Punny People Reimagine Pick-up Lines as Break-up Lines

Punny People Reimagine Pick-up Lines as Break-up Lines

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Some of you reading this might be in an awful relationship. It's okay to admit it to yourself. They don't make you happy, they never listen to your wants and needs, and, just recently, their morning breath went from "cute" to "slap me with an old slipper." It's alright, though, because Reddit user, r/u/a1ham, asked a question with answers sure to cure those significant other blues when they asked:

If people used "break-up lines" instead of "pick-up lines", what would some of the best ones be?

Just Called To Say...I Don't Love You

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Call me Stevie Wonder because I'm not seeing you anymore.

X-25

May As Well Compliment Yourself On The Way Out

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"Your ex is pretty hot" "Which one?" "Me"

idunnof-ckoff

Is That My Phone Number In Your Pocket?

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I seem to have lost your phone number, can you lose mine?

thatsnotmyname66

Pick Up A Souvenir T-Shirt

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How about... "dang girl, you college? Cause I've spent a lot of time and money on you and I'm pretty disappointed with the experience so far"

Voiceofyourmother

We Have A Tried And Tested Method

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"I'm giving you up for lent"

(true Story, actually happened).

curmudgeonlylion

You're The Cactus In My Life

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Reminds me of that one line that goes something like,

"I need you like a desert needs water; I've adapted to existence without you and prolonged exposure would be disastrous."

theelephantscafe

Takes A Bit, But It Gets There

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We haven't got chemistry.

What we've got is history.

We're over.

Catch22ismybible

No Treasure Map Finding That

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"I lost something"

"What?"

"My feelings for you"

ravibkjoshi

Seriously, It Was Last Minute.

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"I'm sorry I can't come over tonight, something has come up."

"What is it?"

"...my standards."

jclear

Everybody's Working For The Weekend

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Hey boy-- are you the work week? Because I am so looking forward to the end of this!

clowns_in_my_coffee

Impulse Buy

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You should make like my paycheck and disappear in a day or two.

623fer

More Job Related Puns

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Baby you're the boss, so here's my two weeks notice.

I quit!!!

clowns_in_my_coffee

Let's Call It Training For Something Bigger

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Our relationship is like push-ups on your knees. It just isn't working out

LoopedBight

You Can't Spell "Break-Up" Without "B, K, U"

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Take the "L" out of "lover" and it's "over"

OstensiblyMusical

The Jigsaw Of The World

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This guy I know broke up with his now ex girlfriend on prom night by saying,

"We're just two awesome puzzle pieces in the universe that don't fit together right now."

Don't use this line...

...it didn't go over well.

migeme

Rhetorical Questions

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"Did it hurt?"

Did what hurt?

"When I dumped your -ss"

generik89

Be Sure To Lock The Door

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See that dress lying on the floor?

It would look better on you and out the door.

ScorpSt

Plant Jokes

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Are you a tree?

Because f-cking leave.

AbstractActa

Neil DeGrasse Tyson Called...

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It's rare I get to post this twice in a week, but:

"My love for you is like a star in the night sky; it died a long time ago, you just haven't realized it yet "

DiopticTurtle

You Go That Way. I'll Go Home.

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We'll cover more ground if we split up.

dewayneestes

Straight Up

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It isn't you; it's me.

I don't like you.

KaylaChinga

H/T: Reddit

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When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.

"Here's looking at you, kid."

"Love is never having to say you're sorry."

"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."

Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.

Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.

Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:

"What's the most bada** villain quote?"

Benedict from Last Action Hero

"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"

"I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."- S-Markt

last action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy

Donquixote Doflamingo

"Pirates are evil?"

"The Marines are righteous?"

"These terms have always changed throughout the course of history!"

"Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!"

"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"

"This very place is neutral ground!"

"Justice will prevail, you say?"

"But of course it will!"

"Whoever wins this war becomes justice!"- TimeisaLie

The Man with the Midas Touch...

"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'

"'No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die'."- Hunk_Studly

Interrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy

The Last Airbender's Azula

"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."

"Azula: 'Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player'."- herculesmeowlligan

Inigo Montoya, watch out!

"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"

"-the six fingered man."

Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul

“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."

"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94

The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners

"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."

"'Don't talk'."

"Tuco, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'."- jpablo680

Whiterose of Mr. Robot

“'Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice'.”- Lontano64

The final frontier indeed...

"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."

"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."

"Gul Dukat, Deep Space Nine."- hamdingers

Deep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy

A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.

But it's with their words that they really get you.

And how they instantly go from being merely villains, to legends.