychameleon

Extended Family

"I'm 56 now but at some point in my early 40s while driving with my dad he says 'you have a half brother somewhere.'"

– ridobe

"My dad pulled this sh*t on me when I went to my grandfather's celebration of life. Picked me up from the train station, asked me if I knew about his new wife (I did) and their daughter, born six years before my mom died of cancer (they never divorced). Then had the guts to follow it up with a request to FaceTime them that night because they wanted to meet me, because "[he] never kept his family a secret... from them." It took a while for me to get over that."

– toujourspret

Invisible Husband

"I found out my mother and father were not divorced. He never existed. She had a one-night stand, found out she was pregnant, bought a wedding ring, changed her name, and told the family that she had gotten married. She made up excuses every time she went to my grandparent's house as to why her husband couldn’t also be there to meet them. On the 3rd visit, my grandfather told her never to wear that ring in his house again and when is the baby due? I’m 53."

– Traditional_Jicama72

Why The Nun Made Weekly Visits

"I found out my parents weren't married when I was 14, and my parents had a massive row after my dad was caught by the police with a sex worker. My mum blurted it out to me along with the reason why they were arguing. I'm 50. Up til then, they pretended.. when my Catholic secondary school asked for a marriage certificate as part of my screening for the school, they sent a letter to the priest confidentially... I still got in. Explains why from birth until 11, a Catholic nun would visit my parents every weekend, probably to ensure my soul was intact, lol."

– PidginPigeonHole

Things get sinister.

A Murder Confession

"Casually dropped they’d killed someone then got really quiet about it. Like, sad quiet. Sounds like there was a case surrounding the ordeal but could never get them to talk about it more and I didn’t want to push."

– lil-kingtrashm0uth

Dodging A Bullet

"My ex casual dropped he killed someone also. He was a lot more loud about it when he was upset with me though. 'I’ve killed for less'. I know the whole story, or both of them. The one he tells people, and the one he told me. Either way. He’s a scary man, and I would never wish to be near him again."

– Skyecatcher

One of the hardest positions to be in is when a friend tells you that they've cheated on their significant other, whom you also know.

This happened to me.

Keeping the privileged information was agonizing as I feigned ignorance whenever I hung out with the couple or with the person who had been cheated on.

Eventually, the pair broke up as the affair came to light through no involvement by me.

The truth always has a way of surfacing, after all.

Would you rely on that to happen, or would you intervene?

When is it okay to betray the person who entrusted you with their secret?