Realistic Movie Buffs Imagine How Popular Movies Would've Ended If Characters Acted Rationally
Moviegoers share a dark secret when they go to watch films. From a dark, hidden corner of their hearts, they want the main characters and heroes of cinema to make terrible, not-well-thought-out decisions. By choosing to go into the dark basement alone or not call for backup even though everyone on the planet has a phone on them, will make the story more engaging. Sometimes, though, it seems like the call was made to have a character make the wrong choice because if a character made the right choice, the movie would have ended. That's what Reddit user, r/danbrownskin, wanted to find out when they asked:
What movie would have ended too soon if a character acted rationally?
People = Dinosaur Chow
Jurassic World - I don't know where the dinosaur is so I'm going to casually look around his pen in person. And don't bother with a service entrances or anything, the large gate that can let the dinosaur out will work fine.
You CHOSE To Go To High School?
16 year old girl finds out her biology partner is a 150 year old vampire who has been stalking her. Runs fast and far.
Alternately, 17 year old dude becomes immortal. Chooses to do literally anything besides repeat high school forever.
The True Threat Of The 'Alien' Franchise Is Dumb Humans
Don't defy the "don't land in this storm" advice of the AI that's designed to be a billion times better than you in this one specific task of navigating; don't take off your helmet on a strange planet; don't trust an android that's surrounded by a city of corpses.
The Fault in Disney
"You can't marry a guy you just met"
"Actually, yeah Elsa, you do bring up a good point. Hans, I'm not ready for this commitment yet, I'm sorry."
Nothing Wrong With This Except Everything
50 Shades of Grey
'I'm bad for you Ana' 'Ok cool, have a good life'
'I'm into BDSM' 'I'm a virgin, see ya later'
I could go on...
There's Always Time To Stop And Eat
If the original driver in Talladega Nights didn't decide to get a chicken sandwich halfway through the race we would have never gotten to see Ricky Bobby go fast
Rule #4: Never Buy A Gremlin
Don't buy some weird creature with apparently very specific rules (which the consequences of breaking are never explained) from the shopkeeper's son AFTER the shopkeeper specifically says it's not for sale.
Well at least don't act surprised when they go on to destroy an entire town.
More, Poor Dinosaur Chow
I guess the movie wouldn't have exactly ended...but I always thought Dennis Nedry would have gotten away with it if he just didn't drive like an idiot to the dock in Jurassic Park.
Then We Would Never Have Known His Name...
Not a movie, but Breaking Bad would have ended in first episode if Walt swallowed his pride and took the money he was offered.
It Really Tied The Room Together
The Big Lebowski, if that Asian dude didn't pee on the rug it would have ended right there.
Thank god he did though.
A New Hope Would've Become A Terrible Choice
Star Wars A New Hope.
"Blast the escape pod just in case since droids wouldn't give off life signs"
Learn To Mind Your Own Business
If the police chief wouldn't have been such an ass and accepted Rambo passing through his city, it would've made the movie like 30 min long.
Always Blame The Maid
On the night the puppies are born, Cruella comes to purchase them, only to find that they have no spots. "Mongrels! No spots! The devil take them!" she shouts. The housekeeper counters "they'll get their spots, you'll see!" If she had just kept her damn mouth shut, Cruella would not have bothered to steal the puppies. Pongo and his family would live happily ever after. Things would not end so well for the other 84 dalmatian puppies that were bought and paid for.
Is Voldemort Truly That Evil?
Voldemort could've punched that baby straight in the face and the movie would be done.
Chocolate Makes The Mind Go Mad
Strangely enough, Willy Wonka & the chocolate factory would have been a lot longer if the characters had acted rationally. "Oh, you're all good kids, erm, I'll have to think longer about this....."
No More Motion Sickness
The Blair Witch Project.
"Let's go in the woods and see if there's a witch"
"Ok you know what. Nevermind"
Call The Locksmith!
If Newt had fixed the lock on his suitcase the minute he saw it was broken
Moral Of The Story? Always Go To The Bar
Wreck-it Ralph could have been over a lot faster if Ralph had decided to not go try to win a medal, but instead just spend some time at the bar. The result would be the same - the other characters realize that without him, they don't have a game, so maybe they shouldn't be d-cks.
Maybe Let Your Mom Know?
If the main character decided to let someone know where he was hiking, go with a friend or not act like a goddamn idiot he would have kept his damn arm.
But, What About The Midichlorians?
Star Wars would have been very different if everyone stuck with their gut and left Anakin alone.
"This kid had a very abnormal birth. His power levels look like they could be off the chart. Still, he is not interested in that. He just wants to be a pod racer and an engineer. How about we leave him alone and let him be the tech nerd he wants to be..."
The Problem With Every Horror Movie...
"Is that a blade I hear scraping the wall and coming towards me in a eerie slow pace...?"
"Better go check it out and say hi."
The Problem With Every Romantic Movie...
Basically every romance movie ever made. They fall in love, they miscommunicate or misunderstand and thus break apart. OH NO! Why not talk it out like adults? Because then the movie would end after the first 30 mins.
And The Man That Started It All...
They're not movies, but basically any Shakespeare play:
Othello- just talk to your wife and sort things out
Macbeth- they're witches, don't listen to them
Romeo and Juliet- plan this s--t out together before you do pretend to kill yourselves Etc