I've got a decent amount of animals - some fish, turtles, dogs, etc. - but out of all of them, Optimus Prime is definitely *my* pet.
He's kind of a jerk to everyone else, but a with me he's a the biggest bestest beefaroni boy.
That is an outright lie, this dog is awfully behaved and taught himself how to open doors so he stays letting mosquitos in the house and air conditioning all of South Florida instead of just my living room. I just have a soft spot for him.
But here's the thing - soft spot or not, if someone offered me $50k for this dog, my reaction wouldn't be horror because I just love my "shmoopies" and even can't imagine. I'm not that privileged.
I grew up poor, believe me I've imagined $50k a lot. "Shmoops" might get voted off the island when $50k keeps your babies safe and housed. Relax, animal lovers. Optimus Prime is in no danger of going anywhere.
Nobody is tryna pay $50k to be headbutted and farted at all day.
That fact is precisely why my reaction to someone offering me cash for him would be straight up suspicion.
Optimus is a big beautiful male pit bull with so much muscle that he has abs on his butt.
He doesn't have any official papers, and he's fixed so he can't be used for breeding.
He's not a therapy dog and doesn't do any special tricks (on purpose) and in the time it took me to write this intro he farted so loudly that he scared himself awake and then got so excited by the sudden wake up that he did 3 bunny bounces. It's clear this would not be a high-skilled-labor kind of hire, ya know?
So why would someone want to spend that much money on this dog specifically?
Hmm?
GiphyI'd be suspicious that anyone willing to drop serious money on him was going to try to use his size and strength in dog fights and THAT is not gonna fly with me. Not a chance.
The person offering would have to convince me that they're willing to spend that much money on a giant dumb pit bull for some non-fighting reason and that he would have a dope life. Maybe I'd say yes because they sincerely believe he's the reincarnated spirit of their college bro who died in a horrific skiing accident, and they need to take him on a cross country road trip to fulfill the last thing on their bromantic bucket list?
Maybe.
Reddit user spondgbob asked:
"If someone offered you $50,000 to buy your pet, how would you respond?"
Here's what Reddit has to say.
Outside
"I'd tell them to meet me outside the local PetSmart in an hour and then rush there and buy a hamster or something."
"Kind of my only option since I don't have a pet."
- eleven_eighteen
"You sir, are playing 3D chess while the rest of us are all playing checkers."
- StillAll
GiphyIrrational Love
"Great question."
"Made me think for a second because my immediate answer is no but upon thinking about it, and how badly I need the money, the answer is still no."
"Irrational love is crazy."
- To_Fight_The_Night
"Same."
"I could desperately use that money and there's nothing special about my cats. Took a moment to realize it's completely irrational but I could never part with these idiots."
"The harder question after this is at what price point, if any, would you do it?"
- joyfall
Everything Has A Price
"Everything has a price, and they’re in luck that the price for my blind, deaf, arthritic dog happens to be $50k"
- DoctorDblYou
"I mean $50k is $50k."
- MinnesotaMiller
"Like I get that some people view pets as family, good for them. I don't, so as long as they weren't gonna torture the animal or something, then 100% would do it."
- avelak
Poo Problems
" 'You may have the one that runs from it's own poo after it sh*ts' "
- Blastin-Ass
"Had a cat get spooked while sh*tting... when it finished he managed to nuke 4 rooms :( "
- tuffymon
"I call what my dog does a 'poop-about.' "
"Like a walk-about, but she is pooping as she waddles around the yard sniffing rocks and stuff. She's a weird critter and I love her more than anything."
- cycloptopussy
"One of my earliest memory is having a blast farting in the bathtub... and then..."
"Don't make fun of your pet, your own poop can be very scary and we deserve love no less than more courageous creatures."
- RaccoonyDave·
GiphyBye
"Give it to them."
"I love my aquarium and fish in it. But I could build a sweet aquarium set up with $50k."
- Inner-Nothing7779
"Exactly! I wouldn't sell my dog but I'd give my aquariums away for 50k."
"One of them is a custom that a built a background for and I'd still give it away for 50k."
- RPC3
"Yeah, I would sell my cat in a heartbeat. Call me a narcissist I guess."
"Good thing I dont have kids."
- Maggy_Monster
$100k
"I'll take the $100,000 in cash."
"50k to give him to you and another 50k to take him back tomorrow when you've finally reached your limit and can't keep him anymore."
"My dog has his own spirit animal, and that spirit animal is a bag of dicks."
"My dog has separation anxiety and a powerful set of lungs."
"I have to drop him off at my mom's house on the way to work so he can be with someone familiar or else he'll be howling all day. He sounds like a dying bison."
"I'm talking loud enough to hear inside your house half a block away. While he's *inside* my house!"
- Tobias_Atwood
Medical Needs
"I'd sell."
"My kitty is old at this point and I worry now. Someone willing to pay $50k for her probably has the money to take care of medical needs that will be coming soon. That's money I dont have."
"I love her, she has been my family for 17 years now, but if she gets sick reality is I'm gonna have to get her put down probably. She'd have a better chance with someone rich to spoil her at the end."
- BlueClouds42
GiphySick Sh*t
"I'm shocked by everyone saying they'd do it?!"
"If someone is willing to pay that much, just imagine the sick sh*t they are planning on doing. No way I could live with myself."
"Would you sell your kid? You can get a lot more than 50k for one of them..."
"I have a hard time believing someone willing to sell a dog for a 'lot of money' wouldn't be tempted to or actually sell a child."
"It's alooooot of money for children, so if money is the motivator...."
- Pepperclue_55
Little Napoleon
"Couldn't sell."
"My a$$hole cat is a jerk, but family. Though I would expect a lot of push to sell him since he is mean to everyone with only rare moments of niceness."
"Plus they whoever got him would likely kill him."
"He is allergic to fish, can't wear a collar even a breakaway one (somehow almost strangled himself twice), sits in the middle of the road if he escapes, eats the random stuff on the ground, randomly attacks people (full on claws, teeth- goes for the veins usually breaks skin and causes a bruise), has diseases, and goes after other animals in the house regardless of size."
"I hate it and get mad at my boyfriend every time he says it, but he jokes that natural selection is trying its best with my cat. He's kind of right."
"He is untrainable and awful, but incredibly cute and everyone wants to pet him (but quickly learn not to go near him.) At least he does not attack kids 5 and under though."
"I wanted to name him lil Napoleon as he is perpetually ready for a battle and a short legged munchkin. I took him in from my sister but couldn't change his name so it became my nickname for him."
- Wolfling
Get Over It
"It is a beta fish that we have had for six days. The kids are currently celebrating it still being alive because they accidentally killed our first fish in about six hours."
"Suffice to say, I’m pretty sure we can get them over it."
"Yes please on the $50,000."
- NurmGurpler
A Pet Is A Pet
"Only pet I have is a single bug."
"Tanks for the moneys. Enjoy your pet fly."
- QuillWellington
"Time to buy a pet dog!"
- EnderEagle420
"Is its name Randall? Randall seems like a good name for a fly"
- therockethornet
Daddy Herman
"I have a daddy-long-legs in a corner of the garage that I've nicknamed Herman, does that count as a pet?"
- TerraVerdigris
"More than what I have. Tell Herman I said hi"
- ItsLegitCraft
"Can someone start a sub for Herman? I feel there is a community here."
- horny4tacos
"I had 2 daddy-long-legs in my bathroom for weeks. They got quite big. Fred and Wilbur. I came in 1 day and Fred was killing Wilbur. Not cool man. Not cool."
- LogicalFallacy77
"Bro don’t sell Herman wtf"
- rich_white_kid
Daddy Long Legs Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyHow Bout...No!
"Well he’s 13. He’s cost us well over 10k in medical bills in that time. At most he has 2 years left. And that’s optimistic."
"So, all things considered, I’d tell them to go f*ck themselves."
"Same. Mine is 14 and such a crotchety ass hat. But I love him more than anything in the whole world and I would fight to keep him with me"
- lonelytrees516
"I believe this is what unconditional love is."
- mr-emery
No Way Kid GIF by MOODMANGiphyF' You And Your Money.
"F*ck you and that money."
- Allenrw3
"Just the right amount of appropriate and poetic."
- stolpie
"My first thought as well."
"My bearded dragon is special needs and if someone wants to pay that much for her i am sure it would be a death sentence. so, no."
- bunnyrut
"Yup, it’s like selling a family member, makes me just wanna say 'f*ck you'."
- MechTitan
"I mean I'd sooner sell some of my family members."
- DOLCICUS
Pet Rock
"I've got a pet rock let me get him from outside for ya."
- darcreaven
"Outside? Mines housebroken... I can probably get 75k for it"
- runningwaffles19
"Your pet rock is probably in your POH menagerie."
- GrosseTuque
season 8 episode 3 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyNo.. But Why?
" 'LOL why?'."
"One of my dogs is terrified of everything, including house plants, ceiling fans, wind in the trees, invisible greebles, and sometimes her own food bowl. I’m told that when I leave the room she follows me as far as she can and then stands around looking awkward until I come back. So I can’t imagine why anyone would pay that sum of money to take on that level of neuroses."
"The other dog I could see someone wanting, but she’s still a shelter mutt with no sense of personal space and nuclear farts. So…. Why?"
"The answer is no either way, but I’d love to hear their reasoning."
"Decline and research more about my pet to see why would somebody offer that much for a pet"
- FaithlessnessOk1530
"ohhh! 200 IQ response!"
- vegdeg
"I mean, maybe my pet could be working for the government beating up a scientist who is mistaken for a pharmacist and makes inventions that are so genius but his stupidity makes them fail."
- FaithlessnessOk1530
"This was my exact thought"
- disrunner93
Time to be honest with yourself—would you do it?
What would your reaction be?
Let's argue in the comments!
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There are certain theories most deem to be "crackpot."
But, there are some conspiracy theories that have a surprising amount of evidence behind them.
Enough that those conspiracies almost seem to hold water as it were.
If only we could all get a little truth from the higher-ups.
A little truth goes a long way, but they insist on holding onto secrets and lies.
I have a laundry list of questions.
And I'm not the only one.
Redditor CommonBeginning3132 wanted to hear about everyone's theories on what we're NOT being told by our elected officials, so they asked:
"What is something that you’re for sure the US government is hiding from us?"
I want to know about the money they "burn."
I refuse to believe it's all trashed.
The Harvest
artificial intelligence no GIF by ADWEEKGiphy"That comment sections are just one large data harvest of random human thoughts and that data is used to fine-tune AI."
SLObro152
"Well, time to break out the REAL gibberish then."
nogtank
Past Due Date
"How many members of Congress are taking medications that would early retire anyone in the private sector."
TheBubbaDave"
There are likely several members of Congress taking Aricept or Namenda for dementia. Typically once someone needs to start taking those kinds of meds, they're no longer capable of working in an office job (or any job, to be honest)."
BananaPants430
"I wonder at what moment aging politicians realize they're no longer considered a leader in their party and from now on they'll just be occupying a seat for that party for the rest of their lives."
Stumpfinger1
Live Missiles
"I'm convinced that our ICBM protection system is far more accurate than the Pentagon is willing to admit."
KCalifornia19
"The problem with a system protecting the US from nuclear attack is that such a system, no matter how well designed, would be hugely complex, can never be fully tested, and must be close to 100% effective on its first use to have any value."
Renaissance_Slacker
"I was in the navy and my ship was the designated ICBM test ship for the new AEGIS system, we shot down decoy missiles all the time and were 100% effective."
"The missiles are live, there are just no active warheads on them."
iSniffMyPooper
Locations
"The location of nuclear submarines."
Pennsyltuckey54
"The only people who know exactly where the subs are are the navigational and commanding officers on the sub. Even the intelligence and commanding officers that assign the zones for the subs don’t know exactly where they are at any given point. Only the general area they are designated."
TheEveryEmpireFalls
Look Up
Hover Area 51 GIF by GashhudsGiphy"UFOs and not the alien kind. I'm talking about super high-end secret stuff the military has and is still testing out."
DiamondOrBust
Are they out there?
Will we ever truly know?
They keep a tight lid on that one.
Follow the Money
Bugs Bunny Money GIF by Looney TunesGiphy"How many politicians have secret offshore bank accounts full of embezzled taxpayer dollars."
Firetaymer70
Money Talks
"The impact wealthy individuals with personal interests have in politics, inside and abroad."
contessamiau
"Just remember when they talk about American interests abroad they aren't talking about the normal citizen's interests. Realistically what happens in some far away land is going to have little impact on my daily life. What they are really talking about is corporate interests every single time. Smedley Butler tried to warn us almost 100 years ago but we just brushed him off."
Slumminwhitey
Budgets
"Good Lord. Clearly, no one commenting here has ever known anyone working for the federal government. The biggest secret they’re keeping from you is that every government agency spends money like a coke addict in the month of September so that their budgets won’t get slashed in the next fiscal year."
tonovay
"Every single bureaucratic organization in the world does this. It’s not a secret at all."
sdreal
What Did They Find?
"I have a very personal reason for wanting to know what they found at Roswell. My grandfather was in the Air Force and was present at the site. All he ever said about it was, 'It wasn’t a damn weather balloon,' then shut down. He was low-ranking, basically just there to drive the higher-ranking personnel, but he saw something, and I wanted to know what it was! He also firmly believed in aliens, so that just adds to my curiosity, especially given how Southern Baptist he was."
GloInTheDarkUnicorn
Happenstance
Always Sunny Reaction GIFGiphy"Used to believe in this stuff until I started working in government. I’m now convinced that most conspiracy theories can be explained by pure incompetence."
Puzzleheaded_Ice_233
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Many high school graduates face the conundrum of what to major in when they go on to pursue higher education.
Teens who haven't already sparked an interest in a particular field by the time they graduate wind up buying more time waiting for enlightenment by electing "undecided."
But to avoid any stigma of being an idle scholar, some students settle on majors they thought never existed.
"Fun with pasta," anyone?
While such a major might not exist, I wouldn't put it past some academia for coming up with it.
Curious to hear what those unheard-of specialized fields of study are out there, Redditor GazelleHistorical705 asked:
"What is the most ridiculous college major you’ve ever heard of?"
Majors with one word, please.
Sounds Like A Hard Major
"PENIS. My school offered a major in Political Economy of Newly Industrialized Societies, but eventually realized the acronym and changed the name. Pity. I hope some were able to get their degrees with a concentration in PENIS."
– OhMaiMai
Hidden Objective
"Golf."
"It was made so the Vice Chancellor could buy a private golf course for the university, so he could play on it. I believe it had 5 enrollments ever, and one was a joke that didnt show up or pay. It got cancelled the first year, but he got to enjoy his own personal golf course for some years after."
– jadelink88
Just Throwing Ideas
"Frisbee. A friends roommate at Amherst was in some kind of 'create your own major' thing and chose frisbee. His family had momey and college was just a formality."
– hightower65
Certain concepts as a major were hard to grasp.
Seed Of Despotism
"IIRC, like 20 years ago some college in Indiana offered a major in World Domination."
– Rev_Christopheles
"You can only get a job as a henchman with a BS."
"You need a full PhD to be an evil mastermind."
– JimBean823
A Vague Focus
"PhD in general studies."
– dravik
"Tf do you even write your dissertation about."
– Fragile_Line
"Everything."
– ProsciuttoPizza
"Generally."
– cropguru357
Let's Take It Outside
"An old friend has a Bachelor's degree in Outdoor Activities. He was never able to explain exactly what that meant, though."
– EnlargedBit371
"A guy I know majored in Recreation."
– kmsc87
"When I was there, my college had one of the top Parks Recreation and Tourism Management (PRTM) programs in the country."
"It had the nickname 'Party Right Through May.'”
"It was extremely popular with student athletes, especially football players."
"There’s always a demand for graduates too. It seems like one of those fields where you shouldn’t need a college degree to do the work, but you need one to get in the door."
– JimBeam823
Going At Your Own Pace
"When I was in uni my friend dated a guy who was majoring in leisure studies. I used to joke that leisure studies is a 4 year program, but if you’re good enough at it you can do it in 6."
– Mtldoggogogo
Things went up a notch.
Arghhh Ya Kiddin' Me?
"At MIT you can be certified in being a pirate if you complete the courses of pistol, archery, sailing, and fencing."
– yhdreytaweatrst
"It’s not a major, it’s a certificate. But if I ever get my own office it’s going in a very nice diploma frame and I’m gonna see who notices."
– PoorCorrelation
Veritable Hodgepodge
"My university had an Interdisciplinary Studies department that served mainly to get super duper seniors graduated. They would cobble together the random credits people got because they changed majors every semester into a 'degree.' You get some wild majors like a BA in Culinary Traditions and Music in the Former British Empire."
– pinelands1901
Sapphic Education
"My college briefly had a major in Nordic Lesbianism."
– WhizzleTeabags
"I've read many of the responses on here where most of them weren't ridiculous imo but you gave the best one!"
– 90DayTroll
"HUH."
– OP
Make It Up
"At a graduation at the University of Redlands. They have a degree whereby you basically take the classes you want and call it what you want."
"The degree conferred was, I kid you not: 'Still trying to figure out who I am.'”
– dmur726
Clearly there's a major for all occasions.
But at the end of the day, does it really matter as long as you have a BA in something to show you were academically tenacious?
Now go out there and carve out your own path, young scholars!
Just make sure you can pay off those student loans.
Maybe there should be a major on how to avoid debt.
