"The Office" was, of course, a piece of satire. Surely, no actual office workplace is that absurd, that full of that many inappropriate comments and behaviors, run that ineptly on a daily basis.
But we must remember that satire always has a foot in real life experience. A recent Reddit thread shed some light on the prevalence of Michael Scott antics in real life work environments. Read enough of these stories and you'll be left considering "The Office" a lot less far-fetched than you had assumed.
There were some common themes that cropped up in these comically horrible office leaders. A childlike humor was almost always present. Often, a woefully ignorant understanding of other cultures resulted in cringe-worthy microaggressions.
And, of course, there were several very involved office-wide activities that had almost nothing to do with making the company more productive.
Supersmaaashley asked, "Do bosses like Michael Scott actually exist? And if you work/ed for one, what's your craziest story?"
Wild Goose Chase
"He wanted a pomegranate for lunch and they were out of season, but that didn't stop him from sending me on a quest to every grocery store in town in search of a pomegranate."
"Multiple produce guys laughed at me, but that was the easiest $13/hr I've ever made."
Hard at Work
"I had a boss once who spent all morning locked in his office. He asked me to come in after lunch where he showed me a handmade graph."
"He then proceeded to explain that this was a chart of all the sex he had ever had in his life."
" 'See, here it is blank until I joined the army. Then I went to a sex worker here. That's where you see the big jump. I was on two tours but then got shot in the face. I came back home and you see how it just drops to almost nothing.' "
"I was astounded."
The Horror
"I had a boss sneak up behind a middle-aged female employee and pick her up, then immediately drop her down saying 'I didn't think you weighed that much!' He could not stop laughing."
"He was the principal. This occurred during passing period in a crowded middle school hallway."
-- jezebellrae
Wear's His Insecurities on His Sleeve
"I had a redhead boss who made us all sit down and watch a training video about how we shouldn't refer to him as a 'ginger' because it is bullying."
"No one had ever called him that."
-- RespectFar
Checks All the Boxes
"Organized a thoroughly awkward award ceremony once (that we never did again)."
"Asked a Mexican employee if his new baby's name was going to be "No Mas" during the shower we threw for him."
"Heard me once use the phrase 'economy of scale,' then used it wrong 5 minutes later in a conversation with different people."
"Didn't know the meaning behind 'Black Friday' and what it meant for a company to be 'in the black.' "
"Just like Michael Scott, only more of a di**."
You Just Can't Say That
"Never have worked for one myself, but my dad told me a story about his boss who was giving out awards to everyone in honor of how long they've worked there, and he would give speeches for each person."
"A woman employee received her award and he gave a speech about the story of how she came to work there. And he said, 'At first I didn't want to hire her because she was so hot.' "
"My dad's not working there anymore, but I love that story because I will never not picture Michael Scott giving Pam a Dundie and saying that about her."
Bigger Fish to Fry
"I literally had a boss who would stop us in the middle of our work and hold company-wide meetings talking about 9/11 truther conspiracies and chem trails. Mind you we were furniture-making company."
"He would get so caught up in his conspiracy theories that he forgot to order wood to make furniture one month."
-- PAzoo42
A Very Important Side Project
"I worked for a woman as her 'personal assistant/ cat sitter.' She was super rich and off the deep end nuts."
She had me order a mannequin online, and then paid me to take one of the mannequin legs to Nordstrom to try and see what suitcase I could buy that would fit the dismembered mannequin body, because she wanted to fly with the mannequin to Pittsburgh to display 'as her daughter,' dressed in her daughter's clothes, at that daughter's graduation celebration. buying the mannequin was a whole thing too."
"She kept trying to get me to order from "adult doll" websites because she didn't get it. lmao."
Company Incentives
"My boss used to carry around a backpack full of hammers and if you fell sleep at your desk he started banging a hammer on your desk until you woke up and then he would autograph the hammer and give it to you as a gift."
Anything But Work
"We had kidnapping drills one day, where we learned how to 'not be kidnapped'. Notably, this was a regular, boring office in a regular, boring suburb. No reason why kidnapping would be on anybody's radar..."
"He and several of the guys randomly broke out into a push-up contest. Again. White collar office. Middle-aged dudes in khakis."
"Couldn't remember the nationality of our Hispanic colleague. Tried to 'learn Spanish' to make her feel special when she returned from maternity leave. (1) What he learned was NOT Spanish, and (2) she was from Portugal. She knew like, five words of Spanish."
"Disappeared for four days. No call. No email. Wouldn't respond to any of our attempts to reach him. Finally, someone drove out to his house to make sure he was alive. He was. He'd just forgotten to tell us he was taking the week off, and then lost his phone in a lake."
"There were many, many moments like these. Great boss. Genuinely cared about everyone in the company. Occasional moments of brilliance, where he really got things done. But OMG, so many moments of ridiculousness."
The Great Golden Hamster Ball
"My boss is certainly Michael Scott-esque. When I first started I was essentially Pam as well since I was both receptionist and his assistant to some extent."
"My favorite story was back when we were prepping for a conference. Some context, he's terrible with the English language in general and will mangle phrases and descriptions to no end (how the turn tables...)."
"So on a group call he kept talking about wanting a 'golden hamster ball' to do giveaways with. Was raving about how great it would be spinning around while people walked by, all the while everyone on the call was just sitting in confused silence."
"However by that point, I had become so good at decoding his nonsense that I knew he was referring to a gold raffle cage and sent him image privately asking if it's what he was thinking."
"To this day he still talks about the fact I can read his mind and must be psychic. And he still refers to it as a hamster ball."
"All in all he's a pretty nice guy and a solid boss. Hired me based on a gut feeling and has been decent to me ever since."
"I think I knew it would be a good fit when during the interview he tried to tell me about the four pillars of the company and forgot one. Told me later it was Knowledge."
"I used Michael Scott as a reference point for an old boss of mine from the moment I started working there.
"He made Chewbacca noises on the regular because one of my coworkers' names sort of vaguely sounded like Chewbacca (it didn't), used voice to text extremely loudly in his office for no reason to send really personal messages..."
"...got really excited and wore a specific vest any time we had after-work outings scheduled, shouted the same like 7 references to old movies and extremely awkward hip-hop song quotes 100 times a day..."
"...and insisted on greeting all our international coworkers very loudly in their language (they all speak perfect English, of course), looking around for approval afterward, and then fully giggling at everyone's French accents on conference calls. He also told me a lot about an improv show he did for a full year after it happened."
Just a Complete Human, Flaws and All
"That said - he had all the good parts too."
"He never hesitated go to the mat for any of us whether we deserved it or not, he gave really sage business advice and great examples of how to face challenges out of absolutely nowhere, and he came to every community play I did in the 4 years I worked for him - and told everyone else in the office how good I was in it for the following month and chastised them for not coming."
"When things really got serious or bad in my life, he couldn't have been more kind, helpful, and supportive."
"Honestly? Probably the best boss I'll ever have."
Like a Spelling Test
"I had a boss that used to watch me through a gap in the glass partition between our desks. She wanted to see if I was paying attention during meetings."
"One day, I put a large folder to cover the gap and she freaked. I still laugh when I think about it."
-- harperv215
Questionable Hiring Practices
"Never have worked for one myself, but my dad told me a story about his boss who was giving out awards to everyone in honor of how long they've worked there, and he would give speeches for each person."
"A woman employee received her award and he gave a speech about the story of how she came to work there. And he said, 'At first I didn't want to hire her because she was so hot.' "
"My dad's not working there anymore, but I love that story because I will never not picture Michael Scott giving Pam a Dundie and saying that about her."
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People Who Got What They Wished For Along With Unintended Consequences Share Their Experiences
"Reddit user Casca_In_Red asked: 'Have you ever gotten monkey's pawed (gotten something you deeply wished for but it came with unintended consequences) and if so, how?'"
I try to be VERY specific with my wishes.
You have to be.
If you're not specific, you leave room for grey areas.
And the powers that be who dole out wishes like to play with the script.
I'm even precise when I throw pennies in a fountain.
Do the kids still do that anymore?
The sad truth is that life is a give and take.
And irony is unavoidable.
So be careful what you wish for... the author of that line should be a billionaire.
Redditor Casca_In_Red wanted to hear about how wishes and hopes have gone awry, so they asked:
"Have you ever gotten 'monkey's pawed' (gotten something you deeply wished for but it came with unintended consequences) and if so, how?"
Life is consequence and in the end... nothing is free.
Sad Finances
Pay Day Money GIFGiphy"I wished for the money to pay off my car and all my bills, I got the money when my brother died and left me money in his will."
gh234ip
"Same for me. Wished my house would get paid off and then got the money after both my parents died within months of each other."
chi-woo
Let's Go Out
"Wished I could stay at home all day with my cats. Boom, on dialysis with stage 5 kidney failure. I did work 2 more years before going on disability and then I was too sick to enjoy much about being home, but I still got what I wished for. (I'm doing much better now and still stay home with the cats because now I work from home. It'd be nice if I had enough money not to work but I think I've tempted fate enough)."
auntiepink007
Whoops
"In January of 2020, I was overwhelmed with everything in my life and wished for the world to pause for a couple of weeks so I could get my crap figured out. And uh well sorry everyone."
Dropped_Rock
"Scrolling through the comments makes me think COVID was caused by a massive collective wish for a break from work. Like, our entire species consisting mostly of overworked poor sods entered some kind of hive-mind state wanting a break so desperately that evolution said 'You know what? Here, have this!'"
Ser_Optimus
"Same here. When I saw that animal crossing was coming out for the switch, I told my manager I was gonna need a 2 month paid break to play the game as a joke. My manager texted me during lockdown and asked if I was enjoying the game."
CatsandPotatoes
Sacrificing Others
"I got promoted. Something I wanted for a while. I went to go tell a colleague and his desk was being emptied. In order to promote me they let go of him. he hadn't been performing as well... they could have kept both of us but since I asked for the promotion, in order to keep me they canned them."
"It was devastating for him but I never told him what they told me. I just lived with it and let him rant. I lost touch after a while but I don't think he ever put two and two together. I knew because I had asked. For a while, I felt a lot of guilt but it faded. Not my call."
Nonbinary_Tea
CEO Problems
Sad The End GIF by HollyoaksGiphy"Wanted to start a successful company. I did it and lost the love of my life because I was never home."
ruralexcursion
Work takes WORK.
They never tell you how much sacrifice comes along with it.
No Fun
mad homer simpson GIFGiphy"When I was a kid, I just wanted to be an adult so I could do adult things. Am an adult. It's exhausting. My back hurts."
netwolf420
January 2020...
"In January 2020 my wife was diagnosed with Stage III cancer. She was obviously upset, and one thing she was really sad about was having to miss out on social gatherings and work conferences while she underwent chemo and healed up. Fast forward a couple of months and, well, turns out the whole world missed out on all that, too."
"She’s still getting treatment and trying to keep the disease under control. It hasn’t been an easy 3+ years, but our family has been able to enjoy a lot of moments together since the initial diagnosis, and we hope there’s still more to come."
12345_PIZZA
A needed intervening...
"Back in early 2020, I realized I'd misread some dates and had a family vacation planned at the same time I had an evaluation for a university that I had to be there in person for. The vacation was extremely important to me since it was likely it might be the last I could ever go on with my mother. I spent about a week agonizing over it, wishing for some grand intervention that would get me out of the evaluation. Anyways, my wish was granted when my country went into hard lockdown because of Covid. Whoops."
medievalsl*t
Wrong Move
"Wanted this promotion at work to a management-level position. Got it and hated it. The amount of sh*t you have to deal with from coworkers wasn't worth it. Like you kind of have an idea of who's who in the office before, but then you get a veil lifted and you get clued in on a lot of things."
"Like, who's a good worker, who's a complete slacker but still employed b/c of connections, or who has to have some flexible time off b/c they're going thru some substance use issues., etc. Also, the bottom 10% of workers give you like 90% of the trouble."
chewytime
Oh My
Future of the DamnedGiphy"Wished for a girlfriend who was always in the mood. Got that but she wanted it more often than me and got really upset when I couldn’t perform. So then I wished for a break and she died. Also wished my job was remote, and then Covid happened."
bumscicle
Well the phrase "Be careful what you wish for" has never felt scarier.
The grass isn't always greener.
Lesson learned.
Men Who've Had A Woman Move In With Them Explain How A 'Woman's Touch' Improved Things
All of us have our own unique set of talents, and talents around the home are no exception.
But men have pointed out that after having a woman live with them, their home went from simply functional to welcoming and cozy.
Redditor Fortuna_Pulling asked:
"Men who [have lived] alone and then had a woman move into your place, what are some examples of 'a woman's touch' that she added?"
So Comforting.
"So many blankets everywhere."
- OxtailPhoenix
An Annoying Number of Pillows
"So many f**king throw pillows. I can't sit on the couch without moving some. And then where am I supposed to put them?
I'm okay with decorating, but not when it gets in the way of an object's function."
- Pac_Eddy
"I don't get it either, although I'm not nearly as girly as my sister."
"I went to visit them and there was a small mountain of throw pillows at the foot of the bed by the time I cleared them off, all to sleep in their guest bedroom."
- Lady_von_Stinkbeaver
The Garden Feature
"She made a raised flower bed in my backyard and planted a nice little vegetable garden."
- johnsonfromsconsin
"Yeah, my wife is the one who works with plants. I mow the lawn and occasionally rake the leaves when they fall. Also, I trim the two big bushes we have in the backyard once a year. Even that feels like too much yard work for me (but I’m too cheap to pay someone else to do it for me). She likes digging in the dirt. I don’t, never did."
- ChronoLegion2
Surrounded By Loved Ones
"Apparently I am supposed to have pictures of my loved ones in my house. Who knew?"
- BillionaireGhost
Not Knowing What They Had
"My house is plain as f**k. My ex had it looking like a home. Decor/rugs/wall hangings, etc. It was 10 times better. She took it all when she left and I never got around to trying it out myself. I should, though. It really looked so much better."
- depressedf**kboi
Home Sweet Ship
"I worked on a ship when a female cook-steward started working there, before the crew were all male."
"Within a couple of days, the mess and galley were transformed. Tablecloths, curtains, coasters, it was really all new, the galley became a water-cooler kinda place where you always could go to have a chat and get a snack, the galley always smelled of cooking and she was listening to her radio."
"It was a real game changer from the former grumpy guy and sterile setting. Our skipper loved it."
- TheCapten
Out of Thin Air
"A friend of mine, who grew up with his dad and two brothers, told me they found out his dad had a girlfriend when suddenly a candle appeared in the living room out of nowhere."
- The_Sceptic_Lemur
Actual Furniture
"She replaced my cardboard box with an end table. Unnecessarily."
- shytster
"The NERVE!"
- NuttonButton
The Moment He Knew
"I came home once from work. She’d made an awesome dinner. Put cut-up strawberries in the salad."
"Strawberries, guys. It was game over."
"We've been married nine years now and she’s still doing everything on a strawberries-in-the-salad level."
- Gr8BrownBuffalo
Improved Living
"Before my wife moved in (girlfriend at that time), I lived with a friend and our flat looked pretty bad, more like a university student flat than anything else. Zero decorations, old furniture from the landlord, horrible cream color walls, etc."
"Since we were always at work and barely home, it was not a problem for us. Living abroad, I always considered it a temporary place and didn't have much attachment to it, so I didn't want to spend time and money to improve the space."
"Once she moved in, we slowly started making it into a real home. We painted the walls, bought furniture, plants, hung some photos, bought a cat, etc. It made such a huge difference and improved our quality of life, to be honest."
- vgcamara
It's Called "A Variety"
"The million shampoo bottles and all the seasonings."
- ButtervonBaum
More Accessories
"Pictures, curtains, cushions. Little tables to put your drinks on. Coasters! So much stuff, bless her."
- stumpytoeskiing
"For some reason, a couple of different companies send me little magazines every once in a while, so I just use those as coasters. It’s always fun to see what’s on the cover of my new coasters."
- Freedom_7
Organized Like a #CleanTok Video
"My messy fridge turned into a very clean and organized 'refrigeratohrrr.'"
- badboogyman
The At-Home Bakery
"She always gets vanilla candles, and now this house always smells like a bakery, and GOD D**MIT, I LOVE IT."
- Big-Routine222
A Happy Home
"A warmth and happiness I didn’t know I was missing and CERTAINLY didn’t know how to cultivate."
"Art, glassware style unity, refrigerator organization, multiple sets of sheets… The list goes on. A million little touches that compile a happy home."
- CoolAndGroovy
Though there are a few jokes thrown in here, it's heartwarming to see how well-received a comfy and cozy home was for these men on the subReddit and how they're willing to contribute all of those feelings to their partner's hard work.
The people you love can hurt you the most.
When a relationship is on the rocks due to an incompatibility awareness or an unfaithful lover, it can feel like all hope is lost.
But there are worse things to come when the inevitable breakup happens.
Ending a relationship is bad enough as it is, but the words said in the heat of the moment can be like twisting the knife after being stabbed in the heart.
Strangers online revisited their dating history to share their lowest point in a relationship after Redditor thedamned234 asked:
"What is the worst thing your EX said during the breakup?"
These Redditors were kicked while they were down.
There are Options
"I can have any guy in this room, why would I want to be with you."
– wyoflyboy68
"No, you can f'k every guy in this room. It's different."
– PinceTancredi
Dispensible
"After I financially supported her for three years, I paid the travel expenses for American Idol auditions and one America's Got Talent audition. After I nursed her through her recovery after gastric bypass surgery, she said this,"
"You are worthless and I don't have time for you anymore."
– Elle12881
Actions Hurt The Most
"Abusive relationship for 3 years. Finally had enough and broke up with her after taking her to dinner. She got hostile (again) and I literally f'king ran out the restaurant. The worst was her screaming my name while driving in circles around the casino parking lot, honking the horn. She was not sad. She was angry as f'k."
– chaoticneutraldood
Trust issues were at the heart of these problematic relationships.
Hurting Before Getting Hurt
"Justifying her cheating because she thought I was cheating on her."
"I wasn't."
– TopTurtleWorld
"My girlfriend has been accusing me of cheating the last few months. I’ve been depressed and kind of distant, but I still only want her. My greatest fear in life is this. I don’t know what that says about my relationship and self-esteem but here we are."
– VANY11A
Just Someone She Lived With
"My last ex left me for the person she was cheating on me with, after 3 years together. When she came to get the last of her stuff, she would only talk about how she was worried she'd screwed up things with her new partner, cause he didn't know she was with me at the time. She'd lied to him and just said I was someone she lived with."
"She wasn't even sorry about what she'd done to me, just that it was causing problems with the person she actually cared about. Been hard to feel good about myself since then."
– Cheesus333
These words sting the most.
Oof!
"I wish we never met."
– Skyx10
"I usually get something similar from enemies and my brother"
– thedamned234
Undesireable
"My 2nd two year relationship, 'I feel disgusted when I touch you' that ate at me for a while. Much healthier and happy spot now."
– khadmon
By The Way
"Well, it is better than 'I'm breaking up with you because Im getting married tomorrow, please leave or I'll file a restraining order.' After 5 years in a relationship."
– sam-sung
Father Figure
"You'll never be a great father (before I even had children)."
"No reason why she should have said that except I held off having children with her because she was a heavy smoker and lied about quitting. I am now a father of two in a happy marriage of 9+ years. My kids tell me they love me every night and I spend almost all my money on them making memories, not stuff."
– cubsfanrva79
Consolation Prize
"After 5 and a half years: 'I was just afraid I would end up alone, so I settled for you.' Immediately after the break up she had a new boyfriend."
– kokosnoot32
Roommates With Benefits
"6 years and she used the same line on me as she did with the guy before me."
"We were just roommates who f'ked for the last 6 months"
"I'd bought us our firat house 3 months before."
"Over a year later and I'm still broken mess."
– accused_throwaway22
There's no way to soften the blow when it's time to breakup with someone–the worst of which happens when it's a unilateral decision.
Although I give compassion points for those who are not hostile during breakups, it doesn't help when they say, "It's not you it's me."
Like, that makes things so much better.
What do you think is the gentlest and honest way to breakup with someone?
Sex work is real work.
And the reasoning behind why someone does it is none of our business.
However, the loved ones of sex workers can have a difficult road to acceptance, even more than society itself.
Good parents find a way to take care of their kids, though.
Hopefully, that can be the through line.
Everybody is going to have a past their kids learn about, no matter their profession.
What everyone hopes is that it won't be the ultimate judgment of who they are.
Redditor ameen__shaikh was hoping the kids of sex workers would be willing to share their discoveries, so they asked:
"Children of sex workers, how did you find out your mom/dad was a sex worker?"
Truth First
Hey Girl Rose GIFGiphy"My dad straight up told me he was a gigolo in Denver in the 80s, 30 years later. He had moved out there to get away from an abusive home life when he turned 18 and found that that was the best way to make ends meet."
Stillawakeat330am
Do What You Have To Do
"My mom wasn’t in sex work anymore when I was born, but she raised my older brother on the money she got as a stripper. She worked customer service jobs my entire life. When I was around 7 or 8, I went to go do something on the family computer and I saw a Facebook message she sent to her friend referencing her days as a 'dancer.'"
"I was super excited upon reading this and confronted my mom, thinking she was a ballerina or something. She explained to me (in the most age-appropriate terms she could) that she was a stripper. Of course, she didn’t go into all the details until I was older."
infectedorchid
Shut up Auntie!
"My aunt drunkenly told me that my mom was a stripper one night and not a FedEx driver as she had told me. She traveled a lot (apparently she was a hot commodity) and would tell me that she was staying with her friend when she had to work because she lived closer to work. As a child, I had no reason to not believe my mom. I liked having her home a lot when I was young."
"I was 14 when my aunt told me and my mom had just quit and got a job as a secretary at that point. I wasn't upset by it. I was actually kind of proud that she was a traveling stripper and she brought in a lot of customers. My mom was LIVID my aunt told me though."
Sedaisedaiayay
Nice Men
"I remember living in a den, I was young maybe 6-7, I asked mom why her job was to dress up at night, and she told me she went on dates with nice men. I put two and two together probably around puberty. I didn’t put four and four together and stopped to think about how it affected me till my 30s."
EDMElevatorguy
Straight Up
"The woman admitted to it on my adoption papers."
Minute_Storm_5199
Good to always lead with the truth.
They'll find out anyway.
That's A lot
Confused Over It GIFGiphy"My mom told me so that I can be the person to report it if she ever went missing after a job. When I was 10, she would leave me names, emails, phone numbers, etc. anything she had to help identify a client."
DizzyConversation429
Work Bag
"My mom was a stripper trying to raise four kids. She would work nights, and I would see strange outfits and shoes in her closet and her 'work bag,' everything smelt strongly of cigarettes. I watched the movie Independence Day where Will Smith's wife was an exotic dancer… and I somehow figured out what that was."
"One morning she and I were sitting at the kitchen table together eating breakfast, I was in 4th grade, and I asked her what her job was. She looked at me funny and I continued by asking her if she was a stripper. She asked me why I thought that and I explained everything I listed above. She then confirmed my suspicions and thought my dad (her ex-husband) spilled the beans to me."
"I assured her that was not the case and she asked me never to tell my three brothers. I never did. She eventually got out of this line of work and is now very successful. I’m proud of her and although I used to resent her for some of her choices, I understand now she did what she could to do to take care of her kids."
Jiwalk88
Don’t blame Her
"My mom just told me and my other two sisters straight up. We were 11, 12, and 17. We were just okay with it I guess? Not like we had much of a choice on what our mom would be. She went on and did that for 15 more years...."
BackgroundImpress127
When I was 11
"Interestingly enough my grandma on my dad's side (my mom was the sex worker) was supposed to be punishing me for smoking weed or something I don’t really remember but to get in my head she found my mom's online profile advertising herself and showed it to me when I was about 11 years old. I moved in with my mom later on and she’s been in that line of work my entire life."
MeteorVesta
People have their preferences.
Let it be. We applaud these parents for broaching such difficult topics with their kids.