When we talk about personality types, one of the things that often comes up is whether a person is an introvert or an extrovert. We just sort of accept that some people are quieter than others.
Interestingly, that personality trait isn't a fixed one. It's very possible for a person to be boisterous and outspoken when they're young but end up as a more reserved adult. The opposite is also true, though, and that's what we're going to talk about today.
We're focusing on that quiet kid in the back of the class who grew up to be more of an extrovert. Those of us (guilty as charged) who wanted desperately to be outgoing would really love to know...
So let's get straight to some answers, shall we?
I'm still quiet, but now people realize that I'm a great listener and everyone tells me things they usually don't tell anyone.
I'm trustworthy for no reason lol
I ended up working in a grocery store that prided itself on customer interactions so I ended up being forced to converse with strangers. Ends up conversation is a skill and like all skills you can improve with practice.
People assumed I was quiet in HS because I was smart, which really fed my ego. Now people assume I'm quiet because something's wrong with me, which is really sapping from my ego.
I moved out and was no longer out shone by my parents and family. I dared to open up more and kinda found myself
Both my parents are successful musicians and often play big concerts with big orchestra. My brothers were also quite good musicians and my youngest bro is actually studying at the conservatory at the age of 12. The other one played the drum and violin and the tuba for a few years in elementary school. And then you had me. I suck at music, I can't sing, play an instrument bc I'm tonedeaf (I don't hear the difference between different notes, neither do I hear a bass) or read music sheets. I showed interest in the piano and guitar but after realizing it would lead no where bc I'd always need support from other to, for example, tune my guitar, I gave up. I was more talented in other ways, I like to draw and write and create poems. I love to come up with characters and made detailed stories for them. My parents were... disappointed, to say the least. Especially my mom who (I think) had a dream of creating a mini version of her own. My dad in the other found it sad but he was happy I had at least tried and he still supported my other talents. At school I was an average kid, B - grades, not many friends, a wall flower.
This was due my insecurities from home among other things. So it was no wonder that my parents and brothers out shone me. I was... Just me and they were successful and talented and it was always "OH how is your brother doing" and "OH did you go to your mom's concert, she played amazing, didn't she?!" or "How is (brother A) doing, is he still playing the (instrument)?". It was barely "Hey how are you OP?" and "How is school going?". When I moved out, I had a couple rough fights with my parents bc of this as they still expected them to support them and help them and babysit my siblings who are bc much younger than me. I didn't mind doing it if it wasn't for snide remarks I sometimes got like "you barely visit us!" (I was last week at your place wtf are you saying mom?) or "We help you out so much and you never do something in return!" (wow geezz thanks dad) and don't forget the famous "You are always too busy to call of come by, we are your parents!" (Yeah, I know, congrats for figuring that one out, Sherlock Homes but I have my own life and things I need to go to. I can't call you for every fart). It's been now a couple years and I am still in contact with them bc they realized I was my own person and have my own life. Bc I now no longer lived at home and I was pretty young when I moved out people started giving me attention and got curious about my life. I also dared to open up more and more and explore my own talents and learn how to socialize.
Sorry for the long story 😅😅
I have a job that requires me to host meetings, establish report with clients and vendors, and everyone thinks I'm an outgoing extrovert. I am not. It's torture everyday. I cringe everytime the phone rings. I would love to just have a quiet, stay-in-my-cubicle all day kind of job. Or better yet, be able to work from home. Looking forward to a quiet retirement someday.
Not Quiet, Polite
I work in a lab with other former 'quiet kids' and now we're all loud and cracking obscene jokes with each other.
Turns out I'm not quiet, I'm polite and most things that go through my head aren't easy for normal people to like.
I discovered alcohol and realized I'm actually a lot of fun and have tons to talk about. Who knew?
Worked very hard at not being quiet, and realized I had something to offer and that the stakes are usually very, very low if a conversation doesn't go well. I was quiet because I had low self-esteem etc.. so luckily I was able to improve that. One light that got turned on just a few years after high school was someone said they thought I was a snob - so probably a bunch thought I had been a snob. Though it was the opposite (I felt I was not worth taking up someone else's time) it would have looked exactly the same on the outside. So the fact that I was walking around making people feel bad didn't sit right with me and I tried my best to make people at least comfortable.
Here's What Helped
What helped: my best friend was very outgoing and had a lot of friends, and I would sometimes observe her to try to better understand how she interacted so easily and comfortably in many different situations, and would sometimes ask her questions about about it. Also, I discovered a book by a psychologist named Philip Zimbardo who did extensive research on shyness. The book had advice and behavioral exercises to help build more social confidence. I read the book when I was 14 and began trying to do one thing every day from the list of suggestions/activities, and it did help. Some of the activities were low-risk, and others forced me to step out of my comfort zone, which was a good thing. I checked that book out from the library several times over the next couple of years. I just looked up the title. "Shyness: What It Is, What to Do About It."
Another thing that helped a great deal was experimenting with behaving as if I was not a shy person in situations where I did not know many people. I was active in my church youth group, and 2 or 3 times a year, there were youth conferences where kids from a bunch of different churches were all together at one of the larger churches, or at a college campus for a weekend. I saw this as a good opportunity to experiment with "outgoing" behavior, because if I somehow accidentally embarrassed myself, it would not be around kids that I saw all the time. I made friends with girls, talked to boys (a couple of whom flirted with me, and another that called me at home later). I found the experience liberating, and I enjoyed it so much that I started to be more outgoing at school. Getting a part-time job when I was 16 at a restaurant where most of the employees were teens, some from my school and some from other schools, was an experience that forced me to become more comfortable making friends.
In college, I got a job as an RA in the dorms my junior year, and was surprised at how good I was at the peer counseling part of the job. I had not expected to enjoy helping students who had personal problems, academic trouble, roommate conflicts, and so on, but found I was good at it, in large part because as a quiet person, I knew how to be a good listener. Eventually, I became an art therapist - that is a mental health counselor who uses art in therapy sessions to help clients express their emotions. I still tend to be quiet in large group situations, and very much prefer one-to-one or small-group social situations, and I need some time alone every day, but I feel happy with my life. The first time I saw the term "gregarious introvert," I thought "That is exactly what I am, and my husband, too!" We both enjoy meeting new people, but need some alone time every day. Our two young children seem to have the same disposition.
Authorities And Peers Were The Problem
First, a customer-facing job. Others have covered this well. Practice.
The other thing is that as an adult, being quiet is considered more of a 'personality type' and not so much a 'dysfunction that requires constant attempts at intervention'. And that goes a long way! Gained a huge amount of confidence in a hurry when I was all of a sudden no longer surrounded by both authorities and peers who assumed something must be wrong with me.
Many people lie or exaggerate about seemingly little things. For example, I've wondered if many are lying or at the very least stretching the truth about the number of partners they've had.
One of those strange things where half of the people are lying and making the number higher, and the other half are lying and making it lower.
It's funny, isn't it? But you do you! What do we know?
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor SleepingOmibozu asked the online community,
"What's something you're 100% sure most people are lying about?"
"How much their side hustle nets them."
When it comes to side hustles, everyone is much more successful than they actually are.
"Steroid abuse in the fitness industry."
This is a big one. So many people who say they're natural are juicing.
"I have read..."
"I have read and understood the terms and conditions..."
Stop attacking me! I did not ask for this!
"That they don't..."
"That they don’t pick their nose."
Yeah, right. The number of people I've seen digging for gold in public is so high.
"Fully understanding the plot of the Metal Gear Solid series."
I stopped trying to. Do I get a cookie? I'd love one.
"How often they clean..."
"How often they clean their bed sheets."
I'm not even going to ask. I think I will be seriously horrified by the answer.
"If you're not busy..."
"About their productivity levels. If you’re not busy, you’re not a good person."
Yeah, whatever. This is as bad as bragging about not taking breaks at work. It's not a good look.
"So many lies."
"Their income. So many lies."
Many people feel very self conscious about their salaries. It's sad.
"Why they're late."
"Why they’re late."
I'm not late often but when I am it's usually because of something ridiculous where if I said the truth it would sound like a lie.
"Hating the word..."
"Hating the word 'moist.'"
I love the word moist and I won't apologise.
You mean there are still people going on about this? It's just a word, people. Calm down.
Life's a competition, apparently. Take what a lot of people tell you with a grain of salt. That's the best advice.
Have some observations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
I once met a guy who, by all accounts, appeared to have given up. And by that, I mean that they had pretty much decided that life basically ended in the 1970s and early 1980s. He had no interest in modern technology, was remarkably out of the loop when it came to technology or even current events.
This was all very frustrating to witness, but he was actually proud of himself! Proud to not know much–if anything–about the modern world. (And then he complained about how he kept having trouble finding a job.)
It was quite the flex–an unimpressive one at that.
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor metallicmuffin asked the online community,'
"What unimpressive things are people idiotically proud of?"
"Missing breaks at work for a company that wouldn’t care if they died the next day."
This is a big one. It's not cute. Take your break! There's more to life than work!
"Not eating any vegetables. Known a few people state it as if it's some kind of achievement giving themselves constipation."
Knew somebody like this. They wanted to go out on a date.
We did not go out on a date.
"Going into work while sick. Had a coworker who bragged on social media about having strep throat, but was still working because she 'values hard work.'"
Some people appear to have missed the memo that risking other people's health is not a bragging right.
"I know people..."
"Drinking a lot. I know people, grown @ss people in their late 20s, who will brag about passing out on their lawns because they couldn’t make it from the car to the front door."
To be fair, they're in their 20s and most people are idiots then. They might grow out of it!
"I once had..."
"I once had a coworker brag about how dark his pee is."
Are you seriously telling us that they bragged about their kidneys not working correctly?
"I've heard that..."
"Driving better when drunk. I’ve heard that ridiculous statement more times than I should."
If some people seriously believe that, then they should not be allowed to drive.
"I overheard a co-worker recently brag to a girl that he'd already had COVID three times and during his most recent bout, he went to the gym every day that he had it."
There are so, so many things wrong with that person's statement. Can you imagine? "Sure, I got COVID, but at least I didn't miss leg day!"
"I keep hearing people..."
"Not being able to cook. I keep hearing people bragging about how the only thing they can do is boil water."
If you've made it to adulthood and you don't know how to cook for yourself, there's something gravely wrong with this picture.
"Nothing surprises me..."
"Nothing surprises me more than when people are proud of their ignorance."
Knowledge is no guarantee of wisdom but prideful ignorance is proof of its absence.
"I worked with a guy..."
"I worked with a guy who, otherwise very smart, was extremely proud of the fact that he could remove the foil from the neck of a wine bottle without cutting it. He brought it up so many times I lost count. I just let him have it, though, because he seemed to need it."
Of all the things in this thread this is the most reasonable thing to be proud of.
Let's face it, it seems like a lot of people have made over-compensating a part of their personalities.
Sadly, they don't even seem to be doing that all too well, which means we'll continue to be largely unimpressed.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
Who hasn't partaken in a trend everyone was doing at one point, but which quickly became passé?
Indeed, 90's children probably have mountains of POGs which are collecting dust in their parent's attics, and their parent's probably made every effort to hide any pictures of them attempting a mullet.
But seeing the long lineage of fads, from bellbottoms to beanie babies, we can't help but wonder what current trend people will look back on with regret, if not outright disdain, in the not-so-distant future.
Redditor stoopididiotface was curious to hear what the Reddit community thinks will be passé in a matter of time, leading them to ask:
"What current trend will be the most regrettable 20 years from now?"
I update my status much less often these days...
"Posting about almost every aspect of your life on social media."
"I posted some pretty cringe sh*t as a kid that is still floating around somewhere, and that was before social media became big."
"I can't imagine what it's going to be like now."- video_2facebook update GIF by Christina LuGiphy
Parenting should be a personal choice.
"I hope mommy bloggers who post constant pics and details of their children."
"Robbing children of privacy for likes and money is sickening."
"Don’t even get me started on ones with sick kids."- nikki_therese
Everyone was watching it... back then...
"I think people are just starting to regret naming their kids Danerys and Sansa."- Wazula42game of thrones boom GIFGiphy
Felt "kute"... will regret later
"Quirky misspelling of names."- Virghia
Natural beauty is destined for a comeback
"Too much plastic surgery, fillers and Botox on young people."- factchecker8515
"Holy sh*t, there’s no way that your kids won’t be horrified by those weird eyebrows."- DelicaEyebrow Raise GIFGiphy
Here's hoping actions will one day have consequences
"Ignoring criminal acts by politicians."- Max-lower-back-Payne
Contemporary views of education
"The destruction of public education."
"Squeezing and outright sabotage of public schools, prohibitive costs for secondary education."
"The normalization of being undereducated either through apathy or because of forces outside your control."
"The idea that opinion is equal to fact and that sticking to your original viewpoint is heroic."
"'Yeah, your studies may say that, but this is how I FEEL about it'" and similar arguments."
"The reason we are no longer a minor species of omnivorous hunter-gatherers is our ability to pass along knowledge to others."
"Each generation building on the achievements of prior generations is the path to progress in health, quality of life, equality, production and so much more."
"Worse yet, technology now is at a level where if the masses are uneducated, they are also powerless."
"Small groups of people with specific knowledge have become outrageously powerful and this gap in individual power will only get worse with advances in fields like AI and robotics."
"If we allow whole generations to grow up undereducated, it will be very difficult for them to understand and affect their world."
"I feel the exponential growth of wealth gaps across the world is a symptom of this deliberate enforced ignorance."- GrymEdm
Some things we'll laugh about, other's we'll look back on in disdain and horror.
And Ironically, we'll probably be enjoying another current fad which will be outdated in another five years.
When the global pandemic hit in March of 2020, everyone hoped that after two weeks or so of social distancing, cases would begin to drop and things would quickly get back to normal.
And though life is slowly getting back to what it once was, cases of COVID-19 continue to ebb and flow.
It almost feels like everyone must have caught COVID-19 at least once by now.
But even three years in and with multiple variants, there are still a very lucky, select few who have yet to test positive for COVID-19.
Redditor jwa8808 was curious to hear how those who have yet to see two red sticks on their rapid tests have managed to avoid catching COVID-19, leading them to ask:
"For people who have never caught covid even once, what's your secret?"
Having no social life comes with its advantages.
"I'm not very social even without a pandemic."- phorq
"Have no friends, lol."Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy
Fear of big crowds... and everything else.
"Social anxiety."- mungiga123
"Extreme health anxiety."
"It sucks since its unnerving but I took every precaution in the book to not get sick."- _Lost__LightHorror Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
You tell me!
"I really have no idea."
"I've been on building sites with people taking zero precautions, worked in London for a while, delivered into hospitals during lockdown, been surrounded by people who then go on to have covid a few days later."
"Not a clue how I haven't had it yet."- sammykoejoe
Best perk of a home office!
"Working at home and having no social life or sex."- I-P-Freely4ever
Pure, dumb luck!
'Neither me or my kids have been hit."
"The secret, I have no idea besides lure luck."- Hugh-MahnSt Patricks Day Illustration GIFGiphy
I can stay perfectly entertained at home!
"Don't go out."- To_enrich_my_life_17
Dilligence...or common sense?
"Wear masks, go out when you need to, get all the covid shots you are entitled to, stay away from ill people."- kitchen_clintonThe Grand Mask GIF by The Grand HealthcareGiphy
One can't help but sympathize with those too afraid to partake in outings and activities they enjoyed prior to the pandemic.
But hopefully the fact that they've avoided catching an illness which has taken the lives of over six million people worldwide is the comfort they need to feel good about their decisions.