Much like a housecleaning effort on Facebook, there comes a time when we are forced to make the tough decision to end friendships and/or relationships.
Some people can weigh us down and prevent us from being the best version of ourselves, or others can be so toxic, that it's better to just cut our losses.
It's not always an easy decision to make, but downsizing can be the best-case scenario.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor NecessaryJacket4051 asked:
"People who have cut other people out, what was the final nail in the coffin?"
Friends can gradually grow distant, or be completely annoying.
Too Needy
"A friend I had in high-school and college became incredibly needy. We went to two different universities and lived in two different states and made a deal to call each other every week to catch up. They started to make poor decisions in their post-grad life which became an endless 'am I the a**hole' conversation where I became their confessor and forgiver but was never able to share anything about my own life."
"Things became bad for me, but despite me being there constantly for them, they couldn't return the favor. It came to a point where I got sick, missed one of their phone calls and they started to call me incessantly while I slept. The kind where they call you 20 times in a 5 minute span and leave messages from caring and concern 'hey where are you?' to 'I hate you, you don't care about me!' crap."
"Anywho, I was given the ultimatum of either never speaking to them again or calling them back and begging for forgiveness. Easiest choice I ever made. 8+ year friendship gone in an instant and I never once felt bad or looked back."
– Feralbritches1
The Guilt Trip
"My first year of university I found out my mum had a lesion in the centre of her brain and the amount of fluid and pressure on her skull required immediate treatment. She was in hospital recieving treatment for weeks while I tried to navigate my studies and living away from home for the first time. I was a mess of anxiety and stress for months."
"During this time one of my very close friends continually got angry at me for not giving her enough attention despite never contacting me to check on my mothers situation or how I was coping. But I was expected to check in on her constantly and initiate all contact. I just deleted her number and unfriended her."
– riarum
The Reluctant Chauffeur
"A friend asked me to drive him to a party."
"The party was at least a 4 hour drive (two states away), he couldn't pay for gasoline, and the hosts might give me a place to sleep. I was a college student who could barely afford gas to get to school."
"Everything about this sounded shady and one-sided, especially when he blew-off my questions. We didn't talk after that phone call - and nothing of value was lost."
"This happened in the early 90s, so no modern trip planning was available. No GPS, no Mapquest, and cellphones were expensive to use."
– siege72a
Dealing with inheritance can sure bring out the ugly in people.
Greedy Relatives
"When my relatives on my mom’s side of the family not only took every possession she owned except some of her clothes, but also wanted to take my mom’s social security benefits after she passed away from cancer."
"My youngest sibling was only 12/13 when she passed so those benefits would help my dad raise my sibling. My relatives didn’t think my dad was a good father ever since my mom and dad divorced (mom cheated on my dad)."
"My uncle threatened to come over to our state to kick my husband’s a** and call the cops on me when I managed to get my mom’s SS funds transferred to my dad."
"Edit to add: To this day, I don’t know where my mom is buried as her family took her ashes and didn’t tell either me, my siblings, or my dad the location of her gravesite."
– Soggy_Willingness_65
Annoying Half-Sisters
"After our father died, my two half sisters started harassing my one full sister about the inheritance. She was the one left in charge of it all, but was taking his death the hardest and having trouble getting through the paperwork."
"They were ruthless and made her feel horrible when she was already struggling. At the same time they would turn around and be totally nice to me because I’m the baby of the family and (despite me also being an adult at the time) they didn’t want to 'get me involved.'"
"Once the estate was settled I cut them out of my life completely. I’ll never forgive them for how they treated my other sister, and over money. Our father would be ashamed."
– TonyDanzer
When your spouse isn't appreciated by family, who should you be most loyal to?
These Redditors had to make a decision that was actually very easy.
Toxic Family
"My mother, brother, and sister are all incredibly toxic people, but I never cut them out 'because they're family.' Then the sh*t really hit the fan when I was getting married. At our Jack&Jill party, my mother was taking tons of pictures (as expected), but they were of me and my brother, me and my dad, just me, me my brother and my dad, etc. She didn't want my wife in any of them. I spoke up and said that my future wife should be in these pictures. It's her wedding day too. My wife, who was understandably upset, walked away from the weird photography session."
"My wife and I decide to go to the backyard area and hang out with her cousin and step brother. My cousin and his gf join us. Things get more fun, we're joking around, and having a good time. Then my mom and brother come outside extremely drunk (it was like 3 PM). My mom starts by taking more pictures without the bride in them, so I speak up again. My mom shushes me and slaps the back of my head. My wife then says my mom can enjoy her little family reunion photos and then goes back inside. I follow to make sure she's okay."
"I get in conversation with her, her mom, aunt, and other family members of hers. We calm down and move on. We talk about getting ice cream at a place down the street. I go back outside to ask people if they want to get ice cream (as most weren't causing issues, just my mom and brother). Before I say anything, my very drunk brother starts shouting 'f*** your wife, f*** her family, and began charging at me, but was caught by my dad and cousin who held him back. He was of course kicked out. My mom left with him in tears. My dad (my parents are divorced and don't associate with each other at all) apologized to everyone and left out of embarrassment."
"Wedding day comes. My brother is no longer my best man and is not invited. My sister is here from the other side of the country. The ceremony goes perfectly. My sister refuses to attend the pictures being taken of family and wedding party outside. During the reception, my wife, friends, some of my wife's family, and I are busy dancing on the dance floor. We notice my sister crying and walking around from table to table. We ignore it; as we expected her to try something dumb at our wedding. We find out from someone that my sister was trash talking my wife in the bathroom. We don't want to deal with drama on our big day, so we have the person in charge of the wedding hall/supervising the reception staff talk to her about her behavior (she told us we could during the wedding planning process). My sister freaks out and acts all offended. She and my mom then stage a walk out protest of our wedding, taking a large majority of my aunts, uncles, and cousins with them (not all thankfully)."
"To this day (it's been 4 years), I haven't spoken to anyone who walked out."
– Davidt93
Ruined Wedding
"I got married like 2 Weeks ago and had something similar happens except I was in the position of you're wife. I had never expected to have to hide in a room and cry on my wedding day. Truly some horrible people."
– jellybeansonmygrass
The Father Who Wasn't
"I cut my biological dad completely off because he just didn't try."
"When I was younger I cut contact with him because he didn't believe me when I told him his new wife was abusing me and my sister. I petitioned for my parents' custody agreement to be changed and everything to protect me and my sister. We didn't see him again as minors."
"When we were adults he reached out to me and expressed regret at not being there for us and wanted to reconnect. We (me, sister, and him) met for dinner twice and then he just started not showing up. I stopped telling my sister we were even supposed to be meeting him because she was so disappointed that he flaked and just took her out myself, knowing he wouldn't show. I told him after like the fifth time that he clearly didn't care enough to even let us know he wasn't gonna show so I wanted nothing to do with him. He replied in some apologetic way but I left him on read."
"Fast forward about six years. I got married and my husband has a lot of regrets about his estranged father dying before they could reconnect, so I reached out to my bio dad again. No plans were made to meet but we did chat occasionally. Until it became just me initiating conversation and him not ever reaching out to me first. I stopped sending him messages about five months after I got married. I've been married three years and haven't heard from him even once since."
"I guess TLDR the final straw was me realizing I was always gonna put more effort in for a relationship that I didn't need."
– Odd-Astronaut-92
No Time For Nastiness
"I finally cut my father's wife out of our lives after my wife and I had our first child. I was able to put up with her nastiness growing up, but the second I saw that nastiness get directed towards my kid, it was over."
"My decision was further solidified when I found out she texted me from my Dad's phone, pretending to be him and unbeknownst to him, saying we should invite her to my kid's birthday party and make amends. She also made a giant scene a few years later at my Grandmother's wake."
– MarcableFluke
Just because you're bound by blood, it doesn't mean families always have your back.
Spreading Lies
"She went around to myself (transman, closeted at the time), her brother, her uncle, and several friends of ours, accusing several of us of sexually abusing her. It caused several violent interactions and broken friendships, until people finally got to talking and realized she was giving the same lists of people minus whoever she was making the accusations to at the time."
– Astrises
Despicable Sister
"My sister tried to pull that same sh*t with my family and I disowned her over it. I noticed the pattern when I talked to people about how those accusations came about and discovered she was always upset over some trivial bullsh*t either when she said it or immediately before she said it."
"My mom doesn't understand why it's still 'such a big deal' to me, she 'apologized' for it (to some of the people she told the lies to, not to anyone she told the lies about). She never accused me that I know of, but it wouldn't surprise me to hear that she did."
– [deleted]
The Final Straw
"My parents are divorced and my brother and I were raised by our mom. My dad paid $100 month, for 2 kids, in child support until we were adults. Mom let him pay that little."
"My brother died in an automobile accident at age of 20. Everyone came to the funeral, including my dad. At the funeral, I overheard him talking to the other parents of the kids who were in the accident. My brother was the only fatality. He was about talking getting lawyers and who he was going to sue. Totally inappropriate behavior at a funeral considering he made very little effort at being a father while we were growing up."
"He had a life insurance policy on my brother and myself. He cashed it in and volunteered to take care of my brother's grave stone. 9 months had passed and he still hadn't done anything except place the order. My mom ended up driving 5 hours to get the grave marker and paid for it."
"But, the final straw for me was when he asked my mom for a refund on the child support that he paid on my brother over his life. My mom paid him which she should never had done."
"He died last year from COVID. I have no regrets that he never met his only 2 biological grandchildren. For all I know, he would have taken life insurance policies out on them hoping to cash in."
"I went to the graveside funeral, left and drove 5 hours to get back home. I'm still blown away by all the wonderful things people were saying about him at the funeral. I didn't know that person."
– RatHumped
For some, cutting someone out of their lives is not a difficult decision to make when it's your mental well-being that is suffering.
Forget about keeping up with appearances. Looking out for yourself and your loved ones by permanently disassociating from toxic people is a no-brainer.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIFGiphyRetracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIFGiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIFGiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.
Who doesn't love a first date?
The anticipation. The hopes and dreams. The romance.
Even those first-date butterflies are fun.
You're hoping this could be the one.
Or maybe this will just be a lot of fun.
Then you sit down with one another and they open their mouth and BOOM... dating disaster.
Life is ruined. Or maybe you were saved.
Redditor MiloMilkOnDrugs wanted to hear about the conversations that can ruin a romantic time, so they asked:
"What's the worst thing someone can say on a first date?"
Having worked as a waiter as long as I did, I can't tell the things I've overheard without fainting.
I'll just say... sometimes it's okay to stay single.
Promises
Players Association Sport GIF by NBPAGiphy“'I need you to promise not to tell my wife.'"
FriendNegative6013
Honk Off
"My cousin (F) went on a first date where in the middle of the conversation, her date reached over and squeezed her breast and said 'Honk.'"
"She said 'What on earth do you think you're doing?'"
He said 'I've had quite a lot of success with that move.'"
"There was no second date. My cousin was the girl. I realized from a comment it was ambiguous."
blu3teeth
Circa 2005
"My mother was freshly divorced and we signed her up on a dating website (circa 2005) Helped her take pictures etc..."
"She met this guy online real smart, seems to have his sh*t together, independent, etc..."
"They set a date at a local restaurant they park side by side."
"The moment she greets him he says: WOW I love those big boobs I can't wait to taste them!"
"She 180° stepped back in her Mazda 3 and f**ked the right off this parking lot lol."
mageakeem
Safety First
"Does anyone know you're here?"
Baby-hazell
"It's a safety thing. Sometimes, people let others know where they'll be before meeting a stranger for a date. However for him to ask can be seen as a little creepy like he would be planning to do something to them and would need to know that info so he can figure out how long she'll be gone before the police are called. If that makes sense."
Hachiko75
Previously...
canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy"I was on a date once, the woman apologized before looking a bit rough because she had just had sex before coming."
REDDIT
What happened to putting your best foot forward?
My goodness, it's not that hard to at least run a brush through your hair.
Mirror Mirror
"'My ex looks way better than you.'"
Academic_Ingenuity84
"What a coincidence. My ex looks way better than you."
"Maybe they can get together and leave us ugly fools to mope about it together."
LurkerOrHydralisk
Oh Baby
"After pulling her chair out for her, you pet her head then rub her belly saying 'I’m gonna put a baby in here.'"
BuffaloInCahoots
"Ha, can you imagine, being a proper gentleman and then ending with a head pat and belly rub?"
phillmybuttons
"I once had a guy tell me on the first date he wanted to have at least six children. I heard later from his sister he married a woman who was already pregnant with someone else's kid, and he had her pregnant again within the year."
ashoka_akira
Family Dynamics
"'You remind me of my mom.' Bonus points if there is this weird attraction component to it."
Kiunan5
"My partner went on a date with a young woman shortly before we met, he said she repeatedly compared him to her father ('my dad drinks scotch', 'my dad is also bald,' etc). He said no amount of attraction could save the date after that."
Digital_Punk
"Oh God, I'm guilty of this one. It wasn't a date. but I told that to a woman I tried bedding later on. Honestly, she didn't look like my mom i was just shooting my shots at trying to keep her around."
Bobtheguardian22
Be Serious
Shouting The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"I went to a nice French bistro in the Bay Area, there was a table right behind me and the friend dining. The guy literally said to the girl 'I am the alpha of this relationship.' (in a serious manner). Me and buddy sort of looked at each other while the girl literally burst out laughing, grabbed her bag, and then walked out of the restaurant."
295DVRKSS
It feels like some men have no one to bounce conversation ideas off of.
Or do they really believe what they say?
