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People Who Know Someone Who Was Murdered Explain What Happened

For most people, until it happens to someone they know or have some connection with, murder seems far away, relegated to local news broadcasts and true crime pop culture.

But it does occur, and it spans the spectrum from sensational and movie-like to unnervingly mundane.


Crowd-sourced forums on the internet remind how unique the capabilities of the internet are. A simple question on Reddit gives readers a vast trove of real-life examples of the most difficult topics to discuss.


For one Redditor, that topic was murder. They wanted to know, when it happens, what the motive was, how it happened, and the ramifications.

According to these responses, murder is often a fit of realistic emotional rage, and almost never does the person get away with it. It's the ultimate mortal act and it can never be taken back.

The details of these accounts illustrate that dynamic at play.

Mystik-Palace asked, "Redditors who know somebody who got murdered, what happened?"

Career Change

"Two children I babysat twice along with a friend (their usual babysitter) were abducted and murdered by their father. I stuck with dog walking after that." -- runwhiterabbit

Neighbor Danger

"My cousin was murdered by a teen male. They lived in the same condo complex and he broke into her place and stabbed her repeatedly."

"His motive was not entirely clear, he liked my cousin and she was apparently polite but not interested in him. He was sentenced to 25 years and comes up for parole every few years."

"Every parole hearing causes my aunt and uncle a lot of stress, but he gets denied every time."

-- koshimonkey

Euthanasia, or Foul Play?

"I was doing private care giving for a gentleman who had ALS. Went to his house for work one day and found he had passed away."

"Initially I thought the disease had gotten the best of him because of its rapid progression, but turns out he was killed via asphyxiation by his wife and her lover."

-- ArmaBlanka

The Forgotten Kind

"Her name was mouse, she was a homeless girl living in Santa Cruz who I would talk to at the local cafe. Our town is known for its spontaneous murder sprees, many murders occur along highway where the homeless live.

"Two summers ago, 9 homeless people were killed along highway 9 and it never aired on the news, typical. She was one of them."

-- mmancub

Waves Were Made

"When my cousin was six years old, her father shot her mother to death in the garage of their house. We lived in a tiny, tiny town of under a thousand people, so it was a huge deal." -- THATSWHATSHESAID1313

People Break Down The Best Purchases They've Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Liquid Courage Confession

"Had a good friend of mine back in high school pass due to a 'drug overdose.' "

"Turns out the friends he was hanging out with gave him a more than lethal dose of heroin after they beat him unconscious for apparently talking to one of their girlfriends."

"Was only found out years later when that person got drunk and decided to let that little known fact slip. Currently serving a life sentence."

-- Cuppycakesterr

Crimes of Passion, a Common Theme

"A friend of ours was shot to death by the ex-boyfriend of his new girlfriend. He was still holding the flowers he had bought her."

"It was just so needless and stupid. And he terrorized him for a bit before killing him. I mean really dude you think you kill the good guy so she'll come running back to the psychopath?"

-- VintageLilly317

Mortally Possessive

"I didn't hear about it until after the fact, but apparently he'd been complaining to people that his mom was acting weird that week and had dropped his cat (?) off at the animal shelter without warning and stuff like that."

"She drove him up to the local mountain a few days later and shot him in the back while he was taking in the view, then shot herself. All just so her husband couldn't get full custody of their son."

-- frenchmeister

"Domestic Dispute," the Real Life Loose Cannon

"I knew a woman my entire life who went to her sister's home to calm a domestic dispute and was shot by the brother in law. Extremely tragic." -- cathtray

"I've heard that domestic violence calls are the police's least favorite kind of call, because of how volatile the people involved are." -- OMEGA_AS_F*CK

Disproportionate Punishment

"My wife's cousin was killed by a dude who had stopped to ask him and his friend for directions. They got lippy and pissed off the dude. He drives away but comes back and shoots them both."

"He turns himself in and at first tells the cops it was self defense. But they were shot in the back, so it was clear that they had been trying to get away. He ended up pleading guilty."

-- RussBof6


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Red Flags That Signal Someone Wasn't Raised Right

"Reddit user spirallinggg asked: 'What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?'"

Two young boys are having a pillow fight
Photo by Allen Taylor

Parents are meant to teach offspring how to survive in this world.

They're meant to guide us on how to be a good member of society.

But either some parents fail, or too many adults don't get the message.

And all that can lead to a mighty dysfunctional adult.

Redditor spirallinggg wanted to hear about the ways we can decipher if others have bad parenting, so they asked:

"What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?"

Basic human decency is a sign of a good upbringing.

Garbage

"They throw trash out a car window."

shershae

"I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month."

Pinkmongoose

Random Aisles

"People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles."

glockops

"I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone who ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which is made-to-order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take-and-bake pizzas we have."

"I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (the last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered."

weedtrek

Be Responsible

"Lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."

Sona-kin

I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are... but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc."

nakedwithoutmyhoodie

Rude

Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy

"When they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back."

flowerzforthedead

THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the backs of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their lives. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you MF.

Cold-Load-4388

If you can't say it to their face, then don't say it.

Why do people have to crap talk?

Check Please

Escalate Customer Service GIF by FILMRISEGiphy

"Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time and place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using 'please' and 'thank you' seems beyond some people. Bums me out."

CaptainLawyerDude

Others

"Lack of consideration for others."

NewVAinvestor1

"A lot of people do not fundamentally understand other people exist. They understand things exist. They understand those things should be referred to as people. But they do not understand those things have an entire existence and experience all their own exactly like them."

Sh3lls

No!

"When they can't take no for an answer."

NerdyPlaneResident

"I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time, I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, and then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning."

SergeantPsycho

Professions

"When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers."

Leekayleigh_

"Oh yes. My husband took on a second job doing pizza deliveries. A few people laughed at him doing that at his age. They don't laugh when he explains his main job is simple and, deliveries are just driving blasting tunes and adds $900 a month after tax to our income. Then they see all the travel. Usually shuts them up."

CurvePuzzleheaded361

Offensive

For Real Wow GIF by DeStormGiphy

"Zero manners."'

Fuzzteam7

"I took a guy to a family beach condo because he says he never goes to the beach. Let him tag along with our group. Never said thank you one time. I dropped him back off at his house, and I said can you at least say thanks, he was so offended I asked or was trying to force a thank you."

berrey7

"BUT"

"When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added 'But you guys need to understand that I'm a no-bulls**t kind of person.' No sir, that's not how apologies work."

GimmickInfringement1

I hate a BUT.

Either you mean what you offer or don't say it.

man and woman together with boy and girl looking at green trees during day

Ioann-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash

Parenting isn't a simple job.

The health, safety and well-being of another human being is on the line. Eventually that human will enter society with all the lessons or traumas of their childhood shaping them.

That's a lot of responsibility.

But even the most well-meaning parents can mess up.

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People on a date
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

Though we mean nothing by it, there's no denying the fact that there are some characteristics, personality types, and behaviors that we find to be a total turn-off when it comes to dating.

The difficult part, though, is that what we find to be unattractive might be an unusual or unexpected thing to point out to someone else. To each their own, right?

Curious about what others' expectations were, Redditor DawnOfLegion1 asked:

"What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?"

Similar Intelligence

"He should be as smart as or smarter than me."

"There's no bigger turnoff than a guy who is noticeably dumber and there's nothing hotter than a guy who is particularly intelligent."

- _hootyowlscissors

"I'll second this. If he's slightly less intelligent, I can deal with it (although it IS a turnoff), but I've had friends date hot dumb guys, and I never got the appeal. At all. Even if the guy was sweet, I just kept thinking I would feel like I was messing with the village id**t. Not my thing at all."

- LeRuseRenard

Completely Available

"I require my date to be single. Not 'we have an understanding', not 'she doesn't understand me', and not 'we're separated and neither of us can afford an apartment on our own.' SINGLE. Not married."

"The last time a guy told me that his wife was okay with it, I told him that I wanted to hear those words from his wife. Never talked to him again."

- INobodyisme

Mind the Rules

"No getting up at 6:00 AM to do CrossFit."

"No drinking and driving."

"No crazy ex that seems to hang around with them a lot."

- Haelifae

One Word: Reciprocity

"Not a requirement, but if I paid for dinner, you paying for two ice creams or coffees isn’t all that bad."

- Soup_and_Rice

"Reciprocity."

"The older I get, the more I realize how important it is that they put in as much effort as I am."

"It doesn't have to be the same thing, have your own style; but I can't be doing all the work, all the time."

"This is with money (buy me dinner sometimes, offer to get my drink), sex (I can be a little more dominant, but you have to initiate sometimes, you have to be into it, I can't do all the work), romance or intimacy (reach out and grab my hand to walk, touch my back sometimes), or communication (text me first just to check in, for once)."

- TheLateThagSimmons

Weird Requirement: Weird

"She must be weird. And I mean truly, the kind of weird that makes other men run away."

- Vamluck

Just Equally Weird

"They have to be a little bit pervy and a little bit weird."

- CherryApple89

"When I was younger, if I was at the bar and there was a guy I thought might be fun to talk to, I would walk up and in the sexiest voice, I would tell them they have the hottest knees I have ever seen on a man."

"10 seconds flat, I would know whether they were someone I wanted to get to know. So I think I have the weird thing down."

- Dull-Geologist-8204

The Importance of Quiet Time

"I wanna be able to just chill with them doing nothing. I've been with someone who always had to be doing something and it got exhausting really fast."

- Shatteredfart

Seems Fair

"Not currently recovering from something."

"All tattoos must be spelled correctly."

"Employed."

"Four-tooth minimum."

- Mohawk60

Staying on Equal Footing

"Not sure how weird it is, but my rule is that I pay for myself every step of the way until we decide to become a couple."

"After that, we can split the bills, or take turns treating each other, etc., if that is what we both choose."

"Too many times I let a guy buy me dinner, and it is somehow implied that I now owe him something. Nope. All done with that."

- One-Internet-1982

"As a man, I have a lot of respect for that. I don't mind paying for dates and such, but I always get a bit of an icky feeling when the woman expects or demands it."

"I prefer more of an equal partnership rather than old-school gender roles, and stuff as basic as, 'Hey, you paid for the last date, let me get this one,' goes such a long way, and I feel like it also shows genuine interest from the other person."

- CaptainFresh27

Willing to Try New Things

"No picky eaters. It’s okay if you’re not a foodie, but I like to cook, and if you won’t give my food a chance, it’s not gonna work out."

- Pandaburn

A Lover of Drama

"If your profile says, 'No drama, please,' I immediately assume you are the drama or are too immature to handle life’s normal ups and downs and consider that to be drama."

- WillowWispWhipped

Intense Passion

"I love it when they have a hyper fixation."

- Unlikely-Base-4989

"The ADD/ADHD community loves you back."

- YakitoriChicken93

Knowing Your Own Limits

"No horse girls."

"I've got nothing against it, but it’s always very important to them and I’m too terrified of horses to be properly supportive, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Former-Finish4653

What's in a Name?

"They cannot have the same name as my sister or my mom."

"Alternatively, my name is unisex and a girl with my name is a turn on."

- Smellymyhand

Quite the Commitment

"I've decided that anybody I plan to spend my life with has to be willing to buy and ride a tandem bike with me."

- Sheepherder_7648

Despite the prompt being "weird requirements," some of these make a lot of sense, and more people might be adding these to their list of requirements after reading this.

But others are slightly more unexpected and likely fall under the "to each their own" category.

People on a busy street
Photo by Jason Wong on Unsplash

We all find ourselves having an unexpected run-in with someone we know on the street every now and then.

In some cases, it's a pleasant surprise and plans are immediately made to catch up.

In other cases, you dig out the first excuse you can to keep on moving, as this particular individual was not someone you hoped would re-enter your life.

Then, of course, there are the times you run into an ex.

Whether you ended things amicably or acrimoniously, it's always going to be an awkward encounter.

Just how awkward it will be, however, depends on your reaction.

Redditor rageondad was curious to hear how people would react if they unexpectedly saw their ex on the street, leading them to ask:

"You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?"

Nothing But Happy Memories...

"1st ex: say hi, nice conversation."

"All good."

"2nd ex: hide from her again, like I did that one time at the gas station."- jfg1435

Who?

"Ignore him because he’s not worth saying hi to."

"And I wouldn’t care about him at all."- Big-Elevator2491

One Way To Handle It...

"Start taking a sh*t on the side walk immediately."- ceiling_fanzz

Excuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphy

No Harm, No Foul

"Say hi."- hot-breadfruit_poop

"And ask how they are doing."

"I'm a curious creature, what can I say?"- Lamacorn

Nothing But Excitement

"Give each other a huge hug."

"We're going to see each other next week for the first time in 25 years."

"It'll be good."

"We've remained friends this whole time, so we're both looking forward to it."- riceme0112358

"Say hi, give him a hug, ask him what he's doing in town."- m00nf1r3

Couple Love GIF by PantayaGiphy

Ouch!

"Didn't you die?" -Reddit

"Wonder who dug her up."- 8urfiat

"Walk On By..."

"Just keep walking."- MythicalMicrowave

Walking By Moe Szyslak GIF by Football AustraliaGiphy

Even If It Means J-Walking

"Cross the street."- no_days_grace

Avoiding Your Ex In Five D's...

"Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge."- catinatank·

The Passage Of Time

"I would wish her well if I recognized her."

"It’s been over 20 years since I’ve seen her."

"It’s not like we parted on bad terms or anything."- Fangsong_37

Lana Parrilla GIF by Paramount+Giphy

Go For The Jugular

"You've sure gotten old."- drpepper1992

About Face

"Run."- saus_blu

Remain Amicable

"Have a chat."

"We are still friends."- Mentalfloss1

Meg Ryan Comedy GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy

Of course, the worst element of surprise is having no idea how we might react.

Try as we might to plan just what we'd do should we ever run into an ex, we can't possibly know what will actually happen should that moment arrive.

Though, hopefully it won't ever lead to defecating on the street.