People Explain What People Think Is Quite Common But Is Actually Extremely Rare
A lot of what we think of as "common occurrences" most likely come through word of mouth.
Stories told from a friend of a friend who knew someone who has a guy who set them up with this extremely rare piece of jewelry that's totally authentic.
Until you find out it's not.
Reddit user, BroodyBatman, wanted to know what's rarer than we might have given it credit for when they asked:
"What’s something very rare that people think is very common?"
Going with the "word of mouth" idea, anecdotal stories, as well as "it happened to them so it could happen to you" type stories can be detrimental to your life, especially if you spend all day thinking it might happen to you.
No, no one is going to sue you for parking in their space.
Every Jewel Trade Everywhere Show Are Liars!
"Turquoise!"
"I'm beginning study to be a jewelsmith and apparently most of the turquoise on the planet has already been mined and used."
"What we use today is a stone called howlite that can visually imitate it."
"If it's real it's likely hand-mined from the few small mines remaining that have some left."
"Real turquoise is very expensive as a result."- Phantasmai
"Yep, same goes for real jade too. The real stuff is expensive and hard to find."
"Most cheap “jade” is aventurine, glass, resin, serpentine or some other kind of stone."
"A lot of jade is also injected with resin and dyed to get the clear, pale-green effect."
"I wanted to buy a jade bangle and did a ton of research and found that the real ones cost at least a few grand with the nice ones being tens of thousands, if not more."
"Also, pretty much all 'jade' facial rollers are not real jade, most are either glass, resin or serpentine, which they like to call 'Xiuyan Jade' because it is found in jade mines but isn’t real jade."- Urban_mist
You're Not Suing For What You Think You're Suing For
"Multimillion dollar personal inconvenience lawsuits."
"You’re not suing McD for millions because your fries were cold."- JK_NC
"And, many times, these lawsuits that are “personal inconvenience” are actually intense lawsuits disguised as inconvenience by the company."
"One example of this is the woman who sued McDonald’s for her coffee being too hot, which seems like an inconvenience, until you realize the coffee was so hot it burned her down to the bone."- imonlyjoiningforthis
Don't Do It For The Fame. Do It Because You Like It.
"Making it big on Youtube/Twitch"- Legenberry817
"Yeah that one guy you watch who “only” has 100-200 viewers on twitch is actually in the top 1% or something lmao it’s crazy"- michael_am
Medical marvels are just that, marvels.
They're rare occurrences that shouldn't be taken as an absolute certainty when you go visit a doctor.
"Anecdotal" does not equal "regularly happens to everyone."
If You Need It, It's Going To Be Rough
"Receiving CPR and surviving with good quality of life."- HelloKidney
"One of my good friends had sudden cardiac arrest due to V-fib."
"Was completely healthy and normal and suddenly dropped dead."
"CPR saved her life and she is back to normal, albeit with a defibrillator now implanted in her chest."
"I think this is the best case scenario."- libertarianlove
Movies Have You Thinking The Wrong Thing
"Photosensitive epilepsy."
"Only 3% of all epileptics are triggered by flashing lights, but it’s what most people think of when you mention seizures."-SPRINT_MON
"Not all seizures are the kind where you fall down and flop around."
"My brother has severe epilepsy, and most of his seizures are just like he's really spaced out."- NeedsMoreTuba
Not As Loud As You Might Think
"Tourette syndrome."
"Well Tourette is not that uncommon, but the swearing is the most extreme form and it's very uncommon"- chinchenping
""I've only met one person I know for sure was diagnosed with it."
"It was in middle school and also somewhat conveniently around the time Tourettes Guy was popular on YouTube, so that's the only reason I was aware Tourettes was a thing."
"However she just squeaked every few minutes, and after sitting behind her for a week or two I didn't even notice anymore."
"Thankfully she didn't get teased at all for it, and honestly my ADHD restless legs were probably a bigger distraction for anyone seated near us."- workplacetemp
Our parents mean well, right?
Some of us grew up doing what they told us, avoiding dangers because the television told them there was danger to be avoided.
However, as the internet and peering through the veil of falsehood has shown us, there's no danger there.
Only lies.
And candy.
Let's Get Together, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
"It seem having two loving parents that treated you right is rare when you speak to people"- YellowStar012
"When I was in University my step mom turned sour and began showing post-partum depression, what ever it’s called, and bi-polar disorder. Ruined the entire family."
"When I complained about fighting at home all my friends looked at me and said it was super normal for them."
"Blew me away how many of my friends I’ve known for years had parents constantly fighting and bickering."
"Granted my father raised my brother and I for a while by himself."- JJHookg
Oh No! They Slipped A Fully Loaded Glock Into My Kid's Candy!
"Intentionally tainted Halloween candy"
". Remember growing up some kids couldn't trick or treat because their parents feared psychos who poisoned the candy or slipped razor blades into the tootsie rolls or whatever?"
"Yeah, as far as I can determine it's a myth and never happens."
"If it did, think about how easy it would be to trace and capture said person."- Marxbrosburner
Stranger/More-Likely-Person-You-Know Danger!
"Child abductions by strangers."
"Growing up in the 80s we were taught that if you were by yourself you were liable to be snatched up by a stranger."
"The reality is most abductions are by people the child knows."
"Stranger abductions make the news and often end tragically, but they’re relatively rare."- AndShesNotEvenPretty
That Stuff Was Supposed To Be Everywhere
"As a kid who grew up in the 80’s - quicksand."- 81PBNJ
"Grew up in the 90s and same!"
"But then I was hired at my current job and quicksand was actually included in my hazard training."
"It turns out there is actually some quicksand at some of my jobsites."
"All those hours of cartoons have prepared me for this!"- butterpuppo
So Sad, But So True...
"COMMON SENSE!"- UPGRADE007
Level Your Expectations
"When a celebrity tells you to just follow your dreams as if it will actually happen if they work hard and believe."- saltyredditbae
Won't Stop People From Looking For It
"Wuv. Twue wuv."- the13Guat
"Real love."
"Like I’m not gonna cheat I just want my partner love."- ghhvyjiiijgv
More Like The American Nightmare
"The American Dream."
"It's a shame Americans are brought up to think if you just work hard, all your work will be for a purpose."
"That purpose is uncle Sam and to barely pay you enough to force you to always come back."
"Uncle Sam is the biggest drug dealer."- Chronodro
"The ability to afford to live in solidarity."- Burssia
Someone Else's Reality
"Dreaming about the lives of others without being yourself in the dream."
"I have very vivid dreams and some of them have been full on life stories of people I've never met, but when I ask about other people's experiences I've only met one other person so far who dreams of the lives of other people."
"It's so strange."- novaboros
Pick A Hand, Any Hand!
"I’m not ambidextrous, but whenever I bring that word up people seem to think it’s pretty common."- bagpipesfart
They've Got To Be Out There Somewhere
"A good person that likes you for who you are."- NoBueno07
"A solid group of people/friends you’ve known for years."- SoberSeldom
Obviously, keep your eyes up because there are real dangers out there.
However, don't fall for propaganda meant to make you fear something that has such a low likelihood of happening that getting struck by lightning feels more likely.
People Share Their Very Specific Dating Restrictions
Reddit user AceofSpadesYT asked: 'What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?'
When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.
Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.
However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.
I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:
"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"
It's Just A Joke!
"No cruel or rude pranks."
– detective_kiara
"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."
– innocuousspeculation
We're (Not) Gonna Party!
"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."
– PlantBasedStangl
"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."
– PlantBasedStangl
LOL
"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."
– Legendary_Lamb2020
My Ears Are Bleeding!
"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."
– YourLocalOrca
At that point, it does sound like them 😂
– CuriousRedditor98
Funemployed
"Have a f**king job."
– Cuss-Mustard
"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."
"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"
"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"
"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."
– DigNitty
"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."
– Pinsit
Just Breathe
"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."
–fishfood19
"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."
– Jonowl89
That'll Do It
"I guess my husband restricts my dating."
– HeinousEncephalon
"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"
– AuralRapist
Prehistoric Love
"Must like dinosaurs."
– Grungeceratops
"That goes without saying."
– Plain_Chacalaca
What's In A Name?
"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."
– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."
– severaltalkingducks
Be Polite
"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."
"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."
– OctopusCandleCompany
God Only Knows
"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."
"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."
– Lulu_42
"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."
– Alcoraiden
Let's Move Tonight (Literally)
"They need to be ok with cold weather."
"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."
"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."
– ThePresidentCantSwim
"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."
– Partner-Elijah
My Purr-fect Match
"Cat has to approve."
– Possible-Source-2454
Non-Negotiable
"They need to be male. Kind of important."
– RMHaney
"So weird, I want the complete opposite."
– eightvo
Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.
People's Craziest 'You Can't Eat At Everyone's House' Experiences
We've all heard the phrase, "You can't eat at everybody's house," but some of us have a few examples of our own to live by.
From not properly cleaning the environment to questionable hygiene ourselves, there are countless reasons why a person may not want to eat what you've cooked after watching you prepare it.
Bracing themselves, Redditor 195901 asked:
"What is your 'you can't eat at everybody's house' horror story?"
Fly Spray Sandwiches
"I told my dad my sandwich tasted like fly spray at my grandma's house. He didn’t believe me."
"Two days later, I caught my grandma spraying the benches 'clean' with the two-dollar fly spray you find at the cheap store."
"Dad figured it was safe to make sandwiches straight on the countertop because they looked clean. I dragged him over to see and he apologized and took my sister and me for fish and chips for lunch."
- littlehungrygiraffe
Special Seasoning Deviled Eggs
"My crackpot aunt served us a lovely tray of deviled eggs, complete with very old paprika sprinkled on top. So old, in fact, the many weevils mixed in it were dead."
- PhoneboothLynn
A Disturbing Surprise
"I visited a friend's house who was living with his mother, and she asked if I wanted a coffee and I said I would."
"Upon getting to the bottom of the cup and taking the last few gulps, I found there was a used bandaid stuck to the bottom… I never ate or drank there again."
- MrRailton
In Need of Child Protective Services
"I was babysitting a kid in a pretty dirty house. I was told to wake him up, supervise bathing and changing clothes, and feed him. I was welcome to whatever was in the fridge. Okay. The house and his clothes were filthy."
"Then, when I opened the cabinets, floods of roaches poured out. There were roaches in every opened box and container."
"I took him back to my house and returned him later that day. I hope the boy ended up in a better situation. I found out CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved shortly after."
- Alltheprettydresses
Traumatized by Raisins
"I was gonna complain about raisins in the potato salad but the other comments on here are scary. Oh my god."
- tcumber
"When I was a young kid, I stayed over at a friend's place, and his mom made veal or something with godd**n raisins INSIDE the meat somehow. It was so nasty, I never forgot it."
- User2716057
You WISH That Was Vinegar
"My MIL fished around in the green bin (compost bin) with her bare hands, didn't wash them, WIPED her GARBAGE JUICE HANDS on the tea towel, and then WENT BACK TO PREPPING THE SALAD."
"She also got horrifically offended if I didn't want to eat at her house."
- 116843189
Poor Home Hygiene
"My first boyfriend’s parents invited me for Thanksgiving. I came over a few days before Christmas and all the same dirty dishes from Thanksgiving were still in the kitchen. I passed on coming over for Christmas dinner."
- MinimalistHomestead
Every Surface Covered
"I went to a friend's house after school, he was going to teach a group of us to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)."
"We got there and his house was disgusting. I'm not the neatest person but the carpet hadn't been vacuumed in forever, clothes were all over the place, and dirty dishes were stacked everywhere."
"I tried to be polite even though the place reeked, but at some point, he was like, 'Who wants snacks!'"
"He picked up a bowl that was crusted with stuff, splashed in some water, wiped it with a towel that clearly hadn't been washed that decade, and poured chips into it. Then he asked if we wanted to stay for dinner. We did not."
- KnittinAndB***hin
O Holy Expiration Dates
"When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at Grandma's. I always got sick afterward. Like, Merry Christmas, you're going to puke now."
"It wasn't until I was all grown up and helping her out in the last weeks of her life that I learned why. She did not believe in expiration dates on anything!"
- SundayMorningTrisha
An Immune System to Remember
"My grandma made me a food phobic from a young age. Whether it was ramen with moths floating on top, or chunky milk in my cereal, it just scarred me for life."
"Dinner at her house was always a fight. Not eating her food was not an option. I'm not sure why that was the hill she would always choose to die on, because she was an amazing grandma other than this."
"Expiration dates aren't a thing. If the cheese was moldy, you cut it off... I think living through the great depression and raising kids in poverty changed her mindset on food."
"I mean obviously, she's doing something right because she's 91. She must have the immunity of a superhero."
- tha_stormin_mormon
Neighborly Love
"I used to help an old neighbor out with grocery shopping, I’d drop the bags at her door and she’d give me a check for the amount of groceries. She’d give me homemade cookies once in a while, chocolate chips."
"I didn’t ever eat them because one time I caught sight of her apartment. It was a large studio, a small kitchen, and tv, and a bed/couch. And there were about 20 cans of cat food, half-eaten, and one million flies and small maggots in different stages of growth, dishes with crusty food stuck to them, and a wall of empty beer cans."
"After I saw that, and got a whiff of her apartment, I started helping her with taking garbage out and putting groceries away, cleaning out her fridge, and making sure her cat was healthy."
"A couple of months later, she got the virus, ended up at a rehab facility, and passed within two weeks."
"Some people need help and a little company…"
- SnooPeripherals6557
No Longer Rice
"A girl I was interested in at the time had cats. I came to her house one day to pick her up for a date and he had a large sack of rice open in her pantry with the pantry door open."
"One of the cats hopped out of the sack of rice and she just casually laughed at it like, 'Oh, they are always getting into things.'"
"I came over the following weekend that SAME sack of rice was in the pantry and I could hear one of them tussling around in it again, we stopped dating sometime after that but anytime she offered to cook for me I immediately pivoted to taking her out to eat instead."
- justad**nfool
"Those cats probably used it as litter."
- Anonymanx
"Yeah, that was my fear."
- justad**nfool
Could Have Warned Her
"My mom told me one about going over to her aunt Virginia's house. She, her parents, and her siblings were sat around the kitchen while her aunt cooked, and my mom could not figure out why no one else was having ANY of this incredibly delicious bread that was on the table."
"She was on her third slice when her aunt stepped out to do something else, and my mom was told by her brother to go look in the flour bin."
"It was absolutely filled with miller moth larvae. Aunt Virginia had been losing her eyesight for years."
- smoothiefruit
"It's f**ked of her parents not to warn her not to eat the bread... like, what the f**k, you KNOW the bread isn't safe, so you're not eating it, but you're fine with letting your daughter have three slices?"
- whydontthissitework
Bad to the Point of Malnutrition
"I graduated high school at 6' 10" tall, but weighing only 120 pounds."
"That's not skinny, that's emaciated."
"The food prepared by my bio-mom was so bad that it wasn't providing me with the nutrients or calories I needed to survive. I went off to college where I had to cook for myself (I wasn't allowed to cook at home because my father insisted that "cooking was women's work")."
"Not only did I discover that food didn't have to be burnt to a crisp, flavorless, or boiled until everything was grey. I also discovered that food can be made to taste good, and using things like salt, or pepper, spices, or various condiments can make it taste amazing."
"The "freshman 15" likely saved my life."
"The thing is, I don't think that my biomom was even aware that her food was that disgusting. Whenever we went out for dinner (which was more often than what my father wanted, but he was the one who insisted on going), she did nothing but complain about how the food was undercooked, 'practically raw,' or 'too spicy,' to eat."
"When she went to other people's houses (including her own extended family) she would criticize them for 'doing it wrong' when she watched them cook anything. She would often end up refusing to eat their food because she 'watched them ruin it,' when they cooked it. We never had guests over to eat her cooking. Ever."
- Galaxy_Ranger_Bob
Clean Hands
"We have a chili contest every year at work around Thanksgiving and I've stopped participating in voting for it because I want to know whose I'm eating before taking any. I work with some great people, but I wouldn't eat at or anything from their house. Strangely enough, the guy I absolutely despise I'll gladly eat his chili because he is clean and well kept and I know his house is."
"I also work with a bunch of people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom in any capacity and we've secretly kept a list so to avoid any potlucks where they take food or to get food before they do."
- SafewordisJohnCandy
We're left with chills after reading these stories.
Where some people might make some mistakes in the kitchen out of just not knowing, like not properly washing rice before cooking it, most of these are just careless mistakes that have disgusting, if not dangerous, results.
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
– MrDDog06
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
– Bogus_34
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
– eerie_white_glow
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
– xdq
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
– Bec_121
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
– doeswaspsmakehoney
The Multi-Tasker
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
– thickening_agent
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
– therapoootic
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
– TheWarmestHugz
Ultimate Comfort
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
– crazyloomis
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
So Kawai
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
– HavingNotAttained
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
– _CozyLavender_
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
– Bi-Beast
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
– deanie1970
Honorable mentions start here.
The Savior
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
– sky_kitten89
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
– chris14020
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
Moostaken Identity
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
~ Marxbrosburner
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
~ FairyQueen89
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
~ millijuna
Oh, 💩
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
~ amerkanische_Frosch
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
~ Blacl-Owl
Stonewalled
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
~ sleepwalkfromsherdog
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
~ Duck_Whistle
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
~ csfshrink
Bling, Bling
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
~ notatravis
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
~ Youre_so_damn_fat
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
~ Wetworth
Ribbit
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
~ DdraigGwyn
Psych!
"Operation Mincemeat."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
~ ThePinkTeenager
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
~ ChipHazardous
Ape 💩
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
~ DeadalusJones
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
~ Freezemoon
Pied Piper
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
~ 3000ghosts
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?